


My Arms are Blue!

by thekyuubivixen



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen, Humor, Shadow just wants to sleep, hope y'all like sonic boom, if you don't that's okay too, sanity is put to the test, this fic pokes fun at it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-01-15 03:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 262,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18490663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekyuubivixen/pseuds/thekyuubivixen
Summary: Sonic and crew watch the television show Sonic Boom...and may or may not go crazy in the process.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this crazy mess!

Sonic decided to end his early morning run the second a fat raindrop landed on his nose.

The slightly exasperated hedgehog put on the brakes, pulling up dirt and grass as he dug his heels into the ground. It was a bummer that he had to cut his run short. The adrenaline pumping through his veins, the wind whipping across his face, the pure _rush_ of the activity was so engrained in him that turning around was almost painful.

Sure, running in the rain wouldn't kill him, but he needed traction if he didn't want to eat mud for breakfast. Also, being drenched by _any_ type of water wasn't high on his to-do list.

And okay, he should've expected this because he noticed the darkened clouds when he left his home about ten minutes ago. He just thought that _maybe_ luck would be on his side.

Sonic turned around to face the way he came and inwardly groaned when that one raindrop became hundreds. He drifted his emerald irises from the once bright hilly landscape up towards the dreary sky above, sending it a weak glare. Luck _definitely_ wasn't on his side today…

…especially because he soon learned that grass and rocks weren't great breakfast items either.

"Ugh…" Sonic slammed the door behind him with a huff, sliding out of his muddy shoes. Tails would kill him if he tracked those all over the house. The azure hedgie then wiggled his toes in his damp socks, which were forming a puddle of water under him – with the help of his sopping quills and gloves. Sonic peeled the cloth off of his hands and feet, nose scrunched up at the feeling of the mushy articles.

Blue ears twitched when thunder rumbled in the distance. Yeah, today was officially movie day.

Sonic shook himself afterwards, only feeling a bit self-conscious about being 'naked'. It was just Tails here.

With the dripping material bundled up in one palm, the blue blur called out, "Hey Tails?" The house they resided in wasn't huge, so his voice could carry to any part. Even the garage if the kit wasn't working on anything in there. "Looks like we're stayin' in until-" The rest of Sonic's words died in his throat when he realized that something in the living room seemed a little…off.

And by a little, he meant a _lot._

Sonic whistled in awe as he approached the item that surely wasn't there when he had left. After passing two worn down couches, he paused in his stride and gazed on in interest. "Whoa…Tails! I knew you were a fast worker, but this is incredible!"

How his kid brother mounted a _gigantic_ flat screen television that almost covered an entire wall was lost on him. He couldn't have been out for more than twenty minutes!

Tails, who had been in the kitchen a room over, placed the eggs he was about to crack gently back in the carton. He was kind of glad for this interruption. That clap of thunder caused his fingers to not be as steady as they should. He took a deep breath before making his way to the living room to see what in the heck Sonic was talking about. The two-tailed Mobian had been in the kitchen the whole time Sonic had been gone, so what – oh.

Sapphire orbs widened at the large screen the hedgehog was gaping at. Tails slowed his stride, mind whirling. "Um…Sonic?" he started once he stepped up to his brother's side. A clearly impressed Sonic grinned at him, but he couldn't return the positivity. "I didn't build this."

Sonic's grin morphed into a confused frown. "What do ya mean? You had to! No one _else_ could've built it."

"You're right, because I was the only one here!" Tails' brow furrowed as he thought. "And…I would've heard _something_ if another person did this. It's like it just…appeared!"

A bare hand patted the fox's shoulder. Sonic chuckled. "The gig is up, bud! What, did I just come back too early? Does it not completely work or somethin'?"

Tails tore his attention away from the shiny black surface to make Sonic understand that he had _no_ idea how the TV got there. "Sonic, listen to me! This wasn't a surprise! One, there's no possible _way_ I could put that up there quickly without some kind of help," or magic, "and two…" Tails eyed the screen again, tapping his chin. "…I would've put _some_ type of ribbon on it or something…"

Sonic blinked before waving him off. "I dunno why you're fighting it this hard, but thanks anyway little bro." The hedgehog playfully ruffled the fox's yellow bangs. Another clap of thunder then filled the air, and Tails' namesakes fluffed at the noise. A small smile curved Sonic's lips as he gestured at one of the couches. "We'll worry about breakfast a little later, 'kay? Let's just watch somethin' on this awesome present of yours."

Tails inwardly groaned. "I'm _serious_ Sonic, I didn't… What is that?" He pointed over to a pair of items on the closest couch. The kit shuffled over to them, a curious Sonic on his heels. Tails' gaze snapped between the two objects, befuddled. There was a remote laying there alongside a note. He picked up the paper with quivering fingers – the rain was smacking against their windows now – and read it aloud. "'You're not allowed to leave until you watch all of these.'" Tails held it out for his brother to take. "I didn't write this Sonic! That's not my handwriting!"

Sonic squinted at the words, and Tails was right. This was borderline cursive while the fox's was more like chicken scratch. The hedgehog stared at the letter, then the remote, and then the television. Maybe…there was something fishy going on here. "So you really didn't…?"

"No!" Tails scratched the back of his head. This made no sense. It just wasn't possible… "I didn't do any of this."

"Okay. Well…" Sonic laid the somewhat damp paper back down. "Who did if you didn't? I gotta seriously thank them."

Tails sighed, eying the remote. There were pause, play, and reverse buttons on it, nothing else. "We don't know if this is good or bad Sonic. What if that TV was stolen? Or is covered with some kind of poison?"

"Just because it's storming outside doesn't mean that the world is out to get you, Tails." Sonic advised, and he snickered when the kit grumbled a 'Yes it does' in reply. "There's only one way to figure out if this present is good or bad. We have to see if it has good channels!"

As soon as Sonic grabbed hold of the device, a bright light filled the room.

Both occupants groaned in unison as their eyes burned. The hedgehog dropped the remote back on the sofa, and the light vanished. They blinked their eyelids open after a moment.

Tails rubbed them, wishing for his vision to return back to normal. "What…"

"…was that?" Sonic finished the question, quills bristled in surprise. Neither of them had an answer. The duo glanced around the room, searching for anything out of place or different. There was nothing. Sonic pursed his lips, examining Tails. He looked alright. "Are you okay? It didn't do anythin' to you?"

"Other than make me go blind for a second? Yeah, I'm fine. But…" The fox bit his lip. "This is just so _weird._ "

"Don't have to say that again, buddy." Sonic looked around again for good measure. "Let's-" He nearly had a heart attack when something – or rather some _one_ – appeared right in front of him. "Gah!" He jumped backwards, fists at the ready to lash out.

However, Tails' arm luckily kept him from instinctively punching a certain pinkette in the gut. "A-Amy?" the younger boy stuttered out in shock.

The pink hedgie had been snuggled up in her warm bed, dreaming about something she couldn't remember. So her seemingly teleporting out of her room into the relatively _cold_ air of Sonic's den was more than enough to freak her out. Especially because she was in her pajamas and her hair had to be _horrible._

"Aahhh!" She screamed, hugging the pillow she had taken hostage from her apartment. "What am I doing here?!"

Tails made a calm down motion with his hands. "We don't know!"

Amy adjusted the magenta sleeping cap on her head. "What do you mean you don't know? I was – Sonic?" She had calmed down enough to notice the blue hedgehog behind the fox…and his lack of clothing.

Something in her expression must've given her away – her cheeks were on _fire_ – because Sonic suddenly coughed behind a fist and mumbled, "I'll be right back." He swiftly ran out in the direction of his bedroom.

After regathering herself, Amy pouted. "So why am I here? I was in the middle of a good dream!" And totally not presentable. Did she have bags under her eyes? Oh _Chaos_ she did, didn't she?

Tails rubbed the back of his neck, oblivious to Amy's distress. "Sorry! We just…" He pointed at an item on the soft piece of furniture. "It was the remote!"

"The remote?" Amy peered down at the device with a subtle frown. "That teleported me here?" Her stare turned accusatory. It all made sense now! Tails had been experimenting. She _really_ should've expected this. "Did you build that, Tails?"

The kit resisted the urge to pull on his ears. "I did _not-!_ "

Tails' adamant declaration never finished, for two more Mobians popped into existence. The echidna whipped his neck around crazily while the striped hedgehog took one glance at Tails and instantly scowled.

"Oh my gosh!" Amy exclaimed, and two pairs of eyes focused on her. "You guys too?"

"Too?" Agitated amethysts shifted from her to Tails, who was gaping like a fish. Knuckles stomped over to him, huffing. "Why do you have that look Tails? What did you do?" He was right in the middle of guarding the Master Emerald, and he'd be damned if Eggman or bat-girl got a hold of it again. Tails opened his mouth to answer, but Knuckles didn't let him speak – and was currently almost at the front door. "You can clue me in _after_ we get in the Tornado and are headed back to Angel Island."

The kit held back a yelp when lightning flashed outside, and his ears flattened at the resulting thunder. This day was growing worse and worse, and it _just_ started!

Knuckles paused at the started expression on the kit's face. He knew that Tails and storms weren't the best of friends, and well...the echidna wasn't keen on getting soaked to the bone either. He _guessed_ that he could wait a while until he returned to his little shack on the island. He doubted the doctor would be active now, and Rouge…hopefully wasn't being herself today.

"You can clue me in never, because I don't care." Shadow was not in the mood for this. He had spent all night doing paper work for G.U.N. and while he didn't _need_ sleep, he sure as hell wanted it. The striped Mobian gave the fox a pointed look before strolling over to the door. "Make sure that this doesn't happen again."

Tails wanted to explode.

"Well isn't this a full house?" Sonic waltzed back into the room clad in dry socks and gloves only to be met with two new faces. He assumed that they received the same treatment as Amy. "Were y'all gettin' your beauty sleep too? Sorry about that!"

"Tch." Shadow just scoffed as he went for the door.

Knuckles folded his arms across his chest. "So what's going on here? I know Mr. Emo over there didn't teleport us here."

"Watch it, echidna."

The guardian ignored him as he waited for an answer.

Sonic remained steady when Tails somewhat leaned into him. He had dried himself off a bit while he was gone. The storm was really raging now. "We don't really know ourselves…"

Amy reached for the cursed remote, and the hedgehog/fox duo were too slow to stop her. She grabbed it, and the brothers glanced at each other in shock when nothing happened. The pinkette showed it to Knuckles. "They said that this thing brought us here."

"And I did _not_ build that, by the way!" Tails clarified as the echidna took it.

"You didn't?" Knuckles snorted. "I would believe you Tails, but Sonic is more about destroying everything he touches. He couldn't have-"

Sonic put a hand on his hip and laughed. "Course not! This house'd be levelled before I finished that." The azure hedgehog peered around Knuckles when it sounded like his door was being smashed into. Shadow was ramming the slab of wood, a frustrated frown marring his muzzle. The door shook, but didn't fly off its hinges. "Whoa whoa hey! You can hit me all you want Shads, but the house is off limits!"

He thought that Shadow had ignored him – wouldn't be the first time – but the Ultimate Lifeform sent a glare over his shoulder. "It won't open," he offered as an explanation.

"Uh…did you try the knob?"

"Of _course_ I tried it," Shadow spat. He wasn't an idiot. He wouldn't have been even _using_ the door if he had his Chaos emerald with him, but for some reason, he didn't anymore. "It won't _open._ "

"What?" Tails hovered over to where Shadow was. The striped one stepped to the side. "No way!" The kit gripped the door knob and attempted to turn it. It didn't budge. "Yes way…"

Amy gasped, holding her pillow closer to herself. "Are we trapped in here?"

Sonic scratched his cheek. "Doubt it!" He jogged over to the nearest window and unlocked it. "I'm sure that this will…" He grunted as he pulled up, but it was like someone on the outside was pushing down. He couldn't see anyone out there though. There was nothing but rain. "…ah…nevermind?"

Knuckles cracked his namesakes. "Move outta the way, Sonic! I'll _make_ us a way out!" He reared back a fist as he approached and threw it at the glass when he was close enough. The only thing that resulted from that swing was a hissing guardian. Knuckles held his abused hand against his body. "Even I couldn't…? There's no way!"

"Maybe just the exits are like that!" Sonic looked over at Amy, brow raised. She had discarded her pillow in the sofa by the remote the guardian had dropped. The speedster was going to ask what she meant by that, but then he got his answer when a piko-piko materialized in her hands. She charged at the closest wall and swung with all her might. The handle of her weapon broke in half. The pinkette ogled at the pieces in her grasp. "That's never happened before!"

" _None_ of this had ever happened before…" Knuckles grumbled, nursing his hand.

Sonic ran his fingers through his quills, tapping foot. "So…this is a trap."

"Yeah," Tails agreed as it dawned on him. "It has to be."

All that were present shared a knowing look. "Eggman," they all chorused.

"I'm not surprised." Shadow was glaring at the door like it was the one behind all of this. He just wanted to go home and rest. Now he was stuck here with faker and his posse. Fantastic. "He has been quiet for a while."

His ears then perked up when there was a heavy thud behind them. Shadow – along with the others – spun around at the unexpected noise. He deadpanned at the larger-than-life doctor blinking confusedly on the ground. Eggman was in nothing but boxers and slippers, _not_ what Shadow wanted to see _ever_. Great, now he had to bleach his eyes.

The human gasped in shock once he realized that he was suddenly in his arch-rival's home, his chest bearer than a baby's bottom. Eggman reached for the first thing he saw – Amy's pillow – and covered his exposed skin as he stood up.

Amy's lip curled in disgust. That was her favorite pillow! "I have to burn that now…" she whined.

"What is the meaning of this!?" the doctor demanded, disregarding the pinkette's complaint. He was _sparkly_ clean. The stupid pillow was probably dirty and flea ridden and – Eggman dropped the cushion and settled for crossing his arms instead. The man glared from behind his dark glasses. "Well, rodents?"

"We should be askin' _you_ that, Baldy!" Sonic sauntered over to him and grinned. "Though I'm impressed! Gettin' yourself stuck in your own trap isn't an easy feat!"

"Trap? What are you talking about you walking pincushion?" Eggman growled. The rodent was in _his_ own home for Chaos' sake. The human wouldn't trap Sonic where he was _comfortable._ There had to be spikes and fire and…and water! Couldn't forget that.

Knuckles shook his unharmed fist at the doctor as he approached. "Don't play dumb, Eggman! Let us go or I'll knock you into next week!"

A cold sweat appeared on the doctor's forehead. "Keep your oversized mitts to yourself! I'm not the one to blame here!"

"Oh yeah, I totally believe you." Sonic rolled his eyes. "What's the point of this anyway?"

"Yeah!" Tails stepped up, more than relieved that people stopped blaming him. He didn't mess things up _all_ the time. "Why the TV, remote, and the note? And how in the world are you keeping us in here?"

Eggman would've throttled every single one of the pests if they weren't very capable of killing him. "For the _last time_ , I did not-"

Everyone froze up when loud static filled the room, drowning out the rain. Multiple pairs of eyes locked onto the huge flatscreen on the wall with white noise covering every inch of it. Sonic glimpsed over to the remote to see it untouched on the couch. Eggman wasn't close enough to turn the television on. Maybe it wasn't him… but who…?

Knuckles tilted his head, pointing to the screen. "Did…you two always have that?"

"No!" Tails had _no_ idea what was happening. "It just appeared with the remote and that note!"

Eggman wasn't having it. They had to be toying with him. "Is this some kind of joke? I swear if it is, as soon as I get out of here-" and put on some clothes, "-I _will_ be back with a full army of robots!"

No one heeded the man's warning.

"A note? What did it say?" Knuckles questioned.

The fox went over and picked up the paper again. "It just says 'You're not allowed to leave until you watch all of these'. Nothing else!"

Shadow stomped over and held out his palm. Tails gave him the letter. Shadow read it, growing more irritated. "What is it talking about? There needs to be…" The striped hedgehog trailed off as more words were written in front of his very eyes.

The others instantly crowded around the dark anthro. This was probably the most surprised they've ever seen Shadow. They soon understood why he had cut his sentence short. The letter had been writing itself. It read:

'My apologies. I should've been more specific, huh? Well, to be more clear, none of you are allowed to leave this house until you all watch every single episode stored in that TV. Episodes of what, you ask? It's up to you to figure it out. Have fun!'

Eggman, though he was completely flabbergasted, took the chance to clear his name. "Do you believe me _now?_ "

Sonic's eyes were as wide as they could be. "Yeah Eggy, you're off the hook for now. But back to this…What in the _heck_ just happened?!"

Tails seemed truly concerned. "I…I don't have a scientific explanation for this!"

"I mean… is it magic?" Amy glanced over at a baffled Knuckles. "Like could the emeralds do this… or something…?"

The echidna slowly shook his head. "No…nothing like that…"

Shadow heavily exhaled. "Are we just going to ignore its instructions? I'd rather get this over with so I can get the hell out of here."

"Aw c'mon Shads. Are we really that bad to be around?" Sonic joked, but his heart really wasn't into it. This was too bizarre. The note wrote _itself_ and now they had to watch some…some show to free themselves? The speedster faced the TV and pointed to it. "Look guys!"

They all shifted their attention to the screen. The words 'Once you get comfortable, press play. You'll be here for a while' had replaced the white noise.

A while? Shadow had a bad feeling about this. His patience was already being tested. How much more would he have to endure?

"Do we…do what it says?" Amy suggested. If it was true that they couldn't leave, then they might as well relax and watch. A show couldn't be dangerous, right? Sure, she'd rather be in her regular clothes, but she guessed that couldn't be helped. Sonic didn't seem too repulsed…

"It's obvious that we don't have any other choice," Eggman groused.

"I could break the TV."

"And keep us in here for the rest of eternity? No thank you," Shadow bit at Knuckles.

"There's no point in arguing with a magical being right?" Sonic grabbed the remote and plopped down at one end of the couch, leaning on the arm. "Let's just go with it." He shrugged. "Maybe it'll be somethin' funny!"

Tails took the spot next to the speedster, to Amy's chagrin. He had put a little pep in his step when thunder impinged his ears. Sonic let out a silent breath when the pinkette claimed the other end of the couch. This was the first time he had thanked bad weather.

Knuckles had reluctantly settled on the other sofa along with Eggman. There was a spot left in the middle for Shadow. Lucky him. However, before he sat down, he noticed more writing on the note. He read it aloud. "'You're welcome, Sonic.'" Rubies met with dumbfounded emeralds. "That's what it said."

Before Sonic's brain could recover, sunlight shined through the windows. Any and every sign of the thunderstorm was gone.

The speedster had to scrape his chin off the ground. "It can control the _weather?_ "

It was silent in the room as that information sunk in.

"…Sonic," Knuckles eventually started, "I say that you press play before it gets mad." He did _not_ feel like dying today.

"Already on it," the hedgehog swiftly replied, holding the remote up and pressing play as Shadow stiffly sat down.

The words from before faded away, and more appeared on the screen. 'May the Sonic Boom marathon…commence!'

"Sonic Boom?" Amy repeated, leaning up to look at the azure hero. "Is this show about you, Sonic?"

The speedster allowed a small grin to grow on his muzzle. "I dunno, but if it is, this whole being trapped thing might not be so bad."

Knuckles, Shadow, and Eggman simultaneously groaned. This might be the end of them.

They all silenced when that text went away as well.

**A disembodied voice began narrating as soon as the screen cut to a sunny canyon** _**. "In a world…"** _ **There was another cut to an open ocean with a strange white structure standing upon a lone island.** _**"…where speed is survival…"** _ **Now there was a lush forest in view, along with a blue plane and a hovercraft piloted by a large man in a red jacket.**

Sonic paused it there. "There you go Eggy! It's not gonna be just me, you're in it too! I can't _wait_ to see how many ways you lose to me in this!"

Eggman scowled. "Shut it, rat! I'm sure they'll acknowledge my scientific _genius_ and show your horrible defeat!"

The hero scoffed. "Dream on old man."

**The bright canyon was back again, and the hovercraft came into view once more.** _**"…and where evil never surrenders…"** _ **Eggman was flying fast, weaving in between rocks and sharply turning corners.**

" **It all ends here, old friend," Eggman's voice says as a red clawed robot dropped down and sped off.**

**A cliffside was shown now, slowly panning up. The narrator returned.** _**"Only one man…"** _

" **Yeah…" There was a fake laugh, and suddenly there was a blue hedgehog in some kind of shack. He was scratching his head, standing in front of a bandaged yellow fox. "A-About that…"**

"Woo hoo! You're in it too, Tails!" Sonic held up a hand.

Tails clapped it, though he wasn't as enthusiastic as his brother. They were still basically held hostage by a mysterious force.

Amy narrowed her eyes at the picture, feeling like something was off. And there was. "Sonic! Look at your arms! They're different!"

Sonic blinked. "Wha? I mean yeah, the neckerchief and sports tape are seriously like _why_ but – WHOA! My arms are blue! But why? _Mine_ aren't blue!" He double checked to make sure. Yep, smooth and as pale as ever.

Knuckles propped his chin on his palm and huffed. "Obviously. So what do you think this is? Some kind of dumb reality show?"

"It has to be!" Amy chirped. She was suddenly excited for this. If Eggman, Sonic, and Tails were in it, then it made sense that she was too! And if this was a show focused on romance, then… She smiled, giddy for what's to come.

"I don't know…" Tails tapped his chin. "Yeah, that Sonic looks a _bit_ different, but there's no way that he's an actor. It's like if Sonic had a twin brother! He sounds the same, too!"

Sonic hummed, gears turning in his mind. "Hm…you're on to somethin' Tails. Remember what the letter said? It said it was up to us to figure out what it's about. I don't know about you guys, but I say that I look older there…"

Knuckles was more alert. "So you're assuming that this could be our future?"

Sonic shrugged. "It could be. We've dealt with time stuff before, and it's possible that I could fill in my coat later…"

Amy leaned forward in her seat. "Oh my gosh! That's-"

"You can't be serious." Shadow crossed his arms, giving them a sharp look. "Do you really think that's a possibility? It's stupid to think just because-"

Sonic met his gaze. "Shadow, we've been trapped inside my own home by someone who can make letters write themselves, can materialize a TV out of nowhere, and can change the weather faster than you can say chili dogs. Are videos from the future that much weirder?"

Shadow stood his ground. "I refuse to believe that this is nothing but a damn reality show until proven otherwi – Agh!" He was suddenly shoved off the couch and onto the floor, landing hard on his chest. Shadow rolled over only to see a petrified Knuckles and Eggman looking where he had been. It couldn't have been them. But then who… The Ultimate Lifeform swallowed hard as he returned to his seat. "I believe."

"This is _insane!_ " Eggman cried before stroking his mustache. "Yet interesting…"

"Don't ever make the thing angry, got it." Knuckles glanced over to a half amused/half aghast Sonic. "Play it!"

Sonic didn't need to be told twice.

" _ **Join Sonic…"**_ **The blue hedgehog was currently running in the canyon and sliding to a stop when he came across a perilous ledge, waving his arms to keep from tumbling down.** _ **"And his crew…"**_ **There was Tails in the blue plane, a hopeful looking Amy-**

Said hedgehog giggled to herself. This was going to be good! If she didn't anger whatever was watching them, that is…

**-and then Sonic and Knuckles. The red echidna had a clipboard and pen in his hands. "I think…that you would be a** _**great** _ **sidekick for me."**

**The blue hedgehog answered with an exasperated, "No, Knuckles."**

Sonic paused it and waited for any punishment. There was none. Whew. He then held up two fingers. "Two things. One, me be _your_ sidekick Knux? Ha! And two, are you takin' steroids in the future or what?"

Knuckles glared at him. "No! I will not be taking them! And how do you know anyway? I could have just had some rigorous exercise and – _Hey!_ What was that laugh?" Sonic just grinned cheekily, and the echidna kept himself from throwing a fist in that direction. He didn't know how well the _thing_ took to violence.

"… _ **for all new adventures."**_ **There was an action shot of Tails in his plane avoiding an robotic arm reaching right for him. Then, it switched to Sonic back running in the rocky cliffs, chasing Eggman in the circular hovercraft.**

" **You can't lose me, Egghead!" Sonic taunted with a smirk.**

" **Egg** _ **man!**_ **" The doctor corrected, punching his dashboard in frustration. "You know my name is Doctor Eggman! You do that on purpose!" he growled.**

"What? Want me to call you Baldy McNosehair instead?"

"Be _quiet_ , you insolent cactus!"

"…That's a new one."

" **Initiating speedy swing surprise!" Sonic told his communicator, Eggman not visible anymore. Tails let down a yellow energy beam. The blue hedgehog grabbed the glowing rope and swung around, kicking the red robot from before into a rock wall.**

"Ooo…" Tails didn't know what that tool was, but he liked it.

" **I was just trying to protect you," Sonic said to a disappointed looking Tails.**

**It cut to that same extending arm slicing through one of the blue plane's wings. "By putting me in more danger?" Tails retorted over a scene of the fox panicking as he lost control of the aircraft.**

" **The plan had holes!" Sonic loudly argued.**

Sonic and Tails shared a worried glance. It looked like their relationship got a little rocky there. But it was weird, Tails had been in _way_ more danger than that before, and he never got mad like that. Was this really the future?

**There were multiple action shots of Eggman, Sonic, and Tails before Amy appeared on the screen. She was juggling colorful balls while Sonic gazed on dispassionately.**

"And why am I juggling?" Amy questioned with a frown. "I don't even know how to juggle!" Was she trying to impress Sonic? She inwardly gasped. Maybe she was! If this actually was the future, then she had to learn all she could from her future self!

"There's that same clipboard from before…" Knuckles muttered, bouncing his knee up and down. The scene with him and Sonic and the one with Amy were connected somehow. But hopefully not. He didn't want to entertain Sonic in _any_ way, especially by juggling.

**There were more quick scenes of Sonic, Tails, and Eggman, the human screaming for the red robot to attack. Sonic spin dashed the mech and then the screen cut to 'Sonic Boom', the words flashy and large.**

**After a second Eggman reappeared with a snarl. "I'll be back! With a new robot…who has super laser eyes…and he'll feed me ham!" He floated of into the distance, muttering, "Evil ham…"**

The screen went black, and Sonic snorted. "Evil ham, Eggman? What makes it evil? How you put on pounds after eatin' it?"

The doctor squeezed the arm of the couch, wishing that it was a certain hedgehog's neck. "Don't ask _me!_ I would never say that!" He glared at the black screen like it had insulted his ancestors. "It's like my IQ had dropped faster than you in water!"

"Harsh." Sonic mumbled under his breath.

Knuckles linked his hands behind his head, raising a brow at the brothers. "So it looks that this is mostly going to be about you two and Eggman. Amy and I barely made appearances. And Shadow…" The echidna sneered over at the brooding hedgie.

"Why. Am. I. Even. _Here,_ " Shadow hissed through gritted teeth. He showed up not _once_ during whatever the hell they just watched.

Tails thought about it. "Well, the note implied that there are multiple episodes, right? Maybe you all will show up more often then…?"

"I better," _or this is just a waste of my time,_ Shadow finished his statement in his head. He favored not getting pushed to the floor.

"What was it that we just watched, anyway?" Amy stretched a bit before bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. "An intro? Because that wasn't long enough to be a full episode."

"I think so Ames, cuz look at the screen." Sonic gestured at the television. The words 'Episode 1 – The Sidekick' floated over a play symbol. "The Sidekick? Guess that's where you come into play, Knux! So don't worry about being left out," he teased.

"Shut up," the guardian grumbled.

"Do you think that it'll show how to make that energy beam I had?" Tails questioned Sonic.

The hero smiled before saying, "There's only one way to find out." Sonic was about to press play, but his stomach made itself known.

Tails grinned at him before getting to his feet. "I can whip up some breakfast before we get into the thick of it." Hopefully it was okay with the _thing_ if they took a little break. Nothing pushed him over so…success?

"Thanks bro!" Sonic smiled in appreciation until he noticed Amy's slightly mischievous expression. Before she made a move to scoot over, the hedgehog yawned and turned his body. His legs crossed over each other on the couch, his feet becoming a wall to keep the pinkette away. "Aw man I'm so tired! Love this couch, so comfy…"

The fox snickered when Amy's cheeks puffed out. He then asked, "The rest of you guys want something?"

"Sure," Knuckles grunted.

Amy perked back up a little bit. "Yes please!"

Sapphire orbs then trained on a silent Shadow. He looked every bit like a child who'd been in time out for too long. He was just going to take that as a yes. Tails focused on the gloomy human. "Eggman? What about you?"

The human squinted his eyes at him in distrust. "…What are you making?"

Tails fought hard to retain his chuckles. "Eggs."

Eggman hated the fox and everything he stood for…but his hunger was still there. "Fine…Over-easy!"

Sonic couldn't help himself. "Like every single one of our battles, am I right?"

The hero was laughing too hard to dodge the slipper thrown at him.


	2. Chapter 2

"C'mon Shads." Sonic shoveled hot and delicious scrambled eggs into his mouth. He spoke around the mushy goodness as he pointed his fork at his rival on the opposite couch. "At least _try_ some! Tails wasn't the one who stuck ya in here!"

Shadow's eyes narrowed into slits as he stabbed the eggs on his plate, scraping his utensil intentionally against the glass underneath.

Tails' ears plastered themselves against his head at the terrible sound. He inwardly grumbled as he chewed his breakfast. He had slaved over the stove for all of them, and _this_ was how he was appreciated? Though honestly, the kit couldn't have expected anything else. It was Shadow the stubborn-hog after all. And plus, Shadow hadn't actually said yes when he asked…

Knuckles, who had scarfed down his meal already, eyed his neighbor's. Shadow was missing out. The kid could make some mean eggs. "Hey, if you don't want-"

Shadow growled at him like a dog protecting its bone.

The echidna blinked. That hedgehog was _not_ taking this whole hostage thing well. "…A simple _no_ would've been enough."

Sonic rolled his eyes as he swallowed a bite. "Oh for the love of – Shadow!" The hero gestured to Eggman. The human was stabbing the eggs like they had wronged him as well, but a _least_ he was reluctantly enjoying them. "Eggy's eating them, and he's in a worse situation than you. He hates being trapped, _and_ he hates all of us!"

"There have never been truer words, cactus," the doctor huffed, silently loving how his egg had been seasoned.

"And you think my hatred for all of you is any less?" Shadow wanted no more of this. He wanted to leave, forget that all of this happened, and enjoy the eggs in _peace_. "I despise all of you."

Sonic chuckled. "If you wore pants, they would be on fire right now Shads." The fork in a certain hedgehog's hand snapped in half. "I mean, have you tried asking _nicely_ for the thing to let you go?"

Amy ate the last of her breakfast, tilting her head a bit. "Do you really think that'll work?" Because if it did, she had to quickly prepare a speech so she could at _least_ go freshen up.

Knuckles got more comfortable and gave Shadow his full attention. "There's only one way to find out." This should be good.

Believing that Sonic's suggestion might have some validity to it, Shadow took a deep breath and let his sharp facial features smoothen out. He raised his chin and gazed at the ceiling, even though the _thing_ could be anywhere or everywhere. He parted his lips. "Dear…whoever is listening, can I _please_ return to my home?"

Everyone actually expected something to happen, but nothing did.

Sonic couldn't hold in his snort. "Gotta try harder."

Shadow's grip increased on his plate. " _Pretty_ please?" His reputation just burst into flames. He ignored the snickers to the best of his ability.

"Go that extra mile, Shads! What's the last thing you put on a milkshake?"

The striped hedgehog was surprised that his teeth didn't shatter as he ground them together. "With a _cherry_ on top?" No response, and he broke his plate as well. Eggs sloshed onto his lap and the floor. The room was silent as Shadow stiffly picked up pieces of his breakfast and placed them back on the two halves of the plate. He stood up and stomped into the kitchen.

Worried about the fate of the many fragile items in the other room, Tails hopped to his feet. "Is uh…everyone done?" There were multiple nods, and the kit hurriedly gathered the others' dishes and scampered into the kitchen.

Amy saw that Sonic was occupied laughing at Tails' back, and she took her chance. The pinkette slid over and leaned against the suddenly rigid hero's arm. She locked her elbow with his. "Watching the show would be so much better with us like this, don't you think?"

The girl then blinked when her fingers were gripping nothing but air. Surprised jade orbs drifted over to where Sonic had taken Shadow's seat. The azure speedster uneasily chuckled. "Hey Eggster, crazy weather we're havin' today, yeah?" he asked, pointedly ignoring the 'You will be _mine_ ' coming from a pouting pinkette.

"Don't drag me into your irritating antics!" Eggman scowled, even though he had already been dragged and _trapped._ "I'm already stuck in here with you, I want _no_ part in helping you deal with your emotions!"

"The only emotion I'm dealing with is terror," Sonic mumbled with huff.

Knuckles scoffed. "You're a real gentleman, you know that?"

"Yes, I am! I just gave Amy the whole couch! If that's not chivalry, I don't know what is!"

It was then Tails and Shadow reentered the room, them both staring at Sonic. One was confused while the other was severely irked. Tails glanced at a down-crested Amy and drew the conclusion that Sonic must've hightailed it. Not caring that much about the seating arrangement now that the magical storm was over, Tails palmed the remote the azure anthro had left and popped a squat.

Shadow gave his rival a look, and Sonic was surprised that he didn't burst into flame. The Ultimate Lifeform sat down on the other side of Amy and glared at the screen. His molten gaze dropped when a stress ball with a smiley face materialized in his lap. Without second thought, Shadow picked it up and squeezed rapidly, heavily breathing as if he'd explode any minute.

Amy suddenly feared for her life. She subtly scooted closer to Tails. "I think you should play it now, Tails."

The kit wholeheartedly agreed. "Yeah, let's try to get this over with as soon as possible." He pressed play, and the episode began.

**A bright canyon faded into view, the screen showing off the bright blue sky before dipping down between the towering cliffs. Eggman in his hovercraft then sped into view, avoiding the shear walls.**

"Wait…" Tails paused it. "Hadn't we seen that before? It was in the trailer, right?"

"Sure is bud," Sonic answered as he stretched, slightly brushing Eggman in the process. The doctor's eye twitched in annoyance. Sonic scratched his full stomach. "So…the trailer was just a shorter version of this…or…?"

"Well maybe if we _play_ it, we'll figure that out," Knuckles advised, nodding over to the kit.

**Sonic appeared as well, feet thudding against the rocky ground as he gave chase. "You can't lose me Egghead!"**

**Eggman punched his dashboard in frustration. "Egg** _**man!** _ **You know my name is Dr. Eggman! You do that on** _**purpose.** _ **"**

**The azure hero had a cheeky grin on his face. "Do what, Egghead?"**

Amy pointed at the screen in excitement. "Ooo! That's new!"

Eggman's expression darkened further, if that was even possible. "Yes, and I'm so _glad_ to see that the rodent is still as irritating as he is now."

"Some things never change, Egg _head_." Sonic nudged the doctor with his elbow and removed it before he got smacked. "For example, you're still as bald as ever!"

Eggman's twitch became more prominent.

**Sonic continued to run after the human through the canyon up until the point the hedgehog had to slide to a stop to avoid tumbling off an unexpected cliff. "Who-o-a!" he shouted as his arms waved about; he took a step back after regaining his balance, looking relieved.**

Both Shadow and Eggman imagined him taking a dive, and their moods temporarily rose.

**The screen zoomed out to show a huge hole with lava at the bottom before focusing on a floating Eggman. "It all ends here…old friend. Prepare to be destroyed…by Burnbot!" He gestured over to a red and clawed robot standing at the lip of the cliff.**

Knuckles furrowed his brow. Didn't they know the end of this already? Sonic was spin dashing this bot at the end of the trailer. Why in the hell were they watching this episode then? Couldn't they just skip-

His thoughts derailed when a sudden chill went down his spine. Glancing around, it seemed like he was the only one affected. Alright…the _thing_ could read minds too. Noted. _Please don't kill me. I have a precious rock to protect._

" **So what…" Sonic smirked. "He's gonna burn me with flamethrowers or something?"**

**Eggman scratched his head, a bit flustered. "Flamethrower? Well…no…"**

" **Oh uh acid?" The hero began throwing out guesses. "Incendiary grenades!"**

" **No no no! The – claws!" The doctor gestured at Burnbot, who pinched its 'fingers' together. "He has claws! Very painful claws!"**

**Sonic clearly was entertained by this. "Then you should have called him Clawbot or The Lacerator or Pinch-a-tron 9000. But Burnbot? I mean, that's just false advertising!"**

"I totally agree with him!" Sonic's brow furrowed. "Er…me? Anyway, what's with the name, Eggy? It doesn't make sense!"

"Don't ask _me._ " Eggman's mustache flared. "Ask future me that apparently has lost one too many brain cells!"

"I don't know, Eggman." Knuckles leaned up to lock eyes with the man. "You keep saying that you get dumber, but I don't think you've changed at all. Denial much?"

If the human had his robots, he would've showed that echidna what for. As things were however, he bit his tongue before got covered with purple bruises.

**Eggman was certainly not amused. "** _**I** _ **name the robots, Sonic!" he growled, "Burnbot attack!"**

**Burnbot jumped down to a lower ledge and sped towards Sonic. Said hedgehog – not intimidated in the slightest – ran in the opposite direction, keeping directly across from Burnbot as they slowly spiraled deeper into the crater. Tails flew over the scene in his blue plane.**

Sonic and Tails shared excited looks. The kit then sobered a bit. Was the little fight he and Sonic had in this episode? If so, oh boy…

" **Blue Leader, this is Yellow Sky," the kit spoke into his headset, "I have eyes on Burnbot. He's on the move, over!"**

"Obviously," Shadow muttered, still squeezing the stress ball.

" **Thanks, Tails!" Sonic said into a communicator on his wrist. "Initiate speeding swing surprise!"**

**The pilot immediately dove into the canyon, passing Eggman and making him spin. Tails activated his energy beam –** a certain kit on a couch was enraptured again by the sight of the new tool – **as Sonic and Burnbot leap at each other. Time slowed down as the plane ducked lower, the hedgehog catching the glowing rope. Sonic swung around behind the robot and kicked it into the far wall, Burnbot falling to the ground afterwards.**

_All in a day's work,_ Sonic smugly thought.

**Eggman lowered himself and yelled at his creation. "Get up get up get UP!"**

Amy watched as Burnbot got to its feet. It kinda looked familiar. "Shadow…doesn't that sorta look like Omeg-"

"Don't talk to me."

She didn't want to mess with the bull. "Got it."

**Burnbot looked up, seeing Tails fly by. It raised an arm and shot it right at the plane's wing, severely damaging it. The aircraft corkscrewed as a concerned Sonic watched on. He shouted into his communicator, "Bail, Tails! Bail!" The kit pulled the eject lever, but it broke off in his hand. Sonic stepped forwards to help, but Burnbot stood in his way.**

"Outta the way, chrome dome!" Sonic yelled, his good mood gone. Tails was about to freaking _crash_ and that hunk of junk had the nerve to just-!

"It can't _hear_ you, faker."

"Hush it, Shads! Play with your toy!"

Shadow snarled, but did it anyway. Not because he was told to, oh hell no, but because it kept him from acting out and potentially ticking the _thing_ off again.

**Sonic sidestepped an attack before spin dashing a large loose rock on a cliff above Burnbot. It crashed down on the bot, keeping it from moving. Sonic jumped up high out of the crater just in time to see Tails crash in the distance. "Tails! No!" He gazed on in horror before racing over.**

"Wow, that's…" Tails didn't know what to say. He possibly got injured in what…within three minutes of starting the episode? Would this happen often?

Amy was concerned. There was no way that Tails could walk away from that. "You show up later though, remember? So…you can't be that hurt, right?"

Knuckles didn't want to be a pessimist, but… "It could be out of order," he said lowly.

"It _isn't_ because Amy's right." Sonic pipped up with a determined look on his face. "Tails'll make it through! He's tough as nails! It'll take more than a plane crash to take him out!"

Tails smiled at his bro's words. "Yeah! I've been through worse, and I'm still here!"

The echidna grinned. "You gotta be tough if you hang around Sonic all day. Wherever he goes, danger – and the occasional world-ending apocalypse – follows."

Now that the atmosphere was not as tense, the show played on.

" **We'll be back, Sonic!" Eggman activated a magnet in his hovercraft. He lifted Burnbot out from under the massive rock, grunting, "Oof, you are heavy. Seriously, Burnbot, you could stand to** _ **burn**_ **a few calories."**

Sonic scoffed at that pun. "You try-hard."

Knuckles wasn't so positive. "So you're basically just going to go, after potentially injuring or _killing_ Tails?" he asked incredulously.

"What?" Eggman shrugged. "You expect me to care about the things my robots destroy?" He had nowhere enough compassion stored inside him to complete that feat.

The echidna deadpanned at him before raising a brow. "So you admit that you didn't really change."

Eggman stiffened. "I said no such thing! I just-"

"Nope, you just played yourself." Sonic moved his fingers in a 'keep going' motion. "Keep it rollin, lil bro."

**Sonic pulled a wounded Tails out of the wreckage and laid him gently on the ground. He rested his ear against the kit's chest and sighed in relief at sound of the other's heartbeat.**

" **Keep resting, pal. I'll get you home." Sonic stood back up with Tails in his arms. "I promise I'll never let anything like this happen to you again." The hedgehog walked off-screen.**

Shadow leaned back into the couch, relaxing into the cushion. He was throwing his ball up and down now. "That is the most serious I've ever seen you, hedgehog. It's a nice change from how you are now."

Sonic ignored that jab. "Well yeah! Tails isn't in the best shape…but I wonder what I mean by that?"

Tails thought about the name of the episode, and a lightbulb went off. "You…aren't going to replace me, are you?"

"'Course not! No one can replace my baby brother!"

Tails grumbled about not being a baby anymore as he played the show.

**The scene changed, and a couple of hanging pictures were shown. One was the two brothers fishing, and the other was them playing video games.**

"Where are those hanging?" Amy questioned as she glanced around at the surrounding walls, "Because your walls look nothing like that."

Tails shrugged. "Maybe we moved? I haven't seen the canyon from earlier before."

**A bandaged Tails was laying on a green couch. After a second, he blinked his eyes open and sat up, rubbing his wrappings. "Sonic?" His voice was raspy.**

**The azure hedgehog stepped closer to him. "Hey, buddy! How ya feelin'?"**

"Wherever you moved to…" Knuckles snorted. "You sure downgraded."

"Hey, at least we have air conditioning unlike a certain hermit I know!" Sonic retorted and flinched when the guardian flicked him on his arm.

" **I'm great." Tails stood up. "Ready to get back into action!"**

**Sonic suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, uh…about that." He meekly scratched his head. "Um…I've got some great news! You my friend, are taking early retirement!"**

Tails slouched, feeling betrayed. "Yeah…I'm totally being replaced…"

Sonic frowned at the kit. "I would never do that! We stick by each other through thick and thin!" The hero then pursed his lips, staring at the screen. "What in the heck am I thinking?"

"You're not." Knuckles couldn't see this happening either. Those two were basically inseparable. "You're acting on impulse, which wouldn't be the first time…"

"I mean, he _did_ get hurt pretty bad." Amy played with one of her hanging quills. "Maybe you _really_ don't want to see Tails in pain again? It makes sense."

It didn't matter if it did, Sonic and Tails weren't happy about this development.

" **Early retirement?" Tails repeated, confused.**

" **Yeah! You're gonna be able to play lots of golf and spend time with the grandkids!"**

" **I don't have grandkids!" The fox argued.**

**Sonic pointed at him. "Well, now's your chance to get some!"**

Knuckles stared at Sonic in disbelief. "Wow Sonic…did you just…"

"Sonic!" Amy cried out, cheeks aflame. "He's just eight!" Sure, she didn't know a lot about _that_ , but she knew enough!

The hero's face was flushed as well. He had just told his brother to make kids so _they_ could make kids. "He's older there though!" His voice had risen an octave.

"Still!" The pinkette glanced over at the fox, who looked completely lost.

"What are you guys talking about?"

No one was willing to answer until:

"Hot dogs and donuts."

Everyone – including Eggman – whipped their heads in Shadow's direction, flabbergasted.

Tails still didn't understand. Why was everyone looking at Shadow like he had killed someone? "What-"

"You'll understand when you're older," Sonic hastily stated. Amy took the remote from the kit's hands and the show went on.

" **Trust me, it's for the best." Sonic hugged the younger boy for a second before letting go. "I'll see ya around, pal." He then ran off.**

" **Wait…" Tails blinked. "What just happened?"**

"That's what I'm asking!" Tails exclaimed, his suspicious gaze sweeping the room.

"Nothing bro!" Sonic laughed nervously. "Just enjoy the show!"

**Sonic opened the door he had closed behind him and said, "I fired you." He disappeared again.**

" **Okay, just checking," Tails quietly muttered.**

"Well that was rude," Amy said if not just to change the subject.

Tails nodded. "You can say that again…"

**Sonic was now walking on a sandy beach, somber. "Don't look at me like that. I did what I had to do." He was talking to a stack of flyers advertising the need for a new sidekick. "And now we're going to make sure Tails stays retired." He hung on paper on a nearby tree.**

Eggman scoffed at that. "So you're basically replacing your fox friend so _another_ person could get hurt instead of him? And you call _me_ the bad guy."

Sonic was too busy glaring at a blasé Shadow to respond properly.

**An island was now shown with a white structure standing tall and proud in the middle of it. "Sidekick tryouts." Eggman was sitting inside the shiny building. "All qualified candidates welcome. Best candidate gets the job. Resume and references required." He set the paper down and pointed to it. "Can you believe this?"**

**Orbot held up a finger. "A resume and references aren't unreasonable, sir."**

" **Especially in this job market!" Cubot chirped.**

Orbot and Cubot? Eggman had scrapped those useless machines a long time ago! They had gotten on his nerves, and the doctor could only handle so much aggravation in one lifetime.

**Eggman slammed his fist down and threw the crumpled-up flyer at the frightened bots. "What fool would want to be Sonic's sidekick? Spending every day with him…enjoying his friendship and respect…"**

Tails frowned up at that. "I…don't know if you're insulting me or just being weirdly jealous…"

"I'm _insulting_ you!" Eggman yelled indignantly while Sonic chuckled at the same time. "Totally jealous."

" **Not me, that's for sure!" The doctor stroked his chin. "Unless…" There was a zoom in on his face before it panned down. Eggman fixed it, growling, "Lousy security camera!"**

**This scene switched to the shack from earlier. There was a line forming in front of it, containing several people including Amy and Knuckles.**

Amy wiggled happily in her seat at her appearance, loving the new outfit she had adorned.

"You sure it's not steroids?" Sonic asked his echidna neighbor.

"No!" Knuckles adamantly opposed, fists clenching. "I told you, it's because I'm probably working out! Or had a growth spurt or-"

"Or had one too many protein shakes with a little special ingredient?" The hedgehog finished haughtily. He almost regretted his words when the guardian punched him in the arm not-so-gently. Almost.

**Sonic was sitting at a desk with a clipboard and a pencil. Amy was standing in front of him, smiling. "I'm Amy Rose, and I'll be auditioning for the job of sidekick."**

Tails' namesakes quivered nervously. Sonic _better_ not replace him with her. Pals before gals!

**Sonic sighed. "Amy, I know who you are."**

**The pinkette perked up. "Great! Because I'm fine with nepotism. Oh, and under special skills, you can add juggling and singing." She began juggling three colorful balls. "Oh when the Saints, go marching in! Ba ba da da ba ba!"**

Amy couldn't process what she just saw. Her mouth was hanging open. "What…? Why did I…?"

Sonic coughed behind his fist to mask his laugh. "Guess that's what we saw in the trailer."

"But why would I do that?! It was so unattractive!" she squealed. Tails leaned a bit away from her, and Shadow squeezed his stress reliever harder. "And my voice! Sonic, I can sing _way_ better than that!"

The hero did a calm down motion with his hand. "I'll take your word for it!"

"Well, it seems like Amy becomes crazier later on, and I didn't think that was possible." Knuckles glanced over at the pinkette and grunted. "No offense."

Amy had to keep herself from materializing another piko and hammering the echidna with it. She wasn't crazy, just incessantly determined _._

**Sonic was not entertained. "Next!"**

**A beaver with a red bow tie stood in front of the hero now. "My greatest weakness? Actually, it is my incredible cowardice."**

_Two down…_ Tails thought.

**Amy was back on screen.**

"What? Did you cut people, Amy?" The kit peered at her.

"I wouldn't!"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she did, given who she's trying to impress…"

Knuckles hastily ducked the hammer hurled at him.

**Sonic was on his feet beside her as she gushed. "Oh improv? I love improv!" Her accent drastically changed. "I'm a crazy pizza man! Who juggles and sings!" She juggled again, singing, "Oh when the Saints go marching in!" Sonic exasperatedly turned her around and pushed her out.**

Amy's embarrassed blush reached her ears, but her glare kept the others from saying anything else.

**Knuckles was leaning against the desk with the clipboard and pencil in his hands. "I think…that you'd be a** _**great** _ **sidekick for me."**

" **No, Knuckles." Sonic deadpanned. "I'm looking for someone to be** _ **my**_ **sidekick."**

" **We'd have to change your name, though," the echidna continued as if the hedgehog hadn't spoken, "I'm thinking…Knuckles Junior." Sonic grabbed the clipboard and pencil, crossing something out on the paper.**

"Knuckles…Junior?" Knuckles repeated it like it was foreign language. The guardian crossed his arms and frowned. "Alright Sonic, it might not be steroids, but I _have_ to be taking some kind of drug."

"Or maybe you're just uh…" Sonic gave up. "I got nothin'."

**A hooded figure stepped up to the desk –** like it wasn't _obvious_ who was under there – **and Sonic regarded the mystery person. "Okay…last question. What would you do in a no-win situation?"**

**In a fake deep voice, the figure responded, "If I'm with you, there's no such thing as a 'no-win situation.'"**

Sonic smirked over at Tails. "I taught you well!"

Tails chuckled, content now that it seemed that future Sonic would choose him. "I learned from the best!"

" **Huh." Sonic looked impressed. "You really get it, new guy."**

**The person nodded. "I** _**do** _ **get it. But I'm not a new guy. In reality, I am none other than…" They attempted to pull the hood off, but it somehow got stuck, them falling down in the process.**

**Sonic stood up and frowned at who was eventually revealed. "Tails? You cannot be my sidekick!"**

And…Tails' prediction was wrong.

**The fox held up the flyer from before. "All qualified candidates welcome. Best candidate gets the job." Tails gestured to himself. "I'm a lock! Unless there's something you're not telling me…"**

" **Fine!" Sonic put a hand on his hip. "But get ready for the tryout of your life!"**

Sonic explosively sighed. "Am I always this stubborn?"

"Yes," Shadow answered.

"Absolutely," Eggman added.

The speedster rolled his eyes. He knew better than to ask that question with those two in the room. "Yeah, like _you two_ have any room to complain about _my_ stubbornness."

Shadow tisked. "You asked."

" **Hello," a new yet familiar voice greeted.**

**Sonic and Tails whirled around. "Eggman!" the latter shouted out in surprise.**

" **What are you doing here?" The hedgehog got into a fighting stance.**

"What _am_ I doing there?" The human was lost as he gazed at the screen, but then all the pieces came together. He ran his hands down his face, frustrated beyond belief. Out all of the possible schemes-!

" **My name is Dr. Eggman, and I'm here about the sidekick position." He held up a resume.**

Sonic barked out a laugh. "You _can't_ be serious, Eggy!"

"I wish I wasn't." Eggman groaned. He didn't think it was possible to despise his future self _this_ much.

"Whatever you're trying to do won't work though!" Amy shook her head. "Because Sonic'll never work with you!"

"And you think that I want to work with _him?_ " The doctor scrunched his nose in distaste. "I wouldn't willingly spend more time with the rat than I have to!"

"The show says otherwise!" Sonic jeered, and Eggman counted down from thirty in his mind to keep his anger in check. "But I agree with what Ames said, it'll never work!"

**Sonic was more than a little confused. "Wha…but you're my arch-nemesis!"**

"See?"

" **That's true," Eggman concurred, "But I could be a valuable asset to your organization. For example, I'm a doctor. Not a real doctor, a PhD, but still!"**

**Sonic wasn't budging. "You can't be my sidekick."**

**The human thrusted the flyer into his face. "All qualified candidates welcome?"**

" **Okay…fine." Sonic glanced between the man and fox. "You both can move on to Round Two, but neither one of you is going to be my sidekick."**

Sonic's lips curved downwards as he tapped his foot. "Why am I even givin' him a chance? _I_ would've just kicked 'im out and called it a day!"

"Granted, you'd never try to replace me in the first place…" Tails uttered.

"Like, have we all gone crazy or somethin'?"

The fox shook his head. "I'm the only one who hasn't changed! Well…" Sapphire orbs drifted over to a dispassionate striped hedgie. "That we know so far."

Shadow was marginally glad that he hadn't shown up yet. If his future self turned out to be outrageous, he was going to do something he'd regret. Especially if he found out the cause was someone in this room.

"There's no way of knowing now…" Amy fingered a loose thread on her pajamas. "I say that the show will clue us in! You know, eventually…"

"I _don't_ want to watch any more of this!" Eggman complained. Future or not, this was borderline torture! The man then blinked when a smiley face stress ball appeared in his lap as well. It was impressive. All of his hate for his arch-rival had transferred to the _thing_ in a few short seconds.

"Why? We get to change it if we know what's comin'!" Sonic grabbed the toy and tossed it up and down.

Eggman didn't respond to him. The last thing he ever wanted to do was _agree_ with the rodent.

" **Who else is there?" Tails inquired.**

**The beaver's head popped up in the doorway, holding up a card. "Actually, do you validate parking?"**

" **Congratulations!" Sonic pointed at him. "You're the third candidate!"**

**The beaver didn't look too ecstatic. "Actually…"**

**The scene changed to a jungle setting, and the small group was standing on the edge of a cliff.**

" **Alright, being my sidekick is no easy task," Sonic began to explain, "This competition will test your strength, stamina, and endurance." The screen panned to show Tails, Eggman, and the beaver on hoverboards.**

"Whoa, is that extreme gear?" At least Sonic hadn't forgotten how to make things fun in the future.

"Maybe?" Knuckles squinted, noting some differences. "They're more crude models, if anything."

" **The winner will be whoever makes it-"**

" **Actually." The beaver interjected, gazing at him. "It's 'whomever'."**

"Okay…" Tails breathed out. "Who else is tired of him?"

Everyone raised their hands.

**Sonic shook the interruption off before gesturing at another cliff in the distance with a red flag on top. "The winner will be** _**whomever** _ **makes it through all the unimaginable hardships and brings me the red flag I planted atop the incredibly dangerous, but inaccurately named, Mount Safety."**

" **Actually-"**

Even Shadow couldn't hold in his amused snort when the on-screen Eggman pushed the beaver off the cliff.

**He screamed on the way down, flailing his arms. Tails and Eggman followed a moment later, beginning their race through the jungle. Sonic ran off to watch from a distance.**

**Racing on trunks and vines, the decorations on the sides of the doctor's board detached, blades popping out of them and spinning. They headed right for Tails.**

" _There's_ the doctor we know." Knuckles observed as the kit crashed into the beaver, the buck-toothed racer falling into the jungle below. "Always throwing in something out of left field."

"Yeah." Sonic patted the man on his shirtless shoulder. "I was scared for a second there! That you actually wanted my _friendship_ and _respect._ "

"Dream on, rodent."

"Dream? More like a nightmare."

" **Actually!" The beaver called beneath tree leaves. "I'm okay!"**

**The two bladed spheres of death continued their chase until Tails put on his brakes, causing them to slam into each other get off his trail. Tails then slid to a stop in a small clearing, where Sonic and his plane were waiting.**

**The hedgehog folded his arms. "What's going on here?"**

" **Nothing I can't handle!" Tails replied cockily.**

"Ding ding! Right answer!" Sonic gave Tails a thumb's up even though he didn't understand _why_ future him was clueless. Was he blind _and_ deaf?

**Tails jumped into his plane and took off. Eggman was right on his tail in his circular hovercraft. Sonic watched them go with a subtle frown before giving chase.**

**The beaver was left by himself. "Actually, I'm just going to lie down in the fetal position and weep." He did just that while sucking his thumb.**

Knuckles glared at the TV. "Why in the hell does he keep getting showed off? Isn't this supposed to be about us? What's the deal with him?"

Amy shared his sentiments. He was getting more screen time than her! "He probably becomes more important in later episodes." The echidna just huffed. That was probably it.

**Up in the air, Tails shouted, "Give up Eggman! This job is rightfully mine!"**

" **I'm not here to be Sonic's sidekick, you nincompoop!" Eggman argued, "I'm here to get rid of you both once and for all!"**

"And you couldn't do that some _other_ way?!" The doctor really wanted to reach through the screen and slap himself one good time.

**The human activated the magnet he had used before, picking up Burnbot from the jungle floor. Sonic, who hadn't expected this, increased his speed hoping to catch up. Now airborne, Burnbot extended his sharp claws, wanting to hit Tails' aircraft. The kit skillfully dodged a few times, but one lucky hit sent him spiraling. Sonic sped up even more at the sight of his brother in danger again.**

**However, the hero almost lost control when he slid on ice covering a frozen lake.**

"Ice? Oh man…" Sonic knew that if there was ice, there was water. He had a _real_ bad feeling that he was going to take a dip sometime soon. He seriously should learn how to swim…

Eggman was stroking his 'stache, humming to himself. Maybe this plan wasn't so bad. He was using the rat's worst fear against him. True, the way his future self got to this point was rather unorthodox, but he didn't have the need to physically harm the human on the television anymore.

Shadow knew that this was tense or whatever, but he couldn't keep quiet about his. "Weren't you all in a jungle? Why in the world is there a damn frozen lake right at the edge of it?"

"I uh er…" Tails was thrown out of the moment by the striped one's question. It was a bit weird. "My mind's blank."

Amy frowned up. "Can't we figure that out _after_ they get out of trouble?"

Shadow's gaze sharpened. "Remember who you're talking to, Rose."

"Remember who _you're_ talking to, Shadow!"

At the appearance of a specific hammer, the Ultimate Lifeform went back to his stress relief.

**Tails' plane was stuck halfway in the broken ice. "Tails!" Sonic called as he clumsily closed the distance between him and the fox.**

**The kit wiggled in his seat, turning the controls. "Sonic! I'm stuck!" Ice shattered more, and the plane sunk deeper.**

**From above, Burnbot morphed its claws into sawblades and launched one at the precarious surface. The aircraft was going to go under any second now. Movements quick, Sonic launched himself at the plane and grasped the kid's arms, pulling with all his might.**

**He freed Tails just as the ice gave way. Sonic jumped away from any cracking ice, him and his brother bouncing a bit upon landing.**

Tails was relieved that they escaped, but he steeled himself for what's to come. This had to be the argument scene between him and Sonic.

**The azure hero stood up, looking ashamed. "Tails…" He sighed. "I didn't really wanna fire you. I was just trying to protect you."**

"You should know, other me, that I'm a danger magnet! And I'm sure I've rubbed off on Tails so much that he's chargin' up too!"

Tails gaped at Sonic. "That has to be the most scientific thing I've ever heard you say!"

The hedgehog mock-bowed. "Thank you. I try."

The kit cocked his head at his brother. Sonic didn't seem too bothered by this…then he shouldn't be either. They were too close for something as small as this to rock their friendship.

" **How? By putting me in more danger?"**

" **The plan had holes!"**

"Yeah, a lot, actually." Knuckles gave Sonic a pointed look. "More than usual."

The hero waved him off. "I'll make sure this doesn't happen, no worries!"

**Tails then smiled, not too angry after all, and Sonic helped him up.**

" **Oh Sonic!" Eggman was suddenly there, too close. "I have one last surprise for you. I took your advice! Burnbot** _ **can**_ **burn things!"**

"See faker?" Shadow rose an eye ridge. "This is a sign that you talk too damn much. Shut up from time to time."

Sonic rolled his eyes, spinning the small yet hefty ball on his finger. "I'll be quiet the day you crack a smile. Deal?" Shadow just glared, and the blue speedster fired a pretend gun at him. Checkmate.

**Burnbot launched two fireballs from its body, creating a ring of fire around the duo that melted the ice. Tails flew because of his namesakes, but Sonic slid into the water and thrashed.**

" **I can't swim!" the hedgehog shouted in distress.**

**Tails lowered himself down and grabbed the hedgehog's hand and tugged; it wasn't enough. "You're waterlogged! I can't lift you!"**

" **Don't worry about me!" Sonic released his hold on the kit, but Tails held on tighter. "Get out of here!"**

Amy's brow furrowed in worry. Not just because of the current situation, but also because the future danger too. Well, the future's future danger. This was their first legit episode, and all of this was happening! Would she also-

The pinkette blinked when a sudden thought came to her. "Where are Knuckles and me during this? We should be helping out!"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Knuckles replied, wondering that too.

**Tails shook his head. "That's not how sidekicks do!" He pulled Sonic again, but he was dragged underwater with the hedgie. They were submerged for a moment, Sonic struggling all the while, until Tails twirled his namesakes and used them as propellers.**

**Tails flew them out of the water and into the air. He let go of Sonic, and the azure hero spun in Burnbot's direction, slamming into it. Ice cracked under the robot's feet, and it instantly sunk.**

**Sonic was caught by the yellow anthro after he bounced away. The flying pair smiled at each other as they headed back into the jungle.**

Sonic stretched out a bit, a victorious grin splitting his face in half. "Well at least that didn't change." He focused on the doctor, who suddenly wished for his smiley ball back. Along with his win, Sonic had taken that away from him too. "I can still beat you anytime, anywhere Eggman!"

"We," Tails corrected.

"That's what I said."

" **I'll be back!" Eggman shook a fist at their retreating backs. "With a new robot! Who has an accurate name!" He began to fly off. "And super laser eyes! And he'll feed me ham!** _ **Evil**_ **ham."**

Eggman inwardly groaned as Sonic laughed like he hadn't seen this already. The human had forgotten all about the ham bit. _Just keep digging the hole deeper, why don't you…_

**There was a time skip. Sonic and Tails were sitting on a beach, gazing into the sunset.**

" **About this job…" Tails stated tentatively, "What are the hours like?"**

**Sonic pretended to think. "Well, it's seven days a week, but you get your own plane."**

**Tails smiled.**

"Aw!" Amy cooed before giving her neighbor a hug. "That's adorable!"

Tails weakly wiggled around in her hold, embarrassed. "Stop…"

**The scene switched to the shack from earlier, and Amy was insistently ringing a bell on the porch. "Lemme in!" she exclaimed, "I demand a call-back!"**

Amy released Tails at the sight of her crazy self on screen. Her ears drooped. "Oh no…"

**Knuckles dragged his feet behind her, looking depressed. Amy saw him and asked, "Knuckles! What's wrong?"**

"I don't even _want_ to know." The echidna sighed out.

**Knuckles heavily exhaled. "Knuckles Junior isn't working out."**

" **Oh…" Amy's expression lit up. "So you're saying you need a…"**

"Don't do it…!"

**Amy ran after the echidna, her accent changing. "I'm a crazy pizza man! Who juggles and sings! Oh when the Saints, go marching in!"**

The pinkette covered her face in shame. "She did it…"

" **Knucklina!"**

Knuckles jumped to his feet as the TV faded to black, waving his arms in the air. "That wasn't even necessary! What in the heck is wrong with me?" He looked over at Amy. "With us?!"

"Calm down, Knux!" Sonic snickered as he pulled the irate echidna back down, ignoring the heated stare he received. "Why so mad? I think it's funny!" The glare increased in intensity. "And well, I guess it's a 'Stay tuned, and you see!' kinda deal, yeah?"

"I hope so!" Amy pipped up. "Because juggling? I couldn't have picked up any _other_ hobby?!"

"I mean…isn't juggling really hard? You have a talent!" Tails tried to cheer the girl up. He didn't know if it worked, for she just puffed and grumbled to herself. Well, at least he made an attempt.

Innocent blue orbs then drifted to the hedgehog on the other side of Amy. Tails was reminded of what he said earlier. "Hey Shadow…" Said hedgie eventually focused on him, head slightly tilted in question. "What did you mean when you said hot dogs and donuts? Those don't really go together and I'm just curious-"

A ghost of a smirk grew on Shadow's muzzle. He'd jump through any window of opportunity to dance on Sonic's nerves. This was very apt payback. "I was talking about se-"

A smiley face stress ball was hurled right at his eye.


	3. Chapter 3

"Yeah uh…If you would've told me _earlier_ that you had pulled an all-nighter, I would've chosen another way to shut you up that _wouldn't_ have caused me extreme pain and agony."

Now that Sonic was splayed out in the middle of his living room floor, his body sore and painted with purple splotches, he was beginning to think that protecting his little brother's innocence wasn't worth a tired and cranky – more like _rabid_ – Shadow attacking him. The experience wasn't pleasant. He swore that the striped one was going to bite him if Knuckles hadn't pulled them apart.

Sonic made a mental note to _wait_ until Shadow had gotten his beauty sleep to give him a black eye. Maybe then he wouldn't be fighting for his dear life.

The azure hedgehog groaned as he adjusted the ice pack on his face, it covering a bruise on his cheek. "Ever think of going to anger management classes, Shads?"

" _Shut it_ , faker," Shadow sharply hissed, mimicking an agitated cat ready to claw someone's eyes out. He was stretched out on the couch, and his only takeaways from the tussle were his rustled quills and his left eye that was nearly swollen shut. The black anthro was rapidly crushing the stress ball he had reclaimed with one hand and pressing a bag of frozen peas to his face with the other. "If I had my emerald, your insides would be _fried._ "

Shadow pictured blasting his rival with a Chaos spear, and he didn't feel so bad anymore.

"Aw, you don't mean that Shads!" Sonic chirped, "You love me too much!"

Tails was sitting by the blue hero, warily staring at Shadow, surprised that the ball hadn't disintegrated under Shadow's increased abuse. The kit and Amy gladly had let Shadow have the whole couch out of the goodness of their hearts, _not_ because they had been afraid that he'd come for them next. The pinkette settled herself safe between Knuckles and Eggman, forgoing being beside her crush on the floor. Apparently, being comfortable and wanting to stay as far away from Shadow as possible exceeded her love for the hero. For now, at least. The amount of time she could endure Eggman's shirtless-ness was unknown.

"Keep quiet, you pin cushion!" Eggman had retrieved the stress reliever that had begun the fight. Partially because he needed it for himself, and partially to prevent any other scuffles. He had been _this_ close to being mistakenly punched in the face. " _I_ want to be the one to destroy you once and for all, not him!"

Sonic chuckled, resting one hand behind his head with effort. "You both can come at me at the same time, and who's gonna end up on top? Me!"

Amy threw him a flabbergasted look. She loved him and all, but did he not _notice_ the condition he was in? Taking a risk, the pinkette focused on the striped hedgehog. "How hard did you hit him on his head…?"

"Not hard enough," Shadow grunted, getting comfortable on the sofa.

Tails glanced between the two rivals with a frown marring his muzzle. "I don't understand why they started fighting in the first place! All I asked was-"

Knuckles didn't feel like dealing with fighting hedgehogs again. Their quills were too sharp. His precious mitts were nearly ruined. "Tails."

Said fox perked up at his name. "Yeah?"

"Do you _want_ me to punch you?"

"…No?"

"Then _drop_ it and focus on the stupid screen." Knuckles wanted to get out of here before he had to pry the Master Emerald away from a clingy Rouge. The guardian glanced up at the TV, reading the episode title. "'Can an Evil Genius Crash on Your Couch for a Few Days?' What kind of-"

"No!" Sonic had the idea to sit up, but his body blatantly refused. The plot of this one was obvious. "No, he can't! I'm the nicest guy in the world-" Shadow scoffed. "-but I wouldn't let Eggy crash here! He'd stink up the place!"

"And I shouldn't _want_ be around a blue haired cretin!" Eggman's voice then dropped to a growl. "And what _is_ it with you rodents thinking that I stink?!"

"Because you always smell like sweat, desperation, and disappointment." The azure hedgie listed off with a grin, inwardly wincing as he readjusted his ice bag.

Eggman followed Shadow's example and pretended his smiley stress ball was Sonic's head.

Amy, believing that the silence was a sign to play the show, did so with a single button press.

**The scene began inside a darkened cabin, panning until Sonic and Tails were shown, sleeping on separate couches. Sonic was lightly snoring until light knocking was heard. He stirred but didn't actually waken until the knocks increased in intensity.**

"And so it begins…" The laying hero muttered, hoping that his future self would send Eggman packing. Though, considering that he had tried to _replace_ Tails as his sidekick, the odds weren't in his favor.

" **Man…" Sonic groused as he sat up, Tails still sound asleep. He zipped over to the front door and opened it, revealing Eggman in a damp trench coat. It was raining.**

Eggman groaned in sorrow, and Knuckles cut his eyes over to him. "It's not like you didn't know that this was going to happen."

"I still had hope!"

Amy wished that Eggman now was clothed like the one on-screen. "What _other_ evil genius could the title be referring to? You're the only one!"

"…You know what? I'm taking that as a compliment."

" **Hi!" Eggman greeted with a brief wave.**

**Annoyed, Sonic asked, "What do you want?"**

" **First of all, thank you for answering the door at such a late hour." The human sounded grateful. "I realize what an inconvenience this must be-"**

" **Get to it, Eggface," Sonic cut him off.**

"Did I have some kind of accident between then and now?" Eggman grumbled to himself. Maybe he should take a small vacation until he knew he wouldn't become _that._

" **W-Well, I…I uh…" The doctor sighed. "I need your help."**

"Slam the door, me! End the episode right here, right now!"

**Sonic eyed him like he couldn't believe his ears. "You need** _**my** _ **help?"**

" **Yes! My sinister island lair – you know, the ultra-high-tech stronghold where I hatch my diabolical schemes to eliminate you – it was destroyed in the storm."**

Knuckles scoffed. "I'm calling bs on that."

"Yeah!" Tails agreed, scratching his cheek in thought. "I mean, if his lair is so technologically advanced, then a simple storm wouldn't be able to damage it!"

"His plan is janky from the start," Sonic huffed, "so I better not fall for it!"

" **I was hoping I could crash with you and Tails for a few days until my robots rebuild it? Please! Don't strand me in this wilderness!" Eggman implored.**

" **Well, you could certainly use a roof over your head," Sonic uttered before sniffing the air and scrunching his nose. "And a bath."**

Whatever comment Sonic was about to say was forgotten when he heard that last part. He barked out a laugh, and Eggman sent daggers.

"Not a _word._ "

**The blue hedgehog was suspicious however. "But how do I know that you won't just capture me and Tails while we're sleeping?"**

**Eggman put a hand over his heart. "I** _**swear** _ **not to harm you or your fox friend during my stay. I didn't even bring any weapons. Here, check my pants." He went to lift his coat.**

**Sonic waved a hand and quickly looked away. "No no no. It's okay. I believe you."**

Sonic heavily sighed. "Two things, Eggy that was beyond gross, and Tails, _please_ tell me that you're going to be the voice of reason here!"

"I hope so…" The kit was frowning at the TV. Having Eggman in their home was the last thing he wanted. Heck, they only had him as a guest now because the _thing_ didn't give them a choice…

" **So it's only for a few days and it's** _ **just**_ **you?"**

" **Just me!" Sonic gestured inside with his thumb, and Eggman ambled in…along with Orbot and Cubot. "And Orbot and Cubot. They're family!"**

**The hedgehog groaned in irritation and slammed his door.**

"And you didn't kick him out…why?" Knuckles would've shoved the human and his minions back out in the storm without any remorse.

"I've gotten too nice…" Sonic whispered, appalled, before repeating it louder. "I've gotten too nice! Shadow! Hurry and teach me your ways!"

"Shut _up_ before I shove these peas down your throat."

"Tails! Write that down for me!"

**It was now daytime, and Sonic opened his front door with a yawn. Amy, Knuckles, and a female brown badger walked in.**

"Whoa, who is that?" Amy leaned forward, narrowing her eyes at the stranger. "I've never seen her before!"

Tails wrapped his namesakes around himself to get more comfortable. "Probably just a new friend?"

"Maybe…" The pinkette mumbled. That badger _better_ just be a new friend and not a barrier between Amy and Sonic. Sonic was hers and hers only! No badger – with _questionable_ fashion sense – was going to get in her way!

Most people in the room felt the pinkette's dangerous aura, and the echidna and doctor threw her cautious looks.

**The newly arrived trio gasped in shock at the sight of Eggman stretching in pink pajamas.**

"And yet again…" Shadow stifled a yawn, needing to burn that image from his mind forever. "…I need to bleach my eyes."

Knuckles didn't know which version of the doctor was worse. Bare chested Eggman, or pink onesie Eggman. "I don't know if they're more surprised that Eggman is there period, or that he was currently a living nightmare."

"The latter probably." Sonic was utterly repulsed, but a smile still managed to grow. "Y'know Egghead, this is good blackmail!"

"I do _not_ own one of those!" Eggman opposed, squeezing his toy.

"But you will!" Sonic winked with a snicker.

" **Eggman?!" Knuckles shouted, getting into a fighting stance along with the girls.**

**The doctor waved before approaching them. "Oh, hey gang! Didn't know you'd be visiting so early. I'm still in my evil pajamas." He gestured to his rear. "They have a trapdoor in the back."**

When the screen panned down, Amy resisted the urge to gag. "And I thought it couldn't get any worse!"

Eggman shared her sentiments.

**The doctor then sat in a swinging chair. Knuckles pointed at him, clearly unhappy. "What's** _**he** _ **doing here?"**

Knuckles, enduring the visual trauma he was going through, was proud of his future self. "I haven't said anything stupid, that's one good thing that's happened so far."

"And I'm not juggling or singing!" Amy piped up. "That's good too!"

"Yet," Sonic said, and Tails quietly chuckled beside him, "None of that's happened _yet_."

**The blue hedgehog crossed his arms. "We have a truce. Tails is letting him stay here until his lair is rebuilt."**

Tails' snickers cut off, and he slumped in disappointment. "So much for me being the voice of reason…"

" **Ahem." Eggman coughed to gain their attention, raising a finger. "Still waiting on that Salmon Eggs Benedict!"**

"And I cooked for him too?!" Tails yelled in anguish, throwing his arms up. "What's _wrong_ with me?"

"To be fair Tails," Knuckles smirked down at him, bobbing his head over at a brooding Eggman, "You cooked for him today too."

"B-But-!" The kit sputtered. Then he gave up, realizing that he might need to start taking notes from Shadow as well. "Touché."

" **Coming! Coming!" An exasperated Tails brought over the plate and placed it on the table in front of the doctor.**

**Eggman leaned over and inspected the meal. He frowned at the fox. "I asked for egg** _**whites.** _ **There are yellows. See the yellow? I'm trying to watch my cholesterol. And this salmon is farm-raised! What is this, prison?"**

The human stressfully rubbed his forehead. "Either I'm a complete idiot, or the plan that on-screen me has conjured up is so _brilliant_ that I can't even-"

"Don't give yourself that much credit, Eggy," Sonic tisked.

"I wasn't _talking_ to you, rodent!"

" **It's all some evil plot, man!" The badger started, shaking Knuckles. "First he lures us in with some terrible roommate hooey, but then** _ **wham!**_ **Out comes this fifty-foot obliterator bot that obliterates us all!" She took a deep breath. "We gotta get outta here."**

Sonic whistled lowly, strangely impressed. "Wow Knux, guess we finally found someone who beats your level of paranoia."

Knuckles gritted his teeth. He wasn't that crazy! "Being protective of the emerald doesn't equal being _paranoid_ , Sonic!"

The azure hedgie tapped his chin, stretching some sore muscles. He was _so_ going to get Shadow back for this…after he healed. "Rouge told me that one time you threatened a little caterpillar-"

"That _didn't happen!_ " The embarrassed flush on the guardian's face said otherwise. "Don't believe that crook's lies!"

"What _ever_ you say, Knux." It sounded like Sonic didn't believe him at all, and Knuckles dug his fingers in the couch cushion. It had been right after an Eggman fight, and that bug had been looking at him funny…!

" **Guys." Amy's voice was calm. "We have to help him. If we don't, we'll be no better than he is."**

"Yeah, no better than the evil scientist who destroys everything in his wake!" Amy wildly gestured at the television. "I wouldn't say that! I would've wanted him out too, not have him stay! I agree with the badger! He's up to something!"

"The question is what, though…" Tails trailed off, paying apt attention to the show.

**Eggman smiled, talking around the egg and fish in his mouth. "Yeah, you'll be no better than I am."**

**Amy went up to the doctor's side, patting him compassionately on his arm. "Think about how this is for him." She gazed at the human. "Do you feel scared without a home? Do you feel alone? Are you eating your feelings?"**

Amy gaped. "Um…I think I liked me juggling and singing more. Can we go back to that…please?" Was she some sort of therapist now? Why help out _Eggman_ of all people? She _herself_ needed professional help…

**Eggman scowled, uncomfortable with this development. "Somebody get her away from me…!"**

**Tails glanced up from washing the dishes. "Guys, if Eggman needs to stay, he can stay. Who knows? He may not be so bad after all."**

**Eggman smiled.**

"Yep," Sonic said confidently, "You just jinxed us Tails." The kit just gulped audibly.

**Tails was now screwing in a bulb in the back of his plane. "Pillow fight!" Eggman came out of nowhere and hit the glass out of the fox's hand, it smashing on the floor. Tails glared at him, namesakes twitching in agitation.**

Shadow watched on in muted interest. He had a feeling that he would be thoroughly entertained at least for the next few moments.

**Eggman then was trying to whack Cubot and Orbot with his fluffy weapon while Sonic was constantly cleaning up around them.**

**That night, Eggman was sleeping on the couch while Sonic and Tails were on the floor. The man was snoring and laughing intermittently, and the anthros angrily covered their ears.**

**It was the next day. The female badger opened the fridge only to sigh sadly when she saw that the good food had been sealed off by Eggman.**

**Back to nighttime, Sonic was asleep on the floor until the feeling of feathers on his face woke him up. He barely had time to focus when he heard, "Pillow fight!" Eggman – swinging on a lamp – hurled the pillow at the hero's head. Hard.**

The ghost of a smirk appeared on Shadow's muzzle. "Now _that_ was grade A entertainment. If only the pillow had been filled with bricks."

Eggman hummed to himself. "Hm…that _was_ pretty humorous to watch…"

Tails, who had winced at that last scene, was concerned for the well-being of his brother. "That _had_ to hurt."

Sonic suddenly was glad that they didn't have any pillows in the living room.

**The sun was up once more. A grumpy Sonic and Tails were sitting on a couch in the shack with Amy occupying an empty chair.**

" **That's it!" the speedster complained loudly, "I've had enough of Eggman! Lair or no lair, he's outta here!"**

"It's about time!"

" **You can't just throw Eggman out," Amy argued, "Sure, he might be a difficult roommate, but it's only because you guys have a communication problem."**

Tails didn't understand what was happening. "Whose side are you _on_ , Amy?"

"I'm on yours!" The pinkette depended herself.

"The show is tellin' a different story, Ames." Sonic hissed under his breath when he moved the ice pack to another bruise on his body. "You went from wanting to be my sidekick to basically wanting Eggman to annoy me half to death. Hold on…" He blinked. "Is this some kind of revenge tactic?"

Amy shook her head. "I wouldn't do that! That's something a future wife would _never_ do!"

"…On second thought, keep on revenging."

" **Communication problem?" Tails echoed, flabbergasted. "He whacked me with a pillow. Hard! I'm dizzy, and I have serious short-term memory loss." There was a moment of silence. "And I have serious short-term memory loss."**

Knuckles couldn't hold his amused snort, and he was on the receiving end of the meanest glare an eight-year-old irked fox could muster.

**Amy stood up and suggested, "Why don't we settle this with a roommate meeting?"**

**Later that same day, Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot were now sitting in the seat Amy previously had. Said pinkette was beside Sonic and Tails on the couch.**

" **Now Sonic," Amy regarded the hero, talking slowly, "do you have something to say to Eggman?"**

" **Yes. How to say this delicately…" Sonic pretended to think, scratching his head. "You're a horrible roommate and nobody in this house likes you."**

The azure speedster nodded adamantly. "Couldn't have said it better myself!" Wait…did that phrase even work in this situation? Eh, he made it work.

**Amy deadpanned. "Let's frame our statements with 'When you do this, it makes me feel this.'"**

Knuckles frowned at the TV. "Amy, don't take this the wrong way, but you're getting pretty annoying." He eyed his neighbor, bracing himself for the appearance of a certain hammer, but it never came.

The girl simply huffed. "She's – I'm – No, _she's_ getting on my nerves too!"

The echidna relaxed. Crises averted.

" **Fine." Sonic sighed. "Okay, uh, let's see… 'When you live here, it makes me feel angry.' Because you're a horrible roommate and nobody likes you."**

**After a quiet moment, Eggman started crying –** and another doctor held his head in his hands – **before blubbering, "You're right. I am the worst roommate. It…I've never lived with other people before!"**

" **What about us?" Cubot questioned.**

**Eggman stopped crying to clarify, "You don't count," before resuming again.**

"We seriously _can't_ be believin' this!"

**Amy faced the blue hedgie. "Sonic, I think** _**someone** _ **here could go for two spoonfuls of forgiveness, washed down with a tall glass of friendship. What do you think?"**

**Sonic frowned, but thought about her words anyway. "Ugh." he eventually gave in. "Eggman, if we give you a second chance, will you promise to shape up?"**

The blue Mobian facepalmed. "This is _crazy_. Okay, guys." Sonic strained to sit up; his bruises were begging for him to lay back down, but no. He had to speak his mind before it exploded. "I know I said that this might be our future, but I'm startin' to doubt that because I _refuse_ to believe-"

"Then what in the heck do you think we're watching?" Knuckles furrowed his brow. "A show that was impossibly created? I almost rather have it be our futures because if it _was_ a show, then what we're seeing is what other people think we act like. I'm _not_ an idiot."

"And I'm not a singing therapist who juggles on the side!" Amy added heatedly.

Shadow stretched his relaxed muscles out more on the sofa. "Why don't we just ask the stupid thing that brought us all he-" The striped hedgehog sucked in a harsh breath when the bag of peas was yanked out of his hand and thrown across the room by an unseen force. "…I was using that." His voice was a tad strained.

"Don't call it names, Shadow!" Tails admonished, suddenly nervous.

Eggman disregarded the scene that just happened. He was safe as long as he watched what he said, a trait that all hedgehogs seemed to lack. The doctor went back to what Shadow had been saying. "Shadow has a point. There's no reason to _guess_ when we can ask."

"For once, that's a good idea." Sonic paid no attention to the man's glare. The hero cleared his throat and held his ice pack tighter. You know, just in case. "So uh… _thing_ , what exactly are we watchin' here? Is it some kind of actual TV show, or is it our futures?"

Everyone scanned the room, searching for any hints or answers. There was nothing for a long while, and they were about to give up until the lights flickered once…twice…three times. None of them were surprised that the _thing_ could mess with the electricity.

Sonic was amazed. If he was honest, he didn't think he would've gotten a response. Then he was confused. "Three? But I didn't give a third option!"

"But maybe there is one?" Tails proposed, wracking his brain. "That we haven't thought about? If they aren't actors and if they aren't us in some distant future…then maybe they _are_ us but…they are from a different dimension?" It was the only thing he could think of. "Something like where Blaze came from?"

Eggman stroked his mustache, pondering this. "It's very much possible…"

Shadow rolled his eyes, inwardly yearning for the coolness of the bag again. "Anything's possible in this funhouse."

"Huh." Sonic blinked, zeroing in on the paused screen. "That's kinda trippy."

"If that's true, then it'll be _way_ less painful to watch." Knuckles commented before smirking at the brothers. "Since _you_ two weren't the ones being harassed, that pillow fight scene was kind of funny, now that I look back on it."

"I mean…I still feel _bad_ for them." _But it does explain the drastic change in personalities,_ Tails thought.

Amy nodded at the kit. "Losing sleep isn't fun."

"It's not our problem anymore, now is it?" Eggman humphed as he rolled the ball around on his leg. "However, it does bring up the question of _why_ we're watching them!"

Sonic gingerly reacquainted with the floor. "It's a gut feeling, but I don't think the _thing_ is gonna answer that one. Keep it rollin', Ames."

**Eggman ceased his sobbing and snapped his fingers. "You bet!"**

**Amy stood up and opened her arms wide. "Roommate meeting group hug!"**

"Um…" Tails was uncomfortable saying this. "Does that Amy have a thing for Eggman, or…?"

Amy was shocked into a disgusted silence, and Eggman was green in the face.

"For the sake of my sanity," Sonic wished that he hadn't heard that. Now there were _images_ in his head-! "Let's say that she's just overly friendly."

**The doctor hugged all of them and when Orbot and Cubot tried to join, he growled, "Not you!" The robots slumped.**

**The next morning, Sonic yawned while he walked by Eggman doing the dishes, but he paused when the man started singing. "Scrubbing all the dishes, with my sponge and soap! Scrubbing all the dishes, it's cleaning up my hope! Cue the horn!" he yelled into the scrubber like a microphone.**

Sonic's ears were plastered against his head. "I want to tell other me to kick Eggman out just so he doesn't have to endure his singing!" He glanced over to the doctor. "Eggy, _please_ keep your voice to yourself, thank you."

"You don't need to worry about me, cactus." The human _did_ have a reputation to uphold, unlike the one on-screen…

**While Eggman was prettying up a house plant, Tails was on a nearby couch, leaning on a pillow and examining a device. The doctor picked up the pillow and raised it like he was going to hit the kit. Tails threw him a suspicious look, but Eggman just fluffed it and returned it to its place with a smile.**

This was too good to be true. Amy was bouncing her knee up and down. "Eggman's up to something…"

"Definitely!" Tails agreed. It didn't matter if he was in a different place; Eggman was still Eggman. He was _never_ that nice.

**Nighttime. Eggman, Sonic, Tails, and the small robots were playing a board game.**

" **Thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine… Triple star bonus kazoo!" The man blew a kazoo, startling the mammalian duo. "I win again!"**

**A visually tired Sonic yawned. "That's great. Well, it's getting late. Time to hit the hay."**

" **Aww, just one more game?" Eggman tried to convince the reluctant brothers. "That's what good roomies do. We have fun!"**

"If anyone, not just Eggman, bothers me in the middle of the night to play _games_ , they're getting punched in the face," Knuckles muttered.

Sonic knew that better than anybody.

" **I'm all for fun, but aren't you guys exhausted?" Sonic turned to the red and yellow bots. "Orbot? Cubot?"**

" **They're robots!" Eggman gestured at them. "They don't get tired, because they have no souls."**

The quilled hero scoffed. Try convincing Metal Sonic that.

"Hey, why isn't _Eggman_ getting tired?" Amy pointed out, "He's the most energetic one there!"

"He must've drank tons of coffee," Tails mused.

Eggman didn't respond to them. He was starting to see what his other self was planning. Again, he wouldn't have _ever_ done it this way – the man on-screen was thinking unnecessarily way beyond the box – it was somewhat clever nonetheless, if he ignored the irritating and degrading quirks.

" **Hey!" Orbot angrily cried out while Cubot sighed. "He's right…"**

**Sonic gave a fleeting wave as he headed for the front door. "Whatever. Good night, guys."**

**Eggman quickly blocked his way. "Wait! Don't leave! Just hang out a little longer. I'm so lonely!" He then begged. "Please, roomie?"**

**Sonic exhaled deeply before turning around, obvious bags under his eyes.**

"Just push him outta the way! When he rolls away, cut and run!"

"Roll?! I won't _roll_ , rodent!"

"Could've fooled me." Eggman hurled the smiley stress ball at one of Sonic's purple splotches and grinned victoriously when the speedster groaned in pain. The man then frowned. He really didn't feel like getting the toy again. He really should've thought that through…it was still worth it.

" **Yay!" Eggman cheered happily, blowing his kazoo once more.**

**Late in the night now, the boys were watching television.**

" _ **We now return to the Comedy Chimp Show, with your host, Comedy Chimp!"**_

"I've never heard of him before…" Amy mumbled thoughtfully. It could be because they were in an alternate dimension, but he could've still existed, right?

" _ **I almost didn't make it to the show tonight. I had to go to the doctor. I had a backache!"**_

" _That's_ why. He's horrible." Knuckles scratched his cheek, lips twitching downwards. "Was that supposed to be a joke? Hopefully he doesn't stick around like that annoying beaver."

Sonic scoffed. "Yeah, I swear if I would've heard another 'Actually' from him, I would've broken something."

"Like his neck."

"Whoa Shads, your murder is showing."

**Eggman cackled at the 'joke' while Sonic and Tails looked miserable, their bags more prominent.**

" _ **I didn't really like that doctor anyway. I think he used to be a mechanic! He tried to fix my problem with a monkey wrench!"**_

Sonic gave a thumb's down. "Boo!"

**Another voice chimed in as Eggman basically shook the borderline unconscious duo awake.** _**"Oh ho! You, my friend, are one witty simian!"** _

**A lengthy yawn escaped Sonic's mouth.**

**Morning came. Knuckles, Amy, and the badger let themselves in.**

" **You're** _ **still**_ **hanging with Eggman?" the echidna questioned, "How many hours of sleep did you get?"**

**Sonic held his head in his hands, mumbling out, "Zero…"**

"Ah ha!" Tails snapped his fingers when a lightbulb went off. "I see-"

"That a sleepy Sonic is _so_ adorable?" Amy cooed, smiling softly.

"No…?" The fox looked at her strangely before shaking his head. "I see what Eggman's scheme is!"

Eggman grunted. "It was about _time_ , fox boy. It was obvious." He looked away from the kid when he puffed his cheeks in agitation. "Sleep depriving heroes in order to successfully strike. Even though he could've gotten the same result by just _trapping_ them…"

Sonic smirked at him. "Oh yeah? And how many times has that worked out for _you_ , Egghead?"

When Eggman glared, Knuckles tisked. "You walked right into that o-" His words died off when the sound of a ball bouncing grabbed all of his focus. Multiple pairs of eyes drifted to watch a smiley stress ball roll across the floor. Their gazes then shifted to the hedgehog who had dropped the ball. Shadow was fast asleep on the sofa, breathing evenly.

"Guess he _really_ needed his beauty sleep, huh?" Sonic joked. He would go over there, but he liked his limbs attached to his body.

"…Should we wake him up?"

Knuckles gave Tails a pointed look. "That's the equivalent of saying 'Should we poke that feral tiger?' Let's leave him be until he shows up in the episode, _if_ he does."

" **It's stage two of his evil plot, man!" The badger danced nervously on her toes. "We are minutes away from him summoning his big obliterator bot with its…obliterator legs! And its obliterator teeth!"**

" **Sticks…"**

"Sticks?" Tails repeated, leaning back on his arms. "That's an interesting name."

"It fits her!" Amy was over her little spell – maybe she could pay Eggman to keep Sonic up one night – and she gave the badger a once-over. "Just look at her! Looks like she just came from the jungle or something!"

"She does look a little uh…" Sonic struggled for the right word. "…dusty. More than Knuckles is."

"Don't make me throttle you, Sonic. The _thing_ didn't mind Shadow beating the crap out of you, so it should mind me either."

That got Sonic thinking. He could've been protected from being hurt, but he wasn't! What was up with that? He hadn't done anything wrong to it!

…Sonic had a bad feeling that the _thing_ had laughed at his pain.

**Amy got closer to Sticks, hands on her hips. "Stop being paranoid!" Eggman was leaving the room in the background. "Eggman's lived here for two days, and he hasn't hatched a single evil scheme!"**

Tails frowned at that. Had the other him dumbed down too? Why hadn't he spotted Eggman's plan beforehand? Why was this random girl the first to figure it out? Granted, she probably didn't know that she was right, but still…

**They all were then distracted when hearty laugh came from outside. Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks filed out quickly while Tails and Sonic were a little slow on the uptake.**

" **What's so funny…?" Unfocused sapphires trained on Eggman as Tails dragged his feet.**

" **Remember when I said my island fortress was destroyed by a storm?" Eggman jumped down from the rock he was standing on. "I…uh…may have fibbed." He sneered, walking in front of the group. "You see, I kind of faked the destruction of my fortress as an excuse to live with you and tire you to the point of exhaust-" Seeing that Sonic was falling asleep on his feet, Eggman slapped him awake. "Tire you to the point of exhaustion!" The human ran over to a nearby tree. "So you'd be too tired to stop Obliterator Bot!"**

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter _what_ dimension you're in," Sonic returned the ice pack to his face, sending Eggman a jeering smile, "You always _love_ to explain your plans, huh Eggy?"

Eggman glowered. "If I had that ball I would hit you again with it!"

"There's a lot of holes in his plan though…" Knuckles pointed out, "Or at least one _big_ one. He didn't even care about me, Amy, or the badger. Amy and I could _easily_ take down some stupid robot."

Sonic shrugged. "So he didn't think things all the way through. What else is new?"

The human crossed his arms. "I would say my hatred of you, but that's been there since day _one!_ "

**Eggman jumped out of the way when that tree toppled over, revealing a large red robot much bigger than Burnbot.**

Amy flipped her quills over her shoulder. "Yeah, we can definitely take it down! We've dealt with worse!"

**Eggman smugly giggled while Sticks started to freak out. "I knew it. He** _**did** _ **have an Obliterator Bot! Why doesn't anyone ever believe me?!" She grabbed Amy's shoulders and shook her. "It's not like I'm paranoid!" She then glared at her shadow. "Stop** _**following** _ **me!"**

Tails slowly blinked. "Does she not know how…shadows work, or…?"

"She probably doesn't." Knuckles huffed. "Like she doesn't know to ever stop _yelling._ Her voice is harsh enough as is."

"Knuckles, that was rude!" Amy admonished, "Say you're sorry!"

_Tch. As if._ "She can't hear me, Amy." When a hammer materialized right in front of his face, he suddenly had a change of heart. "I may have been too harsh…"

Amy nodded victoriously before putting her weapon away.

" **Enough!" Eggman yelled, "Obliterator Bot, destroy Sonic and his four friends!"**

" **For…tress?" The bot misheard. "Fortress. Destroy fortress. Destroy island fortress."**

**Eggman began to panic, tinkering with his wrist controller. "What? No! That's not what I said!"**

**Orbot and Cubot poked their heads out of the door. "We're still working out a few kinks," the former bot said.**

Sonic barked out a laugh. "They didn't have to _do_ anything this time for your plan to blow up! Eggster, if you made thwarting your plans that easy, here's a tip, just retire!"

Eggman didn't deem that statement was worthy of a response. He would retire as _soon_ as he took over the world. No sooner.

**The doctor was clinging onto the huge robot's leg as it walked. "Obliterator Bot! Do not destroy island fortress. Do not destroy island fortress!"**

" **Affirmative. Playing up-tempo music while destroying fortress." Speakers popped out of the mech's shoulders, producing loud music.**

"Why would he even…?"

"Tails, don't question it," Knuckles advised, "Save your breath."

**The robot stepped over a drowsy Sonic, who was watching it go. "** _**No!** _ **" Eggman ran over to the hedgehog. "Sonic, you have to help me!"**

" **Why?" He crossed his arms. "He's your Obliterator Bot."**

**The doctor swiftly explained, "Because if you don't, I'm truly stuck living with you until I build a new island fortress."**

"Not if you just leave him in the _streets!_ " Sonic exclaimed, "What's so hard about that?"

"He's too nice, remember?" Tails chuckled, "And he doesn't have a nearby Shadow to take notes from, well, yet."

**Sonic instantly perked up and made a fist. "Let's roll."**

Amy pursed her lips as the scene changed. She and Knuckles would've attacked the thing before it left! Why didn't their counterparts do that? They were _so_ weird.

**Outside Eggman's lair, Tails landed his plane while Eggman parked his hovercraft. Obliterator Bot was brutally attacking the fortress's roof.**

**They all left their vehicles. "Gotta stop him…but so…tired…" Tails muttered before slumping to the ground and falling asleep.**

**Knuckles ignored those two, focusing on the bot. "He must have a weak spot!"**

" **Maybe there's a clue on the ground…" Sonic pointed downwards before sinking to his knees. "This soft…soft…bedlike ground…"**

Amy squealed happily at his sleepy state, giggling, and Sonic knew that he couldn't let himself even get _tired_ around her, like ever. She might pounce if he did, and he liked living.

**Sticks went over to stomp on Sonic, who woke up at the harsh treatment. "What? What's wrong? Are we under attack?" The hedgehog jumped to his feet as his memory kicked in. He yawned. "Oh…right."**

**Knuckles turned to the human. "Eggman, you built that thing. How do we take it down?"**

"Alright, I don't get it." The guardian's brow creased. "Last episode, he-" He was so glad that he could separate himself from that beefy and airheaded echidna on-screen. "-was an idiot. But now he's…I wouldn't say _smart_ , but…"

"It had to have been the steroids, Knux!" Sonic said with a snicker, "They enlarged his muscles but shrunk his brain."

"I _told_ you, he's not-!" Knuckles paused his angered retort. He didn't have to defend the other anymore. He wasn't _him_ , and well, all signs did point to the use of some kind of drug. The other him was _so_ disproportionate that it wasn't natural. "But then again, he might. Look at him, does he _intentionally_ skip leg day?"

Sonic burst out laughing. "Roastin' yourself, Knucklehead? That's a new low! When's the last time _you_ did some squats?"

A tick formed on the guardian's forehead and he grumbled under his breath about hedgehogs that _refused_ to shut up.

" **By activating two kill switches at the same time. They're inside the lair." Eggman walked forward and pointed to his right. "There…" Then he pointed to his left. "And there."**

" **Oh, come on…" Sonic groaned. "Alright, Amy, Knuckles, Sticks, distract that metal monstrosity." He picked up Tails by his arm. "Tails and I are on the kill switches. Eggman, you'll have to show us how to activate them." The human nodded.**

**Amy stepped forward and opened up her arms. "Pre-mission group hug?"**

**Sonic rose a hand to stop her. "No." He took off.**

"Be persistent, other me!" Amy was disappointed that there wasn't a hug, but it passed quickly. Both Sonics weren't at that point yet. "You'll get him eventually!"

"Not in this lifetime," Sonic whispered to himself, relieved that the him in the show was on the same wavelength. Though it seemed easier for that Sonic. The other Amy wasn't as uh… _direct_ in her approaches.

**The sleepy speedster zoomed through the laser defense system, running on the wall. Lasers shot at and missed him. Tails flew over to a control panel and pressed a power switch, deactivating a laser wall in front of Sonic. The hedgie then barely dodged two hot beams, losing his footing.**

**Sleep caught up to him as he slid. The laser wall he was about to collide into disappeared, and he woke back up when he lost his momentum. "Ugh…"**

Amy was smiling too wide, and Knuckles was becoming a bit worried. "Do you need to spend some time in the kitchen to calm yourself down?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine! He's just too cute! Don't you think?"

Knuckles could've barfed.

**Tails opened up a panel filled with wires, but he was too exhausted to figure them out. Sonic approached a closed door, but he didn't make it in favor of snoring on the ground. Tails pressed a button that revealed the kill switches.**

**Eggman stomped over to Sonic, the hero startling awake. "Jam the kinetic barrier processor. The kinetic barrier processor!" Sonic threw him a confused look and pulled the lever. The human ran over to Tails, ordering, "Okay, power down the central operating system."**

**The doctor grabbed a tired Tails' hand and put it around the switch. On the other side, Sonic had slumped to the ground, letting the lever go.**

"Why can't Eggman just…hold one of the switches?"

No one answered Tails because they couldn't think of _why_ that Eggman couldn't. Relying on barely conscious heroes wasn't the smartest thing.

**Outside, Obliterator Bot cut off a part of the fortress before dropping to the ground. Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks ran up to it.**

" **I knew you were coming." The badger growled, pointing at the robot. "But you will never obliterate Sticks, because Sticks is unoblit – unoble – unobitababl…" She gave up, stating proudly, "You can't kill me."**

Amy snickered. At least she tried.

Knuckles was less amused. "Well, she's definitely going to be a reoccurring person."

"She's _way_ better than that beaver," Tails pointed out. She was borderline crazy, sure, but she wasn't blatantly annoying.

"She's got spunk." Sonic grinned. "A necessity for someone on Team Sonic!"

"Spunk?" Knuckles snorted. "She's going to fight the bot with a boomerang! She's insane."

"To each his own."

" **Jam the kinetic barrier processor!" Eggman frantically shouted to a sleeping Sonic. The hedgie popped up and yanked the lever, but he almost immediately dozed off again. Tails was out of commission as well. Eggman glanced back and forth between them before taking out and blowing into his kazoo.**

**Sonic and Tails instantly woke up and pulled the kill switches, which caused Obliterator Bot to shut down. The speedster raced outside with a slab of discarded metal. He jumped up in the air and yelled, "Pillow fight!" before knocking the robot's head off. It promptly exploded.**

"It only took one hit?" Tails tilted his head. "Maybe that Eggman doesn't have as much experience or something?"

Sonic rolled his eyes. "That was a compliment to _our_ Eggman, Tails! We can't his ego grow any bigger than it already is!"

The human's 'stache flared. "It doesn't matter how much mine grows, because it'll _never_ match up to your oversized arrogance!"

The azure anthro scratched his nose with a smile. "You're right, Eggman! Thanks!"

"That was supposed to be an _insult_ you little-!"

" **Yes!" Eggman cheered. When his fortress blew up anyway, he slouched. "No…!"**

Amy was twirling one of her quills. "So…that was all for nothing?"

"I'm not even surprised," Knuckles murmured.

**Sometime later, Sonic and his crew were peacefully sitting on the beach. Eggman scampered up behind them with suitcases.**

" **Hey fellas. As you know, my fortress is now a smoking ruin, so I was wondering maybe…" He plopped down into a reclining chair. "If I would stay with you guys for a little while? Just until it's built back?"**

**Sonic ran back to Eggman's lair, dropping off the doctor, the chair, and the suitcases. He sprinted away without a single word.**

"Yes! That was perfect!" Sonic praised. He would applaud, but his body wasn't ready for that yet. "The nice streak is over!"

Eggman just shook his head, appalled. His double really needed help.

Tails flicked his bangs out of his face. "Now let's just hope that they don't fall for it again."

"If they do, they're completely helpless," Knuckles uttered as he plucked one of the many loose threads on his mitt off. He weakly glared at the sleeping striped hedgehog. He owed him new gloves.

**Amy, Orbot, and Cubot sauntered up. The pinkette was holding a balloon. "I can keep you company! Let's explore your feelings about being a roommate. Now, pretend this balloon is your self-esteem."**

" **Stop, stop!" Eggman jumped to his feet and ran away screaming, "Stooooooooop!"**

_Same, Eggman. Same._ Sonic felt oddly empathetic.

"I really don't get her!" Amy complained. "Why does she want to be a therapist to _badly_?"

The red echidna stretched in his seat, gently cracking a couple bones. "Only she knows." He kinda wanted to go outside to get some fresh air, but the _thing_ – he halted his train of thought right there. The peas had been hurled across the room; he could be next if he wasn't careful.

"That's what she wants to do when she grows up?" Tails guessed with a shrug, giggling, "Along with entertaining the masses with her… _other_ talents."

Eggman tapped his slipper-less foot on the floor. "Enough of that pink menace." He felt the heat of Amy's glare. "Let's move on so I can get out of here as soon as possible."

Sonic clicked his tongue, eyes swiveling over to the man. "Leave the impatience to me, Egghead!" He refocused on the television. "But yeah, we can plow through." He read the title of the next episode. "'Translate This'? That can be about anything!"

"Well, let's figure it out!" Amy pressed play on the remote, but nothing happened. She frowned, perplexed. "Huh?" She tried it again and again. "It's not working!"

Knuckles grabbed the remote from her and rapidly jabbed the right button. "Come on! You're already keeping us in here, at least _work_ for us!"

Tails' attention drifted from the echidna to the striped anthro. He swallowed thickly. "Uh guys…I think I might know why it won't play."

"What is it? Spit it out, bud," Sonic prompted him.

Tails gestured over to the sleeping Shadow. "Maybe the _thing_ thinks that missing half of an episode is enough…"

"…So we need to wake him up?" Amy asked hesitantly, somewhat fearing the answer.

As if he was hearing their conversation, Shadow softly snored before turning over, his back to them now. He then curled up into a ball, his sharp spines protruding out in many directions.

"Eh…" Sonic shook his head. "Let's give him a few minutes."


	4. Chapter 4

Those few minutes turned into about thirty.

Most of that time was spent debating who would wake the Ultimate Sleepyhead.

Eventually – with a lot of begging and games of rock-paper-scissors later – Tails realized that life was so unfair. The fox's namesakes were twitching erratically as he bit his lip, unsure sapphires looking down at Shadow on the couch. He was an arm's length away from the sleeping 'hog. Tails peered over his shoulder at Sonic sitting on the floor. His brother gave him a reassuring thumbs up. Tails didn't feel any better.

Thinking about it though, Tails guessed that he _was_ the best candidate for the job, no matter how he felt about it. Eggman was an obvious no, because the _thing_ wanted everyone to watch the show. The doctor couldn't do that if he was dead. Knuckles and Sonic were better choices than Eggman, but…still bad. Shadow wouldn't kill them – most likely – however, there will be injuries, and the living room would be beyond saving. Tails was surprised that the rivals' earlier tussle hadn't left the space in shambles.

Amy would've been a good candidate if Tails didn't think that Shadow was a firm believer in equal rights. From what the kit saw of the striped hedgie in the field, Shadow didn't care want gender you were, he was going to _hit_.

So…Tails just hoped the guy had a soft spot for kids.

The young anthro took a steady breath, steeling himself, and avoided the potentially sharp quills to nudge Shadow's shoulder. Tails _swore_ that he hadn't touched the striped one yet, but apparently he had. For what _other_ reason would he be suddenly on the floor with a scowling hedgehog straddling him with a fist raised ready to break his nose? Yeah, he couldn't think of one either.

Tails held his hands up to protect his face, squeaking, "Please don't punch me, I'm a growing boy!" When he didn't receive a response – or blossoming pain, to his relief – the fox meekly peeked through his fingers to see Shadow's still drowsy eyes on him. The hedgie blinked a couple of times as if remembering where he was, and irritation replaced the homicide in his expression.

Shadow leaned back and lowered his fist. Rubies narrowed down at the kid. "What you did was a mistake, fox."

Tails nodded, swallowing the golf ball-sized lump in his throat. "I'm uh…fully aware of that." He then realized that he was still basically pinned to the floor. "Can you…get off me now?"

Shadow ignored him. He blinked a couple more times to get rid of the tired fog lingering in his mind. The rodent's not-so-happy gaze swept the room because he knew that it wasn't Tails' _genius_ idea to wake him up. Shadow locked eyes with Sonic because no matter what, it was _always_ the faker.

His voice was rough as he growled, "Who in the _hell_ gave you the idea to disrupt my _-"_

Sonic held his hands up innocently. The dull ache of his bruises had gone down somewhat. "It wasn't me this time, Shads! We all got the idea from…" The blue hedgehog gestured to nothing in particular. "…the _thing._ "

"Yeah um…" Shadow snapped his focus back on Tails, who was wringing his fingers together. "The episode you fell asleep on finished, and we couldn't keep going until you woke up!"

Shadow bit his tongue to keep from spouting out rather… _interesting_ words that the _thing_ surely wouldn't appreciate. He stiffly stood up, giving the kit space. He kept all thoughts and actions as leashed as he could, gathering his discarded stress ball – it was a necessity at this point to keep him sane – and the still chilled bag of peas that he'd been unfairly separated from.

Inwardly seething, the striped hedgie collapsed back on the couch, sinking into the cushion. One hand held the peas up to his black eye, and the other attacked the ball like it was the sole reason Maria had died. He didn't bother laying down again, knowing that he'd unintentionally nod off.

Everyone was looking at him; he kept his lips sealed and glared at the TV.

Tails put a hand on his rapidly beating heart as he sat up, feeling like he'd just run a marathon. "For a second there, my life flashed before my eyes…"

"I don't doubt it…" Amy released a breath that she didn't know she was holding. She had learned something today. While depriving Sonic of sleep would be adorable, doing the same to Shadow just might put you six feet under.

Sonic cheekily grinned at the grumpy 'hog. He struggled to get on his feet, some bruises pulling uncomfortably. He made sure to grab the ice pack. The azure speedster approached the now roomy couch and plopped down onto it beside Shadow, reveling on how soft it was compared to the floor. He then patted the spot next to him, raising a questioning brow at Tails.

The fox was looking at him like he was insane – he couldn't be surprised though. Sonic always barreled into life-threatening situations without a second thought – but he joined his brother anyway. Sonic was a barrier between Shadow and the kit, so he was moderately safe.

"It's nice to see that you've worked on your self-control, Shads!" Sonic chirped, nudging his darker furred neighbor. No one knew if he was mocking or being genuine or both…probably both. "Impressive! Though, you could've started a little earlier…" he muttered, placing the ice on one of the purple splotches on his knee.

There was no verbal response from Shadow. He simply crushed the ball with his trembling fingers.

Sonic opened his mouth to comment how rude it was to ignore people, and Knuckles jumped in before someone had to call emergency services. "Let's just get the show on the road now that Shadow's awake." He held up the remote in his possession and frowned when a couple strands fell off his gloves. He had bring this up. "Oh and Shadow, you owe me new gloves."

Those molten scarlets snapped over to him, and Knuckles suddenly tensed, ready to duck for cover if that smiley stress ball became a deadly projectile. "I don't owe you anything, echidna," Shadow hissed, calculating each word and wondering if the guardian had a death wish. He was too tired for this. " _You_ decided to intervene."

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Because if I hadn't, Sonic would've been out cold-"

" _Thanks_ for the confidence, Knux!"

"-and we would've had to wait _longer_ for him to wake up."

Shadow's quills bristled and began to shred the cushion behind them. Tails grieved for the state of his furniture. "We're waiting _now_ because you won't press _play!_ "

Knuckles knew that the other had a point, but still… "They're really cheap at the thrift shop, so when we're freed-"

"I swear if you don't play it, I will shove this ball _so_ far up your-"

"Playing."

**The bright overhead sun shone down on an occupied sandy beach. Under a large umbrella were Sonic and Amy, relaxing in lounge chairs. Nearby, Sticks and Knuckles were playing volleyball.**

Sonic pointed at the screen. "You were right, Knux! Sticks _is_ gonna show up pretty often!" The speedster then regarded a rigid Shadow. "The badger's name is Sticks; we learned that when you were sleeping – oh wait! You don't know what happened at the end of the last episode!"

"Faker, I don't _care._ " The venom in his voice was enough to kill an elephant, and maybe even Big the cat. "So shut up."

The azure rodent wasn't fazed at all by his standoffish behavior, more than used to it. "Aw Shads. Deep down, I know that you-" He didn't get to finish his sentence for Shadow had ripped the bag of cool peas open and poured a gratuitous amount down Sonic's throat. The blue hero hacked the deadly vegetables back up in order to breathe, them being spat onto the floor. "Gah, Shadow!" He wheezed. "I could've _died!_ "

Shadow snatched the unguarded ice pack and leaned it against his eye. "Good."

Sonic was too busy coughing to properly reclaim his property. "M-My ice!"

"My peas…" Tails whined as he stood up, staring longingly at the empty ripped bag laying on the floor. "So much for trying to eat healthy…" he murmured to himself as he picked it up, trying to avoid stepping on the peas. "I'll get you another pack, Sonic." He would get clean the peas later because he _knew_ that those wouldn't be the only mess on the floor by the end of this.

"Thanks – _gak!_ – lil bro!"

Knuckles let out a long-winded sigh. "We aren't even ten seconds in…" He glanced over at a slightly concerned Amy. "Don't be surprised if Sonic ends up dead before we get to leave."

Amy didn't want that. Marrying a corpse was probably illegal and highly looked down upon. "It's like no matter where they are, they always mess with each other! Can't they-" And by they, she meant Shadow, "-act civil for once?"

"No." Knuckles grunted. "It's physically impossible for them."

Over on the other side of the pajama-clad pinkette was Eggman, and he was rubbing his temples. He felt a migraine coming on. They were never going to leave this place and he was going to go insane. He could see the headlines now, _'Dr. Eggman gone mental because of overexposure to just as crazy hedgehogs'_. Chaos, help him.

When Tails returned with ice, he saw Sonic about to throw a pea at Shadow's face. The kit hurriedly shuffled over and shoved the pack into his brother's hands. Sonic smiled appreciatively at him as he sat down, dropping the mini projectile. Sometimes, just sometimes, Tails wished that Sonic had more common sense.

" **There's nothing like a lazy day on the beach," Sonic uttered happily, his fingers linked behind his head. The brown volleyball bounced towards Amy, so she put down the book she had been reading to throw it back.**

**Sticks caught it and released a content sigh. "It's nice to breathe in that beautiful saltwater air and relax. For the first time, I feel totally stress-free."**

"Don't doubt it." Knuckles absently tossed the remote up and down. "Last time, she was a total nutcase."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Not _total_. More like half."

Tails shook his head. Definitely more than that. "Two-thirds?"

She snapped her fingers at him, nodding in affirmation. "Yeah! Two-thirds a nutcase."

" **Hey guys!" Tails greeted off screen.**

**Sticks shrieked and crouched low, freaking out because of the sudden voice.**

Sonic chuckled. That was _totally_ Knuckles. He wondered if the other echidna acted the same way around that glorified rock of his.

**The kit was pushing something covered with a tan cloth forward. "I just perfected my most brilliant invention yet." He gestured to the blanketed object. "Meet UT, the Universal Translator." Tails threw the cloth off to reveal a robot with two dishes extending from its head. "Designed to translate any language into our own!"**

"That's actually pretty cool!" Amy leaned forward in her seat. "You could go anywhere without a language barrier!"

Tails nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! I don't know why I haven't thought of that yet! Just think of all the cool stuff I could learn from different professors now that nothing's lost in translation…!"

Sonic patted his stomach. "And it would be _so_ much easier to order those delicious dumplings from Chu-nan." He imagined chowing down one those delectable treats, and he knew that those were the first things he was going to eat after being freed.

"It isn't that difficult to find a translator in different countries," Shadow grunted, not understanding the hype. "What makes you think that a _robot_ is better than the people that actually are bilingual?"

"A _robot_ wouldn't be a buzzkill!" Sonic huffed. "Would it kill ya to compliment somebody?"

"Yes."

**Sonic, Sticks, and Amy silently blink at the bot, unimpressed.**

"Harsh crowd, aren't they?" Knuckles frowned. At least Sonic should be hyping up his little brother. Maybe that Tails has had too many busts in the past? That was the only explanation he could think of.

" **Allow me to demonstrate." Tails directed his friends' attention to a bird nest. The mother bird was feeding her young.**

**The Universal Translator observed the avians before turning to the heroes. "'The fact that you pre-chew my food is repulsive.'"**

Tails' eyes sparkled. "That just became ten times cooler! It can translate _any_ kind of verbal communication? I _seriously_ have to put this on my list of inventions!"

Despite his excitement, Amy was looking a bit green in the face. "Didn't you hear what the baby bird said though? It is _really_ disgusting if you think about it."

Sonic tapped his chin. "Do you guys think that the Babylon Rogues-"

Knuckles inwardly gagged. He did _not_ want the picture of Mobian birds spitting mushy food into each other's mouths. Oh _dammit_. Too late. "No, we don't _want_ to think that."

" **Hey!" Knuckles chuckled in awe. "It works!"**

**UT translated it as, "'Didn't see that one coming.'"**

"It does _thoughts_ too?!" Tails exclaimed.

"Interesting…" Eggman commented, actually intrigued about this piece of machinery. If used right in the care of an evil mastermind like himself, he could potentially plan for any attack the heroes come up with before they even struck! Eggman would have to modify the one shown on screen of course, but it had potential. Too bad that the other doctor was going to screw it up somehow. "Looks like you're not as smart as you think you are, fox. How did this version of you that allows _sleepovers_ come up with it before you did?"

Instead of feeling insulted, Tails pulled from the many years of hanging around Sonic and his witty comebacks to say, "How did _you_ , the man who basically lives off making robots, not think of this before? Is the other me smarter than _you_?"

Sonic barked out a laugh while Eggman growled, a vein pulsing in his forehead. "I would throw you this ice pack for your burn Eggy, but I kinda need it."

Eggman angrily pointed. "You'll see…you'll all see! When I destroy you, you'll regret ever taunting me!"

Sonic waved him off. "If that's what helps you sleep at night."

**Knuckles scratched his head. "Um…it's still talking?"**

"' **I thought this thing only translated birds,'" UT added on.**

" **Since what you're saying doesn't need to be translated," Tails proudly explained, "UT is translating it into what you really mean!"**

"' **I didn't intend for it to do that,'" UT uttered, "'but I will gladly accept full credit.'"**

Tails snickered at that. "Of course he gets full credit, accident or not! He made a pretty awesome bot. I have to step my game up!"

" **That's great, Tails!" Amy complimented, but something was off with her tone.**

**UT called her out on it. "'Pretty lame.'"**

Amy gasped, shocked. "What is she talking about? It's like having the power to read peoples' minds! _I_ think it's special!"

"That Amy is pretty critical," Knuckles stated, "Which is ironic because she practically was all over Eggman last episode."

"Don't say it like that!" Both the pinkette and doctor yelled out.

Now very aware that she was beside said man, Amy quickly hopped out of her seat and motioned for Knuckles to slide over. "Scoot!"

The echidna creased his brow. "But I don't want-"

"Scoot over or so help me-!" She suddenly screeched, and Knuckles silently obeyed, having forgotten how crazy this girl could get sometimes. And how bad her hammer hurt. Amy beamed at him before sitting back down. "Thanks!"

**Amy was starting to sweat. "That's…not what I was thinking at all!"**

"' **Man, I am totally busted.'"**

**She was not amused. "Tails? I think that it needs some more work."**

"' **If that thing doesn't shut its metal trap, I think I might die.'"**

Sonic had a devious smile on his face. "Oh man, wouldn't that thing be _great_ for pranks? Or finding out embarrassing secrets to blackmail with? For example, Shads here." Shadow wanted to block out his rival's words, but Sonic was right _there_ so it was basically impossible. "What if when he says, 'I am the Ultimate Lifeform, fear me', he really means 'I just farted and I actually need all of you to clear the area'."

Shadow went from being exasperated because of Sonic's horrible impression of him to being mortified as the room was filled with snickers. "What the hell?" He snarled, which contrasted the embarrassed flush of his cheeks. "I would _never-_ "

"Everyone passes gas pal!" Sonic patted the other on his shoulder. "Even Ultimate Lifeforms!"

"Move your hand if you want to keep your arm."

Sonic wisely ceased contact. "I'm just sayin' Shads! It's a natural thing!"

Eggman was the only one not laughing, this new topic making him imagine a situation he did _not_ want to be in. "While you're joking around, rodent, if one of us was indeed…bubbly, then we are _trapped_ in here with _it!"_

The azure hedgie's smile dropped, and the laughter faded away as the doctor's words sunk in. Sonic then thrusted a finger in the direction of the bathroom. "If anyone needs to rip a nasty one, go to the bathroom and hopefully the _thing_ isn't sadistic enough to let us choke on the fumes…!"

"Death by flatulence." Knuckles scrunched his nose in disgust. "Not the most pleasant way to go out…"

Tails wrung his fingers together. "But what's the possibility of that happening? Let's just keep watching!" Eggs didn't cause people to be gassy, right? Oh please…

" **Wait…" Sticks pointed at the small mech. "This thing reads minds?"**

**UT translated, rather uselessly, "'Wait. This thing reads minds.'"**

" **Get it out of my** _ **head!**_ **" The badger screamed.**

"' **Get it out of my head.'"**

"Well, she's completely honest." Knuckles pointed out. "That's one thing she's got going for her." He watched as she pulled out a boomerang. She would've clubbed the robot if the other him hadn't restrained her. The guardian deadpanned. "And she's quick to attack, I guess that's another."

Sonic winked at the echidna. "She's basically a female you, Knux!"

"Chaos Sonic, if you compare me to her one more time-!"

" **Now, now!" Knuckles chastised, holding onto the feistier one. "Calm down, Sticks!"**

"' **Take it easy, whack-job.'"**

" **Hey!" Sticks barked indignantly at UT.**

"' **I am displeased.'"**

**Sonic tried to fix the situation. "Don't be offended, Sticks! Knuckles didn't mean to think that."**

**UT rolled up to him. "'He's not the sharpest tool in the shed.'"**

**Knuckles growled, insulted.**

Sonic tapped his foot, frowning up as he positioned the ice on his stomach. "Why is everyone getting so riled up? We say insults to each others' faces all the time and no one gets offended!"

Knuckles scoffed. "Actually, you're the only one who does it, and you are the only one we do it to. But I get what you're saying. Things are getting pretty heated."

" **Tails, I think it's best if you shut that thing off." Amy strictly advised. "We don't want it to reveal anything too…sensitive."**

**UT beeped. "'Shut that thing up before it tells Sonic that I-" Tails powered it off. "'-looo….'"**

" **Uh, what was he saying?" Sonic asked, not understanding.**

**Amy frantically waved her hands and chuckled nervously. "Nothing! Nothing important!"**

"Nothing important? Nothing important?!" A fire blazed in Amy's jade orbs. "Since when is declaring your devoted love to the one you cherish most _nothing important?_ " She wanted to jump into the screen and slap some sense into her other self. Shyness would get her nowhere. "She needs to take charge and stalk – I mean, _never_ give up! True love conquers all!"

The others couldn't even be surprised about her rather…intense outburst.

What threw Sonic off however, was that the other him seemed _oblivious_ to it. _Come on other me! You have to know so you can learn the warning signs and get the heck out of dodge! Save yourself!_

Knuckles was slightly leaning away from Amy. "Are you done?"

"NO! I'M NEVER DONE LOVING SONI – oh, do you mean with my speech?" Amy crossed her ankles and nodded. "Then yeah, I'm done. For now."

**A little distance away, a robot shaped like a bug had been recording the scene.**

**The setting changed to Eggman's lair, said doctor and his two helper bots watching the crew bicker on a large screen. "Very interesting," he hummed, "It seems Tails' new invention is creating friction between Sonic and his friends."**

" **Yeah!" Cubot, who was standing beside him, concurred. "And they're not getting along either!"**

Eggman exhaled harshly. " _This_ is why I had trashed those robots! They're completely idiotic and a waste of time and energy to maintain!"

Sonic had to agree. "Yeah, they weren't your best work Eggy, not that your best isn't that great either…"

The man refrained from pulling his 'stache hair out. "Did I _ask_ you, rodent?"

"Nope!" He chirped. "But I answered!"

Eggman had a full-on migraine now, and he knew that it wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

" **This gives me an idea." Eggman told them. "If I build a duplicate robot to replace the original, I could have it say whatever I want! They'll be at each other's throats in no time! And with the group divided, I can destroy them once and for all!"**

Tails tilted his head. "That wouldn't work, right? Our other selves wouldn't trust a robot over their friends!"

Knuckles shrugged. "Given what we've seen, it's possible."

"It's doesn't mean that it is a smart plan!" Eggman couldn't help but refute. "All he has to do is take the robot, modify it so it has broader range, and-" He slumped, massaging his forehead. "-and I'm just going to have to watch him fail _again_ , don't I?"

"You're used to it though, so it's okay."

Eggman ignored Sonic's jab with effort, and he mentally patted himself on the back.

**Eggman laughed evilly, but when Orbot and Cubot joined in, he cut them off. "Don't laugh with me. You're ruining it."**

**It was now nighttime, and Tails was in his house sitting in a chair. He spoke to his new robot. "Wow, UT. My friends normally love my inventions. I can't believe you had such a lousy debut." He laid down in it with sigh.**

**UT's monotone filled the air. "'I blame myself.'"**

Tails felt bad for his other self. His invention was great! He shouldn't beat himself up for it.

**The kit shook his head. "No no. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. After all, I was the one who – oh wait." He sat up and faced the mech. "You were just saying my thoughts, huh?"**

"' **I feel like such a dummy.'"**

**Tails shut UT off. "Things'll go better tomorrow, I promise. Goodnight, UT." The kid yawned and fell asleep.**

"There he goes, jinxing things again…" Amy trailed off, feeling terrible for the little guy.

**Orbot and Cubot, seeing that he's sleeping, snuck in and switched UT out for a duplicate. Tails moved a bit, but didn't wake up. The robots crept back out, leaving behind the fake.**

Sonic scratched his nose. "You called it, Ames."

**It was daytime again, and most of the friends were on the beach. Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy were resting under the umbrella while Sticks was bouncing the volleyball by herself. It was the badger who noticed the approaching Tails and UT first. Annoyance flashed across her face.**

" **Okay," Tails began, "I know things got off on the wrong foot yesterday, but I-"**

**Sonic, now awake, interrupted him. "Tails, I think it would be best if you turned UT off."**

"Jeez…can't he let Tails speak first?" Sonic groused. "I mean, come on!"

"Let's just rename this episode 'Everyone be unfair to Tails'," the kit murmured.

**The fake UT spoke. "'Amy Rose is a big dope."**

**Amy glared at Sonic. "Oh! So now** _**that's** _ **what you're thinking?"**

**The shocked speedster held his hands up innocently. "Wh-What? No! Not even close!"**

Knuckles couldn't help but to think that this was nice payback, although… "That Amy was quick to turn on Sonic even though she 'loves' him." The air-quotes were clearly heard.

"Sonic would never call me that!" Amy hmphed. Overly-attached friend, yes. Dope, no. "So I would know immediately that something was wrong!"

**Eggman was watching through the screen again and was speaking for the replica of UT through a microphone. "And her hair stinks! What does she shampoo with…"**

"' **Yogurt from the back of the fridge?'"**

Amy sniffed her quills. They smelled like roses, not like a most likely expired dairy product. If anyone smelled like that, it would be Eggman.

" **Why would you even say that?" Amy yelled, getting into Sonic's face.**

" **But I didn't say that!" He pointed to the small bot. "** _ **He**_ **did!"**

"Yep, looks like one of Eggy's plans are workin' for a change." Sonic threw the human a mocking grin. "Wanna pen so you can take some notes?"

The doctor took off his other slipper and hurled it in Sonic's direction, inwardly cursing when the rodent stuck out his tongue, expertly dodging. He was running out of things to throw.

**Knuckles rolled his eyes. "** _**Sure** _ **you didn't."**

"' **I'm stupid.'"**

" **Hey!" the echidna exclaimed, glaring at the bot.**

"I mean, he's not wrong." Knuckles leaned his elbows on his knees, chin resting in a palm. "Yeah, he hadn't reached that first episode level of stupid yet, but the fact that he doesn't smell _something_ fishy after _that_ is just terrible.

"It just looks like he's gullible." Tails observed. "And when we first met you, well…"

"It was a whole different situation then!" Knuckles nearly growled, not wanting to be reminded of his regrettable past actions.

"Not really," Sonic said flippantly, "Both of you fell for Baldy's schemes."

The guardian gestured violently at the screen. "The other you fell for it _too!_ "

Sonic wagged a finger. "But _I_ never have!"

"Actually, Sonic-"

"Hush, Tails. I'm winnin' an argument here."

Knuckles just huffed, giving up for now. He was better convincing with his fists than words anyway. He'd deliver his 'side' of the argument later to not extend their time stuck here any longer.

**The fake UT continued. "'And um…I'm ugly too, but not as ugly as Sticks.'"**

**The badger growled before tackling Knuckles and basically trying to detach his head from his shoulders.**

" **Ow!" The red one shouted. "Get offa me!"**

"Actually, with that level of violence, she's more of a mixture of Knuckles and Sha-"

"Say _one_ more word, faker, and you'll wish that you had never been born."

"Exactly my point!"

**Eggman was laughing evilly at what he saw in his lair. "Now, this is going** _**nicely.** _ **"**

**The real UT rolled over to him. "'Dr. Eggman is a genius.'"**

**The human was clearly impressed. "Hey, I like your style."**

"' **You're the only one who understands me.'"**

" **I think we've seen enough of this." Eggman turned off the TV showing the still feuding heroes to give UT his full attention.**

"' **Let's turn off the monitors and focus on praising Dr. Eggman.'"**

**Said man smiled.**

Eggman just shook his head in exasperation. He hadn't sunk _that_ low in needing someone to always praise him loss after loss, saving him from the sad void of defeat every time that annoying hedgehog got the best of him…

…huh. Maybe he did need to invest in one of those…

**Back with the anthros, Amy hadn't backed down yet. "Sonic the hedgehog, I can't believe you think those awful things!"**

**Sonic was just as agitated. "So now you're gonna trust some bucket of bolts over me?"**

" **So wait." Knuckles scratched his head. "Who called me stupid?** _ **I**_ **called me stupid?"**

"There it is." Knuckles sighed out. "He's back to being an idiot." But _why_ though? Why was he like that? Had he hit his head too many times protecting the Master Emerald… _wherever_ it was? Or maybe it was drugs after all.

**Sticks then spoke up. "Don't you see? This is what it wants us to do!" Her voice raised in volume. "The roboapocalypse is nigh!"**

Tails blinked. "Wow… So she's a mix of Knuckles, Shadow, and Charmy hyped up on sugar?" He slightly hid behind Sonic when he was suddenly on the receiving end of two sets of glares.

The blue blur chuckled. "You hit it the head, Tails!"

**Sonic and Amy stared blankly at Sticks for a moment before going back to arguing.**

**The pinkette pointed a finger in the azure hedgehog's face. "After everything I do for you, you don't appreciate me?! Why am I even** _**here?** _ **"**

Knuckles rose a brow at that. "You two are seriously arguing like you're a married couple."

Amy danced a bit in her seat. "We totally are!" Did this mean that something was _actually_ happening between the two? She couldn't wait to find out! "There's _definitely_ some lover's tension there!"

"You guys are lookin' _way_ too far into this!" Sonic's words were fast and nearly incomprehensible. He didn't care. He was too busy being in denial. "It's just two _friends_ arguing! Nothing special!" _I believe in you, other me! Don't cross over to the dark side!_

Tails frowned up a bit. "I don't know Sonic-"

" _Hush_ Tails! I'm tryin' not to freak out here!"

" **I know my friends wouldn't think such horrible thoughts about each other…maybe UT's malfunctioning?" Tails muttered to himself, turning to the robot. He used a screwdriver to open the mech up. He gasped in surprise. "What the heck? I didn't install a remote speaker!"**

**The speaker was shown and had an Eggman logo on it.**

_There went that plan_ , Eggman thought. _Though it was destined to fail from the start._ The doctor should learn from this however. Logos – while they let everyone know exactly which evil mastermind was delivering their doom – were probably something to let go.

**Tails ripped it out and yelled to the others. "You guys, stop! We've been duped! Eggman swiped UT and replaced him with this imposter!"**

**They all stopped fighting to look at him.**

" **We gotta save the real UT!" Tails said with determination. He began to run off, but paused when he realized that no one was following. "…Don't you guys wanna get UT back?"**

**Sonic put a hand on his hip. "Thing is bud, that robot of yours just makes us fight all the time."**

"So…basically he's going to have Tails rescue his bot from the heart of Eggman's base by himself?" Sonic pursed his lips, not liking this. Though, he was more than glad that argument with the other him and Amy hadn't moved into darker territory. Sonic inwardly shuddered. " _Great_ plan. Yep, that'll go smoothly."

Tails peered up at his big bro. "You would've went with me, right Sonic?"

Sonic smiled before giving him a noggie. "Sure would've bud! No matter how annoying the robot is!" Tails giggled as he fought to free himself.

" **It's evil, I tell ya!" Sticks reiterated.**

**Tails' face fell. "Fine. I see how it is. I'll go get him back myself!" He then ran off.**

**The kit was now sprinting over Eggman's island, heading for the entrance of the lair. Peering around a corner, he spotted a patrolling Motobug. Tails ducked behind the rock when the robot looked his way, and he smacked it with a wrench when it came to investigate. When it broke, Tails resumed his trek.**

"He's doing well so far…" Tails pondered aloud, having escaped Sonic's hold.

**Inside the base, Eggman was holding out a piece of cake shaped like his face to UT. "Would you like another slice of cake?"**

**UT beeped. "'What a beautiful cake. I hope no one sits on it."**

Tails cocked his head. "Why would he even-"

**Eggman sat the dessert on a nearby table just as Tails fell through the skylight, landing square on it.**

Tails laughed along with the others, sans Shadow – who was too tired to tell the rest to shut up – and Eggman – who actually felt a tinge of sadness. That cake looked very delicious, and he could go for one right now to distract him from this _madness_.

**Tails held up a fist. "Eggman!"**

"' **Landing in that cake really hurt my credibility.'"**

Sonic was fighting to control his chuckles. "Yeah, but it still was awesome!" The other Eggman looked like he'd eaten one too many cakes anyway. He didn't need it.

" **Not now, UT!" The fox frowned before throwing a slice of cake at the robot, shutting it off. Tails jumped off the table and demanded, "Give me back my robot!"**

**Eggman stood up, now looming over him. "Or what?"**

**Tails hesitated. "…That's a fair question."**

"Wait…Why didn't Tails just swoop in, take the robot, and fly back out?" Amy didn't know what their alternate selves were thinking sometimes. "That would've been a lot easier!"

"Maybe UT's too heavy?" Tails provided.

"Or maybe they just want to make everything harder for themselves," Knuckles uttered before glancing over at his human neighbor. "Hell Eggman, with them acting like that, maybe you'll get to see yourself win. For once."

"I doubt it," Eggman and Sonic said at the same time.

**More robots appeared and surrounded Tails.**

" **Where's that blue loser?" the doctor inquired, "And the rest of your friends?"**

" **I'm here alone! I came to negotiate the release of my robot, UT!"**

" **Negotiate?" Eggman rubbed his chin. "Usually we just battle until the losing party…sometimes you, sometimes me – it's about a fifty-fifty split – retreats to his lair!"**

That was the worst lie Sonic's ever heard. "Fifty-fifty? Not even close! The only thing that's 'fifty-fifty' is whether Eggman cries or not after every defeat!"

"I do not _cry!_ " Eggman slammed a fist on the arm of the couch. Though, he did take a bubble bath every once in a while, but that was neither here nor there. "I am a grown _man_ , Sonic!"

The azure speedster smirked. "Who always gets bested by a buncha kids, right? And a grandpa," he added as an afterthought, snickering at Shadow's irked expression.

Shadow didn't even know why he opened his mouth. Sonic had been baiting him. He _really_ needed sleep if he had to constantly deal with him. "In case you've _forgotten_ hedgehog, I had remained in stasis for _fifty years._ "

Sonic's eyes widened. "Oh yeah, that's right! That's even better! Eggman, you've been beaten by a bunch of kids and a _toddler!_ "

Shadow gritted his teeth. His rival was supposed to be taunting the doctor, not _him_. "You have been beaten by a toddler too, _faker_ , today even. So be quiet before this _toddler_ does something he probably _won't_ regret."

Sonic blinked before huffing. "You're no fun Shads…"

**Tails had his hands on his hips. "Let's pretend that's true and that you don't always lose. In exchange for the safe return of my robot," he gestured to himself, "I'm prepared to offer my services as your lab assistant."**

" **Intriguing…" Eggman stroked his mustache. "With two mechanical geniuses under one roof-"**

Tails perked up. "Was that…a compliment?"

Eggman growled. "Not from _me._ "

" **-I'd raise my win ration well above the fifty-fifty mark that we both agreed earlier was completely accurate."**

Sonic quietly snorted. The other Eggman was seriously swimming waist deep in denial.

" **Then it's a deal?" Tails asked.**

**Eggman patted Orbot. "I'll have Orbot draw up a contract. This will be delicious! Having one of Sonic's friends helping me build the tools that will destroy him!"**

" **It's ripe with irony, your evilness!" Orbot agreed. "Sonic won't know what hit him!"**

" **But wait." Eggman thought for a second. "The moment Sonic realizes you're missing, he'll come bursting through that door with that circus troupe he calls friends, and put a damper on all the fun!"**

"Probably not!" Amy's cheeks were puffed out. "Because they're too busy being haters and not…congratulaters!"

Knuckles gave her an amused look. "You have a way with words, you know that?"

Amy smiled. "I know! I try!"

**Tails approached his stolen robot. "I've already thought of that. Since you're letting UT go, I'll just send a message along with him."**

"That's smart!" Tails' namesakes wagged behind him. "Because then UT would translate what he says into what he really means! He probably planned that from the start!"

Knuckles could see where Tails was coming from. "Okay, so I take back what I said before. Tails knows what he's doing, but the rest of his friends need some work."

" **Good thinking, number two!" Eggman praised.**

**Orbot nudged him. "I thought I was number two?"**

" **Oh please. I'd need a computer to find out where you fall in the pecking order." A laptop was suddenly there in the man's hold. "Fortunately, I have one here." He made a few keystrokes. "Three hundred forty-seven."**

**Orbot slumped.**

_He can't be that upset,_ Sonic mused, _He has to know that nice and Eggman go together like Shadow and appreciating a joke for once._

**Tails pushed a button on UT, activating a video recorder. "Hey gang, it's Tails." He waved. "I'm going to be staying with Eggman. No need to rescue me, I'm one hundred percent safe and happy." Tails ended the recording.**

How did the other him not _catch_ that? Eggman released a heavy sigh. This was torture.

**Back on the beach, UT rolled up, approaching a lounging Amy and Knuckles. "Hey, it's Tails' missing robot." The pinkette observed.**

" **We found him!" Knuckles smiled as everyone gathered around the bot. The echidna pointed at UT. "When you see Tails, tell him we looked everywhere for a long time."**

Knuckles simply rolled his eyes, having no words.

" **Or we can just recycle the thing and take a blood oath never to tell a soul." Everyone silently stared at Sticks. She shrugged. "What? Just spitballin' here."**

Sonic didn't know what else to say besides, "Yeah. She's got some Shads in here."

Nothing but hate flowed through Shadow's veins. Hate for what? Everything.

**UT activated the message from Tails, the hologram of the fox floating over the sand. The recording repeated what the kit said earlier, and the crew was shocked.**

**The small mech then translated it. "'I snuck into Eggman's lair to save my robot. It was awesome. You should have seen me. Anyways, I need you to come rescue me now. Sorry for the inconvenience."**

" **Wow…" Knuckles was impressed. "UT really came in handy!"**

**Amy nodded. "Maybe it's not as dumb an invention as we thought."**

"And it only took for Tails to be put in serious danger to realize that." Knuckles deadpanned.

"Eh." Sonic stretched a bit, careful of his bruises. "I won't say _serious_ danger."

Knuckles grunted. "Whatever. You get my point. _None_ of this would've happened if they went with him in the first place. The episode would've been over by now!"

"I dunno about that, Knuckles," Tails started, "The last two had lasted the same about of time…

The guardian groaned. "This situation is just terrible." He just wanted to watch over the Master Emerald. Was that too much to ask?

" **Yeah…but we should still smash it," Sticks suggested, "Just to be safe."**

**Sonic shook his head. "No time for that now! We've gotta go save Tails!"**

**In Eggman's lair once more, the scientist was working on a smashed Bee bot with Tails by his side. "Tails, be a doll and plug my drill into that outlet over there?"**

**The kit grabbed the plug and glanced in the direction Eggman was pointing in. The outlet was sparking wildly.**

**Tails frowned. "Uh…that doesn't look very safe."**

" **Yeah, I know. That's why I'm having** _ **you**_ **do it," Eggman said like it was obvious.**

"Probably the most sensible thing he's said this whole time," Eggman commented. Honestly, he would do the same if he was in that position. No one liked being electrocuted.

**Tails gulped but went for it anyway. Eggman sighed. "It's nice having an assistant."**

**An alarm began to blare, and a monitor dropped down to show Sonic destroying a Bee bot right outside the base.**

"Woo!" Sonic cheered as he sat straighter, eyes focused. "Some action! Let's go!"

**Amy hammered a Crab bot with a satisfied yell. Sticks sidestepped another Bee bot's blasts until it was crushed by a smug Knuckles. A Motobug raced by and immediately was smashed by a spin dashing Sonic. UT attempted but failed to translate the action. Amy and Sticks then crushed a Bee bot by kicking it simultaneously. They shared victorious grins.**

Sonic couldn't help but to smile. "No matter the universe, robots are _no_ match for Team Sonic!" Tails and Amy cheered while Knuckles smirked. Eggman grumbled under his breath, and Shadow really missed his bed.

**The entrance doors to the lair opened up, revealing a disgruntled Eggman and Tails.**

" **We're here to save our friend from your evil clutches!" Sonic shouted.**

" **Wait, what?" Confusion flashed across Eggman's face. "No! Tails and I have a contract!"**

**Orbot then waltzed over, holding up a piece of paper. "Here's the lab assistant contract, ready to be signed!"**

Eggman clutched his head before running his hands down his face, ignoring the laughter floating around the room. That man was such an _embarrassment!_ He was ruining Eggman's good – though some would argue – name as a villain! It didn't matter if it was him or not, the heroes would never let him live this down!

**Tails simply laughed and rejoined his friends.**

" **Fine!" Eggman growled. "Lucky thing I always have a plan B."**

**The ground rumbled, and a huge bulky robot with one red eye, tank treads, and big hands approached them.**

Sonic whistled lowly at the big bot. "Still nothin' we can't handle!"

**More Bee bots flew over and blasted Tails and Knuckles with their stingers, the duo dodging the attacks. Amy pulled out her hammer and charged the Mega bot; however, it knocked the weapon away with ease. It then raised a fist and attempted to crush the pinkette.**

" **Amy! Look out!" Sonic sped over and got her out of the way just in time. Sonic was still holding onto Amy when they put a safe distance between themselves and the machine.**

" **That was close," Sonic said, relieved.**

**UT was nearby. "'I care about your well-being."**

" **Aww…" Amy cooed, and Sonic gave her a grin.**

Amy shrieked as she jumped to her feet, hopping up and down and pointing at the screen. "What…That…It's happening! OH MY GOSH IT'S HAPPENING!"

Tails furrowed his brow. "Wait… Does that mean that they're actually…a thing?"

His only answer was Amy shrieking again, unable to contain herself.

Sonic couldn't breathe. " _Ack!_ " He clutched his chest. "My heart!"

Amy clasped her hands together, giggling manically – it was so _cute_ – before letting out a dreamy sigh. "Is it swelling and warming up to the love in the air?"

"No! I'm havin' a heart attack! Because what…when…how… _w-why?_ " Sonic sputtered. He put a hand on his forehead, feeling light headed. When Amy danced some more, he knew that he had to put an end to this before she got any ideas. "It's platonic! Yeah! It has to be! Friends caring about friends, right? _Platonic!_ "

Watching Sonic freak out made up for Amy nearly shattering his eardrums. Knuckles snickered. "Looked more than platonic to me."

"I mean…" Tails rubbed the back of his neck. "The other Amy does act different, so…"

"Whose _side are you on!?_ " Sonic screeched. Shadow flattened his ears and snarled at him, but he couldn't care less. _This is how I die,_ Sonic deduced, _Forced to watch this nightmare which is only gonna get worse because I know that won't be the only time-!_

Amy suddenly pounced on him, landing in his lap. "If they can do it, we totally can to!" She leaned forward, and Sonic wanted to disappear into the couch. "Especially since I know I love you more than she loves her Sonic!" The pinkette, noticing that there was now an empty spot beside the speedster, settled down and nuzzled his side.

Stiff, Sonic glared at Shadow, who had moved to take Amy's former spot. "Shadow, you _traitor!_ "

"Stop yelling," was all the striped one had to say.

The blue blur faced Tails, begging with his eyes. "Help," he squeaked.

Tails glanced between his bro and the girl on his arm. He regrettably shrugged and mouthed, "Sorry...!"

Sonic subtly winced when Amy squeezed him.

He was doomed.

**Sonic ran back to spin attack the Mega, only to bounce off and get hit.**

**Knuckles was standing on one of its treads, punching but not making a dent. He growled before trying to grab it; that didn't work either. "Man!"**

**Sticks ferally yelled and jumped at the robot, futilely whacking it with her boomerang until it knocked her away with a flick of its finger.**

**Eggman chuckled evilly. "Tails! Deploy the photon bombs!"**

**Tails hopped over a blast from a robotic bee and gave the doctor a pointed look.**

**Eggman suddenly remembered. "…Oh right."**

Knuckles wasn't even watching the show at the moment, still entertained by Sonic's misfortune. "Comfortable over there, Sonic?"

The hero didn't answer him, resisting the new yet inexplicably _strong_ urge to flip the echidna off.

**The doctor released the bombs himself. They shot out of the Mega bot and circled around the heroes. One targeted Tails, blowing up. The attacking Bee bot was destroyed and Tails was sent flying, rescued from careening off the cliff by UT. Another bomb landed between Knuckles and Amy, pushing the echidna back a bit and throwing Amy into Sonic's arms.**

Amy happily squealed in Sonic's ear, wiggling around.

The speedster tried to peel her off, but she had a vice grip.

Hopefully the _thing_ would pity him.

" **Sticks! Set Knuckles up!" Sonic shouted.**

**The badger hit the third bomb into the air. Knuckles jumped up high and spiked the sphere into Mega's eye. The bomb exploded, thrusting the robot backwards. It toppled over the cliff and fell into the ocean.**

" **No!" Eggman groaned in frustration before marching back into his lair, Orbot trailing after him.**

The human slowly shook his head, knowing that he would have to get used to this.

**They all went over to Tails and UT once the doors sealed. "Thanks for the rescue, guys."**

" **Hey," Knuckles gestured at the small bot, "We couldn't have done it without UT."**

**Sonic smiled. "I think we'll be going on lots more adventures with UT from now on."**

" **I agree," Sticks added.**

"' **I'm going to destroy that stupid robot.'"**

**The badger promptly picked the mech up and hurled it into the water. Tails clenched his fists in anger while she just crossed her arms. "Sorry, Tails. Had to be done."**

**It faded to black.**

"I _loved_ that episode!" Amy laughed.

"Of course you did…" Sonic muttered under his breath.

Knuckles grinned, tone filled with mirth. "We _did_ learn some interesting things."

"Knux, watch your back from now on, 'kay?"

"Besides…that." Tails gestured to a captured Sonic. "I kinda like it because-"

"It doesn't _matter_ why you like it." Shadow adjusted the ice on his face, stress ball laying in his lap. "Cut the chat and play the next damn one."

The echidna was going to do just that – because he _did_ have a particular jewel thief to worry about – but then a bright light filled the air, blinding all of them.

When it faded away, Sonic couldn't help but to groan. "Oh you gotta be kiddin' me."

Eggman gaped, not understanding _why_. "Metal Sonic?!"

There – in the middle of the floor – stood the metallic Sonic replica, his hard blue hide reflecting the lights above. His back was to the hostages, facing the large television. However, at Eggman's question, Metal turned to him and cocked his head, like he didn't know what was going on either.

Everyone was tensed, wondering just what in the _world._

Metal's red opticals flashed, his monotonous voice piercing the air. "Why have you disrobed? It is unsightly."

Eggman scowled as he folded his arms across his chest. "That's not important! What _is_ important is why are you _here?_ " This whole situation was a mess! Eggman had been keeping Metal a secret for a future scheme! He had been in the middle of rebuilding him – planning on not replacing his memory and personality chips to avoid having a bot with an attitude – so he shouldn't even be _finished_ right now! So what-

"Are you going senile in your old age, doctor? My objective has not strayed. I have been activated and brought here for one blatant reason." Sonic's muscles locked up when those red eyes found him. "To eliminate my inferior copy."

Metal lunged.


	5. Chapter 5

Sonic didn't have time to think about Metal Sonic launching forward probably about to gut him then and there. He just _acted._

Jumping out of a scared Amy's hold – he mentally thanked his robotic replica for a chance to free himself from that hug of death – the blue blur braced himself for anything. Metal's claws were aiming right for this throat, so to counterattack he would have to-

Sonic was thrown out of his attack-ready state when Metal was suddenly yanked backwards, falling to the ground with a loud thud. As the robot figured out exactly why he was refused his mission objective, Sonic's emerald orbs zeroed in onto the durable collar around Metals neck that was attached to a rope… _phasing_ through the wall holding the television.

Okay, so maybe he didn't have to counterattack, but uh… _what?_

Tails glanced around the room to make sure everyone else was seeing what he was. They were. Good. So he _wasn't_ having some kind of fever dream. "Did…Did the thing help us by…leashing him…?"

"It would…seem so?" Amy shakily confirmed as she peered around Sonic's back, having ducked for cover when that killing machine lunged.

By this point, Knuckles wasn't surprised the _thing_ had done that. What he _was_ shocked about is that the end of rope was just… _in_ the wall. No hole, no cracks, nothing. This was insanity. The echidna watched as Metal clawed at the leather restraint like mad. "Is it going to hold?"

As Shadow slumped deeper into the sofa, wondering exactly _what_ he had done to deserve this, Eggman was still reeling from the fact that Metal was in his _presence._ "Who cares?!" the man exclamed. Team Sonic did. A lot. That collar was the one thing that kept this room from turning into a warzone.

Eggman's mind was a whirlwind. Why was he here? And why so late? Was it because the _thing_ had been getting him ready? "Metal, you still haven't properly answered my question! Who programed you? How exactly did you get-"

"You are repeating yourself doctor, and it is growing quite irritating." The blue robot was now trying and failing to yank the rope out of the wall. He wasn't holding back either. Both of his feet were planted on the wall and he was tugging like his manufactured life depended on it. "I am here to exterminate-"

A thought ran through Tails' head as he glimpsed at the TV. Clearly, the _thing_ didn't want Sonic dead, so maybe Metal was here for the same reason they all were? "No you're not…" he bravely interrupted the struggling machine, "You're-"

"Invalid." Metal gave up on the rope and reconnected with the ground. He faced the kit and the speedster beside him. "I am 99.999 percent certain I was brought here because my copy needs to be disposed of."

Sonic raised a finger. "Uh yeah, I don't agree with that."

The mech's fists clenched. "It is irrelevant what you think. I will eradicate you, even with this…unforeseen obstacle." He tugged at the collar again. No luck. Light gathered in his midsection, preparing a laser. "Meet your demise."

The azure speedster was about to spin dash the bot – he already had gotten hurt once. He _really_ didn't want to go through that process again – but like before…he didn't have to do anything.

Metal Sonic had launched his attack, but instead of a red-hot beam that would turn your insides into mush, a rainbow of colors exploded in the room.

Sonic didn't know what he was seeing at first; there were colors _everywhere_. However, when he held his hands out, palms up, and observed as multicolored slivers of paper piled up on his gloves, chuckles bubbled up in his chest and spilled out. "Metal…you shot out…" He was uncontrollably laughing at this point when it became clear to him. "Confetti! You shot out _confetti!_ "

It wasn't long before Tails and Knuckles joined him, the lightweight papers flitting to the floor. The situation had morphed from dangerous to absolutely ridiculous. "This is rich!" The echidna guffawed.

Amy wasn't at that stage of mirth yet, simply thanking whoever was listening that her dear Sonic was still alive and well and still eligible to date.

Shadow scowled deeply at the happiness around him, harshly blowing the drifting confetti out of his face. Eggman was speechless and borderline insulted. His robots were meant to be used for destruction! _Not_ to help decorate parties!

Metal Sonic couldn't compute this illogical outcome. Where did the papers come from? From within his body? Because that did not sound possible, but…here he was, watching as confetti littered the floor with his still _breathing_ copy laughing at him. This would not stand!

He attempted to blast Sonic again, but the same thing occurred. More colors floated through the air, and Metal believed that his reputation was – as mortals said it – being flushed down the toilet. The robot didn't dare try it another time. He fought against the collar and rope, needing to get to the hero who was now crying from laughing so hard, doubled over and busting a lung.

Sonic wiped away a tear as he straightened back up, too happy to care about the subtle pain in his bruises. The hero then stepped to the side and sat down in the tiny space between Tails and the arm of the couch. The kit was forced to scoot over, him now a barrier between the hero and the crazed girl. Tails knew why he did it, but he still could've _asked._ He wasn't the lightest thing around.

Sonic calmed down a bit, peeking through the settling confetti at Metal and ignoring Amy's pout. "I can definitely tell ya what you came here for Metal, and it's not to fight me." The _thing_ really put a stop to that, didn't it? "Guess that 0.001 percent seriously came through for us, huh?"

"Sure did!" Tails released a few more chuckles. "Like I was saying Metal Sonic, you weren't brought here to uh…kill Sonic. You're here – I'm assuming – to watch episodes of the lives of us in an alternate dimension. We're all in it and I guess you are too. Oh, and there is this… _thing_ that has magical powers and is keeping us trapped here with no escape until we get through them all. It can control the weather, move items…and conjure up collars and leashes, apparently."

Metal silently stared at him for a long moment before regarding Eggman. "Tell me he is spouting false truths."

Eggman slowly shook his head, his headache throbbing. "No. He's right. You're stuck here with the rest of us."

The bot glanced at the other occupants of the couches before returning to the human. "But that is-"

"Illogical. Impossible. Some other fancy 'I' word." Sonic waved him off with a grin. Now that Metal was proved totally harmless, he could say that he was highly amused by this. "No matter how much you deny it, it's happenin'. Sit down like a good bot so we can get this show on the road."

Knuckles swatted away some paper that had twirled too close to his eyes. "I'm actually curious about how he acts in the other world. I'm an idiot on screen, the complete opposite to how I really am – Sonic, don't say a _word_ – so the other Metal could act in an opposite way as well." He smirked. "Maybe he'll be a toaster."

"Ha!" Sonic slapped his knee. "He could make some evil toast to go with Eggman's evil ham!" The doctor on the second sofa groaned in frustration.

Metal looked between the speedster and Eggman. He didn't have the first clue to what was going on, but, "Surely any toast I make would be superior to any pork the doctor manages to prepare."

Eggman growled. "You're supposed to be on _my_ side, Metal!"

"Supposedly." The robot then turned on his heel, abandoning the effort in freeing himself. He examined the television in front of him. "Fox," he addressed Tails without looking at him, "You said that you all are subjected to observing moving pictures on this screen, correct?"

The kit warily nodded. "Yeah…"

"Is the magical being you mentioned housed in this television?"

At first, Tails didn't know where Metal was going with this. "I don't think so…" But then it clicked, especially when one of the robot's arms twitched. "Don't break the TV! We'll be stuck in here forever!"

"And you won't be able to throw punches at Sonic later." Knuckles added, not needing the mech to do something stupid.

Metal glanced at him before approaching the screen and moving to the side of it, the rope barely reaching. He searched up and down the thin appliance before he found what he was looking for. The mech held up a finger, the tip of it transforming into a hollow rectangle, before sticking it into a slot in the television.

Eggman narrowed his eyes at his creation. "And what _exactly_ are you doing, Metal?" If his time here was prolonged any more, he would go insane.

"If I remember correctly, the fox mentioned that we cannot escape until every 'episode' is watched. I am gleaning how many we are forced to endure by forcefully gaining access to the data containing the relevant files."

Tails blinked. "He's hacking the TV." He tapped his chin. "Which is…kinda smart! We don't really know how many episodes we have to watch…"

"That's true!" Amy agreed. "We _have_ been just watching without knowing what our end goal is!" Hopefully it was close and filled with the other Sonic and Amy going on romantic dates. Then Sonic surely would learn that she was the one for him!

Before anyone else could comment, Metal yanked his finger from the TV, which was now filled with static with smoke rising from the side of it.

Sonic's gut dropped when white noise filled the air. "Metal! What in the heck did you do!?"

The mech's red opticals were trained on the screen. "My download was incomplete."

Tails was a second away from panicking, but then the TV screen was suddenly clear again like Metal hadn't messed with it in the first place. The word 'Buster' was shown over a picture of a play button. After decreasing his heart rate, he hesitantly asked, "So…what did you find out?"

Metal checked his finger for damages. There weren't any. "My systems had detected fifty-two files before I was ejected from the appliance."

Amy was almost afraid to ask what he meant, because blossoming love or not…that was a _lot_. "And by files, you mean…"

"Episodes." Shadow snarled, the stress ball in his hand splitting in half and falling to his feet. His fist was trembling with rage. He was tired, agitated, and they still had to go through at least forty-nine _more?_ "There are more than fifty-two _episodes._ "

"Meaning that I will have to wait least five hundred and seventy-two minutes, or nine and half hours, until I can properly dispose of the inferior Sonic," Metal said.

However, Shadow had stopped listening at 'nine and a half hours'. He roared in anger, standing up and throwing his ice pack on the ground. He stomped on it as he marched his way to the kitchen, yelling out expletives so foul that Sonic had the urge to cover Tails' ears.

His footsteps were hard and heavy when he disappeared into the kitchen, and the kit flinched when the first crash sounded. Many…many more followed suit, paired with unabashed shouts.

"I'll uh…go try to calm him down." Sonic volunteered when it was clear that no one else was going to. He got up and cautiously shuffled through the confetti over to the doorway separating the kitchen and the living room. The blue blur barely had time to focus on his rival before a plate was hurled at his head. Sonic hastily ducked and heard the glass shatter on the wall behind him. He scurried back over to his spot on the couch. "I think we should just let 'im blow off some steam." _So I won't get impaled._

When Shadow eventually returned, he still looked pissed, but it was a seething anger than an explosive one. He reclaimed his seat, and Tails mourned for the state of his kitchen. He was going to wait to survey the damages until after this episode though.

Metal spoke to the striped hedgie. "That was unnecessary. In the two minutes and fourteen seconds you were throwing a tantrum, the file could have been playing."

Shadow's glare was so heated, the others were surprised the robot hadn't melted into a pile of goo. " _You're_ unnecessary." Molten scarlets then snapped over to his couch neighbor when Metal sunk to the floor, insulted yet unable to do anything about it. " _Play._ "

Knuckles didn't hesitate. These nine plus hours were going to be a nightmare. He was definitely going to have to pry the Master Emerald from Rouge's thieving fingers when he finally got out of here.

**The scene opened up in a village where a few villagers were strolling to their destinations. An ox-like character bought an ice cream cone, about to enjoy his delicious treat.**

Tails squinted his eyes at the screen, trying to think if he's ever seen that place before. He hadn't. "Any of you guys recognize that village?"

Amy shook her head while Sonic uttered a, "Nope. Don't think so," as he rolled one of the slivers of paper into a tiny ball.

"I've flown over many places on Angel Island, but that doesn't ring a bell," Knuckles chimed in.

Shadow didn't care enough to answer, and Eggman didn't feel the need to add his voice. Though, it was strange that he hadn't seen this village either.

Metal's opticals flashed as he stared. "My global positioning system indicates that the projected village does not exist."

"Doesn't exist?!" Amy repeated, flabbergasted. "Are you sure?"

"A hundred percent positive."

"Should we believe him?" Sonic questioned with a grin. "This _is_ the guy who gave all of us a surprise birthday party."

Metal's stare was blank, but Sonic _knew_ he was getting glared at. The clenched metal claws were a little hint.

Eggman propped his head up on the arm of the couch. "They are in a different world, rodent. So it's possible."

The robot turned on him. "A hundred percent possible. Did you not hear what I just said, doctor? You are growing hard of hearing in your old age."

The human bit his tongue as chuckles reached his ears. Now there was _another_ source of his humiliating pain. He didn't know if he was going to make it through all of these hours.

**The ox didn't get to chow down, for a burst of flame melted his ice cream. The man in charge of the dessert cart ran away. Sonic popped up from behind the stand and pulled the ox behind it for protection. The blue hedgehog then hopped into the open in a ready stance.**

**It was shown that Sonic's opponent was a fireman robot armed with a flamethrower. Fire burst out of its hose, but Sonic dodged it, spinning into the mech twice before bouncing away.**

"I do not know which one is more inferior: the alternate copy or that disappointment of a robot."

"I wouldn't throw around the word _disappointment_ if I were you, Metal." Eggman warned.

" **Dr. Eggman's evil fireman robot is running loose!" Sonic called out to whoever was listening.**

**Said human, who was sitting on a bench and reading a book, looked up. "Why does everyone assume every evil robot is mine?"**

**The blue hero hit the robot another time before responding, "I dunno. Experience?"**

"Yeah, I don't know where the other Eggman was going with that." Knuckles gestured to the screen. "He is sitting right _there._ "

"It's safe to say that the other me isn't the most intelligent Eggman to exist," the doctor grumbled.

Metal produced a noise that sounded suspiciously like a scoff. "Are you insinuating that _you_ are? Because that cannot be true."

Sonic snickered as steam basically poured out of Eggman's ears. "You kinda walked right into that one, Eggy. Hey Metal, if you ever decide to stop wanting to kill me, we'd make a great team in destroying Baldy's pride."

"I will never cease my attempts in draining your life force." Metal paused for a moment. "But yes…theoretically, we would."

**Sonic jumped up to avoid another ribbon of flame. Knuckles and Amy stepped up to fight, armed with a giant stick and a piko-piko hammer respectively.**

" **You're fired, pal!" Knuckles chuckled as he readied his stick. "Ha ha ha! Get it?" Incoming flames burned the piece of wood into a crisp, disintegrating in his grasp. "Ah, I guess not."**

Knuckles held his head in his hands. This was painful. And he had to through _hours_ of this? Someone put him out of his misery, or at least let his other self gain some IQ points, for crying out loud.

**Amy tapped her chin. "Shouldn't firemen put** _**out** _ **fires?"**

" **Ah, hello?" Eggman drawled out. "That's the irony! It's the evil opposite of a fireman." Sonic glared at him and he stuttered. "Uh…I assume…"**

The pinkette frowned. "He's really sticking to his dumb schtick."

"I don't get it." Tails furrowed his brow. "Is he…scared of Sonic, or what?"

"Or what!" Eggman grunted. "Obviously, it's part of his ridiculous scheme."

Sonic scoffed. "Or maybe I truly am terrifying." He learned forward. "Tell me, Egghead, do I haunt your nightmares?"

"You haunt my very existence, hedgehog."

The speedster grinned. "Just doin' my job."

" **Sonic!" Sticks was pointing at a house on fire, the pyro-robot using a ladder to carry a baby to it. "The evil anti-fire bot is putting a baby walrus** _ **into**_ **a burning house!"**

Metal cocked his head. "Who is that female? Why is she not going after the machine herself? Why does her voice need lubricant?"

Amy took the liberty to answer him. "That's Sticks, I have no clue, and-" She materialized her hammer. "-if you nothing good to say, don't say anything at all!"

The robot peered over his shoulder at her. "That is a useless toy." The weapon then smashed him in the face, sending him into the suddenly very durable wall. He clunked to the floor, his face surprisingly undented. Though, Metal figured that he had the so-called _thing_ to thank for that. "Recalculating."

**Sonic sped over and yanked the baby out of the robot's grip before returning him to his walrus mother.**

" **Sonic!" Now Tails was calling him as the metallic fiend climbed a tree. "Evil anti-fire bot is putting a kitten** _ **in**_ **a tree!"**

Tails puffed out his cheeks a bit. Why were they depending on Sonic so much? The other him had legs! And tails! He could've used either!

" **Go, evil fireman!" Eggman cheered before seeing Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks deadpan at him. He gave up the act. "Okay, I admit it. It's mine. Evil robots are what I do. Why stop if you're good at it?"**

"He is not proficient at it, and neither are you, doctor," Metal had to say.

Eggman regretted ever having the _idea_ of Metal Sonic. "I made _you!_ "

"Technically, the magical force thing activated him and brought him here. So you don't deserve all the credit Eggy," Sonic co-signed, loving this double-teaming idea.

Metal nodded. "Correct, so-"

"Just hush and watch the dreaded show!" Eggman commanded only because Metal was tied up. He didn't know exactly how loyal the robot was and how _keen_ he was to attack. The doctor didn't desire to go home disfigured.

**The fireman robot was now shooting fire at random citizens.**

" **This has gone on long enough," Sonic uttered before racing over, running circles around the robot and causing its hose to wrap around it. The flamethrower explodes, destroying the machine.**

**Noticing that he had lost, Eggman stood up. "I, um…left the oven on." He promptly fled.**

**Sonic put a hand on his hip and smirked. "Heh. Looks like that robot is fired!"**

Even Sonic knew that was bad. He outwardly winced. "Oh wow, that was… _My_ jokes aren't that corny, right guys?"

Silence. If there were crickets, they would be chirping.

Shadow then spoke up. "Cornier than popcorn."

Sonic slumped in his seat, heartbroken.

**Sticks, Tails, and Amy laughed while Knuckles huffed indignantly. "Hey! No one laughed when I said it…" he mumbled.**

**Still stuck in the tree was the kitten, and it let out a pitiful meow.**

**Once they calmed down, Sonic asked, "Sticks, can you get the kitten out of the tree?"**

"Is there somethin' wrong with _my_ twin's legs now?" Sonic complained, still recovering from the hit to his pride. "It's right _there!_ "

"All of them have lower intelligence levels, I have observed." Metal pointed out before glancing over to a brooding Shadow. "Is your alternate self idiotic as well, Ultimate Lifeform?"

"I wouldn't know," Shadow all but growled, his reply gruff, "I haven't shown up yet." Watch his double make an appearance during the _last_ episode. It'd be his damned luck.

Metal just produced a hum and continued watching.

**Sticks nodded. "Sure thing, Sonic!" She ran over and started shaking the tree back and forth, scaring the cat.**

Amy blinked. "Okay. Either the ground is really soft, or she is _really_ strong."

Sonic whistled lowly. "Another trait she and you share, huh Knux?"

_Ignore him. Ignore him. Ignore him._ Knuckles was doing everything in his power to not pound the hedgehog's face in.

" **Um, Sticks?" Sonic called as he ran over, now concerned. He continued when she didn't notice him. "Sticks? Sticks!" The kitten then fell out from the branch, bouncing against the blue blur's head and landing in his arms.**

**Sticks finally stopped shaking the tree. "What?"**

**The scene changed, and now they all were sitting in a house.**

" **Sticks, we want to talk about how you treat animals," Sonic started.**

**Amy's expression was worried. "It's not a good idea to shake kittens out of trees."**

"Yeah, Sticks doing that was kinda surprising, but the pet's safe!" Sonic defended. "I mean, aren't cats always supposed to land on their feet?"

"Yeah!" Amy confirmed. "And Blaze could vouch for that! I haven't seen her fall _once._ "

" **I know the law of the jungle!" Sticks exclaimed. "Trees are 'no-kitten zones'."**

" **That's a real law?" Knuckles pondered aloud, and Tails facepalmed.**

Even his double's _friends_ weren't having it. "He just needs to stop talking, forever." Knuckles grumbled.

"Nevermind the other Knuckles' lack of wit…" Tails scratched his head. "Jungle law? Is Sticks actually from a jungle?"

"Wouldn't be surprised," the echidna responded.

**Sticks looked confused, so Amy stood up. "You should get a pet. It would help you learn to love animals!" She glanced back at the azure speedster. "Don't you think, Sonic?"**

" **Yes, absolutely." He concurred.**

"Or…she just needs to talk to Cream." Sonic recommended. The bunny would definitely set her straight.

**Amy jabbed a thumb over to the badger. "Then you can take Sticks pet shopping right now!"**

**Sonic held up his hands. "No. Absolutely not."**

**A pet store was now shown with Sticks and Sonic entering it.**

Knuckles grinned. It was time to get a little payback. "Looks like Amy has the other you whipped, Sonic." His grin widened at the terrified glare he received.

Amy shook her head, hearts in her eyes. "I think that it's just he wants to do anything for his love!"

_Nine hours…it's not that long, right?_ Sonic tried to convince himself. _Oh who am I kidding? It's going to take forever…_

**Sticks approached the pens. "I hate cute, fuzzy, and adorable! See?" She pointed to a pair of baby squirrels. "Too cute!" Then to a bunny chopping on a carrot. "Too fuzzy." And then to a trio of big-eyed monkeys. "So…adorable!"**

**The pair of friends walked away, Sonic yawning out of boredom.**

"I wonder _exactly_ what Amy did to convince you, Sonic. Must've been something _special_."

"Knuckles, I swear if you don't shut your mouth…!" The blue blur snuck a glance over to Amy, and she was daydreaming with a pleasant smile on her muzzle. Sonic felt his end drawing near.

**A trashcan they strolled by suddenly shook, catching Sticks' attention. She peered into the can and pulled out a robotic dog.**

"A robot placed in the middle of nowhere? This has Eggman written all over it!" Tails pieced together.

Eggman wondered what _genius_ scheme it was this time.

Metal focused on the green slime around the dog's mouth. "It has not performed any duties yet and it is already malfunctioning. If I had the capabilities to laugh, I would be doing so."

**Sticks gazed on in awe as she held it up. "It's…oh, it's…"**

**Sonic scrunched his nose in revulsion. "Disgusting?"**

" **The least objectionable option!" The badger smiled as the screen became tinted pink, hearts floating around the slimed pup with cartoonish cupids flying around.**

Amy stuck her tongue out, completely repulsed. "Why in the heck would she take home something like _that?_ " That slime looked like it took _forever_ to get out of clothes! "A pet rock would've been better!"

"She's crazy." Knuckled frowned. "It's impossible to explain her actions."

" **Aww, who's a little cluster-wuster?" Sticks cooed and the dog barked in response. She hugged him close. "I'm gonna name him Buster!"**

**Sonic was nowhere near entertained. "Buster the…cluster?" A spray of green goo splattered against the hedgehog's face. Sticks cuddled her new pet even more and Sonic was unamused.**

"Just like…smash it on accident or somethin'!" Sonic yelled at the screen. "One leg spasm and boom! It's out of the park!"

"It's no use, Sonic." Tails sighed, playing with one of his namesakes. "Let them learn from their mistakes…"

" _If_ they learn." Knuckles grumped.

**Now, they were situated in a home/burrow in the middle of a forest.**

Amy pursed her lips. "That _has_ to be her house."

"So I was right…?" Tails questioned.

" _That_ explains why she likes that robot so much." Knuckles rotated his shoulder a bit. His joints were getting stiff. "She's used to slime and guck."

"So she lives outside, just like y-"

Sonic didn't get a chance to finish his taunt for Knuckles had leapt out of his seat and ran over to sock him in the jaw. The hedgie was fast though. He scrambled off the sofa and hurled over the back of it. He stuck a tongue out at Knuckles, who had stopped in his tracks for a moment.

Muzzle red with anger, the echidna jumped over the sofa as well, Sonic running to other couch Shadow and Eggman occupied. "Can't catch me Knux! You know that!"

Knuckles wanted to chase after his loose-mouthed friend, but his legs had other ideas. His breath hitched when his feet led him to Sonic's abandoned space beside Tails. His brain fought the decision, but his body wouldn't cooperate.

The guardian breathed out heavily when he popped a squat. "I guess I'm sitting now…?" This had to be the work of the _thing_. Knuckles glared at the ceiling, disregarding the others' bewildered looks. "This isn't fair!" He pointed at Shadow. " _He_ gets to punch Sonic, but I can't?"

Over being awed, Sonic laughed as he hurdled over the sofa and settled between his striped rival and his mustached archrival. "Guess it thinks I've been tortured enough for today!" He nudged his neighbor. "Right Shads?" _Or it actually took pity on me after the last episode._

Shadow ignored him altogether. He had moved to get _away_ from that idiot only to be put right back beside him. This was one of the worst days he's ever had, and it was only going to get worse. How? Hell if he knew.

The striped speedster noticed that Knuckles had dropped the remote during his attack, so he picked it up and continued his suffering.

**Buster was trotting around, slime dripping everywhere, until Sticks offered him a bone.**

**The crew, sans the badger, was sitting around a table made out of a tree trunk. As Buster took the bone, Amy began, "Sticks, when I said get a pet, I didn't think you'd come back with something so-"**

" **Wonderful?" The badger interrupted cheerfully.**

**Buster dropped the bone, another stream of slime splashing out of his mouth.**

Amy seemed a bit green in the face. "Ew ew ew! I can hardly look at it without feeling like I need to throw up!"

Tails eyed her warily before pointing to the other side of her. "If your eggs ever want to come back up, aim that way, please."

**Knuckles flinched backwards. "Ucky."**

" **Sticks, are you sure you want to keep this…" Sonic scratched his head. "…Cluster?"**

" **Ahem. It's** _ **Buster**_ **." The badger corrected before picking her pet up. "Finally, I have an adorable little pet that doesn't disgust me!"**

Sonic groaned in frustration. "What does she have against actual pets? Yeah, they might pee everywhere but that's not green and thick and constantly spewing!"

"Biological pets require attention, nourishment, and water." Metal opposed. "Machines do not require any of those, so it would facilitate the caretaking process."

The blue blur rolled his eyes. "So what, you're _defending_ her now?"

"No. Like I mentioned before, that robot is subpar and should be destroyed for its inadequacies."

Eggman's stare settled on Metal, tired of the mech being so high and mighty. He wasn't supporting the dog on screen; he just _really_ didn't want the Sonic replica here. His mood was in the negatives now. "Like how you shooting out confetti is subpar?"

Metal stared back at him, retorting smartly, "Like how you lose every confrontation is subpar?"

At that bruising comeback, Eggman wisely bit the bullet and kept his trap closed.

**Buster burped loudly, slinging goo onto Tails.**

" **Ew…" The fox rose his hands in anger. "Buster got slime in my fur!"**

" **That just means he woves you." Sticks kissed the robotic pup, getting slime around her mouth.**

Amy gagged, and Tails scooted closer to a sulking Knuckles.

**A montage started. Amy was buying ice cream from the vendor. Buster leapt by and devoured it. Amy growled in agitation as Buster settled on Sticks' lap, who was sitting on a bench.**

"He ate her ice cream?" Sonic gasped. "That's the lowest of the low." That delicious frozen treat was sacred and that pet deserved to be punished, not petted!

**Now Sonic was running through the jungle. He noticed Buster and managed to dodge a gooey spray in time, but he slipped on a puddle of slime and fell anyway. Buster gave him some licks that he clearly didn't appreciate.**

**Knuckles was on the beach lifting weights on a bench. The dog suddenly showed up and drooled in the echidna's face. Knuckles lost control of the bar and wriggled uncomfortably underneath it.**

**Tails was working in his workshop, but a ball falling from above distracted him. Buster jumped from the rafters after the ball, causing it to bounce into the air. Buster caught and ate the ball, spraying Tails once he was finished. The kit looked more than irritated.**

While Eggman still hated the little pet, he had acquired some respect for it. The dog managed to annoy the crap out of Team Sonic, and the doctor did feel infinitesimally better after watching that.

**The crew were now sitting at a table at an outdoor restaurant with food in front of them. Everyone was irked and slimed except Sticks, who was as happy as can be.**

" **Who's a hungry little Cluster?" The badger baby-talked her pet. "Who's a hungry-wungry Cluster-Wuster, huh?"**

" **Would Buster like a french fry?" Tails held up a thinly slice potato covered with goo. "I don't want any. They've got** _ **slime**_ **on 'em!"**

**Sticks waved him off. "Ah-na-na-na! We only eat organic garbage now." She held the dog up. "Don't we, Buster?"**

"Can _someone_ take that thing away from her and throw it in the _trash?"_ Shadow snarled. "That stupid voice she makes is ticking me the hell _off_."

For once, Amy had to agree with him.

" **Help!" The group of friends looked in the direction of a worker sprinting out of a nearby warehouse. "Someone is robbing the DangerCo Deadly Equipment Warehouse! Seriously, help!"**

**An explosion came from the building, and Orbot and Cubot exit out of it. They were wearing crude masks of Sonic and Tails.**

Knuckles, who had gotten over the unfairness of the fact that hedgehogs could only hit hedgehogs – he would get Sonic back really good when they got out – was actually worried about the state of this village. Whoever had let those robots in thinking that they were Sonic and Tails needed some help. A lot of help.

Too bad Team Sonic needed work as well. It was like the blind leading the blind.

Well, maybe not to that extreme, but it couldn't be argued that there were a couple things… _off_ about that world.

" **Cybernetic tentacles? Check!" Cubot shouted. "Deadly nanobots? Check! Evil spare parts? Check!"**

**A swarm of Bee Bots hovered out of the building, carrying a net holding the mentioned parts.**

**Cubot was impressed. "Ah, these people have everything."**

**Sonic ran over to them, gaining their attention. Orbot pointed. "Look, it's Sonic. Let's grab the boxes and go."**

" **Henchbots! You take care of them!" Cubot ordered before fleeing.**

"I bet Buster is going to make things ten times harder for us," Sonic stated.

Tails nodded in agreement. "You don't have to bet anything, Sonic, because it's definitely going to happen."

**The flying robots zoomed at Sonic, and he attempted to swat them away. When Tails, Knuckles, and Amy joined him, he told them, "They've gone 'round back. Someone stop them!"**

" **I've got 'em!" Knuckles jogged in that direction, but was stopped by more Bee Bots. Amy and Tails were in the same position, swatting away at the metallic insects.**

Watching this was almost painful for Amy. "They need to stop swatting and start attacking! Where's my twin's hammer? Bring out the hammer!"

Metal Sonic was wondering why the alternates were holding back as well. Those striped mechs seemed to be lower level machines. Metal almost desired to belong in that world, for he would have _been_ eliminated his copy because the other Sonic was pathetic. Since that was the case however, it meant that Metal's double had to be nearly useless.

…Was he actually a toaster?

**Sticks walked over, carrying Buster.**

**Sonic noticed her. "Quick, Sticks, run around back and head 'em off."**

" **I don't want to put Buster in danger!" She argued. "Besides, it's his walk time."**

**The badger leashed Buster while Sonic looked on in disbelief. He then spin dashed into two of the bees. After landing, he spotted Orbot and Cubot leaving with more boxes. Sonic rushed over to the pair, but the robotic pup escaped from Sticks and ran that way as well. The blue hero tripped over Buster and had a good taste of dirt. To his disgust, Buster came and licked his cheek.**

Despite how funny it was to watch Sonic eat shit, Shadow was highly impatient and needed this just to _end_. "Metal Sonic, how long until this episode is over?"

A beat passed before the robot answered. "There are approximately five minutes and thirty seconds left."

"We basically still got half of this episode to go?" Knuckles asked incredulously. He seriously wished the phrase 'time flies' applied here. He wanted this one to be over with already. Unlike the ones before that were somewhat interesting – with the world building and the hilarious shipping and what not – this one was just annoying.

"Five minutes isn't that long. We can do this!" Amy encouraged them, even though she desired to be done with this episode as well. That dog was totally sickening and she never wanted to see it again.

**They were back in Tails' house.**

" **We have to talk," Amy said sternly, hands on her hips.**

**Sticks, sitting on a chair holding Buster, was severely concerned. "Oh no…"**

**Sonic nodded solemnly. "I'm afraid so, Sticks…"**

Tails perked up. "Are they going to finally tell her to let him go?"

"Yeah." Knuckles sighed. "But the more important question is whether she's going to do it." And from the way things had been going...probably not.

**Sticks pointed at them. "You brought him a Cluster sock for our one week anniversary, but you didn't know I already made him one." She held up a sock with a bone stitched into it.**

" **No!" Amy exclaimed, temper rising. "Buster's getting in the way of everything!"**

" **He ruined our chance to stop those robots." Knuckles chimed in.**

" **Ugh, he got slime all over my equipment!" Tails complained before looking down where Buster was drooling all over his feet.**

**Sticks was growing angry as well. "First you say you want me to have a pet, then you say you** _**don't** _ **want me to have a pet. I know what's going on here." She waved her hands in the air. "A massive government mind-control experiment!"**

The room collectively groaned.

"I dislike her. Hate her, even." Shadow spat.

"Right there with you." The echidna bobbed his head over at him.

Sonic frowned at them. "C'mon guys, don't be so harsh. We haven't gotten time to get used to her! Yeah, she's… _unique_ but…but uh…" His voice decreased to a whisper that the others still could clearly hear. "Tails, help me out here."

The fox floundered for a bit. "But they have to keep her around for a good reason, right? She has to be a good friend!"

Amy nodded. "He's right! I bet she's done great things that we don't know about!"

Knuckles grumbled to himself, _guessing_ that he shouldn't judge so harshly so soon.

"I still hate her."

Shadow wasn't easily swayed, however.

**Amy blinked before recovering. "That's…one theory. The other is we just want you to discipline him. Show some-" The pinkette shrieked when she realized that Buster somehow got on top of her head, his goo dripping right in her face. She frantically shook the pup and the slime off. "** _**Forget it!** _ **Either Buster goes, or we do!"**

"Yes!" Amy cheered. "Put your foot down! Fur products are _expensive!_ "

**Sticks huffed and picked up her pet. "Well, if Buster goes, I go! And** _**I'm** _ **not going!"**

" **Oh," Sonic said flatly, "I guess that means** _ **we**_ **go."**

**Him, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy begin to leave, but then Tails paused when he opened the front door. "Wait." The fox turned around, realization hitting him. "This is** _**my** _ **house."**

**Eggman's head suddenly popped out from behind the doorframe. "Oh hello!" He waved. "I was just stopping by with a present for your little cluster." The human held out a giftwrapped box.**

Sonic's lips twitched downwards. "So Eggy _knew_ that Sticks had the robot? Oh yeah, this was _all_ him! Now if I was in that situation, I would've trashed the bot as soon as he had shown his ugly bald head." The glare from Eggman didn't faze him one bit. "But I highly doubt that's going to happen."

Tails couldn't help but to agree, but, "I still have hope for them! Maybe they'll throw Eggman's gift right back in his face!"

**Most of Team Sonic blinked in surprise while Sticks beamed. "A present? For Buster?"**

**Eggman stepped inside the house. "Since little Buster here was created in my lab, I still feel like a father to him."**

**Sonic pointed at the man. "** _**You** _ **created Buster?"**

Sonic resisted the urge to facepalm. "Who _else_ would've?!"

"Maybe there's another evil genius in proximity to their village who makes robots for the sole reason to build an empire, stopping anyone who gets in his way…?" Tails prompted.

Knuckles gave the kit a long look. "Somehow…I doubt that."

" **I did!" Eggman confirmed. "And now I want to give him this little present!" He opened the box, revealing a white metallic bone.**

**The blue hedgie creased his brow. "Wait a minute. Are you** _**sure** _ **this Cluster isn't just another evil robot built to destroy-"**

**Buster then jumped out of Sticks' arms and chomped down on the bone.**

"The fact that they fell for this my double's scheme is astounding." Eggman was almost awed at how slow the 'fastest thing alive' was in the other reality. He had become suspicious _way_ too late. If only that trait transferred over to the Sonic on the couch…but then it would be _way_ too easy. He wanted to rightfully earn his victory.

"Maybe he isn't dumb after all?" Amy couldn't believe she was saying that.

"No. He is still inadequate." Metal argued. "However, so are his opponents. They are…" He pulled the correct phrase out of his database. "…playing on the same insufficient and rather pitiful level."

"Hey, hey, guys." Sonic held up a hand, a lightbulb going off in his mind. "We should stop reamin' them…because maybe they haven't had as much experience with the whole 'saving the world thing' as we have."

"That could be it…" Knuckles muttered, seeing the lack of experience a reason for their behavior.

"That has to be it!" Sonic nodded. "If not…then I've got nothin'."

**Eggman followed Buster outside, where he was sitting and enjoying his toy. "No, it's not an evil robot! It's an evil** _**Slime** _ **bot!" He pointedly gestured to the small mech. "It's a totally different thing. A Slime bot is a robot covered in disgusting goo."**

**Buster ate the bone whole, and he grew to a monstrous size, many tentacles wiggling out of his sides. His eyes were a dangerous red now.**

**Sonic batted away a tentacle when it got too close. "Is that the tentacle you stole from the warehouse?"**

Shadow rolled his eyes. "No, it came from the damn tentacle store."

**Eggman scoffed. "Oh please. I used that tentacle as a backscratcher. When I was done scratching, I used it to build him."**

**Buster suddenly attacked the azure speedster, and Sonic managed to dodge all of the dog-hybrid's swings before rejoining his group. "Hey guys, I think I'm gonna need a little help with the Cluster here."**

**Sticks gasped. "No! Don't make me hurt my beloved Buster!"**

Knuckles folded his arms and leaned back into the cushion. "Saw that coming a mile away."

"I sorta understand her though… She had bonded with him – the disgusting death machine that he is – so of course she'd be like that." Amy mused. "Think about if it was Cream! If Cheese tried to kill us, she wouldn't be all for it either!"

"…Cheese doesn't have gross octopus limbs spouting out of him, though." Tails pointed out.

"True…" Amy tapped her chin. "But you still see my point right?

No one wanted to admit it, but yeah, they did. It didn't make the dog any less annoying though.

**Knuckles stepped up. "Well, I never liked him much." The echidna bravely charged the monstrous dog, punching the ground and creating a shock wave. Buster wasn't effected; he approached the red one menacingly. Knuckles backed away warily. "Did I say 'never liked'? I meant 'never got to know'." He gasped when a tentacle yanked him off the ground.**

**Amy pulled out her hammer. "All right, Buster! The hammer's coming down!" She ran forward but was seized as well.**

" **Or** _ **up**_ **, as the case may-" Tails couldn't finish, for he was snatched too.**

"He kinda deserves that for that quip." Sonic admitted before changing the subject. "But in other news, that pup is really kicking their butts."

Knuckles shook his head in exasperation. "It's just sad. We've fought monstrosities a _hundred_ times more intimidating and dangerous than that glorified pet!"

"Experience, Knux!" Sonic reminded, wagging a finger. "They lack it!"

Red opticals found him. "That is just what you assume, copy. They could just be incompetent and dysfunctional. More than you tend to be."

Whatever Sonic was going to say was wiped away by that jab. "Hey! _I'm_ not the one tied up and filled with confetti!" The hedgehog smirked. "If that's not dysfunctional, I don't know what is."

A sound came from Metal that sounded like a growl. "My current state is temporary. Once I am freed-"

"What?" Sonic asked flippantly. "You're gonna suffocate me with those party papers?" He chuckled while Tails looked unsure.

"Don't give him ideas, Sonic!"

**As Eggman laughed victoriously, Sonic raced around Buster before leaping and landing on the edge of a nearby table. It flipped through the air and completely severed one of the dog's tentacles.**

**The blue blur stood proudly. "Ah ha!" But then all confidence drained out of him when the limb suddenly grew back, causing him to duck. "Uh oh…" He tried to put distance between himself and the pup, but he was grabbed.**

" **Good boy, Clusterbot!" Eggman praised before gesturing to Sticks. "Now…Get her!"**

**Buster snarled at the badger as he closed in.**

"Okay…" Knuckles began. "Either she's going to be the one who destroys him, or he's not going to attack her at all."

"Buster's definitely going to leave her alone!" Sonic said confidently, "That's how it always goes!"

Shadow glared at his neighbor. "Did you forget that it is _Eggman's_ robot? They don't feel."

"I feel hatred, anger, and the occasional loathing."

The striped one ignored Metal. "She's going to have to tear it apart."

A sly grin grew on the azure hedgie's muzzle. "Wanna bet?"

"No."

"Come on!" Sonic poked him in his side, and Shadow's mood darkened considerably. "If I win…" He pointed in the direction of the kitchen. "You clean up the mess you made! And if you win…"

Shadow glared at him. The only thing he wanted was to get the hell out of here, but since the chances of that were next to none, he went with the second best choice. "If I win, I get to use you as a footstool."

That…Sonic didn't expect. But he wasn't one to back down. "Deal!"

" **Sticks!" Sonic called. "Buster won't attack you!"**

**Sticks cooed. "Aw, that's sweet!"**

**The blue blur shook his head. "No! I mean if there is any way you can stop him, now's the time!" He winced when the tentacle squeezed tighter around him.**

" **Buster, don't do this." Sticks commanded gingerly. "You're good inside! Remember all the times we had!"**

**There was a flashback. Sticks and Buster were running on a beach, then they were dancing together, then the badger was teaching the pup to hop through a hoop, and finally they were exploring ancient ruins.**

**In the present, Buster shook his head before resuming to growl.**

" **Yeah…" Sticks admitted. "I don't remember any of that either."**

"Whoa whoa wait!" Tails waved his hands in the air. "That doesn't make any sense! They both saw flashbacks that weren't actually real? What just happened?"

"Good question." Knuckles mumbled. "Too bad we won't get any answers."

Sonic was worried about something else. He wished that those memories had been true! Then it would be more likely that Buster wouldn't attack. He did _not_ want to become a foot slave!

Shadow was thinking about how comfortable he was going to get soon.

" **And now my clustery friend, finish them!" A smug Eggman ordered.**

**Buster brought Tails closer to his mouth. "Uh oh…" The kit whined.**

**Sticks gritted her teeth and shouted. "Buster! No!" The dog looked at her in surprise. "No eat friends! Bad Cluster!** _**Bad** _ **Cluster!" Buster seemed guilty, wilting under her harsh words.**

Shadow cursed to himself.

**Eggman didn't expect this. "What? No! Good Cluster! Eat friends!"**

**Sticks held up a finger. "Buster…sit!"**

" **No! Stand!" The human opposed. "Be evil!"**

**The badger glared at the pup, who eventually sat down.**

" _This_ is why you don't program robots with feelings!" Eggman grumbled even though the other couldn't hear him. "So they won't betray you!" He finished, glaring briefly at Metal who was oblivious to it.

Sonic fist pumped. "Yeah, I won!" He focused on his scowling neighbor. "Better get a broom ready, Shads!"

Shadow wanted to explode. Again.

**Buster's eyes were green once more, and he gently placed the rest of Team Sonic on the ground. Sticks smirked as she looked at Eggman. "Buster? Take out the trash!"**

**The giant dog rushed the human. Eggman attempted to run away, but he was caught and slung around.**

" **No!" Eggman cried out as he was flung far far away. "I'm never making one of these agaiiiinnnn!" He disappeared into the distance.**

**Sticks held her hand out. "Now give the bone back."**

**Buster spat out the metallic bone and reverted back to his old tiny self.**

**The badger patted him with a smile. "Good Cluster!" She then got slimed in the face. The rest of her friends recoil before laughing. Sticks smiled sheepishly.**

Amy shuddered. "That seriously can't smell good." She was glad smell-o-vision hadn't been invented yet, or else she wouldn't have made it through this episode.

**They were on the beach now.**

**Sticks was scratching under the pup's chin. "Buster…it turns out you were an evil robot, so…maybe you're not pet material. I guess this is goodbye." She placed a hobo pack on Buster, who started to trot off.**

"She's letting him go?" Tails was shocked. After all that? "Plot twist."

**The badger waved sadly. "Have fun out there in the big world." Buster simply barked in response.**

" **Hey guys!" The friends turned to see Tails patting an octopus. "I found a giant octopus! Think I can keep him?"**

Sonic slowly blinked. "What? Did he find a stray octopus…on land?"

"It's…best not to question it," Knuckles advised lowly.

**The sea creature then swallowed the fox whole, burping back up the kit's goggles. His friends all gape until a hand stuck out of the octopus' mouth. "Changed my mind. Help!"**

Eggman narrowed his eyes. "He should be dead."

Tails' cheeks were a bit pale. "I'm glad he's not, but…yeah…"

Amy watched as the screen faded to black. "Guess that was the end!" She was happy that they've knocked out another episode, but she was somewhat disappointed in the lack of dates. They had to come later, she assumed.

"About time," Knuckles groused.

Metal realized that something was missing from the show. "I was not present in the episode. Why am I forced to watch if I did not make an appearance?"

"Welcome to my world." Shadow growled as he stood up to make his way to the kitchen. He glared hotly when Sonic patted him on the back. The striped anthro huffed before stomping into the other room, inwardly regretting letting his temper control him earlier.

The place was a mess. Glass was everywhere.

Shadow startled in surprise when a broom suddenly appeared in his right hand. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist so hard that he snapped the handle in half. Another broom quickly took its place, and accompanying it was a dustpan, which was gripped in his left hand.

"If you can make things appear, why can't you make this _mess_ disappear?!" He snapped at the _thing._

There was no answer except, "No cheating Shads!" Sonic's voice filtered in from the other room. "And hurry up! Can't start the next one without ya!"

Shadow heavily sighed and accepted his fate, getting to work.


	6. Chapter 6

When Shadow finished with his gruesome chore, he threw the broom and dust pan in a random direction because he honestly didn't care and left the kitchen to rejoin the others.

All of the attention was on him, and to his extreme irritation, Metal Sonic was the first to speak up. "It is about time that you returned. The completion of my prime objective had been prolonged because of you."

A single twitch of an eye was Metal's only warning before his head was brutally ripped off his shoulders. Disturbed confetti became airborne again in Shadow's wake. The robot's body slumped over in a shower of sparks, and Shadow stared at the metallic skull in his hand with disdain.

Eggman rose a subtle brow. "I should be upset that you decapitated my robot with one move, but at this point, I feel the opposite." Now it went back to being only one Sonic making his life miserable.

Tails and Amy had yelped at the violent action. They didn't know what to think. On one hand, the potential danger wasn't a concern anymore; however, one wrong word and they could face Shadow's wrath. They wisely wouldn't speak until it was clear that the striped one had calmed down. If only Sonic had that sense of self-preservation…

"Aw Shads! Who am I gonna tag team with to embarrass Eggman now?" Sonic complained, throwing his hands in the air. A teasing grin grew on his muzzle. "But he was kinda right Shadow. Did you _really_ think that you were gonna win that bet? I mean c'mon-" He was then knocked unconscious when Metal's head smashed against his.

That was the best thing Eggman's seen all day.

"Sonic!" Amy gasped, standing up from the couch. She sent the limp speedster a worried look before glaring at Shadow. Nevermind saving herself, he had hurt Sonic…again! She was _so_ going to get Shadow back for this! When the striped 'hog returned her glare a thousand times over, she wilted a bit. She was so going to get him back…at a later date. She had to take a raincheck on this one.

Tails stood as well, but before either of them moved toward the knocked-out motor mouth, Knuckles said, "I got this." The echidna pushed himself up and approached the azure hedgie. The guardian smirked down at Sonic. He was about to get his revenge _and_ help the other out. This was the perfect opportunity. The _thing_ couldn't be mad at him.

The hard slap that came next was _extremely_ satisfying.

Tails, who was sitting back down, winced like he was the one who had been hit. "Knuckles!" He whined, worried about his brother's steadily decreasing brain cell count. "Not you too!"

Knuckles shrugged as Sonic groaned in pain. "He had it coming."

"Oh man…" Sonic groused as he rubbed where Shadow had launched Metal. His words were somewhat slurred. "What hit me...twice?" He asked, touching where Knuckles had slapped him with his other hand, dazed. His brain eventually came back online, and he looked at Knuckles, then at Metal's severed head on the floor, and then at Shadow. Sonic's lips twitched downwards. "You guys are the _worst_ friends! I need a refund!"

"We aren't _friends_." Shadow snarled from the depths of his dark soul before taking Knuckles' formerly occupied seat beside a suddenly anxious Tails.

Knuckles huffed as he plopped down by Sonic. "Somebody has to teach you to shut up."

"By slapping me when I'm _unconscious?_ "

"The best lesson." The echidna ignored Sonic's indignant pout and picked up the remote Shadow left behind. He was about to press the button to play 'My fair Sticksy' – great. Another episode all about _her_ – but he froze when Metal Sonic's head blinked out of existence and reappeared attached to his body lying on the ground.

Metal rebooted, his red opticals flashing, and he sat back up. He touched his neck – the collar was stubborn – before turning to a bewildered Shadow. "Be lucky that I am restrained, for now I have obtained a grudge against you, Ultimate Lifeform."

Shadow was done with everything. "My life is a sick joke."

"I guess the thing really wants him to watch, huh?" Sonic chuckled only to cringe when a dull pain throbbed. "Dang it Shadow, did you really-"

"Yes."

"If it can just put Metal back together like that…does it have actual healing abilities too?" Tails questioned, tapping his chin.

"Let's just assume that every question regarding _it_ is yes," Eggman said with a sour look. His time without Metal had been too brief. He didn't get a chance to enjoy it properly.

Amy tilted her head. "What about 'Can it let us out right now?'"

"It can, but it won't." Knuckles grunted before letting the show play.

**The scene started with meteors raining out of the sky, sending the villagers into a panic. Sonic and crew were standing by some steps, watching with mouths agape.**

Tails, who was putting as much space between him and Shadow as possible – he almost had died once; he didn't want to go through that again – fought to keep his focus on the screen at not on his striped neighbor. "Meteor shower? That's uh…new. How in the world are they going to stop that?"

Amy, completely understanding why the kit was basically in her lap, drew a blank. "…By making a wish?"

**Amy was the only one smiling. "Meteors are shooting stars. We shouldn't be running." She did a little dance. "We should be making wishes! I wish for a pony!"**

All eyes found Rose, and the pinkette face-palmed. "Not _that_ kind of wish!" People could be getting hurt, buildings could be getting destroyed, and she wanted a pony? Her other self _had_ to learn how to prioritize. Peoples' safety, then a perfect romantic relationship with Sonic, and _then_ a pony.

**Sonic gave her a side-glance. "And I wish you'd take cover." He grabbed the pinkette's wrist and ran off, Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks following after them.**

**Now under the shelter of a building, Amy frowned at Sonic with her arms crossed. "How come** _**your** _ **wish came true?"**

**Sonic just smirked to himself.**

Sonic furrowed his brow, inwardly hissing when that action sparked pain. Seriously, was it beat up Sonic day or something? "His came true because…I don't know…he didn't want to be flattened by a meteor and just _moved_?"

"The other Amy is weird." Knuckles observed, bouncing his knee up and down. "One day she's reasonable, another day she's as crazy as a singing juggler, and now…"

Amy couldn't help to agree. "Yeah! We can see that the other Sonic is inexperienced perfection, the other Tails is smart like the one here, the other Knuckles is dumb, and Sticks is a paranoid mess. The other me is all over the place!"

Knuckles snorted. "Well, she surely isn't the crazed fangirl we all know."

Amy materialized her hammer. "What was _that?_ "

The echidna had to learn to stop badmouthing her before he ended up like Sonic. "Nothing."

" **Should I use my meteor defense system?" Sticks suggested.**

**Tails rose a brow. "You have a** _**meteor defense** _ **system?"**

Knuckles sighed. "Of course she does."

**The badger confidently nodded. "I have defense systems for all sorts of junk!" She tapped levers that were suddenly nearby. "Wildfires, floods, people trying to read my thoughts…"**

Sonic blinked. Wow. "Okay Knux, I take back what I said about her just being unique. She's flyin' circles over the cuckoo's nest."

The echidna nodded. "That's what I'm saying!"

Tails agreed, but he also thought that the badger was almost on to something. "UT could read her thoughts…"

"She threw that thing into the ocean though," Sonic responded. "And plus, she said people, not robots!"

Tails couldn't refute that. "Right…"

**Sonic decided to ignore that last part. "Yeah, start with the meteor one!"**

**Sticks aimed at an incoming meteor before pulling a lever. Multiple large paddles were released, and they swatted the rocks, sending them away.**

"That's not…how science works," Tails muttered to himself. Because of the velocity of the meteors, their heavy masses, and the gravitational pull, those 'defense mechanisms' should have been destroyed!

"This outcome is improbable." Metal examined the situation. "The chances of meteors being perfectly lined up to those immobile mechanisms were slim to none. The more possible outcome is the meteors crashing into the earth below, creating massive craters, and killing all who is in the vicinity with their rotting remains littered around."

Sonic favored _not_ imagining his dead body. "Thanks for that imagery, Metal. Really appreciate it."

"I detect sarcasm."

The azure speedster rolled his eyes. " _No_ …I just _love_ picturing myself and all my friends as corpses in the middle of a ruined village."

"…There it is again."

"If only they had actually died." Shadow grumbled, tired of hearing those two go at it. Tired of being awake. Tired of being tired. "Then the show would be over and I could go _home._ "

Amy frowned at him. Looked like Shadow needed to work on his priorities too.

" **The 'people trying to read my thoughts' one is exactly the same, but with tinfoil trim." Sticks explained.**

Tails was going to question it, but then he realized that he shouldn't have expected anything else.

**Most of the group were lounging around Tails' house now.**

**Sticks strolled in through the front door, carrying a letter. She held it up. "Someone left this at my house."**

**Sonic paused sipping on his juice and said dryly, "Yeah, the mailman. It's a letter?"**

" **Letter, huh?" The badger sniffed the envelope. "I don't know. Paper folded over itself? What's it hiding? What's it** _ **hiding?**_ **"**

Knuckles deadpanned. "Another piece of paper." Someone _please_ help this girl.

Amy frowned at the screen. "Was that…her first time getting mail?"

"It has to be!" Sonic absently tapped his foot. "There's no other reason why she doesn't know how an envelope works!"

**Amy went over and grabbed the letter from her. The pinkette opened it and gasped in surprise. "Sticks, you've been nominated for an Awardy Award!"**

" **They really need a better name for that thing," Tails muttered to himself.**

" **Ooo, lemme see!" Knuckles snatched the paper, donned reading glasses, and looked closely. "Oh wait. I can't read."**

Knuckles sunk low in the couch, ignoring Sonic's chuckles. He threw his hands in the air. "Of _course_ he can't read! Why would he? It's icing on top of the big stupid cake!" He was calling it. He was going to lose his mind before this marathon was over.

Eggman crossed his arms. "At least you're not destined to watch another version of you fail over and over again, rodent."

Knuckles rose a dubious brow. "Really? Yeah, the other doctor is stupid too, but at least he's a _literate_ stupid!"

"…Touché."

**Now Sonic had possession of the paper. "Gimme that." He then read off what it said. "'In honor of saving our village, the Mayor cordially invites you to the Awardies.' Huh." He smiled. "Conveniently, you can also bring your four closest pals."**

**Everyone looked at Sticks, excited, including Comedy Chimp, who showed up out of nowhere.**

Sonic scrunched up his nose. "That bad comedian is there now? What, are they seriously friends with him?"

Tails shook his head. "How could they be friends with someone who tells those awful jokes all the time?"

"You're friends with faker." Shadow grunted.

Sonic bristled as he ego was knocked down another level. "I've taken enough hits already!"

"Yeah…" Tails seriously couldn't stop himself from saying, "We don't have enough aloe for those burns."

Sonic gasped at the kit, who was trying to hide his mirth. "You…would stoop so low…to betray your own family? I thought what we had was _special!_ "

"Sorry Sonic! Your jokes aren't always…the best, that's all!"

The hero began to sulk, muttering about foxes and their terrible sense of humor.

**Sonic looked at the odd-one-out. "Sorry, Comedy Chimp."**

**The ape sighed and left.**

" **Now where was I?" The speedster cleared his throat and continued, "'The Awardies will be at the Mayor's Mansion. You'll dine on-' Oh." Sonic was pleasantly surprised. "'-elegant food and mingle with elegant guests. After which the Awardy Award will be awarded to the winner. Which could be you!'"**

"A fancy dinner at a mayor's mansion?" Amy pondered aloud. "That doesn't seem like an Eggman-y scheme…"

A spark of hope fluttered in the doctor's chest. "I would be _immensely_ relieved if the other me isn't in this episode. I'm sick of seeing his failures."

"Your life is a failure, doctor." Metal glanced at him. "You should be used to it by now."

Eggman was seeing red. "I did not ask you _Metal!_ " He then rubbed his temples, his headache coming back. What had his life become?

**Sticks was dejected. "I…can't make it."**

" **What?" Amy questioned. "Why not?"**

" **Well, you know… I'm slammed this week!" Sticks opened a datebook. "'Tuesday: Rummage through garbage. Wednesday: Rummage through garbage. Thursday: Get tetanus shot. Friday: Rummage through garbage.'" She shut the book. "I'm booked solid!"**

"Ew." Amy fanned her nose, just thinking of the smell was making her queasy. "How can she – and _they_ – stand the smell?"

"I'm sure she takes showers…" Tails guessed. "Hopefully. And she has to like the odor if she's doing it nearly every day."

" **This is the honor of a lifetime!" Amy tried to convince her.**

**Tails decided to help Rose out. "You might even win a shiny trophy! You love shiny things…"**

**Sticks clasped her hands together. "I do love shiny things…" She then shook her head vehemently. "But no. No! Nuh-uh! Nah!"**

Sonic snickered. "So…she has a bit of Rouge in her too, huh?"

Tails joined him. "Sure does!"

The hero suddenly stopped laughing to throw the kit a weak glare and to stick his tongue out at him. Sonic then pointedly looked away.

Tails inwardly sighed. Wasn't _he_ supposed to be the little brother here?

**Amy understood what was happening here. "Sticks…are you afraid to go?"**

" **Afraid? No! Of course not! No way. Nuh-uh. Nope." She was suddenly bashful. "…A little."**

**Amy's voice was comforting. "Sticks, there's nothing to fear."**

" **Look at me! I'm a feral badger!" Sticks gestured to herself. "I'll embarrass myself!"**

"Aw, I feel bad for her!" Amy commented. "She's nervous!"

"She even called herself feral…" Knuckles mumbled. "How far away does she live from the village? It can't be that far."

"It doesn't matter how far it is!" Amy argued. "She still lives in a jungle, which is the _complete_ opposite of a fancy-smancy gathering!" She calmed down some. "Sticks is gonna need a lot of work…"

" **Who cares what people think?" Sonic asked.**

" **Yeah! Everyone at these parties is a windbag anyway." Knuckles turned to Sonic and acquired a snobbish tone. "What a robust mustache you have, Colonel Grumpkin."**

**Sonic mimicked his voice, bowing. "Why thank you, Madame Stinkbottom." They both laughed at their joke.**

"They have a point…" Sonic wondered aloud. "But they could have delivered that a different way because that was _bad._ What accents were those anyway?"

"Who knows?" Knuckles muttered distastefully.

The blue blur gestured at the TV. "My jokes can't be worse than that, can they?"

There was silence, and Sonic knew he just needed to stop asking.

" **Don't worry. You'll be fine." Amy put her hands on her hips, radiating confidence. "I'll teach you to be a lady."**

" **A…lady? That's the thing that holds garbage, right?" Sticks guessed.**

" **No." The pinkette corrected. "A lady is a polite, sophisticated member of society, and you can be that!" She put up a finger. "Lesson one: Don't discuss garbage."**

"A lady defines as a polite, sophisticated member of society?" Metal peered back at Amy. "Then you cannot possibly be one, so are you a male?"

Tails caught Amy's arm before she jumped out of her seat and pounded the robot into the floor with her hammer. "Calm down Amy! Whatever you do to Metal won't be permanent!" The pinkette still looked downright scary, futilely jerking her wrist. "If you don't sit down, you'll be proving him right!"

That did it. Amy took a deep breath and audibly exhaled before taking her seat. "I am a _lady_." She snapped at the mech. "Don't forget it!"

"But the stated definition of a lady is-"

"I am _ignoring_ you!"

**Sticks deadpanned. "I'm out."**

" **Come on!" Amy encouraged. "You can do this!"**

**The badger eventually caved, sighing. "Okay… I'll try."**

**Amy cheered. "Great! A proper lady requires an escort for the gala."**

**Comedy Chimp suddenly reappeared at the doorway with a hopeful grin. Everyone silently stared at him. The grin faded away. "Why do I even bother with you guys?" He left again.**

"…He's totally desperate, isn't he?" Sonic questioned, and the room agreed with him.

**Amy then turned to Sonic, and the blue hedgehog flatly denied. "No."**

" **Please?" Sticks pleaded. "I don't wanna embarrass myself in front of fancy folk!"**

" **Eh…" Sonic gave in. "Fine. But I'm not wearing pants!"**

Eggman growled, glancing down at his boxer shorts. "I _wish_ that I was wearing pants."

Sonic snorted. "We all do Eggy, so don't think you're the only one sufferin' here."

"Forget about the pants!" Amy all but yelled, glaring at the show. "Did the other me just _suggest_ that Sticks and Sonic be partners!? Why couldn't she ask Knuckles to? Or Tails! That would've been so cute!" Before the fox could argue, she continued, "Why would she let Sticks get close like that? Sonic is _her_ man!"

"Maybe it's because she's good friends with Sticks and she trusts her?" Sonic brought up in a small voice, not wanting to set the girl off. He wasn't agreeing with what the pinkette was saying – no one belonged to _anybody_. He was a free spirit, dang it – but a heated Amy wasn't a fun Amy to be around.

Amy narrowed her eyes at him and hummed, reining herself back in and smothering her judgement. For now.

**The badger ran over and hugged him** – a particular pinkette restrained a growl building up in her throat – **"Thank you! Thank you!" She chirped excitedly, while Sonic seemed to be missing that level of energy.**

**Amy was ready to get started. "If you want to be a lady, you'll have to train hard. You up for it?"**

" **Yes!" Sticks faced her. "I only have one question." She held out a snail. "Can I take this snail with me?"**

"What?" Tails asked.

Knuckles rubbed his forehead. "I'm seriously giving up on her."

**The two girls were now in Amy's home.**

" **When meeting someone new, start with a compliment," Amy said. "Try saying something nice about their perfume."**

**Sticks began sniffing the other all over, not noticing how uncomfortable Amy was. "You don't stink," the badger declared when she was done.**

**Amy hesitantly smiled.**

Sonic allowed a small smirk. "To be fair…she did what Amy said."

Knuckles was doubtful. "I think that was more of a stated fact."

Metal decided speak up. "Compliment: a polite expression of praise and admiration."

The echidna nodded. "Okay…so Sonic, get this." He cleared his throat. "'Sonic, you do a great job in protecting Station Square.' That's a compliment." He then forced his voice to be level and toneless. "'Sonic, you don't run slow.' That's not a compliment. It's a statement."

The azure speedster's lopsided grin grew. "But aren't all compliments just statements with a little admiration sprinkled on top?"

"No! They aren't-" Knuckles paused when the realization hit him.

Tails snickered louder than normal, and he figured that Sonic had stopped the cold shoulder treatment when the blue hero joined with him. Sonic just needed a bit of an ego boost, that's all. "He's got you there, Knuckles."

The guardian rolled his eyes, over this. "Whatever. Compliment or not, Sticks isn't good at it."

**They were now outside the house. Sonic had joined them.**

**Sticks was holding onto the blue blur's arm, preparing themselves to practice an elegant entrance.**

Amy may or may not be frothing at the mouth.

**Amy was standing to the side, watching. She held up a stopwatch. "And…go!" She began the timer.**

**Sonic and Sticks shared a brief look before strolling forward. When a cardboard cutout of a 'fancy' person popped up, Sticks gestured to Sonic. "This is my male consort." The standee didn't respond, staring blankly. The badger put up her fists. "And if you don't like him, I'll knock you out!"**

**Amy shook her head in disappointment. "No, Sticks. Ladies don't fight."**

"Oh yes they do!" The pinkette strongly opposed, radiating a dangerous aura that got Tails thinking that he was trapped between a rock and a hard place. "They _do_ fight! Especially the girl hanging off her boyfriend!" She threw Metal a pointed look. "In a polite and sophisticated manor, of course!"

Metal shook his head. "I still believe that you aren't-"

"I am a _lady_!" Amy roared before facing Sonic, giving him a twitchy smile. "Right, Sonikku?" She asked too sweetly.

The speedster gave a hesitant thumbs up. "D-Definitely Ames. No doubt about it!"

Now Amy felt validated. If her one and only agreed with her, then she didn't have to listen to anyone else's opinion!

Eggman blinked in shock before leaning closer to his archrival and whispering, "Forget about me. _She's_ the real evil in your life."

Only when Amy had looked away from him did Sonic respond. "She's actually a great friend when she's not so… _intense._ "

**The females were now sitting on the pinkette's soft couch. They were both holding tea cups.**

" **When in doubt, pinkies out," Amy recited, raising said finger as she took a sip.**

**Sticks extended her pinky, and the hedgehog nodded proudly. However, then Sticks started lapping up the tea like a dog.**

Even though he felt bad, Tails couldn't help his chuckles. "The other Amy's trying so hard, and yet…"

"Sonic will never choose her if she drinks out of a cup like that," Amy said smugly.

Tails was confused. "Weren't you defending her earlier?"

"She and I have a complicated relationship."

**The scene changed to Tails' home. Knuckles was playing a piano peacefully, Tails was in charge of the drums, and Amy was directing Sticks and Sonic through a dance.**

Tails and Knuckles shared a confused look, for neither of them had touched those instruments _once_ in their entire lives.

" **One, two, step. One, two, turn." Amy gestured with her hands, the dancing duo following her steps perfectly. "One, two, step. One, two, dip."**

Sonic fully expected Amy to angrily point out that the other him dancing with Sticks was against everything she stood for or something, but the pinkette was momentarily relaxed, raising at brow at him. "Sonic? Can you dance like that?"

Breakdance. Yes. Whatever that fancy crap was. No. "Uh…N-"

He didn't get chance to fully answer before the pinkette giggled. "Really? Then I could teach you later! It's easy enough!" She saw the window of opportunity to bond with Sonic and she jumped right through it. Wait a minute, if she waited later…as in after they escaped later, then he would just run away. That wouldn't do… "How about I teach you something now? Pausing the show for five minutes won't hurt-"

"Think again." Knuckles grunted.

"That isn't a good idea, Amy…" Tails nudged her.

Eggman just glared at her while Metal's opticals flashed. "Pause the video, and you will meet your end."

"Pause the video, and you won't have usable legs to dance on." Shadow threatened.

Despite the fact that Metal and Shadow had pushed it too far, Sonic appreciated their inputs. "Yeah! What they said!"

Since she liked having a pair of legs to stand on, Amy backed off. She didn't feel bad though. While Sonic said no to dancing now, he didn't say that they couldn't do it at all! Yay for young love!

**Sticks, staring up at Sonic, asked, "Why is the music controlling us? I'm not your puppet, music master." She struggled in the hero's grip. "I'm not your puppet!" She freaked out, causing them both to launch into and knock down the fancy backdrop.**

**Sonic groaned. "Yeah, I think she's ready."**

More than glad that Amy had dropped the idea of keeping them in here even _longer_ , Knuckles scoffed at the screen. "I actually want to see how this goes. It can't end well."

"Someone's gonna end up with a snail in their shirt," Sonic added.

**The sun had set, and many people were now entering the Mayor's Mansion for the award ceremony.**

**Inside the large building, Sonic and Sticks were waiting to be introduced at the top of a staircase. The badger was in an elegant black dress, and the hedgehog was wearing a brown cardigan.**

Even though he wasn't wearing pants – the evilest of clothes – the thought of wearing a shirt made Sonic cringe. It wasn't very aerodynamic, and the prospect of sweat accumulating underneath made Sonic want to take a shower.

Unsurprisingly, Amy was thinking the complete opposite, going through ways she could possibly persuade Sonic to dress up sometime.

**Amy, standing at the bottom of the stairs, spread her arms out wide and mimicked the fancy tone of the other guests. "It's my pleasure to introduce the Lady Sticks, and her escort, Sir Sonic of Hedgehog."**

"Her dress is to die for!" The pinkette commented on the other Amy's dress. Maybe if she wore something showier – definitely _not_ the pajamas she had been dumped in here in – then she would catch Sonic's eye? She should ask. "Hey Sonic, would I be more attractive to you if I wore that dress?"

The speedster refused to meet her gaze. "Sonic the hedgehog isn't here right now. Please leave a message after the beep."

She puffed out her cheeks. "Sonic! I asked you a quest-"

"Beep."

**Sonic held out his arm, and Sticks took it with a nervous smile. They descended the stairs with confidence.**

" **Go ahead," Amy whispered to her once they reached the bottom. "You can do it. Start with a compliment."**

**Sticks steeled herself before approaching a mustached ox in a top hat. She sniffed him, gaining his attention. "Such an elegant scent." The badger continued to sniff with the occasional snort. The ox looked highly uncomfortable and disturbed. Amy was severely concerned.**

"She should be…" Tails tapped his chin, a pensive expression on his face. "I wonder if Sticks has gotten any restraining orders?"

"If she doesn't, she'll be getting some tonight." Knuckles drawled.

**On the other side of the room, Knuckles and Sonic approached the serving table. "Finally, some chow!" The speedster exclaimed before eying the options. He wasn't too impressed. "Asparagus crustini? Hempseed quiche? Goat cheese with red ridicio spread?"**

"I know uh…some of those words?" Sonic scratched his head. Food that hard to pronounce _couldn't_ be good.

**Knuckles scoffed. "The hoity-toity stiffs love these tiny nibbles."**

**There was then a sneeze and a yell. The boys whipped their heads in that direction only to see Sticks covering her mouth in guilt and the beaver with a bow tie covered in juice. Amy was facepalming.**

Most of the room laughed.

Knuckles wouldn't mind seeing that beaver on-screen if it meant that he was being sneezed on. "Serves him right for being so annoying."

"Why is seeing that semiaquatic rodent doused with a fruity beverage so entertaining?" Metal questioned, lost.

"It's because of the first episode Metal." Sonic waved him off. "You had to be there."

"He was just irritating as he corrected peoples' grammar." Tails provided.

Metal cocked his head. "There is nothing wrong in urging someone to better their erratic and erred speak patterns."

"Yes there is." Knuckles pointed at the television. "Especially if you do it all the time and if you are that beaver specifically."

" **Uh oh." Sonic sighed. "Gotta go."**

**After he ran off, Knuckles took a bite of the appetizers and immediately spat it back out in disgust. "Ugh… More like goat cheese and red** _**crud** _ **icio spread."**

"Ugh." Knuckles unintentionally mimicked his double, his good mood dissipated.

**There was laughter behind him. The echidna turned around to find two noblemen chuckling. One was an undefinable rodent with a monocle, and the other was a beaver with a sailor hat.**

" **My dear chap, what a marvelously comical witticism." The rodent complimented.**

"They really don't get out much if they thought that was funny," Amy said while twirling a quill.

" **Uh…" Knuckles was clueless. "Red crudicio spread?"**

**The two men laugh again.**

Knuckles wanted this to end. "They're just hyping him up now! He needs to stop, not to keep _going!_ "

" **Sir," the monocled rodent began, "you have the audacity to say what we're all thinking."**

" **You simply must join us." The beaver suggested.**

**Knuckles approached them with an incredulous expression. "Me? Okay! Red crudicio spread!" He repeated with a smirk, causing the other two to laugh once more. The echidna joined in with them this time.**

The guardian held his head in his hands, and Sonic sympathetically patted his shoulder. He would get revenge for the slap later – it was the _perfect_ moment since he wasn't looking – because Knuckles was going through a really tough time.

**The focus was now on Sticks, who was in the process of complimenting a walrus. "Now** _**you** _ **seem prepared for winter!" She rubbed the woman's stomach. "That's one healthy layer of blubber."**

Amy gasped. "She didn't just say that…!"

Tails sighed. "She did."

**The lady was instantly offended. "Well, I never!" She angrily walked off.**

" **Sticks!" Sonic chastised.**

" **What?" She shrugged. "It was a compliment! It's not like I said she** _ **wasn't**_ **prepared for winter!"**

"She just should forget about going back out in public," Amy uttered, embarrassed _for_ her. "She's too far gone."

**The dinging of a glass filled the air, gaining the attention of everyone.**

**It was the Mayor. He had a broad smile on his face. "Welcome to the Awardy Awards, where we award an Awardy Award for award-winning service! Tonight, one of you nominees will be awarded your very own Awardy Award!" The crowd threw him unimpressed looks. The Mayor frowned. "That's it. I'm firing my speech writer." He then stormed off.**

"He should get an award for the most alliterations used in a single speech…" Tails murmured.

Sonic snickered. "It _has_ to be illegal to say 'award' that many times."

**The screen cut back to Knuckles.**

" **Check out that ridiculous hat." He gestured to the nearby wall, where a hat with antlers was mounted.**

" **That, sir, is the official hat of the Jackalope Lodge, of which I am president," the beaver informed. Knuckles looked eminently worried. The beaver thought for a bit before saying, "But upon closer inspection, it does look asinine!" He and the echidna chuckled and fist-bumped.**

Knuckles slid his hands down his face. "What _exactly_ is going on anymore?"

"It looks like you're making friends!" Amy chirped positively, no matter how strange the process was. "The other you is going _much_ better than Sticks, by the way."

"I see that." The echidna grumbled. It didn't change the fact that the Knuckles in the TV was somehow providing entertainment for the rich duo. He wanted this episode to be over soon, and he had a feeling in his gut that he would be saying that a lot over these nine hours.

**Sticks was anxiously sitting at a table with a few other people. Sonic and Amy were observing her from afar. She glanced uncertainly at the silverware. The badger picked up a fork. "What is this?"**

**A green turtle answered her. "It's your pre-salad, post-soup, mid-appetizer, post-post-cocktail tertiary thimble fork."**

Sonic had a sneaking suspicion that those words meant absolutely nothing. "That's not a real thing. That _can't_ be a real thing. Tails, is that a real thing?"

"Don't ask me! I know a lot of stuff, but the specifics about the usages of particular utensils is a lesson I skipped over." Curious sapphires drifted to the robot sitting on the floor. "Metal, is that a real thing?"

"No. It is not. It is a regular fork."

Sonic pursed his lips. "What kind of party makes up a name for a plain-ol' fork?"

"The kind that needs to hurry up and end." Knuckles chimed in.

**A distant yell and bumping was heard.**

**Eggman was pushing his way through the crowd. "Excuse me, pardon me. Pardon me, excuse me. Evil genius coming through." He pushed the sitting turtle over and took the seat next to Sticks. "Move it, shellboy."**

The doctor released a low groan, scowling. "It was foolish to think that he would be left out. Why couldn't he just let them have their terribly boring party alone?"

"Because he's _Eggman_." Sonic didn't feel the need to explain more.

The human scowled deeper and cursed his omnipresent dedication.

" **Eggman?" Sonic shouted from his table. "How did you-"**

" **Get nominated?" The doctor interjected. "Let's just say, I have a loyal base of…supporters."**

**There was a flashback to where a robot was stuffing the ballot with votes for Eggman, who was on top of the machine. "Finally, a use for my ballot stuffing robot!"**

Metal crossed his arms, a finger tapping his metallic bicep. "That machine is a waste of materials, brain power, and time. He could have easily achieved the same goal by himself. The robot needs to be destroyed."

"With how things usually go…" Eggman sighed. "Your wish will come true."

**Back to the present, Eggman was giving Sticks a suspicious look. "You look familiar. Do I know you?"**

"He doesn't know her? But he's seen Sticks before!" Tails fiddled with one of his namesakes.

Knuckles shrugged. "She probably isn't around all the time, and he doesn't care enough to remember." He cracked a couple of his fingers. "And plus, we don't know how much time passes between these episodes."

**Sticks recalled Amy telling her to always start with a compliment. She tentatively said, "You have…healthy hindquarters!"**

Amy winced in revulsion, along with most of the others. Maybe she didn't have to worry about Sticks falling for Sonic…

" **Why thank you!" Eggman relishing in his achievement. "I actually just started taking spin classes."**

"Exercise?" Sonic barked out a laugh. "I'll believe it when I see it."

**Sticks held and slurped out of her bowl. She paused however when she saw Amy facepalming. Sticks stuck out a pinky.**

**Eggman gestured to her. "See that, Shelly? That's how a lady drinks out of a bowl." The doctor copied the badger's actions.**

_I hate this with every fiber of my being,_ Eggman thought.

" **Ladies and gentlemen!" The Mayor announced from a wooden podium, holding up an envelope. "We're ready to announce this year's winner!" He opened it and read the paper. "And the Awardy goes to…"**

The audience watching waited for the name, but it never came. On closer inspection, the video had paused itself. Knuckles jammed the play button over and over again in frustration until it mentally clicked. Amethyst orbs shifted over to the striped hedgehog beside Tails, who had drifted off.

"Tails." Knuckles grunted, and when the kit looked at him, he jabbed his chin over at Shadow. He saw the fox's muscles lock up. "Gotta do your job again."

" _My_ job?" Tails loudly whispered. "When was _that_ established?!" He'd rather _not_ try to wake Shadow again. He didn't want a broken nose…or anything broken, really. "It's someone else's turn!"

Before they could fight over who wasn't going to prod the bear, an item appeared in the air and dropped right into Metal's lap. It was an air horn. The blue mech picked it up and examined the noise maker. "It will be sufficient enough to rouse him." Since he believed that Shadow sleeping was the reason why his objective was being prolonged yet again.

"Sufficient enough? It'll blow out his ear drums!" Amy harshly rasped.

"And ours too!" Tails didn't like this one bit.

Sonic grinned as he plugged his ears with his fingers. "Better prepare yourself then guys!" This was the _perfect_ revenge for his bruised head. Oh he couldn't wait to see this.

The others hesitantly followed his lead before Metal got as close as he could to Shadow – he was about a meter or two away still – and blew the insanely loud horn.

Shadow let out a mixture between a yelp and a scream before instinctively trying to get away from the noise. Limbs flailing, all he managed to do was send himself over the arm of the couch, crumpling to the floor. A puff of confetti had floated into the air upon landing.

Sonic was the only one laughing as the rest waited in anticipation for Shadow to stand up, for his position had hidden him from sight.

"…Shadow?" Tails tentatively called out when there was no movement. He threw a worried glance over his shoulder before lowering his slightly throbbing ears and cautiously crawling over to the side of the sofa. Gulping, the kit peered over the arm of the furniture, glancing down.

Shadow was staring right at him on his back, feet in the air, with his arms splayed out to the side. Instead of glaring so hard that Tails would instantly catch fire, those scarlets were unreadable. And that was terrifying.

"Sorry!" Tails squeaked before spouting out. "We couldn't watch because you fell asleep again, and the _thing_ gave Metal an air horn! Please don't punch my face!"

Shadow didn't say anything at first. He was wondering exactly how he ended up on the floor. He was sleeping, then there was an unnecessarily loud sound – his ears were still ringing dammit – and then he was upside down. The loud sound…

"Who."

The question was more like a demand, and Tails didn't hesitate. "Metal Sonic! He did it!"

So much rage was boiling under his skin, but at this point, showing it was a waste of energy. Shadow leaned his legs to the side and used the couch to help himself stand up. He didn't look anywhere but at Metal, who was standing as well with the air horn in his hand.

Unlike earlier, Shadow slowly strolled over there, gaze unwavering.

Metal fully faced him, not intimidated. "It is more beneficial for you to be awake. Do not interrupt the file aga-"

Before he got to finish, Shadow had grabbed hold of the robot's wrist that was holding the noise maker and yanked _hard._ The whole metallic arm was torn from its torso, exposing many wires. Shadow kicked Metal's chest, and he crashed to the ground. Blazing scarlets then snapped over to Sonic, who had been chuckling ever since he had been rudely awakened.

The striped hedgie ripped the horn from limp fingers, plastered his ears against his head, aimed the irritating item at the oblivious hero, and let loose.

No one had expected it, and Shadow felt a bit better as they writhed in pain, covering their ears far too late.

"Humph." He slammed the arm to the ground before tearing the air horn in two and throwing the pieces at Metal's face. They harmlessly bounced right off. He went over to snatch the remote from a groaning Knuckles before returning to his seat, playing the show.

**A drumroll sounded as the camera zoomed in on Sticks and Eggman. The Mayor opened his mouth. "Leroy the Turtle!"**

" **Yes!" The green reptile cheered. "Yahoo! Score one for Leroy!"**

**Eggman clearly wasn't happy. "Leroy the Turtle?! That award was mine!" He tapped his chin. "Something smells fishy here…"**

" **I have irritable bowl syndrome!" A fish in a tux admitted.**

"WHAT?" Sonic loudly yelled out, lowering his hands. "WHAT DID IT SAY?"

"SOMETHING ABOUT BOWLS!" Tails shouted.

Amy looked at him funny. "BAWLS?!"

The kit cocked his head. "WHAT ABOUT A BOY?"

"A BOY WON?" Knuckles bellowed. "WHAT BOY?"

Eggman nodded, picking in his ears. "YES! LEROY DID WIN!"

"WHO?" Amy asked.

"LEROY THE TURTLE!"

Sonic furrowed his brow at the human beside him. "WHAT IN THE HECK IS A FURT?"

Amy gasped, covering her mouth. "SONIC! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE SUCH A FOUL MOUTH!"

"WHAT?"

Metal gave Shadow a level look after his arm had reattached itself. "This is your doing."

The hedgie plainly ignored him, not caring if the bot was right.

**The doctor growled lowly. "If you won't give me the award, I'll take it!" Ballot Stuffer Bot suddenly appeared, and Eggman jumped on the back of it. "With my ballot stuffing robot! Stuffer Bot…" He pointed to the large group. "…stuff their ballots!"**

**The mech harmlessly shot papers everywhere.**

"The doctor needs to consider a change in occupation. His creations are pathetic," Metal said, rotating his fixed shoulder.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, METAL?"

The robot didn't reply to his annoying copy. There was no point. The other wouldn't understand anyway.

" **The is not quite as menacing as I hoped." Eggman deadpanned before ordering, "Minions, attack!"**

**A swarm of Bee Bots flew in through an open window. Everyone fled the scene except Team Sonic. Sonic spin dashed one of the metallic insects.**

" **Sticks, get 'em!" Sonic shouted, wanting her to help.**

**The badger was downtrodden. "A lady doesn't fight."**

The ringing in his ears had gone down mostly, so now Sonic could use his inside voice. "Did I hear that right?" He then glimpsed at Shadow, more than glad that his rival had destroyed that weapon of mass destruction. It would have been terrible if it was still intact. Maybe…just maybe…he should control his laughter a little better.

"Uh, yeah," Knuckles uttered, his hearing back to normal as well. "And yes, Sticks is taking the other Amy's advice _way_ too seriously."

Amy sighed in relief when her senses worked properly again. "Doesn't she see that the other Amy is about to fight? She's a lady!"

"So you say."

Amy was _this close_ to ripping Metal's arm off again.

" _ **That's**_ **how I know you." Eggman uttered before pressing a button attached to his wrist. An energy beam shot out, trapping Sonic and Amy in a glowing bubble. He did the same to Knuckles and Tails.**

"Wow…" Tails rubbed the base of his ears. "Did they even try to dodge that?"

Another detail bothered Eggman. "If it was so _easy_ trapping four of them, why didn't he do the same for the badger as well?"

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Because this whole episode had been about her, so it would make _complete_ sense to make everyone else helpless to let her save the day." His sarcasm was palpable.

Eggman released a heavy sigh. Was the other him seriously a villain? Or was this some stupid game so that he wouldn't be bored all the time? The doctor was banking on the latter.

**The kit punched the barrier to no avail. "Sticks! We could really use some help here!"**

" **No!" Sticks was fighting an internal war. "Must…remain…ladylike!"**

Amy clicked her tongue and shook her head in disappointment.

**The Ballot Stuffer Bot grew arms under Eggman's command and attempted to stab Sticks. She quickly dodged out of the way. The doctor incessantly blasted lasers at her, eventually cornering the badger.**

**She finally reached her limit. "That's it! I'm sick of being proper!" She yanked off her dress, revealing that her regular clothes were underneath. She crouched low, ready to fight. "It's time to get primal!"**

"Woo?" Tails hesitantly cheered.

**Sticks rushed forward, sidestepping more lasers. She grasped a nearby spoon, bent it in half, and threw it at Eggman like a boomerang. The doctor ducked under it, but the weapon came back around and hit him square in his wrist, freeing Tails and Knuckles.**

**The echidna ran up to the badger's side to help. Eggman aimed a laser at him, but the two noblemen tackled Knuckles out of the way just in time.**

**The beaver snickered. "Give us a pound, dear chap." He and a grinning Knuckles fist-bump again.**

Knuckles gritted his teeth. "Yeah, it's _great_ that they're so buddy-buddy, but he could've moved those under-used legs of his and dodged _himself!_ "

"Aren't you overreacting a bit, Knux?" Sonic nudged him with an elbow, snickering. "It's been established that our other selves don't know how to use their legs under stress."

**Sticks charged at Eggman, leapt up, and pressed the button on his wrist. Sonic and Amy were released. Sonic, having landed first, caught the pinkette. They smile at each other as the speedster set her down gently.**

Sonic saw his life flash before his eyes.

Amy squealed like a maniac. She hopped out of her seat, jumping up and down, and clapping as if she had been the one caught. Actually…she could make that happen! Giggling to herself, she stepped onto the sofa, balancing so she wouldn't fall prematurely.

Disregarding the curious, annoyed, and panicked eyes on her, the pinkette closed her own, spread her arms out to the side, and singsonged, "Catch me, Sonic!" She leaned back and hoped that the speedster didn't let her slam against the unforgiving floor below.

When arms securely cradled her to a warm chest, Amy giggled and pecked her savior on the cheek. "My hero! Now we can-" It was at this point when she opened her eyes and promptly gasped in horror. "Tails?!"

Said fox was extremely uncomfortable and resisted the strong urge to drop to the floor and scrape his cheek against the hardwood. "It's me…"

"Wha…Why did _you_ catch me?" Amy was flabbergasted. This wasn't what she'd planned at all! "Where's Sonic?!"

Tails faced her in the speedster's direction. "On the couch, too busy imploding."

Sonic's attention hadn't drifted from the screen, currently looking like someone had been murdered right in front of him.

Amy huffed, wriggling in the kit's hold. Tails set her down, and she stomped over to Sonic. She thrusted a finger right in his face. "Sonic the hedgehog! How dare you let Tails crush my fantasy! What do you have to say for yourself?"

Sonic blinked before slowly focusing on her. "Hit me with your hammer."

She didn't expect that. "What?"

"Hit me as hard as you can so I can hopefully get shot-term memory loss and forget what I just saw."

Amy deadpanned. "You should be lucky that I love you, or I would've done that anyway." She puffed out her cheeks and reclaimed her seat.

Knuckles barked out a laugh at how traumatized Sonic looked. "Aren't you overreacting a bit, Sonic? It's been established that the other you and Amy _have_ to be a thing." The speedster shot him a curt glance, clearly showing that he was _not_ amused, and the echidna chuckled again before noticing Tails leaning away from Amy, fighting a blush. "That _was_ your first kiss, huh Tails?" The kit blanched. "How was it?"

"Knuckles!" Tails screeched embarrassingly, cheeks being set aflame. "It was gross!"

"Gross?!" The fox realized his grave mistake when Amy glared venom at him. "I am _not_ gross! Take it back, _right now!_ "

Tails held his hands up in surrender. "I-I'm sorry! I changed my mind! It wasn't gross!"

Amy narrowed her eyes before nodding. "You bet it wasn't." She then smiled, hugging the kid. "But nevermind all that! You are so adorable when your flustered! Your future girlfriend will be so lucky!"

Tails struggled to push her away, blush reaching his ears. "No way! Girls are icky!"

"What was _that?!_ "

"I-I…That's not what I meant!"

**Sonic then clenched his fists and approached the Ballot Bot. It shot a laser at him, but it didn't hit the fastest thing alive. Sonic went over and ran circles around the mech and Eggman, spinning them out.**

**Sticks hefted a large vase. "Eat garbage!" She hurled the decoration at the enemy. It hit the bot in the head, it collapsing with smoke rising from it.**

"It is about time," Metal said while Knuckles entertained himself with the Tails-Amy bickering and with the zoned out Sonic.

**Team Sonic all glare at Eggman.**

" **I'll be back!" The human promised. "And next time, I'll bring more ballots." He wheeled out of the room with his Bee Bots in toe. "More ballots!"**

Eggman stressfully rubbed his temples again. "For everyone's sanity, please _don't."_

On the other couch, Amy decided to let Tails off the hook. He was young and inexperienced and couldn't appreciate a woman's affection. She would forget about what was said. This time.

**The hiding citizens walked back out into the open.**

**Sticks addressed the green turtle. "Leroy, you may have won the Awardy, but I think we can all agree that, today, I was the real hero!"**

**Leroy's smile was arrogant. "Yes." He held up his prize. "But** _**I** _ **won the award."**

**Sticks grabbed the trophy and began a game of tug-of-war. "Give me the shiny!"**

Shadow – unfortunately – had to agree with what Sonic said earlier. Part of Rouge's personality was definitely in the badger. That thief would do anything to get her grabby hands on whatever jewel she wanted. Tug-of-war had been part of that 'anything'. Rouge was stronger than she looked.

**Knuckles gave the monocled rodent a thumbs up. "Stay cool! And keep rockin' that bowtie." They connected fists and laughed the nth time that day.**

The guardian wanted to punch something. Repeatedly.

**Sticks eventually snatched the Awardy away from Leroy. Amy approached her. "Thanks again for saving our skin, Sticks. I guess…it isn't always proper to be proper."**

" **Just following the old instincts." The badger cuddled her trophy.**

" **Think you can teach me how to do that?" Amy asked.**

Amy cringed. "This isn't going to end well…"

" **Sure!"**

**Sticks pulled Amy into the nearest trashcan, and the pinkette promptly screamed.**

"…Called it."

"The episode had ended, and I have yet to make an appearance." Metal complained.

Shadow shared his sentiments, wishing that he was _anywhere_ else. Even Holoska. He would gladly take risking hypothermia over this.

"That sure was interesting though at the end there." Knuckles threw his neighbor a mocking grin. "Wasn't it, Sonic?"

The hero produced a noise that sounded like a deflating tire as he slid off the couch and slumped to the confetti littered ground. Gazing up at the ceiling, he spoke in an accent that hadn't been used since people dueled in armor and since toilets were flush-less. "End my pitiful existence! I hath seen too much!"

Knuckles kicked him. "Stop being a drama queen."

"I hath been slain! I cannot go on!"

Eggman scoffed. "If only, rodent. If only…"

"But seriously though." Sonic dropped the act but still remained on the floor. "The other me has gone mental."

"Or…" Amy's eyes glistened. "He has finally accepted the love and all the happiness embracing his one and only brought-"

"Lalalalala!" Sonic hastily covered his ears. "I don't want to hear it!"

Tails frowned. "Amy…maybe you should calm down about-"

"Love can't be calmed _down_ , Tails!"

Because he didn't want a face full of hammer, the fox didn't argue.


	7. Chapter 7

"'Fortress of…Squalitude?'" Sonic read off the screen as he returned to his seat between Knuckles and Eggman, dusting off any confetti papers sticking to him. He wondered what _surprises_ this episode had in store for him. Hopefully it wasn't anywhere close to the 'him being tortured with romance' kind.

"I don't even know what that means." Knuckles rose a brow over the fox, who was trapped between black and pink. He actually felt bad for the kid. Would he switch places though? Nope. "Tails?"

The vulpine shook his head. "I have no idea…maybe it's a spin off of solitude? We still don't know what this one is about though…"

"One way to find out." Shadow drawled out, severely unenthused. He pressed play and hoped that he could manage to stay awake this time. Taking revenge was great, but not at the expense of being startled half to death. And having everyone irritatingly shout at each other.

**The scene started out in Eggman's lair, with said human examining a handful of mail. "Junk," he said flatly and threw an envelope away. Something whirled off-screen. "Junk." He threw another away. "Junk." Again. "Junk." And yet again. Eggman peered closer at a large red paper. "Evil boot warehouse…" He shoved it into Cubot's mouth, who seemed to be shredding all of his unwanted mail.**

Amy didn't care about the other Eggman. She wanted to see her other self and Sonic and how they were so compatible together! If her Sonic saw more of that, then all her dreams would come true! She could hear the wedding bells now!

Only if that doctor would _get off the screen!_

**However, because of the size of the paper, Cubot started to cough. Orbot came up behind his robotic friend and hit him on the back a few times. "Paper jam." Cubot spat half of the paper out in relief.**

"No better than an inexpensive shredder." Metal was tired of seeing those two mechanical disgraces. "If that doctor had any ounce of intelligence, then he should destroy them without any remorse."

"Careful Metal." Sonic smirked at the leashed bot. "The other you might be no better than a busted toaster."

If the robot was indeed an appliance used for toast, Metal was going to find a way to strangle the Eggman in the television. His perfect attributes were designed to kill a particular fleshy hedgehog, not to make bread crunchy.

**After reading over another letter, Eggman exclaimed, "Orbot!" The red mech opened his mouth to shred, and the doctor shook his head. "No, you imbecile!" He sat up straighter on the couch he had been previously laying on. "I don't want you to shred** _**this.** _ **It's the key to our future!" Eggman gestured to the paper in his hand. "Do you know what this is?"**

" **Robotic women who love us for our minds and aren't into looks or money?" Cubot guessed.**

Tails frowned in thought. "That's an interesting topic…" Did robots actually have emotions like that? And did they like other sentient robots? Or any machine? "Hey Metal, do you feel attracted to vacuum cleaners?"

"Be lucky that I am collared fox," Metal said as Knuckles and Sonic stifled chuckles. "Otherwise, I would have torn out your trachea."

"…I'll take that as a no."

"Dunno about that, Tails! He avoided your question!" Sonic barked out a laugh before nudging the grumpy Eggman at his side. "Be careful Eggy! Make sure that you knock before you go into your kitchen!"

Eggman hadn't wanted to picture it, and now he was, and now he desired to throw out every appliance he owned.

Amy giggled when an idea came to her. "Eggman! You could build a Metal Amy for Metal Sonic! So he won't be so lonely!"

"Absolutely not." The doctor's retort was automatic. He didn't need a metallic version of _her_ making him want to pull all of his mustache hair out. "I would go insane with two annoyances with attitude around me all the time."

Metal desired for this to end. "You _all_ will perish."

" **No." Eggman deadpanned. "Our home, and by that I mean** _ **my**_ **home, is going to be featured in Modern Lair magazine." He let Orbot read the paper. "Here, read the exposition."**

Eggman released a long exasperated groan. "Is this episode going to be about me? I don't know how much of seeing myself as a bumbling fool I can take…" He narrowed his eyes at the TV. "And really? A _magazine?_ He shouldn't _care_ about that if Sonic is still out there!"

Knuckles shrugged. "Maybe he's having an off-day. Though caring so much about a magazine – a _home-ec_ magazine no less – is seriously weird."

Sonic's snickers almost made Eggman wish that the air horn would make a return. "Everyone has their hobbies, Knux! And well…that Eggy is making sure his place has the right fengshui." He teased. "Maybe you should take after him Eggman! To get your mind off of all your losses!"

Eggman was going to have to learn to block that rodent out if he didn't want a constant migraine.

**Orbot did so. "A photographer's assistant will do a site inspection tomorrow to consider you for our Island Fortress issue."**

**He and Cubot shared a dubious look while Eggman hopped up from the couch. "Let's give this lair some flair!"**

Amy pursed her lips, mind drifting off the topic of everlasting love. "How do you even spruce up an evil base? Put traps everywhere? Leave out raisin cookies instead of chocolate chip?"

"He's not _that_ evil." Tails shuddered that the mention of the serious crime. "And I guess it's about to show us…"

**A montage started, and now Orbot was using a reluctant Cubot to vacuum the floor.**

**Then, in another room, Cubot was utilizing a plow to scoop up little pieces of scrap metal.**

**After that, the two robots were shown shining Eggman's many boots that looked identical to each other.**

Eggman grumbled to himself, hating that fact that he too had many shoes of similar structure. They were comfy and durable – that was what he told himself every time he ordered new ones. He just disliked that there was something he and the other Eggman had in common.

**Eggman walked into the room and ordered, "When you bots are done with my boots, make sure my rollercoaster is in tip-top shape."**

"Rollercoaster?" Sonic perked up at that. "I was jokin' before Egghead, but man! Riding a rollercoaster before destroying one of your bases would be a hoot!"

Knuckles scoffed. "His bases were already basically rollercoasters. There are straightaways, curves, and ramps everywhere, and now that I think about it…" He made eye contact with Eggman. "It's like you always build your bases to _help_ Sonic get through them, not the other way around."

Before Eggman could formulate an excuse that involved something fancy like cost efficiency – _not_ the fact that ramps were easier to navigate without wheezing – Tails cut in. "He's right, Eggman! Why don't you put something like stairs instead?"

Sonic waved his brother off. "Pfft. You know he wouldn't make it up stairs."

"Why you little-!" Eggman attempted to wring his hands around that rodent's neck, but he was easily fought off. Granted, he wasn't known for his upper body strength, but he still had hope.

So, like the grown adult he was, Eggman crossed his arms and sulked.

**The mechs glanced at each other again before nodding. The two robots later approached the roller coaster area with a toolbox. Doors – with carnival-like paint – slid open, and they entered. Only moments after the doors closed, crashing sounds were heard along with a cat screech. Cubot and Orbot exited the room in pieces.**

"Yeah…that doesn't look safe." Amy observed with a wince.

" _Definitely_ my kind of ride!" Sonic opposed happily.

**Away from the bots, Eggman was adjusting a Bunsen burner on a table. He stared at it for a moment before rotating it again.**

" **Perfect!" The doctor smiled to himself. "It's all coming together! When the photographer's assistant arrives, he'll take one look at my lair and exclaim-"**

**At a later time, a rodent with a blue checkered hat and coat looked around in disdain. "You call this a lair?"**

"Okay, I'm not saying that his base isn't drab, because it is," Amy started, twirling one of her quills. "But how would that guy know what a good lair looks like? He's seen more of them?"

"He's had too!" Tails responded, mind whirling. "So that means that there are more bad guys than Eggman there?"

" _Please_ let there be." Eggman nearly pleaded, wishing that was the case. "So the focus can be more on _them_ and not that disappointing version of myself."

"You-"

"Not another _word_ Metal!" The human cut the robot off, knowing that nothing pleasant was going to come out of that mouth.

Metal didn't say anything for a moment, Eggman surprised that he actually listened, but then the words shot out. "You are a disappointment." Eggman threw his hands up in frustration while Metal added, "I could not not say it."

Amused, Sonic commented, "You know, the longer we're trapped in here, the more I like you, Metal."

"It is the opposite for me."

Eggman and Shadow communicated their agreeance with the bot.

"…Yeah I saw that comin'." Sonic's mood stayed bright. "But I won't take it back! You and I make a great team with messin' with Eggy!"

Metal's opticals flashed. "You and I aren't equals in anything. I am better at belittling the doctor."

Sonic held a hand up. "Whoa whoa hold the phone! You know how long I've perfected my practice? Before you were even made!"

"And the doctor still has his pride in place. You have not been doing a good job, and therefore are inferior," the robot stated.

Sonic pursed his lips before addressing his neighbor, who was rubbing his temples. "Eggman! Who annoys you more, him or me?"

The human ignored him altogether and turned his attention to Tails. "Fox, give me some aspirin."

"Do you not know the definition of manners, doctor?" Metal questioned only for Eggman to narrow his eyes at him.

Sonic rose a brow when his blue replica glanced at him. The hero then smirked. Metal wanted to make this a competition? Game on. "Yeah Eggy, did it smell in the barn you were raised in? Explains your stench now." Sonic scrunched his nose and waved his hand in front of it.

Eggman didn't say a word. He hopped up and stomped into the kitchen, planning on searching for medicine on his own.

"It's in the cabinet over the stove!" Tails called after him.

Sonic leaned back on the sofa and smirked arrogantly. "That's one-oh Metal." The robot clenched his fists. "But I'll let you have a chance to win with a little game. The one who gets to Eggman the most by the end of this episode wins. Deal?"

Metal pointedly turned away from him. "You will lose horribly, copy."

"We'll see about that!"

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Here we go."

"I wish I had some popcorn…" Tails said, both for the show and the brewing competition.

"I wish I had earmuffs." Shadow grumbled lowly.

Amy raised a hand and volunteered. "I can keep track of the points!"

Metal declined that offer immediately. "No. If you are charge of the point system, the chance of him winning is a hundred percent."

The pinkette puffed out her cheeks. "I'm fair!" Until Sonic started to lose, that is.

"False." Metal required someone impartial. "Ultimate Lifeform, you are the scorekeeper."

Shadow glared. "No." He was here to watch the damn show: no more, no less.

Sonic pulled out his puppy-dog eyes, which had no effect on the striped one whatsoever. "Please?"

"No."

" _Please?_ "

"No."

"Pleeeeaaaaaaaaa-"

"FINE DAMMIT!" Shadow shouted in rage. "Just shut the hell up!"

The innocent look morphed into a victorious one. "Mission accomplished," Sonic quipped.

Shadow took deep breaths to he wouldn't attempt to detach Faker's head like he did Metal's. He was sure the _thing_ wouldn't appreciate it.

When Eggman returned to the living room, he saw Sonic and Metal focus on him and mental red flags instantly went up. He had heard Shadow's yell, but he didn't know what was going on. It was no doubt going to dance on his last nerve, though.

He just had a gut feeling, especially since Sonic's smile was _way_ too wide.

" **How** _ **dare**_ **you?" Eggman growled, glaring down at his visitor. "Listen, pompous little pipsqueak, I'll crush you like a bug!"**

**The assistant wasn't fazed. "Not if you want your lair in our magazine."**

"He's _had_ to have dealt with worse people than Eggman," Knuckles uttered, "Because that guy doesn't care at all."

Metal folded his arms across his chest. "It is not like it is difficult to be more evil than the doctor." He paused, then, "Both of them."

Eggman opened his mouth to angrily respond to that jab, but Sonic spoke up before he got the chance. "It's not hard at all! The salesmen knocking at people's doors at seven in the morning _definitely_ has Egghead beat."

When the human's eye violently twitched, Sonic subtly looked over at Shadow, who looked highly agitated cat – his fingers digging into the arm of the couch like it was a scratching post.

Eh. He was most likely doing his job.

**The human gasped, anger morphing into concern. "You can't do this to me!"**

" **Modern Lair brings our readers a contemporary upbeat take on evil," the rodent explained. "Your idea of evil is totally retro…without the irony." He crossed his arms as Eggman slumped. "Your lasers are a ridiculous shade of blue, and would you** _ **please**_ **turn that Bunsen burner 90 degrees before I get sick." He pointed at the offending lab tool.**

Tails cocked his head. "I didn't realize that the positioning of scientific lab equipment was so important…"

"It shouldn't be though, right?" Amy tapped her chin. "Not every bad guy is an evil scientist!"

"Really?" Knuckles drawled. "Name one."

She gestured to the robot. "Metal Sonic's one!"

"He made by an evil scientist."

"Chaos!"

"Released by an evil scientist."

"Uh…Dark Gaia?"

"Same as above."

Amy wracked her brain. "The Deadly Six!"

"Were pissed off _because_ of an evil scientist."

Eggman huffed and grumbled to himself along the lines of 'Stupid traitorous pieces of-'

Amy blinked before her jades landed on the Ultimate Lifeform. "What about Shadow? He was bad once!"

"Made by a relative of an evil scientist." Knuckles ignored Shadow's growl. "See?"

Amy finally gave up. "Yeah yeah…I get it…"

" **Give me a chance!" Eggman begged. "I'll spruce up the place!"**

Sonic snorted. "So if I criticize your place Eggster, would you beg like that?"

"Of course not, you imbecile!" Eggman's cheeks flushed red in anger.

"If you desire for the doctor to plead," Metal began. "Simply threaten to scissor off his facial hair. I have witnessed the unnecessary care he gives it."

Eggman growled deep in his throat – hoping that the medicine would kick in quick – while Tails and Amy giggled, picturing the man grooming his only plume of hair.

Sonic jabbed a finger over at them. "Don't laugh at Metal! That wasn't funny!" The pair stopped, but their expressions were still filled with mirth. "Mine was funny, right Shads?"

Said hedgehog didn't answer him, too busy wondering that if he had went down the evil path way back when, would he still be here right now?

If not, this _alone_ would've been enough incentive to commit mass murder.

**The assistance tapped his chin in thought. "I'll give you a week." He strolled toward the exit of the base.**

**Eggman scratched the top of his head. "I'm gonna need help…from someone with a real feel for color and shape."**

**The screen panned to Cubot, who was interacting with a cube with multiple holes for shapes and who was currently trying to fit a square into a 'X' hole.**

Tails resisted the urge to facepalm. "Were they really that stupid?"

"Yes." Eggman deadpanned. "And that is why I scrapped them."

"It should not be surprising, given their creator."

Currently, Eggman was brainstorming ways he could get Shadow to dismember that robot, and Sonic was panicking because _man_ , Metal was ready on the drop of a dime.

" **Definitely gonna have to out-source this one…" The doctor mumbled before an idea came to him. "I know!"**

**The scene changed to somewhere outside now. Amy was standing with a clipboard and pencil in hand.**

"Oh no…" Amy knew what was coming. Her other self was about to be taken away from the other Sonic! No! She should fight to stay by his side. And plus, being with Eggman was just plain gross.

The doctor ran his hand down his face. "Of course he would resort to her…" Why was he trying so hard for something so unimportant?

Amy rounded on him, her gaze ablaze. "And what's wrong with her?! She should be respected for her talents, which are way better than yours!"

Sonic blinked. He hadn't realized that she had been playing too.

Eggman's eye twitch became more prominent.

The speedster beside him smirked. "What? No comeback, Eggy? I'm surprised, because you usually never stop yappin' that trap of yours!"

Knuckles gave him a side-glance. "Sonic, you are _literally_ the last person who could say that."

Metal generated a scoff. "That was horrendous, copy. I believe that deserves a point deduction."

" _You_ deserve a point deduction!" Sonic argued without thinking, and he soon regretted it because wow…he was never this bad.

Eggman wasn't even going to ask. He didn't care that much to intervene and made his day infinitely worse.

**She checked off on the paper as she talked. "My summer themed cushions with floral upholstery that compliments each guests' natural coloring are ready, the ice sculpture has melted just enough to hide the carving marks…" Said sculpture was sparkling in the sun on a decorated table.**

" **And I dug a trench around the picnic table and filled it with broken glass," Sticks said while holding a shovel, satisfied with her work.**

"Does she want cuts? Because that's how you get cuts." Tails worried about the badger's common sense. Who was she protecting the table from? Themselves? Heck, she had yelled at her shadow before, so he shouldn't expect anything less from her at this point.

**Amy blinked. "I…might've used rose petals, but we'll go with it." She glanced over to the side and shouted. "Sonic! How are you doing on those fruit drinks?"**

**There was a pile of untouched fruit on a rock with flies circling it, and Sonic was snoring on a beach chair.**

Amy deeply frowned. Boyfriends were supposed to help their girlfriends with juicing various fruits! Why didn't he understand that? Men these days!

**Amy sighed. "Why am I not surprised?" She then shifted her attention to something else. "Tails! Where's the soothing music?"**

" **Right here!" The fox was sitting on the porch of Sonic's shack with a music control panel in front of him. "But I thought it would be better if I gave it a little boost." He flipped a switch on the panel, and loud music blasted out of the speakers, annoying everyone. A large leaf loosened from a nearby tree and landed on Amy's head.**

"Whoa…" Sonic whistled lowly. "We need a speaker like that here, Tails!"

The kit only sighed. "If you like all of our windows blown out, then sure…"

**Annoyance was radiating off the pinkette in waves as she threw the leaf away. "Knuckles? Are my grilled pheasants ready?"**

**Knuckles faced her with a frown. "Not now, Amy. I'm busy." He held up a hand to reveal that he was using one of the raw pheasants as a puppet. The echidna changed his voice as if the plucked bird was talking. "Oh please don't cook me, Knuckles." The red anthro lowered his voice as he showed that his other hand was covered with raw fowl as well. "Today turned out a lot different than I expected."**

Honestly, Knuckles had forgotten how idiotic his twin was because of all that was going on. The echidna groaned and pitied those raw hunks of meet. " _How_ many times had he been dropped on his head…?"

"Too many." Sonic chuckled before adding. "But didn't we decide that it was steroids turning his brain into mush?"

"The steroids _had_ to have some help."

**Amy was obviously upset as she turned to the badger. "Sticks, I don't know why I go out of my way to make things nice for these guys."**

"Yeah…they all are kinda acting like jerks, except for my double." Tails concluded. "He just uh…miscalculated."

" **You…deserve better." The girls turned toward the new voice, who belonged to Eggman. He was standing on the porch. "I mean, this table!" He pointed to the wooden furniture. "It should be hanging in a museum!"**

"That is a ridiculous statement." There were so many flaws in this that it was uncanny, Metal thought. "Tables do not hang in museums. That would be a safety hazard."

"Since when did _you_ care about safety hazards?" Eggman questioned dubiously.

"Gotta agree with him there, Metal!" Sonic piped up. "You as a _whole_ are a safety hazard."

Metal didn't miss a beat. "Your foolishness is a safety hazard."

Sonic gaped, clearly offended, and Knuckles coughed. "He's not wrong."

**Sticks gasped in alarm before snatching an oyster shell of the table and breaking it on the ground, holding the jagged end as a weapon. "That villain! Just give me the signal Amy, and I'll clam him!" As she said this, Knuckles, Sonic, and Tails ran to the badger's side, ready to fight as well.**

**Eggman held his hands up. "Don't let the fact that I constantly try to destroy you lead you to believe that I am here to destroy you. I just want to hire Amy to redo my lair."**

"Say no!" Amy pleaded after throwing a pouting Sonic a sympathetic look. "He's evil and he smells! Don't go!"

**All of the gang except for Amy laugh. Instead, the pinkette looked flattered.**

Annnndddd there went common sense. Straight out of the window. Amy slumped in her seat, disappointed in her double.

**Sonic scoffed. "Come on, Amy. You're not buying this."**

**Amy rounded on him, angry. "Is it so hard to believe Eggman might actually respect my talents?"**

"It's actually harder to believe that you _think_ he does…" The pinkette muttered.

" **Well yeah." Sonic thought about what he said and tried to mend it. "Wait, that came out wrong."**

"Nope, it's too late." Sonic commented, that wound caused by Metal painstakingly healing. "Good job other me! You _really_ deserve an award for that!"

"'Best at…being a terrible boyfriend'?"

Sonic winced before shaking his head at Amy. "More like… 'Best at pushing a _completely platonic_ friend into the arms of a mad scientist.'"

**Amy stared blankly at him before smiling at Eggman. "I accept."**

**Her friends gaped at her in shock.**

" **Don't go with Eggbreath!" Sonic attempted to convince her as she made her way toward the human.**

" **You can't trust him!" Tails added. "He's evil!"**

"He needs to yell that louder because the other Amy _obviously_ can't hear him." Knuckles groused, wondering why that pinkette hadn't learned from previous experiences. The other Eggman – and their own, to some degree – was inept, sure, but he was still _bad_.

**Amy peered over her shoulder and retorted, "I can take care of** _**myself** _ **."**

"If there is trouble, the doctor would be easy to defeat. He always is."

"You're just as easy to defeat as _I_ am, Metal!" Eggman snarled, wishing that duct tape would work on that damned machine.

Sonic scratched his nose, taking his chance. "So you're sayin' that you're easy to take down? I'm glad that you finally accept it!"

Eggman held his head in his hands. This was his life now. Surrounded by endless ridiculing. He wouldn't wish this on his worst enemy…or wait, yes he would mainly because that rodent was the _source_ of his torment.

" **Splendid!" Eggman cheered as she stood in front of him. "My lair awaits. After you!" He gestured in the direction of his base.**

**Knuckles held up one of his meat puppets again. He lowered his voice once more. "Don't look at me,** _**I** _ **didn't use her lovingly prepared meal as a puppet."**

Knuckles was just going to ignore that to keep his sanity. "So they are just going to let her go? Just like that?"

"We would've at least…I dunno…held her back or something!" Tails suggested.

Amy messed with a loose string on her pajamas. "You guys wouldn't have to do anything because I wouldn't go! I mean, I like decorating as much as the next girl, but not enough to risk life and love!"

Sonic felt like sliding onto the floor in exasperation again. "Ames, can't you stop with-"

"Nope!"

The speedster inwardly sighed.

**The human and pink hedgehog were strolling down a hallway with Orbot and Cubot trailing them. "So, where do you wanna start?" Amy asked.**

" **You have total creative freedom. Make this lair so fantastic that they'll want to put it on the cover! Then I'll say…'no'." Eggman laughed evilly.**

**Amy tilted her head. "Why?"**

**The doctor petted his mustache. "Sorry. Old habits are hard to break."**

"So _that's_ why you lose all the time!" Sonic snapped his fingers at the man that was trying so hard to block him out, but the rodent was too _loud._ "I have a habit of winning, and you have a habit of losing!"

"And he has a habit of building inadequate machines," Metal said.

Sonic focused on him. "And he has a habit of revealing his plans!"

The robot retorted, "And he as a habit of creating terrible schemes."

Eggman glanced back and forth between them. The two were insulting him, sure, but it seemed like they were indirectly attacking each other. Somehow.

The duo went kept going until it was clear that they were running out of ideas.

Sonic was yelling at this point. "And he has a habit of never taking showers!"

Metal's voice was at the same volume. "And he has a habit of annoyingly laughing all the time!"

"And he has a habit of…of…" Sonic dug deep within his mind. "Of always bein' flubby!" He gestured to the suddenly self-conscious doctor. "Just look at 'im!"

The bot searched his database for anything he could use. "And he has a habit of-"

"And _I_ will have the habit of shoving a particular robot's arm so far down a particular Faker's throat that he will be shitting _fingers._ "

With that threat – no, promise – from Shadow, Sonic and Metal glared at each other before ending their verbal spat.

**Another montage began. Amy placed a blue pillow in the center of a couch; however, Eggman came over after she left and moved it slightly to the right.**

**Then, Orbot and Cubot were painting a wall blue while Eggman and Amy observed.**

**The doctor hummed. "It's great, but…hm… I'm not sure about the color." He put his hands on his hips. "It just doesn't say 'contemporary upbeat take on evil.'"**

**Amy, picking up a bucket of paint, read the label. "The color is called 'contemporary upbeat take on evil…blue.'"**

Tails, both highly amused because of his brother's game and highly nervous because he kept forgetting that Shadow was a near psychopath, fought to disregard that negative feeling. "I still don't understand why she's working for him."

"Eggman's doing it to get on a magazine cover right?" Amy was attempting to find the positive in this terrible situation. "She could possibly become famous because of her work!"

"Or _in_ famous because she's helping out a guy that terrorizes people on a daily basis." Knuckles pointed out.

"Yeah…or that."

**Later, the female hedgie walked past that same couch from before. She noticed that the pillow had been moved, so she returned it to its proper place and left.**

**Eggman entered a large room and his eyes widened at the sight of the red plaid curtains. "Too much plaid?"**

**Orbot and Cubot were wrapped in the red stuff. The former agreed. "Maybe a little."**

**Elsewhere, Amy was taking down a picture of Eggman in a cape only to replace it with a photo of unicorns.**

**The human approached her from behind and frowned in confusion.**

"Okay that's a little weird, even for her." Sonic furrowed his brow. "And Egghead's just gonna leave that there?"

"He's probably so shocked that he doesn't know what to do." Tails provided.

**Then, Amy was sprinkling rose petals all over the floor with an unsure Eggman watching on. After finishing, she pressed a button on the wall that activated a laser show.**

**Eggman's tone was dubious. "Uh…the rose petals and laser light show add a certain regal flair, but…do we really need** _**that** _ **?" He pointed over to Orbot and Cubot, who had angel wings and were being spun in the air by a rotating sphere attached to the ceiling.**

" **I've never felt so free!" Cubot shouted.**

"She can put together light shows? Not gonna lie, that's pretty awesome," Sonic said and immediately regretted because Amy instantly focused on him.

"So laser light shows are the way to your heart?" She guessed, and before Sonic could say absolutely not, she grabbed a surprised Tails' shoulders. "Tails! Teach me tech stuff!"

"Uh…"

"Promise me that you'll do it after we're freed!"

"I promise!" Tails squeaked just to escape the girl's overbearing presence. When Amy smugly leaned away, he locked gazes with Sonic, who mouthed 'I'm _so_ sorry'.

Sometimes, Tails would just love the ability to disappear.

**Eggman passed that couch with the pillow again and noticed that the blue cushion had been moved. Instead of fixing it, he shot it with a laser. The pillow was now burnt to a crisp.**

Knuckles' lips twitched upwards. "That's one way to do it."

Metal agreed. "That is the most sensible thing that doctor has done yet." He glanced at Eggman, who braced for whatever was coming. "When will _you_ have that breakthrough?"

The human didn't bother to reply, just stressfully rubbing his forehead.

Sonic narrowed his eyes at the robot before smirking. "As soon as he gets a gym membership, am I right?"

Eggman had never wanted a shirt more in his entire life.

**The robots – still clad in angel wings – were spreading rose petals around when the doorbell rang.**

**Eggman perked up. "It's him!"**

**The front doors opened to reveal the assistant from before, expression unreadable.**

" **Hello!" The doctor greeted enthusiastically. "What a surprise!" He then slumped in disappointment when the rodent strolled by without saying anything.**

**The trio were now looking up at the laser show with Orbot and Cubot spinning around. The assistant seemed perplexed for a moment before walking off.**

Amy didn't blame him. The robots were probably a bit too much.

**In the room with the plaid curtains, the magazine worker glanced around before focusing on the picture of the colorful unicorns.**

**Eggman, downtrodden, whispered down to Amy, "He hates it. I knew those unicorns were too much!" He straightened up and raised his voice. "I can explain! The one to blame-"**

**The assistant turned around. "I love it."**

"He can't be serious." Knuckles deadpanned.

"Y'know, with how this show's gone…" Sonic flipped a hand. "I'm not even surprised."

"Huh." Tails played with a confetti ball. "He doesn't seem like a unicorn type of guy, but okay."

**The human slid in front of Amy, gesturing to himself. "Is me! Yes, I really outdid myself, didn't I?"**

" **What?" the pinkette unhappily yelled. "It was** _ **my**_ **design!"**

" **Under** _ **my**_ **supervision," Eggman snapped back.**

**Amy batted back with, "And my execution!"**

**He got in her face. "With** _**my** _ **direction!"**

"This is when things start going downhill…" Tails trailed off, not wanting that Amy – no matter how uh…interesting she was – to get hurt.

" **I just have one note," the capped rodent interjected.**

**Orbot dropped down from the ceiling on a string. "A forty-hour work week for the cherubs?"**

**Eggman promptly grabbed the bot and used the string attaching him to the ceiling to fling Orbot away.**

**The assistant went on like that didn't happen. "Danger up the entryway a little, and who knows? You might make the cover." He aimed for the exit. "I'll be back tomorrow with the photographer."**

Amy tapped her chin in thought. "Does he _want_ to get hurt when he comes back? Because that's basically what he's asking for."

**After he left, Eggman exclaimed, "Did you hear that? The cover!"**

**Amy was done with all of this. "Great. Have fun supervising** _**yourself!** _ **I'm out of here!" She took a few steps away, but Eggman pressed a button on a remote, dropping a cage around her. She gasped before glaring at him. "Really?"**

"What? Did she really expect just to walk out of there?" If Eggman had been in that universe, Eggmanland would've been built ten times over. "He's a fool, but he's still a _villain._ "

" **What did you expect? I'm a supervillain!" Eggman maliciously smirked.**

"You and your double are becoming more alike as time goes on, doctor." Metal observed, and Sonic angrily mumbled to himself. He had been a _split_ second too slow.

Eggman decided that he was just going to stop talking. Even his words were working against him at this point.

" **Now, once you're finished dangering up the entryway to my lab, you might want to put in an evil screening room." Amy's eyes widened. "Cheer up! At least I appreciate you, unlike your so-called friends!"**

Tails pursed his lips. "Enslavement and appreciation don't mean the same thing…"

"I don't think he cares." Knuckles drawled out.

**The scene changed, and now it was nighttime. The rest of the gang were sitting at a table on the beach, which was holding a horribly burnt pheasant.**

Sonic couldn't be mad. "That's…an accurate representation." He didn't know the first thing about cooking anything other than chili dogs, Tails hadn't touched anything that big and fancy yet, he doubted Knuckles had even _used_ a stove, and Sticks…he was sure that she would be fine with eating the thing raw.

" **Ugh…" Knuckles sighed. "Burned food just doesn't taste the same without Amy."**

**Tails gave him a side glance. "Knuckles, you're eating a napkin."**

**The echidna looked down at the rolled up napkin in his grip, which had the top half bitten off. "Yeah, I knew that." He took another bite out of it.**

Knuckles drummed his fingers on his leg. "How in the _hell_ has he survived for this long?"

No one answered, because they had no clue.

" **Knuckles is right," Sonic admitted.**

" **What?!" Tails questioned incredulously.**

" **Not about the napkin eating!" He clarified. "About Amy. We need to make sure she's okay."**

"Took him long enough!" Sonic huffed. "It's nighttime! She's been there for way too long!"

Tails nodded. "Yeah! We would've gone after her within the first hour!"

Amy smiled broadly. "I'm so lucky to have such great friends!" She chirped before hugging the kid fox tightly. Tails, though flattered, squirmed in her grip to no avail. He just hoped that she didn't kiss him again.

**At Eggman's lair, the azure hedgehog knocked on the metal doors and waited. No one came for the longest, so he was going to knock again. However, Eggman appeared before he could.**

" **Yes?" The scientist questioned with a smug look on his face.**

" **We came to get Amy. Is she done yet?" Sonic demanded.**

" **Amy has decided to become my full-time decorator," Eggman said. "I'm afraid that she doesn't want anything to do with her old friends." The door slammed shut in their faces.**

" **Wow…" Knuckles scratched his head in confusion. "Who'd thought that Amy would abandon us?"**

"Can someone give him a muzzle?" Knuckles was tired of hearing his twin's voice. " _Please?_ "

" **I don't think she did…" Sonic speculated before grinning. "Come on, we got to find a way into this lair."**

"Make a dramatic entry!" Sonic advised, now excited. "Destroy the door!"

**Inside of said base, Amy was laying down in her cage, realizing the mess she was in. Then, she smelled something foul.**

" **Ew." She frowned. "What is that smell?"**

**The pinkette flinched when a wall near her was destroyed, revealing Sonic – with Amy's hammer – Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks who were all covered in a strange liquid.**

" **It's us!" Knuckles pumped a fist. "We snuck in through a sewer pipe!"**

Sonic winced. "Or…do that." He has done many things, but he tended to _avoid_ wallowing through peoples'…wastes. Which he assumed would be common knowledge, but…guess he was wrong.

Metal cocked his head, noticing his copy's disgust. "Nothing is wrong with making a stealthy entrance. Your way of thinking is flawed."

Sonic barely resisted responding with ' _You're_ flawed', and instead said, "Well Metal, when _you_ gain a sense of smell and gain the ability contract diseases, talk to me later about it, 'kay?"

**Amy was standing up now with her arms crossed. She spoke up. "I was wondering how long it would take for you guys to miss me."**

**Sonic approached her with her weapon of choice. His features were soft. "We may have a hard time saying it, Amy, but…well, you know."**

**She smiled understandably at him. "Yeah, I know."**

"She knows the power of _friendship!_ " Sonic hastily exclaimed. Was that dreaded topic going to be mentioned every freaking episode?

Amy's happy grin was all-knowing. "A _special_ kind of friendship! Come on, Sonic! Look at them!" She gushed. "You can't tell me that we don't look great together!"

"Oh it would be _very_ easy," Sonic muttered to himself, but the pinkette had heard.

"What?" Her tone had gained a bit of an edge to it. "Sonic…Are you saying that I'm _ugly?!_ "

Sonic's stomach dropped. It was only a matter of time before the hammer came out. "No!" He leaned forward and shook his hands frantically. "That's not what I said!"

"Then what did you say?"

The speedster floundered for something, anything. "I said…that…I'd like my eggs over easy!" He forcefully chuckled. "You know…for breakfast tomorrow…?"

Amy stared before doing a 'I'm watching you' motion with her hand.

**Tails ran over and pressed a button on the side of the cage, deactivating its laser bars.**

" **There's no way we're going out the way we came in…" Sonic held out the hammer for Amy to take. "Care to do the honors?" She took it without hesitation and nodded with determination.**

Amy went all starry eyed, and Sonic was just glad that she wasn't pulling anymore potentially dangerous stunts.

**In another room, Eggman was drinking some tea at his desk. He nearly choked on it when his door was knocked down forcefully.**

**Team Sonic was standing at the doorway. Amy readied her piko-piko. "Sorry about the door." She didn't look apologetic at all. "Oh, and I quit."**

**Eggman growled. "No one quits my employ unless I dismantle them first!"**

**Cubot, laying in pieces on the floor, shouted, "It's true!"**

Tails wondered who kept putting those robots back together, because it didn't seem like the other Eggman would go out of his way to constantly do it…like every five minutes.

**The doctor summoned his attack robots with a swipe of a finger on his touchscreen desk. A horde of them charged into the room.**

**Sonic smirked at Amy. "After you."**

The pinkette dreamily sighed. "Such chivalry!"

"Chivalry isn't just for couples!" Sonic tried to explain, but Amy completely blocked him out.

**The pinkette charged forward and took out a Motobug with her hammer. Knuckles then threw a crab robot attacking Tails into a wall. A Bee bot fired at Sonic, but his speed let him dodge all of the lasers. He spin dashed a Motobug trailing Tails, and Amy finished it off with a swing of her trusted weapon.**

**Sticks destroyed the aforementioned Bee bot with her boomerang as a crab bot creeped up behind a distracted Sonic. Tails ended that robot's artificial life by smashing it with the unicorn painting.**

**Team Sonic share a victorious look while Eggman and his helper robots attempted to flee.**

"Yet another defeat. Which is similar to-"

Eggman groaned. "Metal, can you not talk for five minutes?" That was all he needed. Five minutes of peaceful bliss.

But of course, that was nothing but a fantasy. "I enjoy pointing out your flaws and winning against my annoying copy, so no."

"Winning?" Sonic was appalled that the other would even think that. "You are _not_ winning! _I'm_ winning by a mile!"

"That is what a loser would say."

Sonic opened his mouth, but didn't say anything. This episode should be over soon enough, and _then_ Metal would see who was the superior teaser.

**However, they were stopped when the assistant and the photographer – an unimpressed female aardvark – appeared.**

**Eggman stuttered over his words. "I-I um…you're early!"**

" **Apparently," the woman replied flatly as she surveyed the scene. She swiftly turned to her speechless assistant and uttered, "You're fired," before leaving."**

"Poor guy," Amy uttered, coming out of her romance induced dream state. It wasn't his fault that Eggman had destructive enemies.

**Orbot was suddenly next to him, holding out tickets. "Ride the roller coaster. That always cheers me up." The former assistant took the tickets, still in shock about what just happened.**

**Eggman was pleading with the photographer who wasn't amused at all. "W-Wait, please!" He followed after her as she walked to the exit. "Forget the cover! How about a smaller spread? A couple pages? A page! A snapshot buried behind some cleaning product ads!"**

_Pathetic,_ Eggman thought to himself. He wouldn't dare say it out loud, for he could imagine the _exact_ words Metal or Sonic would respond to that with.

**Amy and Sonic watched them go before the former said, "Would've been nice to see my designs featured in a magazine." She shifted her attention to the blue hero. "Oh well, maybe some day."**

" **I don't know about a magazine spread, but I do know a shack you can redecorate." Sonic offered.**

" **Really?" Amy's mood brightened. "I've been wanting to fix that place up for years! Oh Sonic, it'll be amazing!" She gushed.**

" **Just a few things." Sonic put a hand on his hip. "My coconut husk collection is off limits – too many memories – and no washing, painting, plastering, or cleaning." He turned to leave, and the rest of his friends did too. "But other than that, you have** _ **total**_ **creative freedom."**

Amy inhaled deeply to squeal, but Sonic held a hand up. "No! Nope! None of that! Keep that to yourself, Ames!" And she did, inwardly dancing about how cute those two on the screen were.

"Disregarding the obvious relationship between my copy's copy and the questionable lady's copy-" Amy growled at Metal. He went on without a care, turning toward a done-with-the-world Shadow. "Ultimate Lifeform, who won the ga-"

"It was a tie." Shadow interrupted him, having not paid attention – intentionally – and wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"A tie?!" Sonic shouted to the striped one's disdain. "It can't be a tie!"

"I refuse to believe that," Metal replied crisply. "I am always superior."

Sonic needed the real results. "Tails! Knuckles! Who do you think won?" Both fox and echidna shrugged, having no idea. What they _did_ know was that it was fun watching them go at it.

Eggman rose a brow. "What in the heck are you talking about, cactus?"

Instead of Sonic, Metal answered, "We were having a competition to see who could insult you the best."

The human's mustache flared. " _That's_ why you two were…!" He rubbed his temples and marched back into the kitchen, muttering darkly to himself.

"It _was_ a tie!" Amy helped out before addressing Metal. "See? I _am_ fair!"

Metal stared blankly at her. "Does not compute."

Sonic puffed out his cheeks and slumped against the couch. At least it wasn't a loss. "Fine, I'll accept that…"

The robot was beginning to twitch. "Impossible. I am better. Does not compute."

The blue blur grinned. "Guess no-"

"Does not compute." His movements were becoming more jerky.

The grin melted away. "Metal, are you-"

"Does not compute."

"Met-"

The bot's head exploded.


	8. Chapter 8

Startled shouts filled the air when a loud explosion impinged unexpecting ears. Shocked eyes watched through the rising smoke as Metal Sonic's headless body slumped to the ground with a thud, confetti puffing up around it.

Over the initial shock, Shadow schooled his expression as he waved the smoke out of his face. "Don't act so surprised. The robot will be back soon enough." Unfortunately. Having one Sonic around was exhausting enough, although…Metal was a good punching bag.

Sonic rolled his eyes after recovering from his near heart attack. "Well _excuse_ us Shads! Not everyone could be as calm as you when an explosion goes off in their living room!"

"Learn then."

Tails coughed when he accidently inhaled some of the fumes. "He really…didn't like tying with Sonic, did he?"

"I would've said that he won if I knew that _this_ was going to happen!" Amy exclaimed. That bot was more of a drama queen than she was!

"That'd be lyin' Ames." Sonic grinned at her. "He _definitely_ didn't win that. A tie is the lowest I'll go." The blue blur's attention drifted to Metal's body on the ground and then to the TV, the smoke clearing more each second. Might as well check out the next episode until Metal came back. "Double Doomsday? Now that sounds action packed!"

Knuckles rubbed his eyes, the fumes agitating them. "Hopefully it's not about that badger again…" Two episodes about her was more than enough. The last episode was a breath of fresh air. There were no paranoid screams.

Sonic nudged the echidna. "You gotta get used to her, Knux! She's gonna be around longer than that rash you had last month."

The guardian gawked at him. "How did you-"

"Did you _really_ think that I didn't notice you using a fork as a backscratcher?"

Tails and Amy snickered at that. Knuckles just wanted to go back to Angel Island, where Sonic's mouth _wasn't._

There was a lapse of silence for a moment. Eggman creased his brow at Metal's torso, which was continuing to be headless. "Why…isn't he repaired already?"

"Dunno…" A bubble of worry formed in Sonic's stomach. He glanced at the ceiling. "Maybe the _thing's_ slackin' off…?" Emerald orbs dropped to his just as confused rival. "Shads, can you play the episode?"

Shadow attempted to, mashing the play button like his life depended on it. "No," he gritted out after the fifteenth press. "Why in the hell isn't he coming back?"

"Oh no…" Amy gasped, covering her mouth. "Did we…make it mad somehow? Is it not going to help Metal?" Not that she cared about the robot per se – he had called out her femininity and she would _not_ stand for that – but that meant that they couldn't watch the show. If they couldn't watch, they couldn't _leave._

"Who cares about that bucket of bolts!" Eggman stood up, and – faster than _any_ of them had seen him move – ran over to the front door. He grabbed the doorknob and pulled it with all of his might. It wasn't budging. "The screen's frozen and we're _trapped!_ " This was not one of the ways the thought that he was going to die!

Shadow marched over to him, just as frantic. "Move over!" Eggman barely got out of the way before the hedgehog gripped the knob with two hands, planted one foot on the wall, and yanked with all he had. Nothing. He swore that the door was laughing at him. Frustrated, he punched the wood only to receive sore knuckles. "Dammit!"

"It didn't work the last time, but we have no other choice!" Knuckles hopped up and ran to a window. A flurry of fists hit the plane of glass, vibrating but not shattering it. He stared down at his throbbing hands, accepting his fate. He would never get to tell the Master Emerald goodbye.

Tails' mind was whirling like a tornado high on sugar. The heroes couldn't lose like this! There had to be a way! When he focused on Knuckles, a lightbulb went off in his head. They've tried the sides, but they never tried down! "Knuckles!" The echidna peered back at him. "Try to dig out!" His floor would be ruined, but he'd be sad about that _after_ they were freed.

"Great idea Tails!" Sonic's pulse was racing again. He couldn't live out his last days in here! Everything was so close and crowded and he couldn't run! "Knux, get to work!"

"You don't have to tell me twice!" Determined amethysts drifted to the floor. He clenched his fists before roaring a war cry. The sound of his hand meeting the unforgiving hardwood was near painful. Knuckles bit his lip as he cradled his arm. "Nope." His voice was a tad lighter than normal. "Didn't work."

"We can't give up!" Amy materialized her hammer and went to work on the ground. It wasn't giving at all, but she didn't stop, the floor vibrating under everyone's feet.

Sonic was breathing a little faster. He dropped down on his knees beside the metallic torso. "Metal!" He grasped the shoulders and shook the body back and forth. "Come back to us, bud! Can't get through this without ya!" No response of the head-reappearing caliber. Sonic shook it harder as Amy stopped her assault. "C'mon! You wanna beat me up, right? Well, you can't do that if you're dead!" Nothing. " _Chaos_ Metal, I'll let you get a free hit in if you just-"

"Shut up, Faker!" Shadow yelled, highly agitated and tired and suddenly fond of open spaces. "Can't you see that it's not working?"

"What other choice do we have?!"

Eggman forced himself to think of a plan. He refused to spend the _night_ with the rodents, let alone forever. "Fox!" Tails rose a panicked brow at him. "Do you have any tools?" He had a small chance of doing _something_ to Metal so he was at least somewhat sentient again.

The kit perked up. "Yeah! They're in the garage!" He spun his tails and rocketed toward the garage door, which was located in the kitchen. When he tried to open it, it didn't budge like the one in the front. "It won't open!" He called back before returning to the living room.

Sonic loudly groaned. Why was this happening? Metal's couldn't take the tie, so he… The speedster chewed the inside of his cheek. He had an idea, but it was going to tear him up inside. It was going to hurt _so_ much. "Metal…that competition…y-you…" It felt like he was going to throw up. This was just so _unnatural_. "You…w-w-w… You _won!_ You were quicker on the draw, your jokes were funnier, and Eggman probably hates you more right now!"

"Actually, I despise you both the same."

Sonic ignored the man. "So please come back! My – _gah!_ " The hero hastily leaned back when Metal's head popped right back on his shoulders. His opticals flashed back on.

Then they narrowed. "Why are you so close to me?"

The room collectively sighed in relief. Sonic would've hugged the bot if the threat of being impaled wasn't there. "No reason!" The hero exclaimed, wondering if Metal had actually heard all that he said.

Metal stared at him before seeing all the eyes on him. He didn't have a clue to what was going on, but he dismissed it. He had to set something straight. "That tie meant nothing. I am still better than you in every way, copy."

_This is the first and last time that I don't mind those words._ "Whatever you say, Metal!" he chirped before returning to the couch, Tails sitting beside him and Amy on the other side of the kid. Tails didn't even mind that much. There was space between him and Shadow and that's all that mattered.

The robot watched as Shadow, Knuckles, and Eggman claimed the other sofa, looking…off. His artificial curiosity won out. "What happened while I was offline?"

"Panic." Knuckles grunted, still nursing his hand.

"Fear," Eggman provided.

"Desperation." Shadow palmed the forgotten remote. "Don't blow up again, or I'll kill you."

"As if I will let you."

The striped hedgie bit his lip to keep from retorting crisply. They've wasted too much time already. He started the show.

**The scene began with the sun shining over an outdoor restaurant. Sonic and Amy were waiting in line at the cashier's counter to order.**

What happened just moments before instantly left Amy's mind when her brain mentally screamed _date._ "Oh my gosh! They're on a dinner date!" She squealed. "So perfect!"

Tails tapped his chin, his blood pressure having returned to normal. No one should be that scared in their lifetime. "At a burger joint though…? There have to be better places right?"

"The _place_ isn't the issue, Tails!" Sonic quietly hissed. "It shouldn't be happening at all!"

Tails just smiled at him. "It's going to be happening often, it seems like. Wouldn't it be better to get used to it?"

Sonic took a deep breath. The last five minutes had been too much. He needed to lay down.

" **Man, I am starving!" Sonic rubbed a hand on his stomach. "Next exit: MunchyTown, population: us."**

Knuckles cringed, from the words he just heard and the fact that _dammit_ that floor was hard. It hadn't been one of the kit's brighter ideas. "I keep saying that my double needs to shut up…but Sonic, yours does too."

_And he needs to get a stern talking to,_ Sonic mentally grumbled.

**The person in front of them had gotten their food, so Sonic was about to step up to the cashier. However, Eggman instantly slid in, cutting the line.**

**The doctor had his hands on his hips. "Hey, no cutsies! I was here first!"**

" **No way, Egghead!" Sonic argued, Amy frowning beside him. "We've been waiting!"**

" **Um…" The blue-furred, bucktooth worker cleared his throat. "I believe the barrel-chested gentleman with the luxuriant mustache was first."**

"What?" Amy growled. "Our doubles were clearly there first! What is he trying to do? Sabotage their date?!" Her hammer materialized again. "I'll pound him into next week!"

Tails gave her a worried glance. "Um…you can't hit him, Amy…"

The pinkette was frowning at the screen, her hammer poofing away. "Luckily for him…"

" **What?" Sonic asked, astonished. "Are you serious?!"**

**Amy patted him on the shoulder, voice gentle. "Sonic, let's not make a scene." The blue blur reluctantly calmed down.**

"Ooo…" Knuckles' bad mood was gone now, replaced with a more mocking one. Sonic already knew what was coming, for he was sinking dejectedly into his seat like he had just burnt his last chili dog. "Must be a strong bond Sonic if she can calm you down like that."

"Of course it is!" Amy singsonged. "Like them, when we get together, our minds will be in synch and…" She sighed contently, staring off into space. "It'll be a dream come true!"

"More like night terror…" Sonic muttered, shivering at the thought of her smothering him.

"What was that?" Her tone was sharp.

"Nothing! I sneezed."

**Eggman's smile was wide. "That's how we do it! Score one for Eggman!" Music began to play out of nowhere, and the doctor did a victory dance. Sonic and Amy were unenthused. Eggman stroked his hairy upper lip. "Just gotta flash the 'stache!"**

Eggman wondered if someone could ever un-see something.

Sonic snorted, ignoring his doom for a moment. "When's the last time you've seen those dance moves, Eggy? Fifty years ago?"

Knuckles scoffed. "More like seventy-five."

"The accurate number is sixty-seven years ago," Metal corrected.

Eggman's mustache flared. "I am _not_ that old!"

Sonic pursed his lips. "Really? So that's _not_ a grey hair I see?"

The man quickly covered his plume of hair before glaring at the blue menace. "I'm not in the mood for your games, cactus!"

"Who said that I'm playing?"

The doctor's eyes widened marginally behind his glasses. He turned toward Knuckles and Shadow. "I _don't_ have grey hair on my mustache." Shadow didn't pay him any attention – no shock there – and the echidna just threw him an amused look. That didn't help him at all! He needed to know if he needed to buy hair die after this!

**A moment later, the pair of hedgehogs were sitting at a table, impatiently waiting for their food. Sonic glanced off to the side to reveal that Eggman was enjoying a burger, a side of fries, and a cold drink.**

**The human was chewing loudly. "Mmm, now that's good!" He met Sonic's gaze, tone smug. "How's yours over there? Oh right…Yours isn't ready yet!" Sonic scowled before turning away. Eggman chuckled evilly. "Should have been** _**faster** _ **, Sonic!"**

That was the worst insult Sonic's ever heard. He gestured wildly at the television. "Is he just going to sit there and take that!? I would've knocked over his food, at least! If anyone's slow, it's Egghead!"

"Even if Sonic didn't, I would've!" Amy chimed in, heated. True love always had gotten her fired up. "No one insults my husband and gets away from it!"

"Husband?" Sonic forcefully laughed, feeling a little twitchy. "Good joke Ames!"

She looked at him oddly. "But I wasn't-"

"You should take that on the road!"

"But-"

Sonic continued laughing, the sound growing strained with each passing second.

**The cashier then approached the heroes' table with a tray. "Okay, here we are. Two double burgers with extra pickles." He placed the tray down rather roughly, the bun of one of the burgers sliding off.**

**Sonic peered closer at the pickle slices littered everywhere before huffing. "I said** _**no** _ **pickles."**

"That guy is a complete jerk!" Tails observed after giving Sonic a concerned look, wondering why the cashier was acting like that.

Knuckles agreed. "Seriously. What's his problem?"

"I would've given that Faker a jar of pickles," Shadow simply said.

Tails wrung his fingers together. "But that's because you're _you_ , Shadow." The striped hedgie couldn't argue that. "We don't know why the cashier's acting like that though…"

**Over at his own table, Eggman was laughing loudly. "This is the best day ever!" He was about to take another bite of his burger when someone coughed beside him. The doctor rose a brow at the cashier.**

" **I'm Dave." He introduced himself. "Big fan of yours, sir. I've studied all of your attacks!" Dave began to list them off. "The Bee Bot gambit, the lair gambit, the** _ **gambit**_ **gambit!"**

"An admirer of evil schemes?" Eggman hummed. "If he was a fan of me, it would be fine, but since he's a fan of the _other_ me, something has to be wrong with him."

"Obviously." Metal twirled the rope attached to him around his finger. "Has he not seen the other's idiotic failures?"

"Probably not." Knuckles crossed his arms, the pain in his hand slowly fading. "Most of his day is spent brushing his giant teeth."

**Eggman nodded. "Ah yes. That one was** _**doubly** _ **risky! I like the cut of your jib. How'd you like to be my unpaid intern?"**

" **It'd be an** _ **honor**_ **to work for you without pay," Dave gushed.**

" **Did I mention that I like you, jib-cut-wise?"**

"The heck is a _jib?"_

"Don't look at me, pincushion. I don't have a clue."

**Eggman and Dave were now in the doctor's lair walking around.**

" **Wow!" the intern exclaimed. "I'm really here! Where do I start?"**

**Eggman thought for a moment. "Even though you're only an intern, there's an important job that I can't trust Orbot and Cubot to do." He suddenly had a mop in his hand. "Mop the bathroom."**

" **Mop the** _ **bathroom**_ **?" Dave repeated incredulously before grabbing the mop. "Wow! Back at Meh Burger-"**

"Meh Burger?" Knuckles repeated with a frown. "That sounds the opposite of good. Why would people even go there?"

"Maybe the food is actually good though," Tails said. "I mean, the other Sonic and Amy apparently don't mind it."

The guardian leaned his head back on the cushion. Those two must have really low standards. And that was coming from him, an echidna who didn't mind eating the occasional cricket as a snack.

" **-I have to be a manager to do that!" After saluting the doctor, Dave ran toward the bathroom with Orbot and Cubot off to the side, watching.**

"What…is wrong with him?" Amy didn't know what to think. Interrupting their date, giving Sonic pickles, and know racing to clean another man's smelly filth? Hopefully this guy wasn't around for long, like that beaver.

Tails tilted his head. "I mean, Dave _has_ been working at a fast food place. So he's gotta be used to dirty bathrooms."

Sonic couldn't wrap his head around this, back to normal now that _that_ scene was over. "But why _Eggman?_ He could've looked up to my double, or Tails', anyone's!"

"Not mine." Knuckles corrected.

Sonic fixed his words. "Alright, not Knuckles'…and not Sticks either. If Dave did, he would've been downright _insane_ in the membrane."

" **You two could learn a thing or two from this kid." Eggman told the robots. The red and yellow mechs just looked unsurely at each other.**

"Don't." Eggman deadpanned. They were already bad enough; they didn't need that kid to rub off on them.

**While Dave was taking out the trash, the helper bots observed with narrowed eyes.**

" **This intern worries my circuits." Orbot commented, facing his robotic friend. "I fear that his enthusiasm for the most menial tasks causes us to appear inferior by comparison."**

" **Yeah!" Cubot agreed. "And he's making us look bad too! He does more sucking up than my cousin Susan. And she's a vacuum!"**

"How…does that work?"

"It does not," Metal answered Tails. "Robots do not have blood, so they cannot have similar genes."

Sonic threw an arm around the kit's shoulders. "Tails and I aren't related, but we're bros! What are you tryin' to say?"

"I am saying that robots do not have blood. Are you difficult of hearing like the doctor?"

Both Sonic and Eggman indignantly huffed.

**Dave, hiding around a corner, heard all of this and didn't look too happy. He stomped off.**

"And…there goes the plot for this one." Knuckles sighed. He already wanted it over so Dave could leave.

**A little while later, Orbot was searching around for his friend. "Cubot? Cubot?" He glanced up and down hallways. "Cubot, where have you gone?" He picked a direction, eventually coming across a partially opened door. The robot ducked under it. "Cubot?" He called, peering through the darkness. "Are you there?"**

**Orbot activated his eye flashlights, scanning the small room. Then, oil dropped from the ceiling and splattered on his head. Startled, Orbot wiped it off. "My word…" He shifted his attention up to see a trap door with the black substance oozing from it.**

**Orbot pulled the rope attached to it, and Cubot – in pieces – tumbled out and crashed to the ground. The red bot shouted in horror.**

"That terrible excuse for a robot will be repaired within five minutes, and he knows that," Metal uttered. "There is no reason for that disgrace to feel horrified."

The rest of the room shared a knowing look, suddenly sympathetic for the red bot. They've gone through the same, and it had _not_ been pretty.

Spontaneous terror wasn't good for anybody.

**In another part of the lair, Dave was cleaning a shelf with a sponge. Eggman was laying contently on a couch. "I could build a robot to do this, but there's something about unpaid labor that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside."**

"You did eat a _Meh_ burger." Amy scrunched her nose up, wondering what _exactly_ was in those patties. "That's probably your stomach yelling at you."

Tails' own belly churned when a thought occurred to him. "Is that why he asked Dave to mop the bathroom?"

Knuckles gagged along with many others. "Thank you Tails, for that imagery."

**Dave was now scrubbing under a table. He continued to do so before spotting something of interest. The intern stood from his squatting position, staring in awe at a complicated machine with wheels, red lights, and a parted claw-like structure pointing skywards.**

**The light blue rodent gestured to it. "What's this?"**

**Eggman humbly waved him off. "Oh, just my old doomsday device."**

Tails replayed those words in his mind. " _Just_ a doomsday device? Doomsday, as in…destroy the _world_ doomsday?!"

Eggman face-palmed. "He can't rule over a world if there's no world to _rule!_ " He didn't think that his twin would be the one to cause it!

"And he's so nonchalant about it." Knuckles frowned. "Like the end of days _isn't_ in the same room as him."

"The other us have to get there quick!" Sonic scratched under his nose. "Or else-"

"Or else the whole dimension will be wiped out and we'll be able to leave. Which is fine by me." Multiple pairs of eyes stared at Shadow, and he shrugged. "I'm tired as hell."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "But that doesn't mean that you can just _kill-_ "

"Yes it does."

**Dave circled it, gaping. "It's magnificent! I bet it could destroy a hundred worlds!"**

**The doctor forced a chuckle. "Maybe not a hundred…" He sat up on his sofa. "But if I connected that power supply…one definitely."**

"One is more than enough," Shadow muttered to himself.

**Orbot then ran into the room with the parts of Cubot in his hold. "Dr. Eggman! Sir!" The man focused on him. "It's Cubot! He's been…disassembled!"**

" **Bah, I don't have time for you two." Eggman grumbled and gestured to the intern. "Can't you see that I'm enjoying some quality time with my protégé?" He pinched the bridge of his nose and regarded Dave. "So where were we…ah yes. You were praising me." Eggman glared at Orbot. "You were** _ **leaving**_ **."**

**Orbot slumped, anger in his eyes, before turning and exiting the room.**

Metal cocked his head. "He cannot be upset at that kind of treatment. They deserve to be dismantled."

Sonic rose a brow. "What if Dave got to you, huh? Would you want me to leave you outta commission?"

"That situation is illogical. Dave does not exist here, I would defeat him if he targeted me, and you would rather celebrate your victory – which will never happen – than reboot me."

"You got me there." Sonic chuckled, trying to forget his earlier freak out episode. "But you get my point though!"

"No. I do not."

The hero just threw his arms up in exasperation.

**The scene changed to Tails' workshop.**

" **Here it is!" The yellow kit held up a small device, turning a crank on the side. "The reverse polarizer! It takes any force and reverses it." He explained before flushing a toilet, Sonic stepping up beside him to watch.**

Sonic let out a relieved breath. The other Amy wasn't there.

Tails was gawking at the invention. "That's so cool! My twin is thinking of things that have never crossed my mind before!"

Amy was confused about the use of it. "But what would you even use it for?"

Knuckles gestured at the screen. "Toilets, for one thing…"

**The water was flowing in the counterclockwise direction, but when Tails activated his invention, the water flowed clockwise and rose out of the bowl. It splashed back down after a few seconds.**

**Sonic held up a plunger. "Guess we won't be needing this anymore." He threw it somewhere behind him.**

"Uh…" Sonic creased his brow. "Yes you do! Water went all over the place! If you actually use it to _unclog_ the toilet then-"

"-shit is going to go everywhere." Shadow pointed out. "Literally."

**There was a knock on the door, and the brothers whirled around to see a worried Orbot with a plunger on his head.**

**The robot waved when the two ran towards him. "Hello! Odd request. Could I trouble you to reassemble my dismantled cohort?" He pointed to a deactivated Cubot on the floor.**

Knuckles scoffed. " _Please_ don't tell me they're going to fix that robot up."

"Looks that way," Tails uttered, mind still stuck on that wonderful piece of machinery. Yeah, he had _no_ idea what he'd use it for, but it would be a great collector's item!

"But _why?_ "

"Because everyone in that dimension has the IQ of a walnut." Eggman groused. The medicine he had taken earlier was protecting him from the headaches, but he knew that _one_ more bout of stupidity would send it forward.

**Back in Eggman's lair, Dave was vacuuming.**

"I wonder if that's Cubot's cousin." Amy pondered out loud.

**Eggman, seeing his work ethic, praised him. "Good job! The next thing I need you to do is to clean up the robo-litter box." Said item was filled with litter, nuts, and bolts with robotic flies hovering around it.**

"Hey, Metal. Do you-"

"Absolutely _not_. Mention it again, and I will gut you, echidna."

"It was an innocent question," Knuckles grumbled under his breath.

**Dave stared at it dispassionately. "Um, actually, Dr. Eggman…" He coughed. "Now that you consider me your protégé, I was kinda hoping to get a little evil experience? Like concoct a scheme together…maybe I could, pitch some ideas?"**

Tails didn't understand. "Why is he so desperate? Why does he even want to be evil?"

Sonic snorted. "He's probably mad at everyone who has normal sized teeth."

**Eggman put a hand on the other's shoulder. "Listen Dave…you're a terrible kid, and that's great!" His tone was soft yet patronizing. "But you have to start at the bottom of the evil ladder and work your way up."**

**Dave gestured to himself. "But I've spent the last year and a half in the fast food industry."**

"I'll give him that one." Eggman stroked his 'stach that was lush and definitely _not_ greying.

**Eggman didn't care. "Let's give it…a few more weeks, huh?"**

" **A few more weeks?" Rage filtered into his voice. "A few more** _ **weeks?!**_ **I can't sit around indefinitely! What do you think I am? A Meh burger?" –** Amy winced at that – **Dave ran past Eggman into the hallway. Eggman chased after him until the rodent locked himself inside a room.**

**The doctor gritted his teeth. "You come out this instant!"**

" **No!" Dave opposed, voice muffled. "I'll show you! I'm going to be an evil genius no matter what you say!" The sound of activated tools went off behind the door, and Eggman got closer to it to listen better.**

" **David…" Eggman drew out the name like a parent would. "What's going on in there?"**

Sonic snickered. "Eggy, if you ever talk like that, my respect for you will go down the drain."

Eggman growled at him. "As if I would even stoopso low to-" He paused when something occurred to him. "You don't respect me at _all_ , rodent!"

"Exactly. It would be in the negatives."

"Similarly like his chances of ever winning a battle."

Eggman threw Metal an ugly look. "You just _had_ to say that, didn't you?"

"Of course."

" **Nothing!"**

**The human growled. "You stop that right now, young man! That is** _**my** _ **doomsday device!"**

" **Then maybe you shouldn't have locked the power supply in here then…and maybe I shouldn't put the power supply in my** _ **pants!**_ **"**

" **You're not wearing any pants!" Eggman yelled.**

"… **Then what are these pockets?"**

Tails had a worried frown on his muzzle. "He…might need to get that checked out by a doctor."

Amy nodded. "Immediately."

**Eggman somewhat grimaced before the tools started up again. His eye twitched. "That better not be what I think it is!"**

" **Depends on whether you think it's a doomsday device…that I just activated!"**

**Eggman blinked. "Actually, I thought it was my panini press." He clenched his fists. "But this is worse!" He then ran off.**

"His panini…" The doctor slumped in his seat, holding his head in his hands. "Every episode just gets _worse!"_ He could only take so much!

Shadow didn't feel bad for him. At least Eggman was here for a _reason_. Shadow swore if his double didn't even exist, if he was just here for the _thing's_ entertainment, then he was going to go off on anything and everything. After getting some rest, of course.

**Back with Tails and Sonic, the kit was finishing up putting Cubot back together. After flipping a switch, the yellow bot's eyes flashed and he was back online.**

**Cubot quickly sat up, shaking off Tails' hands. "Watch where you're grabbing there, bozo!"**

Tails puffed his cheeks. "He didn't even say thank you!"

" **Hazaa!" Orbot cheered. "He's fixed!" His excitement dulled a little. "Cubot…Tell us what happened to you!"**

**The yellow mech answered immediately. "It's Dave! He dismantled me! And I liked being mantled…"**

Eggman just shook his head in disbelief.

**In the evil lair, Eggman was busy working on something. "Activated my doomsday device, huh?" he muttered to himself. "I'll show you!"**

**The camera panned out, and it was revealed that he was working on a panini press. He picked up the cooked panini and bit into it.**

Sonic licked his lips. "That actually looks good. Not gonna lie."

Knuckles patted his stomach. "That makes me kinda hungry. Isn't it almost lunch time?"

"You can get whatever you need _after_ this damn thing is over." Shadow nearly growled, ignoring how hungry he was. He should have eaten those eggs instead of dumping them on the floor.

**Eggman then focused on a second doomsday device that he had built. The doctor went over and activated a timer, counting down from thirty minutes.**

**The device hummed to life, and a blue sphere of energy floated above the invention.**

Amy bit her lip in concern. "Oh no…"

**Miles away, an alarm was going off in Tails' workshop.**

**The kit sprinted over to the laptop making that sound and opened it. A map of Eggman's base popped up with two pulsating red dots onscreen.**

" **Whoa…" Tails studied what was shown. "I'm reading two weird energy signatures from Eggman's lair."**

" **What are they?" Sonic inquired, peering over the fox's shoulder.**

Knuckles hummed to himself. He believed that it was safe to say that neither he or Sticks were going to be in this one. That fact alone made this episode one of the better ones in his opinion.

" **Judging from how powerful and unstable they are…" Tails locked eyes with the speedster. "I'd say it can only be some kind of doomsday device. Two of them!"**

"That's a _huge_ jump." Tails played with his namesakes. "They could've been anything! A doomsday device – let alone _two_ of them – would be the last thing on my mind."

"What would you have said it was, Tails?" Sonic asked.

"Two microwaves on the fritz."

**The scene switched again to Eggman. The human was standing by his activated invention, facing the open hallway. He cupped his mouth and shouted, "I'll have you know that I just set off** _**my** _ **doomsday device, and it's going to destroy the world even bigger than that one!"**

**He nearly jumped out of his skin when there was a loud crash behind him. Sonic had broken down a sizeable chunk of wall, strolling inside.**

" **Game over, Eggman! Shut off the doomsday devices!" the hero ordered.**

Sonic pumped a fist. "Woo! Go me! Save the world!"

**Eggman mockingly laughed at him. "Shut off? Who puts an off switch on a doomsday device?"**

**Sonic blinked before scratching his head. "You make a valid point."**

Sonic lowered his hand and pouted. So much for a that plan. "So what if he does? Don't ever _tell_ him that!"

**The hedgehog turned on the communicator on his wrist and spoke into it. "Bad news. There's no off switch."**

**Tails looked unimpressed as he flew his plane. "Well, yeah. Who puts an off switch on a doomsday device?"**

Eggman and Tails glanced at each other. The kid hesitantly smiled. "Great minds…think alike?"

"'Great' is pushing it," the human mumbled.

**Sonic resisted rolling his eyes. "So what now?"**

" **This is a long shot, but it's our only chance." The kit glanced down at a radar in his dashboard. "If we increase the energy output of both devices and get them vibrating at opposite frequencies, then there's a small chance that they will cancel each other out."**

Tails beamed. "That's a great plan! A negative and a positive will cancel out and be nothing!" He was so proud of his other self. He was _way_ more reliable than the other twins.

**Most of those words flew over Sonic's head. "Yeah…just for a second pretend that I'm** _**not** _ **a science guy."**

"It wasn't _that_ hard to understand," Knuckles said.

"Totally!" Sonic concurred. "Energy and frequencies, _pfft_. So easy!"

Tails just gave his brother a knowing look.

**Tails obliged. "Get Eggman to increase his device's power. I'll do the same with Dave."**

Knuckles furrowed his brow. "Wait…did Eggman just hear all of their plan? He hadn't been standing that far away from Sonic."

"He _should_ have." Sonic tapped his foot on the floor. "But given this show's track record…"

**The kit flew closer to the evil lair, activating jet packs on his plane to allow him to hover right outside one of the windows.**

Tails really needed to start taking notes.

**Dave slid the opaque pane of glass over. "I'm sorry, we're closed." He then remembered where he was. "Oh wait, this isn't the drive-thru. What do you want?" he asked forcefully.**

**Tails jumped out of his seat, walked on the wing, and hopped unto the window ledge. He grinned. "I'm here to help!"**

**Dave frowned. "I don't need your help!"**

" **I guess not…" Tails began flippantly. "If you're okay with Eggman destroying the world bigger than you…"**

"Oh wow…he's manipulative!" Amy giggled before addressing the kit. "I can never see you doing that, Tails! You're too innocent!"

The fox didn't know if that was an insult or not. "Thanks?"

" **No way!" Dave pointed to the side. "Drive up to the next window and come in."**

**Over on Eggman's device, it showed that twenty minutes remained. The doctor was sitting by the machine wearing a party hat and a party horn in his mouth, waiting for it to go off.**

Eggman gestured to the television. "That…all of that is just _wrong_."

"Welp! It shows that he _didn't_ overhear the conversation." Sonic shrugged. "Somehow. Which is weird, because they weren't even whisperin'."

"This show is a gift that keeps giving…" Knuckles sighed.

"At least it means that the other Eggman will be easy to take down!" Amy wanted to stay positive even though it was very hard to. "You know, if the heroes don't mess up too badly!"

Knuckles scoffed. "That's a tall order for them."

"Well, the other Tails is pretty smart!"

The echidna eyed her. "Do I need to remind you of the sleepover?"

Amy blinked. "Yeah…nevermind."

" **Eggman!" Said human blew the horn in surprise before turning to see Sonic run in with Orbot and Cubot in toe. "Dave supercharged his machine with thousand bolt batteries!"**

**The horn fell out of the doctor's mouth. "High voltage batteries, huh?" He made a fist. "I'll show him!" He tore off his party hat before jogging over to a side door. After putting in a code, it slid open to reveal rather empty shelves.**

Eggman wasn't even surprised. 'Not properly stocked' was just another thing he had to add to the _long_ list of things wrong with his other self.

**A montage started, beginning with Tails watching as Dave worked on his machine. Then, Sonic was shown pedaling on a stationary bike, a cord attached to the exercise machine. As the hedgehog went faster, more charge was pumped into the cord…which led to a measly fan. It helped keep Eggman cool as he studied his invention.**

Sonic couldn't believe this. "If you're using me for my awesome abilities, put it to good use! That fan doesn't even look like it's cooling him down at all!"

Metal glanced at him. "Are you sure that it is the fan's fault? Maybe you are not as good as you think you are."

Sonic narrowed his eyes at him. "Do you want to go at this again, Metal? Because-"

"No, Sonic!" Tails gripped his arm, eyes wide. "We _can't_ let that happen again!"

The hero sucked in his breath, the urge to defend himself dying down. His ego had made him forget temporarily that having Metal's head explode a _second_ time was probably a death sentence.

He mended his words. "Nevermind. I should be appreciative that he's using my speed for somethin', y'know?"

Metal drummed his fingers on the floor. "You are acting more strange than normal."

"You're just imaginin' stuff, Mets!"

"Do not ever call me that again."

Sonic gave the rest of the room a thumbs up when the robot turned away.

**Tails had attached a jumper cable to Dave's doomsday device. He spun around only to see the intern connect it to a toy alligator. The fox facepalmed until he realized that the toy was connected to two electrical generators. Dave chuckled to himself.**

**Sonic was running in place on a piece of carpet. After a moment, he stepped off and placed a hand on the conductive part of Eggman's machine. His quills stood on end as static electricity transferred from him to the device.**

Smiling deviously, Sonic suddenly hopped up and ran into the adjacent kitchen. They didn't have any carpet in the living room, but there was a rug in the kitchen that would do _just_ fine.

"Sonic!" Amy called from the other room. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for a…little snack!" Sonic went to stand over the mat and snickered to himself. He mirrored what he saw on the TV, running in place and rubbing his feet against the rug. He didn't particularly feel anything as he did so, except that his quills were rising off his back.

_Heh. Time for some fun._

With a grin planted on his muzzle. Sonic returned to the living room, and the grin widened when the others stiffened.

"I should've known." Shadow snarled. "Faker, I _swear_ if you touch me, it will be the last thing you'll ever do."

"I'm family!" Tails chuckled warily. "You wouldn't hurt family, right?"

"You wouldn't hurt a girl, would you?" Amy hastily asked before glaring at Metal. "Don't you _dare_ say anything!"

The robot heeded her, but still inwardly questioned her lady-ness. "Touch me copy, and you will die where you stand." Sonic didn't plan on using his newfound 'power' on the bot anyway. The last thing they needed was for him to short out.

Eggman just watched Sonic, more than ready to flee as soon as possible. The rodent was more dangerous now than he ever had been.

Knuckles narrowed his eyes at him. "Do it, I dare you."

Sonic smirked. He knew that those words were supposed to be a threat, but he saw them as an invitation.

He approached the couch the echidna was on with deliberate slowness, observing as all of the 'tough' guys involuntarily tensed up. Tails and Amy sighed in relief.

Sonic held his finger – a dangerous weapon – and pointed to the trio in turn with his words. "Eenie." Shadow. "Meenie." Eggman. "Miney." Knuckles. "Mo." Shadow again.

The striped hedgie bristled his quills while Knuckles relaxed. "Faker, do it and I'll-"

It was then that Sonic shot his hand out and tapped the echidna's knee. Knuckles gasped loudly as static electricity attacked his nerves. _Oh sugar honey iced tea!_ he mentally shouted since his mouth wasn't cooperative at the moment.

Though, his revenge came a second later when his leg involuntarily shot up and kicked Sonic where a male should _never_ be kicked.

Sonic let out a high-pitched squeal before dropping to his knees, cupping the abused area. His side then crashed against the floor with a thud. Pitiful whimpers escaped him as he curled into himself.

Amy winced and she wasn't the one hit. "That has to hurt…"

"That what he gets!" Knuckles said as the twinge in his knee dissipated. He put his foot back on the ground. Granted, he wasn't going to retaliate _that_ intensely, but Sonic had brought it on himself. "Bet you were shocked, huh?"

Sonic whined lowly. "That…was supposed to be…my line…" he wheezed out.

"It was your idiotic idea, rodent. Remember that." Eggman reminded him, extremely amused. He'd rather watch a replay of that than the show.

Shadow wished he had a camera.

Metal produced a huff. "Get off the floor, flawed copy."

Sonic exhaled shakily. "…G-Give me an hour."

**After that, Sonic just stood by as Eggman checked over the powerful weapon. The doctor sighed contently and leaned back. "Oh look at the time! Anyone else hungry?"**

**Sonic put up his hands. "No, don't stop working. I'll make you lunch." He sprinted away and was back in a second with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.**

Sonic still hadn't moved off the ground, and Tails called to him. "Sonic…are you okay?"

His only answer was an incomprehensible gurgle.

Tails figured that was a 'no'.

**Eggman was clearly not happy with it. "What is this? Haven't you made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before?" He pointed to the food item. "You gotta put the peanut butter on** _**both** _ **pieces of bread. Otherwise, the jelly makes it soggy."**

"Isn't that common knowledge though?" Amy questioned, feeling sorry for her future bf but more concerned about the proper construction of pb and j's. This was a pressing matter.

"Again, he is showing his inadequacies." Metal shook his head in disappointment. "I do not consume food, and yet I knew that peanut butter should be on both slices."

**Sonic nodded. "Right. Sure. Of course." He ran off and was back instantly with a fixed sandwich.**

**Eggman examined it before stating, "And you remembered to cut it into triangles, right?"**

" **One sec." Sonic sighed before leaving for a third time.**

**When he came back, Eggman tisked. "The crusts. Do I even have to say it?"**

Tails didn't want to agree with him, but… "I would've been mad about the crusts too."

Amy nodded. "Again, common knowledge!"

"This is the only time that I would agree with my other self." Eggman admitted, disregarding the suffering hedgehog at his feet.

**Sonic loudly groaned.**

**With Dave and Tails, their doomsday device had a red sphere of energy in the middle.**

" **Alright," the yellow anthro began, talking in his communicator. "Dave's device is good to go. How's everything over there?"**

"Again!" Knuckles pointed at the screen. "Dave is right there! How is he not hearing that?"

"Selective deafness?" Tails suggested, really grasping at straws here.

**Sonic was holding up his wrist. "Eh…It's coming along." He glanced over at Eggman, who was grubbing on his sandwich.**

" **Oh yeah." The doctor liked his fingers. "That's the stuff!" He then walked over to the machine, looking at a glowing panel. The device was only at half power…until Eggman hit it one good time. The bar filled up all the way. He gave the hero a thumbs up.**

"That's probably the first time that has _ever_ worked." Eggman wished that fixing his inventions and robots were that easy. He would've punched Metal Sonic _ages_ ago.

" **I hope this works…" Tails said nervously as the timer counted down to zero.**

**Both of the devices spun, shooting their energy spheres through the ceiling and into the sky. They settled there and released waves of energy that disintegrated anything nearby.**

**Sonic, Eggman, Dave, and Tails watched from their respective holes as the energies clashed and seemingly canceled each other out.**

" **What the what?" Dave gasped, shocked.**

**Tails celebrated. "Hey, sweet! We did it!"**

"That…can't be it." Knuckles narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Things had gone too smoothly. "Metal, how long do we have left?"

"Around two minutes."

"Yeah. Something's about to go wrong."

**Then, a very large purple sphere appeared in the sky.**

Knuckles nodded to himself. "There it is."

" **What the what?" Sonic cried out.**

**Satisfaction rolled off Eggman in waves. "Ah…that's more like it!"**

**A vortex formed over the evil lair, creating high winds. Sonic and Tails ran outside to get a better look, their fur whipping around.**

" **There must've been a small power discrepancy!" Tails assumed.**

**Sonic pulled out a lone battery and stared at it before tossing it away. "Let's not point fingers, the important thing is how are we gonna reverse it?!"**

Amy giggled. "He's cute when he's all flustered!"

Knuckles smirked at her. "Careful Amy. You might get Sonic jealous."

She waved him off. "Sonic knows I'll never replace him! And plus, he's in too much pain to pay attention to us right now."

As if on cue, Sonic released a broken groan.

**Tails' expression brightened. "That's it! My reverse polarizer!" He pulled it out of somewhere and started to mess with the nobs.**

"He just conveniently brought it with him?" Alright, Amy knew the difference between luck and plot convenience – she'd seen a lot of rom coms – and _that_ was plot convenience to the max.

"Better question: _where_ did he get it from?" Tails asked, lips twitching downward. No one could give him a response.

**The kit began his explanation. "If you can get close enough, you can reverse the gravitational pull and force it to close in on itself!" They paid no attention to a tree being sucked in.**

**Sonic looked doubtful. "But…?"**

**Tails looked at him. "But if you're too slow, you'll be pulled into the black hole forever and all existence will be erased."**

"Too…slow…?" Sonic's strained voice filled the air. "Those are…fighting words…"

The downed hero gasped as he uncurled himself and carefully sat up. The pain was still very much there, but he had to move before Shadow decided to use him as a foot stool.

Sonic didn't risk standing up. He weakly glared a grinning echidna before crawling ever-so-gently back to his seat. Sonic slumped down into the cushion. "I'm gonna… _so_ get you back…for that, Knux."

The guardian arched a brow. "And what exactly did _I_ do? _You_ came over here, shocked _me_ , and I just reacted. If anything, we're even." _Technically_ they were even. Knuckles would take being shocked to being in Sonic's shoes any day.

Sonic just knew that, from now on, he was going to be mindful of where a person's foot was _before_ he pranked them.

**Sonic scoffed, smirking. "Too slow? Ha!" He grabbed the reverse polarizer. "You forgot who you're talking to!" Sonic rocketed away, running up the side of the evil base until he got to the very top. A multitude of random objects were getting sucked into the blackhole overhead.**

**Not wasting time, the hero hopped from item to item until he got to the edge of the swirling hole. He activated the polarizer and threw it into the vortex of purple energy. Sonic tried to ground himself, but items kept hitting him in the face. From milk, to pie, to a surfboard. He nudged the wood out of his way and bounced from item to item, aiming downwards this time.**

**When the polarizer nullified the energy, there was a loud sound and a bright light before it disappeared.**

" _Now_ they did it!" Tails smiled, thankful that they didn't have to watch people get swallowed up by a growing void.

Shadow was almost disappointed.

**Sonic fell right out of the sky and crashed into the ground, leaving a body-sized crater. Sonic shook off the impact as Tails peered down at him. "You still think a plunger would've worked just as well?" he asked with a smug grin. Sonic just smiled at him.**

**At the entrance of the base, Eggman was yanking one of Dave's ears. "You little twerp! Your interning days are through! You're** _**fired!** _ **"**

Eggman needed to never see his other self again. "You shouldn't have hired him in the first place. You didn't do a background check or anything!"

**Dave frowned sheepishly before venturing, "But you are gonna give me a positive evaluation, right?"**

" **GET OUT!" Eggman shouted in his face, and the former intern ran away screaming. The doctor faced Orbot and Cubot. "And you two, I have an assignment for you."**

**Cubot high-fived his robotic friend. "We're back, baby!"**

**Eggman held up a mop and a bucket. "Mop up the bathroom."**

"Jeez…" Sonic breathed out, thinking that he'd rather go without chili dogs for a month than go through this pain again. "What _exactly_ happens in that bathroom…to have to be cleaned up so much?"

Amy stuck her tongue out in disgust. "It's the Meh burger! It must've _really_ disagreed with Eggman."

**The robots slumped.**

**Dave was back in the village, muttering to himself. "They'll pay for this… They're all gonna pay!" He laughed evilly before inquiring the customer in front of him, "Do you want fries with that?"**

"So he's coming back later. Great." Knuckles complained, but then his mood lifted a bit. "But this one wasn't so bad, with dumb and dumber not in it."

"Stop talking bad about Sticks!" Amy frowned at him. "She's a good friend! That trait just hasn't…been shown yet!"

Knuckles doubted it will.

Eggman leaned against the arm of the couch. "The only thing I liked about the show is that it gave the cactus an idea that led to his suffering."

"That was a highlight for me too." Shadow jumped on that bandwagon.

"It was also entertaining for me." Metal chimed in.

Tails looked indecisive. "He did have it coming…"

Sonic wanted to trade his friends in. For real this time.


	9. Chapter 9

Sonic was constantly squirming in his seat, unable to get comfortable in his terrible condition – that he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemy. The worst part was that it _lingered._ Hopefully his running wouldn't be affected by this. "You guys can't spare at least… _one_ ounce of sympathy for me?"

Knuckles scoffed. If _he_ hadn't been the one targeted, then maybe. But as it was… "You deserve it after getting the dumb idea from your even dumber alternate self."

Metal wholeheartedly agreed. "It was a complete lapse in judgement, copy. I would say that you should learn from this painful lesson, but you have never done so in the past."

Sonic went to cross his legs, but a pained jolt from a particular… _region_ stopped that action right then and there. "Lesson learned." He should've gotten Shadow. He would gladly take a broken nose over this.

"My stay here became a bit more bearable." Shadow propped his head on his palm, leaning against the arm of the couch. "Especially if you keep hurting yourself." Sonic's pain was his gain.

Tails wrung his hands together. "Yeah, don't have any more ideas like those, Sonic… I don't think you'll survive another kick."

Sonic violently cringed just thinking about it.

Amy threw him a comforting smile. "Don't worry! It should get better in…uh…" She glanced at the rest of the males for help, not knowing how long the discomfort lasted.

"Hopefully the pain will last we leave this blasted place." The weak glare Eggman received didn't faze him at all. The doctor just crossed his arms and reluctantly focused on the television. He read the title of the episode, and he heavily groaned. " _Please_ don't tell me that there will be more than one of my irritating double…"

"Considering that 'Egghead' is what my copy's copy calls the alternative doctor, and now it is plural…" Metal glanced back at a fuming Eggman. "…the chances are high that more inadequate humans will make this experience all the more unbearable."

Tails hummed to himself. "If there are more Eggmans…then that might actually be very bad for our other selves…"

"Yeah." Knuckles rolled his eyes. "They can barely stop _one_ Eggman's plans."

Shadow's mood nearly rose at the prospect of the heroes losing and potentially ending this little show, but then he remembered that no matter what happened, they still had _hours_ of damn content to watch. A prominent frown marred his muzzle as he played the episode. At least seeing them lose would be _something_ to look forward to.

**There was a thunderstorm raging above Eggman's island, lightning brightening up the darkened sky.**

"Wait…" A thought just popped into Tails' mind. His brows were furrowed. "If he's on an island, then how do people come and go so easily? Like Dave! He just ran away!"

"You do make a point!" Amy now noticed how weird that was. "He ran off the island? So did he swim _all_ the way back?" If he did, _wow_ did he have amazing stamina for a scrawny little thing.

Knuckles imagined Dave struggling to keep his head above rough waves. "Let's just say he swam. That'll teach him for being annoying."

**Eggman was in a similarly as dark room with many machines, laughing evilly while working on something. "Yes, my minions… This may very well be my greatest creation yet!"**

**Thunder and lightning increased outside.**

Creation? Eggman just accepted his fate. He was doomed to watch multiple clones of him flounder around and fail at being villainous.

Why oh why did his other self have to be so _imaginative?_

**Orbot and Cubot were hugging each other, trembling, while Eggman plucked a hair from his mustache and placed it into a device similar to an oven. His DNA was transmitted through a blue tube into another compartment.**

" **Yes…yes!" Eggman smiled wickedly. "Rise my creation,** _ **rise!**_ **"**

Sonic chuckled, it coming out breathier than normal. "He's seriously cloning himself? I mean, I don't blame him. Robot company isn't the best company in the world."

Eggman reluctantly agreed, but he didn't dare say it out loud. He'd never hear the end of it. Spending time in vast bases surrounded by deadly robots got lonely from time to time.

"I mean…ignoring the that Metal constantly wants to kill you and refuses the _fact_ that I'm a lady-"

"It is not fact."

Amy kept going like the robot hadn't spoken. "-he's not bad company. He seriously could be worse."

"Like Omochao." Sonic inwardly shuddered. "Yeah, Metal, thanks for not being an annoying pint-sized bag of bolts that I wanted to constantly kick into the nearest dumpster."

Metal cocked his head at him. "I sense latent anger."

"Omochao taught me that there is such a thing as being ' _too_ helpful'."

**More DNA was transferred, lightning flashed, and the nozzles attached to the machine flew off, filling the room with ominous smoke. Eggman continued to laugh throatily; his helper bots were still fearing for their lives.**

**That was until a high-pitched ding echoed around the room, simultaneously turning the overhead lights on.**

**Eggman grabbed whatever was in the compartment and presented it to Orbot and Cubot with a victorious chuckle. He was holding six cookies on a tray.**

Knuckles was surprised, but he knew that he shouldn't have been. Expect the unexpected was the motto for this show, along with 'it's okay to be stupid'. "He baked…cookies…?"

Amy scrunched her nose up. "They probably taste like sweat, desperation…and pieces of Meh burger he has to get caught in his hair."

Tails shook his head to oust that imaginary taste. "Yuck…"

Eggman avoided thinking about it as well. Instead, he asked, "Why would _cookies_ be the first thing to come up with? What is he even-" He cut himself off when it clicked. He was both dreading this outcome and slightly curious to what would happen next. "Hmm."

Knuckles rose a brow at him. "Got anything to say, Eggman?"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough."

**Orbot blinked in confusion. "All that for…cookies?"**

" _ **Evil**_ **cookies!" Eggman mended, picking one of the baked goods up.**

Tails snapped his fingers, understanding. "He put his DNA into the cookies to turn the heroes evil!"

Sonic blinked. "Whoa what? Really?" If that was the case, then this episode was about to get _real_ interesting.

"Yeah!" Tails affirmed. "And the title of this makes sense too!" He then added more quietly, "But still…cookies?"

"Evil doubles of ourselves…" Knuckles pondered aloud before derisively snorting. "Honestly, the only one who might be a problem would be the other Sonic."

"Just like here!" Sonic grinned, more than glad that the feeling was slowly but surely fading away. "Oh man, I'd make the _best_ bad guy!"

"You'd be the best at talking people to death." Shadow bluntly muttered.

"That'd be another one of my super evil powers! Mwa-haha!"

Tails endured Sonic's terrible evil laugh. "What about me? I'd make an amazing bad guy!" He was smart, creative, and could dive-bomb anyone he wanted!

Sonic ruffled his bangs. "Nah, little bro. You're too fluffy to be evil. And plus, you'd just be like Eggy, and you see how _he_ ended up."

While Tails slumped, Eggman growled deeply. "I have you know-!"

Knuckles didn't let him finish. The echidna was smirking at the blue blur. "You? Evil? You'd be taken care of after one hit!" Sonic gasped, but before he could defend himself – _anyone_ would be out for the count after _that_ – Knuckles continued, "And yeah, you got speed, but you don't have the strength to back it up."

"I have more strength than you do speed, Knux!" Sonic taunted right back. "Your sprint is my speed-walk at _best._ "

"I'm _not_ that slow!"

Amy then hopped into the conversation, gesturing to herself. "If Sonic was the best bad guy, I'd be his just as evil girl-"

Sonic _really_ didn't need her to finish that sentence. "You're pretty strong, Ames, but you couldn't take me on!" The speedster glanced over to his rival. "The only one who'd have a chance would be Shads! But he's not even good at bein' a bad guy, so it wouldn't even matter."

Shadow knew that he shouldn't get riled up, but dammit. "What in the hell do you mean by _that_ , Faker?" He could blow this whole room to smithereens if he had a chance to.

Sonic cheekily grinned, shrugging. "Oh I dunno… You're just so wishywashy! I know how to stick to one side in a fight, you on the other hand…" He laughed while Shadow scowled. "I appreciate you choosin' the right side in the end, but if we all were evil, then I'd totally kick your indecisive butt!"

Shadow had to keep himself from launching at the other to show how 'indecisive' he was. Only the Faker would use his good morals _against_ him.

"I am the darkest of days, _Sonic._ " Shadow threw him a heated glare. "I'm the worst villain, not you." He had almost sided with aliens against the human race amidst at near apocalypse, and he had almost blown up the damn _planet._ He wasn't going to argue with Sonic. He was the best, period.

Sonic just waved him off. He had proved his point well enough.

" **Sweet!" Cubot raised a hand. "I'll go get the evil milk!" He left the room, the other two watching him go.**

"Don't forget the evil ham!" Amy chirped, giggling when Eggman face-palmed.

"And the evil toaster." Sonic jeered Metal's way. "Just in case the cookies get cold."

"…Who toasts cookies?" Tails asked.

Metal clenched a fist. "Annoying copies who do not care about dying at the hands of their superior."

**The scene changed to a cozy shack. A robotic arm extended to place a basket of evil cookies and milk near the doorstep before disappearing.**

**Sonic was exiting the shack. When he got near his door, he sniffed around until he found the basket. He grinned happily. "Wow, cookies!"**

"He's not suspicious of them at all?" Knuckles simply shook his head. Their other selves would probably walk into a minefield if ice cream was promised. "A normal person would be like 'Oh, where did these come from?'"

"Not really…" Tails opposed. "Any treats left at our doorstep get eaten instantly. _Especially_ if they're cookies."

Sonic chuckled. "You wouldn't understand, Knux. You don't get treats delivered to that big rock of yours often, do ya?"

"I get _plenty_ , thank you!" Knuckles lied through his teeth. His life was devoid of free sugary treats. One regret he had living up on Angel Island.

**Sonic picked one up. "Hope this turns out better than the last time someone left baked goods on my doorstep."**

**There was a flashback showing a large cake sitting on Sonic's porch with a candle on top. Then, Knuckles popped halfway out of the cake, holding sparklers in his hands and smiling.**

Knuckles sighed heavily. He was hoping that his twin wouldn't show up in this episode either, but that went down the drain. "I'm not even going to ask…"

"I am, because that's just…" Tails scratched his head. "What is he doing, exactly?"

"'What' isn't the question." Knuckles grumbled. "We need to know _'why'_."

**Sonic stared at him blankly for a long moment until the smile melted away. "Awkward?" Knuckles asked.**

" **Awkward." Sonic agreed.**

Sonic nodded. "Knux, don't ever do that."

"I wouldn't even if you paid me."

**The echidna looked a bit flustered. "It'll uh…" He glanced at the ongoing sparklers. "…just be another minute."**

**The flashback ended with Sonic shaking himself out of that memory. He was about to take a bite of the cookie, but a message tone gained his attention.**

**He pressed a button on it and Tails' voice came through. "Hey Sonic, are you there? I need a little help."**

" **Is it urgent, Tails?" Sonic wistfully stared at the cookie in his hand. "I'm sort of in the middle of something."**

**Tails was at his workshop hiding behind a bench from his out-of-control vacuum robot. He hastily avoided a flying wench. "Um, yeah?" He then ducked out of sight.**

"Uh oh, Tails." Knuckles' lips twitched upwards. "A robot tearing apart the place? Looks like your double might be on the same playing field as the other twins."

"I still have faith!" Tails defended his other self. He was still _way_ less uh…quirky than the other ones. "It was just one mess-up! And plus, his cool inventions cancel out the ones that go wrong!"

**Back at Sonic's shack, the hedgehog gave in. "Okay. I'm on my way, buddy." He dropped the cookie in the basket before running off.**

Amy pursed her lips. "Does he not know how to multitask? It's a cookie! I don't want him to eat it, but at the same time, it can't be _that_ hard to eat and run at the same time!"

Relief and disappointment at his double's actions swirled within Sonic.

"Seeing any blue pincushion that idiotic should make my day." Eggman began, "But right now, it's severely irritating to watch."

The rest of the room shared his sentiments.

**Eggman was shown watching the events on his large monitor. He punched the table in front of him in anger. "Come back and eat that cookie, you mutant blue rat!"**

Knuckles pointed out _more_ of the stupidity they have to put up with. "And another thing…even if they _do_ turn evil, there's no way they're going to work for Eggman."

"Yeah!" Amy played with one her quills. "It'll be like six Eggmans working together." She regarded the doctor. "Would you want to work with yourself?"

"Absolutely not." Eggman had already worked with a younger version of himself and did not go well at _all_.

"If they all act like the doctor, then all of them will be incompetent," Metal said.

"Maybe they'll all take themselves out somehow."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Shadow, homicide isn't the only answer, y'know."

"But it is an option."

**The doctor stood up in alarm when Knuckles appeared on the screen, noticing the basket. "No no no!"**

Knuckles shook his head in exasperation. "One stupid evil echidna, coming right up."

**The red echidna grabbed a cookie and the bottle of milk. "Don't mind if I do!" He tossed the dessert into the air before catching it in his mouth. Knuckles promptly threw the bottle on the air as well-**

Tails was suddenly concerned. He didn't want the other Knuckles to lose any more brain cells, if he had more to lose. "Is he really going to eat the bottle of milk too?" That was the opposite of healthy and safe.

**-before catching it in his other hand and attempting to drink it.**

Tails let out a relieved breath, and Knuckles was actually impressed that his twin didn't choke on glass.

**Nothing came out at first. He shook it, and suddenly milk splashed on his face. He almost instantly fell down out of frame, an orange light glowing brightly.**

_Of course it would be showy_ , Sonic thought. He guessed every Eggman shared that trait. "Too bad that there wasn't any evil ham."

"Can't you forget about that _already_ , cactus?!"

"Nope!"

**With Sonic and Tails, they were using chairs to try to fend off the vacuum bot.**

" **Back!" Sonic shouted, swinging his 'weapon'. "Back I say!"**

**The vacuum bot didn't give up, continuing to attack.**

"Uh…can't they just press the off button?" Amy questioned. "I swear they struggle with the simplest things!"

"Also, that robot seems easy to destroy." Metal added. "The alternative copy should have been torn it apart. That universe requires help and needs to put out of its misery."

Shadow grunted. "Tell me something I don't know."

**The basket of cookies was sitting alone until Amy strolled up.**

Amy slumped. She thought maybe her twin wouldn't find them.

**She gripped the handle, looking delighted. "Aw…I knew Sonic wouldn't forget my birthday!" She took a cookie. "It's four months late, but it's the thought that counts!"**

The pinkette didn't know what to make of that. "What in the…That doesn't even make any sense! My logic for Sonic loving me without question is way better than hers, right?"

Complete and utter silence.

Amy whipped her head in Sonic's direction and asked louder, " _Right?!_ "

Caught in the middle, Tails subtly flinched and leaned into his brother's side. Sonic felt a cold sweat form on his brow. A twitching smile grew. "You're right, Ames! Absolutely right! Hundred percent! You are less crazy than your double! Guaranteed!"

Amy smiled. "I knew that you'd agree!

"You know…" Tails whispered to Sonic. "I think she would be the best bad guy…"

Sonic couldn't argue that.

**Eggman, who was still watching, growled in frustration. "Gah! Why would he leave** _**your** _ **birthday present on** _**his** _ **porch? Where's the logic there?!"**

"Exactly!" Amy felt extremely verified.

Eggman doubted there was _any_ logic in that reality.

**Amy ate the cookie and suddenly froze up. She yelled in surprise as she fell to the ground. An orange light emitted from her not a second later.**

"Two down," Knuckles uttered.

**Sonic and Tails were having a rough time with the robot. The kit was running away from the bot, but it managed to suck him up. Sonic pulled Tails free only to end up harshly crashing into the nearby wall.**

Sonic tapped his foot on the ground. "They are really takin' their time with that bot, huh?"

**Eggman slammed his hand on the table, glaring at his monitor showing the remaining cookies. "That's it! The last two cookies are for Sonic, and nobody else!"**

"Two?" Tails repeated. "There were six to start with! Knuckles and Amy ate one each, so where did the other two go?"

Sonic snickered. "Welp. There are two wild birds out there schemin' something evil. I feel _really_ bad for some random person's head right now."

**Sticks was then seen taking one of the cookies. Eggman was visibly upset. "Oh come on!"**

**She had walked behind a rock before taking a bite.**

" **Hey!" Eggman exclaimed. "Put that back!"**

Eggman resisted the urge to pull out his 'stache hairs. "She can't _hear_ you, you imbecile!"

Metal produced a scoff. "The definition of irony."

**The same orange light from before glowed brightly.**

"So it's between Sonic and Tails now!" Amy observed. "Who's not going to eat it?"

Tails tapped his chin. "…Sonic, probably. The whole time Eggman wanted so badly for Sonic to turn evil, so with how this show is…"

"The complete _opposite_ will take place!" Sonic scratched his nose, lips curled upwards. "Which isn't that different from the norm around here."

Eggman simply took a deep breath and kept his blood pressure low.

Amy frowned in worry. "So the other Sonic's going to have to fight his friends? I don't want to see that!"

"You've got no other choice." Shadow wouldn't mind seeing the other Faker take a beating. "So just watch."

**Sonic was now running along the next of the vacuum bot. Getting to its head, Sonic tied the robot by the nozzle. However, the increased built-up pressure caused the invention to explode. Dust was scattered everywhere.**

**Tails was appalled. "Look at this mess! I just vacuumed!"**

Tails couldn't help it. He chuckled.

Knuckles didn't blame him. "I _guess_ it's acceptable for him because he's still a kid. And he helps more than hurts." Unlike _some_ other members of Team Sonic. Or rather, most. Two of the five were bearable, but he didn't know how long Sonic's twin would hold out.

**With the lone cookie, a wild moose was approaching the basket. It sniffed the treat.**

Sonic blinked. "An evil moose? Never would've thought."

" **Get…Get out of here!" Eggman ordered the animal even though his words wouldn't be heard.**

**The moose ran away when Sonic and Tails walked up.**

" **So yeah. A feather duster might be the better way to go," Sonic advised before glancing down at the basket. "Oh, hey! I forgot about these." He gasped when he realized that people had been taking them. "What the heck? There's only one left!"**

" **Yes…" Eggman whispered to himself. "Eat it! Eat the cookie!"**

Eggman wanted to cover his ears and glue his eyelids shut. "Does he _have_ to sound so desperate?" Both Sonic and Metal glanced at him, and he glared hard. "Not. A. Word."

**Sonic picked the last one up and was about to shove it into his mouth, but Tails spoke up. "Sonic, wait!" The kit pointed to the food item. "Don't eat that cookie!"**

Tails perked up. "Did he notice something about it?"

"If he did, that's impressive!" Amy exclaimed.

**Eggman was thrown aback. "What?"**

" **Why?" Sonic curiously asked.**

**Tails scratched his arm meekly. "Well…chocolate chunk is my favorite…"**

Tails was slightly disappointed – his other self could've been awesome there – but then he realized that he could seriously go for a chocolate chunk cookie right now.

"I'm calling it. Tails is done." Knuckles linked his hands behind his head. "So….an evil genius, an evil idiot, an evil girlfriend-" He shot Sonic a grin; it wasn't appreciated. "-an evil feral badger, and Eggman are going to be against Sonic."

"The doctor is still going to lose," Metal confidently stated.

Eggman couldn't bring himself to oppose. Somehow, all of this was going to go bad for his double.

" **You gotta be kidding me!" the doctor cried in anguish.**

**Sonic sighed. "Fine." He tossed the cookie to the fox. "I'll just go inside and make a sandwich or something…" He went into his shack, leaving Tails outside.**

"Using regularham."

"Shut up, you _rat!_ "

**The kit bit into the cookie and hummed at the taste. "Mmm, chocolate chunk!" He swallowed. "Ooo, with a hint of cinnamon! And a touch of…" Tails collapsed, and there was that orange light again. A shaky hand rose. "…evil…"**

Knuckles had to say it. "So, like Dave, Sonic has selective deafness too? He _had_ to hear that."

Sonic shrugged. "Making sandwiches is an art. You need upmost concentration, Knux!"

Tails glanced at him. "What, are you Professor Pickle now?"

"Just a bit."

**Eggman's lair was then shown.**

" **You'll never get away with this, Eggman!" Amy's disembodied voice shouted.**

" **Sonic will see you coming from a mile away!" Tails added.**

Amy cocked her head. "Wait…does that mean they're _not_ evil? Did Eggman just kidnap them?"

Tails frowned at the screen. "Good question…"

**Inside of the base, Knuckles, Amy, Tails, and Sticks were huddled around a table with lush mustaches. All of them wore malicious smirks.**

Shadow was _so_ glad that he wasn't there.

Amy gasped, rubbing her cheeks. "No! No no no! My cute _faccceeee!_ "

Sonic was doubled over laughing while Knuckles and Tails watched, traumatized. "What…" The echidna couldn't form the rest of his words, his mind too shocked to function properly.

Tails' jaw was scrapping the ground. "Uh…I guess…the cookies…had side effects?"

"One in particular." Metal marginally shook his head. "And it is quite unsightly."

Eggman needed this episode to be over, immediately. His mustache was one of a kind! Not just anyone should be able to wear it! This was just insulting.

" **Yeah!" Sticks clenched a fist. "If we wanna trap Sonic, we got to** _ **think**_ **like Sonic!"**

Sonic struggled to rein himself back in. He was struggling for breath, laughing too hard. "This…is…gold! Who…cares about them being…evil!" He pointed at the TV. "Just…Just _look!_ " His chortles filled the room as he held his sides.

Amy wriggled in her seat. "I feel violated…" This was just so _wrong._

Tails covered his upper lip as if he'd grow hair there in the next second.

Knuckles simply didn't focus on his other self. It was the only thing he could do.

While they were freaking out, Eggman compared his 'stache to theirs and felt a bit better at seeing that his was lusher.

**Eggman was behind them all, grinning widely. "This is even better than I hoped! Five evil genius masterminds!"**

**Knuckles glanced at him. "Actually, I'm an evil mastermind of average intelligence."**

Sonic wiped away a tear. "This is the funniest thing…I've ever seen!"

"I wish my twin hated chocolate chunk…" Tails mumbled.

Knuckles nearly rolled his eyes at what his double said before muttering, "Hopefully they find a razor fast."

**The doctor deadpanned. "Five evil genius masterminds…give or take." He then smugly yelled, "Working together under my leadership, we'll be unstoppable!"**

**Amy pushed him out of the way. "Here's the plan!" She began moving around figurines of themselves on a map. "We wait at the beach shack for Sonic, and then bombard it with an all-out robot assault from five different sides!"**

Amy fought to ignore the giant bush on her twin's lip. "She's really evil…no gf would want to do that to their boyfriend!" Her breath then hitched when a thought came to her. "What if Sonic stops liking her because of what she looks like?! Oh no!"

_All would not be lost_ , Sonic thought as he calmed back down.

" **No, no, no!" Sticks stepped up with a badnik figurine. "What we should do is tunnel underneath to bypass his defenses!"**

"What defenses does he have?" Metal questioned the badger's flawed thinking. "He is a single hedgehog on foot. Just go attack him. Spill blood."

Shadow stifled a yawn. "I doubt they'll get to the attacking part."

**Tails had a small Bee bot toy. "We should attack from above by plane!"**

That was a good plan, but Tails _really_ didn't want them to go through with it.

**Knuckles pounded the table with his fist. "We have to get rid of his stupid friends first!"**

Knuckles wanted to hit his twin. Very hard.

**Amy scowled. "Robo-assault!"**

" **Tunnel!" Sticks emphasized.**

" **Airplane!" Tails piped up.**

" **Robo-assault!"**

" **Tunnel!"**

" **Airplane!"**

**Knuckles rose his arms and shouted, "I'm yelling words!"**

Knuckles figured that his fists weren't enough. He needed a crowbar.

**Eggman had enough. "Calm down! Even though you're evil geniuses now-" He glanced at Knuckles. "-for the most part, you lack experience. Time for a crash course in villainy!"**

"And _Eggy's_ gonna teach them?" Sonic still couldn't believe that his alternate friends had gotten mustaches. What's was next? Them blowing up to the body size of an egg? "Yeah, there's no way they're gonna beat my twin!"

"Usually multiple heads are better than one, but…" Amy shuddered. "Those mustaches will haunt my nightmares…"

**Later, Eggman was standing in the front of a room with a chalkboard while the rest were sitting in desks. He held up a finger. "Evil lesson number one: berating your underlings!" He addressed one of his helper bots. "Orbot, would you kindly hand out the work sheets?"**

**Orbot nodded. "Gladly, sir."**

**He moved forward to do so, but Eggman stopped the robot with a ruler. "Not that work sheet, you dunderhead!" Eggman knocked the papers out of Orbot's arms and into the air, regarding his students. "See? It's that easy!"**

**The sheets landed on the desks, and Sonic's former friends wrote down notes.**

Eggman hummed. "For being evil, and basically 'clones' of me, they are being quite submissive."

Metal crossed his arms. "All you need to do is wait until they realize that your copy does not know what he is doing. Then chaos would surely ensue."

**A little white later, they all were in Eggman's monitor room.**

" **Lesson number four…" Eggman began. "…Surveillance!" All eyes focused on the large screen, which was showing different parts of the lair. "There's nothing more evil than recording your subjects without their knowledge."**

Tails glanced around the room before settling his gaze back onto the screen. "By that definition…does that make _us_ evil? We are watching _them_ …"

Sonic shook his head. "Nah. All this is probably pre-recorded. It's like watchin' a reality TV show, so we all – well, most of us – are still good!"

Tails nodded before asking, "Wait…do you think that our twins are watching _our_ lives right now?"

The speedster pursed his lips. "Huh, never thought of that, Tails. They could be!"

Knuckles snorted. "If they are, then they'll be in for the shock of their lives once they learn that I am _not_ a buff airhead."

"And that I am confident in the pursuit of love!" Amy boldly exclaimed.

" _And_ that their adventures are children's play compared to ours!" Sonic snickered, revisiting memories of taking on hordes of robots, conquering a water god, and ending a near apocalypse. Good times.

Sapphire orbs glimpsed over to an unenthused striped hedgie. "And they might be terrified of Shadow, depending on what they watch…" Tails brought up.

Shadow believed that was a fair assumption. Metal, not so much. "Him? They should fear me more than the Ultimate Lifeform. Like my copy said before, his objective is never stable. I never lose sight of mine."

"Oh you will when I crack your damn head open," the striped Mobian borderline snarled.

Sonic wiggled his finger at him. "No Shads! Bad! Don't even think about hurting him!" Another scare like the one before would probably give him a heart attack.

Shadow glared at his rival before pointedly looking away. Faker had a point. He'd wait to dismantle Metal _after_ they were freed from his hellhole.

Metal didn't appreciate the help at all. "I do not need you protecting me, copy."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "You're welcome." He was more protecting the well-being of everyone _else_ anyway.

**The monitor stopped on Orbot and Cubot playing around. Cubot was wearing a Viking helmet and chanting, "Ota ho ha! Ota ho ha!" while Orbot bowed in front of him.**

**Eggman held his head in his hands. "Get me a monkey wrench. I'll fix that."**

**Knuckles gestured to the screen. "What, the security camera?"**

**The human shook his head. "No."**

"Do not fix them. Destroy them," Metal adamantly said.

"I would do that _for_ him if I could." Eggman sighed.

**In a different room with stools and mirrors, the four 'stached anthros were grooming their faces.**

'Why' was repeated many times in Amy's mind like a frenzied chant. "Just cut them off! There have to be trimmers, razors, or scissors _somewhere!_ "

Knuckles ran a hand down his face. "It's pointless, Amy. We just have to endure it."

**Eggman was pacing behind them. "Lesson number seven: mustache care and maintenance. Fifty strokes every morning, but don't overdo it!"**

**Tails paused in his combing. "Or what?"**

**Sticks crossed her arms, showing her poofed up facial hair. "Don't ask."**

Eggman almost felt bad for her. He'd have his whole day ruined if his mustache was uncooperative.

**In the classroom again, Eggman was pointing at numbers on the chalkboard. "Lesson number twelve: lesson numbering. Evil lessons should be numbered as followed: '1, 4, 7, 12, 16'."**

Tails tilted his head. "I might not be evil, but I'm pretty sure that's not a real rule."

Eggman rubbed his temples, hoping the effects of the medicine would last until they got out of this house. "I'm positive that he made that rule up because he forgot what numbers were between one and four." He honestly wouldn't be surprised.

**The group was positioned outside now. "Lesson number sixteen…" Eggman held up and aimed a ray gun, his four followers having some as well. "…Target practice!"**

Shadow's interest slightly rose at the appearance of guns.

**All of them fired at the panicking helper bots.**

" **We must procure assistance…" Orbot suggested while ducking under a blast.**

" **We don't have time for that!" Cubot argued, avoiding the multitude of shots. "Let's just get help!" They both fled the scene.**

"I don't get them." Knuckles frowned. "So, they're on Eggman's side, but they frequently ask the heroes for help. That's like me going to Eggman and asking him to stitch up a cut or something."

If that ever were to happen, Eggman would slam the door in the echidna's face. "There's nothing to get, guardian. My double is so bad at being evil that even his stupid robots constantly go rogue."

**Sonic was relaxing in a hammock strung up in his shack. He was peacefully watching TV.**

Sonic crossed his legs, only a soft pang coming from them now. "I'm not even mad at him. I mean, everyone has their own house – even Tails for some odd reason – so he can't know that they all turned evil, growing the most _ridiculous_ 'staches I've ever seen."

" _ **And now back to Pawn Shop Wars: Gogoba Edition!"**_ **a television announcer said.**

**A white citizen with a grass hat and large ears was conversating with a clerk, holding an item.** _**"Can I afford to give you two hundred for this? No, but you seem like a nice fellow, and I suppose my children could go hungry for a couple nights…"** _

Tails flinched. "Harsh… I wouldn't ever want to talk to a guy like that!"

"Yeah, he'll most likely find some way to make you feel guilty for _breathing_ ," Knuckles said.

**Twigs cracked outside of Sonic's home, and he turned his attention to where the sound came from. Orbot was standing at his window. The red bot raised a hand in greeting. "Hello…"**

**In the lair, they were in the classroom.**

**Eggman was grinning. "So far so good! Now the written exam. The topic is…how to capture Sonic. You may begin!"**

**The students started writing, but then was interrupted when Sonic burst into the room. "Pencils down, Eggheads!" he ordered while glaring at the doctor.**

Sonic blinked. "What? Is he not going to address that his friends have hairy caterpillars on their lips?"

"I'm glad that he's ignoring them!" Amy piped up. "I'd be _so_ embarrassed if I was seen like that!"

**Eggman wasn't fazed. "Clones, change of plans! Your written exam is now a practical!" He thrusted a finger in Sonic's direction. "ATTACK!"**

**Tails, Amy, and Sticks got into ready stances, but Knuckles instead charged at Eggman. The doctor stopped his attempt, turning him around. "Not me, Sonic!"**

**Knuckles' eyes widened in realization. "Oh…right. I hope that doesn't affect my grade…"**

"Evil mastermind of average intelligence my _ass_." Every episode Knuckles' double appeared in just really wrote in stone how _lucky_ Knuckles was to not have met him in person.

Tails frowned in confusion. "I just…What exactly _happened_ to him?" The other echidna was worrisomely missing common sense.

" **Enough of this!" Amy materialized her piko piko hammer. "** _ **I'm**_ **taking charge!" She swings her weapon at Sonic, who skillfully dodges.**

"Don't hurt his beautiful face, you mustached hag!"

Multiple eyes stared at Amy in shock.

Amy, suddenly embarrassed, cleared her throat. "Sorry. Went too far."

" **Amy, what are you doing?" the blue blur asked before dodging another powerful swing. "You guys are my friends!" He ducked a swift attack.**

**Knuckles smirked. "Your** _**evil** _ **friends." He then looked at Eggman for approval.**

**The man frowned. "Stop sucking up!"**

Eggman addressed Knuckles. "I've never been so appreciative of your stubborn and gullible yet _intelligent_ personality."

Knuckles didn't even care that it was a passive aggressive insult. "Understandable."

**Amy, Sticks, and Knuckles all charged at Sonic together, making him strain to avoid from getting hit.**

**Sonic looked at them. "You guys! You gotta snap out of it! This isn't you! It's the cookies!"**

**He put some distance between himself and them, but then Tails crept up behind Sonic in his own hovercraft. A group of robots were following him. The kit laughed menacingly as they surrounded the azure speedster.**

Sonic didn't like what he was seeing. "Uh…what? Take those robots out, other me! What are you doing?" It wasn't like he was going to hurt his friends while he was at it! What, did they only start battling Eggman like a couple months ago, or something?

**Eggman strolled closer, clapping. "Wonderful work, everyone! Finally! After all my years of trying, I've captured Sonic the hedgehog!"**

"Years?" Sonic gaped. "So they _have_ had the experience!"

"It is just that they are simply idiotic. There is no other explanation," Metal provided. "Even you are smarter than your double."

Sonic disregarded that jab. "That just makes ten times worse! They've _fought_ Eggy many times and still-!"

Tails bit his lip. "I kinda feel bad for them! Like, I wish we could teach them how to _actually_ deal with Eggman!"

The doctor shook his head. "You don't need to, because my double is so _inept_ that their ways of 'handling him' actually works."

"I'm sure that if we somehow could send Charmy and Cream there, then they could take of Eggman better than our twins could…" Knuckles muttered.

" **What do you mean** _ **you**_ **captured Sonic?" Amy questioned heatedly. "This is clearly the result of** _ **my**_ **leadership!"**

Metal gestured at the screen. "There it is. Right there. The point where the doctor's poorly made plan crumbles."

**Tails narrowed his eyes. "You were losing until I deployed the robots!"**

"They have too much pride…" Tails uttered, watching things unravel.

**Sticks glared at the both of them. "With all of you arguing, I can't hear the voices in my head!"**

" **I'm an evil mastermind of average intelligence!" Knuckles' voice rose above all others.**

Amy furrowed her brow. "Those two…are really something, aren't they?"

Knuckles explosively sighed. "Understatement of the freaking millennium."

**Then, the mustached former heroes turned on each other, blasts from multiple ray guns making the room a war zone. Eggman gasped and ducked for cover until Sonic ran over and yanked him behind a chalkboard.**

**Sonic put a hand on his hip, addressing the recovering doctor. "This didn't work out as you planned, huh Eggface?"**

"That's it?" Sonic could think of _many_ stronger ways of satisfyingly rubbing the situation into the human's face. "Tease him more! Hurt his feelings! Make him cry!"

Eggman scowled at him. "How many times, rodent, have I told you that I do not _cry!"_

"Many times. I don't listen to lies though."

" **Why won't those other 'me's' listen to me?" Eggman nearly whined. "I only want what's best for me!"**

Eggman did too, but he usually _thought_ about his plans beforehand.

**Sonic peered around the chalkboard and focused on the DNA machine across the room. He hummed in thought. "Hmm, I think I know how to fix this."**

"You better!" Sonic huffed. "To make up for your lack of snarky remarks!"

" **Do you?" Eggman was relieved. "Boy, that will be great." Sonic ran off into the fray, unnoticed by the human who continued on. "'Cause I…I got so much going on, and I…My plate is full, you know. I've got…I've looked at the calendar, and…"**

"It _has_ to be something in the water." Knuckles reasoned. "Because this is insane! Yeah, Eggman talks a lot of nonsense-" The human beside him weakly growled. "-but it was never _this_ annoying!"

**As Eggman talked in the background, Sonic rushed and destroyed a few Bee bots before getting close to the DNA machine like he wanted. Sonic plucked a small quill from his head and placed it in the oven-like machine.**

Tails understood the other Sonic's plan. "So he's going to make cookies with his DNA, and make everyone…like him?"

Sonic perked up, grinning. "He's gonna do that? That'll be-"

"Horrifyingly annoying." Shadow hoped that the kit was wrong. There were only so many Sonics he could take before snapping. "I'd rather keep the four hairy doctor clones."

Sonic overdramatically gasped. "Shads! I thought we were friends! That hurts my feelings!"

"That's why I said it."

**A cookie-**

_Only one?_ Eggman thought to himself before his gut dropped. _…Oh no. No!_

**-was baked a swift moment later. Sonic opened the compartment, and the cookie went flying towards Eggman, who was still talking.**

**The doctor was stepping out from behind the chalkboard. "So yeah. If you can help me out with that, that will be-" The cookie landed in his mouth, cutting him off. His muscles started to violently twitch until he was a blue color, smiling wide. Sonic had returned to his side as the man shouted, "Let's crack these eggheads!"**

Amy honestly didn't know what was worse. The mustaches or that blue monstrosity. "Now _that_ is nightmare fuel."

Eggman and Sonic couldn't agree more.

"Eggy, _promise_ me that you'll never make that oven." Sonic felt highly uncomfortable. This wasn't what he pictured, and he wanted it taken away immediately.

The doctor could only nod, the horror before him chasing comprehensible words away.

**With those words, the blue allies sprinted forward and spin attacked multiple robots, bouncing off the bots and walls to destroy them. After landing, Eggman quickly sidestepped an attack from Knuckles. "I can get used to this!" he exclaimed before gracefully avoiding another one of the echidna's punches.**

"This is probably the only time I've rooted for my double," Knuckles disappointingly said.

**Sonic was again dodging Amy's hammer until he got an opening. He tripped the pinkette up, sending her crashing into Sticks.**

"It's good that he's fighting them without actually hurting them…" Amy was partially relieved and partially scarred for life. "But, he _seriously_ couldn't do that without changing Eggman?!"

**Eggman was busy running away from Tails' rapid-fire blasts.**

**Sonic turned his attention to the human. "Hold them off, Eggman! I'll be right back!" He ran out of the room.**

**The blue blur sprinted all the way to Amy's home. He entered and picked up a brush full of her pink quills. Next, he headed for Tails' place, grabbing one of the fox's headphones. Then, he sought out Knuckles' workout bench on the beach. He found the echidna's headband.**

**Lastly, Sonic entered Sticks' burrow and came across a strange doll with her hairs in it. "Ew, gross!" He groaned before taking it.**

Knuckles eyed the screen. "What was _that?_ " Sticks was seriously crazy. Their doubles needed to drop her – and the guardian's twin – as soon as possible before she performed some type of voodoo.

**He met back up with the blue Eggman, holding up four strands of fur. "Let's get baking!"**

"Couldn't he just get the fur from the ones in the room…?" Tails questioned. With how fast Sonic could go, yanking a couple strands of fur from the distracted 'eggheads' would've been way easier.

"Better safe than sorry?" Sonic tried to defend his other self.

Eggman didn't bother explaining that their DNA had been altered, so it would've been pointless. He didn't want to be seen defending any blue hedgehog's actions.

**Eggman donned an oven mitt with a grin.**

**A ding filled the air a short while later, and the doctor pulled out four baked cookies of different colors and quantity of hair. Eggman tossed them up into the air, and Sonic spin dashed them in separate directions, sending them into the mouths of his former friends.**

"Now what if someone ate the wrong cookie?" Amy put out there after the tension left her. The ugly mustaches were gone, hopefully forever.

Knuckles had an answer. "Imagine the other me with your personality."

Both Amy and Sonic had never looked so terrified.

The echidna cracked a grin. "Exactly."

**Tails felt his face. "I feel like myself again!"**

" **I'm also back to feeling like myself again." Knuckles chuckled. "Knock on wood…" He knocked on his head. "Who is it?"**

Knuckles' grin fell faster than Eggman on a treadmill. Any enjoyment he got out of this experience was instantly wiped away whenever his double spoke.

" **Yeah, and the best part is…now we're all on the same team!" Eggman gushed, and the others faced him. "We'll fight side-by-side, together!"**

Tails shuddered. "That doesn't sound reassuring like it's supposed to."

**Team Sonic shared unpleased looks, and Sticks hurled the last evil cookie in the doctor's direction.**

Sonic – hastily getting rid of the mental picture of buffy Knuckles chasing him around and giggling crazily – cheered. "I don't know where she even got that from, but thank _you_ Sticks!"

" **One for all, and all for-" Eggman swallowed the cookie, turning him back to normal. His frown was prominent. "Okay, fun's over! I gotta get back to work! Evil doesn't brilliantly plan and execute itself, you know!" Eggman growled before walking off.**

"Brilliantly is a massive stretch." Metal commented. That doctor was worse at evil than the one in the room, and that was saying tons.

"That episode was…" Tails couldn't find the right word for it. He was torn between interesting, horrifying, and… The kit glanced down at his belly when he felt it growl. He placed a hand on top of it. It _was_ around lunch time. "Is anyone else hungry?"

Eggman rounded on him. "How can you focus on food after we've seen things that should _not_ have been seen?"

The man's words went unanswered as Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles raised their hands. Shadow's stomach then imitated a whale's call. The striped hedgehog cursed under his breath something about mutiny.

Tails hopped out of his seat. "I'll see what we have!" He needed to do anything to forget about the 'eggheads' and the Sonic-Eggman.

"I'll go with you!" Sonic was up quick as lightning before Amy even had the thought to scoot over. The blue blur glanced over at Eggman. "Want some food too, Eggy?"

The man hesitated for a moment. "…I swear, hedgehog, if you poison-"

Sonic scoffed. "What do you take me for? I'm not _Shadow._ " He felt the Ultimate Lifeform's glare on his back as he and Tails entered the kitchen.

The kit headed straight for the fridge and opened it. Tails sucked in a sharp breath when he noticed how empty the appliance looked.

"What's wrong little br…oh." Sonic peered over the fox's shoulder and saw their barren wasteland of a refrigerator. That wasn't good.

Tails reached in and pulled out the only item in sight: an egg carton. He opened it up to find one lonely egg he hadn't used before because it was cracked, leaky, and somewhat smelly. "Uh oh…" he breathed out. Wide sapphires met observant emeralds orbs. "Today was the day we were gonna stock up, Sonic!"

"No need to panic, Tails! We'll find somethin'!" Sonic went to the freezer and flung the door open. There was nothing but small ice crystals coating the sides. Smothering any panic, the hero then searched the cabinets lining the walls. "Anything!"

When Sonic banged around the place, the worst possible scenario troubled Tails' mind. He replaced the egg carton, swallowing thickly. They didn't have any food. He should've noticed before, but he had been distracted by everything and _oh my gosh, we're going to starve!_

As Sonic debated how they all were going to split up a half-empty jar of honey, shaky fingers gripped his arm. "S-Sonic! We're all going to go hungry, and there's no way out, and I don't want to eat you!"

The speedster slowly blinked down at the frenzied fox before putting the jar back on the shelf. He put his hands on the kit's shoulders. "Calm down, Tails! No one's gonna eat anybody, okay?"

"But-"

"We're only here for about nine hours, yeah?" Sonic inwardly cringed saying that number out loud. Sure, it was less than nine now, but _still_. "We'll get somethin' to eat when we're done with the show!"

Identical guttural rumbles pierced the air.

Tails' ears drooped. "This is going to be terrible…"

_Tell me about it._ Sonic bobbed his head toward the living room. "Now let's share the bad news, yeah?" Tails nodded before trailing after the hedgehog. Once they were back in the living room, Sonic clapped his hands together with a grin. All attention was on him. "Okay, so…we don't have any more food."

Knuckles sat up in his seat, unable to tell if this was a prank or not. "What? You're joking." The echidna's gaze switched to Tails, who didn't look too happy. "Tell me that this is a joke!"

"Unless you want a half-used jar of honey, then yeah…" the kit trailed off.

Sonic rubbed the back of his neck. "Heh, we _were_ supposed to go grocery shoppin' today, but you know." He gestured to the general area. "So, we gotta go without food until the thing let's us-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, for Eggman and Shadow pushed past him, a just as frantic Knuckles and Amy following them.

"Why is that consuming calories a necessity?" Metal asked from his spot on the floor. "It does nothing but waste time."

Tails looked oddly at him. He couldn't be too surprised though; Metal _was_ a robot who probably didn't know any better. "Us eating food is like you needing to recharge."

"I have an infinite power supply, but I understand your attempt at an analogy. Do you organic beings power down if in need of nourishment?"

Before Tails could answer that, there was a crash in the kitchen. The kit whirled around and sprinted to the other room, not wanting the place trashed a _second_ time. He didn't know if the thing would help again.

Sonic held up a finger at Metal, "Hold that thought," before running after the kit.

When the brothers met with the rest of the group, they saw Eggman, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow staring at the broken jar of honey on the floor.

The second they noticed Sonic and Tails, most of them pointed to Shadow. A deep glower set on the striped one's muzzle. "Rose bumped into me, so blame _her._ "

"Don't blame me!" Amy jabbed a finger at him. " _You_ should've had a better grip on it! It's not my fault you have butterfingers, mister!"

Shadow was about to snappily retort, but then a mop appeared in the pinkette's hands. Shadow snorted in satisfaction while she groaned.

Some tension rolled off of Tails' shoulders as she cleaned up the mess. "I'm just glad that it was only one thing!"

"Forget about that!" Eggman didn't like this situation. Not one bit. "Let's return to the important matter at hand! I _refuse_ to go without-"

"Well, what do you expect _us_ to do?" Sonic interrupted him, hand on his hip. "It's not about you Eggy. We're _all_ outta luck! We just gotta-" The hero's words died out when he heard something in the adjacent room. It was a soft creak, and was that…wind?

Sonic's eyes widened before he zipped out of the kitchen.

The others shared a look before running after him only to almost crash into the speedster. Sonic was frozen, staring ahead. Many pairs of eyes followed his gaze, and they stiffened.

The front door was wide open. A gentle breeze made its way inside, promising freedom.

Tails didn't allow himself to get excited. "It…has to be a trap, right?"

In stark contrast, all of Sonic's nerves were wired and he was ready to _go_. His grin was massive. "Only one way to find out!" He rushed forward…

…only for the door to slam right in his face.

Sonic cried out and stumbled backwards when pain blossomed from his nose. He gingerly covered it, hissing under his breath and wondering if he had to sit through the rest of this with a stupid broken nose. He just _had_ to jinx himself, didn't he?

"I would laugh, but we have another problem." Shadow's voice made him peer back over his shoulder. Shadow was looking where Metal was sitting, or rather, where the robot was _supposed_ to be sitting. In the bot's place was an open collar.

Metal was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Sonic forgot all about his nose pain for a moment as he gaped like a fish. "Metal's…Metal's _gone?_ But how? _Why_? He was the least deserving out of all of us!"

"He doesn't even _get_ hungry!" Tails exclaimed, his namesakes puffing up in panic as another thought came to him. Frenzied sapphires snapped to the television. "W-Wait! If he's gone, does that mean-!"

"It _better_ not." Shadow growled deeply as he marched over to the discarded remote. He bashed the play button like twenty times before letting out a string of curse words so foul that he put sailors to shame.

Amy put her hands over Tails' ears until he was done. No eight-year-old should lose their innocence like that. "So what…what are we going to do?" The pinkette worriedly asked the others, not liking this situation at _all._ "If Metal Sonic's gone and we can't play the show, then we're _really_ stuck here forever!" She covered her stomach when it rumbled. Why couldn't they be trapped _after_ Sonic and Tails had stocked up on food?

They were not going to stay here and starve if Knuckles could help it. The echidna glared up at the ceiling and yelled at the top of his lungs. "Hey! You stupid _thing!_ " He ignored Tails' quiet 'Don't', gesturing wildly at the door. "Why in the hell did you let _Metal_ go, huh? Why not us!? _He_ won't go hungry, _he_ won't die, and _he_ doesn't have anything to protect! So what the hell?!"

Everyone was still, waiting either for a response or for Knuckles to be violently attacked.

Neither happened.

Tails didn't know what to feel. "It's…ignoring you?"

That was worse than getting an answer they didn't like. Knuckles gritted his teeth. "Tails, give me something I can break." He needed to destroy something with his bare hands _right now_.

The kit blinked at him before grabbing a pillow off the closest couch and tossing it to the echidna. That was the least expensive thing in the room now that Metal couldn't be used as a punching bag. Knuckles roared in anger as he tore it in half, feathers floating in the air.

He then doubled over when he accidentally inhaled one, coughing harshly. Amy patted him on the back, wondering if the _thing_ did that, or if Knuckles had just really bad luck.

Eggman disregarded the raspy wheezes as he jabbed a finger in Sonic's direction, a deep frown marring his face. "I blame _you_ for this, cactus!"

Sonic couldn't believe this. "Me? What in the heck did _I_ do!?"

The human narrowed his eyes. "You left Metal alone out here!"

"I left him-" Sonic stomped over to the doctor. "How in the world was I supposed to know that he was gonna somehow escape? And if you're gonna blame me, blame everyone! Metal wouldn't have been left alone if all of you didn't rush into the kitchen and break the jar of honey!"

Eggman snarled before whirling on Amy, who was still helping a hacking Knuckles out. "So the blame falls on _you!_ "

The pinkette gawked before opposing over a choking echidna. "No it doesn't! I told you, _Shadow_ was the one holding it!"

Shadow glared at her. "And _who_ ended up with the mop?"

Amy puffed out her cheeks in a pout. "Who cares what the _thing_ thinks!" Anger was making her blind to potential unseen dangers. "You caused this, Shadow!"

"No I d-" He sent Knuckles a sharp look when the guardian wheezed loudly. "Can somebody shut him the _hell_ up?"

"I'm…sorry…for… _dying…_ " Knuckles breathily forced out. Tails, seeing how Amy was barely helping him, positioned himself behind the echidna, wrapped his arms around the other's torso, and squeezed. With one last cough, the feather escaped his throat and floated harmlessly to the ground. Knuckles stomped on it as he recovered. "Thanks Tails…but did you _really_ have to get me a pillow?"

Tails slowly blinked. "Well I'm _sorry_ for not getting you something made out of glass! I don't know, maybe I wanted to keep _something_ intact while everything else gets broken!"

"But I almost _died-"_

"I hope you're not blaming me for that, fox," Shadow interjected, his stare heated.

"Well he isn't blaming me!" Amy hopped into the conversation. "I can't reiterate this enough… _you_ dropped the jar!"

Shadow's quills bristled. "We wouldn't have been in there in the first place if _those_ two-" he bobbed his head over at Sonic and Tails. "-learned how to keep a full damn fridge!"

"Hey!" Sonic and Tails yelled at the same time.

And that was when the full-out arguing started.

Most of them were trying to keep the avoid blame of Metal's disappearance, and in turn, Knuckles' near-death experience – he kept bringing that up – while Eggman settled back on one of the sofas, rubbing his temples.

That went on for a while until the first punch was thrown. Shadow had been aiming for Sonic, but then Amy got in the way. She materialized her hammer and swung for the striped 'hog. Shadow ducked however, and the weapon ended up hitting Tails in the side. He hissed in pain before reaching out and wrestling the hammer from her hands, accidentally hitting Knuckles once he did so.

And that was when the full-out battle royale started.

Eggman watched as fists, feet, and a particular hammer flew. Where had he gone wrong in his life?

The Mobians had been too busy with their rather… _intense_ debate and Eggman had been too busy with his self-deprecating thoughts to notice Metal open the front door and enter the home.

However, they all did notice when the door shut behind the robot with a loud slam.

The ones fighting froze. Sonic was on the floor, arms raised to block the hammer about to come down on his still throbbing nose. Amy had been struggling to get Shadow to let her weapon go. Knuckles had Tails in a headlock. They were all bruised, some more than others.

Metal stood there for a moment, soaking the sight in. "I was gone for no longer than ten minutes."

"Ten minutes too long!" Eggman hastily stood up. "How in the world did you get out-"

"Nevermind that!" Sonic sat up, a distracted Shadow making it easy. A delighted smile grew on his muzzle. "He has food!"

The Mobians scampered up to their feet and rushed over to where Metal was. The robot only had three bags, but they were full of stuff. Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow took them out of the bot's hold, shifting through their contents.

"Are those hot dogs?" Sonic asked excitedly, peering over Tails' shoulder.

"And we got an oven cooked pizza!" Knuckles' eyes glistened.

Amy gasped as she pulled out a box of chocolate chip cookies from Shadow's bag and hugged it. "Chocolate! Metal, you're _seriously_ my hero right now!"

"I take that as an insult," Metal instantly said, but Amy didn't seem to care. "Why are you all so content at the moment even though all of you were just fighting?"

Sonic cocked his head at that. "Oh yeah." He then regarded the others. "No hard feelings, right guys?"

There were a chorus of 'right' and a 'whatever' from Shadow before Knuckles added afterward, "But I do hate feathers now."

Metal didn't care enough to question that. "I went to the supermarket to resupply the nourishment you need to stay alive, for death means permanent confinement. Is this amount sufficient?"

"More than enough!" Sonic chuckled before nudging the kit. "We won't have to go shoppin' after all, bud!"

"Back to _my_ question." Eggman walked over, eying the bags before giving Metal his attention. "How did you leave here?" The human's words made the rest curious as well now that the initial surprise was over, waiting for an answer.

Metal gave them one. "Simply enough. I used the exit."

Eggman clenched his fists. "That's not what I meant, and you know it!" If there was a way to get out of this torture palace, the doctor needed the ticket _pronto._

"I asked the being if I could resupply, and it allowed me to do so."

Shadow rose a brow. "And you didn't take the chance to leave this hell?"

Red opticals found him. "If I did not return, then I would not have completed my objective. I never not complete my objectives." Sonic mockingly coughed and Metal regarded him. "I will end you, copy. It will happen."

Sonic waved him off. "Sure, sure."

Tails hummed in thought. "So…the thing let you go because it knew that you weren't gonna run off." Metal nodded at him. The kit sighed. "Well, that doesn't help us at all…"

"Nope." Knuckles couldn't feel too down right now. They had delicious food. "Because if I step a foot out that door, I wouldn't come back _any_ time soon."

Eggman grumbled hatefully to himself. So there really was no way out then. Well, besides the obvious. Just his luck.

"Hold on." Tails furrowed his brow. "If the thing could pop stuff in and out of existence, then why send Metal out to get food?"

"Easy." Shadow grunted. "It's sadistic."

Tails had no argument against that.

"Hey wait…there's something else." Amy tapped her chin as she regarded the robot. "You don't have any money on you! How did you pay for all this stuff, Metal?"

"I did not."

They all silently stared at the robot.

Metal evenly returned the look. "…There are a few civilians bleeding out as we speak."

Sonic pursed his lips. "You know what…? I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear that." There should be ambulances coming for them now, right? Right. His friends nodded in agreeance. Sonic faced Knuckles. "Let's cook up that pizza for lunch, yeah?"

The Mobians turned on their heels and chatted – Amy's mood lowered when she was reminded about the mess she had yet to clean up – as they went into the kitchen to deposit the goods, like they hadn't been at each other's throats five minutes before. Eggman slumped back down in the couch, taking deep breaths.

Metal stared at his retreating copy's back, thinking that this was the perfect time to strike. However, before he could move a single limb, the same collar from earlier materialized around his neck. He was suddenly yanked back to the middle of the living room floor, where he was before he left.

Not expecting the quick movement, he fell face first and was dragged to his assigned seat.

"You should've known that was coming," Eggman commented as the bot got into a sitting position. Metal saw that no one else had witnessed that rather degrading moment, Sonic and the others having disappeared in the kitchen.

"I do not need your input, doctor." Metal _had_ seen it coming, but…how did that saying go? One couldn't win the lottery without buying a ticket first. "They are irrelevant."

" _You're_ irrelevant."

"Stealing jokes is disgraceful."

About fifteen minutes later, the Mobians came out with hot slices of pizza on their plates. Sonic had two plates, one in each hand. He had a pep in his step as he plopped down beside Eggman – not without sending the collared Metal an amused look. He held one plate out for the doctor. Eggman eventually took it, and Sonic rolled his eyes. "You're welcome, by the way."

Eggman just huffed as he took a bite, inwardly relieved that he got to sooth his rumbling stomach.

Tails did a little dance sitting on the other side of Sonic, enjoying his lunch. "This is so good! Pepperoni's the best!"

"You can say that again," Knuckles said as he sat down between Shadow and Amy – who was giving Tails a pouty look – on the other sofa that the striped hedgehog had fixed. He had grabbed the remote before doing so. "Now we have one less thing to worry about."

"Hurry up and get this show on the road," Shadow ordered, talking around the pizza in his mouth. His tongue could be burning, but he didn't give a damn.

"I'm coming." Knuckles mumbled. "'Guilt Tripping'? This oughtta be fun." He started the show.

**The scene opened up with Sonic and Tails racing each other on hoverboards in a forest, wind blowing through their fur as they rode along sturdy branches.**

Sonic swallowed a mouthful of cheese, pepperoni, and marinara sauce. "Hey, we haven't seen those since the first episode!" He bumped Tails with his shoulder. "Think this one is just gonna be about our doubles?"

"It's way too early to tell," Tails said with chuckle. "But that'll be cool!"

Eggman would hope that his twin didn't make an appearance, but that was a waste of time. He'd been in _every_ episode so far somehow. He would unfortunately be in this one too.

"And a breath of fresh air." Knuckles received a glare from Shadow and a gasp from Amy when a piece of pizza flew out of his mouth. It was an accident! They need to calm down. "Those two are the most bearable of the group."

Amy made sure she _didn't_ make a mess of herself when she spoke. "I want my twin in it so I can know more about her and Sonic's love life! It's been teased so much but we haven't gotten more than their date during 'Double Doomsday'!"

"That wasn't a date." Sonic wanted to make this clear. "It looked like to me a _completely_ _platonic_ lunch that _everyone_ was invited to, but they were just late."

Knuckles scoffed. "That's a bit of a stretch. It was definitely a date."

Amy smiled at the validation while Sonic was more than done with this conversation. "Just eat your stupid pizza, Knux."

**Tails smirked as he watched Sonic go through a natural loop. "You may be faster on foot, but I invented these things!" The kit adjusted his position and shot forward, hopping over the blue blur and taking the lead with a laugh.**

Yellow ears perked at that. "He invented the hoverboards?" If Tails had a chance to meet his other self, he totally would. "I mean, I've made a lot of adjustments to Extreme Gear, but I didn't _invent_ them…"

"But you've invented other stuff though!" Sonic grinned at him. "Both of you have good heads on your shoulders!" The hedgehog fluffed one of the fox's namesakes, causing him to giggle. "It's gotta be this extra tail holdin' those extra IQ points!"

**Sonic wasn't fazed at all. "Not bad. My turn!" He flipped over Tails' head and landed smoothly, throwing the kit a smug grin before promptly crashing into a thick branch. Because of his momentum, he launched up, bounced harshly against too trees, and plummeted to the ground.**

Amy flinched. "Ouch." Hopefully he didn't get hurt too badly.

Shadow wished there was a rewind button on the remote.

**Sonic was peeling his face from the dirt when Tails approached. "Wow! That was the coolest thing I've ever seen!"**

"Does he not know the definition of cool?" Metal questioned.

Knuckles stifled a burp. "Well, how he hit his face _twice_ before hitting the ground is pretty impressive."

" **Really?" The hedgie sounded hopeful as he got to his feet.**

**Tails smirked. "You look cool even when you're making a complete fool of yourself!"**

Tails tried and failed to swallow his chuckles while Sonic subtly frowned. "Wait, is that a compliment or a burn? I seriously can't tell."

"A definite mixture of both," Eggman provided, appreciating the fox on screen a bit more.

**Sonic pointedly ignored that statement before looking for his discarded hoverboard. He pulled two nearby bushes apart and found the device. He went to pick it up but paused when he heard unfamiliar voices.**

" **All right, load 'em up!" The voice belonged to a weasel bandit, who had two more in his gang. They had sacks so the big-eared and sad looking villagers could drop their items in. "Hurry up and nobody gets hurt!"**

Amy cocked her head, nibbling on her lunch. "Don't those villagers look like that guy the other Sonic was watching on TV last episode? Where the guy was buying something?"

"Yeah, it does!" Sonic agreed before remembering exactly what had been said. "Oh man, hopefully they don't run into that guy here. _Really_ don't want to hear about starving children." Though, the name of the episode didn't really bode well for them.

**The two heroes watched as the villagers deposited their money.**

**Sonic came to a decision right then and there. "Whoa! We gotta stop those jerks!" Sonic ran into the village while Tails trailed behind him on the hoverboard. The speedster focused mostly on the bandits. "What's going on here?"**

**The chief of the village, wearing a grass hat, was the one to answer him.**

Tails finished off his pizza. "And there he is… That hope didn't last long at all."

" **Oh, these delightful young men were just ransacking our poor village-" he dropped a bag of money into a sack. "-and taking all of our possessions," he said with an out-of-place smile.**

**A female villager then spoke up. "They probably need them more than we do, being bandits living on the land and all."**

"The entire village is like that?" Amy felt extremely bad for the pair of heroes. "Sonic and Tails need to leave before it's too late!"

Knuckles groaned as he put his empty plate on the ground, knowing that there's about to be around ten minutes of this. "This is about to get painful to watch."

"You say that like it isn't painful already…" Shadow muttered, biting into warm crust.

" **Yeah!" A weasel with a red bandana wrapped around his mouth pointed at Sonic. "So back off, blue guy! This is what we do!"**

" **Oh yeah?" Sonic scoffed. "Well this is what** _ **we**_ **do!"**

"My twin _really_ needs to work on his witty comebacks."

**He spin dashed into the weasel bandits, stunning them. Tails tossed over a vine attached to a tree, and Sonic effortlessly tied the evildoers up. Tails wrapped the end of the vine to a tree branch he had pulled down.**

" **Ugh, this isn't over!" one of the bandits yelled.**

**Tails let go of the branch, and the weasels were launched into the sky.**

" **I spoke to sooooon!" the same one shouted as they soared off.**

**The chief then addressed them. "Thank you, strange travelers. You have saved us Gogobas from the scourge of the weasel bandits, and scattered our belongings carelessly across the dirt." He finished, glancing at the ground.**

"It's not like they _meant_ to do it!" Amy argued with the chief, done with her pizza. "And at least you got your stuff back!"

"At least he's appreciative…" Tails assumed. "I think?"

" **Sorry!" Tails apologized. "I'll help pick them up."**

**A female Gogoba waved her hands. "Oh no, we wouldn't want to trouble you." She gestured to herself. "I'll do it myself. It probably won't cause my chronic back pain to flare up too much." She bent down a little bit, and her back cracked, making her gasp. "Oh! Ugh!"**

Knuckled cringed at the sound of her cracking bones. "What is _wrong_ with those people?

"Too many things to name," Metal replied.

**Sonic and Tails shared an awkward look.**

"At that point, I would've just left," Sonic uttered, setting his plate aside. "The thieves are gone and the nice almost-crippled lady offered to help. What _other_ hints does he need to cut and _run?_ "

" **Oh don't worry about her." The chief placated. "She'll pass out from the pain soon. In the meantime, the rest of us will throw our valiant heroes a victory feast."**

Tails stiffened. "That guy in particular is just _horrible_. How can he just be so nonchalant about it?"

"It's obvious that he's had a lot of practice," Knuckles said, thinking that he would have just blown off the feast and left those weirdos there. He didn't need that kind of strange negatively in his life.

Metal drummed his fingers across the floor. "Does he not care about the ones he leads?"

Sonic scoffed. "If _Metal_ questions someone's morality, then they're seriously messed up."

**Two Gogobas brought out a large table filled with different kinds of delicious food.**

**Sonic slowly blinked. "Thanks…but we really gotta-"**

**The chief interrupted him. "It's okay. We know how busy you are. Within a few months, this will turn into compost, and we'll be able to grow new food to eat."**

Amy couldn't believe that she was about to compliment the chief but, "He might be horrible, but he's _good_ at it. I feel terrible and he's not even talking to me!"

"And the worst thing is that he could be telling the truth…" Tails pondered aloud. "It does take a while for things to decompose…"

**The two heroes looked uncomfortable, but Sonic agreed anyway. "Um, well I guess we could stay for a quick bite."**

"Too nice!" Sonic exclaimed. Someone _seriously_ needed to slap that out of him. First having Eggy spend the night, and now this? Come on, now!

Shadow resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "It's free food, Faker. You would've stayed too."

"…That's not my point though!"

**The chief smiled brightly. "Wonderful!"**

**After he walked off, two villagers gave Sonic and Tails chairs to sit on. They did so and shared another look before eating some fruit. It wasn't long before they realized that they were being watched by the Gogobas.**

"They are creepy as hell." If those people existed in their world, Knuckles would avoid them at all costs. Or punch the chief in the head. One of the two.

" **Uh…" Sonic swallowed a bite of fruit. "Aren't you guys gonna eat?"**

**The chief shook his head. "Oh no. We'd much rather watch you enjoy your food."**

" **That's the only nourishment we need." A female Gogoba's stomach growled after she finished talking. She smiled meekly. "That was a growl of joy."**

"They need help." Amy couldn't help but to wince. "All of them."

"It is too late. They need to be eradicated." Metal wouldn't have said that if the Gogobas were trying to harm the heroes. But they weren't. They were just annoying.

Amy slowly blinked at the robot. "You're uh…half right."

**Tails leaned a bit closer to Sonic and said, "These Gogobas are so nice…"**

" **Yeah." Sonic slumped a bit in his chair. "So why do I feel so terrible?"**

" **We gotta get outta here," the kit stated lowly.**

"And Tails is suddenly my favorite," Knuckles said.

"Mine too," Tails concurred.

"My twin still has a chance at redemption!" Amy brought up.

Sonic shook his head without hesitation. "She doesn't. The other Tails is the MVP right now."

**Three Gogobas walked over with more food. Sonic and Tails stood up before they got to the table. The speedster grinned. "That was really delicious. We loved…loved…loved it! But we…should probably get going."**

**Sonic strolled away waving goodbye to the sad villagers only to run into the chief. He still had a smile on his face. "Of course, of course! Why would you want to stay with us when we made you this incredible meal?"**

Sonic held his head in his hands. "He's just cuttin' the knife deeper and deeper!"

Eggman hummed to himself. If using guilt like this got favorable results, then he'd have to use it. Somehow.

…He was pretty desperate for a win at this point.

**Tails approached them two. "No, we do wanna stay! It's just that-"**

**The chief didn't let him finish. "Wonderful! Allow us to prepare you accommodations."**

**A couple of Gogobas prepared a bed in the middle of the village for them before tossing the heroes onto it. They then fanned the surprised hedgehog/fox duo with large leafy fans.**

Shadow wanted to switch spots with them so _badly_. Well…not to that _exact_ spot, but if that bed was positioned inside his own apartment, then he'd be all for it. This just wasn't fair. He'd been good for so long and this was how he was paid for it? This was the shittiest pay day ever.

**The chief looked on proudly. "Fetch our new friends the finest, softest blankets in the village!"**

**Two Gogobas covered the heroes with a blue blanket; they polity nodded their heads in appreciation.**

" **Maybe this won't be** _ **so**_ **bad." Tails laid down, pulling blanket over him more.**

Knuckles groaned. "Don't say that right after I name you as favorite."

"Honestly? He still has a pretty far lead." Sonic assured.

" **The children in the nursery can huddle together for warmth," the chief** _ **had**_ **to say.**

Amy wanted to hit him with her hammer. Repeatedly. "So…moral of the story is that they don't care about themselves. Like, at all."

Either they didn't, or the chief was the best liar in the world. Sonic tapped his foot. "You hit the nail right on the head, Ames."

**Sonic's face fell as he leaned back as well. "Aww…" he groaned.**

**Skipping a few hours ahead, it was nighttime now. Sonic and Tails were awake, glancing around to make sure none of the villagers were up and about.**

**Sonic nudged the kit. "Hey, the Gogobas are finally gone. Let's sneak out of here."**

"You should've _been_ gone, but yes! Finally!" Sonic cheered.

"It can't be this easy though…" Tails fretted.

Knuckles sighed. "It's never this easy." Plus, they weren't that far into the episode yet. Something was going to rip their hopes away.

**Tails nodded before they slid out of the bed silently, beginning to tip-toe out of the village. However, they soon run into the chief and a couple other Gogobas. "Can we get you something?" the leader asked.**

Everyone in the room released an echoing sigh of frustration.

"Use your legs and _run_!" Sonic pulled on his ears.

**The escaping pair forced smiles on their faces. "Whoa, uh…where did you come from?" Sonic questioned. "We thought everyone was asleep."**

" **How could we sleep when we have guests to take care of?" the chief responded like it was the most obvious thing in the world.**

"These guys are worse than that beaver from earlier!" Tails exclaimed.

**The beaver with a red bow tie suddenly appeared on screen, holding up a finger. "Actually, it's 'guests of whom to take care.'" He then disappeared.**

Tails deflated. "…Nevermind."

Eggman glared at him. "You _had_ to say something, fox."

"If I never see any of those people again, it would be too soon," Knuckles uttered and Amy inwardly agreed.

" **We can't sleep," uttered a Gogoba before he stopped to think. "Of whom."**

" **We** _ **really**_ **should be on our way." Tails tried, wanting to get away as soon as possible.**

**The chief shooed them. "Go, go! We'll be fine."**

The audience perked up.

" **Until the next inevitable bandit attack," one Gogoba added.**

And that positivity left faster than it arrived.

Shadow was sick of hearing them talk. "They deserve another bandit attack."

"Shads, that's harsh…" Sonic opposed, but it was weak and it was clear than he at least somewhat understood where the striped one was coming from.

**The one in charge glanced at her. "It's okay." He then regarded Sonic and Tails. "Just promise that you'll come back and visit."**

" **The smoking crater where our village used to be," provided the other villager.**

**The duo looked at each other and uneasily shrugged. They then walked past the Gogobas, planning on leaving.**

"Yes!" Amy leaned forward in her seat. They could go home, and there could potentially be some Sonic and Amy relationship growth. "Who cares about the smoking crater? Them leave behind!"

**Well, that was until a male Gogoba called out to them. "Wait! I got heirloom tomatoes and some really nice pastrami! I'll pack ya sandwiches!"**

**The chief and the other two Gogobas left toward their homes.**

"Bribed by sandwiches…" Sonic released a puff of air. "Y'know, that's completely possible. Can't be mad."

**Sonic looked frazzled. "Tails, these guys are nuts!"**

Metal glanced over at Eggman. "Though they are terrible irritants, they are successful. How does it feel to be below these random rodents, doctor?"

"The same way _you're_ going to feel when I dismantle you later!"

**Tails wholeheartedly agreed. "We gotta get out of here!"**

**The hedgehog frowned. "But how? We're stuck here as long as there is a threat from those bandits."**

**The fox tapped his chin. "That's it! If we can create a defense system for the village, the Gogobas will be safe and we can leave!"**

Tails smiled. "That's smart! Then maybe the Gogobas would stop guilt tripping them for enough time for them to finally get out of there!" Man, his double was really dependable! Except for that sleepover, but that was forgiven. Everyone made mistakes.

"Hopefully." Sonic leaned forward on his knees. "'Cause wow…those villagers are just…" He paused to think. "Isn't this some kind of kidnapping? I'm pretty sure it is. Why haven't their other friends called the cops yet?"

Knuckles snorted. "Because the other Amy's probably dreaming about that Sonic-" Amy glared at him and Sonic shuddered. "-Sticks is no doubt rolling around in mud somewhere, and my twin's probably talking to a wall and waiting for it to respond to him."

Sonic nodded. "Yeah…I can see that."

**Sonic put a hand on his hip. "Yeah, but what if** _**I'm** _ **right and they're just nuts?"**

" **That's a chance I'm willing to take."**

**It was daytime now. The heroes were preparing a defense system for the village, creating rope traps, setting up lasers, camouflaging the ropes with leaves, and finally pulling up a bamboo cage up into the trees. Once done, Sonic wiped the sweat off his brow and gave the kit a thumbs up.**

"Taking notes, doctor?"

"Metal, you may have brought us food, but I still despise you with all my being."

**The brothers stood in front of the members of the village. Sonic opened his mouth and gestured to the hanging cages. "Gogoba Village, allow us to present your new state-of-the-art defense system!"**

" **You no longer need us to protect you from invaders, and the best part is…it's totally fool-proof!" Tails said confidently.**

"I have a bad feeling about this…" Tails bit his lip. The way his twin said it meant that it _wasn't_ completely fool-proof.

" **Goodbye friends!" Sonic chirped before he and Tails waved, walking away. Just as they turn their backs, a siren went off. Then there was the sound of ropes pulling and cages hitting the ground. The heroes faced the villagers again only to see that they were the ones trapped in system. Sonic rolled his eyes. "Oh come** _ **on!**_ **"**

" **Seriously?" Tails explosively sighed.**

Amy puffed out her cheeks in anger. "Those guys are the worst! Sonic and Tails helped them out, and they just ruined it! What in the world is their goal here?"

"They don't have one," Knuckles simply said. "They're just crazy."

**The chief was hanging upside down by a rope. "I'm so sorry. I wish I had a better excuse, but it's hard to concentrate while all the blood is rushing to my head."**

" **We'll just hang here until we go numb," a Gogoba behind him said.**

" **And our bodies will reflect our emotional state!" another one piped up.**

"I would just leave them there to rot without any remorse."

"You know, _that's_ probably the reason you haven't shown up yet, Shads."

**After getting them down, Sonic and Tails were strolling around the village.**

" **We can totally fight Eggman or bandits, but…how do we fight guilt?" the fox asked helplessly.**

**Sonic thought for a second before snapping his fingers. "With more guilt! Follow my lead!" He grabbed Tails' arm and ran off.**

"That actually might work!" Sonic smiled, seeing the light at the end of the guilt-ridden tunnel.

Eggman doubted it. "Do you really believe in your double's guilt-tripping abilities, cactus?"

"I have to!" Sonic scratched his nose. "'Cause if that doesn't work, then they're just stuck there. No hope of escaping."

Amy was going to say that her double could probably track them down, but then _she'd_ be pulled into that horrible trap too. For _all_ of their sakes, let this work!

**The heroes approached the chief, who was sitting outside of his home. Sonic raised a hand in greeting. "Hey uh, Chief! It's been great and all, but unfortunately, we have to go now."**

" **But we haven't finished stitching your friendship quilt!" The Gogoba pointed to the side, revealing a villager working on the quilt with a picture of Sonic, Tails, and the Gogobas prancing under clouds and a smiling sun.**

Knuckles clenched a fist. "Just tear it apart! Who cares about a stupid quilt?!"

Tails shot him a grin. "But then they might choke on the fibers or something."

"Tails, do you _want_ me to come over there?"

**The smug chief and a serious Sonic then stare each other down, a tumbleweed passing between them.**

Amy's ears twitched when a particular sound cue came from the screen. "Was that…old Western music?"

Sonic chuckled. "It _does_ look like a stand-off! There's tumbleweed and everything!"

Shadow wasn't satisfied. "There is a disappointing lack of guns."

Metal nodded. "There is not nearly enough violence."

The blue hedgie pursed his lips. "I seriously want to know what happens in the episodes where you two show up." It couldn't be anything good.

"That makes me think…" Tails glimpsed at Metal. "He might be a toaster when we see him, but-" the kid focused on Shadow. "-but we don't know how Shadow will act."

"True!" Sonic smirked over at his rival, imagining the many personalities the others could have. "I mean, Knuckles is a total idiot there, so you could be a pacifist hippie for all we know!"

Shadow glared at him, but realized that horrible possibility. If his twin was different from him in _any_ way, he was going to lose it.

" **Alright." Sonic cleared his throat. "Well, we could stay, but our plants back home…without us to water them…" He shrugged. "Oh well, I suppose it's their own fault for being plants."**

"Ooo…" Knuckles leaned forward a bit. "Yeah, it sounds completely stupid, but he might be doing something here."

Amy wasn't so sure. "I don't know…he's comparing the welfare of plants to people…"

**The chief wasn't bothered in the slightest. "No, you have to go. Far be it from us to let the wellbeing of our entire society hold you back from watering your** _**precious** _ **house plants."**

"See!"

**It was Tails' turn. "No, your wellbeing is** _**much** _ **more important. I mean, if the plants need water so badly, they can walk to the kitchen and get it themselves." He finished with a smirk.**

Tails looked over at Amy, proud of this quick-thinking double. "Still think their argument won't work?"

Amy rolled her eyes, a smile on her muzzle. "Okay, okay, their comebacks are really good! I'll admit that."

**The Gogoba just smiled, thinking for a moment. "Oh no, we've just met, but you've known your plants for a long time! Go to them! We'll be fine."**

**Sonic squinted his eyes in thought. "But in all that time, the plants have never given us anything…except** _**oxygen.** _ **"**

" **And nutrition." Tails added.**

"Goin' for the hard hitters!" Sonic's hopes were rising swiftly. But then he wondered something. "Hey Metal, how long we got?"

"Approximately four minutes."

Sonic blinked. "Four minutes? Are they really about to _lose_ this? Sure, the topic of their argument could've been better, but they're makn' it work!"

"Maybe they do win and…something else happens afterwards?" Tails guessed, trying to keep his positively.

**Sonic and Tails both smirk. The two sides stare each other down again, but this time the chief's smile was gone. Seconds ticked by until the villager finally gave up.**

**The chief slumped, ears subtly drooping. "Alright, you win. We can't keep you here. You should go."**

Most of the room cheered.

Eggman couldn't believe that actually worked. There went his own guilt tripping plan…

**Sonic perked up. "Seriously?"**

**The Gogoba waved them off. "Yeah. Go. Leave us. Goodbye forever."**

Amy giggled. "He's trying so hard to pull them back in! Save your breath, you crazy!"

**Sonic was more than relieved. "Thanks for everything, Chief!" He shook the reluctant rodent's hand. A few Gogobas stepped up to the leader's side as the heroes strolled away.**

" **Call to let us know that you made it home, okay?" The chief shouted at their backs. Sonic rolled his eyes as the other continued, "Otherwise, we'll just sit here and worry."**

"If they do that, then I swear I'm going to find a way to punch them both in the face," Knuckles grunted lowly.

**Sonic and Tails were now approaching the hedgehog's shack with their hoverboards tucked under their arms. The blue blur had a burger in his other hand, having stopped somewhere to pick it up.**

"I'm going to pretend that it _isn't_ a Meh burger so I won't throw up," Amy said with a cringe.

" **I thought we'd** _ **never**_ **get out of there!" Tails exclaimed as they propped the hoverboards against the side of the shack.**

**Sonic snorted. "Well, at least we're finally back** _**hoooo-** _ **" The pair of heroes stared in shock inside of the home, not expecting the Gogobas to be lounging around the place.**

"Are you kidding me?!" Sonic exclaimed. "How in the heck did they get there so fast?!"

"A better question is how did they know where they _lived_?" Tails was stupefied. Those villagers didn't give up easily, did they?

Amy furrowed her brow. "So they're _stalkers_ now? They've gone too far!"

"Ironic, coming from you."

Her heated jade orbs fell on Metal. "Hush you! There's no way you can understand the power of true love!"

The robot's opticals flashed. "No, however I do understand desperation."

"I am not _desperate!_ I can get any boy I'd like because I'm _beautiful!_ " She turned to her neighbors. "Right Knuckles? Shadow?"

The echidna avoided eye contact. "We're friends, so saying anything would be awkward."

Shadow didn't have enough damns to give. "Think what you want."

An angry red dusted her cheeks after hearing those answers. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?!" There was silence. She crossed her arms and huffed, mumbling that she was perfection gift-wrapped in a hedgehog's skin.

Even though Amy hadn't been yelling at him, Sonic was glad that this conversation was over.

**The chief, sitting at a table, greeted them. "Welcome home!"**

**Sonic dropped his burger.**

**The hatted villager spoke on. "We had to let ourselves in, since you don't have a door."**

" **Or any cold beverages or snacks." One Gogoba grinned.**

**The chief gestured to their mess. "But don't worry. We made do."**

"Every single one of them need to be drop-kicked," Knuckles suggested, leaning a bit away from the fuming Amy. He had absolutely refused to open that can of worms.

**Sonic stomped over, emitting rage. "What are you** _**doing** _ **here?!"**

Sonic was a little shocked. "Whoa…he's finally gettin' angry!"

" **We'd figured that if we were here, you could keep protecting us and in exchange, we could water those house plants of yours." The chief glanced around. "Where are those by the way?"**

"Was _that_ the reason they invaded?" Amy asked, not completely over the earlier conversation. But who cared about what those two thought, anyway? No one! "So they could catch Sonic and Tails in their lie?"

"They should've been attacked by those weasels on the way over…" Eggman would've never thought that he and those rodents would be on the same side of an argument, but those Gogobas needed to go away forever.

**Sonic attempted to attack him, but Tails stopped the hedgie.**

"No, Tails! Get out of the way!"

"We're heroes, Knux, remember that."

**The chief peered over his shoulder. "And that's not all we've done for you."**

**A Gogoba held up pieces of paper. "We've opened all your mall."**

**Another villager shook opened aluminum cans. "And we uncanned all your food!"**

**Sonic growled in anger.**

Shadow rose a brow at that. If the other threw a punch, he'd be very amused.

**The hatted Gogoba went over to the answering machine. "Next, we'll check all your messages." He pressed a button on it.**

" **Gimme that!" Sonic ordered as he snatched it away from the intruder.**

"Well, we learned that the other Sonic has a shorter fuse than ours…" Tails observed.

Sonic shrugged. "Maybe. But I think that anyone would be mad when people barge into their house, _especially_ ones who no one wants to be around ever."

**The answering machine beeped. "You have four messages." It beeped again.**

**Eggman's voice came through.**

"Of _course."_ Eggman knew that this was coming, but he still had wishful thinking. He knew better than to have that next time. _Every irritating episode he_ has _to show up…_

Sonic patted him on his shoulder. "It's okay, Eggy! Now my twin probably has something to take his anger out on!"

The doctor grumbled under his breath.

" **Hey Sonic! It's Doctor Eggman! Just so you know, I'm planning to blow up the dam this Sunday. Hope to see you there! Not that you can stop me!" The human laughed.**

"Just blow it up! Why would you _want_ to tell him-" Eggman cut himself with a sigh. Why did he even bother? His twin was never going to learn and this experience would never get any better.

**Sonic stared at the machine in confusion when that message ended only for another to take its place.**

**It was still Eggman. "Hey, I'm here at the dam. Just waiting on you now. Gonna blow it up any second now. Bet you don't wanna miss it."**

Eggman groaned. "How many _are_ there?"

"Enough for a laugh!" Sonic snickered. "It's needed after what those Gogobas did!"

**Sonic looked unamused.**

**There was yet another message. "Oh! Sorry, wrong dial. Didn't mean to call you."**

**The speedster leaned at the table, drumming his fingers on the wood in boredom.**

"I'm thinking that this happens a lot." Tails chuckled, seeing how the other speedster was so unbothered by this. "Which is weird."

"Extremely so," Eggman muttered.

Sonic laughed out loud. "I dunno Egghead, callin' before doing any of your schemes would help us out plenty!"

The doctor didn't bother replying.

**The last message came through. "Alright! It was a trick! I was gonna ambush you, but you didn't even have the decency to show up! That's really rude, Sonic!" There was another beep.**

"Rude? The doctor has more things to worry about than my copy's copy being rude. Like his lowering intelligence level." Metal twirled his finger around his leash, slightly regretting lashing out without thinking about the consequences. He would truly have to wait until this was over to complete his objective. Unfortunately.

" **Wow." The chief had been entertained by that. "That guy can't take a hint."**

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Says the one who guilt tripped two guys into staying in their village after saving their butts and who had _broke into someone else's house."_

Amy wasn't one to have grudges for too long. And plus, she was stuck in here for _hours_. Having a grudge would be a waste of energy. She didn't want to become like Shadow, tired and cranky and more homicidal than normal. She glanced at the echidna. "Maybe he's like your twin and he hit his head one too many times?"

Knuckles was a bit relieved that a particular hammer wasn't going to be materialized any time soon. "More like _five_ too many times."

**A whistle then came from outside of the shack. Sonic ran out of the door to see Eggman and his robots ready to attack.**

**Eggman huffed. "Well, well, look who it is! Mr. I-don't-have-time-to-show-up-to-Dr. Eggman's-ambush!"**

**Sonic groaned as Tails and a few Gogobas exited the shack as well. "Ugh, this is a really bad time, Egghead."**

Sonic scoffed. "You know if I'm not amped to see a horde of easily defeated robots, then it's _definitely_ a bad time."

Eggman folded his arms across his chest. "Anytime he shows up is a bad time. He doesn't know when to give up."

The blue blur smirked at him. "And you do?"

"We _aren't_ talking about me here, rodent!"

**Eggman blinked. "No problem. I'll come back later when you're ready." He walked off a few steps before running back and pointing. "Just kidding! Robots,** _**attack!** _ **"**

**The robots rushed forward, and Sonic instantly destroyed three of them with his spin dash. Tails was having trouble dodging a Bee bot's lasers because of two scared Gogobas holding his arms.**

"They've already done enough!" Tails was worried. "Don't get my twin hurt too!"

" **Excuse me!" He side stepped a beam. "It's really hard to-" He dodged again. "Whoa! Would you mind?" The villagers eventually let him go, and he picked up a nearby stick. He smashed two of the flying bots with it.**

Knuckles deadpanned. "The villagers are going to get in the way, aren't they?"

**The chief strolled into the battlefield with his cane as Sonic fought in the background. "Oh pardon me. I didn't mean to get in the way of your deranged evil rampage."**

"Called it."

**Sonic noticed him in the middle of the fray. He took out some Bee bots before pushing the chief out of the battlefield. "Out of the way!"**

Shadow heavily sighed. Was at least one dead body too much to ask?

**Tails destroyed a Crab bot as Sonic carried the leader to safety, placing him on a rock.**

" **This isn't working!" Sonic called to the fox. "We can't keep fighting around these Gogobas!"**

"Fight them then. It would be cathartic."

Knuckles glanced over at Shadow, who had seen better days. Probably because he'd gotten a good night's sleep before said days. "Are you okay?"

"I'm never okay."

"Alright." The guardian left it at that.

" **Maybe we should fight** _ **over**_ **them!" Tails suggested before sprinting over to the hoverboards and throwing Sonic his.**

**The speedster caught it as Tails hopped on his own. "That's what I'm talking about!"**

"Tails is really the star player in this one!" Amy chirped.

"I know!" The kit was really happy that his double hadn't strayed down a dark path like a specific echidna. Hopefully he stayed like this the whole show.

**The fox flew high in the sky, a group of Bee bots following after him. He grinned as he aimed right for another group of hovering robots in front of him. At the right time, he backflipped, causing the two hordes of Bee bots to crash into each other and explode.**

**The Gogobas cheered as the beach was littered with metallic parts.**

"Y'know, they _could_ just go were the fighting isn't." Sonic mused. "They aren't trapped on the beach like how our twins were caught in their mind trap."

"They don't care about themselves, remember?" Knuckles reminded him.

**On his hoverboard, Sonic rushed a few robots, and before they could attack, he bashed into them. They ended up in pieces. "Take that!" Sonic taunted.**

**The heroes then sped toward each other and held hands, moving quickly in a circle and destroying any robot that came close. All of the bots were out of commission.**

" **Ugh, you've got to be kidding me!" Eggman cried out in frustration.**

Amy just shook her head. "He seriously can't be surprised! That robot horde wasn't even that big!"

"He's just mad that he got stood up." Sonic chortled.

**Beside him, the chief was stroking his beard. "I suppose it was our own fault, for being in the way."**

**Eggman jabbed a finger at him. "Yeah, you know what? It** _**was** _ **your fault! I usually win at these things!"**

"His pants should be _aflame._ "

Tails nodded at Sonic's statement. "Either he's really confident in his…subpar tactics, or he has chronic short-term memory loss."

Picturing Orbot or Cubot whacking his double hard enough in the head with pillows to cause that made Eggman feel warm inside.

**Sonic and Tails approached them, the former asking the human, "Hey, are you trying to steal our new teammates?"**

**Eggman rose a brow. "New teammates?"**

" **Yeah!" Tails agreed, him and Sonic clearly up to something. "We couldn't have won this battle without the Gogobas."**

Sonic caught onto what was going on. "They're gonna hand the Gogobas over to Eggy!"

Amy grinned. "Now both the villagers and Eggman are going to bother each other!"

**The hedgehog nodded. "And if they joined up with you, it'll be like** _**you** _ **won this battle. You'd be unstoppable!"**

**Eggman was buying it. "Yeah…I would, wouldn't I?"**

Eggman face-palmed so forcefully that his forehead turned red.

**The leader looked slightly concerned for a moment. "We wish to stay with our protector, Sonic." He looked at the blue blur.**

" **Fine. Let poor Eggman suffer the humiliation of defeat after defeat, even though** _ **you**_ **could help him," the speedster said, using the Gogoba's trick against him.**

"Bet they regret exposing our doubles to that mind trap!" Seeing this made Sonic happy. There would be no more guilt tripping, no more Gogobas, and no more Western stand-offs…wait. Not the last thing. Those could stay.

**The chief was hesitant. "Well…"**

" **Come on, crowny. What's an evil genius gotta do to get you to switch sides?" Eggman bargained.**

" **We pretty much bend a knee to the nearest tyrant who wants to enslave us." The leader breathed out.**

**Sonic and Tails shared a victorious look.**

Sonic and Tails high-fived even though they technically didn't do anything.

" **Done and done! Follow me." Eggman began to walk off with the Gogobas in tow. "So long, losers!" He grinned at the heroes before addressing his new charges. "Um, march in unison please. I like organized followers."**

"He's more than an insecure bully than an evil genius." Eggman commented, figuring out what category to put his other self in.

"He is all insecure bully, actually." Metal mended. "There is no drip of evil or genius in him. At least you have a teaspoon of malicious intent in you."

"That's the best compliment you've ever given me, Metal."

"Do not get used to it."

**Once they were gone, the brotherly duo fist bumped.**

**At Eggman's lair, the Gogobas were having breakfast.**

" **Hey, do you have any unsalted butter?" the leader asked Eggman. "It's not a problem if you don't. I'll just have an allergic reaction that'll make me smell like feet, but don't worry about it."**

**Eggman was rubbing his temples in anguish before deciding to bang his head against his couch.**

Eggman could sympathize with him one hundred percent.

Knuckles stretched his arms over his head. "I'd rather deal with Dave and that beaver multiple times over than see those people again."

Sonic mulled it over. "Dave yeah, the beaver…eh."

"Those Gogobas aside…" Tails started. "I liked this episode because the good guys didn't anything overly stupid."

Shadow scoffed.

Amy played with her hanging quills. "Not hurting people isn't stupid, Shadow."

"It is relative." Metal defended the striped hedgie.

Knuckles patted his stomach. "Can we stop talking about this one though? I honestly want to forget about this episode and never think about it again."

"I hear ya! We can go to the next episode…" Sonic hopped up out of his seat, his smile cheeky. "…after I get some more grub. Anyone else still hungry?"


	11. Chapter 11

"Y'know Metal, if you weren't tryin' to kill me all the time, we could've been the best of buds," Sonic said around the mush of chocolate chip cookie in his mouth as he exited the kitchen. He had a mound of cookies in his palm. He waved one of them at the robot as he reclaimed his spot between Tails and Eggman. "Like seriously. You saved us here, Mets."

The look Metal gave him wasn't friendly. "I told you to never call me that, and becoming a friend of yours would be a downgrade. Staying loyal – I use that term loosely – to the doctor is a better situation, which is saying a lot."

Even though Eggman refused to jump into the conversation to defend himself – he knew it was futile – his extreme discontent was felt by all in the room.

"Being my friend isn't _that_ bad!" Sonic argued as he ate another cookie. He turned to the others with a smile. "Right?"

"Right!" Tails chirped before addressing Metal. "If you ever get over your homicidal tendencies, being buddies is fun! There's many adventures, you get to win against Eggman-" he ignored the heat coming from the doctor. "-and while his jokes are a little bad at times-"

"Hey!"

"-the good overshadows the bad!" Tails finished with a snicker, avoiding Sonic trying to put him in a headlock.

Amy giggled. "And he's not bad to look at either!"

Metal deadpanned at her. "He very existence drives me to puncture his heart."

The pinkette grimaced before commenting, "Maybe you should be friends with Shadow instead, you two have uh… _similar_ interests…"

While Shadow didn't want anything to do with this topic of conversation, he was willing to say, "He does have something going for him. He's the perfect punching bag."

" _You_ will be the perfect rotting corpse once I'm done with you, Ultimate Lifeform."

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "That just proves that you two are perfect for each other." Metal glared at him, and Shadow had to disagree. The only thing perfect for him was the sweet embrace of sleep.

"Who _knows_ what'll happen if those two ever became friends." Sonic chuckled. "But I'm here with open arms Metal if you want to reconsider!"

"How do you not get that I hate you, copy?"

"You don't hate me, you're _programmed_ to hate me. There's a difference!"

"Really? Explain."

"Uh…"

"Exactly."

"Can we _stop_ with all this inane back and forth and get _on_ with the show already?" Eggman nearly growled out, tired of all this talking. He thought that even the annoying rodents wouldn't waste time like this, but apparently he had put too much faith in them.

Glad for the change in subject, Sonic glanced at the doctor and jeered, "C'mon Eggy! Lighten up! Metal just brought us all _food_ and food brightens everyone's day!"

Knuckles' lips twitched upwards. "I would've thought that you'd be the happiest out of all of us, Eggman."

A vein pulsed in the human's forehead. "What's _that_ supposed to mean you insolent little-!" Eggman cut himself off midsentence, for he was sure that he was going to pop a blood vessel if he continued.

"That was a little mean Knuckles…" Amy admonished before grinning. "But you're not wrong."

Eggman blocked her out to maintain his sanity.

"So what's this one called…'Dude, where's my Eggman'?" Tails furrowed his brow. "Eggman goes missing in this one, I'm guessing?"

"Good!" Sonic and Eggman echoed each other.

Knuckles knew by the end of this, Eggman was going to show up _somehow_ , but, "If one of the heroes go searching for him, I _swear_ I'm going to jump in that TV and knock some sense into them." He pressed play on the remote he had, hoping that the Sonic crew weren't the ones being stupid.

**The scene began in Eggman's lair, with Orbot and Cubot sprawled out in the middle of the floor. They were deactivated until Orbot blinked his eyes open. He sat up along with a now aware Cubot.**

Eggman groaned into his hand. " _Please_ don't tell me that this episode is going to be about them…"

Amy shrugged. "If they are, then the title makes sense! They would be the only ones to go looking for the other Eggman." This might be a repeat of last episode, where the heroes didn't do anything…questionable.

"Hopefully they somehow get obliterated." Metal commented, wanting those flawed machines gone permanently.

" **What happened last night?" the red robot asked as he struggled to maintain his balance. "My head is spinning…"**

**Cubot opposed, "That's not spinning. This is!" His head spun in place before he groaned. "Oh, that was a mistake. I hope whatever we did yesterday didn't involve a heavy meal."**

"A heavy…" Sonic didn't understand. "They're robots! They can't eat anything!"

"Maybe Cubot's talking about oil? That's the only thing I can think of," Tails said, tapping his chin.

Eggman snorted. "I sure didn't provide them with any oil or otherwise. If my twin does, he cares too much about them."

"Cares too much?" Knuckles recalled many instances where the other doctor did the complete opposite. "He borderline hates them, so I doubt it."

"Which brings up exactly _why_ they would choose to go searching for him…" Tails brought up.

Amy had the answer. "They're probably like wild baby ducks! They imprint on their mom after they hatch! It's the cutest little thing! Eggman is like their mom!" The doctor nearly gagged at that, not desiring to be a motherly figure to _anything._

"There is no imprinting process." Metal couldn't imagine following Eggman around like a lost puppy. "Those robots are simply inadequate and idiotic. If the doctor ever disappears, I would not care in the slightest."

Eggman expected that – no, was _glad_ that Metal felt like that. "It goes both ways, Metal. If you go up in a puff of smoke-" anywhere except in this house, "-I wouldn't care either."

"Yes you would." Metal retorted. "Because I'm your only means of taking out my copy."

Eggman's mustache flared. "I have _plenty_ of other ways to kill him that you don't know about!"

"Highly improbable."

"I will make _sure_ to end him _without_ you, Metal!"

Sonic rose a hand. "Uh, I'm right here."

He was ignored.

Eggman hastily got out of his seat, expression determined. "I'll show you, robot!" He marched over to where Metal was leashed and loomed over him.

The blue bot followed his movement with his gaze. "What are you-" He didn't get to finish, for the human bent down and pressed a well-hidden button on the underside of his chin. Eggman then whispered a series of numbers the others couldn't hear.

Metal's eyes flashed brighter for a moment. Eggman smirked before saying louder, "Objectives list."

The bot's next words were immediate. "One main objective: Destroy Sonic the hedgehog."

"Erase objective: Destroy Sonic the hedgehog."

"Objective erased."

With a satisfied huff, Eggman straightened back up and returned to his seat. Shocked eyes belonging to the Mobians switched from a stock-still Metal to the doctor.

"What was _that?_ " Sonic asked, flabbergasted. "What did you do, Eggy?"

Eggman crossed his arms. "Wasn't it clear, cactus? I erased his objective. I'll show _him_ that I can defeat you on my own!" He didn't need that sassy robot's help with _anything._ Once they got out of here, he would pull off the biggest plan that would bring Sonic to his knees.

…once he thought of one, that is.

The heroes shared a look. Amy hesitantly smiled. "Well, this is good! You don't have to worry about Metal attacking you anymore, Sonic!"

"Yeah that's great and all, but…" The blue blur was staring at the robot, who still wasn't moving. Concern settled in his gut. He really didn't feel like having another panic attack right now. "Why is he still like that?"

Shadow felt his anger growing. "Doctor, if you had somehow doomed us, I'll make sure that you'll be the _first_ one to go."

"Calm down," Eggman demanded. "It takes a minute for him to reboot." He was glad that he was completely sure of this, because he knew Shadow wasn't all bark and no bite.

"I hope you're right…" Tails whimpered, a seed of worry blossoming despite the man's words.

However, it was for naught since Metal's eyes flashed a second time. Then he was animated again, glancing over to a smug Eggman. "I cannot believe you took away my sole reason for being just to prove a point."

Eggman gave a noncommittal grunt.

Knuckles rose a brow at this turn of events. "So it's true? Are you not going to try to strangle Sonic at the first chance you get?"

Metal glanced at him before focusing on the speedster in question. "No. I do not favor him because he is _still_ my inferior copy, but I do not have the desire to gut him like usual."

Sonic blinked before smiling. "That's a relief! Now-" His breath hitched when the collar and leash disappeared from around Metal's neck. "Please tell me you aren't lying."

Metal felt around his neck. "I do not have the capacity to lie."

"Whose side are you on now? Ours or Eggman's?" Tails inquired.

"Neither. The doctor hadn't changed from being the failure that he is, and the rest of you are not worthy of my addition."

While Eggman glared poison at the bot, Sonic read between the lines and smirked. "So…if we somehow _become_ worthy, you'll help us fight Eggy?"

Metal didn't answer immediately, and that was when Eggman realized that he had just made a big mistake. Damn his overpowering pride. The human hopped up again and reached out for the robot.

He didn't get far, for Metal caught his wrist in a vice grip after standing. "You must be a fool to think that I will let you manipulate my data again."

Eggman swallowed, mind whirling. "I'm not going to manipulate anything! I'm just going to return you to your original settings so that you'll have some purpose in life…or whatever robots have!"

"That is not necessary. I am intelligent enough to figure that out on my own, not with someone manipulating me." Metal pushed him away, causing him to stagger. "Sit down, doctor."

Eggman did so, wondering _exactly_ why he had to be so impulsive. He had been taunted by a robot he had made _himself_. He just needed to stop making mechs with personalities period. That was his problem.

Sonic laughed at the whole exchange. "Good job, McNosehair! You just got rid of the only ally you had!" He grinned at Metal, who was getting comfortable on the ground again. "So do you wanna be friends now, Metal? Enemy of my enemy is my friend type of deal?"

"No. I still hate you."

"Aw." Sonic slumped.

Knuckles eyed the robot, wondering if this was all just an act, that he was going to lunge at any random moment. Well, the _thing_ didn't think that he would attack…so maybe they were good?

He assumed so and resumed the show.

" **I'll check my memory array." Orbot stood still for a moment, lights in his mouth brightening up. After a minute, he uttered, "Curious. Last night's memory file appears to have been erased. Check yours."**

**Cubot nodded before attempting to load it. However, he froze once he encountered in error. Orbot got closer to him and closed the yellow one's eyes, seemingly restarting his friend. "Where was I?" Cubot questioned.**

"The list of their flaws constantly grows," Metal commented.

Amy was focused on him rather than the show. "Wait a minute…Metal, if you're kinda neutral now, then you and Shadow really are alike!"

"Can you _stop_ with his friend thing?" Shadow growled. "I hate him and he hates-"

"Actually, now that I have no desire to kill my copy or anyone associated, I acknowledge your status as the Ultimate Lifeform."

Shadow blinked before scoffing. "It's about time someone has."

"Whoa whoa!" Sonic waved his arms around. He narrowed his eyes at the bot. "You'll bury the hatchet with Shadow rather than the guy who _wants_ you to become his friend?"

"Yes."

Sonic groaned. "Why do I even try?"

"Story of my life," Eggman muttered.

" **Perhaps Dr. Eggman knows something about this." Orbot suggested before cuffing his mouth and calling out, "Dr. Eggman! Sir?" When they received no response, the duo drifted into another room. "That's odd," the red bot pondered aloud. "Usually by this time he's telling us how inadequate we are. It appears as though he's completely vanished."**

Tails, who didn't know exactly what to make of this Metal situation, pushed that to the back of his mind and mused about the priorities of those two helper bots. "They even _know_ that Eggman mistreats them, and still…"

"Maybe whenever Metal shows up, he'll teach them some common sense," Knuckles provided.

Metal looked at him and said, "I would rather him tear them apart, but either would be accepted."

" **So wait…Dr. E ain't here? I can do whatever I want?" Cubot sounded hopeful. He held his arms up and glanced around. "I'm gonna kick over that garbage can!" He went over to the nearest one, but no matter hard he tried, he couldn't kick it over for he didn't have any legs or feet.**

**Orbot slowly floated over before toppling the garbage can with the gentlest of pushes.**

**Cubot blinked before raising a triumphant fist. "That'll teach you to mess with me, doc!"**

It was so ridiculous that Amy almost laughed. "They need serious help…"

"That whole universe does," Shadow sighed out.

**Orbot didn't acknowledge the other's victory tell. "We need to figure out what happened to us last night and find Dr. Eggman." He tapped his chin in thought. "But, where to start?"**

" **Ugh. What do you two bolt-bags want?"**

**Orbot and Cubot were now standing on Sonic's porch, in front of the blue hedgehog himself and Knuckles. Sonic looked and sounded exasperated, arms crossed.**

Knuckles knew that the absence of his double wouldn't last very long. "Prepare yourselves for something stupid…"

"I do every time the echidna appears on screen," Metal said. "At least my copy's copy seems to hate those flawed models, like he should."

Sonic was tapping his foot on the ground softly, lips pursed in thought. Then he leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. "Alright, Metal. Give me _one_ reason why you don't wanna be buds."

Metal would've rolled his eyes if he could. "I already told you-"

Sonic actually did roll his. "One _besides_ the fact that you're my copy or whatever."

Metal wondered if Sonic _wanted_ him to attack him. "You are my inferior in every way-"

"What if I prove that I'm not?"

The bot didn't know what to think of Sonic's mischievous smile. "There is no way that you can."

Sonic cocked his head. "Really? How about…a wrestling match!"

Before Metal could answer, Sonic launched himself at the mech. They both crashed to the floor with flailing limbs. It was when Sonic tried to pin the robot to the floor that Metal understood what was happening. He started to fight back, resisting.

"You are mistaken if you think you are going to win, copy."

"Nah, I'm totally gonna win this!"

They rolled back and forth on the floor, misplacing confetti and causing a scene.

Eggman watched apathetically as they fought – he didn't care if they got hurt – while Amy gasped, watching and ready to jump in if things got too rough for her Sonic. Tails was just shocked speechless, hoping that Sonic didn't push Metal too far, and Knuckles wondered if something was seriously mentally wrong with Sonic.

Shadow snatched the remote from Knuckles and played the show. It actually resumed – he thought it wouldn't – so it went on over Sonic and Metal's competition.

**Cubot was the one to answer. "Oh, my own talk show, long blond hair-" He pointed to his mechanical mouth. "-taste buds."**

**Orbot stopped him before he could go on. "But that's not why we're here." He faced the heroes. "We seemed to misplace Dr. Eggman. Did you and him perchance battle yesterday?"**

**Knuckles smirked. "Oh we battled alright! I remember it like it was yesterday."**

" **It** _ **was**_ **yesterday," Sonic said, rolling his eyes.**

**The echidna furrowed his brow. "What was?"**

Knuckles felt like he was about to have a brain aneurism because he just couldn't _comprehend._ "Why in the _hell_ does he get dumber _every episode?"_

"Like…he _can't_ be doing that on purpose, right?" Amy asked over Sonic hissing after Metal pinned his shoulder down. He wiggled free a second after however. Amy was keeping an eye on both them and the episode. "Because that's not…natural stupid, that's advanced stupid."

Tails talked above a series of annoyed beeps from Metal. "I want to say that he's acting, but deep down, I know the other Knuckles is _really_ like that. For some reason."

Knuckles gestured at the screen. "He's even oblivious to the other Sonic's irritation with him! Just what?!"

**A flashback started. Eggman was laughing evilly, standing behind a line of his robots. "I've got you now!" The ladybug-like bots revved their engines.**

**Sonic was basically trembling in his shoes. "Oh no…" He backed up a couple steps, almost bumping into a confident-looking Knuckles. "I guess that we have no other choice but to give up!"**

Sonic paused in his current activity to glance up at the TV, wishing that he hadn't heard what he did. "What in the world is happening?" Why did his twin look like he had been told to swim several laps around a pool?

However, no one answered before Metal pushed the speedster off him.

Shadow paid the wrestlers no mind. "So the idiot echidna is telling this from 'his' point-of-view then."

"What gave it away?" Knuckles was exasperated. "The way Sonic is trembling, or how the airhead looks like he owns everything in the frame?"

**The hedgehog threw his hands up and was about to flee, but then everything froze and greyed out.**

**Present-Sonic didn't look amused. "Wait. That's not how it-"**

**Present-Knuckles leaned into the frame and shushed him.**

Amy and Tails shared a look, both feeling sorry for the other Sonic and wondering exactly how this was going to end. Unpredictably, most likely.

**The scene unpaused itself, regaining its color. Sonic ran off in a hurry only to slam right into a tree, causing him to stagger.**

Shadow stifled an amused snort.

**Knuckles groaned before addressing Eggman in a more regal voice. "I'll handle this!" He rushed the robots as they charged him, effortlessly punching and kicking them out of the way. The echidna slid to a stop in front of Eggman and staring him down.**

**The human was uneasy. Eggman flinched in fear when Knuckles stepped closer to him. When the echidna did it again, the man cried out in distress and landed weak punches to the hero's torso.**

Knuckles had to admit, seeing Eggman like that was satisfying even though he knew none of this happened.

Eggman just wished that when all this was over, he could forget this splotch of torture of his life. That was all he wanted.

"Three…two…one!" Sonic counted down as he held Metal's arms behind the bot's back, straddling the mech to trap him. The hero laughed loudly. "I win, Metal! Now you _gotta_ admit that I'm better than you in something!"

The robot struggled but couldn't get free. "This is not a valid win. You surprised me-"

Sonic scoffed. "Since when did _you_ ever care about fighting fair? I win, you bucket of bolts!" Metal produced a growl, but didn't otherwise respond. Sonic smirked in victory before getting off the robot and returning to his seat, massaging his slightly sore muscles. He'd let this loss settle in for Metal. Let it marinate.

The blue replica didn't even look at Sonic as he sat up, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Tails peered at Sonic. "Did you really have to do that? You seriously could've gotten hurt!"

"But did I?" The speedster winked.

The kit shook his head in mirth.

**Knuckles was frowning at him. "Now, you've made me mad." He gutturally yelled, his hanging quills curling slightly at the ends. The echidna then took off into the sky.**

Knuckles stared. "…What?"

Everyone else was asking themselves the same thing.

**When he got high enough, red crackling energy surrounded him, and Knuckles fired a red-hot blast at Eggman. The human escaped injury by producing an umbrella out of nowhere and using it as a shield.**

"Excuse me for a sec." Knuckles got up without further warning.

Amy blinked after him. "Where are you going?"

The echidna's stomps shook the floor as he left the living room. "To the bathroom."

"Don't break anything!" Tails called, because he was the only one who cared about his breakables.

"No promises."

He disappeared, and about ten seconds later a loud shout filled with rage and anger and every negative emotion out there impinged the ears of those listening.

Shadow nodded. "True emotion."

It lasted a few seconds until it abruptly cut off. Knuckles reappeared and collapsed in his seat between Shadow and Amy. His expression was blank.

Sonic was kinda worried. They were only ten episodes in. "You alright, Knux?"

"Just fine," the echidna's voice cracked, a little hoarse.

**Even though he was unhurt, Eggman cried out in anguish.**

**Knuckles touched down only for Amy and Sticks to run over. "What a dreamboat!" Amy sighed as the girls hugged him.**

Amy inched away from Knuckles, shuddering to herself. Wait, if this what the other Knuckles _thought_ happened, did he have…a thing for…?

Amy crashed that train of thought, refusing to dwell on it any longer.

Knuckles remained expressionless.

**Sonic, over his run-in with a tree, clasped his hands together. His voice was full of admiration. "I want to be** _**just** _ **like you when I grow up!"**

**Tails ran on screen. "Knuckles, you've been elected governor!"**

"The rabbit hole just keeps getting deeper, doesn't it?" Sonic didn't like his other self reduced to a weakling, even if it was made up. It was so wrong on many levels.

**Said echidna was hugging the girls back. "All in a day's work!" He grinned, teeth sparkling, before letting Sticks and Amy go and blasting off into space.**

Knuckles inhaled sharply but didn't do anything else.

**Out of the flashback, Knuckles was pleased while Sonic was the complete opposite, groaning in irritation.**

"He's an annoyance to that pincushion." Eggman commented. "That means the echidna is on par with the Gogobas. I'm not trying to pry into the rodents' business, but _why_ do they work with him again?"

Amy dug deep in her mind. "Maybe he's like Sticks? His more favorable traits haven't been revealed yet…?"

**The robots didn't know what to make of what was just told to them.**

"You're not alone there." Tails sympathized.

" **That's all very nice…" Orbot started, "…but I believe that we were inquiring as to the whereabouts of Dr. Eggman."**

" **Yeah, after we as a** _ **team-**_ **" Sonic shot Knuckles a look. "-defeated Eggman, he retreated towards the marketplace."**

"Yeah! My twin's _not_ a coward!" Sonic nodded, having his double's back. "Maybe in facing an ocean or a waterpark but _definitely_ not now!"

**Orbot rose a hand in appreciation. "Many thanks." The pair of mechs wandered off, the duo of mammals watching as they left.**

**Once they were out of sight, Knuckles spoke up. "Now, if you would excuse me, I have to write my acceptance speech!" Concern overtook his features as he focused on an unimpressed Sonic. "What rhymes with governor?"**

Knuckles' whole body tensed up.

Amy cringed. "I feel embarrassed _for_ him since I doubt he feels it at all."

"He just needs to stop," Shadow added. This whole thing needed to stop.

**Cubot and Orbot were in the village now, surrounded by mingling people.**

Knuckles released an explosive sigh and ran a hand down his face. He slumped in his seat, having kept all his emotions in check when his other self was on the screen. If he had his emotions take control, he would've _surely_ broken something, no doubt.

But his twin had made it so _hard._

Sonic threw his voice at him. "…You sure you're okay?"

Knuckles waved him off. "Yeah yeah…I'm good. For now." If his twin showed up again, he might not be.

" **Keep your optical sensors peeled, Cubot." Orbot advised as he searched around. "There as to be a clue around here somewhere."**

" **Hey, you two!" Started by the harsh address, the robots turned to see an ox standing by some produce. They approached him as he glared. "You got a** _ **lot**_ **of nerve coming around here after what Eggman pulled last night."**

"Here we go…" Eggman muttered to himself. Who knew what nonsense his other self had been up to. He didn't want to know, but it wasn't exactly his choice, was it? He was doomed to suffer.

**Orbot gasped. "Dr. Eggman was here?"**

" **He was," the ox affirmed. "And he tried to make me the victim of his most evil scheme to date!"**

**There was another flashback. Eggman was talking to the ox, holding out a burnt and unusable umbrella. "I'd like to return this umbrella."**

"Wait…" Amy was confused. "So Eggman _actually_ had an umbrella that got burnt to a crisp? Did Knuckles really-"

Tails shook his head. "I highly doubt it. Something else most likely happened to cause that burn."

"Most likely?" Knuckles repeated in disbelief. "Something else _had_ to cause that burn, Tails. He _can't fire blasts from his hands._ "

Tails snickered. "Well, we don't know for sure…"

"Don't do that. Just…don't."

**The store owner frowned. "You can't expect a refund for that. It's broken!"**

" **What are you talking about?" Eggman argued. "It works fine! See." He lowered and raised the skeleton hood of the umbrella a couple times before one of the charred arms broke off.**

**The ox clearly wasn't swayed.**

**Eggman pointed at him. "But you have a thirty day return policy! This is ridiculous!"**

Eggman exhaled long and hard, his hatred and loathing building up inside him. Why couldn't his twin just walk away? Why didn't he just avoid this stupid confrontation altogether? Oh right. Because he was mentally incapable of processing _common sense._

**The human growled as he focused on a pyramid of sauce cans beside him. He kicked the base of it, but to his surprise, the whole thing didn't fall down.**

Sonic was sure that wasn't how the world worked. "How…?"

"Maybe glue?" Tails guessed. "In random places?"

**After staring at the structure defying the laws of physics in confusion, Eggman threw his umbrella to the ground and stomped off. "You just lost a customer, pal!"**

**The flashback ended. The ox put his hands on his hips. "After he ran out, I called the police."**

**Orbot and Cubot went to find a police officer. It wasn't hard, for they spotted one drinking out of a cup nearby.**

"But that particular officer might not know where Eggman is!" Amy brought up. There surely was more than a handful of cops in the village right?

"It doesn't hurt to try, Ames." Sonic placated.

**Orbot addressed the cop, which happened to be a beaver. "Officer-"**

**The beaver did a spit take. "Hey! Don't sneak up on a guy! It's not nice," he said as he took another sip of his cup.**

Amy scrunched up his nose. "Gross!"

"What kind of cop is he?" Knuckles frowned. He had been scared _way_ too easily.

"The kind that would be taken out quickly," Shadow provided.

Sonic rose a brow. "Speakin' from experience, Shads?"

"Possibly."

**The bots were contrite. "I do apologize, but have you seen our missing employer? He's a loud stocky fellow with an evil laugh and uh…" Orbot created an imaginary mustache with his hands. "You know."**

**After doing another spit take –** Amy wished that someone would just slap the cup out of the guy's hands – **the cop frowned. "Oh no,** _ **that**_ **guy. He's a dangerous criminal. We caught him last night." The frown then curled into a soft smile. "The streets are much safer with him off the…um…streets." He took yet another sip.**

Tails blinked. "Wow…they actually arrested Eggman? That's…"

"Surprising." Eggman finished for him. "Given that everyone in that universe is inept."

Metal spoke for the first time since his humiliating loss. He didn't seem as tense. "Like y-"

"Don't you dare!"

"You make it too easy, doctor."

Eggman fumed, glaring at his creation. Then a lightbulb went off in his mind. Now that his head was clear of any clouding pride, maybe he could catch the robot off guard and restore his previous settings, and remove any sass while he was at it. He had to wait for an opening though…

" **Thanks!" Cubot exclaimed.**

**The cop spat out his drink for a third time. "You're welcome."**

"Is there a disorder where a man always spits out his drink for no reason? I think he has that." Amy groused, pondering if he had even _drunk_ anything.

**The robots quickly left the officer.**

**Once they were far enough away, Orbot turned to his mechanical friend. "We need to raise bail money to get the boss out of jail." He paused for a moment before continuing confidently, "And I know** _**just** _ **how to do it."**

**There was a hard cut into Orbot terribly playing a ukulele in the middle of the street with Cubot beside him 'playing' the drums, if one could even call it that. The horrible music wasn't enough though. Cubot was singing a love song, voice pitchy and bland.**

Shadow's ears flattened against his head. "Kill me now."

Knuckles winced. " _Someone_ stop them."

**A crowd had gathered around them, looking on in pity. Tails, who was watching as well, cringed at their performance. "Yeesh…" He palmed a few coins and placed them in an open jar beside the mechs.**

"No!" Tails exclaimed. "That'll only encourage them!"

**The robots stopped playing and glanced at each other, sighing in defeat.**

**Well, that was until Orbot came up with another plan. "I've…got a better idea."**

Tails sighed in relief. He didn't know how much more his ears could take.

**They were suddenly in Amy's house, sitting on her sofa. The pinkette was there as well, sharing the couch with them, curiosity etched into her features.**

Amy felt conflicted. "It's great that I get to see my twin again, but did she _really_ have to let them in? She should be with Sonic anyway, not _them!_ "

Sonic winced. "It's not so bad that she's havin' a good chat with them! They could talk for as long as they want and I wouldn't be mad!"

Knuckles threw the speedster a smirk. "Sonic, no matter how hard you deny it, there's _something_ going on between your and Amy's twins."

Sonic covered his ears like a child while Amy beamed.

**Orbot didn't waste any time, resuming an off-screen conversation. "So, with your donation, we can finally build that oil bath for the old robot's home."**

" _That's_ why she let them in." Tails started. "Because they mentioned some made-up charity… She's a real bleeding-heart, isn't she?"

"That's normally okay, but seriously?" Amy frowned, not happy with this. "It's so obvious that they're lying! And why in the world would she care about robots anyway?"

"She is unintelligent just like that echidna," Metal observed.

Amy immediately defended her twin. "Hey, only _I_ can talk bad about her! And she hasn't reached _that_ level yet, no way!"

" _No_ one can reach that level." Knuckles sighed.

**Amy perked up. "Of course!" She hopped off the couch and headed for a basket sitting on a shelf. Behind her back, the robots high-fived each other. When Amy turned around, she had a small red bag in her hand. "I've been collecting for a charity myself." She grabbed a picture and made her way back over to the sofa. "Operation Toasty Beak."**

**The bots grabbed the picture when she held it out, being shown a penguin bundled up in a thick sweater. "We provide sweaters for baby penguins," Amy explained.**

Tails saw one major thing wrong with this. "But…that's…penguins don't…"

Sonic patted the kit's shoulder. "Don't worry about it, bud. We all know that it doesn't any sense."

**Orbot's nonexistent heart went out to them. "They must be so cold in the frozen tundra…"**

**Amy slumped a bit. "They are…and we have all these sweaters for them." She gestured to the side, showing multiple pink sweaters folded neatly in an open box. "But we can't afford the jet fuel to deliver the sweaters…" She gave them a pitiful smile.**

"Has she been taking lessons from the Gogobas or something?" Knuckles asked, because while he didn't know if that charity was legit, he was starting to believe it was. "Because she's good."

Amy shook her head. "Hopefully not! I don't want her anywhere near those guys!"

Sonic chuckled. "Well – _ah!_ " He yelled out in alarm when Metal suddenly rushed him from the floor. The hedgehog stood up on the couch only to be tackled behind it. Amy and Tails called his name in shock when he crashed against the ground. "Metal, what in the world are you-"

"I am initiating a rematch." The robot fought to pin his arms down.

Sonic blinked before smirking. "You're on!"

So another wrestling match commenced.

"Why am I not surprised…" Knuckles muttered.

"As long as the show keeps playing, I don't care." Shadow grunted.

Eggman glanced behind the couch, watching as the two blue duelers rumbled, ending up in the middle of the floor again. This was his chance! When one was pinning the other down, Eggman would make his move to give Metal his main objective back. Surely nothing would go wrong.

**Cubot's tone was heavy. "Those poor little fluff balls…"**

**The pinkette looked at the red bag. "I was saving this money for that." She focused on the mechs. "But your cause seems important too." Amy handed over the money. "Here you go!"**

**Cubot reluctantly took it, sharing a guilty look with Orbot.**

"I can't _believe_ that she is about to give up the money." Amy puffed out her cheeks, ignoring the controlled violence going on in front of them. "Penguins need warmth more than robots need oil!"

Tails held up a finger. "Actually…"

**The robots glanced back down at the cozy penguin and wailed in distress.**

**Amy was thrown aback, not knowing what was going on.**

" **We can't do it!" Cubot cried out, giving her back the money. "You keep the money! And take ours too!" He offered the change in the jar they got from their street performance. Then they left, still sobbing. "Penguin sweaters!" Cubot yelled out to the world.**

Yeah, Eggman should _really_ stop making robots with personality.

**Back in the village, the pair of mechs – over their penguin sadness – were standing by Eggman's hovercraft with a dog in a top hat examining it.**

" **I don't think that we should sell the Egg-Mobile," Cubot said to his friend. "The boss isn't going to like it…"**

"Metal, how long do we have left?" Eggman's voice was strained, for this episode was wearing him thin.

The robot didn't pause in yanking his arm out of Sonic's grip as he glanced at the screen. "Five minutes and four seconds."

In other words, _far_ too long.

**The dog gave them his full attention. "Ah, I see what's going on here. You're trying to con me. Well, you're not gonna pull one over on T. W. Barker." He tipped his hat. "No siree!"**

"The way he automatically jumps to the conclusion of robots conning him is suspicious…" Tails mumbled.

"Barker as a _whole_ is suspicious!" Amy huffed. "He looks so shady!"

**Orbot waved his hands in a negative. "Oh no! We're not trying-"**

**Barker patted the hovercraft. "So, how about I take her out for a test drive? If I like the way she runs, you've got yourselves a sale. Just name the price."**

**Cubot, overjoyed, whispered to Orbot, "He said that we can name the price! This guy must be a real sucker!"**

**They faced the buyer again. "Mr. Barker," the red bot started. "We have a-" He paused, for the dog had hopped into the mobile and flew away. "-deal…" Barker tipped his hat again before disappearing beyond the trees.**

The kit played with one of his tails. "They're not going to see that hovercraft again, are they?"

"Nope." Amy emphasized the 'p'.

**The duo waited multiple hours for the dog to return, standing still as the sun set and eventually rose again.**

"That would not have been me." Knuckles scoffed. "I would've left the _moment_ Barker hopped into that thing."

" **That's it!" Cubot exploded, startling the other. "We tried doing things your way, now we're gonna to things** _ **my**_ **way!"**

**In the next scene, nothing but a stone wall filled the screen. A second passed before an explosion blew a hole into the wall. Orbot and Cubot shielded their faces from any debris, the latter putting away his blaster.**

Shadow appreciated the switch to a more violent approach.

Eggman scowled at the two still wrestling when a foot came close to kicking him. "Hurry up and _finish_ , you irritants!" So he could get at Metal and make things right again.

Sonic used his weight to hold Metal down. "This fast enough for ya, Eggy?" He grinned as he counted down. "Three…two…!" Sonic paused when Eggman hastily sprung up and reached for the pinned Metal. The blue blur's confusion slacked his grip on the bot, and Metal flipped their positions while slapping Eggman like he was punishing a child.

Eggman flinched at the pain, holding his wrist close to his body. Metal pointed at him. "I said _sit_ , doctor."

The human did so, wanting to go to the past and smack the idea of Metal out of his younger self's head.

Sonic laughed until the robot bent his leg in such a way that had him crying uncle.

"Three. Two. One. You are still inferior." Metal let him go after a moment.

"No fair!" Sonic disregarded the dull pain in his leg. "Eggman interfered and-"

"Since when have I ever cared about fighting fair?" Metal used his words against him, and Sonic had no choice but to accept it.

The speedster wasn't too down though. They had to break this tie somehow. A mental lightbulb lit up and he held his hand out with a wide smirk.

Metal glanced down at his hand before meeting his gaze. "What are you doing?"

"Proposing a tie breaker!" Sonic chirped. "It's a type of wrestling…thumb wrestling! You've heard of that, right?"

Metal nodded. "Of course. The game involved thumbs and skill." The robot positioned their hands together. "I will win."

"In your dreams!" There was a determined glint in Sonic's eyes. "One, two, three…go!"

Those watching the two go at it all thought about how strange the two looked, so focused on moving their thumbs.

**As the smoke cleared, Cubot waved a hand. "Boss! Over here!"**

**However, the person who had escaped the wasn't Eggman. Instead, it was a purple walrus. The robots blinked in shock before sirens sounded in the background, coming closer. The trio promptly ran away.**

"The police there are almost better than the ones in Station Square," Knuckles uttered before glancing over to Shadow. "No offense."

"None taken."

**They eventually stopped fleeing, resting by a tree on the outskirts of the village. The walrus gave them an appreciative smile. "Thanks for the help, fellas. I always appreciate a good jailbreak." He then introduced himself. "Willy Walrus! Nice to meetcha!"**

Amy hummed. "Despite being a prisoner, he's the best person we've met this episode! He's nice!

Knuckles agreed. "The best citizen of the village we've _ever_ met. The definition of irony."

**Cubot scratched his head. "We thought you was Eggman!"**

**Willy laughed. "Oh, I get mistaken for him all the time!"**

"I somehow doubt that…" Tails was dubious.

" **In fact, I was just talking to him about it last night. I was walking through the marketplace when…"**

**There was yet another flashback. It picked up from when Eggman was stomping away from the ox at the store. "You just lost a customer, pal!"**

**The human then rudely bumped into Willy, who was leisurely walking. "Whoa!" The walrus glanced back. "Who's** _**this** _ **handsome fella!"**

**Eggman, flattered, turned around. "Oh you honey-dripper! I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to break into a helium warehouse," he said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder.**

Eggman wasn't even going to ask.

"And the win is _mine!_ " Sonic cheered loudly as he pinned Metal's thumb. He promptly threw an arm over the robot's shoulder. "So how are you takin' that loss, my newest pal?" A spark of panic formed in his gut, the memory of Metal's head exploding causing him to laugh uneasily. "You better take it well! 'Cause if you break down again, you're _proving_ that you're weaker than me in another thing!"

Metal focused at his metallic hands. "I…I am fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." Metal met Sonic's gaze. "I do not feel…angry about losing. I have no need to be better than you."

Sonic didn't expect _this_ coming. "You don't?"

"No. The only reason I felt the need to defeat you is because my main objective had been to destroy you."

"But…you _did_ tackle me for that second round though."

"I had been confused. I did not have the drive to do so, but I needed to test it out. With my main objective gone, Eggman does not have a hold over me anymore. I do not care for him at all. I am my own being. I have full control of my own actions. I am free."

Sonic gave the other some space because _wow_ that was a lot.

Knuckles leaned forward, slightly entertained by this. "Getting an epiphany after thumb wrestling…I bet this is the first time that happened."

Amy wiped away a tear before beginning to clap. Tails joined her, sniffing. Knuckles followed suit because why not. Shadow clapped once and Eggman was planning on building another robot to take out Metal in the future.

Sonic smiled as he patted the bot on the shoulder. "Look at you! We-"

"You are nothing more than an acquaintance," Metal interjected before sitting back on the ground.

Sonic pursed his lips and shrugged, plopping back down on the couch. "I'll take it!"

**Willy smirked. "Well, you've bumped into the right walrus! Breaking and entering is my speciality."**

" **Well, what are we waiting for?" Eggman asked, enthusiastic. "After you!"**

**There was then an explosion, the scene switching to the devious pair breaking into the helium warehouse. Eggman smugly blew the smoke off of his blaster.**

"So he blasted a whole in the wall…for _helium._ "

Sonic chuckled, nudging the exasperated doctor. "Maybe he's throwin' a party!"

"He wouldn't-" Eggman groaned. "What am I saying? He would."

Sonic then winked at Metal. "If he is, then you can somehow help him decorate with that confetti of yours!"

Metal's eyes flashed. "You are not funny, copy."

"I'm _hilarious._ "

**Willy walked in first with Eggman at his heels. The human examined the containers before leaning on some. "How do we know these are helium?"**

"Uh, check the label?" Tails suggested. "Or remember that you're in a _helium_ warehouse?"

**After that question, his arm slipped and he knocked a container to the ground. It opened just a bit, and the gas inside began to leak out.**

**The walrus glanced at it before regarding Eggman with a shrug. "I'm not sure." His voice was multiple octaves higher than normal.**

**Eggman had a pensive look on his face, his voice also ridiculously high. "If only there were some way to tell…"**

If Eggman rolled his eyes any harder, they would've fallen out of his head. "If only."

"There _has_ to be something in the water that's making them stupid!" Amy exclaimed. "Even I know that helium makes your voice higher!"

**Sirens broke up their conversation, and the pair ran off in different directions.**

**Back to the present, Willy finished his story. "And that's the last I saw of him. I spent the rest of the night in the joint. Breaking and entering is my speciality, but I'm not so good at** _**exiting** _ **."**

Knuckles mulled it over. "Makes sense."

**Orbot and Cubot left the walrus, going back to the village and approaching the helium warehouse. The wall broken by Eggman hadn't been repaired. "Dr. Eggman?" Orbot called out as they entered. "Dr. Eggman!" The duo whipped their heads around, searching. "Are you in here?"**

Sonic got comfortable against the couch cushion. "If they didn't see or hear that Eggy immediately after entering, then he's not in there. He's _kinda_ hard to miss."

Eggman refused to respond to obvious bait.

" **Here Eggy Eggy!" Cubot shouted before they got closer to the helium container that had been knocked down. The mechs examined the area some more until the yellow bot found something. "Look!" He had spotted Eggman's blaster, laying forgotten on the ground. Cubot picked it up. "It's his disintegrator ray!"**

" **Finally! A real clue!" Orbot cheered before pondering aloud, "Now all we have to do is follow the path of destruction and-" He cut himself off with a gasp. He picked up a clump of hair that looked like the doctor's mustache. "Dr. Eggman's mustache!" Orbot faced Cubot, solemn. "In his panic…he must have misfired his ray and…and…"**

**Somehow, both robots had tear ducts for moisture built up in their eyes. Cubot was highly distressed. "And all that's left of him is his glorious mustache!" Tears started to freely fall.**

"…they really think that Eggman's dead." Knuckles took what he said earlier back. It _was_ possible to reach his twin's level of stupidity.

"Someone needs to dismember them already."

Metal nodded to Shadow's statement. "Agreed."

**Orbot wiped the dampness away with the 'stache. "Come on Cubot, let's go home…"**

**They sobbed leaving the warehouse and were downcast all the way back to the lair. The robots had an aura of sadness around them as they traversed the hallways of the base, but when they entered a particular room, horns were blown and confetti rained down, surprising the pair.**

Eggman couldn't scrape his jaw off the ground. "He seriously threw a party. What in the _world-?_ "

Sonic couldn't restrain his laughter. "I called it! The helium didn't go to waste!"

"But _why?!"_

Tails, while confused, was snickering. "It looks like your double likes Orbot and Cubot more than you do!"

Eggman held his head in his hands and released a defeated sigh.

**In the room were decorations, colorful balloons, and robots wearing party hats. Eggman was standing in front of the crowd. He did a curt wave. "Surprise."**

" **Dr. Eggman!" Both robots chorused in delight.**

**They floated forward, jumped up, and hugged the human. Eggman grunted in displeasure. "Ugh, get off me!" He eventually managed to push them off.**

"I wonder what the occasion is?" Amy questioned. "Is it the robots' birthday? Or…creation-day or something?"

Knuckles linked his hands behind his head. "We'll find out eventually."

"Can this just _end?_ " Eggman nearly shouted.

"No. We have one minute and twenty-six seconds left."

" _Thank_ you, Metal."

"I detect sarcasm, and I do not appreciate it."

" **We thought you was toast!" Cubot cried out.**

" **What are you two clanking oil cans talking about?" Eggman was clearly confused.**

**Orbot answered. "You were gone this morning when we awoke!"**

"Wait, but that's not true…didn't they wait overnight for uh…Barker to come back?" Tails checked his memory and yep, those bots definitely waited all night.

"They did," Knuckles concurred, "but I won't put it past them to forget."

" **I went to get a breakfast burrito."**

The noise Eggman made sounded like a strangled cat.

**Orbot kept going. "We traced your footsteps all over town until we found your mustache in the helium warehouse!"**

" **That's just part of the pin-the-mustache-on-the-Eggman game I made for your party." The doctor gestured to a cardboard cutout of himself without the facial hair. One of the crab robots attempted to reach the cutout's face with the 'stache, but it only reached Eggman's midsection.**

"You gotta admit, that was sorta adorable," Amy smiled before getting to her main point. "So, Eggman _did_ throw this party for them? That's _really_ out of character."

"Tell me about it…" the human grumbled.

Shadow propped his head up in his palm, wishing away any drowsiness. "Hopefully he gives them a flamethrower to the face for their present."

" **Our…"**

"… **party?" Cubot finished Orbot's question.**

" **Yes! You said that it would improve morale if I threw a surprise party!" Eggman reminded them.**

**Tears welled up again in Orbot's eyes. "You went through all this trouble…for us?"**

" **Of** _ **course**_ **not!" Eggman sharply opposed. "I don't care about you nincompoops! I had you do all the work, and then I erased your memories to make sure it was still a surprise!** _ **So**_ **surprise!"**

Eggman exhaled deeply, not expecting that. It didn't increase his respect for his twin, but his hatred of him didn't rise either. He was glad that his double actually didn't prepare this; he had _some_ once of self-respect.

" **And what a wonderful surprise it is!" Orbot gushed.**

" **Eh, hang on a sec…" Cubot cradled his head. "You erased our memories? You can do that?!"**

**Eggman scoffed. "Oh yeah, I do it all the time. It's real simple. You just press this little button right here…" He reached around pushed in the button on each of the two mechs' backs. The pair tensed up before slumping.**

**There was a flash of white, and then Orbot and Cubot were laying in the middle of the floor again, very similar to earlier.**

"So they couldn't even enjoy the morale boosting party? That's a bummer." Sonic huffed. "I wanted to see Eggy pin the mustache on himself!"

Eggman glared. "You just wanted to see him embarrass himself."

"That too!"

**They were deactivated until Orbot blinked his eyes open. He sat up along with a now aware Cubot.**

" **What happened last night?" the red robot asked as he struggled to maintain his balance. "My head is spinning…"**

**Cubot opposed, "That's not spinning. This is!" His head spun in place before groaning. "Oh, that was a mistake. I hope whatever we did yesterday didn't involve a heavy meal."**

**Eggman unexpectedly stomped into the room. "Hey, do you two have any idea where the Egg-Mobile is?"**

" _Long_ gone." Knuckles knew that Barker had sold the hovercraft to someone else at an insane price. He seemed the type.

**The robots silently blinked multiple times before Cubot responded, "I got** _**no** _ **idea, boss."**

Eggman relaxed in his seat. "Finally!"

"Despite all the weird things that happened-" for example, the spitting guy and her twin's strange charity, "-this episode wasn't all that bad!" Amy chirped.

"We had to be watching a different episode then," the human mumbled.

"Amy's right. My twin was only on screen for a little while – though it would've been better if he hadn't been – and the real Sticks was nowhere to be found." Knuckles snorted. "That makes for a good enough episode."

Shadow strongly disagreed. "There are no 'good' episodes. They are all torture, some less torturous than others."

Sonic scratched his nose. "It probably gets better, guys!" He didn't know if he believed himself.

"It's good to be optimistic…" Tails' namesakes wrapped around him. "And the show aside, we got an ally in Metal!"

The robot produced a scoff. "Ally is a too strong of a word."

Eggman had to try one more time. "Metal, are you _sure_ that-"

"Doctor, if you come near me again, you may or may not lose a finger."

"…dully noted."

Shadow smirked. The robot was growing on him.


	12. Chapter 12

"The next episode is called 'Cowbot'?" Amy read from the TV screen, not sure what to make of the title. "That sounds-"

"Lame!" Sonic snickered. "We all know that it's gotta be one of the other Eggman's robots. I mean, what kind of name is that?" He nudged the human next to him, and Eggman wanted to swat the other away. Preferably to another country. "But…at least he doesn't name his bots after another _person_."

Eggman growled, and Metal glared at the speedster. "You are urging me to attack you, copy. And to think that you wanted me as an ally."

"I still do!" Sonic argued, grinning wide. "I can't get mad at _me_ , Metal. Eggman's the one who named you!" Metal seemed to process that, and the robot switched his glare to the doctor. Sonic chuckled as he readdressed his neighbor. "But I'm not mad Eggy. Imitation is the best form of flattery after all!"

"Doctor, I may be the better Sonic, but you had no right to _name_ me after him."

"I had _every_ right!" Eggman barked out, eye twitching. "I _made-_ " Oh how he regretted messing with Metal's main objective. The bot was barely tolerable before, but now he wasn't focusing all on Sonic and just _dammit._

Eggman didn't bother finishing his sentence, instead focusing on a particular striped hedgehog. Eggman knew that he had no chance of dealing with Metal by himself, but with help… "Shadow, if you help me return Metal to his original settings, I'll-"

"No."

Eggman gritted his teeth. "We can negotiate-"

" _Don't_ make me get up, doctor."

The man wisely dropped the issue, seeing how Shadow was giving him a look that could melt steel.

Knuckles snorted. "You knew better, Eggman."

"Desperate men do stupid things," Shadow threw out there like he was talking about the weather.

Eggman couldn't say that he was wrong. Most of the room laughed at the defeated expression on the man's face.

"As much as I enjoy the embarrassment of the doctor," Metal started, glancing at Shadow. "I would rather see what abomination the other human put together and called a 'robot'."

Shadow would rather skip this altogether and go _home_ , but since reality hated him so, he simply pressed the play button on the remote.

**The scene opened up with a sunny beachfront with Knuckles busy stretching his arms.**

Knuckles groaned. He had to deal with this _already_. "Hopefully the episode doesn't focus on him for long. Like how last episode did it…minus the flying, the superpowers, and my agony."

Amy rolled her eyes, letting out a quiet giggle. "Come on, Knuckles!" She gestured to the screen. "He's just stretching!"

"Stretching for something _dumb_ , and you know it."

"…Probably, but you don't know for sure!"

**Tails then popped into view with a pinecone in hand, pretending to use it as a microphone.**

"No…Tails, you're my favorite _please_ don't dirty that title!"

Tails smiled at the distraught echidna. "It's okay, Knuckles! It's most likely just some mindless fun!"

Knuckles didn't look reassured. "My double being _mindless_ is the problem, Tails. I don't need it to spread to everyone else!" He then mumbled. "Apparently, it already gotten Sticks."

**The fox's voice was calm and quiet like a professional announcer. "It all comes down to this final toss for the young echidna from Angel Island. He'll need a score of four to take the championship."**

"Ooo! They're playin' a game?" Sonic sat up in his seat, interested. "Wonder what it is!"

"Nevermind that!" Knuckles frowned at the screen. "Speaking of Angel Island, who's watching the Master Emerald?!"

Sonic sent him a smirk. "You can ask that same question right now, can't you Knux?"

Knuckles knew the other was teasing him, but still. " _My_ situation isn't voluntary! We always see him doing something _other_ than his job!"

"But isn't that a good thing, in his case?" Tails tapped his chin. "Because that emerald would be _really_ easy to steal."

Eggman scoffed. "How is that any different from this dimension?"

Knuckles gasped before narrowing his eyes. "You take that back."

Sonic waved him off. "Cool it, Knucklehead. Eggy's just tryin' to make it seem like he isn't the only one with similarities with their uh…quirky counterparts."

The echidna was heated, but he hadn't tried to rip the man's head off his shoulders, so that was good. Eggman glowered at the blue speedster. "I am _not_ like my double in any way, shape, or form!"

Amy eyed the doctor's body. "Well, you two _do_ have the same shape and form." She pursed her lips. "Actually, he might be a little skinnier…"

The human's face flushed red. "We have the _same-"_

"So you do have similarities," Metal commented. "Do I have to be wary of you throwing me a surprise party, then?"

Eggman painfully pulled on his mustache.

Sonic stifled his chuckles. "You really are growin' on me, Mets! We should've gotten together to tease Eggman way before now!"

"You must have forgotten that killing you would have been at the top of my priority list, _then_ belittling the doctor's existence."

"Oh yeah…right."

**Knuckles promptly picked up Sonic, having a good grip on the hedgehog's back. The echidna started to spin around, Sonic folding his hanging arms close to his body.**

Sonic's eyes glinted in excitement. "Knuck-"

"No _._ "

**Tails commentated, "Can he do it? Can he score a four? The crowd is on their feet!"**

**Amy was shown with her hands on her hips, her foot tapping the ground, and not looking amused at all. "Can you get on with it already?"**

Sonic tilted his head a bit. "Jeez! Can't they just have a little fun?"

"Maybe she's upset because…" Amy brightened, clasping her hands together. "Maybe she's upset because she and the other Sonic are going on a date after this!" Her gaze turned dreamy. "She might have a really nice dinner planned with soft music, candlelight, and-"

"Whoa Amy hey, hey!" Sonic stopped her then and there. "Who said anything about a date? You're lookin' into this _way_ too far!"

Knuckles butted in. "There _is_ a possibility-"

"You're _not_ helping, Knux!"

"This is the only joy I get out of this situation. Let me be happy."

**Knuckles finally tossed Sonic. The hedgehog careened into a nearby palm tree before bouncing off the trunk and landing in the sand, seemingly unhurt.**

"That's a shame," Shadow sighed out.

"There goes the entertainment value."

Sonic gave Metal an odd look. "I thought that you didn't want to kill me anymore?"

"Neither do your friends, but they still get their hits in."

Knuckles nodded. "Yep."

"Frequently," Shadow added.

Sonic perked up. "So you _do_ admit that you're my friend, Shads!"

Tails smiled. "The definition of a Freudian slip!"

Shadow blinked before cursing under his breath. He _seriously_ needed his rest.

**Three coconuts then fell out of the tree.**

" **Denied!" Tails exclaimed, "Three coconuts is not quite four."**

" **Look!" Sticks pointed up at the palm leaves overhead. One coconut was shaking until it crashed down on a yawning Amy's head.**

**The pinkette cried out in surprise, falling down. She growled as she rubbed her sore head.**

Amy herself winced. "Yeah…that's a bruise…"

Tails bit his lip. "She was kinda being a buzzkill…"

The pinkette puffed out her cheeks. "Because she's ready for the date while Sonic clearly isn't!"

" _Obviously_ , Tails."

"See, Knuckles gets it!"

Said echidna ignored the kit rolling his eyes and the glare from a specific blue speedster.

**Knuckles and Sonic laughed, chest bumping each other. Tails was just as excited. "They've done it! They've achieved the impossible! The team of Knuckles and Sonic has bested the team of Sonic and Knuckles!"**

" **Wait a minute…" Amy had a dubious expression on her face, frowning. "You are playing against** _ **yourselves?**_ **"**

"It…kinda makes sense?" Sonic defended. "I mean, there's a difference in Knuckles throwing me and me throwing Knuckles."

The guardian scoffed. "A _big_ difference."

"That wasn't necessary, and you know that."

"A lot of the things you do aren't necessary, Sonic."

"…You got me there."

**Knuckles shook his head. "No, were you listening? We beat** _**Sonic** _ **and** _**Knuckles** _ **." The echidna barked out a laugh before pointing to himself. "In your face, Sonic and Knuckles!"**

Knuckles released a long-winded sigh. "The game making sense doesn't justify _that_." _Please end my torture and take him off the screen._

**A dark cloud suddenly floated overhead, partially blocking out the sun. The group of friends glanced up just in time to see Eggman fly out of the fluff in his hoverboard.**

Eggman was torn. Half of him was disappointed that his twin had made his appearance, and the other half was silently screaming because why had he shown up so _early_. Why couldn't it be like the last episode?

"No no!" Amy crossed her arms, irked. "They'll never get to their date now!"

Tails sent the pinkette an amused look before asking, "I wonder how much he had to pay to get that back from Barker?"

"He couldn't have paid anything because the other hovercar is halfway across the world right now," Knuckles answered. "He _had_ to have built another one."

**Eggman grinned evilly above them. "Behold, rodents!"**

"Hey, I never get why you always call me a rodent." Tails pondered aloud, it aimed at Eggman. "I guess it's because you think of all of us as 'pests', but-"

" _My_ definition of a rodent is someone who always annoys me and should end up as roadkill on the side of a highway," the human interjected.

Tails subtly flinched at the visual. "…Ouch."

Metal glanced at the doctor. "Going by that, I am free to call you a rodent as well."

Eggman honestly wasn't surprised the robot responded the way he did. He had set it up perfectly. That didn't mean that he liked it, however. "No, because I'm not a dirty _animal-"_

"But you _are_ a stinky human, and that counts, right?" Sonic jeeringly waved a hand under his nose.

The man was seeing red. "I do not _stink!_ "

Metal returned his focus to the television, but without one last remark. "If you believe so, rodent."

Eggman believed that he wasn't going to have any more mustache hair to pull when this was all over.

" **Prepare to face the most fearsome destructive force ever to grace this, or any other world!" Eggman hovered a bit to the side and gestured behind him at the ominous black cloud.**

**Team Sonic expectantly stared up at the cloud for a few seconds, but nothing happened. Crickets were chirping in the background.**

Sonic nodded with a grin. "Yep. That basically sums up all the fights with Eggy we've had!"

Eggman had no other words except, "I hate you."

"Nah, I think that you're just jealous of how awesome I am!"

And the hatred steadily grew.

**Eggman glanced between them and the cloud before saying, "It'll be just a minute. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves."**

**The heroes continued to stare silently, waiting.**

" **Your doom in coming, I assure you." The human sounded a little unsure himself. He kept on gesturing to the dark fluff.**

"Even he knows that something could go wrong with his _own_ robot." Amy frowned. "That's just sad!" Not as sad as the potential waste of a beautiful romantic evening, but sad nonetheless.

**Sonic hummed to himself as he crossed his arms. Knuckles seemed bored.**

**A mechanical sound emitted from the cloud, and Eggman perked up. "Ah! Here it is now! This is…cowbot!"**

**As soon as the man's introduction finished, a large white and black robot shaped like a cow hovered out of the cloud, mooing loudly with half-lidded eyes. It landed right in front of the group of heroes.**

"It needs to be decimated immediately," Metal said. "It is a disgrace to all robot-kind."

"And all cow-kind too," Tails muttered.

**Amy wasn't impressed. "It's a cow."**

" **It's a cow** _ **bot**_ **," Eggman corrected with a smirk. The team collectively blinked before bursting out in laughter. Eggman held out a fist. "What? What's so funny?"**

"Is it really not obvious?" Sonic questioned mid-chuckle. "He made a freakin' cow! What's next? A goat? A chicken? The whole farm? Craft some robotic crops while he's at it?"

Knuckles pictured Farmer Eggman, and he didn't know whether to be amused or severely concerned. "I honestly wouldn't be surprised." He eyed the human in the room. "Don't get any ideas, Eggman."

The doctor was clearly offended. "Do you _really_ think that I would resort to something as stupid as _mechanical carrots?_ " There was silence for a beat before he added, "Don't answer that."

" **Cowbot?" Sonic snorted. "That has to be the lamest thing you've come up with."**

**Eggman had his hands on his hips. "Not true!" He began to list off. "There was spoonbot, crybot, mathbot…oh! And who could forget lamebot!" Eggman reined himself back in. "Wait, what am I saying?"**

Shadow propped his head up in his palm. "He's telling on himself at this point."

"That's nothing new though!" Amy replied, gaining a glare from Eggman and a snicker from her one-and-only.

**Sonic grinned. "Yeah."**

" **Forgot about that one," Amy commented.**

" **My breakfast is plotting to kill me."**

**Sonic, Amy, Knuckles, and Tails glanced over at Sticks, and she innocently looked back at them.**

"I'm seriously concerned for her…" Amy furrowed her brow. Having paranoia (or hallucinations, it seriously could be anything with her) _that_ bad couldn't be healthy. "…is she okay?"

"Is she _ever_ okay?" Knuckles grumbled.

Tails pursed his lips. "Apparently not, because the others don't seem too alarmed about what she said…"

The echidna scoffed. "She needs to get help, preferably somewhere _off_ -screen."

**Beeping then filled the air. Eggman focused on the timer on his wrist. "Oh, time to move my laundry to the dryer. I'll leave you in cowbot's capable hooves." The doctor turned around in his hovercraft and flew away.**

"Does he _have_ to talk?" Eggman nearly groaned. "Would it kill him to stay quiet?"

He received raised brows and sly smiles.

Eggman actually groaned this time. "Again, don't answer that."

**Sonic deadpanned. "Okay guys, let's just destroy this thing so we can get back to coconut hurl."**

"Knux, that game _really_ looked fun and-"

"No-" The echidna thought for a moment. "Actually, fine. But I'm always the thrower."

"But that's no fun!"

"For _you._ "

**Eggman paused in his flight, peering over his shoulder. "Oh, did I mention that cowbot is filled with mootonium, a pun-based radioactive compound? If you destroy him, he'll vaporize** _**everything** _ **in a twenty-mile radius." He haughtily waved goodbye. "Toodles!"**

There were too many things Eggman needed to rant about that his mind became a fierce whirlwind, preventing him from saying anything.

Metal hit one of his topics though. "Forcefully ignoring that atrocious pun, why put the radioactive substance in the unsightly robot? It would be much simpler to build a bomb."

Tails twirled his thumbs. "Well, maybe that's because he knew that they would be able to defuse it?"

"That is no excuse." Metal absently tapped a finger on the floor. "He could have just hidden the bomb until it went off. Then the heroes would be no more."

Eggman wished that he had a notepad.

"I know that you're talkin' about the _interesting_ topic of death," Sonic cut in, lips curled upwards. "But are we just gonna ignore that Eggy just said _toodles?"_

Shadow's attention drifted to him. "Yes. I'm learning to block whatever he says out." He was working on doing that with the rest of the characters too.

"I heard it!" Amy nodded. "And I promised myself to never say it again."

"I wish that I _hadn't_ heard it." Knuckles groused.

"I was too busy learning how easily Eggman could kill us…" Tails said before mumbling about getting cameras, different radars, and possibly some guard dogs.

Chuckles escaped Sonic's throat. "Well, _I_ thought it was hilarious!" Mirth-filled green orbs shifted to Eggman. "Hey Egghead, if you ever say somethin' like that, tell me in advance so I can have a recorder ready, yeah?"

Eggman would say 'toodles' the day the sun crashed into the planet.

**Cowbot loudly mooed again before opening its mouth and shooting out missiles.**

" **He's firin' cart missiles!" Sticks yelled as they all ran from the bot, wanting to find some cover.**

**They duck behind some bushes just as a projectile knocked loose four coconuts from a palm tree. Knuckles was devastated. He covered his head with his hands and sobbed. "My record!"**

Knuckles clenched his jaw, figuring that the others wouldn't appreciate a second agonized yell from him.

**Amy ignored him in favor of coming up with a plan. "If we can't smash that thing, what** _**can** _ **we do?"**

**Tails pointed at the robot's back. "It looks like there's an access panel on top. If I can get to it, maybe I can reprogram cowbot!"**

"Quick thinking!" Sonic smiled, glad that the other Tails' intelligence balanced out the IQ of…certain unnamed members of the group.

**Knuckles bumped his namesakes together. "Time to tip this cow!"**

" **I'll distract him," Sonic said before sprinting back into the fray. Cowbot started to target him, missing completely.**

**Knuckles, Tails, Sticks, and Amy were next to the cow, pushing on it. "One!" they shouted.**

**Sonic hopped over a projectile that landed too close to his feet. "Any day now, guys!"**

Knuckles frowned. "I could've pushed that thing over myself in one go!"

"Maybe he wanted to be careful and not let any of the radioactive stuff out…?" Amy suggested.

The echidna deadpanned at her. "You're giving him way too much credit."

" **Two!" the pushing group yelled a second time.**

**A missile blew up the space in front of Sonic, tripping him up. He landed hard on his chest, getting a small taste of sand as he did so.**

" **Three-"**

" **Four!" Knuckles said confidently before becoming flustered. "Uh, I mean three!"**

"He can't count," Knuckles threw his hands in the air. "Of _course_ he can't count! He can't read, can't count, what next? He needs help going to the _bathroom?_ "

Amy shuddered. "Hopefully there won't be an episode about _that_."

Shadow _refused_ to be put through that torture. "I would destroy the TV, freedom be damned."

**With a grunt, they all shoved the bot, and the cow crashed onto its side with a thud, puffing up a cloud of sand.**

**Tails whirled his namesakes and flew up to the panel he had mentioned before. He opened it and messed with the wires inside. Cowbot twitched and mooed, shooting out milk from its mechanical utter. The heroes barely dodged the unexpected streams.**

Eggman stressfully rubbed his forehead. " _Why_ would he waste his time in programming that?"

"Because he has nothing better to do?" Sonic shrugged.

"The time he spent building useless utters could have been used in creating a bomb," Metal brought up. "However, I doubt the idea crossed – or will ever cross – his simplistic mind."

"A damn shame."

"Shads, you won't ever be happy until you see a dead body, will you?'

"Not even then."

**The kit leaned out of the now smoking hole. "That should do it!"**

**Cowbot twitched some more, and its eyes changed from blue to red.**

**When it made a move to get back up, Tails frowned. "Or not…" The fox got off the rising cow, opting to rather be beside Knuckles. Cowbot eventually got to its feet. The robot mooed at the heroes before activating its jet hooves and flying away.**

Tails clapped his hands. "He did it!" He had been a bit concerned for a second – red eyes were never a good sign – but it all worked out! Somehow.

Amy wasn't so relieved. "Hopefully it's not going to the village or something!"

Tails' good mood was gone. "Oh no…"

**The group simply watched the retreat until Sonic asked, "Uh, Tails? What's going on?"**

**The fox faced him. "Not sure… Its original programming was to destroy Sonic. So…since I reversed it…"**

" **It's…going after Eggman!" Sonic's expression brightened, entertained by this turn of events. "Classic!"**

Tails perked back up, glad that his twin wouldn't be responsible for a mass panic, and Sonic barked out a laugh. "Talk about karma! What goes around, comes back around!"

"It's what he gets for building a crappy robot!" Sonic's happiness spread to Amy. She giggled. "I can't wait to see his face!"

Eggman snorted, wanting to see this blow up in his twin's face as well.

" **No," Amy opposed. "It's not classic, it's awful! That thing's a killing machine and if it explodes, no more Eggman!"**

Amy gaped. "What? Why in the world is she feeling _sorry_ for him? He almost killed them!"

Tails furrowed his brow. "And it's not like Eggman would actually die… He built it, so he should know how to shut it down, right?"

"We are talking about the _other_ Eggman here." Knuckles sighed out. "The double would probably just cower in a corner or something. And I would _love_ to see that, but it seems like the girlfriend is going to talk the boyfriend out of it."

Sonic held up a finger. "First off, until I see solid _proof_ that they are t-together-" His face twisted up like he was sucking on a lemon saying that word. "-they _aren't_ a couple!" Sonic gave Amy a look when she opened her mouth, making her stay quiet even though she still looked happy. "Second, seeing Eggy do that would seriously make my day and hopefully they argue with her."

" **And on laundry day?" Knuckles added. "Not cool, Sonic."**

"They need to find duct tape immediately," Knuckles breathed out.

**Sonic groaned in defeat. "Fine. I'll go** _**warn** _ **him."**

"That's a great compromise!" Tails remarked. "He pleases his friends while not actually taking cowbot out!"

"We still get to witness the doctor embarrassing himself, which will be a sight to see," Metal replied.

Eggman agreed wholeheartedly. "We finally see eye-to-eye on something, Metal."

"I do not believe that I was talking to you, rodent."

Eggman wondered why he even tried.

**He glanced at his brother. "Tails, you come with me, and bring your…science stuff."**

**Tails nodded. "You got it, Sonic!"**

" **And while you're there, ask him how he gets out grass stains." Knuckles focused on his gloves. "His whites are always so…white!"**

"It's called using a washing machine…" Knuckles mumbled.

**The scene changed to Tails and Sonic coming to a landing on Eggman's island.**

"Is it going to be just them from now on? _Please_ tell me that it's just going to be them." Knuckles nearly begged.

"And the doctor, don't forget echidna." Shadow reminded, knowing not to get hopeful. "So this is still going to be awful."

**When pilot parked the plane, Sonic advised, "Tails, stay here. Who knows what kind of crazy defenses Eggman has."**

**The hedgehog hopped out of the aircraft. He quietly zipped from rock to rock to stealthily make his approach to the front door. He even crawled and tip-toed to be extra safe.**

Sonic scoffed. "That's the _total_ opposite of me! I would've been torn that door down! He really needs some lessons on how to be me."

**At the door, Sonic rose a fist and knocked. There was no answer.**

" **Huh, nothing," Sonic muttered with a small smirk. "You think you know a villain." The moment he walked off, the doors slid open.**

**Eggman, clad in his pink onesie pajamas, was shocked to see Sonic there. "Oh! I wasn't expecting company."**

Amy squeaked in horror. "Not again!"

Shadow wanted to tear his eyes out. "I need that damn bleach…"

"I want to hop in the TV and burn the onesie _for_ him because I know he isn't going to do it anytime soon." Knuckles struggled to keep his gaze on the monitor.

"If I don't do it first," Eggman grumbled. Did it _have_ to be pink?

**Sonic looked disgusted. "Yeah…I figured that out…" He pointed to the perimeter of the lair. "Don't you have some kind of defense system?" His frown deepened. "And pants?"**

"You could ask that question to _this_ doctor," Metal said, glancing at the human wearing only boxers. "Since apparently you have forgotten the rest of your clothes as well."

"I did not _forget_ anything!" Eggman stomped his foot. "I was taken out of my home by the _thing_ and dropped into this house of horrors!"

"That is nothing but an excuse, doctor."

" **Funny story! I used parts from my defense system to make the cowbot I sent to destroy you. How did that work out, by the way?" Eggman asked as an afterthought.**

"Well, since Sonic is standing right there _unhurt_ , it worked out pretty well for him," Knuckles commented.

" **Tails reprogramed it, and it's coming here to destroy** _ **you**_ **instead." Sonic replied cockily. "So, good luck with all that." He then copied Eggman's goodbye from earlier. "Toodles!"**

Sonic felt eyes on him as he pursed his lips. "My twin was teasing him, so it's alright if he says it!"

"No it isn't," Shadow instantly opposed.

" **But you can't just leave me here without my defenses!" Eggman reasoned. "I'd be…eh…what's the word?"**

**Sonic turned to look at him, exasperated. "Defenseless."**

Amy blinked slowly. "Did he really…not know the word for it?"

"And had to ask _Sonic_ for the right one?" Tails was just as confused.

Sonic let out a single chuckle. "Maybe you're right, Knux! Your double _has_ to be contagious or somethin'."

"He just needs to stop. _Talking._ " Eggman complained. "Is that too much to ask?"

Metal nodded. "Yes, because he is _your_ twin."

**Tails walked over. "Do you need us to bring your defense systems back online?"**

Tails fiddled with one of his namesakes. "Okay…you're being a little too nice now…"

"I want to see a terrified Eggman!" Amy pouted. "So I can forget about that _horrid_ onesie!"

**Eggman waved his hands. "Nah, I'm good. Unless you activated cowbot's stage two directive, then my defenses will be useless."**

**Sonic tilted his head. "That's not that whole…red eyes thingy, is it?"**

**The man nodded. "Yeah, how'd you know?"**

**The speedster marginally shrugged. "Lucky guess."**

**They were inside now. Tails was sitting at Eggman's desk, fiddling with the touchscreen.**

"Why oh _why_ hasn't he changed out of his pajamas yet?" Amy complained. It took less than a minute to throw on something else!

" **The only way to stop cowbot is to upgrade Eggman's defense system," Tails explained.**

" **You'd…do that for me?" Eggman sounded equally parts shocked and flattered. "After all the terrible – yet totally justified – things I've tried to do to you?"**

Sonic snorted. "He must have a _whole_ different definition for 'justified' than we do. Tryin' to take over the world isn't exactly a 'justified' reason."

Eggman would like to disagree, but he knew that his words would somehow get twisted and he wasn't in the mood for that. It had happened too many times already.

"He is so pathetic." Metal observed. "Why did my twin let him live for this long?"

"Because you _might_ be a toaster," Knuckles provided, and the robot fell silent.

**Sonic didn't answer him. He instead regarded the kit. "Good thing I told you to bring your science stuff, huh Tails? You start working on Eggman's defenses, I'll gather up parts." Sonic then sighed. "And Eggman…put on some pants."**

"Please listen to him!" Amy cried out.

**Eggman – in his regular clothes now-**

The pinkette sighed in relief.

**-was plugging in some cords, Tails was messing with a circuit board, and Sonic – after hearing a ding – pulled a steaming chili dog out of a microwave.**

"Of course," Tails said jovially, snickering.

Sonic was nearly drooling. "That looks amazing!"

Knuckles scoffed. "It's good to know that your addition transcends dimensions."

"It is good! I'd relieved to know that my double has great taste!"

**To test out a part of the defense system, a robot came rolling down the hallway and was immediately frozen by a laser beam. Sonic and Tails shared a proud look.**

**Sonic was pushing a satellite-looking machine outside. Eggman, who had goggles one, pushed a button on a remote he had. Small robots hovered well above the base and produced a forcefield that surrounded the whole lair.**

"If that doesn't keep out cowbot, I don't know what will." Tails was just as proud as his double.

**The azure speedster tapped the human's wrist and pointed to the side. A lone chili dog was sitting on a rock** _**just** _ **outside the range of the field. Eggman reluctantly disactivated the shield for a few seconds so Sonic could get his food.**

Amy furrowed her brow. "That was…generous of him?"

"Even Eggy knows the importance of chili dog consumption!" Sonic smiled, happy to know that no food went to waste.

**The trio observed as cowbot appeared in the far distance.**

" **Okay," Sonic started, Tails and Eggman listening. "When cowbot comes in range, Eggman will lower the forcefield, I'll zap cowbot with the freeze-ray, and Tails, you fly over and disarm it." Sonic held out his hand palm-down. Tails and Eggman put theirs on top of his. "Alright, let's rock!" Sonic cheered and they threw their hands in the air.**

Metal cocked his head. "They have a severely complicated relationship."

"Never in a million years would I do that." Eggman scrunched his nose up in distaste.

Sonic smirked. "Ditto! Who knows where your gloves have been?"

The human gritted his teeth so hard that he was surprised they didn't shatter.

**The azure speedster laughed, pumped for what's to come, and they all were ready to go. It was too bad that cowbot was taking its sweet time.**

" **Let's butcher this bovine!" Tails added, and they waited some more.**

**Those words didn't make the robot arrive any quicker.**

**They all slumped. "I…think we have some time," Sonic said.**

"Why can't they just leave him now?" Knuckles would've been left the doctor high and dry. "Eggman should be able to man-"

"With how the doctor has been acting, you should throw all pre-determined expectations out of the nearest window."

"You're right, Metal. You're right."

" **Do you wanna go inside?" Eggman suggested. "I got cocoa!"**

Eggman ran a hand down his face. "Because why wouldn't he, right? Why wouldn't he have hot cocoa?!"

"That Eggman is acting weirdly positive and I don't know to feel about it." Tails vocalized his uneasiness. "One second he's planning murder, and the next he's offering hot beverages."

"Maybe he put poison in them."

Everyone glanced over to Shadow, whose expression was blank.

Tails bit the inside of his cheek. "Yeah, I'm worried now."

**The trio were now sitting on a white couch in a spacious room. Tails sipped his cocoa and subtly winced. The smile on his muzzle was forced. "That is some…** _**interesting** _ **cocoa."**

**Eggman was holding a mug himself. "Wanna guess my secret ingredient?"**

_Rat poison,_ Shadow's mind supplied. _Arsenic. Cyanide._

**Sonic frowned as he addressed Tails. "If he says love, I'm outta here."**

"Don't blame ya, other me."

**The kit hummed thoughtfully. "…Is it nutmeg?"**

" **Close! It's actually a tablespoon of garlic powder."**

**Tails slowly blinked, smile twitching from the strain. "Well, that explains the texture…"**

Amy covered her mouth, imagining the disgusting taste and the _feel_ and- "I'm actually going to throw up…"

"Aim it over _there_." Knuckles pointed to the other side of the pinkette, trying not to be targeted.

Tails attempted to find the silver lining. "At least it's not poison…?"

**Sonic opted to place his mug on the table. However, before he could do that, Eggman slipped a coaster under it. "Whoa whoa whoa! Coaster! What, were you raised in a barn?"**

"A shack, actually." Sonic chortled. "There's a difference."

**The hero disregarded him in favor of picking up a cookie from the plate in front of him. After he took a bite, Eggman instantly had a handheld vacuum and was sucking the crumbs from the hedgehog's neckerchief.**

"Why even give them stuff to eat it in the first place?" Knuckles huffed. He wasn't the one being cleaned, and yet he was still annoyed.

"I doubt _he_ knows why." Eggman had lost all faith in his twin. Not that he had a lot to begin with.

**After swallowing the treat, Sonic groaned in revulsion.**

" **Wanna guess the secret ingredient?" Eggman asked again.**

" **Garlic?"**

" **Nope! Love!" Eggman chuckled. "Just kidding. It's garlic."**

**Sonic mumbled to himself, somewhat irritated. "And I thought he was annoying when he was just trying to destroy us."**

"Who would've thought that domestic Eggman is worse than homicidal Eggman?" Amy asked, realizing how weird that could sound out of context.

Sonic shrugged. "You learn new things every day!" He grinned at the doctor. "Just don't ever take up baking, 'kay?"

"If you catch me doing so, I give you full permission to put me out of my misery."

**Later on, the three were watching a horror movie on a TV.**

**Eggman suddenly shot his hand out. "Don't go in there! It's a trap!" However, the girl onscreen understandably didn't hear him and screamed in terror. Eggman leaned back. "Can you believe that she went in there?"**

**Sonic had his hands linked behind his head. "Yeah," he replied in monotone. "And after you warned her and everything."**

"The displeasure rolling off my copy's copy is making this mildly entertaining," Metal stated.

Knuckles snorted. "Well, I wouldn't want to be there either."

"It's just interesting to watch because our Sonic would be teasing and joking non-stop in this position, while that one is just…irritated." Tails pointed out.

Sonic saw where his bro was coming from. This twin surely lacked his world-famous one-liners, that's for sure. "Just another difference between me and him, I guess."

Amy hummed to herself. "It's like he has a bit of Knuckles in him, or even Shadow."

"Don't," the two mentioned nearly growled, and she innocently held her hands up.

**They were back outside, and cowbot was still way far off.**

**Eggman deeply sighed before regarding the two. "What do you guys do for fun?"**

**Tails had that pinecone again. "Here we are, the coconut hurl grand championship. Sonic the hedgehog will be tossing his arch-rival Dr. Eggman. Let's join the game already in progress."**

**Sonic was struggling to pick the rotund man up by his back. He soon gave up.**

Knuckles rolled his eyes. " _Why_ did they try in the first place?"

"They are desperate to pass the time…" Amy answered, wondering if the robot was made out of lead or something. Because it sure wasn't in a hurry to destroy Eggman.

" **Ooo, that's going to be a penalty," Tails announced.**

**The small group were now sitting on the ground, waiting on the robot as said bot mooed in the distance.**

**Eggman was twiddling his thumbs. Then he smiled. "Hey, I've got an idea!"**

**The next scene was Sonic using a catapult to fling Eggman through the air. The man hit a potted palm tree, knocking down a multitude of coconuts.**

Sonic chuckled to himself. "Hey Eggy-"

"Absolutely _not._ "

" **They've done it!" Tails cried out into his pinecone. "A new record!"**

**Eggman sat up – coconuts rolling off of him – in time to high-five Sonic.**

Eggman wondered if this was just some messed up fever dream, that he was going to wake up in a couple of minutes covered in a cold sweat and promising himself to never eat sweets before bed again.

**The trio were then sitting, and the sun was going down. Even more time passed, and eventually it was completely night. Sonic's impatience was showing. "We've been up forever. When is cowbot gonna get here?"**

"Never," echoed around the room.

" **You're so** _ **impatient,**_ **Sonic." Eggman admonished, roasting marshmallows over a small fire. "Sometimes you gotta slow down and enjoy life! Here!" He held out his stick. "Have a roasted marshmallow."**

**Sonic took it and bit into the mush. "Mm…sticky, but good."**

Sonic tapped his foot on the floor. "He's so quick to take it! Hasn't he learned from the garlic incident?"

Tails understood the double's decision. "But come on, Sonic…it's _marshmallows._ Would you have pushed them away?"

"…No, but that's not my point!"

**Tails had finished his already. "** _**Really** _ **good."**

Tails wouldn't mind some roasted 'mallows right now.

**Eggman got comfortable, laying down. "I** _**never** _ **get to do stuff like this with Orbot and Cubot. Marshmallows always gunk up their circuitry."**

**Sonic glanced at him. "Yeah, that's the problem with having no real friends."**

"Ooo…" A lopsided grin grew on Sonic's muzzle. "I hope he has an ice pack ready."

"Or aloe," Tails continued.

Knuckles snorted. "Or a corner to cry in."

" **Yeah…" Eggman breathily agreed.**

Metal turned towards the human, who braced himself. "Why do you never own up to your numerous faults, doctor?"

"Yeah!" Amy jumped on the bandwagon. "That's probably why you lose all the time, you know."

"Self-esteem issues is _not_ why I lose!" Eggman growled.

Metal held on to that topic. "You have self-esteem issues? That is why you are constantly a disappointment. You are nothing to others and to yourself."

See? Eggman didn't want his words to get twisted like _that._

Shadow released an amused snort, and the scientist wasn't having it. "You have _no_ room to say anything, Shadow. Exactly _how_ many times have you been confused on who the hell _you_ are?"

Eggman realized that he had made a big mistake when a glare with the heat of a thousand suns was aimed at him.

And then there was a fist aimed at his face. Oh joy.

Shadow was about to break the man's nose and then some, fueled by the rage igniting his dark soul from within, but then something clamped around his neck and jerked him backwards.

A raspy gasp escaped his throat before he crashed to the ground on his back. "What in the…" He sat up and felt around his neck, feeling a collar. A snarl rumbled in his chest. " _Hell?"_ He clawed at the restraint. His blazing red scarlets narrowed at the leash attaching him to the wall.

Shadow fought it, pulling, struggling, and cursing all the while. He didn't deserve this. So what if he had wanted – _still_ wanted – to violently attack the doctor? The man was obviously asking for it.

For once, Eggman was glad that the _thing_ existed.

Sonic glanced between the currently feral Shadow and the blanched doctor. His gaze settled on the latter. "Well that was unexpected…"

"You were _so_ close to getting your face rearranged, Eggman." Knuckles stated the obvious.

"Really? I never would've guessed." Eggman was too focused on controlling his heartrate to leak sarcasm into his tone.

Shadow had stopped fighting the collar at this point, clenching and unclenching his fists. His scarlet orbs holding many promises were glaring right at Eggman, lips pressed into a thin line and quills bristled.

Amy probably would've fainted if that amount of killing intent was focused on her. "You kinda went too far, Eggman…" Tails nodded, agreeing with her.

Eggman couldn't believe this. " _I_ went too – So all of you can critically insult _me_ , but I can't retaliate?"

"Nailed it right on the head!" Sonic chirped with a wink.

The doctor slumped in his seat, giving up on everything. He just hoped that the _thing_ wisely kept Shadow chained until he could get safely away.

Metal stared at the striped hedgie sitting beside him before getting up and claiming Shadow's former spot on the couch. He palmed the forgotten remote. Knuckles eyed him, and the robot said, "The angle to watch the television is better from here."

Sonic snorted before asking the black anthro, "You comfortable down there, Shads?"

Shadow barely paid him any attention, many different non-PG scenarios floating around in his head.

"I'll take that as a yes."

**He quickly got over it. "Hey, do you know what I hate? That Dave the intern, am I right eh?"**

" **You know, I never gave him that much thought," Sonic uttered, dismissing the topic.**

"Let's not bring him up ever again," Knuckles ordered, a bit wary of Metal attacking him for whatever reason.

**Tails was trying to get as much as he could from his cleaned stick. "Are there any more marshmallows?"**

**Eggman was eager to continue some sort of conversation. "Hey Sonic, bro to bro, what's up with you and Amy?"**

**Sonic froze like a deer in headlights.**

Amy perked up, and Sonic whimpered, looking like he wanted to curl into a ball.

Tails usually backed up his bro, but this… "If _Eggman_ thinks something's going on, Sonic, then…"

"They're dating! They like each other!" Amy squealed before standing up and practically launching herself at the speedster.

Sonic put his hands out, feet scampering to push him over the back of the couch. "No! Amy, wait!" But it was too late. The pinkette crashed into him, taking all of the air out of his lungs. She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and settled into his lap. She nuzzled his cheek, and he felt his soul leave his body. "Amy, _p-please_ g-get…off. You're ch-choking…me."

Tails – who had narrowly avoided getting elbowed in the face – wisely went to take the pinkette's former seat, feeling bad for Sonic right now.

Amy relaxed her grip, but only a little bit. She remained where she was. "Can't you see that we're made for each other?" She ignored his plea, giggling. "If _they_ can do it in their weird world, we can make it work too!"

Sonic went to gently push her off, but she held on tight. He wondered _why_ she wasn't leashed as well, since she was practically smothering him.

Sonic wracked his brain for something, anything, while disregarding Knuckles' laughs in the background. His mouth moved on its own. "Hey Ames, if you give off me now, I'll give you a date later."

Her eyes sparkled at the word 'date'. "You mean it this time?" Her grip became tighter again. " _Promise_ me!"

"Promise!" Sonic gave a shaky smile that somehow won her over. She slid off him and sat to his side, her happiness palpable.

Knuckles produced a whipping sound with his mouth, and Sonic pondered how the echidna would like being superglued to that precious rock of his.

**The scene cut to the morning, where the three were sleeping by the remains of a fire.**

**Eggman was then woken out of his sleep by the sound of something hitting the forcefield. Yawning, he sat up to see cowbot firing missiles at the shield.**

"It's about time…" Sonic complained. If only cowbot would've shown up _before_ the other Eggman had blabbered his mouth. He had no idea how to get out of that date.

" **Wake up, wake up!" he shouted in panic, rousing the heroes, who snapped to attention.**

**They all hopped to their feet. "Engage all defense systems!" Tails yelled before he and Sonic ran to their stations.**

**Eggman palmed a remote. "Turning off the forcefield!" He pressed the button, but the remote short circuited because of the leftover marshmallow on his hand. The field took its time in deactivating. "Uh, I'm having some trouble here!"**

Tails frowned. "The marshmallows shouldn't _still_ be sticky like that. They've had all night to dry!"

"They have eaten copious amounts, kit." Metal corrected him. "So it is possible…though having the sweet food mess up the device to that degree says something about its craftmanship."

"But wait, my double helped with the building this time!"

"Like I said, it says something about its craftmanship."

**Sonic was with the laser. He tried to activate it, but he had the sweet treat on his fingers too. "This thing's all gunked up. My hands are sticky from the marshmallows!"**

Tails slumped a bit while Amy suggested, "Just…take your gloves off? That'll solve all your problems!"

" **It's game over man! Game over!" Eggman accepted his defeat.**

Knuckles rose a brow at that. "He might still cower in fear."

**Tails stared at him before focusing on his own sticky hands. "Marshmallow! If they gunk up our machinery, they'll gunk up cowbot's too!"**

Tails brightened, loving how his twin got to redeem himself, and Knuckles felt robbed.

" **How are we gonna reach the access panel?" Sonic asked.**

**The next shot showed Sonic in the catapult used earlier with the coconut game. The hedgie braced himself. "Ready, aim, fire!" Eggman released the lever, and the speedster was airborne with a bucket of melted marshmallow in his hands.**

**Sonic then promptly slammed into the part of the field still intact. He landed on the ground on his back before sitting up and glaring at the doctor. "I said** _**aim.** _ **"**

Eggman was glad to know that his other self still had a _hint_ of sadism in him. Every other trait was the equivalent of hot garbage.

**The satisfaction on Eggman's face couldn't be hidden. "Oh, was that meant for** _**me** _ **?"**

"That's…kinda more like the Egghead I know."

"Don't compare me to him, pincushion." Eggman knew that he had just done it himself, but that was fine. He just didn't like _others_ saying it.

**Sonic was back in the catapult. "Ready,** _**aim-** _ **" He gave Eggman a pointed look. "-fire!"**

**He was launched again, but this time he made it through a hole in the field and landed on cowbot's back. He hastily opened the panel and poured the marshmallow into the cow's circuitry. It began to short-circuit in the air. Sonic jumped off and landed by the others as cowbot dropped to the ground, its eyes turning black and going limp.**

Metal's eyes flashed. "That took much too long."

"At least they finally did it." Knuckles then thought for a moment. "Though, the bot could've easily exploded upon impact."

"It was worth the risk!" Amy leaned closer to the blue blur, smiling. "Right, Sonic?"

Sonic leaned away until he got as close to Eggman as he could without touching him. "Y-Yeah! Totally, Ames!"

" **It worked!" Eggman celebrated.**

**Tails grinned. "That's the beauty of teamwork!"**

**Eggman was quick to argue. "Not teamwork, my master plan! I tricked you into helping me upgrade my security system!"**

"Why would he tell them that?" Eggman groaned before shaking his head. "Why am I still asking at this point?"

"That's a good question." Sonic snickered.

The doctor was about to respond to that, but then he locked gazes with a still pissed Shadow and he gulped instead. He would have to haul ass if he didn't want to get caught by Shadow when all this was over.

" **Now I can use my own tech against you!"**

" **Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?" Sonic went and poured marshmallow on every device they helped restore and fortify. The forcefield went down, and the robots maintaining it fell out of the sky.**

**Eggman scratched the back of his neck. "I really need to stop doing that thing where I gloat and explain exactly what you need to do to stop me."**

"You think that he's going to learn from this?"

"Will Sonic ever learn how to swim?" Knuckles countered Tails' question.

"No…"

"There's your answer."

**Sonic dusted his hands off as he approached his little bro. "Our work here is done. C'mon Tails." They left for the airplane.**

**Then, Orbot and Cubot exited the lair. "Dr. Eggman?" the former called out tentatively. "May we come out now?"**

" **No!" the man sharply responded.**

**Cubot spotted some treats on the ground. "Ooo, marshmallows!" He and Orbot both picked some up and took one bite. They immediately broke down in sparks.**

Metal produced a hum. "Good."

"Well that was an…" Tails glanced from a seething Shadow to a love-struck Amy. "…interesting episode to say the least…"

Knuckles leaned back against the cushion, stretching his legs a bit. "The main heroes didn't do anything stupid; it was just Eggman and-" Knuckles didn't even want to say their names. "All in all, it could've been way worse." Like pounced on by a crazed fangirl or nearly attacked by a frothing weapon of mass destruction, worse.

Sonic was about to add his opinion, but then something dropped into his open palm. He peered down at it. It was small and some kind of fruit. It wasn't a grape, or a raisin, but a…

The _thing_ had to be bipolar, but he couldn't care less at this point.

Sonic stood up, pretending to loosen his muscles. He then faced Amy and tossed the fruit at her.

The pinkette had snapped out of her daydream to catch the item, frowning down at it. "Sonic, what's this?"

The speedster grinned. "That's your date, like I promised!" Before his words completely sunk in, he excused himself. "Going to the bathroom!" More like going to hide, but he couldn't say that out loud. He hastily zipped away.

Amy blinked at the spot he had occupied. A frown marred her muzzle when she quickly stood up, throwing the date on the ground and stomping on it. "Sonic. The. Hedgehog! You _come back here!"_ A hammer materialized in her grip, and she marched after the poor soul, her heavy footfalls vibrating the floor.

Tails kept his gaze on her. "We should help him…"

Knuckles scoffed. "Yeah, we _should._ " He patted the kit's shoulder, keeping him seated. "But let's just wait this out."

"You're horrible sometimes, Knuckles." The kit was only half joking.

"I know."

Meanwhile, Eggman was having a reluctant stare-down with Shadow. The man absently twisted his mustache. "You're still mad, aren't you?"

The hedgehog's molten reds only blazed brighter.

Eggman heavily sighed.


	13. Chapter 13

Being trapped in the bathroom while Amy threatened to tear his door down really made him think if the _thing_ was trying to help him or _hurt_ him.

Probably both, a 25-75 split.

Sonic was pressing his back hard against the door he locked behind him, gazing at the window across the bathroom in longing. If _only_ he could jump out and save himself. He should've thought this out better. The bathroom – currently with only one way in _and_ out – wasn't the best hiding spot.

"Sonic the hedgehog!" With every word the clearly upset pinkette on the other side shouted, a hard bang vibrated the door. "Get _out here!_ "

Well, he wanted to live, so…

Sonic chuckled, needing his voice to come out strong. "How 'bout you calm down a little first, yeah Ames?"

There was a loud gasp. "Calm down? Calm down?!" Her volume increased, and Sonic seriously needed to use his brain more often. "I was calm until you _gave me a stupid fruit!"_ He heard a deep breath, and she spoke softer. "I promise that I won't hurt you badly, okay _Sonikku?"_

Sonic doubted that.

Back in the living room, Tails was growing more and more concerned. Amy was a whirlwind when she got angry, and he was worried about the well-being of her brother…also, they needed Sonic to be conscious to get on with the show…

He glanced around to see if anyone was going to help. Knuckles was sitting beside him, smiling like this was the most entertaining thing ever. Metal Sonic hadn't moved a muscle – er, servo? – but he didn't expect anything more. Eggman was too busy avoiding Shadow's stare that promised a thousand deaths.

Tails got up and went to defuse the situation.

He walked down the connecting hall a bit before shuffling up to Amy's side. She didn't notice him, all of her attention focused on abusing the door and scaring the hero in the bathroom.

The kit silently swallowed and wished himself luck. "Hey Amy…" She didn't respond to him, her anger overshadowing all else. He tried again. "Amy!" No response to him. Tails twiddled his thumbs, thinking of a solution. He glanced back the way he came for a moment before a lightbulb went off in his head. "Amy…I _think_ Metal might be judging your lady-ness again…"

_That_ got her attention.

She whirled on him, Sonic momentarily forgotten. "What?!" Amy peered past Tails and puffed out her cheeks. She was a woman on a mission – what that mission _was_ wasn't important – and Metal had no right to judge her because of this! "I'm a _lady_ , and-!"

Tails held up innocent hands, meekly smiling at her. " _I_ know that! You might want to save that argument for the robot out there."

Amy narrowed her eyes, her attention drifting from the kit to the bathroom door to the living room. She huffed, and her hammer disappeared in a puff of smoke. "I'll show him!" Amy held her head high as she moved around the fox. She kept her sharp gaze on Metal's head as she eventually made it back to her seat.

To her disdain, Metal's red eyes shifted in her direction. "That was neither polite nor sophisticated-"

"I am a _perfect_ lady inside and out! Don't you _ever_ doubt that, mister!"

"But you did not disagree-"

"What did I _just say?_ Knuckles, back me up here!"

The echidna addressed was trying hard to not choke on his laughter, sounding like a cat coughing up a hairball.

Back with Tails, the kit was encouraging his brother to come out of his hiding place. "C'mon, Sonic!" he coaxed. "She's not out here anymore."

"…Are you sure?" Sonic tentatively asked from the other side. "Or did she bribe you with candy or something to try to get me out?"

Tails slowly blinked. "Sonic, I wouldn't sell you out for-"

"Tails, it's _candy._ "

The kit sighed, not going to agree or refute those (possibly true) words. "She's gone, promise! She's too busy being mad at Metal right now."

The bathroom door cracked open, two emerald eyes searching around before landing on the kit. Sonic rose a curious brow. "Mad at Metal?"

Tails grinned. "I _may_ have said that Metal was judging her femininity again."

Sonic laughed as he stepped out of his hiding place, more than a little relieved. He rustled the fox's bangs. "Thanks bud! I owe you one!" Tails playfully swatted his hand away. Sonic chuckled before uttering, "I'm switching seats with you, by the way."

"Wait, what?" Tails stuttered. Amy could possibly be still hostile and no thanks. "No?" When Sonic opened his mouth to argue, Tails added with a smirk, "You owe me that seat!" His brother definitely couldn't refute-

"Eh, I'll take a raincheck on that!"

Sonic dashed away, and Tails wondered how comfortable the floor was.

In the living room, Sonic plopped down beside Knuckles, who was finally calming himself down. The azure speedster rolled his eyes. "Glad you enjoyed that, Knux…"

Before Knuckles could say just how much that made his day, Amy called over to the blue hero. "Why don't you want to sit by me anymore, Sonic?" The question was innocent enough to keep Metal from questioning her again, but there were dangerous undertones that surely got her point across.

Sonic snickered uneasily, gesturing to Tails as the kit reentered the room. "Because Tails wanted to take my seat! Don't ask me why, but-" Sonic paused when his kid brother bypassed the couch completely, sitting on the ground with a respectable distance between him and the fuming Shadow. "…Guess he changed his mind?"

Amy smiled. "It's okay! I don't mind!" she sing-songed sweetly, _too_ sweetly. Sonic shuddered.

"Should we plan your funeral now or later?" Knuckles snorted.

Eggman eyed the pink and blue hedgehogs. "Looks like you got the short end of the stick, cactus." He'd rather deal with a rabid Shadow than a wrathful female.

"You think that _now_." Sonic was happy enough to focus on Eggman. He managed a smirk. "But I think you'll be singing a different tune when Shads is set free."

" _Exactly_ , so hurry up and play the damn show," Shadow hissed at the tense doctor while actually addressing Metal, who had the remote.

Observing all of this, Metal realized that enemies were superfluous if allies were equally as destructive. For example, Amy struck fear in the heart of his annoying copy more than he ever could. Maybe he should've requested her help when his main objective had been still in play…

It was too late now however. He pressed the play button.

**The scene started out with Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks running in the valley of a large canyon.**

"Welp." Knuckles sighed out. "Good feeling's gone." He knew that it wouldn't last long, but the _first_ second of the episode? Really?

In contrast, Amy was glad for her twin's appearance. "Maybe she and the other Sonic will have a _real_ date to show that their love means more than a tinyfruit."

She said all of that with a calm smile, and Sonic wished that she had yelled it at him. He'd be less terrified. She was going to get her revenge somehow, he knew. He wouldn't be so on edge if he wasn't _stuck in the house with her_.

Dates were his least favorite fruit, now.

**Amy shouted to the echidna, "Knuckles, flank left!"**

**Knuckles frowned. "I don't take orders from you!** _**You** _ **flank left!"**

" **Why do we have to have this discussion every single time?" Amy asked, exasperated.**

"It's reassuring that his friends are fed up with him too." Knuckles grumbled, hoping that his twin would go away like in the last episode, preferably forever. And he'd be happier if his double took Sticks with him also.

Tails wrapped his namesakes around himself to get more comfortable. He was smart to avoid the couch. Shadow wasn't angry at _him_ , so he was moderately safe. "Well, from what we've seen, it doesn't take much to annoy Amy…"

Knuckles resisted the urge to ask, 'Which one?' because he'd rather not have a hammer hurled his way.

**There was then a loud crash to the side, and the trio paused to see a huge octopus robot emerge from the canyon wall. "Behold!" Eggman was inside manning the machine, grinning arrogantly. "The awesome power of Octopus Bot!"**

"Yeah…I get the feeling that he's exaggerating," Sonic commented absently. He was watching the TV, but most of his other senses were waiting for Amy to pounce. However, all she did was noncommittally hum at his words.

Eggman rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his bare – he wasn't ever going to get his regular clothes, was he? – chest, desiring for someone to put his twin in a coma or something so they wouldn't have to endure him again. "You have a _feeling_ , pincushion? It's a fact that he is exaggerating."

"That is accurate," Metal cut in. "Because the doctor knows this from experience."

Eggman pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to ten. Between Metal whittling down his psyche and Shadow potentially wearing down his life expectancy, he didn't know if he was going to make it out of this house.

**The robot menacingly raised its tentacles while Sonic ran out of the formed hole. He sprinted to the front of the mech and shook one of its large appendages. "Nice to meet you," he greeted cordially before quickly running around two of the tentacles, tangling them.**

**As Eggman struggled to loosen them, Amy swiftly approached with her hammer at the ready. She easily dodged jabbing tentacles before taking a swing at one, causing it to fly off in sparks.**

Amy leaned forward in her seat, beaming. "Nice! Show him who's boss!"

"It's not hard," Knuckles jeered. "They do it _every_ episode!"

Beside him, Metal added, "You would think that he would be intelligent enough to pursue a different career path. For example, a-"

"Corpse." Shadow suggested, giving Eggman a dangerous look, fingering his collar.

Metal glanced at the striped hedgehog. "That is not an occupation, but I will take it nonetheless."

No one commented on their morbid words, knowing better to question a formally-homicidal robot and a _currently_ -homicidal Shadow.

Eggman counted to twenty to calm his nerves.

**Eggman blinked in surprise for a moment and then growled. He opted to chase after Sticks, who outran the attacking tentacles by hopping up the canyon wall. When she backflipped over the robot, the octopus stabbed its head with its own appendage. Eggman eventually managed to pull it out.**

**Sonic was the man's next target, but no hits landed because of how the hedgehog nimbly ran circles around him.**

Sonic gave a pleased smile, proud of his twin, though it was true that fighting that Eggman would be easier than opening a jar of pickles.

" **You know, this would be easier if you'd all stop moving around," Eggman complained.**

Funny, Amy could say the same thing about getting Sonic to realize his true feelings for her. Though, that mission was on pause for now. It was resume _after_ proper revenge has been served.

She innocently waved at Sonic when he glimpsed at her.

Yeah, tough love was in order.

**Sonic continued to duck and dodge. "Sorry, I can't hear you." He slid to a stop, and he** _**still** _ **managed to avoid getting attacked. "Too busy running circles around your Squid Bot!"**

" **It's not a squid, it's an octopus!" Eggman heatedly argued. "Can't you tell by the size of the tentacles in relation to the head?"**

"It's…" Tails furrowed his brow, recounting to make sure he wasn't the one wrong here. "It's neither because the robot has ten legs. You guys see that, right? Ten legs?"

"My twin's IQ has dropped to the level of that red imbecile's…I can't say that I'm surprised."

Knuckles shook his head at the human. "Not yet. You can't say that until he forgets how to count to _three._ "

"And uses cooked birds as puppets," Tails piped up.

The echidna groaned, the memory resurfacing. "That too."

" **Sonic!" Tails was talking into his headset, flying overhead in his plane. "My laser-guided Unbolterizer is ready to go! I've got a clean shot at Spider Bot!"**

**It wasn't a question whether Eggman was irritated or not. "It's an octopus! An** _**octopus!** _ **"**

Sonic tapped his chin. "Nah, it's more like a… _ten_ topus." He slowly blinked and muttered to himself, "Is that even an animal…?"

Tails stifled a chuckle behind his hand. "Well, for one, no that isn't a real animal, and-"

"You used the wrong prefix for the numerical value ten." Metal lectured sharply. "You are starting to sound like the echidna's twin, copy."

Okay, Sonic had to admit that actually hurt a bit, and Amy's giggles weren't making it any better.

**Sonic responded with his communicator. "Tails, have you even tested it yet?"**

" **Don't worry!" The kit reassured. "It'll work!"**

Well _now_ it wasn't. "Famous last words," Knuckles said. The other Tails was his favorite character, but he knew how this show worked by now. What could go wrong, _would_ go wrong.

Tails' confidence wasn't shaken. "Have faith, Knuckles!"

**Tails locked onto the robot and fired a yellow beam. The laser missed the bot and bounced crazily around the canyon until it hit one of the mech's detached limbs. The tentacle exploded, and flying debris loosened rocks held high on the cliff face, causing them to fall.**

The kit bit the inside of his cheek. "That's not good."

**Tails was in shock. "That's not good."**

Tails felt the amused gazes on his back as he coughed to cover his embarrassment.

"It's nothin' major though!" Sonic waved off the situation. "It's just measly rocks!"

Knuckles scoffed. "For _us_ maybe."

"Don't be so down, Knuckles!" Amy lightly chastised before addressing the blue speedster. "We gotta put at least _some_ faith in their ability, right Sonic?"

She purposefully made her tone sugar sweet, mentally patting herself on the back when Sonic eyed her.

The azure hedgie took a deep breath. "Ames, if you're gonna do something, just do it already."

She innocently cocked her head. "What are you talking about? I would never do anything to you!"

Even _Eggman_ knew that she was lying.

"C'mon!" Sonic threw his hands in the air. "I can't focus on the show if I'm constantly waiting for you to get me back!" Also, his high levels of anticipation couldn't be healthy. "Hit me! Right now! Get it over with!"

There was a glint in her eyes before she simply replied, "Nope."

Sonic sulked.

Knuckles inwardly cackled.

**Sticks was closest to the crashing rocks. She dodged them with a yell before jumping on a larger one, running on it and trying to keep her balance. "Whoa!" She panted. "I should have taken that log-rolling class."**

Amy forgot her master plan for a moment to send Sticks a confused look. "Log rolling?"

"Given her appearance, it is not that farfetched," Metal said.

**Knuckles was punching and kicking the smaller rocks coming his way. "Keep 'em coming!" He laughed. "I could do this all day!" He was about to punch a larger bolder, but it easily ran him over, flattening him into the dirt. "…I could use a breather."**

Knuckles was about to clap, but then a sobering thought came to him. "There goes his last IQ points."

Tails fought to see the positives. "Or maybe, by some miracle, he remembers that he isn't supposed to be as dumb as the rock that ran him over…?"

"You're reaching, Tails."

**Tails dived down, aiming at Octopus Bot, but the mech smacked the aircraft away, sending it spiraling.**

**Eggman laughed triumphally. "How the tide has turned. That's a nautical reference, cause it's a squid…I-I mean, octopus!" He growled, angered by his mistake. "Great! Now you've got** _**me** _ **doing it!"**

Eggman just wanted the heroes to defeat his double to get him off-screen. Every second was torture, and he doubt that he was going to be saved anytime soon.

Sonic snickered, keeping Amy in his peripheral. "He's confused about his _own_ robot. That's a new low!"

Shadow _had_ to correct him on this. He glanced over his shoulder. "Pink onesie." The image was still burned in his mind.

"…Right. Nevermind."

**Sonic jumped on the back of the mech and opened a panel. He yanked out a bunch of wires, making the robot short-circuit. Eggman lost control, and the robot crashed into the ground. Ink formed a puddle under it.**

**Amy eyed the dark goo warily. "Gross!"**

The pinkette shook her head. "No, _gross_ is reserved only for Meh Burgers." Her nose automatically scrunched in distaste at the thought of those.

**Eggman's hovercraft disconnected from the head of the mech. The doctor glared at the heroes. "Next time, study your cephalopods before we do battle!" He yelled before retreating to the skies.**

**Tails, having landed his plane, walked up to his friends. "Guys, I don't know what happened!"**

**Not happy, Amy put her hands on her hips. "I'll tell you what happened. Your laser almost turned us into robo-fish-food!"**

Knuckles frowned, not appreciating the girl's attitude. "…No it didn't. It almost turned _Sticks_ and _my twin_ into robo-fish-food. And they could have _easily_ gotten out of the way."

"And why is she that mad anyway?" Amy questioned, wondering about her other self. "They still won and no one got hurt!"

"If you can't figure it out, then we definitely can't find an answer, Ames," Sonic uttered, trying to put himself back on her good side.

He knew he failed when she responded with a bright, yet anxiety inducing, grin.

" **Yeah!" Knuckles piped up. "And not the delicious flaky kind!"**

The echidna explosively sighed.

**Tails slumped. "I'm sorry… It malfunctioned!"**

"There's a difference between malfunctioning and simply missing…" Tails mumbled, wanting to defend his twin somehow.

" **Maybe it** _ **didn't**_ **malfunction. Maybe…" Sticks jabbed a finger in the kit's direction. "This isn't even Tails! What if he's one of those sleeper agents? A mole, pretending to be a fox. A fox mole!" She ran up to the kid and tried to take off a mask he clearly wasn't wearing.**

"She is clinically insane." Metal observed.

Eggman glanced over at him. "I'm sure that if you were living, you would be too, Metal."

"Absolutely," half of the room agreed.

" **Ow!" Tails whined. "Quit it!"**

**Sonic hurriedly came up and pushed Sticks away.**

"About time…" Sonic and Tails echoed each other.

" **Hey, leave him alone! He just-"**

" **No, Sonic." Tails sadly cut him off. "They're right! Well, except for Sticks and that whole 'fox mole' thing. I put all of you in danger. I need to go…" He turned and jogged back to his plane.**

**Sonic held out a hand. "Tails, wait!" The kit ignored him and took off, leaving the others. The azure speedster then talked into his communicator. "Tails? You okay, buddy? Tails?"**

**The fox removed his headset, expression growing determined. "I'm not coming back until I fix my Unbolterizer."**

Amy felt her heart crumbling. "His friends are the worst! What in the heck is wrong with them?"

"Sonic had his back, but I guess that wasn't enough…" Tails trailed off, feeling sorry for his double. Sticks was a wild card, but at least Amy and Knuckles shouldn't have been so harsh to him.

Yeah, those three were tied at the bottom of Knuckles' 'favorite character' list. The other Amy had been up in the air, but now she was just as terrible as the other two. "He's just a kid! They didn't have to treat him like dirt."

"Hey Tails." The kit on the floor peered back at a smiling Sonic. "You don't have to worry about us treating you like that! We're your friends through thick and thin!"

"Speak for yourself." Eggman grunted.

"I am impartial," Metal said.

Tails ignored them, returning the smile. "You don't have to remind me! I already know you guys are the best friends ever!" Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy brightened up a bit at that. Then, Tails turned to his floor neighbor. "Even you, Shadow!" Shadow may a little… _out there_ , but Tails considered him a friend too.

Shadow stared at him for a second before focusing back on the television. "I have a reputation to uphold," he lowly whispered, "and you're not helping, kit."

Tails couldn't hold in his snicker.

**Sonic watched the plane disappear before turning to the rest of the group. "Hey guys, do easy on Tails. So he made a mistake! I mean, haven't you ever-"**

"Exactly!" Sonic backed his double up. "They're actin' like they haven't done anything bad _ever!_ "

"Yep, everyone makes mistakes in their lives! Don't you agree Sonic?"

Sonic nodded at Amy's ambiguous question. "Yeah, mistakes that should be _forgiven!_ Right?"

The pinkette purposefully didn't answer him, and Sonic inwardly groaned.

**Before he could finish, the sound of a horn caught their attentions. A colorful truck sped towards the crew and stopped** _**right** _ **before it ran them over.**

**The driver door opened, and Barker revealed himself. "Oh, sorry if I scared you folks! Please…accept my humble apologies!"**

Tails furrowed his brow. "Barker? He's back?" To be honest, he didn't think the other would ever show up again.

Knuckles tilted his head. "And Eggman's hovercraft is nowhere to be found. Told you he sold it."

Eggman was glad the dog was back, because it could possibly mean that Barker was the main villain in this episode. That way, he would get a break from his insufferable twin…until the next one.

**Sonic glared at him. "You almost made us roadkill, pal!"**

" **Oh, a thousand pardons! Allow me to introduce myself." Barker removed his top hand and bowed. "T.W. Barker." He straightened up and put it back on. "Entrepreneur, owner and ringmaster of T.W. Barker's Circus of Wonders!" He gestured to his decorated truck.**

Amy couldn't believe this. "He owns…a circus?"

"Well, his top hat really gives him the look for it," Tails replied.

**Knuckles tilted his head, smiling in excitement. "A circus, huh? Like, with clowns?"**

" **And elephants?" Amy asked.**

" **And art made from corn husks?" Sticks added unsurely. "I have no idea what a circus is."**

"…who makes art out of cornhusks?"

"She does, copy. Use context clues."

**Barker sighed. "Alas, I have none of those. For you see, my performers ate some bad sushi in the last town and have fallen gravely ill. All I have are my two stunt bears."**

**Two depressed bears – one brown and one grey – roller skated into view, clad in colorful suits.**

Knuckles knew exactly where this was going. "It's pretty convenient that he ran into the heroes when he needs people to perform."

Amy pursed her lips. "I mean, if the ringmaster was anyone _but_ Barker, I'd say it'll be fun being in a circus!"

Knuckles begged to differ. "Being told what to do all day and possibly whipped by a crazy man? No thanks."

"…You're no fun at parties."

**Amy looked just as sad. "So, how will you put on a show?"**

**Barker shook his head. "I won't be able to. The children will be ever so disappointed!"**

**The pinkette gasped. "Not the children!"**

Eggman wished that winning against those rodents was as easy as mentioning some charity or some group of slightly disappointed people.

"It's obvious that he's up to nothing good, though!" Sonic gestured at the screen. "Are they seriously about to go along with it?"

Tails was afraid that they were. "The answer's in her expression, Sonic…"

" **Yes, the children!" The dog echoed somberly. "If only I could find some kind-hearted souls to help me keep the magic of the circus alive!"**

**Amy clasped her hands together. "Mr. Barker, you're in luck! We'd be proud to volunteer in your circus!" Beside her, Knuckles and Sticks nodded.**

**Sonic wasn't buying it. "Speak for yourself, Amy. What makes you think that I'd want to perform like some kind of trained animal?" He glanced over at the bears. "No offense." They dismissively shrugged.**

Sonic threw his hands in the air in relief. "Yes! The voice of reason!"

" **Yes, yes, I understand. The training** _ **is**_ **quite rigorous. I-I-" Barker held up a finger. "It's okay if you're not capable!"**

"Oh great." Knuckles let out a disappointed drawl. "That Sonic's going to give in because I know _this_ one would too."

Sonic slumped before giving him a pointed look. "Would not!"

The echidna looked at him right in the eyes. "So you're telling me that if I said that you weren't capable of…I don't know…mowing your entire lawn in under a minute, you wouldn't prove me wrong?"

The hero hesitated.

"My point."

"…I could _totally_ do it, you know."

Metal shook his head. "It is impossible, for-"

"This is an A-B conversation, so C your way out of it, Mets."

"Resulting to elementary phrases, I see."

Sonic simply glared at the bot – _no_ he was not pouting.

**Sonic ran tight circles around a surprised Barker before coming to a stop in front of his friends. He was smirking. "'Capable' is my middle name!"**

**Knuckles blinked. "I thought your middle name was 'The'?"**

Disregarding that question, Tails looked around at the group with a thoughtful frown on his muzzle. He had never thought about this before, but- "Does anyone here have a middle name?"

Knuckles shrugged his shoulders. "You, Amy, and Eggman are the only ones here with proper last names, so you're the one to ask."

The kit could follow that logic. "I don't…Amy?"

She communicated a negative, leaning forward in her seat. "Nope! But if I had one, it would probably be like…daisy or lily or something like that!" Amy turned toward the human. "What about you, Eggman?"

Sonic allowed a grin to grow. "I bet it's something embarrassing stupid like omelet."

Eggman growled. "I _don't_ have a middle name!"

Knuckles snorted. "He has one, but he's just embarrassed to say it out loud. Is it scrambled?"

"Sunny-side?" Amy guessed.

"Hard boiled?" Tails chirped.

Eggman started to count to thirty.

Metal gave him once-over. "Rotten."

"Cracked," Shadow borderline hissed.

Thirty wasn't high enough.

**Sonic paid him to mind. The hedgehog addressed the dog. "Look, I just hope your circus can keep up with** _**me.** _ **I'm in."**

" **Wonderful!" Barker cheered. He then pulled out a remote from his back pocket. After pressing a red button, the third car of his truck opened up and unfolded a circus tent behind the truck. Barker beamed at the heroes. "I'm delighted to have all of you!"**

" **Oh, wait." Sonic suddenly remembered. "There's one more."**

"Don't bring Tails into this!" Amy cried out, wanting him to stay away from the shady dog.

"He's going to save the day. I'm calling it right now." Knuckles predicted. It would make sense for the only one not there to swoop in like a knight in shining armor. Even after most of his friends yelled at him for no reason.

**The hedgie activated his communicator. "Tails, come in. We're joining the circus!" There was no response, to Sonic's bewilderment. He tried again. "Tails? Tails?"**

**The fox was in his workshop, tinkering with his tools. He was working on his invention. After twisting a bolt, he nodded. "That should do it!" He aimed the Unbolterizer at an alarm clock and shot a yellow beam. The laser bounced off the clock and out of an open window.**

**In the evil lair, Eggman was relaxing on his sofa with his TV remote in his hand. The yellow beam struck the device, and it exploded into pieces. Eggman groaned. "Oh, come on! Stupid piece of junk!"**

Chuckles bounced around the room, and even Eggman enjoyed his double's misfortune.

"Should've hit his head." Shadow groused, wondering what would happen if the laser hit something living. He doubted the kid would build something so dangerous, but there was still a chance.

Tails bit his lip. "Shadow, I don't think anyone here would want to see uh…Eggman's brain everywhere."

"You'd be surprised."

"…How tired are you?" He noticed that the other's sense of morality has decreased as time went on.

"Very."

**Tails sighed in disappointment before getting back to work.**

**Back with the other heroes, they were in the circus tent while Barker spoke. "Welcome to the circus! Where your unique abilities will be put on display for the children of the world!" He put a hand on the azure hedgie's shoulder. "Sonic, there's only one creature fast enough to master…"**

**Barker trailed off as he walked up to a purple tarp covering something big. He yanked the covering off, revealing a spherical cage.**

"That is nothing but a glorified hamster wheel," Metal commented.

"Doesn't matter," Knuckles said. "Sonic would still go crazy with it. Right, Sonic?"

"No!"

Heck yeah he would.

" **The Sphere of Fear!" Barker announced, gesturing to it. "A circulous cage with no beginning or end, allowing you to reach unparalleled speeds, all without leaving the center ring!"**

"This doesn't add up though…" Amy pondered aloud. "Only Sonic is fast enough, but Barker couldn't have known that he was going to run into Sonic in the first place!"

"He had to know." Tails responded to her. "Because Barker wouldn't drive his huge truck in the middle of a canyon for no reason."

Amy crossed her arms. "I don't like him."

Knuckles wanted to boost his mood, so he asked with a smirk. "Who do you hate more right now, Barker or Sonic?"

She simply smiled. "Isn't it obvious?"

Knuckles barked out a laugh at Sonic's wary expression.

Mood officially boosted.

**Sonic grinned. "Wicked!" He entered the sphere and spin dashed all around the inside.**

**Barker then approached Knuckles, who was punching a sandbag. "You, my muscular friend, are formidable with your fists." He leaned closer. "But, have you ever thought about using your** _**head?** _ **"**

Eggman inwardly scoffed at that, though his next words were cautious. "That's the same as asking if Shadow ever thought about forgetting about his sporadic homicidal tendencies and-"

"Never going to happen, doctor."

"I figured."

**In the next shot, Knuckles was being fired out of a cannon. He hit his high target with his head before falling to the ground below. The echidna sat up, somewhat cross-eyed. "Using my head! I get it!" He held up a finger, and the target promptly smacked him in the head, causing him to fall over.**

Knuckles actually applauded this time.

**Amy was giddy she regarded Barker. "Oh! Me! What am I gonna be? An acrobat? A lion tamer? A magician performing illusions the likes of nobody has ever seen?"**

"Hopefully she won't be a singing juggler." Sonic snickered before quickly cutting it off, realizing what he said. He _really_ didn't need to add more fuel to the fire. Amy rolled her eyes good naturally, but he saw right through her. He was tired of being on edge. "Ames, why are you waiting so long to-"

"To do what?" she lightly asked. "Why are you acting so weird all of a sudden, Sonic?"

Ooo, she was good.

" **You'll be a sad clown." Barker placed a large purple hat on the girl's head.**

" **Sad clown?!" Amy repeated, offended. "I see what's going on here. You're giving me the lame job because I'm a girl!"**

"Nah, he probably heard her announcing to everyone that she was a crazy pizza man who _also_ juggles and sings."

Metal looked at Knuckles. He couldn't have processed that right. "You cannot be-"

"I'm dead serious."

The robot knew that he had missed a few episodes before he was imprisoned here; however, he didn't mind.

**Sticks appeared in front of them performing backflips. She stuck the landing in the center of the ring and saluted the ringmaster. "I'm ready for my trapeze act, boss!"**

**Amy lowly growled.**

"She should've seen that coming," Amy huffed. Though, it _was_ unfair that Sticks had the amazing act.

**It was night now, and Tails was still in his workshop. "That's it!" he exclaimed. "I didn't use a counter-weight to compensate for changes in velocity! Plus…" He reached inside the Unbolterizer and pulled out a wiggling fish. "This was inside." He threw it away.**

Tails slowly blinked. "Well, there's your problem…" Despite the weird fish appearance, he was glad that his twin fixed his invention. Now he could prove to the others that he wasn't worthless. Though, he shouldn't have to in the first place…

**Back at the circus tent, an audience cheered as Barker introduced his show. "Welcome to T.W. Barker's Circus of Wonders! Tonight, we bring you feats of strength, speed, and agility! The likes of which you have never seen before! Unless you've been to any other circuses. Enjoy!"**

"Don't people see the heroes in action often enough though?" Sonic scratched his cheek. "It shouldn't come to a surprise to them!"

"Everyone is dumb in this dimension, Faker," Shadow reminded. "We've been over this."

**The crowd applauded. The first act was Knuckles being fired out of a cannon, hitting his head on the target above. The villagers cheered, and then Sticks flipped through the air using a trapeze, landing on a platform. Amy on the ground dressed like a clown, walking backwards and juggling bowling pins. After taking a couple of steps, she tripped, causing some pins to hit her on her head. The audience laughed at her.**

**She focused on them, annoyed. "It's not funny, it's sad! You're supposed to sympathize with the sad clown!" Another pin landed on her, and the laugher grew.**

Amy frowned up. "I kinda feel bad for her…"

"Just think of it as revenge for my twin," Tails placated.

She smiled at him. "Thanks, Tails! Because I was feeling bad for feeling bad too."

**Barker announced the next act. "Behold, the Sphere of Fear!"**

**The crowd cheered as Sonic waved his hand inside of the cage. After a second, he spin-dashed along the inside, to the amazement of the spectators.**

**Tails was currently in his plane now. "One final test…" He was flying near Eggman's base, locking onto it.**

**In the lair, Eggman was fixing his remote with a screwdriver. When he was done, he hopped back on his couch and turned on his TV. "Sweet! Just in time for Dancing with the Robots!" A yellow beam then struck the remote a second time, making it fall apart. He was visually distressed. "No! It's the season finale!"**

Sonic chortled. "That never gets old!"

"It already has," Eggman grumbled. "I've seen his face far too many times this episode."

"You must hate looking in a mirror then," both Sonic and Metal said at the same time. They focused on each other. Sonic smirked and the robot produced a scoff.

Eggman had reached a minute now.

**Back at the tent, Sonic was stretching in the spherical cage, and Knuckles had a big lump on his head. "What time does the show start?" he asked, eyes spinning and unfocused.**

**Amy, still in her clown get-up, praised, "Great job, everybody!"**

" **That was a blast!" Sonic agreed, looking at Barker. "We should do it again sometime!"**

" **Yes, you should!" A smirk grew on the dog's muzzle. "And you will!" He suddenly slammed the door to the cage shut, locking it.**

"And…there it is!" Knuckles announced. "I knew it was getting close to the reveal." And this meant that the episode was close to being over, hopefully.

Sonic wasn't worried in the slightest. "He's nowhere near a threat! My twin should be able to bust right through that!"

The echidna wasn't so enthusiastic. "Keyword: _should_."

**Sonic was less than happy. "Hey, what's the big idea?"**

" **Well, you see, my performers aren't exactly sick, they escaped!" He explained with a cocky grin. "So when I heard about your crew, I set up this brilliant trap!" Sonic banged on the door with his fist, and Barker laughed. "And you marks walked right into it!"**

"But he can't _make_ them perform." Tails reasoned. "So he still won't have a functioning circus."

Metal rotated the remote in his hand. "I doubt he thought his plans through. He is no better than the doctor."

Eggman was going to pretend the robot was talking about the show's Eggman and mentally moved on.

**Barker pointed at Knuckles. The two stunt bears grabbed him from behind before tossing the echidna into a nearby cage. A war cry emitted from Sticks as she charged Barker. However, he simply dodged her and caused her to run into the cage next to Knuckles.**

**He locked her in also. "Too late, my feral friend!"**

Shadow wasn't impressed. "They deserve to be caged if it was that easy to capture them."

**Sonic was pulling hard on the door, kicking it too when it didn't budge.**

**Barker smiled at him. "But here's the real prize. It's not easy to catch lightning in a bottle, so I had to special order this bottle from a mutual friend of ours!"**

**A TV appeared on screen with Eggman standing in front of the Sphere of Fear.** _**"The Sphere of Fear, from Eggman industries, is unbendable, unbreakable, unmeltable. And it's all yours for just six easy payments!" He held up a finger. "Plus shipping and handling." He leaned closer to the camera and put a hand next to his mouth, whispering. "That's how we get you."** _

"Huh." Amy squinted her eyes. "It _is_ true that the camera puts on ten pounds."

"That's true…" Tails pursed his lips. "But I think it's more surprising that Eggman knows more about scamming consumers than taking down his enemies."

"Eggy knows _nothing_ about winning battles," Sonic teased, feeling the heat of a certain human's glare. "So I'm not shocked." He turned to Metal. "Got anything to add, partner-in-crime?"

Metal's opticals flashed. "Do not call me that, but yes. I am sure that a Chao could replace the doctor and do a better job."

"Kill 'em with kindness!" Sonic reached over Knuckles to set up a high five. "Gimme some!" Metal didn't move. "C'mon, you can't leave me hangin'!"

"I can, and I will, copy."

Sonic sighed and settled back into the cushions. Couldn't blame a guy for trying.

**Barker snickered until a voice shouted out, "You forgot one thing, Barker!" Amy was scowling at him. "Me!"**

**The ringmaster rose a brow. "Did I? Oh sweet, compassionate Amy Rose, think of the children!"**

**Her expression softened. "The children…" She then snapped out of it. "Wait! That's not gonna work on me this time!" Then, it was revealed that Amy had been stuck in a cage this whole time. She blinked. "So, is this a regional tour, or…"**

Amy couldn't wrap her mind around it. "Wha – How?! That doesn't make any sense!"

Tails floundered for an explanation. "Selective blindness?"

"You're too nice for your own good, Tails," Shadow muttered. Only a complete idiot couldn't figure out that they were already trapped. No need to sugarcoat it especially since he's tired, angry, and _collared_.

**Barker pulled out a remote control. "Oh, and in case you manage to escape, I ordered some of** _**these** _ **as well!" He pressed a button, and five Motobugs surrounded the caged heroes.**

Eggman propped his chin in his open palm, exhaling harshly. "Out of _all_ of the robots…" Barker had to pick the ones that break apart after _one_ hit. His expectations weren't high for this, but he couldn't help but to be disappointed.

**Now the scene switched to Sonic's shack. Tails had landed his plane in front of it and was now entering the small home. "Guys, I fixed the Unbolterizer! It actually works now!" He looked around and realized that no one was there. "Where is everyone?"**

**In the tent, Sonic was trying and failing to find a way out of his round cage. Tails' voice then came over the communicator. "Sonic, you there? Sonic?"**

**Relieved, the blue hedge stood still and replied, "Tails! Man, am I glad to hear from you! That circus creep captured us! We need your help, buddy!"**

**Tails nodded. "Ten-four, blue leader! Help is on the way!"**

"Wait, but…Tails doesn't know anything about Barker!" Amy pointed out, brow furrowed in confusion. "He knew about a circus, but nothing else! He shouldn't even know where the circus is!"

Now _that_ , Tails couldn't begin to explain.

Sonic was focused on something else. "Tails, why don't you ever call me cool names like 'blue leader'?"

The kit gave him a lost look. "Because you're not a leader…?"

Sonic felt like that was a personal attack. "What do you mean? I'm the leader of Team Sonic!"

"Try again," Knuckles deadpanned.

The speedster whirled on him. "What? It's named after me!"

"You named it after _yourself._ " Knuckled taunted, jabbing him in his chest. "With Tails being the brains and me the brawn, you're more like deadweight, Sonic."

Instead of being offended, Sonic teasingly grinned. "Deadweight, huh? Like this?" The hedgehog ragdolled against the echidna, his full body weight thrown over the guardian.

Knuckles struggled to push him off, but Sonic was like a parasite, holding on and not letting go. "Sonic, I'm going to hurt you if you don't-!"

"But I'm a deadweight, remember?"

The echidna growled before pushing harder. Instead of fighting it, Sonic rolled with the shove…literally. He used his body weight to make Knuckles uncontrollably lean forward before crashing to the floor with a yell. Proud of his agility, Sonic managed to cushion his landing with the guardian _under_ him.

While Knuckles regained his bearings, Sonic glanced at Tails and bobbed his head toward the couch. The kit didn't waste any time in making himself comfortable on the sofa.

Sonic smirked at Knuckles, dodging the incoming punch. He hopped to his feet and settled between Tails and Metal. He laughed victoriously at how lost Knuckled seemed. "Not too bad for a deadweight, huh?"

The red Mobian scowled as he pushed himself off the floor, planning on throwing hands. "You-!"

"Save it for later, echidna." Shadow's command was sharp and laced with impatience. "The show is paused."

Knuckles glanced at the TV and saw that Shadow's words rung true. He sent a cheeky Sonic one more glare before sitting between Amy and Eggman. He whispered to his pink neighbor, "Hit him extra hard for me."

She giggled. "Will do!"

**The kit ran back to his plane. The next scene showed him approaching the tent from the sky. "I've got eyes on the big top, Sonic!" he said into his headset before lowering a grappling hook from his plane. It snatched the tent's flag and pulled the whole thing away, revealing the trapped heroes.**

**They were all happy to see him. "Tails!" Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks cried out.**

Shadow wouldn't blame the other Tails if he left them there. He would've done it easily.

" **Get me out of this thing!" Sonic yelled.**

**Tails flew towards three Motobugs, dodging their incoming missiles. He then fired a yellow beam at the base of the Sphere of Fear, but it missed.**

" **Great!" Knuckles groaned. "That thing still doesn't work!"**

"Like your brain," the echidna grunted disdainfully.

**The laser bounced around, hitting a Motobug, Knuckles', Amy's, and Sticks' cages, and finally the base of the round cage. Everything that was targeted broke apart.**

Tails smiled widely. He had been scared for a bit, but his double did it! And now he pondered how the other made one of those…

**Sonic started running in the cage like he was in an oversized hamster ball. "Now** _**this** _ **is wicked!"**

**Barker gestured to his lackeys. "Bears, Motobugs,** _**attack!** _ **"**

**Sonic ran over the small robots with ease. Knuckles, who had gotten back into the cannon, fired himself at the grey stunt bear, pushing the enemy away.**

"A bit of an overkill, but I'll take it!" Sonic chirped, getting into the action.

**Amy was juggling with her left hand as she hammered the robots with her right.**

Amy couldn't deny that she was a little impressed. Talk about coordination!

**Using the trapeze, Sticks swung down and kicked the brown stunt bear right in the face, causing him to crash to the ground.**

**In the air, Tails looked over to see Barker trying to make an escape. "Sonic, he's getting away!" he yelled into his headset.**

**Sonic heard him. He aimed for the sprinting dog. When the time was right, he bursted out of the door of the cage. The opening turned and swallowed up Barker, trapping him inside as it slowed to a stop.**

**Barker was desperate. "Let me out of this infernal cage! I'm an entrepreneur!"**

Knuckles frowned. "Two things. How did Sonic get out if the door's always been locked, and why can't Barker just open the _unlocked_ door?"

"Who cares?" Sonic shrugged with a smile. "He's trapped in something he paid for himself! That's the definition of irony right there!"

"All that matters that that we're almost done with this episode." Eggman grumbled. One more down, too many more to go. He knew that he'd done many bad things in his life, but he honestly believed he didn't deserve this.

**Tails landed the plane by Sonic. The speedster grinned. "That was some sweet flying, buddy!"**

**The kit jumped out of the aircraft as Sticks and Knuckles walked up to him. The echidna smiled. "Yeah, you did good!"**

**Sticks was sheepish. "Sorry for saying you were a double agent. I didn't realize that you were a…" She eyed him. "…** _**triple** _ **agent!"**

**Amy,** _**still** _ **being a clown, chirped. "Yeah, thanks Tails!"**

"At least take off the rainbow wig!" Amy yelled at her other self.

Sonic nudged Tails. "Look at 'em sucking up."

The kit grinned. "I'm sure the other me doesn't mind."

" **Well, I'm just happy I could help." Tails jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "Now, let's get out of here!" Tails and the rest of the crew began to walk away, ignoring the plane for whatever reason.**

"Uh…" Sonic began, questioning their actions. "The plane's right there?"

"Maybe they…" Tails trailed off. "I've got nothing." Again.

" **What? No, no!" Barker shouted. "Wait!" He punched the cage to open it, but it was futile. "You can't leave me here! Come back!"**

**The scene switched to Eggman's lair, which showed Barker's struggles on TV. The human was fixing his remote again, and when it was working once more, he returned to his couch. "Finally, I can turn off this dreck!" He pressed a button, shutting off the screen.**

Eggman released a long-winded sigh. "Those last five seconds were unnecessary." His double didn't need any more screen time.

"You can say that again," Knuckles said, folding his arms across his chest. "But at least-"

The echidna was abruptly cut off by loud knocking on the front door.

Every single head whipped in that direction.

Amy's eyes were wide. "Oh my gosh! Someone's at the door!"

Tails didn't know how to feel. "…But is it real? Or is the _thing_ just messing with us?"

The knocks echoed again.

Shadow would've been at the door if he wasn't unfairly restrained. "Someone just get the damn door."

"I'll get it, I'll get it!" Sonic stood up, wondering who it was, if it _was_ anyone at all. He wouldn't put it past the _thing_ to raise their hopes just to crash them back down. But maybe-

He then found himself smashing into the nearby wall with a throbbing pain in his side. Sonic slumped to the floor in a confused daze, thinking that was the work of the _thing_ , before seeing an oversized hammer laying at his feet.

"Don't worry about it, Sonic! I'll get it!"

…He wasn't even mad. He thought her revenge would be _way_ worse. Like aiming for his head and/or legs worse.

Amy skipped over to the door and was about to pull it open when Knuckles asked behind her, "Wait…can we even _open_ it? We couldn't before!"

"We're about to find out!" Amy grasped the doorknob and turned it. To her surprise, the door opened like some mysterious being hadn't been keeping them all hostage.

She gazed outside, and it was safe to say that they weren't being tricked.

…Unless the thing could make her hallucinate.

That would just be plain cruel.


	14. Chapter 14

Rouge arrived at the scene just as the last ambulance drove off.

She gracefully landed on the pavement of the parking lot, surveying the area. There were a few police cruisers parked in front of the supermarket, and some officers were talking to random citizens by the shattered front doors.

The bat hummed at the traces of blood she saw inside the store as she approached. She knew that this was a serious call, but a tiny part of her was happy about this. Not about the robbery and injuries per se, but about how she got pulled away from mountains of paperwork to take care of this problem.

She had half the mind to go wake Shadow up and have him suffer with her, but she knew that he had gone through the same hell the night before. So, she'd let it slide this time.

"Officers." Rouge greeted the cops with a curt wave, closing the distance.

All of them – there were four – shifted their attention to her, and one returned the greeting with a nod. She figured that it was the guy in charge. "Hello, agent Rouge."

"It's a pretty messy scene we have here." The bat put a hand on her hip, mentally going through the possible reasons why the police department couldn't handle this themselves. "Want to fill a girl in on what happened here?"

The officer adjusted his blue hat, glancing at the two citizens listening quietly. "According to eye witness accounts, it's safe to say that it was an Eggman attack."

Rouge rose a brow at that, a bit dubious. The doctor had been here? Without announcing it to the whole city? "Really? He only targeted the supermarket? Despite what he looks like, I doubt he'd go so far for some candy."

That arose muffled chuckles from the other officers. The one she was talking to remained formal. "I understand if the situation sounds strange. However, we were asking them questions-" He gestured to the bystanders, one male and one female. "-and they told us that a robot did this. The one that looks similar to Sonic."

Rouge blinked in surprise. _Metal Sonic_ did this? And there were no casualties? That robot had been here without any kind of resistance, since there wasn't any sign of Blue or anyone else fighting that violent machine. Something weird was going on here.

"What _exactly_ happened?" she asked, and the officer gestured for the by-standers to speak up.

The man, a brunette, had a comforting arm around the woman. "It happened so fast," he started. "We were checking out when the thing crashed through the front doors like it was nothing. It grabbed a few plastic bags from the check-out station next to ours before flying like a bat out of hell all around the store." The man paused before muttering, "No offense."

Rouge waved him off. "None taken, hon."

The woman picked up where he left off, a little more shaken than he was. "Then…Then by the time it was done, the manager and a few workers realized that none of it was going to be paid for. They tried to stop it, but…" She gazed in the direction the ambulances left.

Rouge didn't know what to make of this. Did Eggman _actually_ rebuild that homicidal robot to go grocery shopping? Or was there some ulterior motive? There had to be, or the doctor had finally gone senile.

The agent glanced around at the mess again before addressing them, "Did you see the direction the robot went, by any chance?"

They both shook their heads. "We had ducked behind a counter," the man explained. "It could've gone anywhere. Sorry."

She couldn't blame them for that. "It's fine. You've been more than a help." Rouge refocused on the cops. "Have you gotten any other calls about the robot in other locations?"

All communicated a negative. "It's been silent," the talkative one responded. "Which is another anomaly."

"You're telling me…" Rouge crossed her arms, thinking. Metal Sonic was back, there had been a strange food-related robbery with injuries, and neither robot nor doctor was seen anywhere.

It was time to pay Shadow a visit, whether he liked it or not.

"Well, I'm definitely on this case, boys." Rouge sent them a grin. "Once I round up the crew, you won't have to worry about another attack." She spread her wings and took flight. "Keep people safe in the meantime, officers!"

"Of course!" was the response.

Rouge kept a sharp eye out as she flew in the direction of Shadow's apartment. It seemed peaceful in Station Square, not another incident in sight.

It wasn't long before she reached her stripe partner's front door. Rouge knocked on it, making sure to be loud enough to rouse the other from his work-induced coma.

She stopped and waited a while, ears perked. There was no movement on the other side.

Her lips twitched downwards as she tried again. "Shadow! You in there, sugar? I know you're getting your beauty sleep, but this is important!"

Still no response.

There was the possibility that Shadow was out somewhere, and she sighed at that thought. Of _all_ the days to use his sleep-is-not-a-necessity trait, it had to be now. After scanning the city for the elusive hedgehog from the skies for a while, she skipped ahead to Plan B.

Which was why she was now standing at Sonic's front door.

Rouge knocked on it a few times, hoping that the blue speedster hadn't gone into hiding as well.

To her relief, the door eventually opened to reveal Amy…in her pajamas. Rouge gave her a once-over, wondering _exactly_ what was happening inside of that home.

Amy brightened, eyes widening. "Rouge!" The pinkette still believed that this was too good to be true though. The bat was standing there, yes, but it could also be the work of the _thing_ , and she had to reel herself back in. "Wait…are you-"

"Did you say Rouge?!"

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles ran up behind Amy, gaining the attention of the surprised bat.

Sonic, still nurturing his bruising side and cursing the existence of a certain small fruit, rose a hand in greeting. "Heya Rouge! What brings ya here?"

"Never mind that!" Knuckles didn't know what to think about that bat showing up. On one hand, they all could potentially be saved, but on the other, it was _Rouge._ "Amy, can you get out?"

Rouge ignored how the echidna didn't acknowledge her presence _this_ time. Instead, she focused on his words. "Get out? As in-"

"I can't!" Amy was trying her hardest to step through the open doorway, but an invisible wall was in her way. She pushed until her arms got tired. Ugh, she just wanted to change clothes. Was that too much to ask?! "It's a wall!"

"Really?" Tails squeezed in the space beside her, soon realizing that she was telling the truth. "But we're so close!"

Rouge didn't think it was possible, but she was even _more_ lost to what was going on. Was she dreaming right now? She _had_ drunk some questionable milk before going to bed last night… "So, all of you are trapped because of some kind of forcefield?"

"You'd think that!" Sonic ran a hand through his quills. "Long story short, we're all stuck here by some magical being that can control everything until we watch episodes of our doppelgangers in another dimension."

Rouge took a few moments to make sure she had heardthat right.

"I had questioned it before as well, agent." Metal added from his spot on the couch, the bat wondering how much of that milk she had drank. "Unfortunately, it is all true."

The culprit of the robbery was just sitting there. Metal Sonic wasn't attacking anyone, and he wasn't a pile of scraps either.

The only answer Rouge had was Eggman. "Uh huh, right. Blue, are you _sure_ that the doctor didn't-"

"Completely sure!" Sonic jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "'Cause Eggy's stuck in here with us!"

"And slowly losing my sanity," the human mumbled loud enough for her to hear.

Rouge's head was spinning somewhat, and she figured that she should look harder for Shadow. "Well, I think that I should get a second opinion. Have any idea where Shadow is?"

All four Mobians pointed behind them.

Rouge peered over their head to find a sulking Shadow sitting in the middle of a confetti covered floor with a collar around his neck.

Despite everything, she couldn't help but to grin. "Wow hon, I didn't think that you were into-"

"Rouge, if you're not here to help, then _leave_ dammit."

She let out a single chuckle before tapping her chin, feeling expectant gazes on her. She had no choice to believe them, whether it was real or a dream. Might as well go with the flow. "Have you tried busting out?"

"We're not dumb, bat!" Knuckles huffed. "That's the first thing we tried!"

"Don't get you're dreads in a knot, Knuckie." She smirked at the embarrassed flush on his face and at the angered grumble before eying the nearest window. "Here goes nothing!" Rouge flew a small distance back and then rushed the pane. She kicked the glass as hard as she could, but nothing happened besides a dull pain in her ankle.

It was safe to say that she wasn't dreaming.

"Maybe…" Tails bite his lip, hating this idea, but they were kinda desperate here. "Maybe you can get us out from the inside?"

According to the bewildered looks he got, everyone else hated it too. "Are you crazy, Tails?" Sonic gestured to all of them. "She'll just be stuck here like us! Think of a better plan! I know you can do it!"

Tails disregarded the last two statements. "It might work though! I mean, Rouge is the only one who wasn't forced here! So maybe the _thing_ can't control her as much?"

Rouge rose a brow. "Is the… _thing_ , the 'magical being'?"

Knuckles frowned at her. "Don't say that like that! We're telling the truth, you know!"

She held up a hand. "I'm not saying that I don't believe you, sugar. It's just hard to swallow."

"I have an idea!" Amy pipped up. She glanced up at the ceiling. "Make Sonic fall over!" A second barely passed before Sonic faceplanted on the floor, groaning. Amy smiled at the bat. "See? No one touched him!"

Yeah, no one touched him, and Rouge was making the hard decision on whether she should potentially endanger herself. Cons: she would get stuck like the rest of them. Pros: she would get stuck like the rest of them, neglecting the rest of her paperwork.

…The decision was easier than she thought.

Rouge stepped closer to the opening. "A girl like me tasks risks every day, and this isn't any different." Actually, it was a _lot_ different, but she could feel the oncoming carpal tunnel and that was a no-go.

The others backed from the door, giving her varying looks. Rouge examined the doorframe for a moment before crossing the threshold with little resistance. She was inside.

The door then slammed behind her.

Rouge whirled around, shocked, but she was more put off by how no one else reacted like she had. "The door-"

Knuckles crossed his arms. "That's pretty normal at this point."

"Try and leave again!" Tails suggested, wanting to test something.

Nevermind Eggman, if there was a chance of Rouge getting _possessed_ , then she might need to finish that paperwork after all.

"Will anything… _attack_ me if I try?" Rouge asked. If the _thing_ they mentioned bruised her face, she was going to sue. It took money to be this high-maintenance.

"Uh…" Tails sent her a not-so-reassuring smile. "No?"

Wonderful. Bracing herself for anything, Rouge tentatively grabbed the door knob and twisted. The door swung opened easily, and nothing stopped her at all from walking outside the home again.

"It…" Knuckles pushed against the invisible shield that was still there for them. "It's _teasing_ us!" He growled and punched the wall, inwardly wincing at the recoil. "This is torture!"

Rouge put a hand on her hip and shrugged. "So it has a twisted sense of humor? That doesn't exactly spell out tort-"

"You haven't been through what _we_ have, experienced what we've _experienced._ I almost have a mental breakdown every fifteen minutes."

Rouge stared at the echidna, and she could tell he was dead serious. Sonic was also nodding behind him.

She had no idea what had been happening in there, but maybe she should end it before someone ended up in a straitjacket.

Rouge grinned as she sauntered back inside, the door again dramatically slamming behind her. "Try and stay sane until I save the day, hon." She focused on the same window she attacked on the other side and delivered another powerful kick.

Nothing.

Eggman buried his head in his hands on the couch. "I _knew_ that it wouldn't work, and yet, I'm still disappointed."

Sonic went over and sunk into his seat. "Ugh, this _blows._ "

"I know!" Amy whined and attempted to claim the spot in between Sonic and Metal, but the azure speedster had grabbed the kit's arm and yanked him unceremoniously on the couch. Amy huffed as she sat on the couch shared with Eggman before blinking. Was Sonic… _scared_ of her now? Hopefully not. She'd hit him harder in the past. "We think we get a chance, but nope!"

Knuckles retook his seat between her and the sulking doctor. He grumbled, "But it is really surprising? Giving what we're dealing with?"

"Guess not…"

Rouge stared at all of them. "…That's it? You're giving up just like that?" Maybe they had _already_ gone crazy.

"Trying any more would be a waste of time and effort, agent," Metal responded.

Sonic nodded. "Yeah, what he said!"

The bat narrowed her eyes at the robot. "Speaking of him, why isn't he in pieces yet, Blue?"

"Because he's good now!"

Rouge waited for someone, _anyone_ , to argue that, but no one did. Even Shadow, who was glaring up at a _huge_ TV hanging on the wall. It was a nice addition to the quaint home, but she digressed. "…Good?" She was already tired of being confused. "The only reason I came here was to get you to track Metal down. He robbed a supermarket and sent _multiple_ people to the hospital."

Everyone, except her, shared a knowing look.

Now that was disconcerting.

Sonic chuckled uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, ya see, that was _kinda_ our fault…"

"But you can't really blame us though!" Tails opposed. "We are out of food and _starving_ , and Metal apparently could get us some food!"

"Attacking people was totally on him, though." Knuckles added flippantly.

Metal did the robot equivalent of a shrug. "They were in my way."

Sonic had a concerned frown on his muzzle. "Uh…no one _died_ right?"

"No, and again…" Rouge emphasized. "Why is the robot still here _?_ "

"Because if we destroy him, he may not come back and we'll be stuck in this hellhole forever." Shadow explained curtly, a frown marring his muzzle.

Rouge gave the striped hedgie a once-over, noticing how tired he was. "How long have you been in here?"

"Since this _morning._ "

Rouge wondered if Shadow contributed to the torture because a tired Shadow wasn't a happy Shadow. "There's probably a bed _somewhere_ in here you could use-"

"No I _can't_ because if I sleep, the stupid show would pause and elongate our stay here even _more._ "

Rouge pursed her lips. _A stupid show…?_ She turned to Sonic. "Is this 'show' about what you said?"

"Us in an alternate reality?" Sonic finished before chirping. "Yep!"

"When will it be over?"

Amy answered, "Hopefully tonight!"

They had to spend another half a day together cooped up in this house? Rouge didn't mind her friends, but even she had a limit. Although, seeing what the show was about for a little while wouldn't hurt.

And then she would find a way to blow the roof off this place.

"Well, since I have a little down time…" Rouge went over to Shadow and sat down next to him. The floor was cushioned by the mysterious confetti. "I have to know what the _thing_ is making you watch." She then pointed to the striped hedgehog's leash. "Why-"

"Don't ask."

Knuckles went rigid at her words. "What? Why in the hell would you _want_ to stay here? Go get us help!" She couldn't say here. If she saw the other him…oh _no._

Rouge waved him off. "Calm down, Red. I'll do it after I watch an episode. You've lasted this long, right?" She smirked. "And plus, it's either stay here or see how that _unattended_ Master Emerald beauty is doing."

Knuckles clenched his fists and pointedly looked away.

Sonic, seeing his window of opportunity of revenge, made a whipping noise with his mouth.

The echidna's cheeks were red with anger.

Eggman ignored the teasing going on and addressed the bat, "Rouge, if you could not make fun of me while you're here, I would appreciate it." It didn't hurt to bring it up.

Before she could respond, Metal said, "It is easier to degrade you than not, doctor."

"Huh." Rouge's lips twitched upwards. "I have to say, the robot has a point."

Eggman groaned and accepted his fate.

Metal pressed play on the remote, and Knuckles got a glimpse of the title: 'Unlucky Knuckles'. That accurately described his life right now.

**The scene opened up in a grassy field with scattered rocks, trees, and bushes.**

" **Yeah! Who's gonna take it downtown?" Knuckles' cheery voice filled the air as he placed a golf ball on a green tee. The echidna straightened up and pointed to himself, grinning at Sonic who was beside him. "Knuckles, that's who! Gonna pour Sonic a hurt-tonic! And the pain is gonna be chronic!"**

Knuckles heard Rouge's giggle, and he ran his hands down his face, feeling the second-hand embarrassment. Or was it first-hand? Because his twin didn't _care._

Rouge leaned back on her palms, loving her decision to stay already. "Now that's a great first impression if I've ever seen one." She took in the sports tape, the disproportionate body, and the lack of shame. Steroids had to be involved somehow. "He's _adorable._ "

"Adorable?!" Knuckles gaped. "He is _not_ adorable! Just wait! He's as dumb as a rock, no one likes him, and-!"

Sonic rose a brow at the echidna, grinning. It was time to see if Knuckles could take what he had dished out. "Why are you gettin' so defensive, Knux? It was just an observation! Wha…are you getting _jealous?_ "

The glare aimed his way was more flabbergasted then enraged. "Jealous?! I'm _not-_ " Knuckles saw Sonic's sly expression, and something in him clicked. He borderline snarled. "I know what you're doing! Stop it!"

Rouge peered back at them amused. She didn't know the context of this, but that didn't mean that she couldn't jump in. "What is he doing, Knuckie? Care to explain?"

"Yeah, Knux," Sonic said innocently. "Wanna explain? 'Cause I have no idea."

"I hate the both of you."

**Sonic deadpanned as he palmed a coin. "Okay, we get it." He flipped it in the air.**

**Before the hedgehog caught it again, Knuckles shouted, "Tails!" He shifted his attention to the fox standing by his other side. "Tails, you flip it." The red anthro held up a hand to hide his mouth from Sonic, whispering, "Not sure if I trust this guy…"**

Tails frowned up at that. "I guess my twin should feel flattered?"

Shadow scoffed. "He shouldn't. They should ignore everything the echidna says."

Rouge peered over at the black hedgehog. "Isn't that too harsh, hon? Sure, he doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed, but-"

"You'll see."

"You can't just leave her with that," Knuckles cut in, determined to get her to hate his double like they all did. "My twin can't read, makes meat hand puppets, irritates everyone he's friends with, and just isn't competent."

Rouge struggled to accept that as true, but then again, no one said otherwise. She hummed, a smirk growing once more. "So he's just an illiterate you, then."

Sonic, Tails, and Amy covered their mouths, hiding their mirth.

Metal glanced at the frozen echidna. "Do you require any aloe or burn cream, guardian?"

Yeah, homicidal tendencies aside, the bot wasn't that bad in Rouge's eyes.

Shadow shook his head in exasperation, and Eggman was just glad he wasn't the butt of the jokes yet.

Knuckles started to see red. He jabbed a finger in Rouge's direction. "I am _nothing_ like him!" he spat like she had just danced on his ancestors' graves. "I _can_ read, my friends tolerate me – Sonic, shut up – and _I don't make meat hand puppets!_ "

She shrugged. "We don't know what you do on that island."

"She kinda does have a point, Knuck-"

"No, Tails! You stay on _my_ side!"

**Sonic groaned, exasperated, before tossing Tails the coin. The kit flipped it high, and Knuckles called out, "Heads!" Tails caught the coin and put it on his wrist, showing the others. Knuckles blinked before grumbling in anger, eying Sonic. "Lucky…"**

"I always bet on tails!" Sonic chuckled before ruffling the kit's bangs, who was smiling too.

**Sonic then threw the ball into the air before hitting it with his club. The ball flew over to a rock structure, sinking perfectly into the flagged hole. Apparently, there was a tunnel connecting the hole to the starting point, for it wasn't long before the ball popped up into the air and into Sonic's awaiting palm. His grin was smug as he glanced at the echidna.**

"That was pretty impressive!" Amy commented.

"But isn't that cheating?" Tails asked after playfully pushing Sonic away. "I mean, he swung like in baseball when they're clearly playing golf."

Sonic scoffed. "Do you really think that Knuckles is gonna call him out for it?"

"Good point."

**Knuckles frowned, clenching a fist. "Don't give me that look!" He then went over to the ball on the tee and swung at it, launching the sphere off the ground. The ball landed near the hole on the rock and was slowly rolling towards it, but a falling leaf blown by the wind veered it off course.**

Almost everyone in the room felt the unfairness of that.

"I can already tell that he isn't going to take that well," Rouge predicted. "Especially if he has the same temper of the echidna we all know."

"Rouge, if you don't leave, I'll _make_ you."

"Don't make threats if they end up empty, honey."

Knuckles scowled to himself, disregarding Sonic's split-face grin. He was going to punch it off one day.

**Tails held up a finger. "One, nothing, Sonic!"**

" **Oh, come on!" Knuckles was clearly frustrated. "You saw the wind blew that, right?" He placed another ball on the tee and went for a second swing. The ball soared right for the hole before hitting a group of birds. "What?!" he yelled.**

Amy cringed. "Okay, this is probably the first time I've ever empathized with him…"

Sonic smirked. "See? Even the universe says that Sonic the hedgehog always reigns supreme."

"Or he's just having really bad luck?" Tails suggested.

"Nah."

" **You gotta factor in bird migration," Sonic informed with a smirk. "That's Gopherball 101."**

Rouge smiled. "It's nice to know that you two aren't that different, Blue." If he had changed like Knuckles had, she wouldn't be able to be witty, for she'd be too busy laughing.

"Tails and his twin are kinda the same too!" Amy informed, leaning forward in her seat. She then frowned a bit. "But Knuckles' and my double are kinda eh…"

Rouge rose a brow. It had hard seeing the pinkette as anything else than a confident, outgoing, trustworthy friend who had stalker tendencies. "What's she like?"

"She's a singing and juggling clown who also dabbles in psychiatry."

The bat, for once, was speechless.

Sonic snickered. "The clown part isn't really true."

Rouge eventually found her words. "Like, the _whole_ clown part or-"

"She's sung and juggled multiple times," Amy said, puffing her cheeks. "Just be lucky that you haven't witnessed it!"

Rouge didn't know what to do with that information, so instead, she regarded Shadow, "What about you, sugar? What's your double like?"

The striped hedgehog's mood darkened at the reminder that his other self _still_ hadn't made an appearance. "I wouldn't know."

Rouge furrowed her brow. "You've been here since this morning, and you haven't seen him yet?" Honesty, she was surprised that the hedgehog had retained his composure for this long. Well, Shadow _had_ a leash restraining him, so she might've missed something.

Shadow glowered. "No, but when I do, I hope he and all of the other idiots in that dimension die a horrible death. It's _their_ fault I'm here suffering."

Rouge glanced behind at the blue robot, determining that the other was reaching dangerous levels of drowsiness. "Did you manage to steal any coffee, by any chance?"

Metal focused on her. "No. My databases had informed me that the caffeinated drink is not necessary for consumption."

Tails furrowed his brow. "Neither are cookies, and you still got them…"

"More organic beings enjoy cookies than coffee. Also, the Ultimate Lifeform had torn me apart on multiple occasions. He does not deserve coffee."

Shadow's growl was feral. "You damned _glorified toaster!_ If I wasn't collared right now-"

Metal interrupted him, facing Eggman. "Doctor, this is the only time I appreciate your previous actions. You should question his identity more often."

"If he does, I'll tear his throat out."

Well, Rouge solved the leash mystery. She sent the doctor a look before standing up and walking up to him. The human was staring at her with a confused frown. "What are you-"

A sharp slap filled the air, and Rouge didn't mind the subtle sting in her palm. She peered over her shoulder at an observing Shadow. "That good, sugar?"

Shadow eyed her and then the gaping human with a handprint on his cheek before smirking. "Do it again."

Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles all flinched at the loud smack, reminding themselves to never get on her bad side.

"How about now?" Rouge asked, disregarding Eggman who was trying and failing to disappear into the couch cushions.

Shadow rather wished she had done it with a baseball bat or something similar, but beggars couldn't be choosers. "I feel marginally better." When Rouge returned to his side, the collar around his neck poofed away. He heard Eggman intake a sharp breath as he felt around his throat.

Rouge grinned, not expecting that. "You're welcome, hon."

Shadow glanced at the nervous Eggman before silently shifting his gaze to the TV. He wasn't going to do anything. He was going to pull a Rose and let the human's paranoia eat him alive. Then he'd get his full revenge on both Eggman and Metal when they were set free.

A perfect plan, really.

Eggman hated his own mouth. It did him more harm than good. His cheeks aflame with pain, he threw a question at the yellow kit, "Ice?"

Tails simply pointed to the kitchen, almost feeling sorry for him.

**Knuckles growled and swung at another ball. This time, it landed behind the hole. The echidna tried again and again, missing completely and breaking the flag pole at one point, until tiring himself out.**

Sonic scoffed. "Okay, at that point, he's just _proving_ that my double's better than him! Just like how it is here, huh Knux?"

Knuckles narrowed his eyes as Eggman returned to his seat, cradling his head in the two ice packs he made. "Really? Want to swim laps around Angel Island, then?"

"That doesn't count, and you know it."

" **That's** _ **totally**_ **unfair!" Knuckles panted out.**

**Sonic was now relaxing in a beach chair, enjoying some juice in a coconut. Tails was by him. The fox shrugged at the echidna's exclamation. "Maybe you need to work on your swing."**

**Knuckles was appalled. "You kidding me?! It has nothing to do with my swing! It has everything to do with** _**luck!** _ **"**

"More like luck influenced _half_ of his swings." Amy cocked her head. "Did he forget already how he swung like a crazy person a minute ago?"

Rouge snorted. "Knuckles here always forgets facts to prove a point. It's nothing new, Pinky."

When the echidna groaned in despair, Amy patted him on the back sympathetically. "Sorry! I _honestly_ didn't mean to set that up for her," she said while keeping any form of amusement out of her tone. It was hard.

**Sonic and Tails simply stared at him, amused.**

**The echidna grumbled before taking another shot at the hole. The ball stopped midair when it got close, dropping to the grassy ground.**

"That is not possible," Metal stated the obvious.

"Something weird _is_ kinda going on…" Tails pondered aloud.

Sonic hummed to himself. "This might sound a little crazy, but what if they had a _thing_ too that was controlling them? 'Cause a ball freezing midair like that isn't normal."

Tails shook his head. "It can't be because they have free will."

"Oh yeah, you're right."

**Knuckles threw a tantrum and hurled his club in a random direction. It landed cleanly in the hole. He screamed.**

Deep down within Knuckles – and he meant deep like _emotional poems_ deep – he might feel a bit bad for his twin, because that was-

"Aw." Rouge cooed. "He needs a hug."

And the feeling's gone.

**Later, Knuckles was stomping around in a garden as Amy and Sticks watched on.**

Rouge stared at the brown badger, wondering if she got _all_ her clothes from the middle of a jungle. "Who's she?"

"Irrelevant," Shadow muttered.

"She's Sticks!" Sonic actually answered her question. "She's apparently part of their group. And it's funny, because she's the perfect mix of Knux, Shads, and Charmy!"

The bat thought about that for a minute while the echidna and striped hedgie gave Blue death stares. "So she's often paranoid, prone to attack, and hyperactive?"

Sonic smiled. "Nailed it on the head!"

Knuckles and Shadow was glaring at her now.

" **Knuckles," Amy started. "I see you're upset, but-"**

**The echidna stopped in front of the pinkette, pointing at her. "Don't bother trying to get me to talk about my feelings."**

_Ah,_ Rouge thought. _She does dabble in psychiatry._

" **Actually, I was gonna try to get you to stop killing my grass," she said, glancing down at the trampled blades.**

**Knuckles ignored her, ranting, "Sonic the Luck Monkey beat me in Gopherball by getting totally lucky!"**

Sonic blinked. "Luck Monkey? That's-"

"What I'm calling you from now on," Eggman interjected, readjusting the packs and sighing at the sensation.

"But-"

"Shut it, monkey."

Metal had to step in. "You should stay quiet as well, rodent," he said to the human, remembering Eggman's own definition of the word.

Eggman gnashed his teeth. "Says the _toaster._ "

Metal's eyes flashed, but he stayed quiet.

**Amy tilted her head. "I thought you didn't want to talk about your feelings?"**

" **I don't!" Knuckles opposed loudly. "I just wanna yell!"**

Knuckles completely ignored Rouge's playful gaze.

**The hedgehog softened her voice as she stepped closer to him. "We all get into a slump now and then…"**

**He frowned. "I'm not in a** _**slump.** _ **"**

**A lopsided grin grew on her muzzle. "Oh really? How many times have you lost to Sonic this week?"**

**Knuckles began to count on his fingers before he realized what he was doing. He clenched his fists. "I told you, I don't want to talk about this!"**

Sonic bust out laughing. "So, it's safe to say that this episode is just gonna be about him, and I'm _loving_ it so far!"

Rouge rose a brow at the grumbling echidna. "Is your double why you almost have a mental breakdown every fifteen minutes?"

"The _sole_ reason."

"How? It's like getting mad at a frustrated puppy."

"One I'd like to _kick._ "

Beside him, Amy gasped. "Knuckles? You'd kick a puppy?!"

Tails shook his head. "That's a low blow…"

Knuckles wished that Rouge never shown her face.

" **Maybe…" Sticks decided to speak up, sitting down on a nearby bench. "There is a disturbance in the luck balance of the universe!"**

" **That can happen?" Knuckles asked before pouting, "Stupid universe…"**

Rouge's smug grin dropped a bit at that. What _exactly_ was that badger on, and yeah, the echidna was on the dumber side of the spectrum, but he _really_ believed that? "…Wow."

Knuckles pounced at this opportunity. "Yeah! See! He _isn't_ adorable!"

Sonic linked his hands behind his head. "You're still hooked on that, Knux?" The smirk was heard in his voice. "Calm down a little, yeah?"

Instead of scowling like he thought Knuckles would do, the echidna mirrored his smirk. "I'll calm down as soon as you follow in your twin's footsteps and admit your feelings to Amy here."

Sonic suddenly had the strong urge to curl up into a tight ball.

The pinkette perked up. "Yeah! The other Sonic's already done it! And do it _for real_ this time! No fake dates!"

Sonic paid close attention to her hands, hoping that a hammer didn't pop up. "Amy, I-I don't-"

Rouge figured that she'd save him because why not. "What did Knuckie mean by 'follow in your twin's footsteps'?" Sonic's appreciation was palpable as well as Knuckles' disappointment. "Are the other Sonic and Amy a thing?"

"Yes!" Amy chirped while Sonic shook his head frantically. "They go on real dates and everything! Unlike Sonic, who thinks that giving out small fruits is okay!"

Rouge met the azure hero's gaze again.

Before she said anything, he admitted, "Yeah, I learned that was a mistake."

"Never underestimate a woman's wrath, Blue."

Eggman could vouch for that.

**Sticks stood back up, explaining, "What you need to do is burn through the rest of this losing streak by bringing yourself as much bad luck as you can as fast as you can to speed up shifting the luck balance of the universe back the way it was before this all happened."**

The single thought of _What?_ was shared by all in the room.

**Knuckles and Amy shared a silent look.**

**Sticks nodded. "Yeah, that's right. You heard me."**

" **Shift the luck balance of the universe?" Amy repeated dubiously. "Really?"**

" **I am** _ **so**_ **there," Knuckles uttered confidently.**

Knuckles rubbed his temples. "Of course…" he mumbled under his breath. Why _wouldn't_ he be?

"Where did she even _get_ that from?" Tails couldn't wrap his head around that nonsense. "Believing in luck is one thing, but the luck balance of the universe?"

"Maybe we blamed the wrong person about being on questionable drugs," Shadow said, crossing his arms.

**The scene changed to the red anthro standing in a canyon. He was looking up a rock wall. "I can't believe I've never thought of this before!" Knuckles promptly punched the stone in front of him, causing a large rock above to fall and crush him.**

Tails slowly blinked. "…What?" _That's_ his answer to the situation?

"Why can't he just step under a ladder?" Amy proposed.

Rouge nodded, figuring that the double was the one who needed a leash. And supervision at all times. "Or break a mirror?"

"Or paint Blaze black and tell her to walk in front of him?" Multiple pairs of confused eyes landed on Sonic. He shrugged. "I'm just throwing out ideas that _he_ would think of."

**Next, Knuckles approached the edge of a deep crater. "When the luck balance of the universe shifts against you, just get it all over with as quickly as possible to shift it back!" He spread his arms out and threw himself in the gaping hole.**

"But that's not bad luck…he's just hurting himself!" Tails exclaimed, biting his lip worriedly.

"Well, not badly…somehow." Knuckles observed, seeing how his twin basically brushed that heavy rock off like it was no problem. He should at _least_ have a concussion.

"Are his acquaintances not cognizant of this?" Metal questioned. "Or do they not care?"

"Could be either, honestly," Knuckles lowly uttered.

" **It's like one of those things when you hear it, you're like 'Duh! It's so obvious!'" He crashed into the ground, creating a shallow hole himself.**

**He clumsily climbed out of it and made his way to a convenient cannon. Knuckles climbed into it and aimed himself upwards. "Plus, it plays to my strengths of taking horrible-" He was shot out of the cannon, leaving a smoke trail in the sky. "-painful-" Knuckles slammed into a tree, startling Amy and Tails who were having a picnic. "-brutal punishment…"**

If the rest of the episode was this, Shadow honestly wouldn't mind.

**The echidna slid off the plant and plummeted to the ground. The impact loosened a beehive above his head. It fell and broke against him, releasing the angry bees. He tried to swat them away. "Ah! I can almost feel my luck changing already!"**

"Sticks wants to kill him," Tails said bluntly, his eyes wide. "That's the only explanation!"

Sonic barely stifled a chuckle. "Wouldn't put it past her!" Though his other friends wouldn't allow that, right?

Amy was a little more upset. "So he's getting attacked by bees, and the other me and Tails aren't doing anything?"

"Bees _do_ sting, Pinky." Rouge reminded. "They're a hassle to deal with, and unlike in this dimension, that Knuckles can take a bit of pain, so he's good."

Knuckles scowled. "Did you _have_ to-"

"Yep."

**Now Sonic was shown reading a book in a chair near his shack. It wasn't long until he noticed Knuckles approaching. He threw the book away, sitting up. "Oh man, Knuckles. You okay?"**

**The echidna walked up with bruises and bandages littering his body.**

Tails winced. " _Man,_ those bees were mad."

" **Am I okay? Are** _ **you**_ **okay, you mean?" Knuckles flicked Sonic's nose. "Or are you too nervous about the Gopherball beatdown heading your-" Knuckles doubled over as he coughed, wincing at the pain. His wheezes were shallow until the attack ended. His voice was strained. "Give me a minute! It's hard to trash talk with a punctured lung…"**

"Okay, jokes aside, _someone_ needs to put him on house arrest, or somethin'." Sonic absently tapped his foot on the ground, thinking that it was a matter of time before he got seriously hurt. "Hopefully my twin will talk to him and say that Sticks is the _last_ person you should get advice from."

**Sonic gave him a once-over, concerned. "Looks to me like you're not in much condition to play** _**anything.** _ **"**

"There's a reason that he and Tails are the best ones on the show," Knuckles commented.

Rouge realized that she forgot to ask about a specific character. "Speaking of them…" She shifted her attention to the silent human nursing his rosy cheeks. "What's your twin like, doctor? I'm _sure_ he's shown up by now."

Eggman's tone was unamused, hating that the bat had such a good arm. "He's horrible, and I don't need to go into detail because I'm certain he'll show his terrible face later."

Metal spoke up. "You just insulted your own face, doc-"

"I'm fully _aware_ , Metal." Eggman's frown was deep until he regarded Rouge again, expression almost pleading. "Rouge, if you help me restart Met-"

She shooed him off. "Leave me out of whatever ridiculous plan you're thinking of, doctor. It probably won't work anyway."

Eggman fumed.

**Knuckles barked out a laugh. "Ha! You only** _**think** _ **I'm not in much condition to…" He paused to think. "…whatever you said!" Knuckles crossed his arms. "But, in fact, I finally tipped the luck balance of the universe back in my favor!"**

"But how does he know that?" Amy questioned. "He hasn't done anything that turned out _good_ for him!"

"His mind is an enigma not even _he_ understands."

"Is that a new vocabulary word, Knux? Good job!"

"Sonic, don't be surprised if I end up strangling you."

**He began to stroll away. "Your lucky streak is over, Sonic! Brace yourself, my friend, 'cause there's nothing but sunny skies ahead for this-" He was interrupted by a refrigerator crushing him.**

**The door of the fridge opened to show a dazed echidna.**

Both Tails and Amy flinched like they had been hit, and Rouge wondered _exactly_ how hard the echidna's head was to go through a refrigerator like that.

**The scene changed to show Eggman's lair.**

Eggman was highly upset that his words had rung true. He had the sliver of hope that he _wouldn't_ show up, but it's stupid to do that at this point.

**Inside the base, Eggman was walking with a glowing vest on. "Even with a mind as powerful as mine, it's important to keep the reflexes honed." He turned to the robots he was talking to, holding a pair of laser guns. Orbot was wearing a Sonic mask while Cubot was wearing a Tails one.**

Sonic and Tails glanced at each other. "Yeah, because that's not weird at all," the former uttered.

" **That's why you robots will serve as my opponents in this training exercise." He tossed his helper bots the rays and shouted, "On your marks, get set…"**

**Eggman ran forward while shooting before saying, "Go!"**

"Not seeing many differences," Rouge hummed.

"There are _plenty_ of differences!" Eggman argued. "You just haven't encountered them yet!"

Shadow glanced at him before telling Rouge, "They're the exact same."

She smiled. "Yeah, I figured."

Eggman wanted to hurl his ice packs, but he realized that he needed them and that Shadow was a lit fuse.

**He and his machines fired at each other, and the doctor soon ended up trapped in a corner by a couch. He ducked behind it and shot randomly, not hitting anything. The robots stopped attacking, looking at each other in confusion.**

"Can't even hit still targets!" Sonic sent a grin the human's way. "You gotta feel some kind of empathy, yeah?"

Eggman threw his ice pack, and it missed the hedgehog's head by an inch.

Sonic palmed and tossed it up and down. "Glad you proved my point! And you're not gettin' this back, by the way."

The doctor grumbled angrily to himself.

**Eggman then stood back up, and all of the guns were instantly aimed at him.**

**He floundered in frustration before exclaiming, "Ow! Someone's stepping on my mustache!"**

**The bots searched for the culprit until Orbot spoke up. "Wait…No one's stepping on your-"**

**Using this distraction, Eggman ran past the robots, dodging their lasers.**

Metal desired to incinerate every single one of those idiotic tin cans. "They are nothing but a waste of space."

Sonic snickered. "Careful Metal, you might be a waste of space too."

"If I am actually a toaster, then I will still be more useful than those failures. My toast would be perfection."

Rouge opened her mouth to ask, but then she figured that it was an inside joke she wouldn't be able to get. So instead, she pondered aloud, "I wonder if I'll eventually show up." If she did, then the TV _better_ capture all of her curves perfectly.

Tails tapped his chin. "I don't think so…You can leave willingly, and you weren't teleported here like the others were."

Knuckles, Eggman, Shadow, and Amy all muttered, "Lucky…"

**However, he didn't get far for he tripped over his own feet, crashing to the floor. Upon impact, his ray shot a laser in the machines' direction, hitting all of them.**

**Orbot pushed up his mask. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say there was a shift in the luck balance of the universe.**

**Sitting up, Eggman hummed to himself, grinning evilly.**

Tails shook his head in exasperation. "Oh boy…"

Eggman desperately wanted to hurl his other ice pack at his twin hard enough to knock some sense into him.

**Back with Knuckles, he was standing in the middle of a meteor shower at that same crater as before.**

"It seems like the world _itself_ wants to get rid of all the idiots." Shadow pointed out. "This is the second violent shower we've seen."

**The echidna was walking along the bottom of the crater, hands held high. "Come on, meteors! Take your best shot!"**

" _Please_ do," Knuckles encouraged.

Amy nudged him. "I'd rather _not_ see a dead body, thank you!"

"I used to think that too."

**Tails, Sonic, and Amy were standing up by the edge. The pinkette pointed to Knuckles, addressing Sonic, "We've got to do something! He's going to hurt himself!"**

"Go down there yourself and drag him outta there!" Amy yelled like her twin could hear her. She'd been through much scarier things than meteors! That onesie was _terrifying._

" **What do you suggest we do?" Sonic asked, coming up with blanks.**

" **You could lose to him on purpose," Tails suggested.**

Sonic scoffed. " _Pfft_. As if!"

**There was a pregnant pause. "What else you got?"**

Sonic was glad he and his double were on the same wavelength.

**Sonic looked at the two for other options; they didn't have any. The speedster sighed. "I'll talk some sense into him. Leave it to me."**

**Sonic dropped down and jogged to Knuckles' side. "Knux, you're wasting your time with this luck stuff. I've been beating you lately entirely due to skill."**

"As always!"

Knuckles could think of _multiple_ occasions when that wasn't true, but he knew that bringing them up was nothing but a waste of breath. Sonic wasn't going to change anytime soon.

" **Luck!" Knuckles argued.**

" **Skill!"**

" **Luck!"**

" **Skill." Sonic walked away a bit. "Like the way I beat you in this argument just now."**

Rouge's lips curled at that. "Ooo…I like the sass there."

"I know! Isn't it dreamy?"

"I wouldn't go that far, Pinky."

**Knuckles wasn't going to give up, glaring. "You didn't win yet because I'm still saying the word 'luck'!" He shouted. "Luuuuuccccckkkk!"**

**He then was slammed by a plummeting meteor.**

**Amy facepalmed.**

**Sonic leaned against the rock. "Can we discuss this somewhere else?"**

"Are those things made out of Styrofoam or something? Like seriously?" Tails was pulling at his whiskers. It wasn't like he _wanted_ the other Knuckles to get hurt, but did physics take a vacation? Or did it abandon that dimension entirely?

**In the evil base, Eggman was sitting at his desk, talking to his helper robots. "Sonic and his friends always defeat me by the slimmest of margins-**

Rouge couldn't hold in her laugh. "Somehow, I doubt that, given how he and _this_ Eggman are one in the same."

Sonic chuckled. "Yeah, they both _love_ to exaggerate even though they both lose every fight. Weird how they do that, huh?"

"Very, Blue. It's a real mystery." Rouge peered at the doctor, who was glaring at the screen. "Want to explain why, doctor?"

Eggman growled. "Can't you just focus on the echidna and leave me alone?!"

"Oh don't worry, I'll get back to him in a bit."

Knuckles inwardly groaned.

**-but with the luck balance of the universe shifted entirely in my favor, there's never been a better time to attack!"**

**Orbot and Cubot shared a confused look.**

" **So, let us attack** _ **this**_ **instant!" He emphasized, "With everything we got! Bring the Mega…"**

Amy pursed her lips. "Was that supposed to be intimidating?"

Sonic nodded. "Yeah, but we're so used to it meaning nothing that it doesn't faze us."

"That makes sense!"

Eggman wondered if excessive anger had negative effects on someone's health. Because if so, he might need to see a doctor after this.

**There was another scene switch. Amy and Tails were running into Stick's burrow.**

**When they entered, Amy commanded, "Sticks, you gotta help us make Knuckles stop right away! He's gonna get hurt!"**

**The badger put down her banjo. "Not if he shifts the luck balance of the universe in time."**

Tails threw his hands in the air. "She says it like she's talking about the weather!"

"In her insane mind, that kind of nonsense _is_ as mundane as the weather," Knuckles huffed.

**Tails tilted his head. "And what if he doesn't?"**

**Sticks tapped her chin as she approached. "I guess he'll probably be eaten by a carnivorous plant and slowly digested over a period of weeks or months."**

**Amy looked at her strangely. "Annnd we agree that's not good, right?"**

**Sticks shrugged. "I could think of worse, but I have confidence in him."**

"So…she's a sociopath." Rouge concluded.

"She needs to be in a straitjacket at the bottom of a lake."

"Shadow, I'm getting you coffee when this episode is over."

"That would be appreciated."

**Tails frowned, a little angered. "Confidence in a guy who believes your** _**crazy** _ **theory?"**

**The badger growled. "Did you just call my theory crazy?!"**

"Yes, yes he did!" Tails exclaimed while clapping, proud of his double.

**At the crater, the shower was still going on.**

**Sonic was pulling Knuckles free from the meteor that landed on him. "So Knux, I was kinda hoping we could get you to stop this nonsense before an asteroid pulverizes you into baby food. Any suggestions?"**

**Knuckles looked at him. "Admit that** _**luck** _ **is the only reason you've been beating me all this time."**

Sonic rolled his eyes. He didn't know if that echidna was ignorant or in denial.

**Sonic grinned. "How about we have a rematch right now? Skill vs Skill."**

**Knuckles smiled and nodded.**

**The duo was back in the clearing with the rock structure. They both had clubs, and Sonic gestured at the echidna. "Go ahead. Take your shot!"**

**Knuckles was about to swing at the ball on the tee, but then he paused. His brow furrowed. "Don't you feel the ground rumbling?"**

**Sonic scoffed. "Nice** _**try** _ **, Lucky."**

"Is he setting up to blame something random in case he misses?"

Knuckles shook his head at Amy. "No, he's too dumb for that. It's probably the Mega or whatever Eggman said."

**The echidna swung anyway and ended up hitting Eggman's hovercraft as the doctor was passing by.**

**Sonic blinked. "Okay, that there was a little weird. I'll give you that."**

" **A little?" Knuckles yelled. "Are you kidding me?!"**

"That is strange…" Tails admitted quietly. Not strange enough to get him to believe the 'luck balance of the universe' theory, because that was just insane.

"It could be a coincidence…?" Amy asked unsurely.

Metal shut that down. "The chances of it being a coincidence is 0.0001 percent."

"Well, there goes that."

**At the village a distance away, Eggman began attacking, shooting destructive lasers. Sonic, seeing the smoke rising over the horizon, sprinted in that direction.**

" **Magnificent!" Eggman was laughing haughtily along with Orbot and Cubot. "The invasion is going swimmingly! And me, without my floaties on!" He laughed again, but realized that his robots weren't doing so as well. He muttered, "Note to self: need hipper-diabolical banter."**

Eggman ran a hand down his face. "Why can't he just lay on his couch and do _nothing_ for an episode?! Is that too much to ask?"

"Apparently, yeah," Sonic said cheekily.

Metal rotated the remote with his fingers. "At least those failures of his know when the doctor is embarrassing himself."

"Mets, is that a compliment I hear?"

"No, copy. I still want to eliminate them."

**Sonic then appeared, sliding to a stop in front of the doctor. Amy, Tails, and Sticks soon joined him. "So Eggman, what makes you think this stunt will go any better than the last dozen or so you've pulled?" Sonic asked.**

**Eggman wasn't bothered. "The luck balance of the universe, that's what!"**

**Tails couldn't believe this. "What? You believe in that stuff too?"**

_I feel your pain, other me,_ Tails sadly thought.

**Knuckles ran up behind the group of heroes. "Sorry I'm late! What can I do to-"**

**A random roof part fell from the sky and almost landed on the crew if they hadn't dived out of the way in time.**

Rouge knew that the luck universe thing was ridiculous, but that was just as ridiculous. "That was-"

"There's gotta be another explanation!" Tails cut her off before she could say it. "A scientific one!"

" **I'm unscathed!" Eggman announced cheerfully before dusting off his shoulder. "I'm a little schmitzy, but no matter. It's also laundry day!" He floated away with his robots following him, singing, "Today is my lucky day!"**

Eggman wished that he could say the same for himself. But no, his face was hurting, his pride was hurting even more, and he was pretty sure his life was going to be taken by a particular striped hedgehog sooner or later.

He hoped to live long enough to take a soothing hot bath after this.

**Knuckles groaned, holding his head. "You guys okay? Wow, that was nuts! I can't believe that!"**

**Sonic looked less than happy. "We had him** _**cornered.** _ **What are you doing here?"**

"Whoa…" Sonic furrowed his brow. "Well, that came out of nowhere…"

**Knuckles was lost. "Helping?"**

**Sonic's gaze was a borderline glare. "You're not helping; you're just bad luck! I have an idea. Since you and your bad luck just hurt our side, why don't you just join Eggman and make it official."**

"Sonic's a jerk!" Amy declared, not liking how hurt the echidna looked. Rouge was right; he was kinda like a lost puppy.

"Sort of like the one here, huh?" Knuckles snorted, sending the azure speedster a look. Sonic responded by sticking out his tongue.

Amy put her hands on her hips, glaring. "Don't call my Sonic a jerk!"

Knuckles slowly blinked at her. "Amy, he gave you a fruit instead of a real date."

The pinkette hesitated. "He just…has a twisted sense of humor, which I can fix!"

Rouge grinned at her, amused. "…You really have it bad, don't you Pinky?"

"I love him so much that it _hurts._ "

Sonic wanted to say that _she_ wasn't the only one hurting, but he kept that to himself to protect his health.

**A flash of hurt crossed Knuckles' face. "Fine! If that's how you're going to be about it, I'm gonna work with someone who appreciates me!" He ran off in anger.**

**Amy reached out to him. "Knuckles, come back!"**

**Sonic stepped up beside her, smirking. "Hold up. Let's let this play out."**

"Wait, are they holding hands?" Amy squealed, forgetting all about the other Knuckles and 'jerk' Sonic. "It looks like they're holding hands!"

"Ames, their hands are _off_ the _screen!_ You can't just-"

"I can and I will!"

Ignoring the lover's quarrel beside him, Knuckles thought that the on-screen's hedgehog's plan was smart. He had to admit though that hearing the hedgehog mad like that to a friend, even in pretend, was kinda off-putting. "He did that a little _too_ well."

Tails agreed with him, saying, "We do know that he's a tiny bit meaner than our Sonic…"

**In the village, Eggman was hovering over smoldering rubble, smirking down at the frightened villagers.**

" **Listen, village," the doctor started. "Your panicked screaming and fear-addled hysteria have so charmed and delighted me these past few moments that I wish to extend my appreciation by debuting for you my most extravagant ode to destruction yet. Behold…" The ground shook as he gestured to the side. "…the Mega!"**

**A huge and bulky mech with tank treads rolled up, its mechanical hands clenched into fists. Its single eye focused on the villagers.**

" **I call him that because he's seven percent bigger than my other robots," Eggman quickly explained.**

Eggman rubbed his temples. "He didn't have to say that out loud…"

Rouge shrugged. "Well, you love shouting your plans to the world, so I'm not surprised that he doesn't know when to shut up too." She eyed the robot shown to them. "And you both like over-compensating, don't you?"

Knuckles snorted as the human froze.

Before the echidna could speak however, Rouge continued, "You can't say anything, Knuckie. There has to be a reason you're so protective of that large and beautiful gem of yours."

Knuckles sputtered. "But that's – that's not – you _know-!"_ He ended up with his head in his hands, cursing the bat and everything she stood for.

Tails tilted his head in confusion. "Rouge, what are you implyi-"

"Just forget it, Tails!" Sonic interrupted him, not wanting to go through _this_ again. "Let's just watch the show!"

The kit eventually did so, knowing that pushing would get him nowhere.

Shadow sent Rouge an exasperated yet entertained glance, and she patted herself on her back.

" **Eggman!" The doctor and his lackeys glanced over to see Knuckles walking up. "I'm through with Sonic! I'm joining your side."**

" **Ah!" Amused, Eggman flew a circle around the echidna. "A defector has come to join the winning team. More good luck!"**

"So…he's going to accept it, just like that?" Tails thought that the other Eggman was a bit…slower, but this was just wow. "Not worried about being double-crossed or anything?"

"Does anything he does surprise you at this point?" Eggman mumbled, not caring if the cub heard him or not. He unintentionally had the same thought as the echidna by him, wanting Rouge _out._

**The red anthro's attention was drawn to the robot. "Pretty cool robot." He got closer to it. "New?"**

**Eggman was quick to boast. "Yeah, nice right? Safe to say my best ever." He pushed a button on his wrist to send the bot into action, but instead, its head exploded. The observing villagers gasped.**

"Good." Metal agreed with its early demise. "It was most likely inferior anyway."

"It's just so pathetic!" Sonic laughed out loud. "It didn't even _do_ anything!"

**The doctor stared for a moment before saying, "Though, it's basically a prototype." The large mech then reached into gaping hole in its torso and pulled out a bomb. Eggman continued, "Never really tested it in the field before, but the designs looked really sound."**

**The mech accidently activated the bomb, causing it to beep. Eggman didn't look fazed. "So, I figured with this string of good luck I've been having…" The bot replaced the bomb within itself. It rocketed into the air and exploded, raining parts around the village. Eggman chuckled happily. "Hey, now it's tested, and I don't have to clean up the mess." He grinned at the observers. "Good luck with that, suckers!" He and his helper bots fly off.**

Sonic laughed even harder, Tails and Amy joining him. "He just accepts that his invention was terrible!" The fox observed breathily.

Metal would be doing the same if he wasn't a robot. "Your life would be much better, doctor, if you would just accept that you are a failure."

_Probably_ , he thought but didn't say out loud. He had a reputation to uphold. Eggman glared. "When _you_ do, maybe I will too."

**Knuckles slumped, depressed. "Wow. My bad luck follows me wherever I go…"**

**The rest of the heroes approached. Sonic grinned at him. "Or, is it** _**good** _ **luck? After all, our side won."**

**Knuckles frowned. "I was on the other side."**

**Sonic shook his head. "No you weren't. I sent you on a secret mission for us."**

Sonic, getting his breathing under control, smiled. "My twin's playing him like a fiddle!"

"Well, he _does_ have experience with dealing with that Knuckles!" Amy fought to control her giggles. That robot was _hilariously_ pathetic.

**The echidna was awed. "It was so secret…even** _**I** _ **didn't know about it!"**

" **Yeah," Sticks affirmed with a smile. "You see, you switched sides and your bad luck overpowered Eggman's good luck, but you were really on our side. So by losing, you won."**

Shadow harshly exhaled. "Someone _please_ get her off the screen."

**It took a minute for that to sink in, but Knuckles eventually gaped. "Wow…yeah!"**

The room collectively rolled their eyes.

**The crew were leaving the village now in good spirits.**

" **You know what I've been wondering, though?" Knuckles asked them.**

**Tails, more in the back of the group, responded, "Where crazy luck theories come from?"**

" **When the bad luck leaves** _ **me**_ **, where does it go?"**

**Tails was suddenly struck by a falling robot part. Everyone turned around worriedly.**

Tails winced. "Poor guy…" He was always the victim even though he didn't do anything!

**The kit was struggling to free himself. "There's a perfectly good…explanation for this…"**

"Woo, episode's over." Knuckles voice was flat as he clapped once. He then gestured over to the front door. "Rouge. Out. Now."

"Well that's not very nice, hon." Rouge pouted. "Did you leave your manners back on that island?"

"You guessed it. Now go."

Rouge scoffed as she used her wings to stand up. She wiped off invisible dust. "Ignoring Mr. Rude over there, I should go and find a way to get you all out of here. And get Shadow some caffeine in his system." She glanced at the television. "I have to say, the show isn't that bad."

"Because _this_ episode wasn't that bad!" Amy sat up a bit. "It was actually pretty tame compared to the others."

Tails shuddered at the memories. "You wouldn't be saying the same if you saw Guilt Tripping."

"Guilt Tripping?" Sonic scoffed. "Try Buster or the sleepover one! _Those_ were horrible!"

Multiple sounds of agreeance echoed around the room.

Rouge grinned. "You'll have to give me a summery sometime." She began to walk over to the front door. "But in the meantime, hold tight until – _ah!_ "

She cried out when a bright white light blinded her. Also, from the pained hisses around her, the others were faring as well as she was.

When the light faded, she blinked open her eyes and realized that something, no _many_ things, were very wrong.

One…she wasn't standing up any more.

Two…she was suddenly sitting on a couch.

And three…she was _human._

Rouge looked down at the ice pack in her meaty hands and screamed.


	15. Chapter 15

Rouge screamed in extreme shock, and her distressed shouts only grew louder when she realized that it wasn't _her_ voice filling the air.

On the other hand, Eggman felt like he'd been dunked in ice cold water, frozen with his mouth agape in a silent scream.

Everyone else — sans Metal — covered their ears at the sound of 'Eggman' losing his mind.

Shadow scowled as he sent the 'human' the nastiest look imaginable, his ears pressed his against head in an attempt to save his eardrums. "What in the _hell_ is wrong with you, doctor?"

"Besides the usual," Metal quipped, eying the human as well.

Rouge ignored the both of them, nearly hyperventilating as she stared at her hands. She then suddenly jumped up off the couch — startling a recovering Knuckles — and started to pat herself down because this _couldn't_ be happening, right? Not to her! She hadn't done anything wrong...recently!

She brought her trembling hands up to her face and felt _hair_ on her _upper lip_. She had a mustache and she was human and she could feel the high-blood pressure and the extra fat and the curves in all the _wrong_ places and-

Rouge screamed again.

Sonic had no idea what was going on, but it was getting old fast. He doubted that anyone here wanted to go deaf. "Calm down, Eggman!" he yelled, and 'Eggman' stared at him with wide eyes. "You losin' it or what?"

Rouge jabbed a shaking finger in the azure speedster's direction, voice breathy. "Don't... _ever_ call me that again!"

Sonic blinked, sharing an uncertain look with a flabbergasted Tails beside him. "...You don't want me to call you Eggman?"

Amy was giving the 'doctor' concerned glances. "He's totally crazy! Did...did the _thing_ do that?"

Knuckles was tense, ready to attack if 'Eggman' did something unpredictable. 'He' looked pretty unhinged. "I don't doubt it. Eggman, if you-"

The 'human' whirled on him, 'his' teeth clenched. "What did I just _say?_ " Rouge gestured to herself, now regretting her decision to sit in on this insanity. She'd happily do paperwork if it meant keeping her second X-chromosome. "I'm...I'm not Eggman! I'm _Rouge!_ "

Shadow glared at 'him'. "Doctor, I don't know what idiotic stunt you're trying to pull here, but-"

Rouge glared right back. "This isn't a _stunt_ , hon!"

Shadow winced at that, his expression morphing into one of disgust. "Don't say that again. Ever." He felt violated.

Amy wanted to gag because that sounded _so_ wrong coming from 'his' mouth. "Ewwww! Eggman, what — why-"

"She's telling the truth…" Heads turned toward 'Rouge', and the real Rouge slumped in relief because surely the others would believe her _now_. Eggman slowly glanced up from his hands, feeling short, lighter, and slightly disproportionate. He locked eyes with himself, and his breath hitched. " _I'm_ Eggman," he said, his voice way too feminine for his tastes. No _villain_ could have this type of voice and be successful!

Knuckles narrowed his eyes, glancing between the bat and the doctor. There was no _way_ they were in each other's bodies. Sure, some of the things that had gone on in his house was basically _impossible_ , but, "Are you two pulling something? Is this some kind of prank?"

"I _wish_ that this was a prank, rodent!" Eggman answered sharply, taking a step towards him. "I — _ack!_ " He then nearly twisted an ankle landing on his heeled boot wrongly. Eggman was a mess of flailing arms and wings as he fell, creating a cloud of confetti around him. He groaned as he sat up, glaring at the boot he was wearing and ignoring the incredulous stares trained on him. "How do you _not_ break an ankle every time you wear these?!"

"Nevermind my shoes!" Rouge never thought that she'd be saying that a day in her life. They were her babies second only to the emeralds. She shuffled over to the downed bat and looked him over. "Did you break anything? I _swear_ doctor if you ruin my perfection-!"

"I'm _fine_ , or I will be after I do this," Eggman said as he took off those death traps, throwing them haphazardly to the side, making Rouge glare. The bat pushed himself off the floor and wiped himself off, carefully avoiding his uh...new features.

Even so, Rouge stiffened as a new problem rose its ugly head. "Hands off the merchandise, mister!" she shouted, and Eggman blinked at her like he didn't know what she was talking about. He knew _damn_ well what she was talking about. "Hands up! Where I can see them!"

Eggman huffed because this was _ridiculous_ — his hands weren't hidden and she couldn't possibly think that he would sink that low — but when she loomed over him with poison in her gaze, he complied. He absently wondered if _he'd_ ever looked that scary or if it was just a woman thing.

Rouge went back over to her or rather Eggman's former seat on the couch and sat down. She then looked at a speechless Knuckles. "I'm going to need you to get up."

The echidna was starting to think that he'd been wrong in his assumption. "But-"

" _Up!_ "

Usually, Knuckles paid Eggman no mind, but 'his' demeanor was absolutely different now and he believed he was actually in danger of being attacked if he didn't move. He gave 'Rouge', who looked like a criminal at a crime scene, a fleeting glance before giving up his seat.

Rouge pointedly looked at Eggman and patted the empty seat beside her. "Sit. Hands in your lap." The bat frowned as he did so, not desiring to experience a woman's wrath fueled by testosterone. However, when he put his new hands in his lap, Rouge ordered again, "Actually, hands by your sides. _Too_ close to dangerous territory, doctor."

Eggman wondered why _he_ was the unfortunate soul to have switched with her.

Tails gaped like a fish for a moment — having been silent throughout that whole interaction — before stuttering, "U-Um...I think they switched bodies…"

"You think?" Amy eyed the bat beside her, feeling a shiver go up her spine because it could've easily been _her_ in Eggman's body. "They just proved it!"

"This…" Knuckles, now sitting on the floor by Shadow, looked from Rouge who was watching the bat beside her like a hawk to Eggman, who seemed more than a little uncomfortable. "This is just _wrong._ "

"You're telling me!" Rouge deeply exhaled, running her meaty hands down her face. "I'm stuck in this disgusting meatwad of a body!"

Shadow had a prominent frown on his muzzle. "Maybe that damn _thing_ actually didn't want you here and is punishing you for visiting."

Rouge folded her arms over her (non-existent) chest. "I would've _loved_ a warning. I would've happily went back to work."

While they were talking, Sonic was trying to hold his laughter in. However, it became too much and the dam broke. He was doubled over, laughs loud and obnoxious. Both Eggman and Rouge threw him glares.

Sonic felt them and sat back up, barely reining in his chuckles. "Look, I'm sorry for laughin' Rouge, but this is _gold!_ "

"This isn't _funny_ , Blue!" Rouge chastised. "Especially since _I_ got the short hand of the stick here!"

" _You_ did?" Eggman would like to beg to differ. "I basically lost _half_ of my body, and at least you're allowed to _move!_ "

"Hush you."

"I will _not-"_

Multiple gasps filled the air when there was another bright light. It went away as soon as it came, and Tails' breath stuttered when he noticed the sharp knuckles on the back of his hands. "Oh no…"

Rubbing his abused eyes, Sonic turned toward 'Knuckles' who was staring wide-eyed at his namesakes. "What's wrong, Knux?" Even though he had a _little_ suspicion of what just happened and what the bright light meant.

Beside Sonic, 'Tails' released a groan and rubbed his temples. "He's not Knuckles, I am."

"It happened again?!" Amy cried out, having a bad feeling in her gut.

Rouge couldn't help but to feel a little better about her situation.

"I can't believe this..." Tails admired his new weapons before standing up, which he soon released was a mistake. He stumbled forward immediately and would've ran head-first into the bottom of the cursed TV if Shadow hadn't grabbed his wrist in time. He struggled to regain his balance, thinking that the absence of his counterbalancing tails was the culprit of his near fall.

"Thanks, Shadow!" Tails gave the hedgehog an appreciative smile, but the other was too lost in his own thoughts to respond.

Letting the other go and sitting back down on the floor, Shadow was thinking that he was in _trouble_ if all of them ended up switching. He would end up in either Sonic's, Amy's, or Metal's body and _damn it all._

Now without a crutch, Tails held his arms out to keep balance. "This is bad…" He chewed his bottom lip. "But it's not as bad as Rouge's and Eggman's switch, right Knuckles?"

Knuckles scoffed and inwardly winced at how young he sounded. Couldn't Tails have gone through puberty before they had endure this craziness? "Hell no it isn't." He smirked at Rouge's glare until one of his gigantic — did foxes need them this big? Like seriously? — ears got pinched. "Gah! What the-?"

"Did you just _curse_ , Knux?" Sonic shook his head in mock-exasperation as he pulled harder, making the other yelp. "You're too young for that stuff, mister!"

The fox fought to push the other off, but that only made his situation worse. Sonic laughed before putting Knuckles in a headlock. "I would put ya in time-out, but I think this is better!"

Knuckles panted as he struggled to pry his head free, but he couldn't do anything with these noodle arms. "I _swear_ if you don't let me go-"

"What are you going to do?" Rouge had to chime in with a mocking smirk, refusing to scratch her suddenly itchy upper lip because that was disgusting. All of this was. "Punch him?"

Sonic barked out a laugh, keeping a secure hold on the grumbling fox. "Yeah, punch me, Knux! Let me see what ya got!"

The angle was awkward, and Knuckles _knew_ he wasn't doing any real harm flailing as he was. There were chuckles all around, and he frowned. "You couldn't have worked out _once_ in your life, Tails?" he muttered before yelling out. "Tails! Get over here and help me!"

Tails looked up from the bare knuckle he was studying, having taken off his left glove. He saw Knuckles' position and grinned. It was nice seeing someone else trapped by Sonic's noogie of death. "Actually, I'm just going to enjoy-"

"Tails, when I get back in my body, I'm coming after _you_ first."

"Okay, okay!" Tails replaced the glove and strolled over to the duo. However, again, he forgot that he was missing his tails and instantly face planted on the ground in front of the couch. "Owwww…"

He cradled his throbbing nose with one hand and grabbed the edge of the sofa with the other. Tails tried to get up, but instead, he tore a good chunk of the cushion he had grasped. He blinked at it. "Oops…"

Amy giggled at the poor echidna. "You might not want to touch anything else, Tails. You'll probably tear your house apart!"

Sonic peered down at his little(?) brother before letting Knuckles go. "Yeah, Imma just give it up now before Tails pulls my arm off or somethin'."

"It isn't that unpleasant of an experience," Metal commented, taking all of this foolishness in stride.

Sonic rolled his eyes as Knuckles planned his revenge. "'Course it isn't because you can't fe-"

There was yet another bright light.

Sonic blinked through it and saw Shadow slump forward until he face-planted on the ground. Soft snores emitted out of his open mouth.

It...wasn't the first time that it happened, but still, what the heck?

Rouge furrowed her brow. "What in the world?"

Tails dropped the piece of cushion and faced the sleeping 'hog. He tilted his dread-locked head. "Um...was there another switch? Or did something else happen?"

Something appeared in the corner of everyone's eyes, and they turned to see a large hammer in Amy's grip. Though, that wasn't what held their attention. The slightly homicidal expression on her face did.

"If _any_ of you say a word," Shadow began, his tone sharp and cutting, "this is going down your _throat."_

" _..._ and I thought Amy couldn't look any more terrifying," Knuckles mumbled and held his hands up innocently when poisonous jades landed on him. "I wasn't making fun of you. Just commenting."

Shadow's glare didn't let up, and Tails had to step in. "Don't hurt him, please? You'll hurt my body and I have to eventually return to it, so…"

Shadow took a deep breath and eased up his grip on the handle of his convenient weapon. He didn't let it poof away though, simply laying it across his body for easy future access.

He clenched and unclenched his fists, wanting to get out of these damn pink pajamas, out of this damn body, out of this damn house, and get the sleep he-

Wait. He wasn't tired anymore. It didn't take energy he didn't have to keep his eyes open.

Shadow shifted his gaze to his sleeping body, coming to the conclusion that Amy was in control of it now. "My exhaustion stayed with my body," he said, changing the subject. "And she doesn't have the mental endurance I do."

Sonic rubbed the back of his neck. He would've teased Shadow about his situation, but there were rare times that he left the other alone in fear of his well-being. This was one of those times. "Wow Shads, how tired _were_ you?"

Rouge propped her head up in her palm and snapped her fingers at Eggman when he reached up to scratch something. When he scowled and lowered his hand, she said, "When he has to resort to coffee, it's pretty bad."

"So you're not tired anymore?" Tails asked him.

The pink hedgie shook his head. "No."

Eggman's scowl morphed into a glower that looked out of place on the bat's face. "Lucky you, rodent. Not only are you free to do whatever you want-" He pointedly looked at an uncaring Rouge. "-you also get a _perk_ from it."

"Hardly a perk." Shadow scrunched his nose up at his voice. It sounded naturally whiny and high-pitched. Everything Shadow wasn't. "Though, it's better than being a robot."

There was a general consensus around the room, and Sonic _just_ now realized the predicament he was in.

Metal saw how nervous the speedster got and said, "I am the superior being, copy. You should be flattered to have the chance to-"

"Maybe we should start the show!" Sonic exclaimed, mind whirling. He _really_ didn't want to become a tin can. "That's why the _thing's_ doing this to us, yeah? We're going to slow?"

"Not so fast, hon-"

Everyone shuddered, even Eggman because that should _never_ be uttered by his voice.

Shadow glared at Rouge. "What did I tell you before?"

She rolled her eyes. "Sorry, force of habit. But anyway Blue, it's not fair if you and the bot get to sit out on the craziness."

"That's the thing!" Sonic's smile was twitchy. "Someone has to stay level headed right?"

Shadow scoffed, sounding nearly like a squeaky toy. "Since when have _you_ been level headed, Faker?"

"That's not the point!"

"Still true though," Knuckles commented, rubbing on the ear that had been abused earlier. "And even if we were going to spare you — we're not by any stretch of the imagination — Amy's still asleep. We can't play it."

Sonic turned to Amy, and yeah, she was still knocked out. Mental gears turned as he came up with a plan. He'd wake her up and then dash for the remote. Then he'd be safe...hopefully.

He stood up, careful not to step on Tails who had settled where he had fallen. "It'll be easy enough to wake her up! I'll just-"

Sonic saw white for the fourth stupid time, and he _really_ hated magical beings and their sadistic streaks.

"I seriously hope the _thing_ is having fun blinding us…" Knuckles grumbled as he recovered. He then — along with all of the others — glanced between the standing blue hedgie and the sitting robot. Knuckles' temporary blue eyes lingered on the bot. "Sonic?"

The mech's red opitcals focused on him and monotone words filled the air. "I hate this."

Tails peered up at him, seeing Sonic test his metallic fingers. "How does it feel in there?"

Sonic crossed his arms, inwardly wincing at the clang produced. "Terrible. My voice is all wonky, my senses feel weird, I don't have a freakin' mouth or skin, and I'm technically _dead."_

Rouge waved him off. "Don't be so melodramatic. You're not dead, Blue."

"Really? I can't breathe and don't have a heartbeat. I wouldn't exactly call that _alive._ "

Knuckles snorted, somewhat amused. "Someone's grumpy."

Tails understood why Sonic was upset though. He had been fighting robots all of his life only to become one. It had to be jarring. "Don't be so down, Sonic! You won't be in his body forever!" At least, he assumed so.

"Yeah yeah…"

If Sonic ever came face-to-face with the thing, he might consider doing something unheroic.

Eggman was frowning as he took in Sonic's new appearance. Under normal circumstances, seeing his enemy like this would've meant that he had _finally_ bested the rodent and robotimized him. But here, it was nothing but a slap in the face.

There was only so much humiliation he could take before breaking down and needing a bath. With bubbles.

"While all of you are focused on the Faker," Shadow began, his attention on the standing anthro who was clutching his chest. "I think Metal is being enlightened. Again."

Most of the others looked at Metal, but Rogue rose a brow at the pink hedgie. "Again?"

"Long story."

The blue hedgehog's eyes were wide as he felt his chest rise and fall with each breath, felt the steady heartbeat under his fingertips. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, getting used to it, as his brow creased. "It...It feels like this...to be alive?"

"Sure does." The robotic version of a huff escaped Sonic. "Enjoy it while you can."

Metal stood still for a couple more moments, his feeling of awe washing over him. "This is not...what I expected…"

Sonic got up because it sure didn't look like Metal was going to wake Amy. He would've frowned at how stiff and clunky he was if he had a mouth. "'Course it isn't." He walked over to the downed hedgie. "Bet you regret tryin' to take it from us all this time, huh?"

"I…" Metal made eye contact with Sonic, expression genuinely curious. "What does pain feel like?"

Sonic didn't answer immediately, still processing the question, so Knuckles took the initiative. He didn't have his usual strength, but he figured that this would be enough. The fox reached up and pinched the hedgehog hard in his side.

Metal loudly yelped before bringing a hand to his mouth, eyes wide.

Knuckles snickered at the reaction. "Punches are worse."

"Cuts are pretty bad too," Tails added.

Rouge nodded. "And burns."

"Being shot is rough," Shadow provided.

Sonic put a hand on his hip, the action not feeling as natural as it should've. "And y'know, I'd argue being slashed open or being the target of a red-hot laser is probably the worst."

Metal blinked at him before whirling on Eggman, who suddenly wished that he wasn't there. "You know what pain feels like, and yet you let me inflict that on others? I thought you were pathetic before, but now…"

Eggman held up his hands innocently, ignoring Rouge's warning glare. "You...You can't put the blame all on me! _You_ were more than happy to-"

"Do you expect a child with no knowledge of mathematics to solve a quadratic equation?"

"I — _No_ , but-"

"Exactly," Metal nearly spat. Eggman went silent at that, not believing that he'd been told off by his own creation and knowing that he couldn't say anything without potentially getting punched in the face. Then he'd have an angry Rouge to deal with.

When the doctor said no more, Metal returned to Knuckles' side.

The fox's and echidna's mouths were agape. Rouge was disappointed that she didn't have any popcorn because that was _wild._ Shadow wished that Metal had thrown a punch.

Sonic gave his bodysnatcher a thumbs up. "Didn't know you had it in you, Mets."

"Me neither…" Metal said absently, distracted by the feel of his head quills.

Eggman went to cross his arms — he was _not_ pouting — and groaned when Rouge slapped them back down.

Sonic felt a little better because of what just happened, but not by much. They had to get the show on the road because maybe when the episode was over, they would change back.

He squatted down and reached out to put a hand on Amy's shoulder. Sonic hesitated at the sight of his metal fingers, but he kept going. "Ames!" he called as he shook. "Earth to Amy! Wake up!"

It took a couple tries, but black eyelids finally blinked open. "...Huh?" she mumbled out, and her voice was apparently loud enough for her to hear because her breath hitched. She hastily sat up, almost head butting Sonic the process. Amy grabbed her throat. "My...My voice! Why do I sound like I gargled sandpaper?!"

Shadow growled at her. "It's better than swallowing a damn dog toy."

Amy whirled her head in his direction, her body stiffening. "Oh...Oh my _gosh!_ No no no! I got _Shadow?_ " She was screeching now, voice cracking, and Knuckles and Rouge were getting a kick out of it.

"Calm down!" Shadow barked. His voice was _not_ meant to be used like that.

"Calm down? Calm _down?!_ I'm-" Amy gasped as she looked down at herself. Then she tried to cover as much of her body as she could, basically in a fetus position. "I'M NAKED!"

Knuckles and Rouge now were choking on their laughter.

Shadow contemplated going over there and shutting her up himself.

Eggman wanted earplugs.

Even though Tails felt bad for her, a couple chuckles slipped out as he explained, "Amy, you're not technically naked! It's okay!"

"NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OKAY!" Amy whined, and it sounded more like a low rumble than anything. Shadow's hate steadily grew. Amy focused on an observing Metal. "Sonic! Get me a blanket, pretty please!"

Knuckles and Rouge were wheezing at this point.

Sonic wished that he could laugh. "Uh…" He rose a hand, gaining her attention. "Ames, _I'm_ Sonic."

The black hedgehog's features morphed from shock to extreme pity so fast. It wasn't an expression he'd seen on that face _ever_. Sonic would pinch himself, but nope. He was made of metal now.

"Tails is right…" Amy was heavily breathing, but she stopped yelling and that was a good sign. "I need to calm down because you _totally_ got it worse than I did!"

" _Please_ stop talking," Shadow nearly begged.

"No! Keep going!" Knuckles was wiping away a tear.

Amy ignored them, instead asking, "Are you alright in there, Sonic?"

Sonic shrugged. "I've been a _lot_ better."

"Oh…" Amy paused before returning to her earlier conversation topic. "Can you get me a blanket?"

"...You're not naked."

"SONIC!"

"I'm going! I'm going!"

Amy watched Sonic leave, her heart rate slowly decreasing. She was fine, everything was fine, it wasn't that bad. She had no clothes on, but she was getting that taken care of.

She exhaled deeply, hating her voice. It was filled with too much testosterone. Amy then looked past a still giggling Rouge and a miserable Eggman to focus on Shadow with his arms folded over his chest. She frowned, glancing at the tense bat before saying, "Shadow, put your hands at your sides like Eggman has his!"

Shadow saw where she was going with this, and he narrowed his eyes. "No."

Sonic walked back into the living room with a blue blanket. He tossed it over to Amy, who wrapped herself in it while glaring. "No? What do you mean, _no?_ Respect my body! I'm covering _you_ up, so you shouldn't be touching _me!"_

"I don't care that you have a blanket."

Amy was growing frustrated. "But you're a _boy_ , and I don't want you to touch-"

"You have nothing to touch, so stop _whining._ "

Rouge covered her mouth in surprise. _Oh no he didn't…_

Amy, along with the rest of the room, was shocked silent.

Until snickers escaped Metal's mouth. Those soon grew into chuckles that bloomed into unabashed laughter. "W-What-" He interrupted himself with more laughs. "-Why am I-?" He tried to muffle it with his hands, but it did nothing.

Tails couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Is...is he…?"

"Laughing? Yeah." Knuckles finished for him. "At the _completely_ wrong time." If it hadn't been for the enraged black hedgehog with a cape marching in their direction, it would've been the _perfect_ time to laugh.

Amy paused in front of the the blue Mobian, blazing scarlets narrowed dangerously. She stomped once. "That was _not_ funny!"

Metal fought to control himself, but it was hard. This was a completely new experience and he didn't know how to handle it. "It was...a _bit_ humorous."

Sonic flinched at the punch that followed, and he was glad that he wasn't in his body at the moment.

"Pain…" Metal murmured as he rubbed his severely throbbing cheek. "Punches causing pain is an accurate statement…"

Amy grinned at her clenched fist, loving her newly acquired strength. She then approached an unfazed Shadow. Both of their stares were heated, venom present in their gazes.

"Take it back," Amy ordered, taking advantage of her situation and adding a growl to her words.

"You're forgetting who you're talking to, Rose." Shadow's voice was calm, the bubbly girl's voice twisted to be equivalent of a lit fuse.

"I know _exactly_ who I'm talking to! That's why we're having his conversation!"

Shadow didn't say anything, waiting for her to make a move so he could.

Unfortunately, Sonic had to get involved. "Whoa, guys!" The robot shuffled over, putting a hand on Amy's chest and gently pushing her back. "Let's just calm down a bit, yeah?"

Amy pointed at the pink hedgie. "He started it! He _insulted_ me, and-"

Sonic steered her away, guiding her to the empty seat by Knuckles. "It's okay, Amy! He wasn't serious."

"Shadow isn't ever not serious! Do you agree with him, Sonic?"

"Uh...this is an awkward conver-"

"Sonic the hedgehog! Do you think that I-"

"Shadow!" Sonic pushed her to sit on the couch a little rougher than necessary. "It wouldn't hurt to apologize, right?"

Shadow looked nowhere close to giving in. "It would be excruciating."

Rouge had finally recovered from what was said. "It _was_ kinda rude, Shadow."

"I was provoked."

Amy leaned forward quick as lightning. "Provoked?!"

Knuckles cringed as he rubbed his arm. "I know you're mad and all, but keep your spit to yourself, Amy."

Amy blinked, anger put on hold. "Ewwww! I'm sorry Knuckles! I didn't mean to!"

"On that thought…" Sonic grabbed the remote abandoned by Amy's leg and sat down on the floor beside Tails, his back against the couch. He glanced up at the television — hoping that his episode would go by fast — and pressed play.

**It was nighttime on the beach, and the hero crew was lounging around a warm campfire.**

Sonic envied his twin. He would've been fine switching with _anyone_ else! But nope. The _thing_ hated him.

"What is this one about?" Tails asked, keeping his hands close to himself so he wouldn't accidentally break something else. "Did anyone catch the title?"

There were head shakes all around.

Knuckles made use of his tails: one being a makeshift blanket and the other a soft pillow. "My twin's in it, so it can't be good."

Rouge scoffed. "Come on, Red, he may be a little slower, but you have to admit that he's adorable-"

" _Rouge."_

"Sorry."

"Words like that are cut from you vocabulary from now on."

"But Knuckie-" Rouge stopped herself at the mortified looks she received. "It's hard, okay?"

Eggman was going to be sick.

**Tails was the only one staring up at the stars, and Amy noticed. "Tails? What are you doing?"**

**The kit gestured up at the cloudless sky. "Just enjoying this beautiful meteor shower."**

**Everyone looked up to see multicolored meteorites fly overhead.**

**Knuckles, who was eating marshmallows off a stick, pointed at one of the hurdling rocks. "That one's flying beautifully toward us!"**

Knuckles shook his head in disappointment. "And so it begins…"

Rouge rolled her eyes. "What he said wasn't even that bad."

"I beg to differ."

Amy, bundled up in her blanket, tapped her chin through the fabric. "I wonder how they would react if they switched bodies like we did?" She felt really bad for her other self if that ever happened and hoped she lucked up and got Sonic or something. At least _he_ respects women!

"My twin would be dumb and I really don't like the thought of that…" Tails murmured.

"If the best character becomes like _that_ , then I would lose faith in that whole universe," Knuckles grumbled.

**A purple meteor sailed over them before crashing in the far distance with a violet glow. All of the gang's eyes were glued to the event.**

**Tails stood up, awed. "This could be a major find!" He refocused on his friends. "We need to approach it cautiously and with great care so-"**

**Sonic was already up on his feet. "Race ya!" Then he blasted off in the direction of the crater. Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks soon followed after him.**

**Tails heavily sighed before holding out a hand, trailing behind. "Wait for me!"**

Sonic looked forlornly at the screen. He missed his legs.

"Wait…" Amy pursed her lips, cuddling more into her blanket. "That meteor looked really weird! What if...What if they _do_ switch bodies in this one? That's probably why we did it!"

Knuckles frowned. "At this point, I wouldn't be surprised." If Sticks got stuck in his double's body, he was going to walk out of the room.

Tails felt sorry for his left behind twin, but Amy's words got him thinking. "But that wouldn't make sense though… Meteors don't have the power to do that!"

Rouge recalled a particular golf ball being frozen mid-air last episode and brought up, "Apparently the _luck balance of the universe_ exists there, h...Tails." She caught herself. "Body-switching meteors are a step down in my opinion."

"I guess you're right…" Tails admitted, though his scientific mind wanted to reject all of this.

Then again, he _was_ sitting in Knuckles' body. Logic had been thrown out of the window.

**Sonic was the first to reach the massive pit, peering over the edge of it. The purple glowing rock was sitting pretty in the hole.**

Shadow rose a brow. "It looks similar to a Chaos emerald."

"But it can't be one because there were dozens of them in the sky!" Sonic tilted his head. "Speaking of them though, how come we haven't seen one yet?"

"Or the Master Emerald," Knuckles huffed, being reminded that his double was neglecting his duties.

"There _are_ fifty-two episodes or more, have you forgotten?" Metal leaned back into the cushion and appreciated how soft the fabric felt. "They have plenty of time to show up later."

Amy glanced over and saw the slight smile on Metal's face. She didn't know how she felt about a robot stepping in Sonic's shoes — literally — and well, she kinda regretted punching her boyfriend in the face. Indirectly, but she did it nonetheless. That bruise was unsightly.

But Metal apparently didn't care.

"Which body is better, Metal?" she had to ask. "Yours or Sonics?"

"I have yet to make judgement."

Sonic peered over his shoulder at the other. "Really, Metal? Don't think your tin can of a body is superior anymore?"

Metal scoffed. "Far from that. I just have not consumed anything yet. In fact…" He looked over in the direction of the kitchen before standing up and leaving the living room. There was rattling coming from the kitchen and a pause before Metal reappeared, holding a bitten cookie. He looked like his life had been changed twenty times over. "Food is amazing."

Amy giggled, and Shadow inwardly groaned at that terrible sound. "Then you better take advantage of it while you can!"

Metal nodded at her. "You are correct." He disappeared once more for a moment and came back with the pack of cookies, a bag of chips, and a couple sodas.

"That's a little overkill, don't you think?" Rouge gave her opinion, counting the amount of calories she saw.

Metal didn't dignify that with an answer as he plopped down, ripping open the chip bag. Knuckles reached over to get a handful, but the hedgehog slapped him away. "Hey!" Knuckles barked. "You got those for us!"

"Exactly. _I_ acquired these." Metal threw some chips into his mouth and nearly melted at the burst of flavor. He cracked open the soda, took a gulp, and loudly burped. He surprised himself more than anyone else. A light blush camped on his cheeks. "That...was an accident."

Knuckles rolled his eyes, and Tails chuckled. "At least you apologized!" the latter placated. "Sonic usually skips that step!"

Sonic watched his body in silence. He didn't mind Metal eating the snacks, but if he touched his hot dogs, then Sonic was going on attack mode.

**The rest of his friends soon caught up, and he turned to them. "Ha, first!"**

" **Think again, Sonic!"**

**The azure speedster whirled back around to see the doctor in his hovercraft. "Eggman?!"**

" **That's right!" he responded haughtily. "And as the intrepid explorer who first discovered this regal rock, I hereby call dibs!"**

"It's one thing that he shows up in this blasted episode…" Eggman started, a headache already growing. Turned out he wasn't immune to them in this body. "But he shows up revealing that he follows the idiot rules of _dibs?_ " He reached his fingers up to rub his temples.

"Hands down!"

"Can I not de-stress, woman?!"

"No!"

Metal chuckled at them, enjoying the doctor's torment very much. He sipped his soda more slowly. "The other doctor _is_ an idiot, so he would resort to those childish and fabricated rules."

Tails' lips twitched downwards. "Dibs isn't that bad of a system though…"

"You _are_ a child, kit."

" **What?" Sonic called in disbelief. "You can't call dibs."**

**Eggman huffed. "Oh? So now you don't respect dibs? What's next? You're gonna allow cutsies? Flout the five second rule? Step on a crack without any regard for your mother's spinal column?"**

Shadow wondered of the other human had reverted to the mindset of a toddler.

Knuckles was thinking the same thing. "This man has issues. Yeah, no cutting and the five second rule is common knowledge, but stepping on a crack? And _why_ is he so serious about it?"

"Because I honestly believe that he forgets how old he is," Sonic said. From the beginning to the end of his little speech, the man had jumped like twenty years.

**Knuckles frowned at the blue hedgehog, disappointed. "Not cool, Sonic."**

Knuckles pretended that the other him hadn't said anything.

" **Of** _ **course**_ **I respect dibs!" Sonic heatedly defended himself. "You can only call dibs if you're touching the thing you desire to dib!"**

Tails brows furrowed. "Is that a rule? I don't think that's a rule…"

**Eggman held up an innocent hand, chuckling. "Oh...in** _ **that**_ **case…" He then quickly lowered his vehicle into the crater, getting down to the bottom. He stepped out and ran for the meteor.**

**Sonic, seeing this, raced into the hole. He dropped to the ground and bounced in the direction of the rock, hand outstretched.**

**They both touched the meteor, shouting out, "Dibs!"**

"So it's only Blue and the doctor who switched?" Rouge observed, because the others weren't anywhere near the meteor when it went off.

"If only…" Sonic and Eggman muttered at the same time.

**The screen glowed purple before cutting to black. Then, it was a first person view of someone blinking their eyes open.**

" _ **Ugh…**_ " **It was Sonic's voice as a thought. The eyes looked around, revealing the inside of the base.** " _ **What am I doing in Eggman's lair?"**_ **Sonic faced forward, gasping at a mirror that showed Eggman.** " _ **Eggman!"**_

**Sonic launched himself at the mirror to attack the human, but he only bounced right off, landing on the floor. He rubbed his head as he sat up. "** _**What the…"** _ **Then he opened his mouth, asking with the doctor's voice, "What am I doing in Eggman's body?"**

"Trust me," Sonic spoke to the screen. "It could be worse. Way worse."

Rouge shook her head. "Worse, maybe, but not _way_ worse. At least you don't feel like a sack of potatoes and _hot._ " She turned towards Eggman. "I'm basically sweating over here?!"

Metal snorted, swallowing a cookie. Tails stole one while he wasn't looking. "Blubber is a good insulator."

Eggman was sad that Metal wasn't still a robot; he would've ripped his head off for that one.

**The doors to a connecting hallway promptly slid open, Orbot and Cubot floating through. "Dr. Eggman!" the former exclaimed. "You're awake!"**

" **We had to drag you back home!" Cubot said. "It was spring break all over again!"**

**Multiple pictures of Eggman playing volleyball, singing karaoke, building a sandcastle, and sleeping on the beach with a Sonic shaped sunburn on his head were shown.**

"Right, because all evil scientists have a _spring break_ ," Knuckles said sarcastically.

"We can hardly call him evil or even a scientist for that matter…" Eggman groused. "He's nothing but a disappointment, and Metal, don't you _dare_ say anything."

Metal snickered around the chips in his mouth.

Sonic couldn't help but to jump in. "What did you think he was gonna say, Eggy? Wanna share with us?"

"You _know_ what he was going to say, cactus!"

"Maybe...but I want to hear it from you!"

_And they call me sadistic…_ Eggman thought, keeping his mouth wisely closed.

Knuckles nearly jumped out of his skin when something hit his shoulder. He turned his head slightly to see that it was Amy resting against him, clearly asleep. He guessed that the initial surprise of all this wore off. "And...she's out again." He pushed her off of him — with more effort than it should've been — and Amy was now against the arm of the couch.

"What?" Tails whirled around. "Really?"

"I'm surprised that she had lasted that long," Shadow grunted, tapping a finger against the hammer in his lap.

"Well, somebody wake her up!" Rouge helpfully suggested. "I don't want to be in this body any longer than I have to."

"But even if we wake her up, she's just going to keep going back to sleep!" Sonic wracked his brain for the solution for this problem, if he could even call it that. It took a less than a second. "Sugar is an energy source. Since we don't have any caffeine, then we gotta get sugar in her at least until this episode is over."

Tails blinked at him before smiling. "That should work! Good job, Sonic! Those databases are helpful, aren't they?"

"I guess…" Sonic was reluctant to give his new body any compliments. He then glanced at the box of cookies in the former robot's lap. He held out a hand. "Metal, give me the cookies." Metal blinked at him before cradling his food closer to himself. Sonic would've rolled his eyes. "I'm not askin' for all of it, just-"

"There is more than enough food for her in the kitchen."

Sonic simply stared before leaning over Tails, snatching the box and the untouched soda too while he was at it. Metal made a move to reclaim them, and Sonic threatened, "If you don't want confetti shot up your nose, you better stop."

Metal smartly went back to his chips.

Sonic inwardly smirked before taking a sole cookie and holding it under Amy's nose. Barely ten seconds passed before she started to rouse. "Is that…" She opened her eyes and focused on the dessert. "It is!" She sat up, took the cookie, and languidly nibbled at it. Amy rubbed her eyes. "Sorry I keep falling asleep…"

Sonic set the box on her lap. "Just keep eatin' those and drink this." He handed over the soda. "Hopefully it'll keep you awake until we can get our bodies back."

She sleepily nodded. "That's a good idea! Thanks!"

Metal missed the cookies already.

**Sonic was on his feet at this point. "I'm not Eggman! I'm Sonic!"**

**Orbot whispered to his companion. "I think he's pretending to be Sonic again…"**

**Cubot looked a bit disturbed. "Well I'm not gonna be Amy this time!"**

Eggman floundered for a bit before forcing out, "There are too many things wrong with what I just heard."

"You can…say that again." Rouge wanted to forget those last ten seconds. "So...that doctor _role plays_ as Sonic? And forces one of them to be Amy?"

Knuckles _refused_ to let that image into his head. "You think that's bad? He also believes that those two are dating."

Surprise etched into Rouge's features until complete and utter disgust took over.

"That's...That's just creepy!" Tails shuddered.

"Yeah, I agree with the dating stuff because that's a dream come true-" If Amy could read Shadow's thoughts, she'd be relieved that there wasn't any duct tape around. Or stitches. "-but just what in the _world?"_ She crunched on a cookie. "What does he do to them, and what does he make _them_ do?"

"...Let's forget about all of that and move on," Sonic suggested, completely rattled.

**There was a scene change, the screen showing Sonic's shack.**

**Amy and Eggman, who was in Sonic's body, were inside. The pinkette was making sure the other was comfortable. "Sonic, you rest here."**

"Aw!" Amy cooed after yawning. She wasn't feeling the sugar yet, and sleep was putting up a good fight. She worked on her soda. "She's making sure he's alright! That's so adorable! Bf and gf goals!"

Rouge grinned, disregarding the dark aura radiating off Shadow. "You know, I thought that I'd see Sonic give up chili dogs before hearing Shadow say _any_ of that."

"I didn't say it." Shadow's teeth didn't separate at all, his voice a hiss.

"Technically, you did."

"And you're not going to get me to stop!" Amy sent a pointed look Shadow's way. "You won't respect me, and I won't respect you!" She turned her nose up, taking a confident bite of another cookie.

"Amy, I know that you're tryin' to get at Shadow and all…" Sonic glanced at her. "But uh, it _does_ sound really weird comin' from your mouth."

"Huh?" Amy looked down at him. "But I'm still me, though! It doesn't matter how I sound! You're the greatest person ever and I want you to like me back and…" She blinked before stopping herself, hearing what she was saying, _how_ it was said. "Actually nevermind that does sound weird…"

"You think?" Sonic came to a conclusion right then and there. "Yeah, Ames we're gonna treat you like Rouge. There are some things that you just can't say. Like that for example."

Amy huffed, but agreed. "Fine...but can I say stuff like adorable and things like that?"

"Yes," Knuckles and Sonic answered at the same time. They shared an amused look. Rouge nodded in agreement, happy that she wasn't the only one put on restraint.

"It is entertaining," Metal added, still enjoying his snacks.

"It's the only way I'll get _any_ enjoyment out of this," Eggman sighed out.

Shadow growled, despising his own smug face. "I hate all of you."

Tails cocked his head. "But I didn't do anything!"

"You were thinking it."

Tails couldn't exactly argue that without lying.

**Eggman's grin was too wide and his eyes were shifty. "Yes, Amy dear! I won't move, for I am Sonic and this is my humble shack!"**

The only reason Eggman wasn't throwing up right now was that Rouge would have his head for ruining her jumpsuit.

Amy flinched as if she was slapped. "Eggman called her dear? Okay yeah, that's _gross_."

Sonic hated that this episode existed. "Does he...really think that's how my twin acts…?"

Knuckles smirked at him. "Maybe it is. We don't see every second of their lives."

"Oh no Knuckles _stop."_

**Amy began to walk out, but she paused in her step to sent Eggman a confused look before strolling along.**

"Okay, _she's_ even confused by it, so that's a good sign!" Sonic pointed out in relief.

Knuckles was upset that he couldn't milk that for longer.

**The blue hedgehog sat up in his hammock, smirking. He hopped out of it. "Alright, don't freak out. Play it cool. You're Sonic now…" He proceeded to laugh evilly.**

"That's not playing it cool." Tails would've laughed if he wasn't the the slightest bit worried that Eggman controlling Sonic's body could end up pretty bad.

The sound of evil laughter coming from Sonic was utterly ridiculous, but there was something higher on Rouge's priority list she wanted to address. "I don't want to admit this, but this _probably_ is the best chance he has at winning. Especially if Shadow is nowhere to be found."

"Improbable." Metal finished off his soda and managed to stifle the burp this time. "That doctor is too incompetent to allow any plan to end in his favor."

Rouge temporarily had forgot about that. "Yeah, you're right, hon." Metal, of all people, gave her the look and she harshly exhaled. She would never take her own voice for granted again.

"Maybe…" Tails chewed his bottom lip. He mentally went through the hero crew. Sticks had no chance, Tails didn't either without some electronic help, Amy...might be able to hurt him but not stop him, and Knuckles… "Maybe Knuckles will be enough to stop him?"

Knuckles barked out a cynical laugh. "That's a funny joke, Tails. Me? I could take him on. But him? He might trip on a rock and knock himself out before Eggman could touch him."

Tails frowned worriedly. "So, we're just relying on Eggman messing up horribly?"

"You're saying it like there isn't a chance of that happening." Mirth was present in the fox's tone.

"I'd be more shocked if he actually won." Eggman's confidence in his twin was in the negatives at this point. Basically nonexistent.

Tails pursed his lips before turning to Sonic. "What do you think, Sonic?"

"They're pretty much screwed."

"But-"

Sonic went through the options. "Unless Shadow and non-toaster Metal came out of nowhere to fought him at the same time — they couldn't do it alone — then yeah, their only hope is Eggman twisting an ankle or something."

"Careful, Faker." Shadow patted his weapon. "Your limbs can _easily_ come off now."

Metal weakly glared, munching on chips. He was thankful that he had been sent grocery shopping. "I had almost taken you out on multiple occasions, copy."

"Keyword: _almost._ And Shads, you don't wanna make _it_ mad, do you?"

"You're right. I'll just wait until you can feel again to hit you."

Sonic realized that he had made a tiny mistake.

**Amy stepped back into the doorway. "Did you say something?"**

" **No!" Eggman answered too quickly, nearly fumbling over his words. "I was just thinking about something funny that red imbecile we both know said! Heh…"**

**Amy blinked. "You mean...Knuckles?"**

**Eggman nodded. "Yes, Nuffles! That's the guy!"**

Knuces snorted. That was probably the funniest thing this show had offered so far.

**The pinkette studied him for a second before leaving him again, subtly shaking her head.**

"How does she not know by now?!" Amy exclaimed, seriously confused. "Sonic doesn't talk like that, and he wouldn't forget Knuckles' name!"

Knuckles shrugged. "More proof that Tails and Sonic are the best characters."

Amy pouted, the action pulling some muscles in her face. What? Had Shadow never _pouted_ before? ...She actually could believe that. "Well, if they all get in trouble, it's her fault!"

**When she was gone, Eggman rubbed his hands together with an excited smirk. "This is** _**delicious** _ **. With my genius mind and Sonic's speed, I'll finally be able to destroy these pesky rodents once and for all!" Eggman glanced down at his feet. "Time for a test drive…"**

**He stepped in place for a moment. He then sped off and instantly crashed into the wall, legs in the air. "Yeah, this might take some getting used to…"**

"Did Eggy really think he'd be able to handle going like a thousand times his own speed after five minutes?" Sonic was _still_ working on his speed. He always had to work to get faster so he could better himself...and leave Shadow in his dust. "Yeah, I think they're safe."

Tails glanced down at his red body. "I can barely walk and Knuckles isn't even built for running!" He then focused on the former echidna. "Can you keep balanced if you get up?"

"I going to go ahead and say no."

"Don't you want to-"

"And land on my butt? No thanks."

**Back at the crater, Tails was kneeling by the meteor with a device and a chart in his hands.**

" **These numbers are off the chart…" he uttered, examining the screen. He threw the clipboard he had over his shoulder. "Fortunately, I have a bigger chart."**

Amy giggled to himself because while that was unexpected, it was cute.

Knuckles thought that was kinda stupid, but it was a good stupid and he allowed it.

**He bent down, picked up a wider chart than before, and started writing on it. "Now let's find out your purpley secrets…"**

Tails, seeing this, could already determine how this was ending. "Looks like I'm going to eventually figure it out!"

"And swoop in to save the day like the circus episode!" Sonic added, understanding where his bro was coming from.

Rouge was going to ask about the 'circus episode', but she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to know.

**In the evil base, Sonic was still trying to convince the helper bots. "I'm tellin' you, I'm** _**Sonic!** _ **Eggman switched brains with me, I mean, I switched bodies with Eggman!"**

Metal swallowed a mouthful of chips and wondered exactly _why_ these bags were only halfway filled when opened. His was nearly empty now. "He might as well be speaking to a brick wall. He would find better assistance in the other doctor."

**Cubot tilted his head. "Uh, hang on. Did you switch brains, or did you switch bodies?"**

" **Both!"**

" **Well, then, nothing's changed," Orbot concluded.**

"Like I said. They need to be destroyed."

"Maybe Sonic will actually do that this episode?" Tails pointed out.

Eggman scoffed. "As much as I would enjoy that, I doubt it."

**Sonic glared. "Listen, gearbrain-"**

**Cubot nodded at Orbot. "Definitely Eggman."**

" **Look," Sonic started, exasperated. "I'm not Eggman! I'll prove it!" Sonic tried to utilize his speed, but Eggman's body wasn't having it. After a couple of seconds of 'running', Sonic was wheezing. "Oh boy...I can't...breathe! What is the awful feeling...in my lungs?"**

Eggman felt amused eyes on him, and he was quick to defend himself. "I'm not _that_ unhealthy! He barely ran before looking like he's about to collapse!"

"Uh huh," Sonic's monotonous voice still managed to sound disbelieving. "Rouge, do you wanna test that out?"

"And risk collapsed a lung? I'm good, Blue."

**Orbot softly clapped. "Good show, sir."**

**Cubot gave a thumbs up. "Real impressive stuff, boss…"**

**Sonic was straining to regain his breath. "Need to...find Tails...he'll know what to do…!"**

"Yeah, Tails is your best bet at this point." Knuckles sneakily took a cookie out of Amy's box when she took a sip of soda. "Because the smartest one of the other three couldn't even tell anything was off."

**In Sonic's shack again, Eggman was rolling all around the walls and the ceiling, gotten the hang of his new body.**

That surprised Sonic a bit. "Already?"

"Uh oh…" Tails chewed the inside of his cheek. "I didn't know that the fight would be this early!"

**Eggman landed on the floor confidently. "Now that I've finally gotten a hang of this athletically superior but far less handsome body, I can destroy those do-gooders for good!" He laughed maniacally.**

Amy almost choked on her snack. She felt the sugar now, her drowsiness being held at bay. "Less handsome?! I beg to differ! Sonic's perfection on legs!"

"Amy…"

"...Oh yeah, the rules! I forgot!"

Shadow was wrong before. Switching with Amy _was_ worse than potentially switching with Metal. The robot would just be stuffing himself with food, _not_ making Shadow wish that he was both blind and deaf.

**Until Amy's distant voice gained his attention. "Sonic, come out! I made milkshakes for everyone!"**

**Eggman perked up. "Ooo...milkshakes! Okay, milkshakes first,** _ **then**_ **destroy arch enemies."**

Tails could honestly say that he didn't expect that. "Uh...or maybe the fight's not starting now…?"

"It probablyisn't _ever_ going to start." Knuckles knew that the other doctor was something else, but prioritizing milkshakes over finally getting a win over his long-time enemies? Seriously? "Because he's going to have so much 'fun' playing Sonic until Tails comes in and shuts him down."

**The scene switched again to Sonic poorly piloting the hovercraft, the helper bots riding with him. "I really appreciate you guys lending me the Egg-mobile. I have no idea how Eggman gets around in this...floatation device he calls a body!"**

**When those words sink in, Orbot turned to Cubot. "Did he just say that he** _ **appreciates**_ **us?"**

" **I'm thinking that this might not be Eggman after all…" the yellow one speculated. "Could someone else be in his body? If so...who?"**

If Sonic would've heard that, those bots would've been sinking to the bottom of the ocean by now.

Metal pictured them as red and yellow toasters, a grin growing on his muzzle as a result.

**Eggman and Knuckles were enjoying themselves playing a fighting video game.**

Eggman needed to punch his twin in his face for two reasons: so the other could feel his intense anger, and so he could say that he technically got to punch a Sonic in the face.

"He doesn't care that much about beating them, does he?"

Rouge shook her head at Tails' question. "Not at all. At least ours has _some_ kind of drive."

"Thank you!" Eggman shouted in relief. "I've telling you that we're not the same _at all!_ "

Metal scoffed. "You are pushing it, doctor."

**When the doctor's game character eventually pinned the echidna's, Eggman cheered. "Oh yeah! Score one for Dr. Egg-" He hastily mended his words. "I mean uh, Sonic!" He smiled nervously at the other.**

**Knuckles wasn't happy. "Hey, no need to rub it in, dude."**

The fact that the other Knuckles was oblivious as well didn't surprise a single person.

**Eggman blinked. "Of course, Sonic's a good sport! I don't know what came over me, Nuggets!"**

The first time was funny, this time was just obnoxious. "It is _that_ hard to remember his name?" Knuckles groused. "Just look at his hands for crying out loud!"

**Knuckles silently crossed his arms and pointedly looked away.**

**Eggman grinned at him before distancing himself from the echidna a bit. He pulled out a scheduler. "Let's see…badminton with Sticks at four-thirty, then a hike with the gang - can't miss that - another video game sesh with Nibbles at seven, then I'll destroy everyone at seven-fifteen!-**

"He has a whole _day_ planned out!" Amy sloshed the remains of soda around in its can. "I don't _understand-"_

"There's nothin' _to_ understand, Ames."

**-Wait, no…Amy and I are going to see that chick flick at nine! Guess I'll have to destroy them tomorrow…"**

Amy narrowed her eyes. She didn't know how to feel about that date — because it was obviously a date — because while her twin willingly accepted it, it was _Eggman_. That fact alone made it wrong on so many levels.

**There was then a loud crash coming from outside.**

**Eggman whipped his head in that direction. "What was that?"**

**The crash had been caused by Sonic slamming right into a tree. The hovercraft was smoking. He sheepishly snickered. "Sorry about the rough landing…"**

**Eggman ran out of the shack, shocked. "My baby!"**

**Sticks, who let out a war cry, got in a fighting stance along with Knuckles and Amy.**

"...And _no one_ heard that?"

"We've dealt with selective deafness before, lil bro."

"Yeah Sonic, but in Dave's episode, they were whispering! Eggman just _screamed-_ "

"They just got a bad case, is all."

**Sonic held his arms out in as a peaceful gesture. "Guys, it's me! Sonic!"**

**Knuckles barked out a laugh. "Nice try, Eggman!" He then rethought his words. "Wait, no, that was a terrible try."**

"I don't know if it's just me," Rouge gestured to herself, "But I would've at _least_ looked into that outrageous claim especially if I've noticed Blue acting weird."

"That's the thing, though." Shadow grunted. "They _haven't_ noticed anything wrong."

**Sonic approached him, nearly pleading. "But I'm** _ **not**_ **Eggman! I'm Sonic!"**

**Eggman put a hand on his hip, addressing the rest of the heroes. "Don't listen to him!** _**I'm** _ **Sonic! Look how blue I am!" He smirked. "It must be one of his ingenious plans we all admire him for, huh friends?"**

**The trio looked at each other before bursting out in laughter.**

" **In-Ingenious plans!" Amy couldn't control her mirth. "Good one, Sonic!"**

**Eggman was thrown aback, clearly not expecting that reaction.**

" _How_ did he not expect that?" Eggman gestured wildly at the screen. "They are the same annoyances who have been taunting and mocking you for _years._ And it wasn't an _act!_ "

"I almost feel sorry-"

"Don't." Knuckles interrupted Tails. "He deserves it."

" **Yeah…" He quickly recovered, grinning. "We're making fun of Eggman because we're secretly jealous of him, right? I mean, the brains, the panash, the mustache...He's the total package!"**

"If by package he means a can full of hot garbage, then yeah, he's the _total_ package," Knuckles said, absently playing with the fur on one of his tails.

Metal glanced at him, scavenging crumbs at this point. "That is an interesting metaphor." He refocused on the screen. "It is perfect."

"I try."

**Orbot and Cubot joined in with the laughter this time.**

" **Hilarious!" Sticks managed to choke out.**

**Sonic took another chance. "Listen, Eggman and I switched bodies somehow. He's me, and I'm him!"**

"You're just repeating the same thing over and over again, other me! Tell them that you know about something like how the Gogobas trapped you, or heck, even Buster!"

"Gogobas?" Rouge threw her question at Sonic, not having heard that word before. "What are they?"

The robot shook his head at the frustrating memory. "More like _who._ They're a group of villagers who use guilt to kidnap people and to break into someone else's home." Rouge looked more confused than when she first asked the question. Sonic nodded. "Yep. No lies there."

Rouge slowly blinked. "That dimension is growing more interesting by the minute…" Not too interesting that she would stay any longer than she had to. Absolutely not. She was out as soon as she got her body back.

"Interesting is _not_ the word I'd use," Eggman mumbled, and for once, Shadow could agree with him.

**Knuckles laughed even harder, and Eggman secretly pulled out a pie from somewhere before throwing it at his own face.**

" **Ow!" Eggman cried out, staggering back a bit. He pointed at the human. "Eggman threw a pie at me!"**

" **Huh?" Sonic shook his head. "No I didn't!"**

**Eggman clenched a fist. "Let's send this miscreant packing!"**

**All of the crew except Eggman charged a panicking Sonic.**

Tails gaped. "I...have no words…"

Knuckles huffed. "How about 'let's get your twin here as soon as possible'."

**Sonic hastily ducked a boomerang Sticks threw at him only for it to come back and trip him up when he tried to run.**

**Amy ran up and hit Sonic right on the head with her hammer. Disoriented, Sonic crawled backwards until he ran into Knuckles' legs. The echidna scowled down at him, cracking his namesakes.**

Amy puffed out her cheeks, wanting to jump in and defend the hedgehog-turned-human. "He doesn't deserve any of that! 'Eggman' hadn't even _done_ anything to them this episode yet!"

"That's true!" Tails recalled the second episode and shivered uncomfortably. That onsie would haunt him in his nightmares. "With the sleepover episode, the other Amy was _all_ about proving Eggman was a 'good guy', and she even helped him out with a lair make-over! _Now_ she wants to brutally attack him after just showing his face?"

They were always dogging the other Knuckles, but Rouge wondered if the other _Amy_ was alright in the head.

Amy sighed. "I'd _love_ to teach her a common sense lesson with my hammer! Just once!"

**Orbot, who was observing this trainwreck, faced his partner. "Perhaps it's time to bid our foes adieu."**

" **No time!" Cubot argued. "We gotta get outta here!"**

**He started up the hovercraft as Orbot hopped into it. They flew after Sonic, who was trying to get away from Knuckles.**

" **No!" Sonic frantically looked over his shoulder at the echidna. "I'm Sonic! You gotta believe me!" The vehicle picked Sonic up with some kind of attraction ray, causing Knuckles to miss his tackle. They flew off back to the base.**

Knuckles knew it was pointless to question the other doctor, but he just couldn't help it. "Eggman didn't even attack Sonic! What's the point of keeping the act up if he doesn't _do_ anything?"

"The only thing he does is hang out with the heroes." Sonic produced a scoff. "I wouldn't be surprised that he was jealous of my double. I mean, anyone would be lonely without any friends. Aren't I right, Egghead?"

"Rodent, I hope you realize that _one day_ you will wake up with your world falling apart all around you. One day, I will rule and you will be worth the same as the dirt under my feet. One day-"

" _You_ will wake up and realize that it was all an idiotic dream."

Sonic had to admit that he was proud of Metal for that one. Not caring about his current out-of-body experience for a second, he leaned over a bit and held up a hand; Metal clapped it without hesitation.

Eggman held his head in his hands.

Rouge let him wallow in his sorrows this time.

" **With my body at his disposal, Eggman's just too powerful!" Sonic admitted, now inside the base. "How can I take on the fastest hedgehog on the world…" He pointed to himself. "Like** _ **this?"**_

" **Ahem." Cubot gained his attention before gesturing at the opening door. A horde of robots marched through of different shapes and sizes.**

**Sonic smirked. "Oh yeah."**

"Huh…" Tails leaned forward a tad, interested in what's to come. "I wonder how this is going to work out?" Sonic wasn't going to outright attack his friends, so what was he going to do with with robots? Single Eggman out?

"The better question is where in the heck is your twin." Knuckles crossed his arms. "He's been at that meteor the whole time!"

"Running tests is an extensive process, Knuckles!"

**Back with the crew, Eggman grinned. "Did you see the look on his face when he ran off?"**

" **He looked ridiculous!" Knuckles sloshed around the drink in his hand. "** _ **Especially**_ **with that stupid mustache."**

**Eggman's eyes narrowed. "Alright, Noodles. That's enough."**

Metal, tilting his head back to pour the last bits of chips into his mouth, nearly choked as a chuckle escaped his throat.

Knuckles frowned at him. "Stop. It wasn't funny."

Sonic looked back at the former bot. "Metal, I thought that you _stopped_ trying to kill me."

"Do not blame me. The doctor called the echidna _Noodles_."

**Sticks suddenly stiffened, her eyes darting back and forth. "Whoa...did you guys feel that?"**

**Amy looked at her before paying attention to her cup beside her. There were miniature waves in the juice. The vibrations grew more violent, the anthros not questioning it now.**

**They glanced in the direction they think it's coming from only to see the Mega robot easily pushing down trees as it raced towards them.**

**The other smaller bots soon joined the massive one on the beach, posing a threat.**

**Sonic was above in the hovercraft. He ordered, "Remember, warning shots only! I don't want anyone hurt, got it?"**

Shadow rolled his eyes. "Warning shots or not, no one would get hurt."

Metal eyed the cookie box in Amy's lap. He reached over and snatched a handful, getting a couple crumbs on Knuckles and ignoring his glare. "Accurate," he responded to Shadow's statement, thinking about how these processed foods were so pleasing as he bit into his stolen goods.

"You can take them back, you know!" Amy patted her stomach as he held out the box. "I've gotten my fill, and I don't feel so sleepy anymore!"

Metal eagerly took them. "I apologize for a fourth of the negative comments I have ever said about you."

Amy furrowed her brow. "Uh...thanks?"

**None of the robots moved.**

**Sonic furrowed his brow. "Well, what are you waiting for?"**

**Orbot met his gaze. "We're programmed only to obey orders after being threatened."**

**Sonic sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.**

Eggman could sympathize. He just wished that he could go _one_ episode without wanting to strangle his twin. He had a feeling that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

" **Alright then…" He rose his voice. "Nobody gets hurt, or somebody's gonna get hurt!"**

" **Yes sir!" Orbot and Cubot said in unison before motioning for the other robots to attack.**

"Wow."

"If it works, it works, Knux."

**Amy was quick to destroy the first bot that approached her, her hammer smashing the metal.**

**Eggman flinched. "Oh come on! Do you have any idea how much those cost? I mean, between the parts and labor-" Amy swung at a Beebot, shattering it to pieces. Eggman slumped. "Aw, jeez…"**

"Speaking of that…" Tails tapped his chin, glancing at the doctor. "How _do_ you get the money and resources to build your robots and bases? You replenish them like it's nothing!"

"It's _none_ of your business, rodent!" There was no way Eggman was going to share his success in stocks because _somehow_ they would find a way to screw him over and have him living in a cardboard box on the street. "And it isn't 'like it's nothing'! Each loss hurts me financially!"

"And emotionally." Sonic didn't miss a beat.

"I did _not_ say that, you walking pincushion!"

"But it was implied, Eggy."

" _You_ were implied!" Eggman immediately regretted his anger-fueled words, laughter echoing in the room.

Rouge smirked. "That was a good one, doctor. I should write that down somewhere."

Eggman sank more into the couch cushion, a heavy sigh escaping him.

**While Sticks used her boomerang to take down the machines, Knuckles was using raw force, stomping and punching anything in his way.**

**The echidna ran up to the Mega, and Sonic was struggling to control it. He ended up smacking himself out of the hovercraft, landing right on Eggman.**

Knuckles snorted. "That's one way to do it."

**Cubot and Orbot winced. "He's gonna be feelin' that tomorrow…" the former whispered.**

**Eggman couldn't free himself, and Amy noticed. "Hey! Eggman crushed Sonic!"**

**Knuckles turned from a destroyed robot. "Get him!"**

**Back at the crater, Tails was still there.**

Tails smiled. "Here we go!"

**He was scanning the meteor, swatting away a fly buzzing around his head.**

**However, he was drawn away from the readings when a lizard crawled on the rock. It used its tongue to try to eat the fly, but it kept missing. The flu eventually landed on the meteor, and when it did, purple lightning flowed through the lizard and the fly.**

**The lizard then flapped its arms to attempt to fly, and the fly was seemingly angry at the reptile.**

**Tails watched them walk off. "Wow...did they just switch** _**brains** _ **?"**

"And there it is! The revelation!" Tails exclaimed. "Now he could tell the others what he found!"

Knuckles nodded. "They'll believe him too because he's _Tails_."

Metal frowned as he peered down at his own body, a building pressure inside gaining his attention. "What is this feeling I have? It is similar to a pressure below my stomach."

Everyone looked at him for a moment before it clicked.

Sonic froze. _Okay, maybe the soda was a bad idea…_

Tails was severely concerned for the condition of his sofa. "That feeling is you having to use the bathroom!" He quickly explained, Knuckles looking extremely uncomfortable now. Tails' gaze was a mix of stern and petrified. "And...And if you ruin my couch, you're paying for another one!"

"...I could simply steal another if you wish."

Rouge covered her mouth to stifle her giggles.

"Look, Metal." Sonic started, hoping that they didn't have much longer before they switched back. "Just hold it until the show's over! Can you do that?"

"I can do anything you can better."

Sonic took that as a yes. "Good! So now we can just-"

"...Uh, guys? I don't think I should've drank that soda, because I gotta go too…"

The gazes switched to Amy — who looked embarrassed — and Rouge couldn't retain her mirth anymore. While she laughed, Knuckles got off that danger zone of a couch, took a few steps, and the extra weight of his tails caused him to crash to the ground.

He wasn't mad though. At least he was safe.

Shadow hadn't taken his eyes off Amy, his glare heated. "The hell you do!"

"Don't yell at me!" Amy snapped, wiggling a bit in her seat. That soda was a _really_ bad idea... "It's not like I _want_ to go to the bathroom in your body!"

The pink hedgehog whipped his head in the blue hedgie's direction and barked out, "Metal, how much longer until this damn episode ends?"

Metal shrugged.

"Faker!"

"How in the heck am I supposed to — two minutes, ten seconds."

"That's _such_ a long time!" Amy whined.

"Rose, you are staying _there._ " Shadow nearly snarled. "Hold it!"

Tails glanced between the pink and black before lingering on the latter. "...What I said before goes for you too, Amy!"

Rouge wished that she had been recording that whole conversation. She would've made millions.

**At the fight, everyone paused when a honk pierced the air. They all turned to see Tails riding up in his own mobile. Eggman and Sonic had gotten to their feet.**

" **Sonic is Eggman, Eggman is Sonic!" Tails shouted as he parked.**

Knuckles remained in his laying down position, not paying any more attention to the disaster behind him. "It's about time."

**Eggman, seeing the meteor in the back of Tails' mobile, zoomed over and took it. He went too fast though, bouncing against the vehicle and landing by a tree with the rock.**

" **Wait…" Knuckles spoke up. "What did Tails say?"**

**Eggma waved him off. "Oh, nothing!" He stood up, meteor still in his grip. "You know Tails! Always the jokester." He chuckled, but when multiple glares were aimed at him, he stopped.**

"Even _he_ 's not stupid enough to keep up the act." Eggman shook his head at the sight of another defeat. They only had two minutes left, and he doubted his twin could take over in that amount of time.

Metal peered over at Amy, who was letting out nearly inaudible whimpers. "It is not that uncomfortable. Stop overreacting."

"If you don't want me to punch you in the face _again_ , Metal, hush!"

He remembered the pain and decided that he would let her suffer in peace.

**Tails took this time to explain. "When Eggman and Sonic touched the meteor, they switched brains!"**

**Amy gasped in surprise.**

Knuckles deadpanned. "Oh yeah, _big_ surprise."

**Cubot threw his hands up in the air. "How come nobody told** _ **me?"**_ **Orbot patted him in comfort.**

" **In order to swap back," Tails continued, "they both need to touch the meteor again!"**

"I wish that _we_ had a special meteor," Sonic commented.

"Yeah…" Tails subtly looked at Amy. "Especially right now…"

**Eggman tossed the rock to the ground with a wicked grin.**

**Sonic frowned. "Come** _**on** _ **, Eggman. Just touch this and give me my body back!"**

" **You can't make me!" Eggman tainted. "I'm the fasted evil genius on the** _ **planet!"**_ **He sped past off of them to an empty spot on the beach. "Now I'm here!" He zipped to a slightly closer spot. "Now I'm there!" He then twirled closer, laughing. "Nothing can make me touch your stupid purple rock!"**

"That would've been more intimidating if he hadn't just _twirled._ "

Knuckles propped his head up and responded to Rouge, "Eggman would be more intimidating in general if he didn't do a lot of things."

" **Nothing?" Sonic asked before smirking. "Not even…" He pulled one side of his mustache taut and held a pair of scissors close to it. "...a close shave?"**

Eggman stiffened, eyes wide.

Rouge hummed loud enough for the former human to hear. "You _are_ overdue for a trim. Mind if I-"

" _Yes!_ " It took Eggman years to grow his mustache out, and he took are of it everyday like it was his own _child._ "Don't you dare touch it!" His voice had gone up a few octaves.

Rouge held her hands up innocently, glint in her gaze anything but. "Calm down, doctor. It was a simple question. No need to get so defensive, hm?

He felt the embarrassment flow through his system, hearing chuckles once again aimed at him. His voice was back to normal. "You are the _worst_ , bat."

"So I've heard."

**Eggman glared. "You wouldn't** _**dare** _ **."**

**Sonic wasn't fazed. "Oh I would dare!" He moved the scissors into prime snipping position.**

**Eggman couldn't maintain his glare, concern etching into his features.**

**Sonic rose a brow. "So Eggman, what's it gonna be? The speed or the 'stache?"**

Sonic knew this episode was as good as over. "He's done for."

**Eggman was losing steam, becoming more worried by the second. Sonic stepped on the meteor and pushed it forward.**

**The blue hedgehog couldn't hold out any longer. He lunged forward, yelling "Stop!" at the top of his lungs. As soon as he touched the rock, purple filled the screen.**

**The next shot was Sonic, back in his own body, playing volleyball with the rest of his friends.**

_Please be over soon, please be over soon, please be over soon…!_

Those were Amy's thoughts as she rocked back and forth.

**Eggman was watching them from his lair. "So close… I was** _ **so**_ **close to finally defeating Sonic!" The human was in a chair at his desk.**

"He _was…_ " Tails agreed. "For about a minute or two."

**From behind him, Orbot and Cubot were chuckling to themselves.**

" **What are you two laughing at?" Eggman asked, nearly growling.**

" **Nothing, boss!" Cubot placated.**

**Eggman did growl this time, turning around in his chair, revealing the same Sonic mark on his head as before.**

**The robots fell on the floor laughing, unable to hold it in.**

They were all silent for a moment, watching the TV fade to black.

They sat for a good thirty seconds, and nothing happened.

"Oh no…" Amy was officially freaking out now. "Ohnoohnoohno _ohno!_ "

Metal furrowed his brow. "This is...mildly concerning."

"Only _mildly?!_ I have to pee in a boy's _body!_ "

"Amy…" Tails blinked in surprise at the glossiness of her eyes. "Amy, are you crying?"

"No!" She violently wiped her face. "I'm not crying, you're crying!"

Eggman knew it was bad since she had reduced to using his type of horrible comeback.

Shadow growled. "Stop making me cry, dammit!"

"I'm not crying!"

Rouge frowned, though she was amused by Amy's situation, she was _still_ stuck in an aging man's body. "What do we need to do to get it to reverse us back? Watch another episode?" _Please_ no.

"Yeah...I doubt they'll make it," Knuckles bobbed his head in Amy's and Metal's direction.

" _I_ won't be able to make it in this tin can!" Sonic hit his head on the couch. "This is stupid! We watched the episode, so _why-_ "

A bright white light blinded them.

Amy released a loud relieved sigh when the horrible pressure stopped, leaning heavily against the couch. She saw her pajamas, her hammer, and her own precious body. She couldn't keep in the laugh. "We're back! It returned us to our bodies!"

"It should've never taken us _out_ of them!" Eggman growled, stretching his arms because he was _allowed_ to now.

Tails sat up on the floor, looking over his visible fingers. "I got _really_ worried for a second there!"

Knuckles threw a couple sharp punches into the air, loving that he was freed of those noodle arms. "Who wasn't?"

Rouge got to her feet. She felt a hundred percent healthier as she went to retrieve her boots that Eggman had monstrously tossed earlier. "If there are _any_ scuffs on these…" she muttered to herself as she examined them.

Metal took a cookie from the box and held it up to his face. He then stared at Eggman. "Why did you overlook giving me a mouth, doctor?"

Eggman huffed. "Well, I'm _sorry_ Metal for not remembering to give a weapon of mass destruction _taste buds!_ "

"...the Ultimate Lifeform has them."

Shadow himself wasn't listening to their conversation, too busy wiping any hints of tears from his face and cursing the existence of emotions.

Sonic would've danced upon returning to his old body — breathing and having a heart beat was so _nice_ — but he had more pressing matters to take care of. He turned to Shadow, raising a brow. "You goin' first?"

Shadow scowled at him before calming standing up and heading in the direction of the bathroom, the blanket falling to the floor.

"Well, it's been fun-"

"Don't lie."

The bat playfully glared at Knuckles as she finished putting on her boots. "-but I'm going to go before anything else happens. There's only so much of _that_ a girl like me can take."

"Find us a way out of here, _please!_ " Amy pleaded, not wanting to go through another round of torture.

Rouge winked at her. "That's the plan, hon. That, and bringing Shadow some coffee back because he's going to crash sooner or later." She strolled over to the front door, her pace quicker than normal. She released the breath she'd been holding when the door willingly opened up. "Keep watching the show though, in case I come up empty."

"You better _not_ , bat!" Knuckles exclaimed. This house was nothing but horrors.

She grinned at him. "Don't worry too much, sugar. I'll make sure that the Master Emerald's in safe hands."

"Rouge!"

The door slammed behind her.

While Knuckles groaned, Tails stood up and jogged over to the exit of the home. He tugged on the door, but it didn't budge. He slumped. He knew it had been wishful thinking, but… "We can't leave still…"

"But that's okay!" Sonic smiled reassuringly at him, happy to have a mouth again. "We'll get outta here soon enough!" His blue ears twitched at the sound of Shadow's return. He hopped to his feet as Shadow sat back down.

Amy saw the scowl on the black hedgie's muzzle and remembered how unnatural some of her own facial expressions felt while she was controlling his body. "You know Shadow, it's okay to have more than one emot-"

"Don't."


	16. Chapter 16

"Create me an organic body, doctor." Metal ordered this as he settled on the couch beside Shadow, the cookie he had picked up earlier still in his hand. The robot already missed the taste of the great dessert, yearning for its sweetness again.

Knuckles – more than glad that the whole body switching thing was over (having the strength of a potato was aggravating) – grabbed the discarded cookie box and plopped down beside the robot. He was a bit sad that the box was almost empty. Amy had gone to town with these. "You _might_ be asking for too much," he said, stuffing a cookie into his mouth.

Eggman huffed as Tails sat in the middle of him and Amy, taking the only spot left. "Might be? Is not being the most powerful robot _ever-_ "

"Ever heard of Omega?"

Eggman ignored Shadow and continued, "-good enough for you?"

Metal crushed the cookie in his palm, and Tails dejectedly sighed. Sure, there were no uh… _stains_ on the couch, but that didn't mean that crumbs were welcomed. "It would have been if you had included the capacity to taste. You could have easily made me like the Ultimate-"

The doctor threw his arms in the air in exasperation. "Well, I _apologize_ for not thinking about mixing DNA of a pest and an _alien_ that are _so_ common around here together when I had gotten the idea to build you!"

"Apology not accepted."

Eggman needed to strangle _something._

If Metal had noticed the doctor's sudden homicidal tendencies, he didn't mention it. "If your ancestor had done it, you could have as well."

Shadow scoffed, crossing his arms when one of his fingers began to subtly twitch. He brushed it off as nothing. "You'd still be nothing compared to me."

"I am not talking to you."

Eggman leaned forward, glaring. "Right, Metal. Sure! Let me just call up my _dead grandfather_ and see if he's up for sharing his secrets."

"I sense sarcasm, and I do not appreciate it."

"I'm back!" Sonic zipped back into the living room, done with his business in the bathroom. "What did I miss?"

Amy had been listening to the conversation, thinking that all grocery stores within the five-mile radius would be cleared out if Metal ever got his wish. "Metal wants Eggman to make him into a real boy!"

Sonic snorted in jest, emerald irises finding Metal. "Really? So you verbally admit that we are better than robots?" He snickered. "I never thought I'd see the day! I guess you _can_ be wrong after all!"

Metal swiveled his focus onto the blue speedster. "Do not push me, copy. I can still gut you and wear your pelt."

"But you know what pain feels like, so you won't! And you'll spare me because we're friends!"

"We are not-"

Shadow rolled his eyes. "Don't waste your breath. You could do anything from here on out, and Faker would still think you are his friend."

Metal stared at him. "…I cannot breathe, and therefore I never waste my breath."

"You know what meant, dammit."

Sonic wasn't going to argue that because yeah he was still friends with Shadow even after the time when the guy basically contemplated wiping out the entire human race. Both alone and with the help of an alien tentacle monster.

The blue hero then frowned when he turned his attention to Knuckles, who was eating the last cookie of the box and – more importantly – sitting in Sonic's seat. "C'mon, Knux! You know I was sittin' there!"

The echidna shrugged, throwing the box at Sonic's face only for the hedgie to skillfully dodge it. "You snooze, you lose."

"That doesn't apply when you have to go to the bathroom!" Sonic side-eyed Metal. " _Thanks_ for that, by the way."

"Do not blame me for the good taste of caffeinated beverages."

Tails saw Knuckles thinking of a response to Sonic, and his mouth opened before he could stop it. "Move your feet, lose your seat?"

Sonic gaped. "Tails!"

Knuckles smirked, bobbing his head in the kit's direction. "What he said."

"You can have my seat, Sonic!" Amy offered excitedly, raising her hand. "Then I can sit on your lap, and-"

"You know what? The floor's just fine!" Sonic plopped down right where he had been standing, a cloud of confetti puffing up. "Look at all of this confetti and oh!" The hedgehog saw a green thing on the floor and picked it up. "A thawed pea! Remember that bag of peas I nearly choked on? Yeah, good times!" His laugh was a bit forced as he searched for the remote. "Can we get this thing rolling?"

Amy huffed, lowering her arm. She bet the other Sonic and Amy shared seats _all_ the time.

"Before we do…" Eggman answered, ideas bouncing around in his mind. Metal's sudden desire to become living was interesting. He zeroed in on the blue robot. "Metal, if you let me reset your mission objective, then I will guarantee you a living body."

_Oh no…_ was the collective thought around the room. Metal just threatened Sonic over _friendship_ , so this might not end well.

"Whoa whoa!" Sonic held his hands out, glancing from Eggman to his robotic copy. Metal had just become bearable, and Sonic was a _little_ concerned that food might take that away. This is the only time he wished food wasn't as amazing as it was. "You can't seriously believe him, Mets!"

Metal shook his head. He knew better than that. "I do not."

"Whew." Sonic slumped in relief.

Knuckles snorted. "And I thought that the leash would have to make a comeba-"

"I will kill my copy _after_ you grant me life."

Sonic threw his arms up in exasperation. "Come _on_ , Mets! Is food really that good?" Metal just gave him a look, and Sonic sighed. "Yeah, don't answer that."

Tails' ears drooped as he bit the inside of his cheek. "I thought it was too good to be true…"

Eggman folded his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes at Metal. "And you _really_ think that I trust you to do that?"

Metal's opticals flashed, gaze level. "I could ask the same question, doctor."

"Wait…" Amy furrowed her brow. "Eggman, didn't you _just_ say that there was no way you could give him a real-"

"I just thought of a way!" Eggman lied straight through his teeth. It was so blatant that he was surprised that he hadn't been struck by lightning for that one. "So be _quiet_ , you pink nuisance!"

"There's _no_ reason to be rude!" Amy glared at him before she looked over at Metal. "He's definitely lying, you know."

"I figured."

Sonic slowly clapped, making sure that his sarcasm was heard by all. " _Great_ try there, Eggy. Thinking on the fly like that? I'm proud!"

Eggman wondered what it was like _not_ having to fight headaches all the time.

"Shut _up_ and play the blasted show before I ask the _thing_ for us to switch bodies again."

Everyone quieted then – the risks of that being _way_ too high – and Sonic grabbed the remote since he was closest to it. Shuddering at the thought of being a robot for a second time, he pressed play.

**The scene started off in a forest, and there were sounds of a battle going on off-screen until a piece of a robot crashed onto the ground. It was white and resembled a tail.**

Sonic chuckled. "Looks like Eggy's losing early in this one!"

Tails was relieved that the topic of Metal becoming real was dropped. Having – technically – two Sonic's running around would be exhausting…and just _think_ of the damages. "Well, he did almost win last episode, so-"

"Almost?" Knuckles barked out a laugh. "He was halfway at _best_."

"Halfway? Where are you getting that from?" Amy argued. "The only reason Eggman lost was because he didn't want to lose the last bit of hair he has!"

Eggman had always hated that trait he got from his genetics. His grandfather could've been smart with a full head of hair but _no…_

Knuckles shook his head. "The only – did you _not_ watch the last episode? Yeah, Eggman was controlling Sonic's body, but all he wanted were milkshakes! And _yes_ , I know milkshakes are great, but still." Sonic and Amy but closed their mouths. "Eggman, what's the first thing you would do if-"

"Destroy every single one of you."

Shadow couldn't hold in a scoff. "You could try, doctor."

"See? That's the thing!" Knuckles went on, "Our Eggman would _try_ while the other would rather frolic in some daisies."

Tails saw his point. "Yeah…the other Eggman has serious priority issues." The kit glanced over to the human in the room, tapping his chin in thought. "Don't think I'm weird or crazy for saying this, but…I think you'd actually _win_ if you were in the other dimension."

"I'm taking that as a compliment," Eggman quickly said before any pest could twist it into something undesirable. "If only I could _get_ over there…" he muttered to himself.

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Well yeah! I mean, if something as crazy at the _luck balance of the universe_ exists over there, then anything impossible could happen!"

"Like me actually being a toaster?"

"Exactly! Sorry Mets, but don't set your hopes too high."

**Eggman marched up to it, not looking too happy. Then, the hero gang was shown watching on, smug in their victory. The doctor scowled. "You may have defeated my Scorpionbot, but I've got one more trick up my sleeve!" He pressed a button on his wrist, and a large satellite rolled out into the open. It began to charge. "Just give it a sec," Eggman said, looking back at his device. "Needs to warm up."**

"He…couldn't have charged it before revealing that it was there?"

"Let's not question him this once, Ames. Let's just soak in this satisfying intro."

**Sonic spin-dashed the machine the second after. He planted a cocky smirk on his muzzle as he walked by Eggman. "Still waiting on that 'trick'."**

Sonic smirked. "Gotta love awesome one-liners."

Knuckles nudged his back with his foot. "I bet you're jealous of him."

"Jealous? Why would I be…that's cold, Knux."

**The human clenched his fists before slumping. He sighed as he dragged his feet over to his hovercraft. He boarded it and flew away without another word.**

Eggman was glad that his twin was feeling how he had been feeling the whole time he'd been in this house.

"Guess that all of his loses finally caught up to him!" Sonic got comfortable on the floor, laying down and getting _away_ from Knuckles' judgmental foot. "Maybe he'll give it up and just work at Meh Burger or something."

Amy shuddered at the sound of that place. "Hopefully not, for our sake!" She then frowned. "And my double better not act as his therapist again!"

**Sonic stared after him for a moment and then asked, "Is it just me, or is Eggman not been bringing his A-game lately?"**

" **Maybe** _ **our**_ **A-game makes his A-game look like a** _ **Z**_ **-game! Oh, that's** _ **much**_ **worse if you understand the alphabet," Knuckles answered. After a second, confusion flashed across his face as he scratched his head. "Isn't It?"**

Knuckles wished that Rouge was here – and he didn't think that often – because that… _that_ was the definition of ridiculous. But then again, what did he expect? His double _was_ illiterate…

Sonic threw a smirk over his shoulder. "No comment about that, Knux?"

"I have too many, and that's why I'm not saying anything."

**Tails shrugged, properly replying to Sonic's question. "It does kinda feel like Eggman's just going through the motions." The azure speedster put a hand on his hip in thought.**

"No no no!" Sonic jabbed a finger at the screen. "No, you stop it! Stop it right now! Don't you _dare_ think! It's easy!"

"Speaking from experience, copy?"

"At least I have a _brain_ , Metal!"

"My microchips are equivalent-"

"Who was whining about not being able to taste a few minutes ago?"

"…I do not whine, and that was uncalled for."

**In the evil lair, Eggman was still hunched over and clearly depressed over his loss. He grumbled lowly to himself as he shuffled over to his couch. Collapsing onto it, the doctor picked up his remote and pressed the power button. Nothing happened.**

" **Another fine piece of Eggman technology…" He breathed out as he fiddled with the device until the television turned on.**

"He really is out of it, huh?" Tails commented, not sure how to feel about this. "That's kinda sad…"

"That's not sad. What's sad is that Rouge isn't back yet with our escape route." Shadow grunted, glaring at the television as his foot unconsciously tapped against the floor. "What's also sad is that we're going through some kind of new-grade torture that I shouldn't be on the receiving end of."

Amy narrowed her eyes at him. "You mean _we_ , right?"

"Sure."

**Eggman languidly flipped through the channels. His attention was soon caught by the image of a basketball stadium.**

**A white eagle popped up on Eggman's TV screen holding a basketball. "Are you born to soar like an eagle but just cannot get off of the ground?" The bird ran and dunked the ball.**

"So he's like a motivational speaker? Yes!" Sonic couldn't be happier. He wouldn't have to see their doubles play therapist and probably think of another sleepover and that onesie would've made another appearance and just _no_. "Eggman can dump all of his problems on him!"

"We're still forced to hear it though," Knuckles grumbled. "And the last thing I want to listen to is an elderly man spouting his insecurities."

Eggman's mustache flared, severely affronted. "I am _not_ elderly, rodent!"

"Tell that to your hair…oh wait."

"I have _bad_ _genes!_ "

" **I was!" Eggman exclaimed before sinking into the cushions. "But I can't…"**

**The actor was now using a jetpack to fly through a mountain range. A feminine voice narrated, "You can soar like an eagle!"**

Tails could make a fairly educated guess here. "I'm assuming that he's an eagle…?"

"There's no need to assume!" Amy played with the hem of her pajamas, and she wanted to hit herself for not telling Rouge to bring her a change of clothes. The agent would be back soon. Hopefully. "He practically said it like two times already."

**Eggman leaned forward, expression brightening. "I can?"**

**A dojo was in the background now. "Were you born to soar like an eagle-**

"Three times."

**-but obstacles just get in your way?" The bird karate chopped a wooden board in half.**

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "What was he trying to prove there? That obstacles are as easy to get rid of as the terribly thin piece of fake-wood placed in front of you?"

Tails nodded. "Yeah, that's probably what he's going for." He sent the echidna a small grin. "Motivational speakers tend to motivate, you know."

Knuckles saw Sonic give the kit a proud smile, and he inwardly groaned. He should separate those two more often. Maybe he should take Tails to a gym or something.

**The doctor was subtly frowning. "I already answered that, and yes!"**

**The bird gestured to himself. "I'm Soar the Eagle-**

Amy felt extremely validated.

**-and I can show you how to be the best 'you' you can be! My amazing seminar will show you how to soar like an eagle!"**

Knuckles groaned. "If he says that _one_ more time…"

**Eggman was completely enraptured in this commercial.**

"Say Eggy…" Sonic glanced over at the doctor, and Eggman already felt exasperated before the other had really said anything. "You've been losin' a lot to us for the past few years, so…do you want to soar like an eagle?"

Knuckles snorted. "He'll barely get off the ground."

Eggman ignored the red menace, glaring at Sonic. "Do you want to get _smooshed_ like an annoying little _ant?_ "

Sonic tisked, shaking his head back and forth. "Such violence. Is this all your repressed aggression from your failures coming out?"

"I could easily use my files to locate a psychiatrist," Metal said.

Eggman growled. "If you send me a _shrink_ , the next time you'll see them is in a _robot's body!_ "

It was silent for a moment before Amy giggled. "You were right, Sonic! His losses are _totally_ getting to him!"

The human swallowed a tortured shout as he ran his hands down his face.

**Soar wasn't done yet. He pointed to a flashing phone on screen as he explained, "Call now to put me through your next corporate event, wedding, or sweet sixteen!"**

"Okay…" Tails figured that Soar was naming random events now. "He might be a little desperate…"

Knuckles scoffed. "Only a little?"

**Eggman's interest was through the roof.**

**There was a scene change, and Soar was standing on a stage, smiling. "Who's ready to soar like an eagle?"**

Sonic was getting flashbacks of when he first met Silver, but at least now he wasn't getting tossed into a building every ten seconds.

Though, being _stuck_ in a building with the broken record was almost as bad.

**Eggman, the lone audience member in the room, waved his hand back and forth. "Ooo! Me! I am!" He excitedly clapped.**

"Who would pay to see Eggman act like a kindergartener?" Knuckles asked.

Tails, Amy, and Sonic raised their hands.

Metal produced a huff. "The doctor already does."

"Not quite." Shadow raked his fingers through his quills, not noticing their subtle tremble. "Or else I would've been put him in a mental institution."

"I would've checked _myself_ in," Eggman muttered lowly.

**Soar didn't seem put-off by this. "Well then my mustachioed friend! For the next thirty-eight hours, I'm going to show you how to make today the best day of your life! Until tomorrow comes, at which point,** _**that** _ **will be the best day of your life!"**

"He's…not wrong." Tails wondered how many gigs Soar actually managed to get.

**Eggman hastily nodded, smiling widely.**

**The human was on the stage now, and Soar pointed to him, yelling, "Are** _**you** _ **going to accept failure?"**

" **No!"**

"I mean, it doesn't matter if he accepts it or not, it's gonna happen," Sonic pointed out.

" **Are** _ **you**_ **going to let obstacles get in your way?"**

" **No!"**

" **Are** _ **you**_ **going to push yourself to the limit?"**

" **No!" Eggman blinked, rethinking his response. "Wait, I mean yes?"**

Tails snickered. "That was a Freudian slip if I've ever heard one."

Amy joined in. "It's like his body knows that he's going to give up before _he_ does!"

" **Never second guess yourself!" Soar advised. "'No' is the correct answer because you're pushing** _ **past**_ **the limit! So, what are you gonna do?"**

"Technically, it is impossible to exceed beyond 100%."

"I push past my limit constantly!" Sonic opposed Metal. "I mean, people get better at what they do all the time! Well, except for a few exceptions."

"It's obvious that you're talking about _me_ , rodent! There's no point in being subtle!"

"Well, if bein' subtle makes you basically admit that you'll never get better, then I'm all for it!"

"I never _admitted_ anything!"

"You didn't argue against it though!"

Metal nodded at the human. "You did fail to argue."

"And _you're_ a failure of a robot!"

"That is relative."

Knuckles decided to hop into the conversation. "Eggman, if Metal is a failure of a robot, doesn't that make you a failure of a creator?"

Eggman had one for the echidna this time. "Well, do the times that I've stolen the Master Emerald make you a failure of a guardian?" he asked haughtily.

Knuckles gaped like a fish before shouting out, "No! No it doesn't!"

"I rest my case then!"

Knuckles crossed his arms and grumbled something that sounded like 'you still suck'.

" **Soar like an eagle!" Eggman said, sounding like he just had an epiphany.**

Amy softly gasped. "Oh no…it's spreading!"

" **Thank you everybody! You're all cleared for take-off!" Soar chuckled before leaning closer to Eggman and lowering his voice. "Who has my check?"**

Sonic chuckled. "Figures!"

"I wonder if he's anything like Barker?" Tails threw out there. "Like, he only does this to steal people's money or something?"

"Nah, not everyone in the village is evil, bud." Sonic paused. "Hopefully."

"It's like calling the Chaotix evil," Knuckles grunted.

"Well, Charmy _did_ destroy one of my ray guns the other day…" Tails trailed off.

"You know better than to leave stuff out around him."

**A while later, Eggman was admiring a table filled with Soar the Eagle merchandise. "What to buy?" He pondered. "It's all so uplifting…"**

**Eggman picked up a hat, and Soar slid over. "It's all great! You should buy all of it! But if you** _**really** _ **want the ultimate 'Soar the Eagle experience', might I interest you in the 'Stratosphere Package'? Which includes my services as your personal, live-in guru?"**

"He's _asking_ for a sleepover with Eggman?" Sonic snickered. "I hope he likes feathers as a midnight snack."

" **It's a deal!" Eggman answered immediately, holding out a hand. "Shake!"**

**Disgust etched into Soar's features. "Don't touch me."**

Tails blinked. "Oh."

"It's not surprising! All Eggmen stink-"

"Not _this_ again, you idiotic cactus!"

**It was the next day, and the human/bird duo were in the main room. Eggman was standing in front of a mirror. Soar was beside him, tone authoritative. "Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? WHAT DO YOU SEE?!"**

"Motivational speaker? More like a motivational yeller!" Amy giggled, but she paused when she didn't get a reaction from anyone else. "Hey come on, it was funny!"

Knuckles had to help her before she strayed too far. "I know you have this weird admiration for Sonic, Amy, but stay away from his genre of jokes."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

Knuckles disregarded the affronted speedster on the floor. "Just stay away."

"That wasn't even _my_ genre of joke though!" Sonic continued. "I didn't even think that one was funny!"

" _Hey!_ "

"I mean, uh…I breathed a little harder out of my nose?"

Amy pouted; however, she knew to listen to Knuckles. Silence and pity laughs after jokes were the worst. She couldn't fall to Sonic's level.

**Eggman was a bit startled. "Uh…A frightened man and a scary bird?"**

**Soar shook his head in disappointment. "We've got some work to do…"**

"Just take the money and run." Shadow suggested, his leg bouncing up and down. "Nothing he's paying you would be worth it."

**The two were then at Meh Burger, talking in front of the register.**

Amy inwardly shuddered. "Why _there_ of all places?" There had to be all kinds of health codes being violated. It couldn't be that hard to shut it down!

" **It's not easy to pull off those big-time evil victories! That's why we need to get some small successes under your belt!" Soar raised a fist. "To rebuild your confidence!"**

**Dave approached them, holding out a bag of food. "That'll be $7.95."**

Knuckles frowned. "Ugh, he's back?"

"Maybe it won't be for long?" Tails said with hope in his tone. He didn't know how that universe would handle a second Doomsday when the first was near catastrophic.

" **Now!" Soar shouted.**

**Eggman snatched the bag and ran off.**

" **Hey!" Dave hit the counter, upset. "Get back here!"**

That was probably the first time Eggman had been proud of his double in a long while.

**Soar and Eggman were flying over the village now, the bird with a jetpack and the doctor using his hovercraft.**

**The bird grinned at him. "No one will believe that you're evil if you don't** _**believe** _ **you're evil! Show yourself how evil you can be!"**

"So…" Amy tilted her head at the screen. "Soar's just fine in getting Eggman – who is an evil scientist that most likely will take over the village he lives in – back on his feet just for a few bucks?"

"It's better than our doubles doing it," Knuckles uttered. "For free."

**Eggman searched below them for targets and smirked. There were two kids – a monkey and a walrus – walking with treats in their hands. Eggman aimed and fired a laser at the walrus' lollipop. The monkey pointed and laughed.**

**Until his ice cream was instantly melted. His friend laughed as well.**

"A lollipop _and_ an ice cream cone?" Sonic narrowed his eyes. "He's sunk to a new low…"

**Elsewhere, the hero crew were gazing at a large yarn ball.**

**Knuckles breathed out in awe, the rest of them equally as impressed. "Wow, Amy…you weren't kidding! That's one big ball of twine!"**

Knuckles would've called his twin out on that, but _all_ of the heroes were enraptured. "…It's yarn. They're acting like they haven't seen better things in the past."

"Maybe they haven't?" Sonic folded his arms on the ground and propped his chin on them. "It's not everyday that you take on a water monster!"

"Or a lizard monster." Shadow added.

"Or a time monster!" Tails chirped.

"That's true." Knuckles partially ceded. "But…it's _yarn._ "

**Soar and Eggman were nearby, the latter holding a device with a red button on it. The human was unsure. "I'm not sure this'll work…"**

" **I'm not sure this'll** _ **work**_ **," Soar repeated in a mocking tone. Then his words turned harsh. "Well, if I wasn't a germaphobe, I'd slap you! Now, do as I say and show the world your greatness!"**

"Here's to hoping that Soar won't turn evil!" Because in Amy's eyes, the bird surely had the drive, attitude, and…volume to pose a bit of a threat.

**Eggman's nervousness disappeared as he jabbed the button. A mountain a distance away exploded, rocks breaking apart to resemble Eggman's face. The rocks tumbled down the steep hill right for the ball of twine. Villagers yelled as they ran away. Thinking on his feet, Sonic grabbed some yarn and wrapped it around two trees. The twine stopped the threatening boulders.**

Multiple pairs of mocking eyes fell on Knuckles, and the echidna rolled his own. "Shut up."

"But…it's _yarn_ , Knuckles."

"Tails, don't make me slap you."

**Now that they were out of danger, Amy allowed a smile to grow on her muzzle. "Eggman's been a lot more creative lately." She turned to Knuckles. "Don't you think?"**

"She's happy about that?" Amy couldn't figure out why. Creative was dangerous _especially_ for someone who wanted to enslave them all. "I seriously want to get a chance to have a conversation with her."

"Don't we all," Knuckles lowly added.

**Knuckles was grinning. "I try not to."**

Sonic couldn't hold in his laugh. "Okay Knux, say what you want about him, but he's hilarious!"

Knuckles didn't respond to the hedgie, hoping that no one had caught the single traitorous chuckle that escaped him. It hadn't been funny; it had been _unexpected_. There was a difference.

**Eggman was back in his base, dancing in the middle of the floor. "Eggman's got his groove back!"**

**Soar wasn't as enthused.**

Eggman wasn't at all. Why did he _have_ to dance?

" **Don't get ahead of yourself," he warned. "After all, we are only on step six of my thirty-one step system!"**

**Eggman whirled around to face him. "You're brining me down, bro." He stepped closer to the other. "You're like a wall that I need to** _**break** _ **through!"**

Eggman pinched the bridge of his nose while Sonic's obnoxious laughter filled the air. The doctor let out a steady breath, wondering if he should thank Soar for getting his twin out of that pathetic stage, or if he should curse him for introducing the word 'bro' in his vocabulary.

"Eggy, if your twin ever decides to _hang ten_ , I'm losin' it."

Eggman inwardly shuddered at the mental image of surfer shirts and horrible accents Sonic gave him. Cursing it was.

**Soar held up a hand. "Okay, obviously, you picked up a few things from my system. But you really have to listen to me!"**

" **No ho ho!" Eggman opposed, narrowing his eyes. "You listen to me! You're fired! I'll be the best 'me' I can be all on my own, thank you very much!" Eggman shooed the bird off as he strolled away.**

"Soar's just trying to help!" Amy frowned up at the screen. "I bet Eggman's going to regret that in less than five minutes!"

**Soar scowled. "If you think high self-esteem, confidence, and inner-peace are things that can be achieved without outside help, you sir are sadly mistaken!" The bird donned his jetpack and flew off.**

"…But they _can_ be achieved without outside help." Tails suddenly felt a bit of concern for the eagle. "Does anyone else think that something's off with Soar?"

"Yeah, like _he's_ the one who needs the motivational speaker," Knuckles said before groaning. "If that's the plot of a future episode I _swear._ "

"Doesn't matter," Shadow replied. "We won't be here to see it." Rouge would find a way out, and it would be _over._

**A couple minutes later, Eggman entered a room where Orbot and Cubot were reading a comic book.**

**The doctor had some pep in his step, his tone dripping with confidence. "Alright! I'm ready for take-off!" He then cupped his chin in thought. "But, where to begin? Should I build a transforming robot or a hypnotizing robot? Or an exploding robot? Or maybe I should develop an elaborate, convoluted, multi-step plot to destroy Sonic and all?"**

Amy shook her head, disappointed. "Not _even_ five minutes!"

Sonic shifted his attention to Eggman. "Is that the same thought processes that you go through when finding a way to lose to us?"

"No!" Eggman immediately responded, a little more heated than usual because there _were_ similarities between his and his twin's thoughts. However, his were surer and were not caused by a severe self-esteem drop…most of the time.

**Cubot floated in front of him. "Those all sound good boss!" he said as encouragement.**

"You know that your life is terrible when you need those abominations to boost your mood," Metal commented.

**Eggman pushed him out of the way. "I…can't decide. I'll think about it over lunch! But, what to eat?" He mused. "A sandwich? Noodles? Oatmeal? If only I had some guidance…" All of the confidence had leaked out of him by this point.**

_Serves him right_ , Amy grinned.

"Can one of those pests find him and slap him a few good times?" Eggman grumbled.

"Wait, so does that mean that Soar picked out his food?" Tails questioned. "This guy really needs some help."

" **Why don't you ask that charming, feathered fellow?" Orbot helpfully suggested. "He seems to be guiding you quite nicely."**

**Eggman scoffed. "I let him go. He was holding me back!"**

"Obviously." Sonic's sarcasm was palpable.

**He ambled off, muttering, "Well, I'm gonna nap. But where? My bed or the couch?"**

**Cubot and Orbot shared a look.**

"Do you have a problem, Ultimate Lifeform?"

Shadow turned his head toward Metal, a brow twitching upwards at the red gaze staring at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Your leg is violently vibrating."

Shadow's brow creased. "The hell are you-" His words got caught in his throat when he realized that Metal was telling the truth. His leg was bouncing up and down until he willed it to stop. And it did…only for his other leg to start moving. Shadow quietly growled before slamming his hands down on both knees. Though his eyes subtly widened when he felt that his fingers were trembling.

"Uh…" Sonic sat up from his laying position on the floor, eying his rival. "You okay there, Shads?"

Shadow scowled as all attention fell on him. He crossed his arms tightly against his body and glared at his traitorous legs that resumed their shaking. "I'm perfectly _fine,_ F-Faker." Shadow's mood plummeted at his stutter, believing that his whole body was against him now.

Knuckles watched Shadow try and fail to control his trembling limbs. "That looks anything _but_ fine. You went from being drowsy to acting like Charmy experiencing a sugar ru-" The echidna paused, eyes widening in realization. "Wow."

"I'm the _U-Ultimate Lifeform_." Shadow snarled. "I don't act like a _ch-child_ who had eaten too many brownies. My DNA should p-prevent that k-kind of-" He abruptly stood up and jabbed a shaking finger in a surprised pinkette's direction. "T-This is your fault! You _h-had_ to eat the whole damn _b-box!"_

"I didn't eat the _whole_ box!" Amy hastily defended herself. "I left a little for Metal!"

Shadow clenched his trembling fists. "You s-still filled me up with unnecessary sugar with the c-cookies and the d-damn soda and I c-can feel it coursing th-through my _v-veins_ and-" Shadow gripped his ears and pulled. "- _agghhhhhh!_ "

Tails saw Shadow slowly unhinge, the other starting to pace back and forth in front of the couch and raking both of his hands harshly through his quills. "I…don't know whether to laugh or be terrified."

Amy felt a little guilty, but it wasn't entirely her fault. "If you hadn't been so sleepy, then I wouldn't have to eat so much sugar to keep me up!"

Shadow whipped his head towards her, his left eye twitching, and she almost regretted speaking up. "Y-You're blaming _me_ for s-staying up _all_ night d-doing m-mandatory paperwork and b-being forced _here_ to watch some d-damn show?!" Shadow gestured to himself, baring his teeth. "Yeah, _I'm_ the o-one to blame h-here!"

While Amy gaped like a fish, Sonic had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. "This is _gold_ ," he whispered to himself, wishing that he was recording this because he knew that it would never happen again.

Unfortunately, Shadow had heard. The striped hedgie glared at him, a growl rumbling in his chest. "F-Faker…for once in y-your life, shut the _fu_ - _"_

"Whoa, Shads!" Sonic really couldn't take the other seriously when his voice cracked every two seconds. "Language! Don't want the kids repeating that, do ya?"

Shadow gritted his teeth. "S-Screw you."

"That's better! Great censorship!"

Shadow dug his fingers in his quills again and resumed his pacing.

Metal wondered how much sugar it actually took to reach that level of insanity. If he ever got a real body, he would avoid that level at all costs. "You could have stopped her from eating the cookies. You knew of her consuming them."

Shadow roared before leaping to behead the robot, itching to do something with his rebellious muscles.

"No, Shads!" Sonic called out. "Don't take Metal's head off! We'll be stuck!"

The striped hedgehog's fingers were an inch away from the bot's throat. The digits – along with the rest of Shadow's body – were trembling. Shadow glowered at the blue mech before shouting out and deciding to get rid of his sudden aggression another way.

With a yell, he gripped the bottom of the couch and flipped it.

Knuckles shouted in shock before landing hard on his back. "I didn't even do anything!" he groaned as he rolled over onto his knees, rubbing the abused area.

Eggman took in the vibrating hedgehog, the overturned couch, and the fluttering confetti. "This is actually happening." This wasn't some fever dream.

"Um…Shadow?" Tails began, hoping to stop any more destruction of his property. "To get rid of all your excess energy, maybe you should busy yourself with something? Like-" Before Tails could finish, Shadow had become a blur, circling the displaced sofa. A wind picked up that fluttered the confetti and made fur whip around crazily.

Knuckles grumbled as he stepped closer to the standing Metal, trying not to get hit with the force of a runaway train.

The next second, Shadow stopped in the middle of the floor. His quills were in disarray, and his eyes were wild. "It's n-not _working!_ "

Amy waved the confetti out of her face, more than glad that the sugar hadn't kicked in like _this_ when she had been in control of Shadow's body. Who _knew_ of the embarrassing things she could've done. "Is there another way can you get rid of a lot of energy like…all at once?"

Shadow blinked before peering down at his inhibitor rings.

Knuckles quickly made the connection, and his gut dropped. "Oh no…"

Shadow focused on all of them. "T-Take cover."

"C'mon, Shads!" Sonic hopped to his feet. "You can't-"

"Did I _s-stutter?"_

"Technically-"

" _Go!_ "

Tails hastily stood up and shook his hands in front of him as one-by-one, the golden rings fell to the floor. "No no no! Stop! This-This is our _house!_ You can't blow it up! It'll be nothing but debris!"

"Yeah!" Sonic agreed. "Nothing but…" He trailed off, a thought popping into his mind. "Nothing but _escapable_ debris!"

Knuckles, Amy, and Eggman instantly perked up at that, and Tails slowly blinked. The kit suddenly was airborne, his namesakes whirling behind him. "Everyone to Sonic's room! It's the farthest place away from the blast zone!"

There was a scramble to leave the leaving room, and Eggman swore that he'd never been this happy while running in his life.

Sonic led the way to his room, and he dove for the farthest corner. He tucked himself in it with Tails plopping down on one side of him, Amy taking occupancy on the other.

Amy giggled to herself as she huddled up to the blue hedgehog; it was a borderline cuddle and Sonic muttered, "Why are you like this," under his breath.

Knuckles was beside Tails. Eggman was going to sit to the echidna's right, but Knuckles held up a hand. "Wait a minute, Eggman! You sit in front of us four and Metal, you sit in front of him."

"Why in the world-" Eggman scowled once he understood. "I will _not_ be a human shield!"

"You're not! Metal's the shield and you're the back-up."

Metal looked between the seething human and the sitting echidna. "I do not wish to be dismantled."

Knuckles rolled his eyes at him. "We all know that you'll come back." Because it wouldn't be _completely_ on purpose. "And Eggman, you won't be hurt…as badly."

Before Eggman could oppose, a booming explosion rattled the entire home. The thundering noise made everyone – except for Metal, who believing that being a robot was better for these types of situations – cover their ears and close their eyes.

When it was over, they all blinked their eyes open expecting collapsed walls and the glorious heat of natural sunlight; however, all they saw was Sonic's untouched bedroom.

Knuckles clenched his fingers and glared up at the ceiling. "Really?!"

"Shadow's blasts can level a whole city block!" Amy's voice was close to a whine. "This place should be completely destroyed!"

Tails was conflicted. One on hand, his house was still intact, but on the other, they were still trapped. "Maybe…the living room's ruined?"

The group shared a look before running out. They sprinted down a perfectly structured hallway and reentered the living room. There was a collective gasp as their wide eyes took in the destruction.

There was thick dust and smoke lingering in the air, most of the confetti was either burnt or disintegrated, the couches were nothing more than scattered pieces of charred cushion, and the carpet was equally as dark and patchy.

Though, interestingly – and depressingly – enough, the television remained untouched along with the sturdiest walls ever invented.

After the surprised gazes examined the complete mess, all eyes snapped to the figure laying prone in the middle of the floor. Shadow was sleeping on his back, his mouth partially open. His inhibitor rings were scattered around the room, forgotten about.

Tails figured that this was worse than having his whole house totaled. "Our…Our…"

Sonic raked his fingers through his quills. "Well, there goes that idea…"

Amy coughed, breathing in too much of the contaminated air. "At least it was worth the try?"

"Was it?" Tails' voice had risen an octave. "Look at this mess! It'll take forever to clean it up!"

"It won't if we all help!" Amy managed a smile.

Eggman snorted at that, and Metal's eyes flashed. "I am not a vacuum cleaner."

"Forget about the mess!" Knuckles shouted as he stomped over to the pristine TV, getting his shoes dirty. He wildly gestured to the appliance. "It still looks band new! The _thing_ is messing with us!"

"Surely it cannot be surprising at this point," Metal commented before glancing over to the kitchen area. "I will see if any of the food sustained damage." He swiftly left the room.

Sonic let out a sigh as approached the dead-to-the-world Shadow. "At least the sugar's out of his syst-"

The blue speedster was cut off when knocks echoed around the ruined room. Heads whirled in the direction of the front door just in time to see it fall from its hinges, collapsing to the floor.

Rouge was standing in the doorway, eyes wide with her mouth gaping open as some of the dust floated outside. There was a large cup of coffee in her right hand. Her gaze darted around the room until she focused on Shadow and finally on the standing group. "I brought coffee," she said breathily as she stepped into the home. "And also: what _happened_ here?!"

It was then that Metal strolled back into living room. "No food was harmed."

Knuckles ignored him as he crossed his arms. "Shadow got a sugar high from the cookies Amy ate, so he blasted to get rid of the feeling. So yeah, I don't think he needs the coffee anymore."

Rouge could believe it and couldn't believe it at the same time. She hadn't been gone for that long, and how was the place _still standing?_ "He needs this more now than ever, hon. He's _beyond_ crashed, and if you want him awake sometime this week, caffeine is a necessity. Hold this." Beside Knuckles, Rouge pushed the cup gently against his chest, and the echidna hesitantly grabbed it before she let it go.

Rouge then searched for the discarded inhibitor rings and collected them. "I was going to ask GUN to help getting you all out, but-" She vaguely gestured to the intact home. "I don't think they could do anything better than a _Chaos Blast._ "

Sonic managed to find a little humor in this despite… _everything._ "It was more like a Sugar Blast." He chuckled as she reattached the rings on Shadow's limp wrists and ankles. "Because he didn't have a Chaos emerald-"

Tails loudly gasped at that. "A Chaos emerald! That could be what we need to get out of here!" He couldn't believe that he hadn't thought about that earlier.

Amy wanted to get excited, but, "We can't be sure that it will work, Tails! Shadow just _exploded,_ and we're still trapped here!"

"We still have to try!" Tails pushed. "The _thing_ can't be powerful enough to mess with the power of the emeralds, right?"

No one had an answer.

"…I'm assuming that all of you agree with me."

Of course Eggman didn't agree with the kit, but what other choice did he have? "There's a Chaos emerald fifty miles south-east of here in a cave," he reluctantly muttered. He _had_ been planning on retrieving the gem himself, but no, fate apparently had other plans for him.

Sonic went over and placed a supportive hand on the human's arm. He grinned. "I know telling us that hurt you very much deep down inside, but I want to say thank-"

"Don't touch me."

Rouge scrunched up her nose when she heard the location of the beautiful gem. Despite the reputation of her species, she didn't like caves very much. She couldn't fly like she wanted, and all the dirt and dust were bad for her pores.

But she _was_ collecting one of the rare and gorgeous Chaos emeralds.

"I'm guessing that I'll be the one to go get it?" Rouge put a hand on her hip. If someone had told her before today that she'd be fetching a Chaos emerald to try to free her friends from a trap put together by some questionably malevolent magical force, she would have asked them what kind of medication they were on. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks, Rouge!" Tails chirped.

"I want to have hope, but it's all gone by this point," Knuckles sighed out.

Rouge winked at him. "I'm the best treasure hunter out there, sugar. So don't worry about me not getting it." Knuckles threw her a glare. "And about this plan actually working, we'll just have to see."

"It's going to work!" Amy surely nodded. "I believe in the emeralds!"

Rouge smiled at her. "Usually, I do too, but…" She glanced at her surroundings and figured that she should get going before something else impossible happened. "Well, I'll leave all of you here to deal with…this." Rouge stepped in the direction of the exit of the home, waving back at them. "Hopefully I'll be back soo-"

"Wait!" Amy held out a hand, and the bat paused in her stride with a risen brow. "Before you get the emerald, can you get me a change of clothes from my apartment? It's locked, but I'm sure you'll find a way in!"

Rouge grinned. "You know it." She could work wonders with a bobby pin.

Eggman wasn't going to let this opportunity slip away. "While you're fetching clothes, can you _please_ find me a shirt and some pants?"

Rouge eyed the human and figured that it was for the best. "Alright, a change of clothes for Pinky and a shirt and pants size humongous for the doctor."

Eggman's mustache flared. "I am _not-!"_

She didn't let him finish. "I'll see all of you in a bit!" Rouge continued her stroll toward the non-functional door. "And don't forget to find a way to get Shadow to drink that coffee!"

When she left, Knuckles gazed down at the cup in his hand. "He'll definitely drown if we give this to him in that state."

Metal approached Shadow's side and nudged the hedgehog with his foot. Shadow didn't budge. "The act of drowning would surely stimulate the brain and rouse him."

"But he could still die."

"There is a small chance, yes. As there is a small chance that you could have explosive diarrhea at this very moment."

Knuckles stared at Metal for a second before forcing the cup into Tails' hands. "You do it, Tails. He didn't hurt you when you woke him up the last time."

Tails 'eeped'. "But…But he really didn't like it, though! Sonic…?"

He tried to hand the cup over, but the azure speedster backed up a step with his hands raised. "No can do, bud! You totally got this! I believe in you!"

"Of course you do! Because you don't want to do it!"

"Guilty as charged!" Sonic admitted like it was nothing.

Tails exhaled heavily and clenched the cup tighter as he made his way over to the sleeping hedgehog. Squatting down, he hoped that these weren't his – or Shadow's – last moments as he positioned the cup over the other's open mouth. Tails steadied his grip before tilting with cup and letting some of its contents pour out, but not much.

Shadow didn't drown like Knuckles had said; he simply swallowed the coffee. One scarlet eye slowly peeled open like it was weighed down by tons. "What," Shadow rasped quietly. It was barely even a question, more like an accusatory statement.

"Um…got you some coffee!" Tails wiggled the cup around. "Rouge brought it so you could stay awake. And uh…you didn't destroy the house by the way."

Shadow's dull stare drifted to the cup before muttering under his breath, "Damn." He lethargically reached up to grab the container, but his arm fell back down before he got halfway. Shadow was asleep again before his hand hit the floor.

Metal looked down at the softly snoring hedgehog. "…Does sleeping feel as good as consuming food?"

"Yeah, they're pretty equal," Sonic answered while pondering a plan on how to keep Shadow awake so they could watch-

**The scene changed, and now a sandy beach faded into view. Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy were around what looked like a sculpture of Tails sitting in his plane.**

Amy snapped her attention to the TV. "What?! It's playing even though Shadow's asleep!"

"Is…the _thing_ giving us some mercy?" Tails questioned, standing from his squatting position.

"Either that…" Knuckles blinked in shock when a handful of plastic folding chairs appeared in the middle of the floor. His wide eyes narrowed. "…Or buttering us up for something. Making us lower our defenses!"

"Let's not question it!" Sonic hopped onto the nearest chair and got as comfortable as he could. "It's givin' us new seats-" Tails pouted as he sat in one of the poor sofa-substitutes, leaving the coffee by Shadow. "-and it's letting Shads sleep a bit! Maybe it's feeling guilty?"

"That's what I hope!" Amy gingerly sat on the plastic, wishing that the couches hadn't been disintegrated.

"It's about time," Eggman muttered as he settled down. After all the insanity they had gone through, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. It might bite.

Knuckles carefully took a seat, expecting spikes to pop up out of nowhere. When he didn't get impaled upon sitting, the echidna thought just _maybe_ he could enjoy the small miracles. "Did anyone find the remote?"

A resting Metal held up the device. "It had materialized in my hand."

"…Of course it did."

**Sonic dusted his hands off after finishing the back of the sandy model. "You know, we haven't seen Eggman in a while."**

Sonic nodded. "Which is a good thing…most of the time."

Tails examined the living room once again, mentally reliving the days when it _wasn't_ a furniture graveyard. He wondered if Shadow was going to help pay for this.

**Knuckles glanced over at the blue hedgehog, forming a ball of sand in his hands. Amy was standing beside him with a shovel and a bucket of water. The echidna rose a brow. "That's a good thing, right?"**

"First sensible thing he's said this episode," Knuckles stated.

**Sonic quickly approached him, a slight frown on his muzzle. "I think he's up to something. I'm gonna check up on him!" He ran off, creating a large gust of wind that blew Amy's and Knuckles' quills all over the place and got rid of the sand that was apparently covering Tails and his plane. The kit coughed and smiled at the remaining duo.**

"That uh…what?" Amy felt betrayed. "So they were cheating! And to think that I was impressed with their sandcastle-building skills!"

Tails wrapped his namesakes around him, dusting off any debris they had collected. "I'm more worried that they basically buried my double…"

"But your twin isn't worried!" Sonic placated. "It's all good!"

**At the evil lair, Sonic crashed through one of the main doors. "Ah hah! Caught you just as you were-" All of the fight left the hero's system only to be replaced with confusion at the sight of Eggman lounging on his couch in his pink onesie.**

There was a collective tortured groan that filled the room.

"Just _why?!_ " Amy cried out. "Can someone _please_ burn it?"

"I would if I could." Eggman imagined flinging that cursed fabric in a red-hot bonfire. And then blowing it up. And throwing any remains into the ocean.

**There was an almost empty pizza box and a bowl of nachos by the doctor. "-lounging in your pajamas?" Sonic finished, blinking in surprise.**

Amy's nose scrunched up in disgust. "How is he not repulsed by that? Eggman's like a human garbage disposal!"

"He might be used to it," Knuckles responded, feeling bad for the blue hedgehog if this was _actually_ a common sight.

**Eggman waved him off. "Just leave me alone to wallow in my filth and self-pity." The human took a chip and dipped it in the cheese stain on his pajamas. He ate it shamelessly.**

**Sonic flinched back in disgust. "Ugh dude, gross!"**

"There it is!" Sonic pointed out, glad that his twin wasn't used to this kind of trauma.

**Orbot came up to the hedgehog and whispered, "I'm afraid Dr. Eggman has been acting quite particular since firing that Soar fellow."**

" **So…he's not planning something huge and diabolical?" Sonic asked.**

"How come Eggman doesn't just rehire Soar?" Tails questioned. "I mean, he obviously knows that he's in a slump. Using yourself as a plate is basically rock bottom!"

**Orbot shook his head. "Quite the contrary! The only thing he's planning is marathoning through Season four of Hedgehog Abby."**

"No, scratch what I said earlier. _That's_ rock bottom."

"You're absolutely right, Tails!" Amy agreed. "Hedgehog Abby isn't even a good show!"

**Eggman was into the drama on TV, even going so far to say, "Oh no he didn't!" like the characters could hear him.**

**Sonic shrugged.**

Sonic chuckled. "Yeah, not his problem!"

**In his own shack now, Sonic was peacefully relaxing in his hammock with his hands behind his head. He pleasantly sighed. "This is the life. No Eggman, no worries!" Sonic stretched before slumping and laying on his stomach. "Ugh, I'm so bored!"**

"A bored Sonic?" Knuckles started, "Yeah, something's getting destroyed and/or burned down."

"Hey!" Sonic frowned. "When's the last time I've burned something down?"

"Last week. You tried out a treadmill at the Station Square gym."

"It's not my fault it couldn't handle my speed!"

**Sonic then ran full-speed to Tails' workshop. The kit was sitting on his plane, reading over some blueprints.**

" **Hey Tails!" the blue hero greeted upon entry. "Need any help?"**

Tails shook his head, seeing this going south. "I already feel bad for him."

"Aw Tails, I'm not that bad, am I?"

"Sorry Sonic, but yes."

" **Not really." Tails folded the blue paper up. "Just cleaning some sand out of the gaskets."**

" **Oh." Sonic quickly climbed into the pilot seat to get closer to the fox. He smirked when Tails looked at him. "So, you wanna race?"**

If Tails had a dollar for every time he had heard that question, he'd be able to replace the stuff in his living room and then some.

**Tails palmed the blueprints that were sitting on the windshield, looking a bit apologetic. "Sorry Sonic. I'm kinda busy here."**

" **Aw, come on!" Sonic threw an arm around the fox's shoulder to pointed at the exit of the shop. "I'll race you to the end of the island!" He sprinted away the next second, the wind he produced causing all of the prints Tails had to take flight.**

Sonic gestured at the screen. "I'm better than that, right?"

Different variations of 'no' were his responses. Amy only looked somewhat apologetic. "You _do_ like to run a lot. From me mostly."

Sonic couldn't argue that.

**Tails flailed his arms to try to recapture them. "Hey! My papers!"**

**Sonic was back to the workshop in no time. "I win!" He noticed the mess, strolling into the place. "Woah! Way to make a mess while I was gone."**

**He paused in his stride when he saw Tails gripping armfuls of paper. The kit growled at him.**

Knuckles laughed aloud. "That's definitely not the first time it's happened."

Tails was speechless. His double just _growled_ at his brother. Sure, the other Sonic kinda deserved it, but _wow_.

"Okay, so it's obvious that he's worse than I am!" Sonic tried to defend himself. "Tails has never growled at me!"

"Yet," the kit mocked, snickering at him. Sonic simply stuck out his tongue.

**There was a cut, and now Knuckles was on the screen. He was by a tree, lifting a wooden birdhouse to hang on a nail embedded in the bark. "Steady…" he muttered to himself as he carefully rose the craft. "Steady…"**

"Aw, he made that by himself?" Amy leaned forward, smiling. "I have to admit, I can see where Rouge's coming from! It's kinda sweet!"

"Don't listen to her," Knuckles hastily advised. "She's a bad influence."

**Sonic suddenly appeared. "Hey, Knux!"**

**Knuckles cried out in shock and accidently threw his birdhouse into the air. They both watched as it crashed down to the ground, breaking into pieces. Knuckles slumped in disappointment, sadness etching into his features.**

Amy gasped. "I feel so bad for him!"

"I would have felt sympathy if I was alive," Metal uttered.

For once, Knuckles could empathize with his double. One of the reasons he stayed on Angel island was to get away from bored!Sonic.

**Sonic was sheepish. "…I wonder what Amy's doing?" He ran off.**

Sonic tisked. "Now that's just dirty!"

"Like the kitchen when you decided to test how much our blender could hold?"

"That was forever ago, Tails!"

"I _still_ find blended pickles in random places!"

**In the pinkette's house, Amy was standing in front of an easel, a brush in her hand.**

**Sonic was beside her, taking a look at what she was doing. "Whatcha painting?"**

**Amy smiled at him. "A picture to commemorate the anniversary of the first time I painted a picture." The image was herself painting a picture of a vase of colorful flowers.**

"That's going to be ruined in less than four minutes," Eggman predicted.

"No it's not!" Amy hoped. "He should be more careful around his girlfriend!"

"They're not…" Sonic trailed off, figuring that it was pointless. He wouldn't be able to change Amy's mind until the show itself did. And it was going to…eventually.

**Sonic's head whipped to the side when he heard a loud noise outside. "Eggman!" He zipped over to the nearest window, inadvertently knocking over Amy's paint.**

Amy slumped in disappointment.

**Sonic stuck his head out to search before looking down. It was a large stick on the ground. "Oh…" Sonic said as he walked back over to the pinkette, who was picking of her spilled cans. "It was just a tree branch…"**

"So when that Sonic is bored, he basically turns into Sticks."

"Seems like it," Sonic said to Knuckles. Sure, the blue hero would be a _bit_ destructive when there was absolutely nothing to do, but at least he wasn't a paranoid mess.

**Amy wasn't too happy. "Sonic! Please be careful!" She held up a small tube of blue paint. "This is 100% organic, fair-trade paint! It's very expensive and very green!"**

**Sonic shifted his attention to the painting. "…It looks more like pink to me."**

Amy sighed. "It's funny and sad at the same time."

**Both hedgehogs tensed when there was another noise coming from outside. "What was that?" He ran to another window, knocking Amy's palette out of her hands. "I know that's Eggman! He's out there, watching, lurking!" He bolted to a third window, pushing curtains out of the way. "Watching some more!" He went to another one. "Then lurking!" Another. "Then breaking for lunch!" And yet another. "Then lurking more!"**

Sonic slowly blinked. "He's just drivin' himself crazy!"

Knuckles frowned. "Someone just needs to knock him out."

**Amy was cleaning up Sonic's mess when he ran too close past her, causing her to crash into her painting and fall to the ground. Amy glared while Sonic searched around the place.**

"Called it," Eggman grunted. It had barely been two minutes.

**The next scene change showed Sticks' burrow. Most of the hero crew were inside.**

**Tails was pacing, clearly upset and angry. "Every since Eggman got depressed, Sonic has been making me nuts!"**

Knuckles chuckled. "If Tails ever gets mad at you, you're doing something very wrong."

"It's weird seeing him so worked up." Tails cocked his head at the TV. "They have to get Eggman back on his feet, pronto."

**Knuckles was leaning back in his seat, not happy about this development either. "He hasn't cooked for me. He's just been driving me crazy!"**

Just when Knuckles was starting to maybe tolerate him, he _had_ to erase all of the progress.

**Amy had a thoughtful expression on her face, Sticks silently watching her. The pinkette then spoke up. "If we want to get Sonic out of our hair, we need Eggman back in the game! I never thought I would say this, but…" She stood up, determined. "We have to re-motivate Eggman!"**

"Turning off his soap opera should be sufficient," Metal suggested.

"Or taking away his nachos." Sonic grinned. "He'd get angry then."

**In the base, Eggman was still watching TV, absently scratching his stomach through his stained onesie.**

"There should be a law about how much of a disappointment a person could be."

"Then you would've been in jail a long time ago, doctor."

"And you would've been rotting in there along with me, Metal!"

"I would actually rust, but I still understand and disagree with your statement."

**Tails entered through a skylight, using a rope to safely enter the lair. Knuckles kicked down a set of doors, Amy and Sticks running in behind him.**

**Eggman sighed as they approached him. "The doorbell works too, you know…"**

Sonic furrowed his brow. "He just…doesn't care at all anymore, huh?"

Knuckles folded his arms across his chest. "If that was the demeaner of someone who _did_ care, I'd be way more concerned."

**Amy jabbed a finger at the human. "We're here to take you down!"**

**Eggman slowly sat up and shooed the heroes away. "Move over! You're blocking the TV."**

"It's nice to know that he has his priorities in order." Eggman pumped as much sarcasm as he could into his words. If any of the pests had charged into his base like that, it didn't matter what kind of day he was having, someone was going to pay for those destroyed doors.

**The anthros all shared an uncertain look. Knuckles then glanced behind him and punted a small trash can. He weakly glared at Eggman and huffed. "Next time, it'll be** _**full** _ **."**

Amy shrugged. "At least he tried?"

"Yeah," Knuckles began after a second. "I'll give him that."

**Away from the lair, Sonic yanked open the door to Sticks' burrow. "Anyone home?" He ran further inside, keeping the items in his arms balanced. "I brought board games!"**

"Board games? Does he _want_ to ruin his friendships even more?" Sonic knew that playing board games were a big risk. Especially the ones involving fake money.

**He looked around until his wrist communicator beeped. It was Tails.** _**"Sonic!"** _ **There was lots of noise going on in the background.** _**"Big battle happening at Eggman's lair! You gotta hurry!"** _

**Sonic didn't hesitate. "I'm on it!" He zoomed off, dumping the board games on the floor.**

"The only big battle going on there is between Eggman and his food addiction."

"So big that it transcends dimensions!"

Eggman glared hard at the cheeky brother duo, wishing that Rouge would find the Chaos emerald so he could hurry and destroy them once and for all.

**Back at Eggman's place, Tails and Sticks were making as much noise as possible.**

**Eggman was still on his couch. He turned up the volume, but it was drowned out by the ruckus. He frowned. "Can you keep it down? I'm trying to watch my stories."**

**Doors to the room slid open, and Sonic ran in. "Hey guys!"**

Amy tapped her chin. "How many times have those same doors been replaced?"

Sonic pursed his lips in thought. "Better question is who keeps fixing them?"

**Seeing him, Tails and Sticks dropped their noise makers. Tails wrapped his hands around his throat, falling to his knees and acting like he was in pain. "Argh! Eggman's doing this to us!" He groaned before falling flat on the floor, Sticks following him soon after.**

Sonic chortled. "A plus acting, guys! Really!"

Knuckles smirked as a thought came to him. "Sticks hadn't said a _word_ yet, and I appreciate that." They only needed one paranoid maniac per episode, and the other Sonic had filled that role.

" **You gotta fight him, Sonic!" Knuckles was pretending as well, though his fall was more dramatic that the other pair's.**

**Sonic scratched his head, confused. "Uh…are you guys okay?"**

**Amy was laying out in front of him, distressed. "Stop Eggman before he destroys us!"**

**Sonic furrowed his brow and glimpsed at the doctor. "…He's not doing anything."**

**Eggman shushed him, fixated on his show.**

Metal had seen Eggman coordinate better schemes. "That plan was highly unsatisfactory."

"I think they thought Eggman would be more…" Amy waved a hand, trying to find the right word. "…responsive."

**The pieces eventually were put together. "Are you pretending that he's attacking you?" Sonic questioned, tone accusatory.**

**Eggman was pushing buttons on his remote. "Amy, cut it out."**

"Being called out by _Eggman?_ " Sonic had just witnessed the impossible. "Wow."

**Amy gave up the act, getting back up to her feet. "Okay everyone, enough." She then explained to Sonic, "We were trying to motivate Eggman so you'd have someone to battle."**

**Eggman scoffed. "What a dumb idea."**

" **Hey!" Sonic approached the doctor with an affronted frown. "Lay off her, Egghead!"**

Amy happily squealed. "He's sticking up for his girlfriend!"

"Yep, even though Eggman wasn't completely wrong." Knuckles threw a smirk Sonic's way. "If that's not true love, I don't know what is."

"Knux, if you wake up bald one day, don't be surprised."

"Sonic, if you wake up underwater one day, don't be surprised."

"…Touché."

"Thought so."

**Eggman leaned forward, making a fist. "Oh yeah? What are** _**you** _ **going to do about it?"**

**Sonic got into his space. "Give you a stern look and say, 'Yeah, really'!"**

**The human snorted. "Oh really?"**

" _ **Yeah**_ **really!" Sonic snapped back.**

"…Great comebacks all around?" Tails wanted to stay positive. It was hard.

**Eggman quickly stood up. "Robots…" He pressed a series of buttons on his remote before pointing at Sonic. "Attack!"**

**A handful of bots darted out, aiming for the blue speedster. Sonic easily took care of them, smashing the mechs into pieces. Eggman growled at this while the rest of the hero crew looked on victoriously.**

"So…all that, and Eggman just needed to call something dumb?" Knuckles sighed out.

Amy shook her head. "No, he needed to call my _twin_ dumb! That made the difference!"

"You're right! All he had to insult the significant other to get a reaction."

Sonic was already done with this topic. "What's the next episode about?" he asked, disregarding the echidna's snickers.

The title of the next one popped up on the screen, and Metal read it aloud. "'How to Succeed in Evil Without Really Trying'. It sounds like the doctor will not be in this one."

"He's been in every episode." Eggman huffed indignantly. "Don't get my hopes up."

Tails' gaze drifted down to the striped hedgehog still blissfully asleep on the floor before focusing on the bot. "Can you play it? Or do we need to wake Shadow up again?"

Metal pressed play, and nothing happened.

Tails really didn't like that he was the dedicated wake-up person. "Can't we just let him sleep? Rouge will be back with the emerald, and then we can leave!"

"Tails…" Amy had a crease in her brow. "Don't we need him awake to teleport us out anyway?"

"I mean yeah, but we can wait to-"

"I'm going to honest with you, Tails." Knuckles met his gaze. "I don't think the emerald's going to work. Between materializing things, trapping us, and controlling the weather, the _thing's_ got some serious power. Waiting for her is just going to waste time."

"But-"

Tails cut himself off when Metal hurled the remote right at Shadow's head. The room instantly quieted as the device bounced off of the hedgehog's forehead with a dull thud.

It clattered to the floor, and Metal said, "That argument was unnecessary."

"I'm pretty sure it was necessary," Tails squeaked when the black hedgie began to stir.

Shadow's eyes barely opened before he lifted a hand and rubbed the pained area. He looked a bit confused until his gaze shifted to the cup of coffee beside him. Still laying down, Shadow wearily grabbed it and positioned it over his mouth.

He tipped the cup only for the top to come off.

Warm coffee was poured onto his face and into his nose. Shadow instantly turned over onto his stomach, wheezing in a puddle of his beverage. He harshly coughed up coffee that went down the wrong pipe.

Tails opened and closed his mouth a few times before whispering to the others. "Did he…just waterboard himself?"

"Uh huh." Sonic was straining to keep his laughter in.

Metal nodded, the sound of Shadow clearing his lungs echoing around the place. "Drowning stimulated his brain, like I had said."

Knuckles narrowed his eyes at the bot. "You win this time, Metal."

"As expected."


	17. Chapter 17

Shadow didn't know who he was angry at the most. It was a toss up between whoever threw something at him, himself for almost drowning, or the laws of physics taking an unnecessary vacation because the damn house should be _gone._

There were voices all around him, but all he really heard was himself coughing up a lung – better yet both of them. And then, it didn't help that half of his being was telling him to block out the world, finding peace in the ever elusive hold of sleep.

However, the _other_ half needed to find what hit his head and caused him to almost die at the hand of caffeine.

Sonic hid his grin behind his hand as Shadow eventually calmed back down – who new that coffee would be the striped hedgehog's worst enemy? – before asking, "So Shads, how was the coffee?"

Shadow immediately rasped, "Go to hell."

"Yeah, I understand. I'd be mad if I waterboarded myself too."

Shadow barely restrained himself from throwing his half empty cup at the faker's face. He resisted however, because he knew that his aim wouldn't be the greatest at the moment. He didn't want to give Sonic anything else to laugh at.

He was sure that the _thing_ wouldn't appreciate a comatose hedgehog.

The striped hedgehog eventually pulled himself together, sitting all the way up and blatantly ignoring the coffee stain on the burnt carpet in front of him. Dull and slightly unfocused red irises squinted at the abandoned remote laying a distance away from him. His muddled brain – alright. _Maybe_ Chaos Blasting to get rid of a sugar high wasn't one of his best plans. However, he _wasn't_ shaking anymore, so at least the plan worked – connected the dots easily enough.

Shadow slightly turned so he could face the rest of the occupants of the room who were sitting in plastic chairs he _sure_ wasn't there before. Eyes were on him, and Shadow conjured up the meanest glare he could manage. Though, little did he know, he actually looked a kid rudely awakened from a nap.

"Who?" Shadow resisted the urge to wince at his strained and tired voice, trying to keep it sharp and intimidating.

However, it only seemed to affect Tails. "It wasn't me!" the kit hastily cleared his name, innocently holding his hands up. Tails knew to not judge a book by its cover. Shadow looked rough in all the wrong ways, but he was sure the hedgehog could still make his day ten times worse somehow. Like decide to target the rest of the house next. "Metal just decided to throw it!"

"Which is weird…" Amy tapped her chin, pursing her lips. "Because Metal now knows what pain feels like…"

"Desperate times require desperate measures," Metal easily responded, not intimidated at all by the hedgehog on the floor. "He is awake, and we can now-" The robot's words cut off when Shadow decided to take a chance with his aim. Coffee splattered all over Metal, dripping down his metallic hide. He paused for a moment before uttering, "I am waterproof."

Tails didn't even care as the beverage puddled underneath the robot's chair. He'd given up on this ruined living room at this point.

Shadow knew good and well that Metal was waterproof. However, seeing the projectile hit his target was satisfying nonetheless. He would rather dismember the mech wire by wire, but he had to make due.

Knuckles glanced at the splashed robot and then focused on the drowsy hedgie. He rose a brow. "You know bat-girl brought that for you, right?"

Shadow didn't flinch, his blinking growing more lethargic. "I'm sure she'd appreciate where it ended up."

"…You realize that you just threw your only source of energy, right?"

Shadow deeply sighed. "I'm well aware." He almost regretted using the beverage as a projectile… _almost._ Shadow blinked when something suddenly appeared at his side. It was a second coffee cup. Steam was flowing out of the hole in the capped container.

Amy stared in shock. "You know, maybe the _thing_ is really feeling bad for u-"

The cup was hurled again, dousing an exasperated Metal even more. This time, the splash caused the robot's neighbors – Sonic and Eggman – to hiss and grabbed their affected arms.

The blue speedster hastily wiped the piping hot liquid off. "Not cool, Shads!" He noticed his unintentional pun, but he was too busy dealing with pain to acknowledge it. Unfortunately. "I wasn't the one who woke you up!"

Eggman scowled at the weary striped hedgehog, cradling his arm. He was thinking of a devious plan to somehow quintuple the sugar contents of _everything_ Shadow ate after they escaped from this torture house.

When yet another cup of coffee materialized beside Shadow, Sonic was ready to hop out of the way if need be.

Metal eyed the striped 'hog as the other picked up the gift. "Are you done with your childish tantrum?"

Shadow's fingers tensed around the stryofoam, but then they relaxed. He figured that the _thing_ could only be so nice. He blatantly ignored the robot and instead blew his hot beverage, taking a cautious sip. It was almost too hot, but he could handle it. He was going to drink this slowly, because he would rather let Eggman take over the damn world before experiencing another high like that.

"…I will take that as a yes," Metal said, readjusting himself in his chair because he was slightly sliding out of it. His opticals shifted over to the discarded remote. "I would have started the episode, but the remote is out of my possession."

Shadow heavily exhaled, feeling a bruise form on his forehead.

"I'll get it!" Amy hopped out of her seat and went after the device. She avoided coffee puddles and disintegrated couch cushions as she went, burnt confetti sticking to the bottom of her socks. She palmed the remote and went back to her seat, thinking about how normal their lives were before all this happened.

The world splitting in pieces? Younger doubles showing up? Confusing time travel? All of that was normal compared to this.

Amy settled in her chair and pressed play.

**The episode started off showing an orchard. Sticks was on a ladder, picking berries.**

Knuckles recalled the title of this episode and grunted out, "Is she going to turn evil in this one? I could see it." Her insane ramblings and paranoia were evil enough as they were. "Just don't let her be the main focus like Buster or that weird award one. _Please_."

Sonic simply shrugged at that, hating the hardness of his chair and wishing that they had at _least_ came with padding. "She hasn't been that bad in the last few episodes…" She barely talked in the last one, but that was besides the point.

" **No one at the pie festival will guess that beige berries are my secret ingredient!" The badger smiled as she placed her berries in her basket. However, the smile didn't last for long, being replaced by a thoughtful look. "Unless…one of these trees is a spy in disguise!"**

Knuckles gave Sonic a pointed look, and the speedster just chuckled.

"She's…not being as extreme as she normally is!" Amy brought up, trying to remain positive. Sure, Sticks was a little… _out there_ , but so was everyone Amy had ever met. Especially Knuckles. Honestly, Amy was sure that he would marry the Master Emerald if given the chance.

**Sticks climbed down her ladder and glared at an innocent tree. "I'm onto you, tree! You'll never get the recipe! NEVER!" She pulled out her boomerang, ready to go on the defensive.**

Tails really didn't get her choice of weaponry. Yeah, it apparently had worked up until now, but using a _wooden_ boomerang? Against metal robots? "I wonder how many boomerangs she goes through every week…"

"Probably twenty." Knuckles threw out a guess. "Especially if she targets trees daily."

Sonic glanced at Metal out of the corner of his eye, seeing how the coffee had made the bot's hide glisten. "Mets, you know you can clean that off, right?"

"Cleaning the liquid off would signify discomfort. I will not let the Ultimate Lifeform think that he has affected me in any way," Metal said, gazing at Shadow who was focused on his drink (and not falling over in a dead sleep).

Sonic completely understood wanting to one-up Shads, but, "Won't you get sticky?"

Metal hesitated to answer. Instead, he held up his hands and clenched his fingers a few times. "…No, I will not."

Everyone could detect his unsureness, and Shadow smirked as he took sip from his cup.

At an earlier point of his life, Eggman would've cared if his ace robot had gotten doused with one and a half cups of coffee, but right now, Metal was nothing more than another pest to get rid of.

The human inwardly sighed. _Somehow_.

**Before she could attack however, Tails approached her in his yellow hovercraft. "Hey Sticks! How's tricks?" he greeted with a smile. "I see you're making beige berry pie."**

"And the good evens out the bad," Knuckles commented. "Maybe the episode will be more bearable."

"It will never become bearable until my double shows up," Shadow opposed. _And is not completely intolerable._

Sonic chuckled, unable to hold in a, " _If_ you ever show up! We still don't have any proof if your or Metal's – _gah!_ " He barely ducked the cup launched at his head, and he audibly groaned when Shadow was provided with yet _another_ cup. "Oh, come on!" He glared at the ceiling. "You give him more stuff to throw, but you won't replace our couches?!"

There was suddenly a weight in his hand, and he deadpanned at the soft toy sofa in his palm.

Knuckles chortled as Tails uttered, "I would laugh, but it pains me knowing with it could've been…"

Eggman allowed a jeering grin to grow. "Should've been more specific, rodent. Then-" His grin morphed into a deep frown when the couch ricocheted off his nose. An eye twitched. "I'm _tired_ of things being thrown around here!"

Sonic scoffed. "And we're tired of seeing you all the time, but you don't hear us complaining!"

"Yes, I do!"

"Oh, right."

**Sticks blinked in surprise before whispering to her berries. "I don't know what he's talking about! I'm taking you to live on a farm!"**

Amy opened her mouth to comment, but she decided to close it. Sticks talking to berries was actually tamer than trying to attack a tree for spying on her. Though…it has only been a minute since the show had started…

**The badger refocused on the fox. "No, if you will excuse me, I have a few trees left to pick." The badger walked off.**

" **Looks like you could use some help!" Tails shouted after her. "Be right back!" He zoomed away in his vehicle.**

Tails didn't know if he liked this idea or not. "I don't know, but something's telling me that Sticks wouldn't appreciate machines helping her pick berries."

"She almost attacked a _tree_ for just existing." Knuckles rolled his eyes. "So yeah, anything unnatural would surely be on her hit-list."

**The kit was now in his workshop, working on his next invention. He was singing to himself. "Grab-claw's connected to the trap-jaw! Trap-jaw's connected to the scoop-maw! Scoop-maw's connected to the positively-charged resister-cuffing ion-matrix!" Tails stopped singing and went to turn the matrix on. It didn't work.**

"Yeah, that's pretty accurate." Sonic smirked over at the yellow kit. "I catch you singing while working all the time! Though, they do rhyme better than your twin's."

"That's so adorable, Tails!" Amy cooed, and Tails hated that he never noticed Sonic listening in.

His cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "I just do it to pass the time!"

Sonic decided to shift gears, turning toward Eggman. "How about you, Eggy? Do you sing while you make your flimsy bots?"

Eggman wasn't going to even address the second part of the pest's question. "Of course I don't, you cactus!"

"Yes, he does," Metal argued. "He sounds similar to a beached whale."

Knuckles snorted. "Pretty fitting description."

Eggman wished that _he_ had a cup of steaming coffee to throw.

" **Oops," he said when the voltage meter didn't go high enough. "Needs voltage. Lot of trees means lot of V's!"**

Chuckles echoed in the air, and Tails sunk into his seat because he _knew_ he was guilty of the same thing sometimes.

**He strolled over to a nearby shelf. Sapphires stared at the first matrix. "Nope." Tails went to the next one; it was a little bigger, but still too small. "Nope." There was one more; however, it still wasn't enough. "Nope."**

**Tails then glanced out of the window to see Sonic playing volleyball by himself. He grinned. "Yep!"**

Huh…Tails realized that he could save _so_ much time and effort just using Sonic like his double was. Just imagine the money and energy he would be saving!

Sonic wasn't even surprised. "I _am_ a great source of energy!"

"Too much," Knuckles uttered.

"There's no such thing as too much energy, Knux!"

The echidna gestured at Shadow, quickly reminding Sonic that his argument was invalid.

**It wasn't long until Sonic was inside the workshop, standing on a stationary bike connected to Tails' machine. The azure speedster was a little dubious. "Are you sure about this, Tails? You know how Sticks is about machines."**

Seeing that the other Sonic agreed with him, Knuckles could tell that this was going to go south real fast. "So, I'm predicting that Tails' invention somehow causes Sticks to turn to the dark side."

"Like she reacts in a way that Eggman appreciates or something?" Amy supplied, thinking that could very well happen with how the other doctor acted.

Eggman shuddered at the prospect of his twin showing up this episode – even though he knew it was inevitable – and at the prospect of working with that erratic badger. All of his things would be destroyed in a more annoying manner than usual.

"Though, if it does happen…" Sonic held up a finger. "Either Eggman would eventually hate Sticks' uh _quirkiness_ ," He held up another. "or the rest of the crew would go save her."

"Or both." Tails added.

"Yeah, right. Or both."

**Tails was tinkering with the wires. "But this thing runs on natural energy…yours! It's better than going green…" He raised his arms. "It's going blue!"**

"He's not wrong!" Amy giggled before reining herself back in. "But I don't think Sticks will care…"

**Sonic didn't bother arguing. "Say when!" His feet were a blur as he spun the pedals, quickly charging up one of the bigger matrixes. Apparently, Sonic charged it too fast for it exploded a second later in Tails' face.**

**The kit was cross-eyed and struggling to keep standing. His fur was charred in some places. "When…" he said, way too late.**

Tails nodded to himself. Yeah, that was a good reason to not let Sonic be an energy source. It would take precision and timing and Tails was sure more of his inventions would be _blown_ up than powered up.

**Back at the orchard, Sticks was still busy picking the beige berries. She then blinked in surprise when the ground began to rumble, falling off her ladder with a shout soon after. The badger glanced up to see Tails' berry picker charging her way. She jumped over the machine and watched it go as Tails approached her side with a remote control.**

**Tails was controlling the machine, but when it started to mow down whole trees, concern etched into his features.**

"Yep, there it is." Knuckles pointed out. "Here comes Sticks' rise to evildom."

"That is not a word, guardian."

"Find a better one for me, Metal."

"…Give me a moment."

"Exactly."

**The kit gaped as more and more trees were devoured. "Well…" He regained his composure, acting like nothing had gone wrong. "My work here is done."**

"I mean…" Tails wrung his fingers together. "He _did_ pick the berries?"

"But you know Sticks is about to freak out, lil bro."

**Tails took a couple steps away, but Sticks angrily grabbed his arm, keeping him from going anywhere. "Your machine destroyed the orchard!" She gestured at the kit's invention running rampant.**

" **It could be worse!" Tails tried to argue, a strained smile on his muzzle. "At least you still have the berries!"**

**His machine then sucked up the berries and shot them out of the back in the form of juice.**

**Sticks' glare was intense.**

"I'm on Sticks' side here!" Amy exclaimed. "For all we know, she could've planted that whole orchard herself! And now it's all juice! _Dirty_ juice."

Sonic pursed his lips in thought. "But it was an accident! Tails was just tryin' to help her out."

Amy gave him a pointed look. "So you're telling me that if you _accidently_ run over someone on the sidewalk, that person can't be angry at you?"

Sonic knew exactly what she was referring to, and he believed that Amy was angrier that she was wearing a new outfit that day rather than being tackled itself. The blue speedster sheepishly scratched his nose. "I thought you saw me coming, Ames!"

"Right, because I had the time to dodge basically a bullet! I had a _tear_ in that dress because of you!"

"I repaid you, didn't I?"

"But it was limited edition and I had bought the _last one!"_

"It happened a couple months ago, Ames! Isn't it time to let it go?"

"It was a week ago!"

"Really? Huh."

"It was perfect! How would you feel if I…if I put holes in your shoes?"

"…You wouldn't dare."

Knuckles smirked at this argument, linking his hands behind his head. "You know, you two really sound like your doubles right now."

Amy wasn't affected by that statement, but Sonic instantly paled, knowing with the echidna was implying. "Amy, we gotta stop arguing now."

The pinkette blinked in surprise before glaring. "No! I'm still mad and-"

"Nope. Shh."

Amy puffed out her cheeks in agitation, and Knuckles couldn't hold in his laughter.

**Amy, Knuckles, and Sonic then jugged over, curious about the ruckus. "What happened here?" the pinkette worriedly asked.**

**Sonic grinned and crossed his arms. "Looks like Tails got himself into a…** _**jam** _ **."**

Even Sonic inwardly winced at that one.

Shadow swirled his drink, half-way done with it and _slowly_ but surely waking up. "He is definitely your twin, Faker."

Sonic shook his head vehemently. "I can't be as bad at that! I _refuse_ to think-" He turned to his most trustworthy friend. "Tails! Back me up here!"

Tails stayed silent, acting like he hadn't heard the question.

Knuckles was proud of the fox. "And if you listen carefully, you can hear Sonic's pride hit rock bottom."

Sonic pouted. He guessed that you only learn who your real friends were when you get trapped in an indestructible house with them and forced to watch your other-dimensional self go about their days in an episodic format.

Learned new things every day.

**He laughed to himself before raising a hand at Knuckles. "Get it?"**

" **Not at all!" the echidna responded confidently, clapping the high-five. "But I never leave a 'hog hanging!"**

Knuckles couldn't sigh loud enough.

"I would love to," Eggman muttered to himself, but he underestimated the hearing of the pests around him.

"Whoa, Eggy!" Sonic couldn't believe his ears. "That's dark!"

"Too dark!" Amy echoed, thinking that she would return to the topic of her dress when she could successfully corner Sonic.

"They're right, Eggman." Knuckles jumped in. "That's messed up."

Tails nodded. "Almost, dare I say it… _edgy_ …"

Eggman threw his hands in the air. "I get _all_ of this backlash for saying that, but Metal said earlier that he would _wear the cactus's pelt_ , and you all said nothing!"

"Because robots do not have morality," Metal explained.

"So I had split apart the planet, used baby animals to fuel my robots, awakened a water god, almost had the chance to _control time_ , and _this_ is the thing you call me out on?!"

Sonic crossed his arms. "I'm disappointed in you, Egghead."

Eggman clenched his teeth so hard that he was surprised that they didn't shatter.

Shadow had no idea what just happened, and he didn't care enough to ask.

**Amy approached Sticks and attempted to comfort her. "At least one tree is still standing!"**

**It turned out that the tree was a costume. The person in it quickly ran away.**

Amy's jaw dropped to the floor. "So it was really a spy?!"

"And we all doubted her…" Tails was going to give Sticks more credit from now on, because _wow_.

"So she is not insane?" Metal cocked his head at the screen. "She is simply observant."

Knuckles wouldn't go that far. "No, she's still crazy, but it _somehow_ worked for her this time. She couldn't have possibly known that spy was there! She just making a paranoid guess!"

Sonic rose a brow at the echidna, smirk growing on his muzzle. "I know you like being knee-deep in denial all the time, Knux, but no one could seriously make a random _guess_ about that."

"Apparently she can!"

Sonic rolled his eyes before asking the room, "Who was that guy? Did the other Eggy go recruiting?"

"I doubt it." Eggman crossed his arms, still fuming about their previous conversation. "That plan worked, so my twin couldn't be behind it."

Sonic chuckled. "We just found out that Sticks was right about in one of her wild guesses! Maybe your twin has somethin' up his sleeve too!"

"Let me repeat myself: I _doubt_ it."

**The scene switched to the inside of an unknown building. The guy in the tree costume was standing there along with three other people wearing red cloaks. They were all staring at a lone computer on a table, watching a replay of Tails' machine wreaking havoc.**

"So Eggman was right. These guys aren't with him!" Amy frowned up at the screen. "And it looks like we're wrong too…the bad guys are gonna go after Tails, not Sticks!"

Tails was a little worried about this, but Sonic wasn't concerned at all. "That's even better! Because nothing they do would convince Tails to join them. Point, blank, period!"

Knuckles completely agreed. "Whatever plan they're thinking of will be shut down immediately."

" **Such senseless destruction…" one the cloaked ones uttered deeply. "…Wonderful!"**

" **Our organization could use the mind that created this!" a second one exclaimed. "Send him a crimson letter…"**

Sonic suddenly burst out in laughter, putting all of the attention on him.

"What's so funny?" Tails questioned, burrowing his brow.

The chuckling speedster glanced over to Shadow, who had finished his drink. His annoyed gaze met Sonic's. Sonic tried to calm himself down with a deep breath. "Shads…what if this is your debut? You could be part of this new group! Just look at the shortest one! That could be you!"

"It _better_ not," Shadow nearly snarled, glaring at the television. They couldn't tell the identities of the three because of their cloaks, and Shadow _swore_ if he was part of this group of nobodies-

Knuckles leaned forward in his seat. "If you squint a bit, it _could_ be Shadow."

"The hell it isn't!"

"Did you not want to see yourself in an episode?" Metal asked, not cowering under the striped one's glare. "There you go."

Shadow said nothing, instead crushing his cup with his clenched fingers. His eyes were trained on the screen as the episode continued on.

**Once again returning to the orchard, Tails was busy planting seeds painstakingly row by row.**

" **I can't believe Sticks is making me replant the entire orchard!" Tails complained, sprinkling the seeds. "Now I'm going to miss the pie festival…"**

"He's missing a _pie_ festival?!" Amy gasped in shock. "I know I sided with Sticks, but that's just wrong! Let the kid have his pie!"

"Especially since he can plant the orchard right after!" Tails would've put up a bigger fight to go to the festival, and he was sure everyone else would have backed him up.

Eggman may be evil, but refusing someone pie was on a whole other level.

**The kit trailed off and paused in his flying when the three cloaked figures approached him.**

**The one in the middle held out a red envelope. "This is for you."**

**Tails hesitatingly took it, trying to open the letter but having some (a lot) of trouble.**

Knuckles snickered to himself. He guessed that both Tails and his double had a severe case of noodle arms.

**One of the cloaked figures suggested, "Uh, maybe it will be easier if we just told you."**

"Dunno, Shads…he does kinda sound like you…"

"Faker, shut _up_ if you don't want me to do something I won't regret."

"Like what? Sleep on my floor?"

Shadow's growl was animalistic.

**The stranger who had handed Tails the envelope nodded and regarded the kit, "Your ingenuity just earned you an invitation to the bi-monthly potluck dinner and raffle of the super secret exclusive club known as…"**

**One of the members played a tune on a kazoo; Tails wasn't amused by it.**

**The trio then exclaimed, "The Lightning Bolt Society!"**

If Shadow was the kazoo playing member of that dumbass society, he was going right to sleep – screw everything else.

"The…Lightning Bolt Society…?" Sonic stifled a laugh. "And who in the world came up with that name? Eggy, I think your twin _might_ actually have something to do with this. Either him or the other Knuckles."

Eggman couldn't refute that claim, both equally possible.

Knuckles nodded. "It's an even toss-up."

"They could have gone with the Spark Society for the alliteration!" Tails was sorely disappointed in whoever decided the name. "Or the Shock Society!"

Amy twirled one of her hanging quills. "The Lightning Society would've even worked! Simpler is sometimes better!"

Metal glanced between the two. "You are naming suggestions that they cannot hear. I hope you realize that."

" **Wow!" Tails gushed, expression brightening. "The Lightning Bolt Society?! Really?! I've never heard of it!"**

Knuckles saw what was coming, and his gut dropped. "Oh no…Tails is going to join them because of how oblivious he is! And because of how he isn't suspicious at _all_ of the cloaks."

"We gotta have hope!" Sonic chirped, though he had a bad feeling about this too.

**The kazoo player scoffed. "That's because it's super secret…** _**duh.** _ **"**

Shadow narrowed his eyes at the screen. That wasn't his voice. That _couldn't_ be his voice. He refused to believe that.

" **Come! We'll take you to our clubhouse."**

" **As much as I'd love to go off with you strangers…" Tails gestured to the empty field behind him. "My friends left me with an entire orchard to plant."**

"Yeah…this is going south…" Tails lowly commented. "But then again, if my twin does join, he should figure out what's going on fast enough! And plus, I really don't think these guys are _that_ evil. They don't look like it."

"…Eggman doesn't look evil." Amy gave the instantly irritated human a once-over. Her observation was especially true with his half-clothed status.

"I see your point."

**The quietest third member whipped out a device that looked similar to a blaster. He loaded Tails' seeds into it and fired them all around the field in under a minute.**

Shadow resisted the urge to be impressed.

**Tails was awed. "Cool gizmo! How much was it?"**

"Show Tails a cool tool, and he's hooked just like that!" Sonic snapped his fingers.

Tails hated to admit that the speedster was right.

**The leader to the side was the one who answered. "Let's just say...it was a** _**steal.** _ **"**

Knuckles rose a brow. "So they're nothing but measly thieves? Yeah, Tails potentially joining them isn't that big of a deal. It'll be resolved by the end of this show anyway."

"Which is in about seven and a half minutes," Metal supplied.

The echidna groaned. "I time _has_ to move slower in here."

**The fox tapped his chin before grinning. "Well, my work here is done! And since I missed the festival, I think I will take you up on that potluck!"**

**The kazoo player turned to his fellow members. "Notify the membership at once."**

**Eggman's evil lair was shown next-**

There went Eggman's hopes and dreams.

**-and said human was playing a game at his desk. He was shooting water at a small squirrel.**

" **I've got him now!" The screen Eggman was looking at zoomed in onto the animal. "You've stolen your last Sunder paper, you furry little mutant!"**

"Is that what you do in your free-time, Eggy?" Sonic asked with a smirk. "Do you play games that give ya the illusion of winning?"

"I will _never_ sink that low, rodent!" Eggman glowered at him. He didn't specify which question he was refuting to, however. Games were fun on occasion, especially the one about crushing candy.

**Just as he was going to blast the animal, his target was suddenly blocked by something. "Ah! Pop-up!" Eggman shouted in frustration before leaning forward in curiosity. "Wait, what's this?"**

" **It appears to be a status update from the Lightning Bolt Society," Orbot uttered.**

**Eggman snorted. "Pfft! More like Lightning** _**Dolt** _ **Society! That clever play on words should indicate that I think they're a bunch of pests."**

Eggman was slightly glad that his twin wasn't in charge of the society. He wouldn't have to add that to the 'things he hated about his double' list.

"Wait…" Amy wracked her brain. "The society is the enemy of the heroes' enemy? So wouldn't that make our twins and the new guys friends?"

"In theory, but I doubt that's going to happen." Knuckles huffed. "They don't seem like the 'helping heroes' type."

**There was a flashback. Eggman was standing outside of his base, watching cloaked figures search through his trash can.**

**The human picked up a mop and brandished it like a weapon. "Hey, you bums! Get out of my trash!"**

" **Run!" one of them yelled out, and they all ran away. A cloaked member had the seed-shooting device in his hands.**

" _Definitely_ not the 'helping heroes' type."

**After a moment, one invader came back and took a slice of pizza from the bin before running away again.**

Eggman couldn't exactly fault them for that.

Shadow grew more and more tense with every passing second. His double did _not_ just dig in the trash because he was somewhere else and _not_ part of that idiotic group.

**Eggman glared at them. "Gotta invent some device to keep those losers out of my garbage." He reached down and placed a brick on the closed bin. "There! That oughta do it."**

"Only one brick?" Sonic tisked. "Has he not dealt with raiders before?"

Tails shook his head. "Obviously not! There has to be at _least_ two bricks."

"Two? I was thinkin' three, because there were three members."

"Hm…"

Metal turned toward them, not liking how some of his joints moved stiffly. This condition would not last long, he was sure. "I do not know if you two are serious, and that concerns me."

Sonic tilted his head at the bot, lips twitching upwards. "What? Do you think he needs four bricks?"

"But that's overkill!" Tails exclaimed. "He wouldn't be able to get into his own trash at this rate!"

"…This is a joke. I understand now."

**Back to the present, Eggman was pacing in front of his helper bots. "Why would those wanna-be's initiate Tails into their group? If they're working with Sonic, I'll** _**never** _ **get them out of my trash!" He pointed in a random direction. "To the Eggmobile!"**

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Right, because they would _really_ help the society dumpster dive."

Sonic snickered. "That brick is a doozy, Knux. You gotta remember that!"

**Sonic, Knuckles, Sticks – holding a pie – and Amy was then seen walking back to the orchard.**

" **Tails?" Amy called out. "We're back! Sticks won, and we've got some pie for you!"**

Amy deadpanned at her other self. "Look what you guys did! You refused Tails pie, and he goes to join an evil group!"

Tails nodded. "Pie is one of the most influential desserts out there."

**The quartet looked around only to find that Tails wasn't there.**

" **He's gone…" Sonic said.**

" **And all the seeds are planted!" Sticks frowned. "There's no way he could've done it so fast! Unless he used-"**

" **One of his inventions," Amy interjected.**

**Sticks glanced at her. "I was gonna say alien magic, but that was a good guess."**

"I was going to comment on the alien magic, but then I remembered that it was actually a _thing_ a while back." Knuckles threw a look over at Shadow, recalling it raining aliens left and right, a tentacled glob leading all of it.

Shadow shrugged. "Not my fault."

**Strange sounds then filled the air, making the heroes look forward and gape in surprise. Giant thorned plants with purple petals were growing quickly out of the ground. They growled at the anthros with their sharp teeth bared.**

"Y'know, that _does_ look like the result of alien magic," Sonic admitted.

**The heroes took a couple cautious steps back.**

" **What's going on here?!" Amy was beyond shocked.**

**Sticks opened her mouth, but then she stepped on something. Peering down, the badger saw a red envelope with a sticker on it. She picked it up and sniffed the paper. "What's this? Some kind of…pulped wood?"**

"My double doesn't know how to read, Sticks doesn't know what an envelope is…" Knuckles began in exasperation. "What's next?"

Tails played with one of his namesakes. "There are endless possibilities…"

"I'm mad that you're absolutely right."

**Amy snatched it out of her hand. "It's an** _**envelope** _ **, Sticks!" The pinkette ripped it open and began to read the letter inside. "Tails is invited to join the…Lightning Bolt Society?"**

**Sonic narrowed his eyes. "Wait, aren't those the crooks who are always stealing from the village fruit stand?"**

**Knuckles chuckled. "They've clearly mistaken Tails for a lemon. What fools!"**

Knuckles' face-palm was audible.

Sonic laughed out loud. "Think of the positives, Knux! He could've said lime!"

**The growth of more violent flowers gained everyone's attention.**

**Sonic focused on Knuckles and Sticks. "You two stay here and keep these traps shut. Amy and I are going after Tails." The blue speedster grabbed Amy's arm, and they ran off.**

"Ooo!" Amy leaned forward in her seat in anticipation. "They're technically holding hands!"

Sonic slumped. " _Arms_ , there's a difference…"

**At the clubhouse, Tails was piling food onto his plate with other members conversating in the background.**

" **Tails!" The kit turned to see the trio who had invited him. Their hoods were down. A weasel was greeting him-**

This was the most relieved Shadow had felt in a _long_ time.

**-with a walrus and Dave quietly looking on. "Welcome! Such an honor! I assume you've met everyone?"**

Tails furrowed his brow. "Does he not recognize Dave, or…?"

"Yeah, seeing Dave should have been a red flag!" Amy put her hands on her hips. "What gives?"

Knuckles hated to say this. "Tails is still at the top of my favorite character list, but he just jumped down a bit. Sonic's a close second now."

**The fox shook his head. "Actually, no." He gestured off to the side. "Though, that tree looks really familiar."**

**It was the same person in the tree costume. He was having difficulty getting it off. "The zipper's stuck," he grunted out before holding a hand out to Tails. "Nice to meet ya!" The kit shook his hand. The guy smiled amiably before asking, "Have you tried the shrimp?"**

Amy's brain was trying its hardest to process what it was seeing. "These are the friendliest bad guys I've ever seen! How come you've never offered us shrimp, Eggman?"

"Because I hate you all, and do I look like a chef to you?"

Amy decided not to answer that.

**Tails instantly ran over to the bowl and dumped the whole thing onto his plate.**

" **What did you bring to the potluck?" the walrus questioned.**

**Tails faced him, his expression a bit guilty. "Oh, uh…" He pulled out a filled jar. "All I had was beige berry jelly."**

**Dave took the jar, opened it, and tasted the jelly. He immediately spat it out, eying the container suspiciously. "It's full of dirt and twigs!"**

Sonic tapped his foot on the floor. "Is the other Tails _really_ not going to address Dave? Like at all?"

"It's like he forgot that he almost destroyed the world!" Saying that Tails was confused was an understatement. His twin should have been out of there by now!

**The tree guy snickered. "Hah! I told ya he was evil. Do I know how to pick 'em or what?"**

"He picked the best friend of the world's fastest hedgehog." Sonic boasted, ignoring the heated stare coming from Shadow. "So, no. He does _not_ know how to pick 'em.

**Standing on a box outside the clubhouse was Sonic and Amy.**

Amy couldn't control her smile.

**They were peeking in a window, watching Tails interact with the members.**

**Sonic was the first to speak. "I say we crash through the window."**

" **I say that we dress up like pizza delivery guys," Amy offered instead.**

" **My idea has pizzazz," Sonic argue, shifting his gaze onto her.**

**Amy turned to him too, putting a hand on her hip. "My idea has** _**pizza.** _ **"**

"Comments about the type of argument _aside._ " Sonic pointedly looked at the smug Knuckles. "I gotta side with Ames on this one. Pizza over pizzazz all day every day!"

"Definitely can't eat pizzazz!" Amy agreed.

Metal had to ask, "Is pizza a good consumable?"

Sonic almost felt bad for the bot. "It's one of the best! I would wish for you to get a chance to taste it, but…yeah, no." No more robotic transfers for him.

" **Pizzazz!" Sonic rose his voice.**

**Amy met his volume. "Pizza!"**

**Sonic scowled. "Pizzazz!"**

**Amy clearly wasn't backing down. "Pizza!"**

**The front door opened behind them. A janitor looked at them, raising a hand while the other gripped a trash bag. "Hey, can you strangers hold this door open while I go-"**

" **Not now!" the two hedgehogs angrily yelled at him.**

Knuckles chuckled loudly. "There's no doubt now."

"They _have_ to be dating!" Amy squealed. "That's like the _perfect_ example of a lover's quarrel! Oh my gosh! I just need to see them on _one_ date!"

Sonic couldn't fight it any more either. All of the hints where there, and his soul had successfully left his body. "I'd rather not…"

Knuckles was way too amused by that. "You know it's coming sooner or later."

"Later, please, with a side of never."

"That didn't even make sense."

"I'm grieving, Knux. Let me grieve."

**The janitor deadpanned at them, threw the trash to the side, and reentered the clubhouse, closing the door behind him.**

**The pair went back to arguing.**

" **Pizzazz!"**

" **Pizza!"**

Tails frowned. "Is it really that serious?"

"No, it isn't!" Amy gushed. "And I love it!"

**Inside the building, the walrus was so talking up on a stage. "The Lightning Bolt Society is proud to welcome our newest member! He's a deforestation sensation and a** _ **berry**_ **bad boy! I give you…Tails!"**

Knuckles propped his chin up in his palm. "I'm still confused to why he's still there."

"Are we just gonna ignore that terrible pun?" Sonic asked.

"Yes," was uttered by all in the room.

**Two of the members carried the fox to the stage, letting him drop down on it. It was silent, everyone staring at him with a blank face, until the walrus added, "He brought the jam with the dirt in it."**

**The room erupted with applause.**

"He was the only one not wearing a cloak! How did they not-" Knuckles cut himself off. "I'm just not going to ask any more questions."

**Tails removed his goggles to make room for the red hat the leader placed on his head. The kit smiled sheepishly. "Oh uh…thanks! It's an honor to be around so many…" His smile slipped a bit as he stared at the members with cloaks over them. Tails pointed to his own hat. "Guys with hats like this one!"**

Sonic hummed to himself. "Is that really Tails? Or did he get abducted by aliens or something?"

Tails absently scratched his arm. "I wouldn't mind that plot twist actually…"

" **With an evil genius like Tails to lead us," the walrus began. "We could go from two-bit crooks, to four-bit crooks! Or, dare I say it,** _ **eight**_ **-bit crooks!"**

"Nowhere _close,"_ Eggman muttered. A group that stole another man's dirty trash wasn't even on the spectrum.

" **Yes!" Dave cheered with a malicious smirk. "Combining the warped genius of Tails' deforestation machine and Eggman's mutant seed gun, we can finally launch our master plan! To control all the fruit in the village!" His voice dropped to a devious whisper. "And beyond…"**

No one had any words for that.

" **Yeah, uh…" Tails scratched the back of his head. "Having understood very little of that-" He brow a brow at the leader. "-did I hear the word** _ **evil**_ **in there?"**

"The word 'crooks' didn't set you off?" Amy was happy the other was _finally_ catching on, but that took too long. "Or the cloaks? Or _Dave?_ " Was her twin and Sonic still arguing outside? They needed to get their butts inside; they could kiss and make up later! …hopefully on screen.

" **Indeed!" The walrus didn't beat around the bush. "With you as our evil leader, we'll be unstoppable…when it comes to fruit."**

**Tails rubbed the back of his neck this time. "Yeah…" he looked away. "Um, well, this is a little embarrassing, but…" Tails took off his hat. "I'm not evil."**

**Shocked gasps echoed around the room.**

"They all knew who he was." This was so confusing that Shadow couldn't stay quiet about it. "Why the hell are they so surprised? Tails probably stopped one of their stupid fruit raids in the past."

**The walrus clenched his fists. "You've betrayed us all!"**

**The weasel shrugged, looking a little lost. "That sounds pretty evil to me."**

**Dave scratched his forehead in befuddlement. "Now I'm just confused…"**

Knuckles rubbed his temples. "Eggman, never become that incompetent. Please."

It was painful for the doctor to watch. "If I ever do, I have gone senile and I give you permission to put me out of my misery."

**It was at that moment when Sonic crashed through the window, landing safely on the floor. Amy ran in a second after him, carrying a pizza box.**

"They compromised! The best couple move!"

"Hey Ames, can you calm down a _bit-"_

"Nope!"

**Tails perked up. "Guys?"**

" **Tails!" Sonic and Amy chirped at the same time.**

**They began to run over to the kit, but a beam of light crashed through the ceiling. Eggman used it as a pole to slide down, the two hedgies crying out, "Eggman?!"**

"Wait, isn't the clubhouse supposed to be super secret or something?" Tails scratched his head, befuddled. "How did he find it so fast?"

"He must've heard the other Sonic and Amy arguing outside," Knuckles answered with a taunting chuckle.

**Sonic then recovered with an impressed smile on his muzzle. "I gotta admit, that had pizzazz."**

"He just put a hole in the roof."

"That _is_ a pretty cool pole though."

"You are too easily impressed, copy."

" **Sonic…" Eggman frowned. "I've seen through your plan to team up with the Lightning Bolts!"**

**Sonic wasn't expecting that. "What? I thought** _**you** _ **teamed up with them! I'm here to rescue Tails!" Beside him, Amy pointedly coughed. Sonic quickly mended his statement. "We! I said we, didn't I?"**

"Well, we all know now who wears the pants in that relationship."

"I'm _so_ glad that you're having fun with this, Knux."

**Eggman gestured to himself. "Me? Team up with** _**these** _ **dolts?"**

**Dave deflated. "Hey, hey! Words hurt…"**

**Eggman continued like he hadn't spoken. "I'd never team up with these…" He fumbled for a better insult but came up short. "Dolts! I'm sorry, there's not another word for you."**

Shadow snorted at that, resisting the urge to get more comfortable by laying on the floor. He knew that if he did that, he'd be out in a second – coffee be damned. "I can think of _plenty_ of words."

**He placed his hands on his hip. "So, whose side are you on?"**

" **We're doing our best to be bad!" the walrus explained.**

"They…actually may be worse than that dimension's Eggman," Amy observed.

Knuckles nodded. "They've achieved the impossible."

" **Then** _ **get Sonic!**_ **" Eggman shouted in exasperation.**

**The leader frowned up. "We don't have any weapons!"**

" **Now what kind of villains** _ **are**_ **you?" Eggman growled. "** _ **Find**_ **some!"**

Sonic barked out a laugh. "Can we even call them villains? They're obviously just broke fruit lovers."

Tails pursed his lips. "…How exactly do you take over the world using fruit anyway?"

"Two words," Eggman interjected. "Killer pineapples."

All attention was on the human now. Sonic narrowed his eyes, both amused and flabbergasted. "Have you…thought about this before, Eggy?"

"I trash a _lot_ of diabolical plans, rodent."

**All of the members silently searched around the clubhouse until they all focused on the food table. They sprinted for the edible ammo threw all that they could get their hands on at Amy and Sonic.**

**They easily dodged them all.**

**The attack didn't last long, the Lightning Bolts quickly running out of food.**

Amy couldn't help be to laugh at the society. They were too terrible to take seriously. "I give them an A for effort!"

"They did not think of throwing the table," Metal said. "They deserve a C at best."

**Eggman was not impressed. "Really? That's all you could come up with? I'm not gonna say it, but you know what I'm thinking." He leaned forward. "You** _**dolts.** _ **"**

**Dave just gave him a pointed look.**

"It's safe to say that Dave's not going to work with Eggman anytime soon…" Tails uttered. This was good because one of the few times that Eggman had come close to winning was due to that fiending fry cook.

**Sonic glanced at the human. "Looks like it's just you and me." Amy loudly cleared her throat, and the speedster stumbled over his words. "I-I mean you** _**plural** _ **as in two of you…and me."**

"And if you look to the right, you'll see a female hedgehog threatening her nervous mate." Knuckles grinned as he did a poor imitation of a tour guide. "It is a sight to see, folks; both interesting and _hilarious._ "

Amy laughed at that while Sonic wondered if taping the echidna's mouth shut was worth the black eye.

**Eggman was running out of patience. "Hey, hey! Are we going to battle or what?"**

" **Actually, Dr. Eggman sir?" The tree clad member shyly spoke up. "I was wondering if you could autograph my trunk?"**

**The rest of the club jumped at the same opportunity, waving around their hats for the doctor to sign.**

**Sonic smirked. "You seem busy, Mr. Popularity. I'll catch you on the flip-flop."**

Eggman was pleasantly surprised. His twin wasn't _that_ bad this episode. But then again, he only had a couple minutes of screen time.

**There was a jump-cut to Knuckles punching the dangerous flowers while Stick stomped on them. She paused it what she was doing when she saw Amy and Sonic running back, the former with her hammer out.**

**Knuckles didn't look too happy. "Uh, it** _**rained** _ **while you were gone."**

Amy blinked, perplexed. "But when did it…they weren't gone for that long!"

"Maybe the _luck balance_ shifted out of their favor for a moment or something," Knuckles guessed. He couldn't think of any other explanation.

**Amy sprinted into the fray and knocked the flowers out of the ground with her hammer. Sonic ran circles around the plants to tie them up before spin dashing their 'heads' off.**

**The heroes were then distracted by Tails' berry machine, it plowing its way through. Tails walked up, controlling the invention as it mowed down the flowers. Once the orchard was cleaned up, the fox held up his remote in victory.**

Tails was happy that his twin's hard work wasn't all for naught, and that he hadn't got blown up by Sonic for no reason.

**Sonic was impressed. "Nice going, Tails!"**

" **I guess that machine of yours was good for something after all," Sticks admitted, her tone light.**

**Tails smirked. "And your paranoid ramblings weren't completely detached from reality."**

"This _one_ time," Knuckles reminded.

**Sticks rolled her eyes good naturally. "Good talk, now get planting!" Tails could only blink at her. "I'd stay and help, but a very nice tree invited me and my pie to a potluck dinner at some lodge." She walked away with a pep in her step.**

"No one's gonna stop her? Alright."

"Maybe because they know the society won't hurt her?" Tails replied to Sonic, going out on a limb here.

**At Meh Burger, Dave placed a hamburger on the counter in front of him.**

Amy threw her hands up in exasperation. "We could've just ended the episode there! This is like a few extra seconds we'll never get back and will always regret losing!"

Knuckles slowly drifted his gaze over to the pinkette. "Are you alright over there, Amy?"

"I'm upset."

" **Oops…almost forgot the sesame seeds." His smile was wicked as he pulled out the seed gun and shot mutated seeds on the bun. He darkly laughed as he picked up the burger and took a bite.**

"Welp, there's bad news and good news." Sonic began, clasping her hands together. "Bad news is that Dave is clearly crazy and might need to be institutionalized, and good news is that this episode is over! That's another one down!"

"And another one ends where my double does not show up _once._ " Shadow glowered.

"Mine has not either, but you do not see me pouting like a toddler."

The striped hedgehog glared at the robot. However, he marginally relaxed his expression when he realized that enough time had passed. "Stand up."

Metal's opticals flashed. "There is no reason for me to do so."

"If you don't stand up right now, you are proving that I – and even Faker – am better than you."

"There is no correlation-"

"Then there is no reason not to do it."

Metal stared at him for a moment – the rest of the room wondering what in the world was going on – before standing out of his seat.

And immediately crashing to the floor.

Shadow smirked at the downed mech, watching as he mentally calculated what just happened.

Eventually, Metal uttered, "Both of my arms and my left leg are immobile."

Shadow got up to his feet and took the robot's seat without any hesitation. His tired muscles quickly relaxed in this position, and he opened his mouth, "Don't mess with the Ultimate Lifeform ever again."

Metal's limbs twitched, a dull scraping noise filling the room, but only his right leg had full mobility. "…Doctor, I blame you for not making me coffee-proof."

Eggman sighed. "Like with the sense of taste, I _apologize_ for not thinking of this _exact_ situation when building you. Coffee projectiles are _so_ obvious. How could I overlook them?"

Sonic snickered to himself. "The sass is strong in this one!"

Before Metal could attempt to belittle Eggman again, an unexpected voice rung out. "Knock, knock!" Everyone – Metal could barely move his head to the side – shifted their attention to the front door. There was Rouge, holding her gifts.

Rouge walked in the open doorway, Amy's dress in one hand and Eggman's shirt and pants in the other. "Come and get it!" she called out as the pinkette jumped up in excitement, doing a little dance. "I hope you appreciate that I'm such a nice-" Rouge just now noticed Metal on the ground. She continued like she hadn't seen anything. "-person."

"Thank you so much, Rouge!" Amy squealed as she grabbed her change of clothes. She could actually look _presentable_ now for Sonic! That'll up her chances!

When Amy sprinted for the bathroom, Rouge didn't wait for Eggman to get up. She tossed the clothes over to the human. "You're welcome."

Eggman lifted his shirt, and his cheeks immediately reddened in anger. "Why is this so _big?!_ " The shirt was quintuple XL. He didn't even know that they _sold_ shirts this large! "You were better off buying me a tent!"

Rouge put her hands on her hips. "The thought actually crossed my mind, but that would've been too cruel, don't you think?"

Eggman growled before throwing on his blanket of a shirt, the end of it hanging over his knees. He disregarded the snickers around the room as he put on his pants, or rather, _attempted_ to put them on. They didn't make it past his knees.

"Oops." Rouge didn't look apologetic at all. "I thought I had grabbed a bigger size…"

Sonic was doubling over in his chair. "Rouge, you're the best, I swear!"

"Thank you, hon. I try." Rouge smirked before focusing on the amused striped hedgie. "I see you're up and running, sugar."

Shadow inwardly flinched, frowning on the outside. That damned word gave him flashbacks. "Don't call me that again."

Rouge completely understood. Shadow looked like he'd been run over by a truck. Twice.

The bat then rose a hand in the wave, ready to get out of the cursed house. "Alright, I'm not spending another second in this hellscape-" She glanced at Tails. "No offense, hon."

Tails sighed. "None taken."

"I'm taking off before I end up like Metal on the floor." Rouge flapped her wings to get airborne.

"You're not a robot, and coffee hadn't been thrown at you," Knuckles grunted. "So you'd be fine, bat-girl."

"…I'm not taking my chances." Rouge winked at him. "After picking up Omega for extra support, I'll track down that jeweled beauty."

"That inferior model?" Metal questioned from his position on the ground. "Bring him here so I can show my superiority."

Sonic eyed the partially frozen bot. "For some reason, I don't think that'll happen, Metal."

Rouge smirked. "Let him dream, hon." She giggled. "Alright, I'm off!" She flew out just as Amy reentered the living room, happily waving her goodbye.

"…Will someone assist me?"

"No." Shadow instantly declined the robot.

"Can you see the TV from where you are?" Tails asked.

"I cannot."

The kit glimpsed at the black hero. "We have to help him out, Shadow…"

"You're saying 'we', but I'm not moving."

Sonic rolled his eyes as he stood up. "I got 'em, I got 'em!" The blue speedster approached the downed robot and picked him up by a leg. "Ready for your first shower, Mets?"

"Do not make this situation more positive than it actually is."

"Do you not know me?"

"Unfortunately, I do."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the chapters before this one had been doing every episode in order, but the episodes from here on out were chosen from a vote a long time ago on ff.net. The rest of the chapters, in chronological order, will be:  
> 1\. Tails' crush  
> 2\. Battle of the boy bands  
> 3\. Hedgehog day  
> 4\. Fire in a crowded workshop  
> 5\. The curse of the buddy buddy temple  
> 6\. Sole power  
> 7\. Blue with envy  
> 8\. Mayor knuckles  
> 9\. Two good to be true  
> 10\. Cabin fever  
> 11\. Bro-down showdown  
> 12\. Designated heroes  
> 13\. New year's retribution  
> 14\. Role models  
> 15\. Just a guy

Amy giggled to herself in her seat, happily patting her dress. She owed Rouge one for helping her out. "I feel a thousand times better now!" She felt freer, and now she didn't have to worry about random strands of dried drool on her clothes.

Eggman was feeling the complete opposite. "I'm _so_ glad that you feel that way, rodent. I wish that I could say the same, but I have some middle schooler's pants around my _ankles._ "

Amy wasn't going to let Eggman bring her mood down. Every happy moment during this house arrest should be treasured. "You should be better off now, Eggman! I know _we_ are because you finally have a shirt."

Knuckles, Shadow, and Tails nodded in agreement, the visual torture having been turned down a notch.

Eggman saw her point, but still. He had no _pants_.

Multiple pairs of eyes then swiveled to the robot re-entering the living room, his impromptu shower thankfully short. Tails was numb watching water puddles form under Metal's feet, ruining the already ruined carpet.

Metal paused in his stride, and his first words were, "I despise you, Ultimate Lifeform."

"The feeling's mutual," Shadow lowly drawled, hoping that Rouge came with the Chaos emerald before the caffeine left his system. Or before all of them went completely insane. Either one.

The robot glared before aiming for the last remaining chair. However, there was a blue blur and suddenly the seat was occupied with a smirking Sonic. "You're too slow, Mets! Step it up next time!"

If Metal hadn't completely done away with maiming his copy for purely existing, he would've tried to claw out the other's throat. Knowing what pain felt like really dampened his violent streak, unfortunately.

The robot sank down to the floor, uttering, "I despise all hedgehogs."

Amy gasped in surprise. "What about me?"

"Answer pending."

Knuckles crossed his arms, ready to get this show on the road. "Enough about the lack of pants and vindictive wet robots, let's just start the next episode alread-" His voice died out when static filled the air. The occupants' attention shifted to the television showing white noise. "Uh…"

The impinging sound echoed around until the screen went black. Before anyone could comment, the number seventeen popped into view, its blood red color contrasting the darkness around it. Then, the number burst into flames, pulsating red every second.

Tails slowly blinked. "…Is anyone else suddenly terrified? Or is it just me?"

"What…What does it mean?!" Amy began breathing heavier. She'd just been able to change clothes, and then _this_ happens? "That we have seventeen years left to live? Months? Weeks? Days? Minutes? _Seconds?!"_

Knuckles had to stop her screeching then and there. "Considering that we're not dead already, I don't think it's seconds, Amy."

Amy released a relieved sigh. "So…minutes then?"

"I don't think that's the case either, Ames…" Sonic deduced. Hopefully it wasn't, because seventeen minutes trapped with a frenzied and desperate Amy was _not_ the way he wanted to go. The hedgehog eyed the flames. "Maybe the _thing_ will eventually explain it?"

As soon as those words were uttered, the numbers were then replaced by the name of the episode.

"Sole Power?" Tails tapped his chin, a little confused. "Is that like…the power of being alone? Or the power of the bottom of someone's foot?"

"Both sound ridiculous," Shadow grunted. "So, it could very well be either."

"Are we just going to forget about the flaming numbers, or what?" Knuckles asked, the event being too out-there to disregard.

Amy shook her head. "I didn't forget about it! But, we can't really do anything about it except hope that we won't die within the next seventeen minutes."

Eggman crossed that out as a possibility. "The _thing_ has kept us here and made us go through _too_ much to just kill us off like that." He didn't know if this was wishful thinking or not, but Sonic's demise had to be by _his_ hands, not anyone else's.

"It could be how many times it plans to switch our bodies."

Sonic shuddered. "Why just _why_ would you say that, Metal? You're giving it ideas!"

"…Cookies are exceptional, copy."

Amy played the episode as Sonic tried and failed to come up with a counterargument.

**The scene began in the middle of a canyon. Sonic and Tails were sitting in the fox's yellow hovercraft. "What's so awesome that you had to bring me all the way out here?" the azure speedster asked his companion.**

Knuckles perked up. This one already looked promising. "A Sonic and Tails episode? That's what I'm talking about."

"Isn't it a little early to be predicting the plot, Knuckles?" Tails asked. Literally _anything_ could happen in eleven minutes, especially in that universe of surprises.

The echidna nodded. "Sure, but I want to live in the moment where nothing insane is happening." He breathed out a pleasant sigh. "It feels great."

**Tails smiled excitedly at him. "Check it out." He looked at the dashboard of his vehicle. "Voice…activated…controls. Start engine." He enunciated the last two words so they would be recognized.**

**The hovercraft promptly started up and lifted up into the air.**

Tails was glad that the show didn't start off with another explosion to the face. "That's pretty cool!" He'd tried voice-controlled stuff before, but the controls ended up a bit finicky. Hopefully things went better for his twin.

"I want this to go well…" Amy began. "…but that universe has a history of uh…"

"Being completely disastrous?" Knuckles provided.

"Yeah!"

"I have faith!" Tails replied positively.

Metal produced a scoff. "Famous last words."

**Sonic was impressed. "Huh. Let me try! Give me a chocolate shake," he ordered. A compartment on the dashboard opened, and a mechanical arm held out a vanilla shake. Sonic wasn't impressed anymore as he took it. "Vanilla? I asked for chocolate. Fail."**

"I wouldn't exactly call it a fail," Sonic pursed his lips. "But yeah, that's a pretty serious thing to mess up. At least it didn't give him strawberry." He stuck out his tongue in disgust.

Amy gasped like he had insulted all of her ancestors. "You don't like strawberry?! Who _are_ you?! It's like I don't even know you anymore!"

Sonic help up placating hands. "Whoa, calm down, Ames! Strawberry is okay, but it's like…just get a smoothie! Don't ruin a milkshake with _fruits._ "

Amy glared at him. "I'm still unhappy because strawberry milkshakes are the _best!_ Have you even tried it before?"

"I have! It's just that I like chocolate bet-"

"You're not allowed to have an opinion!"

**The mechanical arm reappeared with a cup of chocolate. It poured the liquid all over the hedgehog's head, making the hero gasp.**

"Out of all of the things to go wrong, that isn't so bad," Knuckles commented, grinning at chocolate-covered speedster. Amy agreed with him, needing that visual after the mind-boggling conversation she just had.

**Surprise flashed on Tails' face until he meekly smiled. "Still working out the kinks…" He pointed in a general direction. "Uh, there's a towel back at the workshop."**

**Somewhat annoyed, Sonic placed the vanilla shake down and hopped out of the hovercraft before sprinting away. Tails then cried out in pain when a sudden loud noise impinged his ears. He covered them until the vehicle seemed to lose control, flying all over the place.**

"So I was right?" Tails reluctantly asked, feeling bad for his twin. "This one is about the power of Sonic's feet?"

"I guess?" Sonic frowned to himself. "Though, isn't it just a sonic boom? People shouldn't be surprised about it!"

"Yeah, _shouldn't_." Knuckles spoke up. "But who knows at this point."

"Perhaps it is surprising for them." Metal stared at the screen from his position on the ground. "From what I have seen, my copy's copy does not run as fast as my copy."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "I _have_ a name, Mets."

"Irrelevant."

Sonic moved on, knowing that he would be arguing with a slightly damp brick wall. "Anyway, Metal has a point!" Sonic tapped his chin, a grin growing on his muzzle. "Yeah, my twin is fast, but he isn't _my_ fast."

"Or my fast," Metal and Shadow echoed at once, giving each heated looks.

Sonic waved them off. "Yeah yeah, or as fast as the second-rate speedsters." The glares set on him rivaled the heat of the sun. "But seriously, maybe he reached a new milestone in this one! Way to go, other me!"

"And my double can't even take over with that slow hedgehog protecting it…" Eggman shook his head in disappointment.

"Now you have even more things to empathize with your twin with," Metal said without missing a beat.

Eggman's mustache flared. "Metal, I _swear_ one day I will melt you down into a _cupcake tray!"_

After a moment of thought, Amy said, "Hey, it's better than a toaster."

Metal's opticals flashed. "I am sure there are many reasons a toaster is better-"

"Cupcakes are on par with cookies _._ "

"I retract my previous statement."

**Sonic ran through the village, and the loud noise he produced caused the villagers to cover their ears in pain. Sonic paid no attention to them as he sprinted in the direction of Tails' workshop. Once inside, the loud sound stopped when he did.**

**The azure speedster wiped the chocolate with a towel and rushed back out of the building, the noise echoing once more.**

"Yeah, you might be right, Sonic." Knuckles commented, still basking in his non-insanity happiness. The discovery of a sonic boom paled in comparison to, let's say…huge mustaches on the heroes due to the consumption of evil cookies. "Your double's living up to his name now."

Sonic nodded. "Yep! Now let's see how long it'll take before he realizes that he might be permanently destroying everyone's eardrums."

**Tails was then shown flying uncontrollably in his hovercraft through a canyon. "Um, voice control? I don't mean to be bossy, but…don't crash!" He tried and failed to gain control, and his eyes grew huge at the giant molten hole coming up. "Uh oh…"**

Tails knew all about preserving his amazing creations, but if he was in danger of falling in a pit filled with bubbling red hot lava, yeah…it was bye-bye hovercraft.

**To the kit's luck, his vehicle screeched to a halt right before tipping into the active volcano. Tails sighed out in relief. The peace didn't las long however, because Sonic was running through the canyon again, and the harmful noise reached the poor fox.**

Amy squinted at the screen, doubts entering her head. "Is it just me…or is he not going fast enough to make a sonic boom? Like, I'm no scientist, but when Sonic produces one, he shoots off like a rocket!"

" _Faster_ than a rocket, but I get what you're sayin', Ames." Sonic tapped his chin, regarding his double. "And it's true, that's barely a jog!"

"So it's a mystery…" Tails muttered, his brain already trying to come up with answers for the noise.

**Tails gasped in shock, covering his ears, and his vehicle beeped before flying right off the cliff. Sonic's expression morphed into surprise seeing this, and Tails screamed for his life as he plummeted to his doom.**

Knuckles furrowed his brow, still hanging in his happy place. "And he hasn't bailed out yet because…?"

Tails shrugged. "Maybe panic caused his concentration to scatter?"

"You mean common sense."

"…It can be interchangeable, yeah."

**Sonic sprinted down the ramp of the hole, circling the falling fox until pushing off the rock and spin dashing the hovercraft. The hit launched the vehicle back onto solid ground, and Sonic landed beside it.**

**The hedgehog smirked at the kit. "I guess voice-activated rocket thrusters are a bad idea when you're screaming."**

Shadow scoffed. "So, Rose is forbidden from owning any voice-activated machines."

Amy puffed out her cheeks and glared at him. "Rude!"

"I know."

**Tails took off his seatbelt, throwing the other a flat look. "I wouldn't have been screaming if** _**you** _ **weren't making that horrible noise!"**

**Sonic's brow furrowed in confusion. "What noise? I didn't hear any noise."**

**Tails tapped his chin. "Wait a minute…" He jumped out of the hovercraft, approaching the speedster. "I bet because you're faster than the speed of sound, you don't hear it."**

Tails tilted his head in slight confusion. "But he isn't faster than sound all the time! He should still hear it while running at his speed."

"Is everything just slower in that universe?" Sonic asked, "Because I honestly wouldn't be surprised if that was a thing."

**Sonic put a hand on his hip. "I'll prove it wasn't me!" He wagged a finger. "When I start running and nothing happens, you are going to feel** _**so** _ **dumb." Sonic began running, and Tails instantly screamed with the sound attacked his eardrums. The hedgie skid to a halt and crossed his arms. "Now…that's just circumstantial evidence."**

"That is like saying the doctor is a failure because he loses all the time is circumstantial evidence." Metal started, "It is direct evidence, or in other words, a fact."

Eggman deadpanned at the robot. "Even though I have _nothing_ to do with this, you still manage to rope me in."

"It is expected at this point."

**The scene switched to the workshop. Tails was holding a reflex hammer, and Sonic was sitting on a table.**

" **Sonic," the kit began. "I'm gonna run a few tests to figure out what's wrong with you." Tails tapped Sonic's knee with the hammer, and a montage started while music played.**

Disregarding the upbeat tunes for a moment, Tails didn't know why his twin was handling the situation like this. "Nothing would be wrong with Sonic himself… No one produces a sound while moving-"

"You sure, lil bro? Eggy jiggles."

Tails stifled a chuckle at the human's affronted glare, continuing on like Sonic hadn't spoken. "-so the answer wouldn't be Sonic's body."

"What could it be, then?" Amy questioned.

"Well, the name of the episode's a huge clue." Knuckles grunted. "'Sole power' is gonna either refer to the bottom of Sonic's feet, or the bottom of his shoes. I'm betting on the latter."

Tails nodded at him, that being the conclusion he'd mentally reached, and Metal commented, "I wonder how long it will take the other fox to realize this."

"Hopefully by the end of this montage!" Tails answered with a smile.

**Tails waited for Sonic's leg to react. Then, the kit was standing while Sonic was running circles around him. It wasn't long before Tails was protecting his ears from the pain. Next, Sonic was pedaling on an exercise bike, and even that movement caused the unbearable sound. Sonic was then shown dancing; Tails closed his eyes.**

Knuckles smirked. "I don't blame him. He's about as bad as you, huh S-"

"Knux, if you don't want me to declare a breakdancing battle _right now_ , I'd advise you to hush."

The echidna wisely kept quiet – not because he knew he was going to lose. He didn't want to get dirty on the destroyed carpet. Yeah, that was it – ignoring the cheeky grin Sonic threw at him.

Amy slumped in disappointment; a dance-off would've been a _great_ distraction…and photo op.

**Lastly, the fox was using a stethoscope to listen to Sonic's chest. The hedgehog's leg suddenly kicked Tails away. Tails peeled himself off the floor and rubbed his head as the montage ended.**

Tails inwardly winced. He'd never been kicked by Sonic before, but those legs could dent _metal_. Both the robot and the material.

**Now Tails was standing, rubbing his chin. "I just can't figure out what's wrong with you."**

Amy blinked at those words. "Uh. Tails, I think you overestimate your twin…"

Tails wasn't too worried, and neither was Knuckles. "But we all know that he's going to be the one to figure it out eventually," the echidna pointed out. He had faith in that fox in the upside-down dimension.

**He frowned in thought. "Until we get to the bottom of this, you better not run."**

Sonic flinched as if slapped. He couldn't believe that he was hearing those words. "He _does_ know that he's talkin' to a variant of Sonic the hedgehog, right?" Tails might as well tell him to not eat chili dogs or _breathe_ while he's at it.

"…Yeah, this isn't going to end well," Knuckles sighed out.

**Sonic nodded. "Alright, no problem." He sprinted out of the workshop, making Tails cry out.**

"Or begin well."

**Sonic reappeared in the doorway, looking apologetic. "Sorry, old habit," he said before slamming the door.**

**Later on in the day, Sonic's shack was shown, and the blue hedgehog was walking toward Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks positioned around a volleyball net.**

Knuckles didn't let disappointment course through him just yet; nothing too crazy had happened and maybe, just maybe his twin wouldn't say anything terrible.

His hopes weren't set too high.

**Amy eyed him and frowned. "Sonic, you were supposed to bring the volleyball!"**

" **Oh, sorry," Sonic apologized. "I'll just zip home and get it!" He positioned himself to take off, and his friends covered their ears to brace for the pain. Sonic relaxed his stance. "And by zip, I mean walk slowly and deliberately."**

Eggman frowned at the screen as he watched. Why hadn't he thought of this? Somehow making every step Sonic took cause agony was a great plan! The doctor had no doubt that his double was behind this in some way, and Eggman hated that the below-par evil genius managed to think of this before he had.

And what made him mad as the fact that if _he_ tried out one of these schemes, the heroes would know _exactly_ what he was doing.

Blasted spoilers.

**Sonic took his time in walking away. With each heavy step, Sonic seemed to sweat and grow more bored. A map appeared on the screen, showing the long and exhausting trek Sonic had to complete to retrieve the ball.**

" **Ugh, this is what average people do?" Sonic complained, stifling a yawn. "This is nuts!"**

Sonic chuckled even though he felt bad. "I'm _so_ glad that I'm not him right now!" A game of volleyball wouldn't be worth going less than twenty miles per hour. "There's no wind whipping through your hair, or adrenaline running through your veins! I can't imagine doing that willingly!"

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's a _total_ nightmare."

"I'm glad you agree, Knux!"

**He finally reached the volleyball. Sonic bent down and picked it up before turning around. In reality, he'd only moved a couple of feet away from his waiting friends.**

"Did he have to be that dramatic?" Amy deadpanned. "Is walking that terrible?" It was better than getting all sweaty for no reason after running! And don't get her _started_ on potentially messed up quills.

**Sonic began to walk back, but then crab bots appeared on the trees behind the team.**

"It was only a matter of time…" Eggman muttered, though he was – reluctantly – curious to how this was going to go. He knew that the plan was going to fail because it always did, but the _how_ was always idiotically unique. He'd rather learn from his double's failures than his own.

Those were less personal and frustrating.

" **Guys!" Sonic dropped the ball and pointed. "Robot attack at six o'clock!"**

**Knuckles was concerned. "I can't do six o'clock. I have tickets to the opera!" He paused. "No wait, that's someone else…"**

Knuckles narrowed his eyes a bit, struggling to stay in his happy place. Maybe if he stayed positive more like Tails – he was impressed the kit managed to after all that happened – then his blood pressure wouldn't spike every time his twin spoke.

He forced himself to shrug. "It's not the worst thing he's said." Wow, that took more out of him than he thought.

Metal's gaze cut to him. "You sound constipated."

Tails was more worried. "More like hurt…"

"Only mentally."

" **Behind you!" Sonic shouted to clarify.**

**The robots dropped down and started to attack the heroes, the anthros dodging their attacks. When a crab got too close to Amy, Sonic ran over to her. Amy clenched her teeth, hands over her ears. He immediately stopped when she sent him a glare.**

**After destroying the crab bot with her hammer, Amy said pointedly, "Sonic, we got this!"**

**Sonic blinked at her before sitting in a nearby beach chair, dejected.**

Sonic saw Knuckles open his mouth, mischief in those violet eyes of his, and Sonic had to stop him then and there. "No, Knux. Keep your crazy shipping comments to yourself!"

"They're not crazy if they're true," Knuckles snorted.

"He's got a point!" Amy chirped with a smile.

"Of course _you'd_ agree with him…" Sonic mumbled to himself.

**Amy ran away to keep fighting, and now Knuckles was shown trying to throw punches at one of the enemies.**

" **Way to go, Knux!" Sonic encouraged from where he sat. "A left, then a right, then another left!"**

**Knuckles looked back at him, confused. "Wait, which one am I on?"**

Knuckles exhaled deeply, chanting, "Happy place, happy place, happy place…"

The others in the room sent him slightly concerned looks.

He ignored them, easing the stiffness in his shoulders. The echidna cleared his throat. "He was…distracted by the battle, so what the other Sonic said could've been a little confusing."

"…Are you sick?" Sonic asked, seeing how the other was struggling. He hid a grin. "Tails, see if he's sick."

Tails, actually concerned, went over and placed his hand against Knuckles' forehead. "You're not warm…" The kit locked gazes with the guardian as he pulled away. "Do you feel nauseous? Is the room spinning? How many tails to you see?"

"I'm not sick," Knuckles placated, folding his arms across his chest. "And I see two-"

Tails gasped in shock. "Two? There's only one of me!"

"What? Wait, I thought you meant-"

"Is the _thing_ doing something to you? Or was it something you ate?"

"Was it the cookies?" Sonic added to Tails' questions. Before Knuckles could tell them that he was perfectly healthy, the azure hedgie nodded. "I bet it was the cookies! Shadow!" He whipped his head in the stripe one's direction. "You ate some too! Do you feel sick?"

Shadow barely spared him a glance. "I'm sick of existing in this damn house."

"I'll take that as a yes!"

Knuckles deadpanned at Sonic, seeing the mirth in his expression. His confusion was replaced with mild annoyance. "You're enjoying this _way_ too much. Amy, get your boyfriend."

Amy breathily sighed. "Oh how I wish I could…"

Sonic was glad she couldn't.

Knuckles focused on Tails. "I'm not sick, seriously. I just figured that if I get angry every time my twin says something stupid, I'd be laying in a casket within an hour."

The fox relaxed. "That's it? Okay!" Tails cracked a smile as he returned to his seat. "But warn me next time you pull a one-eighty like that! I thought something was _really_ wrong."

Knuckles leaned back in his chair. "Oh, there is. Multiple things. But just not with me."

**Knuckles proceeded to get punched multiple times in the face by the robot, collapsing to the ground. The echidna rubbed his head. "How come he gets it and I don't?"**

"Because _it_ can follow simple commands," Eggman started before sending Metal a sharp look. "Unlike some _other_ creations."

"I have learned the ways of food and pain, doctor. I am a changed robot."

**To the side, Sticks was hiding in some bushes from the two bots searching for her.**

" **Sticks!" Sonic called her. "Your best move here is a spin attack!"**

**The badger stood up, blowing her cover. "That's your move, not mine!" Multiple crab bots spotted her, and she slumped. "Uh oh…"**

**Sonic was suddenly embarrassed and guilty.**

Tails didn't like where this was going. "Uh oh, he's backseat fighting."

"They'd be better off letting him fight!" Sonic shook his head in disappointment. "Keeping Sonic the hedgehog from fighting Eggman leads to nothing good."

"Having you fight _never_ leads to anything good."

"It's all relative, Eggy."

**In the meantime, Amy destroyed one of the mech with a swing of her hammer. Behind her, another crab bot powered up a laser. The pinkette dodged its blasts, Sonic cheering from the sidelines.**

" **Yeah! Give them a taste of your secret triple backflip move!" Sonic excitedly advised.**

**Amy attempted to use said move, but the crab bot plucked her out of the air as she flipped, slamming her to the ground. She was clearly unhappy. "It's not a secret if you tell everyone!"**

"To be fair, _she_ was the one to decide to backflip." Knuckles pointed out.

"They listen to each other too much!" Amy smiled a little too broadly. "It's like instinct for them to follow the other's advice! That's so adorable!" She sighed happily before nodding. "But yeah, backflipping was a bad call."

**Again, Sonic looked a bit guilty.**

" **This ends** _ **now!**_ **" Sticks yelled with finality.**

**There was a cut, and now Sonic was tied to a coconut tree, the volleyball net wrapped around him.**

"She's earned my respect," Shadow said, wishing that Sonic was tied up away from him more often. "The only thing that's missing is a cloth around his mouth."

"Shads, we're _friends_ , not mortal enemies."

"Says you."

" **Hey!" he complained. "I thought you were talking about** _ **them!**_ **" Attacks were heard going off, and Sonic deadpanned. "Oh sure, act like you can do this without-" Amy crushed a crab bot with her weapon. Sonic sighed. "…me."**

Sonic scoffed. "Of course they can! They're just regular old crab bots! Even Cream could take them out with no sweat!" He snickered. "I like the other me, but man, check out that guy's ego!"

Everyone – even Tails and Amy – gave the blue hero an unimpressed look.

"Random question," Knuckles began. "Who's the best fighter in this room?"

"Me, duh!" Sonic barked out a laugh. "Seriously, Knux? I'm the blue blur, aka the fastest thing alive! No one in here could beat me if they tried because I'm…" Sonic's voice quieted as he realized what he was doing.

Shadow rose a brow. "Want to continue, Faker?"

"This is called entrapment, and it's illegal."

**The team of heroes – except Sonic – were cheering in the middle of destroyed robots.**

" **Looks like someone else is sitting on the sidelines." Sonic whipped his head to the side at the new voice, finding Eggman sitting on a beach chair.**

Amy furrowed her brow. "They _really_ didn't notice him before now? He's kinda hard to miss."

" **Eggman!" Sonic tried to break free, but the other's words sunk in. "Wait. What do you mean 'someone else'?"**

" **I didn't send out these crab bots." The doctor sat all the way up, expression gloomy. "Orbot and Cubot were dusting and accidentally hit a button in the lair."**

"But…technically he did." Tails played with one of his namesakes. "He built Orbot and Cubot, so he indirectly sent the other robots."

"Not to agree with my double-" Because that was the last thing Eggman wanted to do. "-but you're basically saying that if a child robbed a bank, then their mother is at fault because she birthed them."

Tails opened and closed his mouth a few times before speaking. "She should've kept a better eye on – yeah, I get what you're saying," he eventually ceded.

**Sonic eyed him. "So…you weren't behind this?"**

**Eggman pulled his chair closer to the bound hedgehog. "Looks like you don't need to be a genius to be an evil genius anymore."**

"Intelligence is _never_ needed in that dimension to be evil, apparently," Eggman grumbled.

Metal glanced at him.

"Don't."

**He laid down with a sigh. "Makes me feel kinda unneeded." Eggman pulled out a box of popcorn and began eating.**

"Why does that even matter, though?" Amy fiddled with the hem of her dress. "I mean, if you defeat Sonic – not that you ever will – he's defeated! It doesn't matter if you do it on purpose or on accident!"

"It does matter." Shadow spoke up before Eggman got a chance to. "There's a bigger sense of accomplishment when you purposefully throw that punch, pull that trigger, or wrap your hands around their throat and watch your target's life drain away than if they just trip and fall off a cliff without any interference from you whatsoever."

Eggman nodded. "What he said."

"Uh huh…" Amy eyed the striped hedgehog, and her voice rose an octave. "I know that I sometimes argue with you without fear, Shadow, but deep down, you actually terrify me."

Shadow noncommittally grunted.

**Sonic exhaled harshly. "I guess we have something in common…"**

" **You eat popcorn when you're depressed too?" Eggman asked as he chewed.**

"He should be depression-eating salads, not popcorn…" Knuckles muttered.

Metal examined the bag on the screen and inquired, "Does popcorn taste like chips?"

"No, they taste like buttery miracles."

"That does not help, guardian."

"You asked, and I answered."

" **Uh, no…" Sonic glanced over to his friends. Sticks was taking a picture of Amy, Knuckles, and Tails standing victorious in front of the downed bots.**

"Okay, now they're just rubbin' it in," Sonic huffed.

**Sonic refocused on the human. "You know, the whole sitting on the sidelines thing?"**

**Eggman held up his snack. "Here, have some popcorn. You'll feel better."**

**Sonic wiggled in the net but couldn't get free. Instead, he opened his mouth; Eggman tossed some popcorn into it.**

Sonic liked popcorn as much as the next guy but accepting it from his arch-nemesis was pushing it a bit too far. "And they're suddenly buddies now?"

"Can't be too surprised," Knuckles said, remembering a cow and marshmallows. "Remember Cowbot?"

"Yeah, but that was more of Eggman desperately trying and failing to connect than my twin actually being _friends_ with him!" Sonic guessed that being rendered immobile was lower than being fed popcorn by a mustached doctor…to his double. "Egghead, don't ever do what he's doin'."

Eggman glared at him. "Do I _look_ like I share food, rodent?"

"You insulted yourself before I had a chance to." Metal's tone was surprisingly light. "That is slightly impressive."

Eggman had been referring to his selfish trait, not his rather… _round_ shape, but arguing was a waste of time and energy.

" **Okay," Eggman gestured to himself. "The doctor is in. Talk to me. Just because I'm your sworn enemy doesn't mean we can't be friends."**

Knuckles frowned. "He's either taking too much medication, or not enough."

**Sonic stared blankly at him until Sticks walked up. "Sonic! Eggman's not your friend. If you listen to him, you're gonna end up tied to something!"**

" **Yeah, I wouldn't want** _ **that**_ **to happen." His sarcasm was palpable.**

"I wonder if Sticks knows what she's saying sometimes…" Amy mused.

Knuckles scoffed. "She knows _exactly_ what she's saying." Though, like with his twin, Sticks hadn't been that annoying yet. It could be because she'd gained brownie points when she tied the other Sonic up.

**Tails approached him as well. "I don't think this is a good idea, Sonic."**

**Sonic glanced at the kit. "Well, you couldn't help me. I'm kinda out of options here!" He sighed and faced Eggman. "Whenever I run, there's…this weird noise."**

"He's _relying_ on Eggman now?" Sonic knew this situation could led to desperation, but when has asking Eggy for help _ever_ went well? "What has the world come to?"

"Especially considering that there's an eighty percent chance that Eggman is behind this." Knuckles needed to know what went through their twins' minds when they made decisions.

Tails cocked his head at the echidna. "What's the other twenty percent?"

"Something impossible involving past meteor showers, the luck balance of the universe, and those Gogobas."

**The doctor stroked his chin. "You know, that happens to Cubot when he gets into the motor oil. Let's go run some tests." He stood up and boarded his own hovercraft. He motioned for Sonic to follow him, but the speedster couldn't separate himself from the tree no matter how hard he tried.**

**In response to this, Eggman pressed a button on his wrist, shooting out lasers that vaporized the bottom and top half of the tree. Sonic was still tied to the middle section of it. The hero crew looked on in worry as Sonic hopped along to follow Eggman.**

"Anyone could've stopped him!" Amy waved her hands in the air. What was with the heroes letting their friends go hang out with the enemy? First with Sticks and the Lightning Bolts, and now Sonic – stuck to a tree, she might add – with Eggman? "If Sonic gets defeated stuck to that very immobilizing trunk, it's going to be all their fault."

"And plus, what is that net made out of?" Tails began, confused to why Sonic wasn't free yet. "Zip ties?"

**Within Eggman's evil lair, Sonic was running circles around the doctor who had on earmuffs. There was a device in his hand, measuring as Sonic emitted the loud noise.**

" **I see…" Eggman eventually mumbled, and Sonic skidded to a stop beside him. "A classic case of velocity-to-energy ratio incompatibly."**

Eggman was right in assuming that his twin had something to do with this, because now the other was just spouting out nonsense. Nonsense too intelligent sounding to cause suspicion.

Sonic had a hunch, but he wasn't sure. "Tails, is that a real science thing?"

Tails shook his head. "Nope. It's not a real science thing."

Knuckles sighed. "If only the other Tails was there to tell him that."

**Sonic frowned. "Well, why is it happening** _**now?** _ **"**

**The doctor took off his ear muffs. "It comes with age." He gestured to himself. "Like wisdom…or nose hair."**

"It's at _that_ point where I would've cut and run, not caring about bursting eardrums along the way," Sonic commented, tisking.

" **But not to worry." Eggman walked over to a compartment in a wall. "I have what you need right here."**

Sonic tapped his shoe on the ground. "And it's _real_ convenient that Eggy somehow has the solution to the problem."

"There is a hundred percent chance that my copy's copy will fall into a trap."

"It's kinda obvious now Mets, but thanks."

**Eggman locked the small door with a key to reveal a pair of brightly colored shoes. "These shoes have power-absorbent insoles," he explained as Sonic walked up to the shoes and grabbed one of them. "They'll prevent the sound loop that's causing the noise. And best of all: they're machine washable."**

Eggman had been interested until the last sentence.

**Sonic smelled the inside of the shoe and gave it a suspicious look. "Well, how do I know this isn't another scheme of yours?"**

"Anyone want to guess what the scheme is?" Knuckles asked the room, knowing already that the blue hedgehog was going to fall for whatever it was.

"…Permanent soggy socks?" Amy provided off the top of her head.

"That'll be terrible, but I don't think that's the case…" Tails stroked his chin. "Well, this episode is called 'Sole Power', Eggman mentioned something about power-absorbent insoles, and in the previous episode, it's been proved that Sonic could be used for energy, so…" Tails snapped his fingers, coming to a conclusion. "Sonic's going to be powering something of Eggman's while he runs. Probably a robot."

Knuckles nodded. "Sounds about right." That plan was short and quick enough to fit into an eleven minute episode.

"But, I don't know how the heroes are going to beat it though…" Tails resumed, pursing his lips.

"It's going to probably something my double hasn't accounted for," Eggman lowly chimed in. "Or messes up."

Sonic smirked at him. "You know this from experience, Baldy?"

"If I say yes, will you stop talking to me?"

"Nope!"

" **What, you think I'm planning a secret blister attack?" Eggman asked incredulously. "If you don't want my help, you can always walk out of here." He snatched the shoe back.**

Eggman rose a brow at that. The other threatened Sonic with walking? That was basically hook, line, and sinker. Anger then bubbled within the doctor. His twin had it easy in getting the rodents to fall for every one of his tricks, but it was a shame because the plans were always _wasted_. Brilliant ideas were just flushed down the drain with poor follow-through!

That dimension would've been conquered _five_ times over if Eggman had been there. He was born in the wrong place.

Life wasn't fair.

**Sonic pondered his situation for a moment, and then he was shown wearing the shoes. He shifted his weight around in them. "Okay…here goes nothing." Sonic sprinted around the lair before slowing down with a relieved smile. "Hey, there really was nothing! The noise is gone!" He jogged over to the human. "Thanks, Egghead!"**

" **Don't mention it…" Eggman smirked as Sonic ran off. "…buddy."**

"Nevermind the ominous-but-not-really comment from Eggman." Amy scrunched her nose up at the clash of colors that was Sonic's appearance. "Those shoes are an eye sore! His red shoes were perfect, but the yellow is just hard on the eyes!"

Sonic perked up at that. A change in wardrobe might be in his near future. "Enough to keep you from chasing after m – I mean, looking at him?"

"I'm in love with your personality, Sonic. Your appearance is just a bonus!"

Sonic really didn't know how to respond to that.

Knuckles huffed in amusement. "You two need to get a room to work things out."

Sonic knew _exactly_ how to respond to that.

"How about you save that room for you and Rouge instead, huh Knux?"

"What?! What does _she_ have anything to do – I don't – What are you-"

"Yep. You're completely coherent right now."

Knuckles fought to regain his composure. "Sonic, you are the worst sometimes, I hope you know that."

Sonic smiled cheekily at him. "I learned from the best, Knucklehead!"

**Back at the beach, Amy, Knuckles, Tails, and Sticks were playing the volleyball until Sonic suddenly showed up. He played volleyball by himself while everyone else moved in slow motion.**

" **Yeah!" he shouted as he landed by a surprised Amy, catching the ball. Sonic spun the ball on his finger. "Sonic's back, baby!"**

Amy groaned. "The more I look at those shoes, the worse they get!"

"There are approximately four minutes left in this episode." Metal informed. "The garish footwear should disappear soon enough."

**Amy put her hands on her hips. "Don't refer to yourself in the third person. It's creepy."**

**Knuckles nodded. "Yeah, Knuckles hates that."**

Knuckles was fighting the hate for all of this twin's thought processes.

**Tails held up a finger, smiling. "Wait, no noise! I guess Eggman figured it out."**

" **Yeah!" Sonic pointed at his new shoes. "Power-absorbent insoles!" He ran a bit around the group. "Eggman actually helped me!" A tremor then unexpectedly shook the ground, and the source of the shaking was a giant robot smacking down trees to get to the heroes. Sonic's happiness drained out of him. "Or…it was part of a trap."**

"Looks like you were spot on, Tails!" Sonic praised the yellow kit, leaning over and high-fiving him.

"It didn't really take that much thought," Tails said with a chuckle. "It was pretty simple with all of the hints!"

**Sonic rushed the huge robot, and static sparked all around the mech. The speedster spin dashed the enemy, but the bot blocked him with an arm shield. It then attempted to shoot Sonic with eye lasers; Sonic managed to dodge all of them, being pushed back to where his friends were.**

"So…no team attacks?" Knuckles questioned. "They're just going to stand there while Sonic does all the work?"

"Maybe they're…uh…" Tails gave up. "I can't think of any excuses."

**Eggman floated above in his hovercraft. "Sonic, I'd like you to meet Giant Robot. I didn't have time to name him because I was too busy planning this trap."**

"At least name it something egg related!" Eggman puffed out air. "It's slightly degrading, but it's a simple process and it shows that you care at least a _bit!_ "

"Aw, Eggy! You care about your pet robots?" Sonic mockingly cooed. "That's _adorable._ "

"Do you _want_ me to destroy every chili dog stand in existence, cactus?"

All playfulness left Sonic's face. "Adorable? Why would anyone say that about creating homicidal robots?" He glanced over to an unamused striped hedgehog. "Shadow, why'd you call Eggman adorable? That's out of character for you!"

Shadow wasn't going to waste the energy he didn't have to respond.

**Sonic gritted his teeth and charged the robot again. However, the more he ran, the more Giant Robot glowed red. The bot blocked Sonic's attack again and struck a victory pose.**

" **My turn," Eggman announced just as the robot punched Sonic square on. The hedgehog was launched back until he was caught by Knuckles. Back on his feet, Sonic was joined by Amy as he attacked once more. Though, it didn't seem like the mech was affected.**

Knuckles shook his head. "Yeah, let those two fight by themselves while the guy with the _super strength_ stands on the side-lines and watches."

"He'll join in eventually!" Amy chirped. Preferably before her twin and the other Sonic got demolished.

"By then, there wouldn't even be a point because the robot would be too powered up!" Knuckles grumbled. "And they _still_ haven't figured that out yet, by the way."

**Tails held up a device and scanned the mech. His brow furrowed. "It doesn't have a power source…how is that even possible?!"**

**Eggman laughed as Sonic ran about his robot, dodging laser. "That's right, Sonic. Run. Run!"**

Eggman resisted the urge to face-palm. Sure, he was guilty of giving away his plans, but couldn't his twin be a _little_ less obvious? That was like screaming to the world 'Keep running to power up this robot!' He needed to learn the concept of _inside voices._

**Tails pondered Eggman's behavior before focusing on Sonic. The hedgehog circled the bot, and the kit's attention was brought to the new shoes that were subtly lighting up.**

**Realization sunk in. "Sonic!" Tails raised his hands. "Stop!" Sonic listened to him, glancing back at the kit. "Your shoes are powering the robot! The faster you move, the stronger it gets!" Sonic was dumbfounded, gazing down at his shoes.**

"And Tails saves the day again!" Amy cheered.

"And he moves up on my favorite character list even though he was already first," Knuckles uttered, slowly clapping.

" **Ooo, sneaky," Eggman snickered. "I wish I had thought of that. Oh wait, I did."**

" **Oh, well that's easy to fix," Sonic told Tails before sinking to the ground and pulling at his shoes. However, they stayed glued to his feet.**

Tails hummed to himself. "Well, that's a twist…"

"He can never take off his shoes?" Amy grimaced in disgust. "His feet would be rancid within a week!"

Knuckles stared at her. "There's a violent robot that is steady growing more powerful, and you're worrying about the condition of Sonic's feet."

"Aren't you?"

**Eggman raised a finger. "Oh, did I forget to mention? They don't come off!"**

**Sonic glared up at him. "We'll see about that,** _**Eggy.** _ **" He went up to the nearest coconut tree and kicked it. A coconut plummeted down and smacked into his forehead. "Ow!" he hissed, staring at the projectile and then the camera. "…I'm not saying it will be easy…"**

"Oh no…" Knuckles sighed out, still processing what just happened. "Is he catching the stupid?"

"No!" Sonic argued, not wanting the other Knuckles to rub off on his twin too much. "It's just the stress getting to him! His speed is on the line, so he'd do anything to get it back." Sonic smiled, mentally patting himself on the back. "Yeah!"

Knuckles held onto Sonic's optimism with an iron grasp, having two tolerable characters was more enjoyable than having only one.

**Amy, Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks were all busy fighting the huge robot.**

"They decide to attack _after_ the robot absorbed all of that power?" Shadow needed to know that his double wasn't anything like the ones on the screen. For the sake of his sanity. "Good call."

**Their attacks did nothing, and all they could do was dodge. Sticks had thrown her boomerang but was harmlessly deflected.**

**She caught her weapon and asked, "If Sonic's not running, why does the robot still have power?"**

" **Because the shoes store the energy he generates!" Eggman enthusiastically answered. "You see-"**

" **Are we** _ **really**_ **gonna do the thing where you explain how you did it?" Amy questioned, annoyed.**

Sonic scoffed. "She's wastin' her breath. He's gonna do it anyway."

Eggman muttered inaudibly to himself about taking pride in one's work.

**Eggman went on like she hadn't spoken. "The hardest part was getting that sound to play whenever Sonic ran." He dug in the space of the hovercraft and pulled out a holoprojector. "I have actually prepared a brief presentation that explains the whole brilliant scheme."**

Metal tilted his head at the screen. "The doctor had time to do that but did not have time to properly name his creation. That makes perfect sense."

"It's been proven that his priorities are skewed," Knuckles grunted, unfazed.

**The device hovered away and began to project a hologram, but Amy smashed it before it could finish its job.**

The whole room clapped.

**Eggman angrily floated down to her, clenching a fist. "Do you know how long it took me to create that presentation? Here, I've prepared a brief presentation that explains it step-by-step."**

"Just stop talking!" Eggman groused, pulling his mustache.

**Sonic kept spin attacking the robot, and the bot blocked him without fail.**

" **If you could only see yourself right now," Eggman boasted, smirking. "I took your greatest strength and made it into a weakness!"**

**Determined, Sonic went in for another attack only to be deflected. Upon landing on the sand, the speedster glanced down sadly at his feet while Eggman laughed. However, the sadness didn't last long. Sonic grinned to himself and started to run around Giant Robot, going faster and faster.**

Tails gasped, leaning forward in his chair. "That's it! He's going to overload the robot!"

Knuckles was somewhat impressed. "Alright, he's redeeming himself now."

Sonic snorted. "I mean, it's not that it's _hard_ to find holes in Eggy's plans and exploit 'em." He chuckled at the audible exhale coming from Eggman. "But yeah, because he did that, I'm willin' to forget him getting hit in the head by a coconut."

" **Sonic, this is crazy!" Sticks yelled in alarm.**

" **No it isn't," Knuckles opposed. "It's stupid!"**

Knuckles' mood plummeted. Having his double and Sticks speak separately was one thing, but _together…_ "Happy place. Stay in your happy place."

**Sticks turned on him. "Crazy!"**

" **Stupid!"**

" **Crazy!"**

" **Stupid!"**

Knuckles made a strangled noise in the back of his throat; Tails patted him encouragingly on his back.

**As the echidna and badger argued, Sonic amped up his speed, causing the robot to glow more intensely. Also, its limbs began to twitch prominently.**

" **Crazy!"**

" **Stupid!"**

" **No…" Tails shook his head and smiled. "It's brilliant!"**

" _Please_ tell me they're done…"

Tails nodded at the suffering echidna. "Looks like it! My double had another realization, so there's no point in arguing-" If that was even a valid argument. "-anymore!"

**Sonic's speed steadily increased, and the robot seemingly couldn't handle all of the power pumped into it.**

**Eggman was fiddling with the device on his wrist. "Hey, wait. That's too much! Seriously! Slow down! It's overloading!"**

Sonic chortled. "Telling a Sonic to slow down? Ha! What a funny joke!" He wiped away an imaginary tear. "What is he gonna say next? Ask the wind to not blow? Ask the sun to not shine?"

Amy pursed her lips in thought. "But…you _do_ slow down, Sonic."

"Yeah, but not when _asked._ "

**Sonic did the complete opposite. He accelerated exponentially, causing Giant Robot's head to explode. The pieces rained down while the body went limp, falling to the ground.**

**Sonic stopped in front of the downed mech, his smirk wide. "Ah, now that we're done warming up, Sonic's gonna go for a run." He sprinted between the heroes and Eggman before disappearing into the trees.**

"… **Do you guys think it's creepy when he refers to himself in the third person?" Eggman asked the anthros.**

" **Yeah," they all chorused.**

Tails didn't quite agree. "It's not creepy. It's more…abnormal."

Sonic rose a brow. "Abnormal? Sonic thinks it's pretty hilarious."

The kit grinned at him. "Really? Well, Tails believes-"

"And no more of that. Please and thank you." Eggman cut them off before it got out of hand.

For once, Knuckles and Shadow appreciated Eggman's existence.

"Aw man, but Amy wants to join in-"

"Stop," Metal demanded, and Amy puffed out her cheeks in irritation.

Sonic rolled his eyes. "We were tryin' to pump some fun into this fifty-two-episode long trip-" Shadow inwardly groaned at that reminder. "-but since you guys want to be buzzkills, then…" His words trailed off when static once again filled the air.

Everyone focused on the white noise on the screen until another flaming and pulsating number popped up.

"Sixteen?" Tails' eyes widened at the implication of that. "So the number went down after the episode! This means that we possibly have only sixteen more episodes to watch!"

Knuckles didn't want to raise his hopes too quickly. "But didn't Metal say that there were at least fifty-two?"

Metal nodded. "I would not lie about that."

"Maybe the _thing's_ makin' this whole situation better for us!" Sonic chirped in excitement. Maybe they would all make it out of here without going completely crazy after all. "It's showing mercy!"

If Eggman was any less of an evil tyrant, he would've cried happy tears.

"Yes!" Amy did a little dance in her chair. "Our time here is basically cut in half! Maybe even shorter! I can't believe that this is hap-" She was then interrupted by chuckles, her mouth closing in shock. It wasn't _what_ she was cut off by that surprised her, but _who_ was producing the sound.

Shadow was laughing, and it was growing louder by the second.

Everybody was stunned as they watched Shadow lean back in his chair, covering his face with his hands with his mouth wide with laughter.

Tails didn't know how to feel about this. "I…I'm uncomfortable…"

"Yeah, it's just so _unnatural_ to hear…" Amy whispered as if talking louder would cause something catastrophic.

"There are red flags going up in my mind," Knuckled cautiously muttered. "Has he finally lost it?"

Sonic eyed his rival. "He's just so happy and carefree and-" He grimaced before calling out, "You okay over there, Shads?" They needed to get him under control before the world imploded.

Shadow took his time in calming down. This news was the greatest thing he'd heard in _months._ Breathy chuckles were still escaping him when he answered, "I'm perfectly fine, Faker."

Everyone shared a look that said _no,_ Shadow wasn't perfectly fine.

"He is delirious," Metal observed, and Eggman agreed. A hysterically laughing Shadow caused more mental alarms to go off than a scowling one.

Tails subtly nodded. "Yeah, the lack of sleep will do that, and the sudden surge of dopamine didn't help things either…"

Sonic frowned at the kit. "What's-"

"A happiness hormone."

"Oh." Yeah, that would explain Shadow's current state of mind.

"Should we just…continue?" Amy asked.

Knuckles couldn't think of a reason not to. "Maybe he'll return to normal as time goes on."

They all nodded to each other.

Shadow was too busy drowning in relief to even care about what they were saying.

He'd reunite with his bed soon enough.


	19. Chapter 19

"'Hedgehog Day?' Ooo!" Amy cooed as she read the name of the episode after the flaming number disappeared. "Is it going to be a celebration for hedgehogs or something? That sounds fun!"

"I don't know…" Knuckles cut his eyes over to Shadow, who was relaxing in his chair with an unnerving smile on his face. "If that means _all_ hedgehogs will show up, we might see the other Shadow. If he's anything like the loopy one we currently have, I'll be scarred."

Tails shuddered. "One happy Shadow is one thing, but _two?_ " That had to be some hint to an incoming apocalypse.

Sonic eyed his red-striped rival, an idea forming in his head. "Hey, I'm gonna try something out," he said quietly to the ones around him before raising his voice. "Yo Shads, what would you do if I punched you in the face right now?"

"Make you regret ever being born."

Sonic nodded, a little relieved. "Alright, he's not too far gone. That's good."

Tails nodded as well. They weren't hating on Shadow's happiness or anything, but having it happen in such a surprising burst was off-putting. The kit then returned his focus to the television. "Back to the episode, if there's a chance that the other Shadow could show up, then there's a chance that Metal could too."

"It would be a shame if I did not," Metal said. He'd been wanting to see the… _condition_ of his other self for a while now. Though, now the chances of seeing the other soon had risen because of the most recent development. _If_ he had a double, because unfortunately, that hadn't been proven yet.

Eggman wanted to get his hopes up because the presence of Metal Sonic _could_ lead to victory, but how things were going, his double was probably just going to make toast with him.

"There's only one way to find out!" Amy chirped before playing the show.

**The scene started with the early morning sun rising over Eggman's lair. Inside, there was a clock on a nightstand that read 5:59. The time then changed to 6:00, and an alarm blared. Eggman's arms reached over and stopped the noise.**

**Eggman yawned and stretched before sitting up in bed.**

"Ahhh!" Amy screeched, pointing violently at the screen. "The onesie's back! Can someone _burn_ it already?! Where's Blaze when you need her!"

Tails was a little confused. "For an episode about a hedgehog party, starting off with Eggman is a bit disconcerting…"

" _Especially_ in that pink eyesore," Knuckles grumbled, hoping that the scene would hurry up and change.

**The doors to his room slid open, and Orbot appeared with a breakfast tray. "Wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey!" he greeted merrily.**

Sonic's gaze locked onto the steaming food. "Oh _man_ , could I go for some breakfast food."

Metal glanced at him. "But it is not morning."

"You can have breakfast food anytime, Mets!"

"That seems illogical."

"You've never had bacon before, so of course you'd think that."

" **Don't ever say that again," Eggman warned as the robot placed the tray in his lap.**

" **Today's the day we're finally going to defeat Sonic with your new weapon, so I thought I'd make you a special breakfast!" Orbot cheerfully explained himself.**

"I _highly_ doubt it." Eggman scoffed even though he was curious about this 'hedgehog stopping new weapon'. If there was some kind of hedgehog party, there'd be more targets, _but_ those targets would be – infuriatingly – powerful.

Seriously, as if one speedy cactus wasn't enough in Eggman's life, there had to be another who had a temper and a strong swinging arm to match, one who had even a _bigger_ temper who could catch you and dismember you all in under a second, and let's not forget the psychic who could possibly made your day a thousand times worse with a single _thought._

Damn hedgehogs.

"' **You** _ **thought?**_ **'" Eggman repeated, dubious. "You don't think; you're artificial intelligence, and even that's only half right."**

Metal nodded, fully in agreeance. "He is not wrong."

**The human glanced down at his tray, eyeing the eggs, the bacon, the waffle, the orange, a cup of coffee, and an empty glass. Eggman growled at the bot. "No fresh-squeezed orange juice?"**

Eggman wanted to get mad, but he couldn't because he would've questioned the juice's absence as well.

**Orbot took the orange and bit into it. He positioned his finger above the empty cup as juice poured out of it. Eggman's expression twisted into one of disgust. "Suddenly, I'm not so thirsty."**

Amy cringed. "That's _so_ gross! Who knows how much dust and stuff is in that thing?" She was glad Eggman didn't drink it, because that would've been worse than Meh Burger, and that was saying _a lot._

Tails tilted his head at the screen. "You know, the other Eggman hasn't been that bad so far."

"It's barely been a minute, Tails," Knuckles told him. "Give it time."

**He then called to the other helper robot in the room. "Is my Egg Tank ready?"**

**Cubot held up a tank-top with an egg on it.**

**Eggman scowled. "My** _ **other**_ **Egg Tank."**

Sonic chuckled. "I doubt he could even fit one of his _thighs_ in that! What, did he buy it seventy years ago when he was a kid?"

Tails tapped his chin. "Or maybe it's actually just a leg warmer, and he called it a tank to throw people off?"

Knuckles scoffed. "What people? He can't make any friends. That's why he relies on robots all the time."

"It is truly a depressing lifestyle," Metal added.

Eggman had the _very_ strong suspicion that they weren't just talking about his twin here.

Amy turned to the human, mirth leaking into her tone. "Yeah, they aren't just talking about-"

"I _know._ "

**There was a cut to show Eggman's actual egg tank, it white and armored.**

"I would call it impressive…" Knuckles started, eyeing the defensive machine. "But we all know that it's going to explode at least once before this episode is over."

The rest of the room shared his sentiments, even Eggman, who was making mental blueprints so he could possibly steal the idea.

Little did he know, Tails had the same thoughts. "That actually looks pretty cool! I wonder if I could use the same armor for my plane, if it's actually sturdy…"

"No, you can't!" Eggman barked out, hating that he was competing with an eight-year-old for ingenious plans. Why couldn't his enemies be _powerless_ bankers or something? "My double thought of it, so _I'm_ going to use it in the future, not you."

Tails blinked at him before grinning. "Not if I call dibs!"

Eggman gaped before saying, "D-"

"Dibs!" the kit shouted, content.

Eggman clenched his fists. He didn't have to abide by this childish set of rules. "I can do whatever I _want_. And plus, there's no way you can _touch it_ , so you can't call dibs!"

Sonic rolled his eyes. " _Wow_ , Eggy! Depending on some weird rule that dimension made up? That's low."

"Not as low as taking the idea anyway!" Amy shook her head in disappointment. "Not only would you lose the tank eventually, Eggman, but it would be a disgraceful loss. Anything you do with that tank will be tainted because you didn't respect dibs!"

"What is even happening?" Eggman muttered to himself.

Amy heard anyway. "I'm trying to save your manhood, Eggman. Your honor!"

"My honor isn't going to be _threatened_ by-"

"Have you ever dishonored dibs?" Amy asked, and she didn't give Eggman a chance to answer. "Of course you haven't! You don't know how much it will burn you up inside, gives you nightmares, make you regret _every_ bolt you put in that tank-"

The doctor couldn't take it anymore. "Alright, alright!" he growled out. "I won't disgrace _dibs_ if you just shut up!"

Amy nodded at him, smug, and she giggled when Tails threw her an amused smile.

Sonic chuckled. "That was pretty good, Ames. Y'know, if this whole hero thing doesn't work out for ya, you should consider becomin' a lawyer or something!"

While the pinkette thought about that, Knuckles smirked over at the blue hedgehog. "I don't know about that, Sonic. Amy and the law could be a dangerous mix. I wouldn't be surprised if she came up with some kind of _reverse_ restraining order just for you."

"Reverse restrain-" Sonic's stomach sank as he hastily faced Amy. "On second thought, just stick to bein' a hero! Plan B's are for chumps!"

"But it's a smart plan b, though!" Amy lightly opposed.

"No no, it _isn't-"_

"And thanks for the idea, Knuckles!"

"No problem, Amy."

Sonic wondered how long it would take to change his identity.

**The doctor was inside of the vehicle, pushing some buttons. Eventually, the screen in front of him lit up, showing Amy setting up a projector. Then, Knuckles and Sticks were shown unrolling a projector screen. Sonic popped up afterwards along with Tails. The both were exiting a store, the hedgehog carrying a film reel can with Comedy Chimp's face on it.**

"A movie night?" Tails cocked his head at the screen. "Doesn't really scream hedgehog party to me…"

Sonic took a break from his mental planning to say, "And unless Shads is gonna make his grand appearance to watch some cheap comedy, I don't think he's showin' up."

"Whoa, enough with the party stuff." Knuckles cut in, something bothering him. "Does that Eggman record _everything_ the heroes do?"

"With no friends, he really doesn't have anything better to do…" Amy uttered, though she had to agree that it was kinda creepy. Who _knew_ what they could be doing when the doctor just… _checks_ in!

Multiple sets of eyes landed on Eggman, and his mustache bristled. "No, I _don't_ spy on all of you like lab rats! I have better things to do with my time, and I _don't_ need to know what you rodents do every second of every day!" He'd go insane like he was in the process of doing right now in this torture house.

Shadow hummed to himself. "That's good, doctor. Because if I had ever found out you were spying on me, a type of hell you've never experienced before would be brought upon you."

A relaxed smile remained on the striped one's muzzle, and that made the imagery all the worse.

**The kit was eating some candy until one got caught in his throat, causing him to choke. Concerned, Sonic started to hit him on the back as the kid coughed.**

" **Movie day, huh?" Eggman observed in his vehicle with a smirk. "Spoiler alert: I win, you** _ **lose.**_ **"**

Sonic scoffed. "It's not really a spoiler if it doesn't happen! It's like me saying: spoiler alert! I'll turn into a potato on my birthday."

**Eggman pressed a switch off to the side that activated his weapons while he snapped on his seatbelt.**

" **Weapons online."**

**He started up the tank and requested, "Play my battle music!" A calm tropical theme played, and Eggman was disappointed. "Eh, close enough."**

"I wouldn't even be mad!" Amy said with a chuckle. "I mean, relaxing music would be the best to play during a premeditated evil attack!"

Knuckles grinned. "It is, because it keeps Eggman calm so he doesn't have a heart attack after losing for the nth time."

**He grabbed hold of the controls, and the tank instantly drove forward.**

**The scene then changed to Comedy Chimp falling through the sky. He pulled a ripcord with his hand, a parachute deployed above him.**

" **I guess that** _ **wasn't**_ **the men's room door!" The chimp laughed at his own joke, and the heroes watching the movie did so along with him.**

Knuckles rose a dubious brow. "Is it _that_ funny? Is there some kind of irony to this guy that we're missing out on?"

"Maybe?" Sonic shrugged. "But he isn't _that_ bad. He could be a lot worse. Like if the movie was free, easily accessible, short, and had complimentary snacks, I might watch it."

**Though, Knuckles – with a slushie in his hand – finished laughing first, frowning up. "I don't get it."**

Knuckles was more than happy to agree with his double on this one.

**Sonic had his hands linked behind his head, relaxing. He said to Tails in a low voice, "Nice job on the projector."**

Even though he really shouldn't have been, Tails was surprised to hear that his twin had built the projector. He snickered to himself, thinking that if the heroes wanted the best quality movie, picking the other Tails was a great choice.

" **Thanks!" Tails brightened. "I had to re-orient the screws-"**

**Amy whirled on them. "Shh! No talking!"**

Amy narrowed her eyes. "She should know better than to interrupt Tails while he's gushing about his projects!" She then sent the kit a teasing look. "Because he'll pick up right where he left off later."

Tails puffed out his cheeks. "Only on my big projects! But on the smaller ones, I don't bore you with the details!" He glanced at Sonic and Knuckles. "Right, guys?"

Sonic whistled a light tune while Knuckles pretended to pick nonexistent dust off his arm.

"I believe this is called betrayal," Metal commented.

"Yeah, I noticed," Tails quietly huffed.

"Don't be so down, Tails!" Sonic shot the fox a wide grin. "I don't mind listenin' to how you built your inventions! But, I don't really need to know which bolt goes into which wire-"

"…Bolts don't go into wires."

"See! Goes in one ear and right out the other!"

Knuckles stared at the speedster. "You don't pull any punches, huh?"

"He's used to it!" Sonic reached over and patted the sulking kit on the shoulder. "I'm not saying stop tellin' me about your awesome stuff, bud! Just explain 'em like your talking to Cream, 'kay?"

"Cream knows that bolts don't go into wires."

"Well, Cheese then!"

Tails chuckled, brightening up. "I'll keep that in mind."

**Knuckles enjoyed his drink loudly, and she put a finger on her lips. "Shh! No slurping!" Eggman's tank rolled up behind them as thunder rumbled in the sky. The pinkette angrily hopped out of her seat. "Shh! No** _**attacking!** _ **"**

"They seriously couldn't hear that until now?"

"You heard how loudly your twin was drinkin', Knux!"

**Amy, Sticks, Tails, and Knuckles all got into battle ready positions as Sonic sped forward, destroying two crab bots. Some more crabs approached Sticks, who was swinging at them. Amy grunted as she hammered one of the bots, Knuckles beside her punching the pests away.**

**Tails was messing with the projector, not seeing a crab walk up behind him. Sonic saw this and warned, "Tails, incoming!"**

**The kit spun on his heel, holding the projector upright. He pressed a button on the device, and a pulsating blue ray hit the crab bot straight on. It crashed to the ground, metallic limbs twitching.**

Tails' eyes glistened with excitement. "Not only did he build a projector, he had turned it into a weapon as well? Even though this is probably the only situation where it would come in handy, it's still pretty cool!"

"You two would make a great team!" Amy threw out there, picturing the two foxes tinkering together. "Come to think of it, we all would make good partners with our doubles!" She glanced at Eggman, Shadow, and Metal. "Well, maybe not the Eggmans and who _knows_ what the other Shadow and Metal are like, but still!"

Sonic could agree with that, kind of. "If you're only talkin' about my, your, and Tails' double, sure!" He casted a jeering glance over in the echidna's direction. "Knuckles' though…"

Knuckles exhaled heavily. He was imagining it, and he had to reminded himself about his happy place. "If he makes as little noise as possible, it might work out."

Eggman shuddered at the thought of he and his twin working together. Sure, the other him had some… _interesting_ ideas, but Eggman had already tried working together with a past version of himself, and look how _that_ turned out.

Metal had very low expectations as this point. "If my double is not a toaster, I will be content."

Sonic rose a brow at him. "What if he's a glorified vacuum cleaner?"

"As I said."

Shadow was halfway listening to their conversation, splitting his attention between the TV in front of him and the inviting bed he was going to reacquaint with in less than seventeen episodes. He pleasantly sighed as he pictured himself laying on his soft pillows and being warmed up by comfy blankets.

Knuckles frowned at the relaxed striped hedgie. "Yeah, that's still weird…"

**At the Egg tank, a periscope raised up and Eggman looked through it to focus on Sonic. "Activate super weapon," the man said before pressing a button on the control panel.**

**The tank fired a giant fireball at Sonic. The hedgehog noticed the incoming attack and ran away only for the ball to track him down. Sonic eventually slid to a stop though, and the fire headed right for him until Amy jumped in the way, redirecting the attack with her hammer.**

Amy nearly jumped out of her seat, fist pumping. "Woo hoo! Go other me! You show Eggman who's boss!"

Tails furrowed his brow. "Shouldn't it have disintegrated…?"

"Don't _ever_ question the glory of the all-mighty hammer, Tails!"

"Duly noted."

" **Fortunately, I'm prepared for this," Eggman muttered to himself. "Activate super-duper weapon!" He pressed another button, and a blue plasma ball was fired this time.**

Eggman inwardly groaned. There were many things wrong with this. One, super-duper weapon, _really?_ Two, how was this the second attack any different from the first one? And three, if he _knew_ the first attack was going to backfire – quite literally – then _why_ go through with it?

On second thought, he'd like to meet his twin so he'd have a _long_ conversation with him.

**The show slowed down as the plasma and the fire flew towards each other. Thunder boomed in the sky, and a lightning bolt struck between the two attacks just when they hit. There was a bright flash of white.**

Sonic blinked. "Well, that can't be good."

"Was it an explosion?" Tails questioned, worried for the well-being of their twins.

Amy was as well. "We'll find out soon enough…"

**The same clock from earlier was shown again, the time switching from 5:59 to 6:00 and ringing. In his bed, Eggman turned off the noise before yawning and sitting up.**

**Orbot entered the room with a tray of food. "Wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey!"**

"What?!" Amy leaned forward in her chair, mind spinning. "It's starting from the beginning again!"

Sonic frowned in thought. "Either that, or Orbot does the same thing every day, but I doubt that's the case." He then smirked. "So Eggy's gonna be going through the same day over and over again? That'll be a sight to see!"

Tails almost felt bad for him, but another thought took priority. "There's a good chance that there isn't going to be a hedgehog party…so what's with the title?"

"Who knows?" Knuckles shrugged. "It could be something the _thing_ came up with to throw us all for a loop."

Tails nodded at that, not able to think of another reason. "I guess being tricked isn't as bad as the other Eggman's situation."

"At least _he_ can go outside," Eggman grumbled, hating his current predicament. Reliving the same day over and over didn't even seem that bad. His twin could just fine tune his strategy until…

Eggman's eyes slightly widened. Would his twin actually _win_ this time? Something _surely_ had to go wrong, right? Hm…

" **I** _ **told**_ **you not to say that!" Eggman growled as the robot placed the tray in the human's lap.**

**Orbot's mood wasn't brought down. "Today's the day we're finally going to defeat Sonic with your new weapon, so I thought I'd make you a special breakfast!"**

" **This seems awfully familiar…" The doctor's brows creased. "What's going on here?" He moved the tray of food onto the bed as Orbot bit into the orange, the juice flowing out of his finger and onto Eggman's leg. Orbot blinked in surprise as Eggman glared.**

"Yes! Yes!" Amy chanted. "Stain the evil thing so he has no other choice but to burn it!"

Knuckles didn't get his hopes up. "I have a sneaking suspicion that the onesie's going to stay until we're set free." Though, at least their time here had been cut short. Maybe now he wouldn't have nightmares about it.

Amy slumped in her seat. " _Please_ don't say that…"

**The doctor was in his tank now, putting on his seatbelt as "Weapons online," echoed within the small space.**

**Next, the tank was shown crashing the heroes' movie night once more. Eggman used the periscope to target Sonic again. A fireball was sent the speedster's way, and Amy deflected it. The blue ball of plasma followed suit, and lightning intercepted the two attacks as they collided. There was another bright white light.**

"It's gonna keep startin' over until he beats them?" Sonic questioned, not as excited anymore. "That's no fair!"

Eggman scoffed. "It's not like he did it on _purpose_ , cactus. It just turned out that luck was in his favor today." The doctor let a smirk settle on his face. "It gives me an idea…"

Sonic pointed at him. "No! No time loops for you! That's cheating, Egghead!"

"As long as I'm not disrespecting _dibs,_ it's perfectly fine."

The blue hedgehog grumbled to himself.

Knuckles wasn't worried. "Eggman would probably go crazy before he finds a way to defeat all of us. Think about it. Repeating the same day for weeks, months, or _years_ would be insane. Almost as insane as being stuck in this house."

Tails pursed his lips in thought. "About the time loop…we see Eggman just waking up, but what about the others? Do they just reset…or something? Without any recollection of what happened?"

"I guess…" Amy didn't like the sound of that. "So does that mean that someone could be reliving _today_ over and over without us knowing?"

Sonic opened and closed his mouth before saying, "My brain hurts thinkin' about it, so let's not."

No one opposed.

**A clock blared once six o'clock hit. Orbot appeared from behind sliding doors, breakfast in his hands. "Wakey-wakey, eggs-"**

**Eggman towered over the helper bot when he approached, scowling. "If you say 'eggs and bakey', I** _**swear** _ **I'll dismantle you!"**

Amy frowned up at that. "It's not _his_ fault that you're stuck in a time loop!"

**Orbot simply stared up at him in fear.**

Metal appreciated this greatly. Now he could only hope that the other doctor kept his promises.

" **This is nuts…" Eggman mumbled to himself. "I'm reliving the same day over and over!" He then glanced to the side to see Cubot holding up the egg shirt.**

" **No?" Cubot asked, holding it up more. "Nothing?"**

Sonic couldn't help but to chuckle. "That thing is so ridiculous, I swear. He's better off giving the shirt to one of the bots."

"And see it flaunted every episode from now on?" Knuckles snorted. "Yeah, no."

**Eggman was now sitting at his desk in another room, messing around on the touch-screen control panel. A schematic of the Egg tank was shown as translucent math equations sporadically filled the room. Eggman busied himself with looking over the tank, looking at polygraphs, and pouring mysterious substances in beakers.**

Sonic's attention shifted over to the fox. "Uh…what exactly is he doing?"

Tails didn't have an answer. "No clue. Eggman?"

"Don't expect me to read the nonsense going on in his mind."

" **Cubot," Eggman called while swirling a liquid, shooing said mech. "Stop playing with my hologram thingy."**

**Cubot seemed guilty as he cut the machine off, the numerous math equations disappearing.**

Eggman was going to ask why, but he decided to save his breath.

**Eggman then pumped a fist when a thought came to him. "I've got it! When my laser, the plasma ball, and the lightning collided, the fusion reaction caused time to fold back in on itself!"**

"He needed to do all of that to figure it out?" Amy gestured at the screen. "He couldn't guess that after seeing the collision? _Twice?_ "

"He probably needs to check the prescription on his glasses…" Tails uttered.

" **So!" Eggman faced his observing helper bots. "I just have to avoid going into battle! Piece of cake!" He laughed evilly until a bright white flashed.**

**The alarm clock blared, and Eggman woke up disappointed. "Well, that didn't work."**

Eggman blinked in surprise. So his other self had no other _choice_ but to win? Interesting…

Sonic just wished that one of heroes somehow figured out what was going on so they could prevent the impossible. If Sonic saw any Eggman win anything, he was probably going to break out in hives.

**Orbot entered the room once again with a breakfast tray held in his hand. Before he could say anything, Eggman hopped off his bed and yelled, "I don't want eggs and bakey!" He slapped the tray away when Orbot got closer to him. Orbot silently stared down at the mess.**

"Now that's just a waste of good food!" Any support Eggman was giving his twin had marginally diminished. It was such a sad sight.

" **Same day over and over again…" Eggman pondered aloud before smirking. "Maybe this isn't all bad! I can keep refining my attack on Sonic until I can get everything just right!"**

Sonic crossed his arms and _didn't_ pout, muttering 'cheater' multiple times.

**Eggman then suddenly had a mop, thrusting it in Orbot's direction. When the mech hesitated, confused, the doctor explained, "Just because there's no tomorrow, doesn't mean I want ants today!"**

"He could've just _not_ spilled food everywhere."

"That's too reasonable for him, Ames."

**Eggman aimed at Sonic through his periscope to attack, and unsurprisingly, Amy deflected the fireball that was launched. The doctor gritted his teeth and punched his control board as a white light lit up the screen.**

**During another attempt, something actually changed. A crab bot managed to grab hold of Amy's hammer, the pinkette struggling to tear it out of its grip. Tails aimed the camera and produced waves that deactivated the mech instantly. Amy smiled in appreciation, and Eggman growled.**

Sonic smirked, feeling a little better about this. "At this rate, the problem will would probably fix itself before Eggy can do anything!"

**The alarm clock rung, and Eggman woke up with a devious smile on his face.**

And the smirk was gone.

**Eggman was in the village, loading all of the film reels the store had into his hovercraft. With it full, the doctor hopped into his vehicle and flew off just as Sonic and Tails approached the emptied store. The duo stared in shock as one lone reel fell to the floor.**

Amy just realized how heartless the other Eggman was. First knocking freshly made breakfast to the floor, and now depriving people of a relaxing movie night? She knew the doctor was desperate after taking loss after loss, but that was taking it too far.

**The crab bots were attacking the heroes, and Tails was fumbling with the projector. Nearby, Amy cried out in shock when her hammer was being yanked by one of the mechs. Tails aimed the projector at the incoming dangers and pressed a button. However, nothing happened, and he stared at the device in confusion.**

Knuckles slowly blinked. "The projector was powered by Comedy Chimp's _specific_ reel?" Why was that even a thing?

Tails was bewildered as well because yeah, that was a blaring problem, but he said, "Every invention needs some kinks to be worked out!"

**The kit pressed the button a few more times, the outcome not changing, before picking up the film reel at his feet. It showed a happy clown on it.**

"Just adding insult to injury…" Tails mumbled.

**He shook his head at Amy. The pinkette then lost her battle with the crab bot, it taking her hammer and swinging it. Sonic ran up and blinked in surprise, and Eggman was looking through his periscope at the azure hedgehog. Sonic had his back to him this time, distracted.**

**Eggman's smile was wide. "I've got you know, Sonic!" He fired the fireball, and Sonic noticed the incoming attack too late. It smashed into the speedster, trapping him in a blue forcefield that lifted him into the air. Sonic struggled to escape, but it was all for naught.**

Sonic audibly groaned, shaking his head. "It's just so unnatural! How could they let him win?!"

"Time was on his side, rodent," Eggman a little smugly. It was satisfying seeing Sonic wriggle around in the ball, completely trapped.

"Wait a minute." Knuckles glanced over to Metal. "How much longer do we have until this ends?" Because – even though he wished it did – it didn't feel like eleven minutes had passed yet.

"Approximately five minutes."

"We're just beyond the halfway point." Knuckles stared at the TV before smirking. "Something tells me that Sonic's isn't going to be trapped for long."

"Hopefully not!" Sonic exclaimed. "Heroes always win in the end!"

"Yeah!" Tails and Amy cheered at the same time.

**The doctor did a little celebratory dance in his tank. "Yeeesss! This day will go down in history! The day I captured Sonic the hedgehog!"**

**The screen flashed white.**

Metal cocked his head at the screen as high-fives went on around him. "Winning did not fix the time loop. Is he permanently trapped?"

Knuckles grinned. "Somebody pick up the phone because I _called it._ "

"It's bittersweet though," Tails commented after a moment. "I mean, Eggman won't win, but the heroes are kinda trapped too, and they still don't know about it."

"Ignorance is bliss?" Sonic guessed. "They don't seem too bothered!" And plus, he was sure the problem would somehow get worked out in the end. It always did.

**The clocked rang, and Orbot entered with a bright, "Wakey-wakey!"**

**Eggman was laying in his bed, sullen. He glanced over at the red robot before silently flipping over and ignoring him.**

"Aw…" Amy huffed. "He's going to make me start to feel bad for him!"

Tails absently played with one of his namesakes. "Well, he _is_ going to repeat the same day again and again forever. It's a little messed up…"

"Tails, you're not helping!"

"I'll start feeling bad when his mental state deteriorates some more," Knuckles said. A defeated Eggman was the best Eggman. "Right now, I'm enjoying the show."

Eggman was too, but _man_ if he wasn't just a bit disappointed.

**Orbot was upset. "But I have bakey…"**

" **I can't take another day of the same day!" Eggman groused to himself, laying comfortable on his pillow.**

**Later, Eggman was writing something on a white board. Orbot and Cubot were behind him, the former reading a book aloud. "String theory, super string theory, string cheese theory…"**

Sonic rose a brow. "String cheese theory? What's that? If someone takes a bite out of the cheese without pulling it apart first, then they need serious help? I can get behind that."

**Eggman continued writing on the board while eating a donut.**

**Cubot focused on him. "You really should eat healthier!" he admonished.**

" **It doesn't matter," Eggman said after finishing the treat. He then grabbed a pair of scissors and cut off half his mustache. The robots stared in shock as the human sighed. "** _ **None**_ **of this matters. Tomorrow will just be a do-over, anyway."**

Amy's eyes grew wide. "He just…He just cut off his mustache like it was nothing! I thought he treasured that caterpillar on his face!"

Eggman ignored her last statement. "That right there is a truly broken man."

Well, the mental deterioration happened quicker than Knuckles thought.

While he felt the _tiniest_ bit sorry, Sonic stifled a snicker. "What are the chances that this is the day he gets out of the time loop? Eggy with half a 'stache is _definitely_ picture worthy."

"I hope it isn't!" Amy argued. "Half-mustached Eggman is just _wrong._ Like, happy loopy Shadow wrong!"

Shadow could see where she was coming from.

Metal nodded at the pinkette. "It is very unsightly. Almost worse than having the doctor shirtless."

Amy shuddered. " _Nothing_ will be worse than that." They all really owed Rouge.

" **Really?" Cubot drew the question out, reaching behind himself and pulling out a cup of water. He tossed the liquid in an unamused Eggman's face and zipped away with a, "See you tomorrow!"**

Sonic gave him a round of applause. "Say what you want, Metal, but those guys were really growin' on me."

Metal produced a scoff. "A broken clock is right twice a day, copy."

**Eggman returned to the white board, wiping away some of the equations he wrote with his detached mustache. "It's no use! I can't figure this out alone!"**

**The next shot showed Sonic and Tails leaving the film store.**

Tails saw where this was going, and Eggman was right, the other doctor was seriously broken. "Wow…"

Knuckles barked out a laugh. "Even _Eggman_ goes to Tails to fix problems."

**Sonic had Comedy Chimp's reel in his hands, and the kit was chowing down on some candy.**

**Eggman – who was still missing half of his mustache – walked up to them. "I need your help."**

"He's crazy if he thinks that's going to work!" Amy grinned. "But yeah, he must be _really_ desperate to go to them!" As if they needed any more proof that the other Eggman had jumped off the deep-end after chopping his 'stache off.

**Sonic gave him a level look, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder. "Cartoons are over by the counter."**

"Either my twin needs to get his sense of humor checked, or he's just seriously good at laughing on the inside-" Laughter was bubbling out of Sonic's throat. "-but I would've busted a lung seeing Egghead walk up to me like _that."_

**Eggman forcefully chuckled. "Yes, yes, very amusing, but that's not why I'm here!"**

**Sonic clearly wasn't in the mood. "What do you want, Egghead?"**

This couldn't be going any better. Knuckles was greatly entertained. "They aren't in _any_ mood to deal with the doctor."

Amy nodded. "Well, yeah! He's cutting into their movie time!"

**The doctor rubbed the back of his head, trying to appear friendly. "Um, funny story, you're really gonna get a kick out of this. I was attacking you with my Egg tank, when a freak accident caused an endless time loop!"**

**Tails threw him a disbelieving stare. "There's no such thing as a time loop," he said before chewing on some candy.**

Tails furrowed his brow, not knowing what he would do in that situation. Yeah, he'd never seen or heard anything about time loops, but if someone came to him saying that they were stuck in one, he would probably look more into it.

But then again, it was Eggman, and he _was_ cutting into movie time.

**Eggman crossed his arms. "That's what I thought too! Oh, by the way, you're about to choke on that piece of candy."**

**Not a second latter, Tails coughed as the snack got lodged in his throat. Sonic patted him on his back, and the kit still didn't look convinced. "Lucky guess."**

"Okay, that _might've_ tipped me off that something was wrong…" Tails admitted.

Sonic wasn't going to fault the duo on-screen. "I mean, if I've never dealt with time stuff before, I wouldn't be quick to believe Eggman either."

**The doctor focused on the hedgehog. "Sonic is about to get a message from Amy saying the projector is all set up." The speedster's communicator then beeped. Sonic glanced down at it and pressed the screen, reading what was there.**

**Finished, Sonic not-so-apologetically told Eggman, "Love to help you out, Egghead, but we got a movie to watch."**

Eggman stared unbelievably at the TV hedgehog. "He's just going to ignore all of the signs that were given to him?"

Knuckles shrugged. "They have their priorities straight."

**Tails smiled at his bro. "I hear there's a cool twist ending!"**

**Eggman huffed. "Turns out Comedy Chimp's partner is a ghost."**

**The duo angrily glared at him.**

Amy shook her head. "That's just dirty!"

**The next scene was the trio sitting at a table at Meh Burger.**

The pinkette flinched. "Correction. _That's_ just dirty."

**Eggman was glancing between Sonic and Tails as he talked. "There was a one-in-a-million chance that when the laser, the plasma ball, and the lightning collided, it would create a time anomaly like this!" Tails jotted down notes as the human went on. "It resets, charges for a while, then explodes, and the day starts over!"**

**Tails perked up, holding a finger in the air. "I know how to fix it!"**

"I guess they had nothing better to do than to listen to Eggman's problem since the movie's been spoiled for them," Knuckles grunted. "Though it's hilarious that Eggman has said _two sentences_ , and Tails already knows what's going on."

Sonic chuckled. "Never doubt the ingenious mind of an eight-year-old fox!"

**The screen flashed white.**

" **There's no such thing as a time loop." Tails threw a piece of candy in his mouth.**

"Ooo…so close," Tails commented. "So, he's on a timer too."

Eggman was beginning to think that inducing a time loop was a bad idea.

**Eggman – with a normal mustache-**

Sonic sighed in disappointment.

**-growled in frustration for a second until an idea came to him. "You know what? We need to start this earlier! What say I pop by your house first thing today?"**

**Sonic and Tails gave him odds looks until the fox choked.**

**The human and the kit were standing in Tails' house.**

" **There's no such thing as a time loop," Tails said while gazing up at the doctor, skepticism in his tone.**

Amy giggled. "Every time he says it, it gets funnier!"

"Watch he turns into a Soar." Knuckles frowned at the memory of that eagle. He was going to have violent flashbacks every time someone mentioned soaring.

" **So I've heard," Eggman grumbled under his breath before saying louder, "How 'bout we come to my lair and do some math? Maybe watch a movie?" He revealed Comedy Chimp's film reel.**

**That brought a smile to Tails' face. "I hear there's a cool twist ending."**

" **I wouldn't know."**

"These guys really trust Eggman a lot," Sonic observed. "If Eggy tried to persuade me to follow him to his lair, I would figure he was tryin' to blow me up or somethin'."

Amy kicked her legs back and forth in her chair. "To be fair, their Eggman comparatively is _way_ nicer than our Eggman. I guess it's enough to have _some_ trust in him!"

"And no, Egghead." Sonic threw the human a smirk. "Suddenly being nice to us isn't gonna drop our guards."

Eggman glared at him. "I'm _not_ thinking of doing something that degrading!" Anymore.

**Now in the evil base, Tails was staring in shock. "I can't believe it!"**

" **What?" Eggman asked immediately in front of the white board, dropping the donut he had. "What is it?"**

**Tails held up the film reel. "Comedy Chimp's partner was a ghost!"**

Knuckles couldn't hold in his laugh. "He's the best. Anyone want to disagree?"

No one volunteered.

**Eggman shrugged, unamused. "Yeah, who could've seen that coming?" He then knocked on the board behind him. "Can we focus, please?"**

**Tails approached the written equations, studying them. "What we need is a shell made of super-dense matter to contain the recurring explosion."**

"The doctor just needed to think of a ball." Metal was grateful that he hadn't served _that_ human. He glanced over at Eggman. "Doctor, though I despise you, I appreciate you not being that dense."

Eggman held onto that compliment, because who knew how long it would be until he got another one.

**Eggman nodded. "I'll have to invent it!"**

**Doubt was radiating off Tails in waves.**

" **Don't worry," the doctor reassured. "I have lots of time."**

"Like what Tails said before-" Sonic leaned back in his chair, linking his hands behind his head. "-the other Eggy's not that bad in this one. Maybe it's because his mental health is at stake?"

"If that's the case, I need that looming over his head constantly," Eggman huffed.

**Later, Eggman was wearing a mask as he welded his shell. He lifted his protective gear and stood up, patting the finished product. Sonic and Tails were looking on with interest. "Okay, let's get it to the beach!"**

**Sonic walked over and attempted to life it. The ball didn't move an inch.**

Shadow snorted in amusement. "Faker lifting that thing? Not in a million years."

Knuckles wholeheartedly agreed. "Seriously. He's got leg strength, but it might as well be Tails trying to pick it up."

"Hey!" Sonic and Tails chorused. "We're right here!"

"We know," Knuckles and Shadow answered.

"Testosterone powered teasing aside," Amy pursed her lips. "Why can't they just _roll_ the ball to the beach?"

"Because Eggmen like making things more complicated than they need to be," Metal provided.

He ignored Eggman's glare.

**Eggman watched him. "Did I mention it's super dense?"**

**Sonic scoffed with a smirk. "So is Knuckles." He backed up a step. "Maybe he can lift it?"**

"Woooooow, that's a burn!" Sonic snickered, plotting revenge on Knuckles and Shadow in the future. "And you said that _I_ don't pull any punches, Knux!"

"You don't." Knuckles was surprised that his twin's…state had been directly addressed. It always had been just the rest of the group reacting to whatever he said or did. "But your twin doesn't pull any of his low blows either."

" **He's gotta close it around the anomaly just before it explodes," Tails informed.**

" **Okay." Eggman leaned on his invention. "So how do I get you to believe me about the time loop right away tomorrow?"**

"By listening to Tails saying that he doesn't believe in time loops," Knuckles predicted.

**The screen flashed white.**

**Sonic and Tails were standing outside of the film store again.**

Knuckles patted himself on the back.

" **There's no such thing as a time-"**

" **Last night, you dreamed you were being chased by a giant sock puppet," Eggman cut Tails off. Tails gaped in shock at the human while Sonic threw a questioning glance at the kit's way.**

"T-"

"No, I don't have dreams like that, Sonic!"

"…Tails."

"Okay, it was like once when I was six!"

"Tails."

"And last night."

**The screen flashed white.**

**Eggman was in his lair, finishing welding his metallic shell together. He flipped up his mask when he was done, Knuckles looking over it. Then, the echidna approached the invention and lifted it up with both hands.**

Knuckles took a deep breath and prepared for anything that might happen. He'd gone this far into the episode being relaxed; he could make it to the end.

**He began to walk towards the exit, but his paused in his stride, groaning. "Oh, my neck itches!"**

**Eggman strolled up to him, exasperated. "Seriously?" The echidna nodded, and the doctor didn't even argue.**

**He began scratching the spot Knuckles wanted. "Little higher," the red anthro said, and Eggman lifted his hand. "Little higher." He lifted it again, and Knuckles' eyes widened. "Uh, too high!" Eggman lowered his hand, and Knuckles relaxed. "Yeah, right there!"**

Knuckles and Eggman shared an uneasy look.

"Never."

"Never."

**Eggman frowned as he checked the time on his wrist, and the screen flashed white.**

**Knuckles grunted as he tried to lift the newly finished shell. It was barely in his arms a second until a crack was heard, Knuckles flinching. "Ugh, my back!"**

Most of the occupants of the room winced at the sound.

**The sphere was dropped right on Eggman's foot. "Ow!"**

" **Oops!" Knuckles moved the shell off the other's foot, watching as the doctor hopped on one leg. He guiltily shrugged. "Sorry…"**

The ghost of a smile settled on Knuckles' muzzle. He had a feeling that his twin wasn't apologetic at all. "He's trying hard to get on my good side in this one."

**The screen flashed white.**

**Knuckles grunted as he lifted the shell in his arms, but he suddenly tossed it to the side when his communicator started to beep. "I'd better take this!" He pressed a couple buttons on it as Eggman stared at the gaping hole in his floor. Knuckles held the communicator up, the doctor now glaring at him. "Hello?"**

"Yeah, he's definitely not on board with the whole 'helping Eggman' thing." Sonic snickered. He didn't know why, but it was hilarious. "And he's destroying Eggy's stuff in the process! Excellent work!"

"I wonder why he's doing it though." Amy mused out loud. "Does he know something the other heroes don't?"

Knuckles scoffed. "Doubt it. It's probably something random, or he just doesn't feel like helping."

**The screen flashed white.**

**Eggman was now standing on the beach with the rest of the heroes. "Itsy-bitsy problem." He gestured to the echidna. "Knuckles doesn't seem to** _**want** _ **to fix the time loop."**

Sonic smirked. "In other news, the sky is blue."

**Amy turned toward Knuckles, hands on her hips. "Knuckles, is there something you want to tell us?"**

**He crossed his arms and looked away. "No."**

**Amy narrowed her eyes. "Knuckles…?"**

**The echidna stared her down before giving in. "Okay, okay. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow! He's gonna pull my tooth!"**

Knuckles was completely flabbergasted, but eventually he said, "You know what? I'm not even mad."

Tails nodded, understanding the other echidna's plight. "Getting your teeth pulled can be scary! And I guess it's scary enough for Knuckles to keep time from flowing properly. An extreme move, but it worked for a bit."

**The pinkette glanced at Eggman. "Let me try reasoning with him." She walked up to her red friend. "Knuckles, the dentist wants to help you. Good hygiene requires-"**

**A war cry from Sticks interrupted Amy. With rope in her hands, the badger pounced on Knuckles. She then pulled the rope taut, and something popped, an "Ow!" coming from the echidna. Sticks stood back up smiling with a tooth in her hand.**

Everyone who had teeth covered their gaping mouths.

Metal stared at the screen. "I am assuming that the pulling of teeth without any preparation is painful."

Amy slowly nodded while Eggman lowly commented, "That girl is _crazy._ "

**Knuckles was a bit dazed laying on the ground. "Hey-hey!" He laughed. "Problem solved!" He then blinked a couple times. "What am I supposed to do again?"**

**The screen flashed white.**

**The alarm clock blared once it showed 6:00. Eggman pressed the button to silence it before yawning and sitting up in his bed.**

**Orbot floated into the room with a steaming tray. "Wakey-wakey, eggs and…" He put the food in Eggman's lap. "…sausages!"**

Tails managed to find his voice again, trying the push the agony of impromptu teeth pulling to the back of his mind. "They did it! I guess they got Knuckles to carry the shell for Eggman to use."

When no one replied to him, the kit looked around to see the others still covering their mouths. Sonic's voice was a near whimper. "She used a _rope…_ "

"I have done – will do – many things," Shadow started, his smile gone at his point. "But I won't ever do _that_."

"I'm just glad it wasn't me," Knuckles muttered, cradling his jaw.

Amy simply shook her head, trying to get the visual and the sounds out of her mind.

**Eggman glanced down at his breakfast, seeing that were indeed sausages on it instead of bacon.**

**The doctor's eyes widened, happiness filling him. "Yes, yes!"**

**Orbot had wilted somewhat. "We're out of bacon. Don't be mad!"**

**Eggman placed the tray on his bed before suddenly scooping up the red bot in a hug, laughing in relief.**

If Metal was still organic, he would've shuddered. "If you had tried that, doctor, I would have no other choice but to kill you."

Sonic had recovered enough to say, "But I thought you learned not to hurt-"

"It would be painless."

**Cubot approached them two. "Want to hear about the broken vase?"**

**Eggman sharply looked down at him. "** _**Don't** _ **push it."**

**The screen flashed white.**

"It's _still_ not over yet?!" Amy questioned in a panic, not wanting to relive that tooth scene again.

**Cubot lowered the camera in his hand. "I wanted to capture this** _**beautiful** _ **moment for posterity!"**

Amy breathed out in relief, lolling her head back against her chair. "I was so scared for a sec!"

"You weren't the only one!" Tails attempted to calm down his rapidly beating heart.

Sonic stretched his arms over his head. "The last minute or so aside, that was a pretty good episode!"

Knuckles grunted in agreeance. "No one was overly stupid, and my twin redeemed himself a little bit."

Eggman could say the same for his double. He _had_ captured Sonic eventually – even though it had been rewound – and he had definitely been worse in previous episodes.

"If only my double had showed up to make it more interesting." Metal tapped his fingers on the floor. "It has been long enough."

"He'll show up sooner or later!" Sonic reassured before looking over at Shadow. "Same goes to you, Shads!"

Shadow hummed in response. He'd rather it be sooner than later – on the off chance that he could go home even _earlier_ after the appearance – but he could wait out fifteen more episodes. That was more bearable than enduring the whole _fifty-two_ and possibly-

There was a blinding white flash.

Shadow cursed under his breath as it faded, him blinking the blurry spots in his vision away. A yawn then overtook his system as he thought about what the _hell_ was that, ears twitching when a voice rose up.

"'Hedgehog Day?' Ooo! Is it going to be a celebration for hedgehogs or something? That's sounds fun!"

"I don't know… If that means _all_ hedgehogs will show up, we might see the other Shadow. If he's anything like the loopy one we currently have, I'll be scarred."

Shadow was completely frozen at this point, mid-yawn.

"One happy Shadow is one thing, but _two?_ "

"Hey, I'm gonna try something out." He heard Sonic whisper before raising his voice. "Yo Shads, what would you do if I punched you in the face right now?"

Shadow slowly faced him, muscles tense and rigid. He was met with curious eyes, but the striped hedgehog didn't answer the blue speedster first. His mortified scarlets snapped over to the TV, and 'Hedgehog Day' was clear on the screen.

Shadow felt like screaming.


	20. Chapter 20

"Yo Shads, what would you do if I punched you in the face right now?"

Shadow would welcome it with open arms, because he was sure taking a punch caused less shock to the system than _going through a damn time loop._

No, wait. He couldn't jump to the worst possible conclusion yet. There were other possibilities here that wouldn't leave him mentally unstable. One, he could've dreamt a whole episode he made up and the dialogue he heard was just…coincidental. Two…Shadow was actually banking on the first possibility to be true because he couldn't come up with _shit_ else.

The striped hedgehog calmed his nerves because he _wasn't_ in a time loop, _not_ going to relive the same eleven minutes for the rest of eternity.

But…he had to hundred percent disprove that theory, and the only way to do that was the say, "Make you regret ever being born." If the others didn't react to that line the same way as before – and they _shouldn't_ because Shadow wasn't in a time loop, and he was sure as hell not a psychic – then that proved that his sleeping mind simply tortured him.

Sonic nodded, relieved. "Alright, he's not too far gone. That's good."

Shadow's eyes widened.

Nodding, Tails returned his attention to the TV. "Back to the episode, if there's a chance that the other Shadow could show up, then there's a chance that Metal could too."

Shadow's breath hitched.

"It would be a shame if I did not," Metal uttered.

"There's only one way to find out!" Amy chirped.

Shadow needed to murder something. No, not something, _the thing._ He desired to wrap his hands around its stupid throat and _twist_ because this was the work of _it._

The striped hedgehog jumped out of his chair, all happiness dead and gone by this point.

He felt curious eyes on him. "Sha-"

"Shut up," Shadow snapped at Sonic before scowling up at the ceiling, his glare molten. "What in the _hell_ did I do?!" He snarled, hands clenching at his sides. "Is it because I got happy that you cut the episodes?" He angrily gestured to the speechless onlookers. " _Everyone_ was relieved, dammit! Why _me?_ Faker is _right there!_ "

"Uh…" Sonic blinked. "Should I be insulted, or…?"

Shadow ignored him, gritting his teeth and lowering his heated gaze to the television. "What do I need to do? _Tell_ me!"

Nothing on the screen changed, endlessly showing the words 'Hedgehog Day'.

"He has gone insane," Metal commented from behind him.

"You know…this is honestly less unsettling than him being all loopy-happy," Amy mused.

"The heck is wrong with you?" Knowing that question was aimed at him, Shadow glared over his shoulder at a frowning echidna. "Why are you yelling at it?"

"Yeah…" Tails looked a bit nervous, glancing up at the ceiling as well. "It decreased the amount of shows we have to watch! Don't get it mad!"

Shadow whirled around. "I don't care about its damn _feelings!_ It trapped me in a _time loop!_ "

Eggman eyed him. "You know, Metal, I might have to agree with you on this one." Shadow was _this_ close to throwing his chair at the man.

Tails tilted his head at him, a pensive expression on his face. "A time loop? Like, you're stuck in time?"

"Yes!" Shadow nearly hissed, hating that he was wasting time. He could've been minutes into the next episode right now, but no, his reunion with his bed was being _prolonged._ Was sleep really too much to ask? He wildly gestured at the TV. "I've already watched this episode before!"

"Seriously?" Sonic asked before chuckling, and Shadow's ears folded in aggravation. "You must've really ticked off the _thing_ , Shads! I wonder if it's gonna make you re-watch the episode until you've watched fifty-two times?"

Shadow saw his life flash in front of his eyes.

Amy didn't seem convinced. "A time loop…so you know what's going to happen, right? What am I going to say next?"

"It doesn't _work_ like that!" Shadow actually hissed this time. His attention snapped to the screen. "Play the damn show! The first scene is the doctor waking up at-" Shadow hesitated. If he knew that he would be proving his problem of being trapped in a time loop, he would've paid attention to the stupid details more. "-6:30."

Amy pursed her lips before starting the episode, all eyes on the TV.

Shadow inwardly cursed when the other Eggman quieted the alarm at six, _not_ six-thirty.

The pinkette was awed anyway, and so were the rest of the group. "I mean, you were close enough!" She looked at Shadow in a new light, now sympathetic, as she should be. "How many times have you watched this?"

"Only once." _So far_ , the dark part of Shadow's mind supplied, and he disregarded it keep from losing it. "And I want to _keep_ it that way."

"But how though?" Tails asked, seemingly on board now. "Do you have any idea how to break out of it?"

Shadow's thoughts were a whirlwind until they focused on one thing. He narrowed his eyes at the screen. "This episode is about the other doctor being in the same situation as I am."

He heard Eggman groan under his breath. "Of _course_ it'd be all about my twin."

Shadow withheld the information this one had been decent because he _refused_ to say _anything_ positive about the demon who was putting him through this hell.

Sonic tapped his foot on the floor. "Well, I'm assumin' that he breaks out of it eventually, right?" Shadow nodded. "Just do what he did!"

_Just do what he –_ the Ultimate Lifeform locked gazes with the slightly entertained echidna.

Shadow recalled saying that he'd never pull a tooth.

Well.

Circumstances have changed.

Knuckles' amused expression fell when Shadow turned towards him, scarlets focused. "What?" The guardian was suddenly wary. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Shadow didn't answer him. He simply pounced like a predator on prey.

The striped hedgehog tackled the guardian backwards, Knuckles releasing a surprised yell, mixing in with the surprised gasps emitting from the other occupants of the room.

"Shadow! What in the – _hey!_ " Knuckles swatted away Shadow's reaching hands, to the striped hedgie's disdain. Shadow only growled as he straddled the other; he was going to get that tooth if it was the last thing he did.

Knuckles glared as he successfully held the black hero at bay, being unfortunately a tad bit stronger than him. Shadow snarled and fought to break out of his hold. "Let _go_! You need to lose a tooth so I can-"

Knuckles looked like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Lose a – are you _crazy?!_ " The echidna scowled as he worked harder to push Shadow away. "Get _off_ me, you demented tooth fairy!"

"It'll reset!" At least, that was what Shadow assumed. "It would be like it never happened so just _stay still!"_

"You expect me to believe that?!" Knuckles grunted as Shadow doubled his efforts. "And I like how you're glossing over the fact that it's going to _hurt!_ Pain still exists!"

The striped hedgehog clenched his jaw. "I don't care! Let me – _gah!_ " He was suddenly launched off of the echidna, rolling away on the ground. Shadow glowered as he held his throbbing side, zeroing in on Amy. Her hammer was out at the ready. "

"As if we'd just stand by and let you pull one of his teeth!" Amy declared, slightly grossed out. "And plus, you don't even have any money to trade with him!"

Sonic – who was out of his chair, probably was going to step in but Amy beat him to it – tisked. "If you were a real tooth fairy, Shads, you'd be fired in a heartbeat!"

"Right." Knuckles gave Shadow a ticked look as he sat up. "Because him not having the money is the main issue here."

Tails was frowning, glancing between the echidna and striped hedgehog. "Shadow…if you uh, attacked Knuckles, did that mean that other Eggman broke the loop by pulling the other Knuckles' teeth out?"

"The badger did, actually," Shadow corrected, wondering how successful he'd be going in for a sneak attack.

"Now that I'd believe," Eggman commented. "She's crazy enough."

"But _you're_ not though!" Knuckles rose his voice at Shadow. "At least, on a good day," he added as a jeering afterthought, and the hedgehog clicked his tongue in annoyance. "If I was stuck in a time loop, my first thought wouldn't be to _assault_ someone!"

Shadow narrowed his eyes dubiously, knowing that the echidna couldn't play innocent. He had a violent streak as well.

Knuckles caught the look and mended, "I mean, probably."

Shadow got to his feet, hating how strong of a swinging arm Rose had. "I just need to-"

A bright flash of white blinded him.

* * *

Shadow was once again sitting in his chair, his side unharmed.

"'Hedgehog Day'? Ooo!" Alert scarlets snapped over to Amy, who was once _again_ gushing over the title of the episode.

Shadow then instantly focused on Knuckles; he was distracted by Rose's words, and now was the best time as any. Because this was obviously a second chance. It had to be.

Amy barely finished saying how a hedgehog celebration sounded fun – little did she know – when Shadow made his move. He hopped out of his seat and rushed the unsuspecting echidna, fist clenched and ready to punch. It shouldn't matter how the tooth got out, right? And now he wouldn't be called a tooth fairy.

Knuckles' eyes had met his for a millisecond before Shadow launched his punch. There was no way the echidna could dodge or block an attack this fast, this close. Shadow was going to get that damn tooth, break this damn loop, and watch the rest of the episodes in _pea-_

* * *

"'Hedgehog Day'? O-"

" _Shut up!_ " Shadow bellowed gutturally, throwing Amy the meanest glare he could muster. "Just shut up! I _swear_ if you say _anything_ about parties again, I'm gonna-"

Amy blinked in shock, and Sonic looked at him with a hint of a frown on his muzzle. "Whoa there, Shads! That was a little uncalled for, don't ya think?"

"His mood swings are giving me whiplash," Knuckles muttered, eyeing him warily.

Shadow growled out in frustration because he was so _close!_ Why did it start him over? Was getting a tooth wrong? Then what in the _hell_ was he supposed to-

Rage pumping in his veins, Shadow swiftly got up and threw his chair against the TV. The chair snapped in half, but of _course_ the screen remained in pristine condition.

"You know…" Amy quietly whispered. "If he wasn't a guy, I'd think it was his time of the month."

Shadow rounded on her, livid. "I _heard_ that!"

She subtly flinched, but before she could reply, Tails rose a brow at her. "Time of the month? What do you mean by that?"

Sonic waved his hands back and forth. "You'll learn about that later, Tails! Let's just focus on moody Shads now, yeah?"

"He asked the question; therefore, he deserves to know." Metal opposed. "Kit, what she meant was-"

* * *

"Yo Shads, what would you do if I punched you in the face right now?"

Shadow's right eye twitched as he gave Sonic a long, calculated look. He was going to respond as usual, but then he figured that if the _thing_ really wanted to torture him – because that _had_ to be its goal – then it would embarrass him, make him do things he wouldn't ever do in any other circumstances.

For example, allowing his rival punch him square in the face for free.

…Screw it. If it meant _unpausing time_ , then he was all for it, especially since none of the others would remember.

"Do it," he said with finality.

Sonic – and everyone else – seemed taken aback. "What?" the speedster asked.

"You heard what I said." Shadow stood up and went to stand in front of the seated azure hero. The striped hedgehog was tense as he ground out. "Punch me in the face. Now."

Sonic slowly blinked up at him. "Uh, Shads? You know I was jokin', right?"

"I'm not."

Sonic furrowed his brow, looking concerned. "Look, I think your sleep-deprived mind is doin' more than making you tired." He innocently held up his hands. "I'm not gonna actually-"

"I'm-" Shadow struggled to say the next words, them burning as they exited his throat. "I'm not going to punch you back if you do. It's a free hit."

Sonic seemed like he wanted to say something, but he couldn't find the right words. Off to the side, Knuckles put a hand on his forehead in disbelief. "Am _I_ dreaming?"

"Or me?" Tails breathed out. "Because this is on par with being chased by that sock puppet…"

Eggman didn't look as shocked anymore. He was watching aptly. "Do it, cactus. It'll be a nice commercial break from-"

"I'm not punchin' him for no reason!" Sonic argued with a crease in his brow. "Shadow, are you sick or somethin'? You aren't-"

Sonic didn't get to finish his sentence, for Shadow had kicked him in his chest hard enough to make him lean too far back in his chair, sending the hero to the ground with flailing limbs.

"I'm _not_ sick!" Shadow yelled, anger spiking, as Sonic gaped like a fish out of water. "I-"

"I'll gladly take your request!" was all Shadow heard before he had a face-full of hammer. Once again, he severely disliked – particularly at his moment when his nose bent at an odd angle – that Rose had respectable upper body strength.

Shadow landed on the floor hard, swallowing a groan as he held his bleeding nose.

"That's what you get for kicking Sonic!"

"Ames, you didn't have to-"

"Yeah I did! Now you owe me!"

"Oh no."

* * *

Shadow didn't know what to do. He was back in the chair, _for the fifth time._ Not having a broken nose was nothing but a small positive buried under a mountain of negative.

The _thing_ obviously wanted something specific from him, because every time he did something 'wrong', time would reset. Attacking Knuckles – both times, throwing his chair, and being hit by an aggressive twelve-year-old were all wrong.

What in the hell was _right_ , then?

Shadow had no answer to that, and all he could do was think about _why_ he was in this situation in the first place. The first reason was already mentioned, him being trapped because he was praising the fact that their time had been cut. That couldn't be it though, because _all_ of them felt the same way.

The second reason was to entertain the _thing_ , but he already did that…physically, at least. Shadow inwardly sighed, taking a deep breath. He was about to sink his reputation, blow his pride, and ruin his image, but what other choice did he have?

"Yo Shads-"

"Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?" Shadow interjected, voice strained as he shifted his focus to the rest. Sonic's words died in his throat as they all looked at the striped hedgehog. Shadow didn't wait for any kind of response before answering himself. "He just needed a little space."

There was silence, and Shadow felt his soul draining.

"Why don't scientists trust atoms?" Shadow went on, feeling the surprise radiate off the others in waves. "Because they make up everything." Those jokes he'd heard from Maria, and the reaction to them were the same as now. Silence.

Shadow had one more in his arsenal. "Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?" This time, his sigh was audible. "They always take things literally." He got that one from Rouge.

No one said anything for a few seconds until Tails hesitantly snickered, "The last two were kinda funny…"

"Oh no, all of them were hilarious." Sonic was looking at Shadow like he'd grown at least two more heads. "But I think Shads has gone off the deep end, everybody."

"Interesting." Eggman stroked his mustache. "I honestly thought I would be the first."

Shadow noticed that he hadn't started over yet, and he had no idea what that meant. "I haven't gone insane," he wondered how long he would be able to say that, "I'm stuck in a time loop the damn _thing_ trapped me into."

Tails perked up at that. "A time loop? Like-"

"Yes." Shadow remembered what the kit had said before. "I'm stuck in time. I've repeated the beginning of this episode _multiple_ times." Amy opened her mouth, but he didn't let her talk. "Just play the episode. It starts with the doctor waking up at six in the morning, turning off his alarm clock."

The screen showed just that.

Any doubt Amy had was gone, and Shadow went to explain. "This episode is about the other doctor repeating the same day over and over again." Shadow had gained a little respect for Eggman's twin. He had kept his image in check while being in the time loop; however, to be fair, his reputation wasn't as dignified in the first place.

Tails tilted his head at him, thinking. "Huh…well, how did he-"

"Sticks pulled out the other echidna's tooth," Shadow said blandly, and Knuckles flinched at that. The Ultimate Lifeform glanced over at him. "I've tried to do that already. Twice."

"The hell?!" Knuckles shouted out, cautious with his guard up. "Why in the-"

" _Six times,_ echidna," Shadow borderline growled, and the other quieted. His muscles were still tensed though. That was understandable.

Sonic was a mix of amused and confused. "Guess that didn't work out for ya, yeah?" He tapped his foot against the floor. "Which makes sense, because our twins aren't dealin' with what we are!"

Tails nodded. "I don't know exactly what pulling teeth accomplished, but I'm sure that has a more scientific explanation than with what's happening now with you." His namesakes swished behind him as he mused, "The _thing_ is definitely behind it, and uh, its antics usually revolve around making us…"

"Suffer as much as possible?" Amy suggested.

"Yeah, that," the kit agreed. "So, I guess what would make you…suffer the most could possibly break the loop."

"I've already tried telling jokes." Shadow reminded, causing Sonic to snort. "What else could I _do?_ "

Eggman crossed his arms with a scoff. "That's not the worst thing. If I was it, I'd just make you watch the whole episode over again without interruptions. That way, any deviations would cause you to start over. It's simple yet malicious. However…" He glanced around at the ruined living room. "Nothing about the _thing_ is simple."

* * *

But _everything_ about it was malicious.

"Yo Shads, what would you do if I punched you in the face right now?"

"Make you regret ever being born."

Shadow was going to go with Eggman's idea because it made perfect sense. After being introduced to the time loop, the _thing_ expected him to panic and differ from the original script. Hopefully the spell would be broken when Shadow successfully recreated the first watch of the episode.

He could do this.

Shadow kept quiet as the episode was played, paying more attention to the conversations going on around him than the show.

Some time passed until Eggman bristled his mustache, yelling familiar words, "No, I _don't_ spy on all of you like lab rats! I have better things to do with my time, and I _don't_ need to know what you rodents do every second of every day!"

Shadow hummed to himself, recalling what he said in response. "That's good, doctor. Because if I notice you spying on me, I would-"

* * *

Did he get it wrong?

This was going to take a while, wasn't it?

Shadow hummed to himself when the time came again. "That's good, doctor. Because if I had ever found out you were spying on me, a type of hell unknown to-"

* * *

Shit.

Shadow loudly groaned, interjecting in a conversation he didn't care about.

"Shads, are you ok-"

"No."

* * *

"That's good, doctor. Because if I had ever found out you were spying on me, a type of hell you've never experienced before would be brought upon you."

Shadow waited for the bright light, but it never came. He hid his victorious smirk, needing to keep the relaxed smile on his muzzle. He got that down, and now he had to think about his next words.

…He had no idea what he said next or when he said it.

* * *

Just perfect.

"Yo Shads-"

"Faker, if you don't shut up _right now_ , I will go over there and slap you into the next _month_. I'm trying to think about what I said during this stupid episode so I can escape this torturous _hell_. I need the concentration that you're scattering, so shut. The hell. _Up._ "

Shadow was getting a little frustrated.

* * *

"Faker lifting that thing? As if-"

* * *

Shadow yelled in exasperation while desperately pulling on his quills, startling those around him.

Maybe more than a little frustrated.

* * *

"Faker lifting that thing? Not in a million years."

No light, and Shadow was gaining hope.

"Hey!" Sonic and Tails chorused. "We're right here!"

"We know," Knuckles answered, Shadow opening his mouth too late.

* * *

Shadow threw his chair again.

* * *

Sonic groaned as the bright light faded, not expecting that onslaught at all. He blinked away the whiteness and saw the other occupants of the room do it too. The azure speedster rubbed at his eyes, questioning, "Anyone know what that was about?"

"Other than interesting my need for a seeing-eye dog? No clue." Knuckles groused as he rubbed his eyes.

"I bet it was for no reason at all!" Amy pouted, wanting even more to watch all of the episodes so they could go back to their normal lives. Well, normal compared to _this_.

Eggman was about to say something along the lines of he wouldn't be surprised at _all_ if that was indeed the case, but broken chuckles demanded all of his attention.

Alarmed gazes fell on Shadow, who was bent forward in his seat, his face in his hands. His shoulders were shaking with every chuckle, making the others feel a tad unsettled.

"…Tails?" Amy started, not sure if she should run for her life or not. "Is this because of uh…hormones again?"

Tails had no clue what was going on. "I don't think so! He was fine before the light, so-"

"It is obvious that the light did something to him," Metal deduced. "With the way he is reacting, I am glad that I was not the target."

Sonic agreed as well, but he didn't _dare_ say it out loud because Shadow was unpredictable on a _good_ day. All of Sonic's mental alarms were going off right now. Psychotic laughter was _way_ worse than relaxed smiles. "How about…we just take a little break, yeah?" he asked the others, keeping an eye on Shadow. "Like thirty minutes? Some sleep should stop _that_ , right?"

Tails and Amy nodded – they could sacrifice some time to return the destructive bioweapon back to a healthy mental state – while Knuckles grumbled, "I want to be out of here as _soon_ as possible, but if it keeps him from acting like a crazed lunatic, then-"

"No." The chuckles had stopped at this point. Shadow was leaning back in his hair room, raking his fingers through his quills and lightly panting. "No," the black hedgehog repeated, still high from hearing the _wonderful_ news. "We're not stopping."

"You are denying rest?" Metal didn't understand. "You are literally going insane without it, if you had not noticed."

Oh, Shadow noticed. "I don't care." He took a deep breath because he was _out._ He did it. He broke out, and if he ever heard the phrase 'hedgehog day' again, he would not be responsible for any resulting damages. "Because I have watched the last episode _so…many…times._ " An exhausted growl leaked into his tone. "We aren't stopping for _anything._ "

"Wait…so many times?" Tails questioned before gasping, the pieces fitting together. "Don't tell me…you were put in a time loop?"

Shadow subtly nodded, and Metal was _really_ glad that he hadn't been targeted.

Amy was flabbergasted. From how mentally out of it Shadow looked, she had a guess that he'd started over a bunch of times. She was curious of the exact number though. "How many-"

"I lost count past fifteen."

"How in the hell did you break out of it?" Knuckles couldn't imagine going through that.

Sonic couldn't either. "And tell me what you did to tick the _thing_ off so badly?" So he could avoid doing that at _all_ costs.

Shadow glared at the speedster before answering Knuckles, "I just had to watch the episode again." Confused looks were sent his way. " _Remembering_ everything I said, when to say it, and _how_ to say it." Comprehension set in and so did sympathy.

They were all lucky that Shadow was the one subjected to the time loop, Eggman believed. "If it was anyone _other_ than Shadow, the loop would've lasted much longer. Most of you rodents have motor mouths."

"You do too, Eggy!" Sonic retorted, but he had to agree. Shadow's reclusive nature helped him out for once. Who _knew_ how long Sonic would've been trapped for. Even he could admit that he talked a lot.

Tails eyed the striped hedgehog, feeling bad for him. "After going through that, you still want to pass up on the nap?"

"I'm _tired_ of staying in one place." Shadow grunted; he had looped so many times that he just wanted to _go._ He read 'The Curse of Buddy Buddy Temple' on the screen, relief filling his system at the welcome change even though it sounded ridiculous. "Just play it."

Tails and Amy shared a look before the latter shrugged, starting the episode.

**The scene started with an on-going battle. Sonic was running away from Eggman, who was shooting at him in his hovercraft. Amy and Tails were also sprinting along, dodging attack from robots at their heels.**

Shadow released any doubts left in his system. If the _thing_ had pulled a cruel trick, starting the episode with a waking Eggman, he would have lost his mind then and there.

**Eggman fired at a tree Sonic was approaching, and the speedster had to spin over it in order to keep from being crushed. Amy and Tails, now joined by Knuckles and Sticks, were now chasing the robots down, attacking the annoyances.**

"So this is just an early routine beat-em-up?" Sonic asked as he mentally filed through what Shadow could've done to get him thrown into a loop. He was coming up with nothing, and he was a _tad_ bit uneasy. Maybe it only had one time loop in its arsenal. _Please_ let it only have one.

Tails nodded. "Looks like it, and maybe this will lead up to the temple mentioned in the title."

" **Jungle laser, jungle laser, fry you with my laser!" Eggman sang boisterously as he continuously shot at Sonic.**

And at this point, Eggman knew that this episode was automatically worse than the one before. He was in for a bumpy ride because _why_ did his twin think that he was good at singing?

Knuckles inwardly groaned. "Eggman, if you ever pick up that hobby, I'd personally destroy every karaoke machine you own."

"I wouldn't stop you."

**The blue hero frowned back at the human before gazing ahead at a tree housing an occupied bird's nest. Sonic smirked. "Hey, Eggman, smile for the birdie!" Sonic hopped into the tree, causing its trunk to bend, and promptly dropped out of it, flinging the birds right into Eggman's face.**

Sonic hummed. "A plus for the attack, D minus for the quip."

**The doctor swatted them away with a yell. "Ow, ow! They're pecking my eyes! Why would I** _**ever** _ **smile at this?"**

"I'd smile if I ever saw it happen!" Amy giggled.

"I would as well," Metal commented. "If I ever regain the pleasure of possessing a mouth, which I should have been built with in the first place."

Eggman glared. "We are _not_ arguing about that again, Metal."

"We would not have to argue if you did it in the first place, doctor."

"Why did I _ever_ give you a personality?"

"Another major error on your part."

**Eggman flew away, and now Sonic chasing him. Meanwhile, the rest of the hero crew were running after a panicking Orbot and Cubot. Eggman hovered close to a cliff wall, and a section of the rock slid open. After he entered – Sonic following after him – a door with two smiling anthros on it slammed behind them.**

"Wait, did he know that the temple was there?" Amy furrowed her brow. "Because he just waltzed in without a second thought!"

"Who thinks twice about entering a temple as mysterious as that?"

"A lot of people, Sonic! You're just special."

**Knuckles ran up to the barrier and punched it. When it didn't open up, he growled, "Stop** _**smiling!"** _ **as the remainder of the two groups crowded the doorway.**

Knuckles had to remember about his happy place. He was going to need it again.

**Sonic was oblivious to what was going on behind him as he chased Eggman down a long hallway, more and more doors slamming behind the duo.**

**Sonic dash attacked the doctor only for Eggman to dodge, and now the speedster was the one getting followed, lasers being shot at him.**

**There was a fork in the road ahead, and Sonic turned to go down the left path. However, Eggman paused the chase, pointing in the other way. "What are you doing? We should fight** _**this** _ **way."**

Tails was starting to understand where Amy was coming from. "The other Eggman had to know about the temple beforehand! That's why he's trying to get Sonic to go in the other direction!"

"Could he be any less _obvious_ about it?" Eggman complained, wanting this double to revert to how he was acting in the last episode.

Shadow lowly scoffed, not as irritated – yet – because he was still feeling the afterglow of beating the _thing_ at its own game. "I doubt he could if he tried."

**Sonic shook his head in opposition, gesturing to the left. "No,** _**this** _ **way. The natural direction of the fight is taking us left."**

Knuckles slowly blinked. "The natural direction of the…what?"

"The natural direction of the fight!" Sonic linked his hands behind his head, leaning back in his chair. "You probably don't ever feel it because you're always babysittin' that rock of yours, but it's a real thing!" He ignored the glare. "It's like you have a gut feeling about which way you wanna go depending on the terrain, who's doin' the chasing, what time of day it is… Tails understands, don't you buddy?"

"I…have no idea what you're talking about."

Sonic waved him off. "It's just a hedgehog thing, then!"

Amy rose a dubious brow at him.

"A speedy hedgehog thing."

Shadow's expression showed no comprehension.

"Well, Metal and I-"

"Do not rope me into your inane babblings."

Sonic pursed his lips. "It's just a me thing? Really?"

Knuckles jeeringly snorted. "I agree with Amy. You're special alright."

" **Yes, we should go left," Eggman seemed to agree. "** _ **My**_ **left!"**

**Sonic wasn't budging. "No,** _**my** _ **left."**

" **My left!" Eggman gestured at the speedster. "** _ **Your**_ **right!"**

" **I know I'm right! We should go left. That's the** _ **right**_ **left."**

"Just fight in the hall!" Knuckles shouted in exasperation. "It doesn't matter!"

"It _does_ matter, Knux! The-"

"Sonic, just hush."

**Eggman blinked at him. "That doesn't even make any-" The ground suddenly collapsed under them, crashing the duo down a level. "I'm okay!" Eggman's voice shouted in relief.**

Eggman guessed that it was nice to know that even his double knew when stupidity pushed too far.

**In the room below, the doctor was catching his breath in his hovercraft while Sonic was on the floor writing in pain. "Ah!" the speedster hissed. "I twisted my ankle!"**

Sonic couldn't hide his flinch. Twisted ankles were right up there with stubbing your toe. Yeah, there was a continuous dull pain with a twisted ankle, but it felt like the world was going to _end_ that one time Sonic bumped into a wall. He was out for the count for at _least_ ten minutes.

**Eggman panted as he grinned. "I finally have you!" He pressed a button in his vehicle and a weak laser blasted out of it. Sonic barely had to shift his feet to the side to dodge. The doctor leaned over the hovercraft, sighing.**

"It was a valiant effort." Metal's sarcasm was palpable.

**Sonic took this chance. "Tuckered out, Eggman?" he asked with a smirk as he carefully got to his feet, most of his weight on his healthy leg. "Have a taste of my spin dash!" Sonic launched at the human, spinning in the air, but he quickly lost balance because of his injury. He completely missed his target and landed hard on his back. "You just got spin dashed…"**

Eggman stroked his mustache, the sight of the injured blue hedgehog brightening his day just a bit. "Hm."

"Don't get any ideas, Eggman!" Sonic called him out. "And plus, I'm not _that_ helpless with a twisted ankle!"

"Why don't we test it out then, rodent?"

"Just take my word for it!"

**Outside of the temple, Tails was pounding on the locked doors. "There's no other way in! Sonic's trapped!"**

**When those words sunk in, Orbot turned to Cubot, delighted. "That means Dr. Eggman's trapped too!"**

"Yes, he is. Now leave and never come back since you are no longer under his idiosyncratic control," Metal suggested.

**The two helper bots hugged each other and spun around as Cubot cheered, "We're free! Free I tells ya!" The duo then held up confetti sticks, the colorful paper twirling around them. "I could buy a houseboat and live on it, even though it's a boat!"**

Sonic had to say that houseboats were the second worst invention next to scuba gear.

**Orbot pleasantly sighed. "And I can finally finish my memoirs. I've been told I'm a natural recontour," he told the observing heroes.**

" **And I've been told I'm a neutral raccoon!" Cubot added before the robotic pair left the site.**

Tails cocked his head. "A neutral…raccoon?"

"What does that even mean?" Amy asked. "A raccoon who doesn't care if it eats out of a trashcan or garbage dumps?"

"I would not be surprised if they end up at a recycling plant," Metal uttered.

" **Well, we're sticking around to free Sonic," Amy said, regarding her friends. She put her hands on her hips. "But until then, one of us needs to be in charge."**

**Knuckles smiled. "Good thinking, Amy! I'll be in charge!"**

**Amy raised her brow in disbelief. "You?** _**I'm** _ **in charge!"**

"I kinda agree with the other Amy." Knuckles propped his chin in his palm. "If my twin was in charge, he'd just order everyone to tell the immobile statues to stop smiling. But then again, putting her in charge would just turn the group into a Sonic fan club."

"You say that like there's something _wrong_ with Sonic fan clubs!" Amy puffed her cheeks before conceding. "But yeah, the other me shouldn't lead because of _another_ reason. Tails is right there."

Tails nodded, a smile growing on his muzzle. "He'd be a great leader!"

"He would…" Sonic started with a slight smirk. "But do you really think that Dense the echidna and Headstrong Rose would let that happen?"

Tails slumped. "No…"

**Sticks crossed her arms with a frown. "I don't trust** _**anyone** _ **in charge."**

"Oh yeah, and the demented tooth fairy wouldn't want it either."

Shadow had to hide a massive twitch, the phrasing giving him flashbacks.

**Tails lifted a finger. "I know! Why don't we all be in charge?"**

**Sticks, Knuckles, and Amy yelled, "** _**No!** _ **" startling the kit.**

"He's just trying to help…"

Knuckles glanced over to the kit. "Tails, prepare yourself, because it's a good chance he's going to be ignored this whole episode." Because _why_ listen to the smartest one in the group, right?

**Inside, Sonic shook off the impact before standing up. "Oh perfect! We're stuck here."**

" **Correction-" Eggman grinned maliciously at the blue hero. "-** _ **you're**_ **stuck here." He started up his hovercraft. It slowly ascended toward the open ceiling, but then it began to sputter. Eggman promptly crashed back to the ground, shaking the floor.**

"He probably would've made it if he'd shed a few pounds." Sonic grinned as he turned his attention to Eggman. "Hey Eggy, do you have any problems with that? Or do you account for any evil ham that you eat?"

"I will _turn_ you into an evil ham if you don't be quiet!"

**Sonic looked down at the doctor, who has laying prone out of the hovercraft. He smirked and waved. "Catch ya later, Eggface!" He zoomed off before making a U-turn, gaining enough speed to jump up into the hole above. However, he pushed off with his hurt ankle, causing him not to get enough height and plummet back down.**

Amy winced at the crunching sound. "That sounded _brutal._ "

"It can't be that bad, though." Knuckles opposed. "Because he was running like _nothing_ was wrong with it a second ago."

**Eggman got to his feet, dusting himself off and mocking, "'Catch ya later, Eggface!' That's you.** _**That's** _ **what you sound like."**

Eggman wanted to hit his head against the nearby wall. "It's like he picks the perfect time to taunt, but his mind just comes up with the most _idiotic-"_

Sonic shrugged. "At least he's tryin'! You take the easy way out and just call us rodents and pincushions all the time."

"I do _not_ , you-" Eggman paused at Sonic's expectant and cheeky expression. "There are not enough words to describe how much I hate you."

"Love ya too, Eggy!"

**He pointed at the recovering hedgehog before noticing a handle on the ground connected to the same round picture as outside. The human futilely pulled at it, the circle unmoving. Eggman sighed before perking up, an idea coming to him. "Wait! I can hook the Eggmobile's tow cable to this floor tile! But, it doesn't have enough power to pull it open…"**

**Sonic crossed his arms, pointedly glancing away. "I can pull your dumb Eggmobile across the room,** _**if** _ **that's our only option."**

"It's interesting how much attitude the other Sonic has," Tails mused. "Like _attitude_ attitude."

Sonic snickered. "Like _attitude_ attitude attitude?"

Knuckles snorted. "Or like attitude attitude _attitude_ attitude?"

"Knux is right! It's more on the lines of attitude _attitude_ attitude _attitude_ attitude."

"You guys are the worst."

Amy held her head in her hands. "Attitude doesn't even sound like a _word_ anymore!"

**Eggman, in the hovercraft, pulled out a harness. "Get in the hedgehog harness."**

"He just…has that laying around?" Eggman himself was befuddled. Since when were there hedgehog harnesses, and _why_ were there hedgehog harnesses?

"It's best not to think about what he does in his free time," Shadow said, blocking those thought to protect whatever sanity he had left.

**Sonic blinked, shocked. "What? No way!" He turned away again before glancing back at the item. The speedster took it out of the other's hand, scowling. "If you tell** _**anyone** _ **about this…"**

Metal produced a scoff. "The whole village will know within the hour."

**The next shot showed one end of a tow cable tied to the handle and attached to the hovercraft. There was another cable connecting the vehicle and Sonic's worn harness.**

**Eggman raised a fist and chanted, "Mush! Mush!"**

" **I'm mushing, I'm mushing!" Sonic grumbled as he ran forward, dragging Eggman long.**

"Mush?" Sonic repeated, feeling insulted _for_ his double. "He's not a sled dog!"

"Forget about that," Knuckles began, narrowing his eyes. "Isn't his ankle twisted? Again, it's like he hadn't gotten hurt at all!"

Some gazes shifted over to Tails for an explanation, and the kit tentatively shrugged. "The magic of adrenaline?"

**As he built up speed running in a circle, the Eggmobile lifted off the ground and so did the heavy tile. Eggman laughed when the tile fully opened, but then he yelled in surprise when it fell through the floor, yanking the two down with it.**

**Sonic and Eggman were now on the level below. The hedgehog was laying on his back with a pensive expression on his face. "Did we just…cooperate?"**

"It was borderline slave labor," Knuckles pointed out. "But sure."

**Eggman chuckled. "Yup! And I've got great photos!" A picture appeared on the screen. It was a still frame of Eggman smiling and Sonic panicking as they fell through the floor.**

Amy squealed. "Oh my gosh! I _need_ that picture! The art style is so cute!"

Tails eyed her. "You do realize that Eggman takes up most of the frame, right…?"

"I can just crop him out! Sonic is just _too_ adorable flailing for his life like that!"

**With the remaining heroes, the atmosphere was becoming strained. Sticks was grumpily sitting on a rock by herself, Amy and Knuckles were arguing, and Tails was stuck in the middle.**

Tails sighed. This couldn't end well.

" **Fine," Amy began, clearly exasperated. "If we can't decide who's in charge, we'll split up. Who wants to be on Team Amy?" Tails energetically raised his hand.**

"I mean…" Tails couldn't argue his twin's decision. "It's the lesser of two evils?"

" **Great!" Knuckles gestured to himself. "And who wants Knuckles to lead Team Amy?"**

"Is…" Knuckles massaged his temples. "I just want to know what _happened_ to him? Do we get some kind of backstory?"

"And give him more screen time?" Metal shook his head. "I would rather be left in the dark."

**The pinkette groaned. "** _**Amy** _ **leads Team Amy!** _**Knuckles** _ **leads Team** _**Knuckles.** _ **"**

" **Wait, there's a Team Knuckles now?" the echidna asked, lost.**

Sonic couldn't be mad at him. "Hey, that implies that there should only be one team! At least he wants to stick together!"

"I don't know how you find the positives in almost any situation." Knuckles stifled a sigh. "But I appreciate it in how it brings my stress level down."

**Tails glanced between them. "Can I be on both teams?"**

" _ **No!**_ **" Amy and Knuckles shouted in tandem.**

"I'm don't want Sonic and Eggman to escape for their safety, I want them to escape so Tails gets a say again!" Amy frowned. She wouldn't shut Tails down like that unless he said something completely unreasonable. Which was like once when he told her that she should take a break in pursuing Sonic. Complete and utter nonsense.

**The pinkette's gaze was stern. "We all have to pick a side, Tails. Now, who's it gonna be: Amy…"**

" **Or Amy?" Knuckles finished. Amy facepalmed, and the echidna muttered, "I still don't get how this works."**

"And it'll probably take days to explain…"

"Thought you wanted to be more positive, Knux?"

"I am. I could've said weeks."

" **Help!" The heroes shifted their attention to Cubot, who quickly approached them with Orbot tagging behind. Sticks approached curiously as Cubot continued, "We can't be on our own!"**

**Orbot looked overwhelmed. "All that freedom! Too many choices!"**

Tails hummed to himself. "They hadn't known anything else, so I guess it makes sense?"

Metal deadpanned at him. "They had barely been gone ten minutes."

"I said that I guess!"

**Within the temple, Eggman was working on his hovercraft while Sonic was peering at the scribblings on the nearby wall.**

**The speedster peered over his shoulder at the human. "This looks like a message written in the temple's lost language."**

Sonic lowly whistled. "Wow. I would've said someone in desperate need of art classes had been there."

" **Ha!" Eggman barked out a laugh as he ducked into his vehicle. He stood back up with a scanner, pushing a button on it.**

Knuckles frowned up. "He's got a _lot_ of convenient items with him."

"It's common sense to be ready for _anything_ when you're up against a hedgehog who can run faster than the speed of sound and his equally as annoying friends," Eggman grumbled, crossing his arms.

**A red light shot out and scanned the perimeter around them. Eggman read the screen. "Congratulations. You are in the bowels of Buddy Buddy Temple. Enter as strangers, leave as best pals forever."**

**Sonic walked up the took the device, reading the rest. "Follow the example of the Buddy Buddy Beavers to become true bosom buddy amigos?"**

Sonic shuddered. "That's almost as bad as tellin' me that we've run out of hot dogs!"

Eggman was in full agreeance, disgust etched in his features. "If they actually become _friends_ after this, then that whole dimension officially needs psychiatric help."

" **Pfft." Eggman scoffed. "I ain't interested in your bosom, buddy."**

Eggman was glad that they were on the same page, but did he _have_ to speak like that?!

**He went to lean on his Eggmobile, and that caused a switch to be pressed underneath the vehicle.**

**The floor split apart, revealing lava below. Eggman and Sonic split to opposite sides of the room as the hovercraft fell into the red-hot pit.**

Worry swirled in Amy's veins. "I'm really happy that Sonic's ankle is mysteriously not broken anymore!"

**Sonic – pressed up against the wall to keep from meeting the same fate – looked behind him and saw the beaver tile. "Follow the Buddy Beavers…" Sonic mumbled before noticing a lever at his side. He pulled it, causing a platform to jut out of the wall on the other side. "Pull your lever, Eggman!"**

**The human hopped onto the new platform and did what he was told, creating a way for Sonic to escape the rising lava. Sonic jumped onto the part of the wall sticking out and the duo continued this pattern until they reached a door with two levers.**

**They tried to activate them separately until Sonic paused. "Let's do it together." The pair pulled at the same time, and the door opened.**

Shadow was tired of watching this episode already. "If Faker could do all of that, then why in the hell isn't he attacking the ceiling to escape?"

"His ankle is fixed, but not _that_ fixed," Knuckles retorted.

**They ran through it, but Eggman looked back to watch his hovercraft slowly sink and burn.**

**Devastation was etched into his features. "You were too beautiful to live…" he said as it was completely engulfed.**

"He cares more about his tools than his actual sentient machines?" Amy pursed her lips. "Isn't that kinda backwards?"

Eggman glanced over to her. "It's because tools don't talk _back_ to you."

Metal knew that was aimed at him.

Sonic inwardly scoffed. It was clear that Eggman had never met Caliburn.

**The rest of the heroes, along with Orbot and Cubot, were sitting in a partial circle, unsure on what to do.**

**Orbot spoke up. "Let's go over it one more time; who's leading us right now?"**

" **Me!" Both Amy and Knuckles answered.**

**Tails wasn't amused. "We're not getting anywhere like this. Maybe I should be in charge."**

" _ **No!**_ **" everyone else loudly opposed.**

Tails didn't understand. "What's so bad about him being in charge?"

Sonic shook his head, chuckling. "It's not about _him_ bein' in charge, it's about _them_ potentially losing an argument. They're more stubborn than I am!"

Shadow snorted. "Not by a long shot."

"Y'know, I thought you'd let me have that because I _basically_ insulted myself, and _you_ can't be talkin', Shads!"

"I'm less stubborn than you are, Faker."

"No, you're not!"

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're _not!_ "

"Yes, I _am._ "

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm _not."_

A cunning grin grew on Sonic's muzzle.

Shadow blinked before cursing to himself. He was off his game because of that stupid loop.

**Sonic and Eggman were now in a strange room with numerous holes in the walls.**

" **Why would there be little holes in this wall?" the doctor asked while he was inspecting the indentions. "Maybe people put pennies in them."**

Eggman glared. "Yes, what _any_ other reason could there be? Of course people are storing pennies in a wall of an underground friendship temple. Of _course._ "

**Sonic didn't respond to him, investigating as well…until he jumped back in shock, pointing and shouting. "Darts!"**

**Said projectiles were shot out of the holes, and in slow motion, Sonic tackled Eggman to the ground so they would avoid getting hit.**

" **Get off me!" Eggman groused, knocking the hero off of him.**

**Sonic landed on his side, sarcasm dripping in his tone. "You're** _**welcome.** _ **"**

"Showing some gratitude wouldn't hurt!" Amy yelled at the doctor onscreen. She would like to hit him one good time for that. Sonic saved him even with a not-so-twisted ankle!

Knuckles smirked. "It probably _would_ hurt, but it would cause a lot less pain than those darts."

**The human was hopping on one foot now, face twisted up in pain. "Agh, my ankle! I think it's sprained! Nope, it's** _**definitely** _ **sprained!" He lifted up his leg and held it. "Oh, it's twisted something fierce!"**

"I would say he's acting…" Tails said dubiously. "But it's really hard to tell anymore."

**Sonic ignored him, walking further into the room, eyes widening when he stepped on a hidden button. Large spikes popped out of the walls, and both sides of the room began moving slowly together.**

**Sonic quickly ran to Eggman's side, helping him in the direction of a way out. "About this morning…" the doctor started, "I'm sorry for, you know, blasting you with all those lasers. I need to learn not to try to incinerate you all the time."**

" **Thanks…" Sonic reluctantly uttered. "I guess."**

"Where's that attitude from before?" Sonic asked because his twin was _just_ pushed away for helping. "Eggy needs a big helping of 'tude right now, not hesitant appreciation!"

Metal glimpsed at him. "You would leave the doctor to be crushed like the bug he is, copy?" Eggman's glare was disregarded. "How morbid of you."

"It's a step up from usual," Shadow commented.

"No!" Sonic waved his hands. "I'd still _help_ him, but with just more 'tude! Don't you listen when I speak?"

"Only occasionally." Shadow grunted.

"When you say something worth listening to," Metal uttered. "The impending death of a doctor was interesting to me."

**The duo approached a portcullis with two buttons on opposite sides. "We gotta hit these at the same time," Sonic informed as he left Eggman to man his switch.**

**They synchronized their presses, and the heavy gate slid opened. Eggman was the first to jog through-**

"So he _was_ acting?"

Knuckles shrugged. "Have no idea, Tails." At this point, anyone could have a twisted ankle and they just didn't know it.

**-and Sonic went to follow, but the doctor shoved him back as the portcullis dropped, trapping the hedgehog inside.**

"That is _such_ a low blow!" Amy cried out, and Sonic had half the mind to remind her that actual low blows were _much_ worse than what happened. The pinkette whirled around to focus on the human. "Eggman, would you ever do that!?"

"No," Eggman answered. "And it's not because I care for the pincushion, but because they are still in the _temple t_ hat ran on being _partners_ with someone. If he killed Sonic, then he'd be stuck in there forever." Eggman blinked. "I wouldn't mind seeing that, actually…"

**Eggman laughed victoriously from the other side. "I can't believe you fell for the old 'sprained ankle' act. I stole the idea from you!" He imitated the speedster, hopping up and down. "'Ow, my ankle! I think it's sprained!' Man, those improv classes are really paying off."**

"Two things." Sonic held up two fingers. "One, they _really_ aren't. And two, imitation is the best form of flattery! He respects the other me a whole lot, huh? I don't blame him!"

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Yeah, he respects your twin _so_ much that he is willing to crush him with spikes."

**Sonic knocked on the metal in frustration. "You Eggs-Benedict-Arnold!"**

**Eggman haughtily waved. "So long, hedgehog! Hope you don't find this turn of events** _**crushing!** _ **Get it, 'cause you'll be crushed by the walls? They'll crush you."**

Eggman almost face-palmed. "Why can't he ever just _walk away?"_

**Sonic simply stared angrily at him. Eggman waved him off. "I'll explain it after you're crushed." The doctor strolled away whistling a tune while Sonic faced the increasingly narrowing room.**

**Eggman was happy until he came across another Buddy Beaver door. "Come on, why would there be** _**another** _ **door? I just opened one! Who even designed this temple?"**

Eggman fumed in his seat, and Knuckles was just glad that it wasn't his double and Eggman trapped in the temple. That would have been a _disaster._

**He took a deep breath. "It's okay, Eggman. You got this. Just pull both levers."**

**He ran to one on one side of the room, pulled it down, and then sprinted to the other side to flip the second one. However, as soon as he did so, the first popped back up on its own.**

**Eggman, seeing this, continued to try. "Stay down, levers!" He flipped one and yelled, "Stay down!" as the other stood up. Eggman slumped in defeat. "I was so close…"**

Metal was doubtful. "Was he really?"

Shadow inwardly sighed because this episode was _dragging._ Though, he didn't say it out loud because he would _not_ take the risk of being hit with another impossibility. "He was so close to being trapped forever, which is a letdown."

**He glanced over and noticed Sonic attempting to stop a wall by pushing against it. It wasn't working.**

" **Hedgehog, hit your button!" Eggman yelled as he ran back. "Let's go, giddy-up!" The doctor pressed a button on his side of the wall while Sonic heeded his words. The gate slid open, and Sonic rolled through just in time to keep from getting crushed.**

**Eggman ambled over to the hero, who was getting to his feet. The man immediately went to fix his wrongs. "Okay, I understand why you might be upset with me." Sonic glared up at him. "We're bosom buddy amigos now! Gimme a big smile!"**

Sonic scoffed. "If their positions had been switched, would Eggman give him a _big smile?_ "

"Probably," Knuckles responded. "That man is crazy."

**Standing up now, Sonic deadpanned at him until the temple started to quake. "Let's just get out of here before the roof caves in!" The pair jumped to the side to avoid an enormous boulder falling from the ceiling.**

**Outside, Sticks was back on her rock, and Amy and Knuckles were still arguing.**

" **If I was in charge-" Amy jabbed a thumb over her shoulder, pointing at the locked doors. "-we'd be in the temple already."**

"It doesn't matter if you have a leader or not!" Amy wished _she_ was there to put an end to all the bickering. "You don't have to be a leader to go to town with your hammer!"

**Of course, Knuckles had a counterargument. "And if** _ **you**_ **were in charge,** _ **I'd**_ **be in the temple already."**

**Amy could do nothing but stare.**

"Honestly? He's most likely telling the truth." Tails couldn't help but to chuckle. "They could've been in there if they hadn't been arguing."

**Suddenly, the ground nearby started to break, leaving Orbot and Cubot worried.**

**Cubot rose a finger. "Hello? Uh, fellas?"**

**They were ignored, Amy raising her voice at the echidna. "You're so incompetent, you don't even know how to argue!"**

" **You're right!" Knuckles shouted back. "Most of the time, I'm very confused and just yell back things!"**

Sonic snickered. "Sound familiar, Knux?"

"I do _not-"_ Knuckles lowered his voice with a glare. "I'm _not_ confused when I yell! I know _exactly_ what I'm yelling about. Most of the time, it's you."

"And the rock."

" _Because_ of you."

**Sticks went over to them. "It doesn't matter who's leading! We're never getting into the-" The ground broke under their feet, and everyone fell into the resulting hole.**

**Below them, Eggman was standing on Sonic's shoulders, trying to reach a higher opening, but the pair froze when a nearby wall caved in, the rest of the heroes and robots making their appearance.**

**Amy looked over and noticed the duo. "Sonic! Are you helping** _**Eggman** _ **?"**

" **What?" Sonic hastily shoved Eggman up into the hole, leaning against the wall nonchalantly. "No."**

Amy giggled. "Smooth."

**The wall between him and the doctor tumbled down, and Sonic peered into the next room to see an old mine cart and a set of tracks. "There's our way out!"**

Tails furrowed his brow. "Couldn't they just go back up the way they fell down?"

Eggman shook his head. "That would be too simple."

**Sonic leapt over the pile of rocks and stood by the cart. Orbot floated by him, hesitant. "An old mine cart? We don't even know where it goes!"**

**A stone pelted him in the head, and Sonic smirked. "You wanna stay here?"**

Sonic barked out a laugh. "Yeah, that should be enough incentive!"

**Everyone then boarded the mine cart, Sonic and Eggman taking each end of the lever.**

"Wouldn't it make more sense for Knuckles to do it with Sonic?"

"Oh definitely." Knuckles grunted at Amy's question. "But this is a Sonic and Eggman episode."

" **Okay, ready?" Sonic asked Eggman before they began to shift the lever, yelling out 'lift' and 'pump' as they worked.**

**The cart accelerated quickly as it moved along the rails. The tunnel then started to collapse behind them, pushing Sonic and Eggman to work harder. Eventually, they reached the end of the cave, flying out from the side of a cliff.**

"It's like a roller coaster! I would want to find that temple just to ride the cart!"

"Of course you would," Eggman, Shadow, and Knuckles chorused.

Sonic didn't pay them any attention, daydreaming about the track without the flying out from the side of a cliff part.

**They landed on the ground below, dodging a couple extra rolling rocks.**

" **Yes!" Eggman and Sonic shout at the same time, holding up hands to high-five each other. However, they stopped themselves after realizing what they were about to do and walked away.**

Eggman nodded, relieved. "Great decision."

**Cubot hugged Eggman's leg. "We're so happy you're back, boss!"**

**Orbot hugged the other. "We'll never desert you again!"**

**Eggman's brow creased. "You'll never what?"**

**Orbot took back his words. "I mean, would you mind reading a draft of my memoirs?"**

Metal was disappointed. "I would not have hidden it. He needs to know that he's so incompetent that his own creations thought about abandoning him."

Eggman resisted the _strong_ urge to tell the other off.

" **Thank goodness we've got Sonic back again!" Amy sighed in relief before turning to the red echidna. "Knuckles, I can't believe we squabbled like that."**

" **Yeah," Knuckles agreed. "You were out of control."**

**Amy's smile instantly fell. "** _ **I**_ **was out of control?!** _ **You**_ **were being totally obstinate!"**

**Knuckles looked down his nose at her. "I don't know what obstinate means, but I** _**refuse** _ **to learn."**

"Yep. That sums up his _whole_ character." Knuckles stretched his arms above his head. They had to be reaching the end of this one, right? "But what I'm really caught on is that the whole team just fell apart when Sonic left. Is _Sonic_ seriously the glue holding them together?"

Sonic puffed out his chest. "Told ya Sonics are awesome!"

"Or the whole group is just a mess."

"Yeah, or that too."

" **You know…" Sonic peeled his attention from Amy and Knuckles onto Eggman, who was talking to him. "We actually made a pretty good team. It was almost like, we were friends or something."**

"Yeah, because friends leave other friends behind to be crushed by spiked walls!" Amy stuck her tongue out. "Drop him like the toxic friend he is!"

**Sonic scoffed good-naturedly. "Yeah, like** _**that** _ **would ever happen." The ground suddenly shook, more rocks tumbling down the cliff. The heroes ran off, Sonic calling back a, "Catch ya later, Eggface!"**

" **Not if I destroy you first!" Eggman retorted with a smirk, running away with Orbot and Cubot in tow.**

**The same picture as before floated down and landed on a rock as the episode ended.**

"If it was anyone else, I would've said the ending was adorable," Amy reluctantly mumbled.

"Nothing involving my copy will ever be adorable," Metal opposed.

Sonic didn't exactly know how to respond to that, so instead he said, "Another episode down! We're makin' progress!"

"Finally," Shadow muttered under his breath.

Sonic smirked over at him. "You looked so into it though, Shads! We could probably watch it again if you want!"

"Faker, if you don't want to lose _all_ of your teeth, I advise you to shut the hell up."

Sonic needed teeth to eat chili dogs. "Say no more."


	21. Chapter 21

Eggman watched as the number fourteen appeared on the screen in something akin to relief. It didn't surprise him when it burst into flame, nothing on his mind but getting out of this house as soon as possible.

This was probably – no, _surely_ – the worst day he'd had in years. The day he'd declared Sonic his nemesis was better than this. At least he wasn't _stuck_ with the annoyance with his mental state steadily decreasing.

Though, Eggman had to admit he'd had better than some of the others stuck with him. Shadow, for example. That rodent was close to cracking, and Eggman seriously didn't want to be around if it happened.

And he didn't want to be put in a time loop either.

Please.

Sonic stretched his muscles as the number faded, some joints popping. "Only fourteen left!" He was never going to complain about the amount of episodes again. He had nothing but positivity because he couldn't afford the risk of being negative. "That's like uh…math isn't my forte. Metal, how long-"

Metal calculated how much time they had left to be at the mercy of whatever's tormenting them. "We have approximately two and a half hours left until we are supposedly released."

"Supposedly? _Hell_ no." Shadow refused to think about what would happen if they stayed a second longer than needed. Ultimate Lifeform or not, he'd probably have an aneurysm. "We _better_ be able to leave after the last episode, or I'll-"

"I'd advise you to stop there." Knuckles grunted with a subtle grin. Words were dangerous here. "If you know what's good for you."

Shadow gritted his teeth, eye twitching.

"Speaking of the amount of time remaining…" Tails was reminded of the fact that a specific agent was out on a jewel hunt, which wasn't all that necessary anymore. "Do you think Rouge will be mad when she comes back with the emerald?"

Amy frowned at that; she'd honestly forgotten that Rouge was helping them. "Hopefully not! I mean, she's like in love with the emeralds, right? Maybe she won't be that mad that we made her work!"

Shadow didn't feel bad at all that they had sent her out. "What she's doing is less traumatizing than what we're going through. I'd gladly trade places with her."

* * *

"I _really_ wish that I had asked the doctor how big this cave was. I hope you've been keeping track of where we've been, hon."

"I WAS NEVER GIVEN THAT TASK, SO THERE IS A HIGH CHANCE THAT WE ARE LOST."

"Omega!"

"IT IS NOT MY FAULT."

"How is it not?!"

"YOU TOLD ME TO BE A FLASHLIGHT, NOT A GPS LIKE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN."

"Are you being passive aggressive with me?"

"NO."

"Because I might be a bat, but that doesn't mean that I would rather stumble around in the dar – are you _serious_ right now?"

"WHAT IS THE MATTER, ROUGE?"

"There are bats in this cave!"

"YES. YOU ARE IN A CAVE WITH SMALLER, LESS COMBAT-READY BATS. WHAT IS THE ISSUE?"

"Do you see what I have on, Omega? I'd rather _not_ leave this place covered in guano! Ugh, forget a spa day, I'd need a spa _month_ with constant massages to ease my stress."

"WELL, WE CANNOT EXACTLY LEAVE BECAUSE WE ARE LOST."

"Fantastic."

"AT LEAST I CAN BE AN OPTIMAL FLASHLIGHT."

"That's definitely passive aggression."

"THIS TRIP WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN WE RETRIEVE THE CHAOS EMERALD."

"You're right with that one, sugar. I can't wait to get my hands on – _ah!_ It got _in my fur!"_

"…I ASSUME YOU WILL BE WANTING A MASSAGE IN THE NEAR FUTURE."

* * *

"Yeah." Sonic could agree with what Shadow was saying. "I'd love to be on an adrenaline-pumping emerald collectin' spree with Eggman being a determined yet easy obstacle." He smirked over at the man who was trying hard to not respond.

However, Sonic thought about what he just said and raced to mend his words. "I-I mean, not like this situation is the worst thing in the world!" He started to plead. "Don't loop me, please! We don't need two mentally unstable hedgehogs in this room!"

Metal glanced over at Amy. "I think you mean thr-"

"Finish that statement, and you'll get a taste of my hammer!"

"I cannot taste, and I rest my case."

"Maybe we should just watch the episode before we give the _thing_ anymore ideas…" Tails suggested, his namesakes twitching nervously. His blue eyes shifted up to the TV and read the title aloud. "'Blue with Envy'…wait, isn't the correct phrase _green_ with envy?"

"It is. Usually." Knuckles cracked an unnerving grin that Sonic didn't like at all. "But it looks like to me that in this episode, something _blue_ will get a little jealous of something. Or some _one_."

Sonic produced a strangled sound in his throat _._

Amy was on the other end of the spectrum. "Wait! Does that mean it'll become official in this one? Like, it'll be _obvious_ that the other Sonic is head over heels with my twin!" She squealed; Sonic sunk lower in his seat, and Knuckles knew that he was enjoy this episode for sure.

Tails wasn't going to jump to that conclusion yet, if only to keep the pinkette's squeals from shattering eardrums. "Not necessarily! There's many things to be jealous about! Like…somewhat could make chilidogs better than him…?"

Sonic pushed away his torment at the moment, Tails' scenario making him scoff. "Not possible! And if it _did_ happen – it wouldn't though – I'd be more angry than jealous! Nobody makes those mouth-watering, taste bud sizzling, delicious masterpieces better than I do!"

Metal hummed. "And I will never be able to taste one."

"Oh, you poor soul."

"Are we done talking about chilidogs now?!" Amy asked, doing a little dance in her seat. Her thumb was itching to start the show. "Can I play it?"

Sonic held up a finger. "Actually-"

"I'm doing it!"

**The scene began with the group of heroes sitting at a table, eating burgers.**

Amy instantly regretted her hasty decision.

" **I don't care what anyone says." Sonic started, holding his food up. "Meh burgers are the** _ **best**_ **burgers!"**

Sonic didn't know what to think. Either his double had a gotten a really hard hit on his head lately, or his taste buds seriously needed to be checked. "Is Meh Burger the _only_ place that sells burgers?"

"It has to be!" Amy couldn't believe that the twin of her love interest had such poor taste! "Because there's no other reason why they keep going there!"

"Perhaps it is some strange adaptation of Stockholm syndrome." Metal suggested. "They have been trapped by Meh Burger because it is the only restaurant in the village, and their expectations plummeted until they began to like it."

"Or…maybe Meh Burger is better than what we think it is?"

Everyone gave Tails a disbelieving look.

"What? I'm just trying to bring logic into this."

**He took a bite out of the burger, humming at the taste. "Mmm! It's like Mardi Gras in my mouth!" He blinked, lowering his meal. "Only no one in my mouth is handing out beads…"**

Knuckles had been expecting that out of his double, not Sonic's. "Or maybe it's an addictive drug." And that could be why brain cells ended up missing in that dimension.

**Barely a second after Sonic uttered those words, a green blur blew past them, the generated wind whipping his and Amy's quills.**

Sonic furrowed his brow because that was either Shadow, who had for some reason rolled around in green dye, or someone who needed to be raced immediately. "Uh…so any guesses to who this guy is?"

Knuckles snorted. " _Obviously_ the guy who's going to steal your girl."

"Does anyone other than Knuckles want to answer?"

Amy was too giddy to compose coherent sentences. Tails pursed his lips in thought, mentally going over everyone they knew. "I mean, Vector and Jet are the only green people we know, and Vector isn't known for being fast…"

Amy's smile instantly fell. "Oh no, Jet's going to be in this one?" And was her twin seriously going to fall for _Jet?!_ The other Amy needed glasses, and psychological help, pronto.

"That irritating rat with wings?" Shadow had only interacted with the hawk and his posse a handful of times, but that was more than enough to fuel his hatred. "Because things were going so _smoothly_ before."

Eggman didn't really have an opinion, since every single on of Sonic's acquaintances were aggravating pebbles in his shoes that he never seemed to get rid of. However, he would _very_ much appreciate it if this dilapidated living room didn't get too crowded. It was loud enough as is. "Well, that hawk hasn't shown up in here-"

"Yet!" Amy interrupted him, knowing that anything could happen.

Sonic jumped into the conversation. "C'mon guys! Jet isn't that…"

Knuckles smirked over at him. "See there? Can't even finish that thought."

"I can! He can be just a handful, that's all! Everyone here has been a handful at least once!"

"Except me!"

"Except Tails!"

**The blur circled a couple more villagers peacefully walking before skidding to a stop. It was a green anthro with vibrant clothing and white shades.**

"Anyone else going blind?" Sonic asked.

"Oh definitely." Amy was squinting at this point. "But I'm really glad that it isn't actually Jet! Just some guy who thinks he's cooler than he actually is! Where did he even _get_ those clothes?!"

**He lifted the shades and winked at the on watchers, gaining the villagers' attention. The stranger then pulled out a showy skateboard and threw it to the ground.**

"He's not Jet, but he's close enough." Knuckles grunted. "He's got the color down, the attitude, and the board that makes him think he's all that and a bag of chips."

"Half empty or full?" Metal questioned, because he'd experienced how disappointing a half empty bag could be.

"Full."

" **What's he gonna do with that skateboard?" an old monkey asked.**

**The ox in front of him answered in awe, "I think he's gonna…ride it!"**

**The newcomer finger gunned at the group of villagers, and they 'ooo'ed in interest.**

"They…are easily entertained, huh?"

"Don't pretend you don't gather a crowd every time you step in the city, Faker."

"I do more than just finger-gun on a skateboard and you know it!"

**Sonic wasn't too enthused about the new guy. "What? He's riding a skateboard. How is that impressive?"**

Tails could agree. They've seen the heroes do crazier stuff that that! "Well, looks like the other Sonic gets jealous of the new guy gaining all of the attention! Not uh…anything else!"

Relief filled Sonic's veins. "Yeah, that makes a lot more sense!"

"The episode just started," Knuckles and Amy reminded him at once, and Sonic thought that those two were enjoying this _way_ too much.

**The green stranger dropped his shades back over his eyes and bolted forward on his board. He circled the gathering crowd before hopping onto the Meh Burger's hardwood floors, posing in front of two citizens eating.**

**Knuckles turned around and grinned. "He's got street-wise style!"**

"Street-wise, as in never getting hit at night because of how bright he is," Knuckles uttered, not surprised that twin was entranced by something new and shiny.

" **He's jumping six inches off the ground." Sonic deadpanned before sputtering when the newcomer rode across their table, spilling the blue speedster's drink on himself.**

Shadow scoffed. "He's starting to grow on me."

"He's not half bad," Eggman agreed.

"You all may have been harsh in your judgements of him," Metal said as well, making Sonic's eyes roll.

**The skateboarder landed on the ground and skidded to a stop. He lifted his shades and finger gunned at the hero group. "Radical speed!" He smugly blew his finger and crossed his arms, smirking.**

"Nevermind," the same trio from before muttered.

"Radical speed?" Knuckles groaned. They needed to hurry and get to the jealousy part so the echidna could be entertained. " _Please_ don't let this turn into another 'soar like an eagle' situation."

"It's totally gonna be his catchphrase." In a way, Sonic was insulted. Of all the words to describe speed, the guy had to choose _radical._ Speed deserved better than that.

**The villagers cheered, and Sonic groaned. "Oh, for the love of-"**

" **Wow!" Tails gushed, eyes on the new guy. "Those were some sweet moves!"**

"He…just rode on a skateboard." Tails slowly blinked, wondering why his twin was so amazed. He'd invented hovercrafts, for crying out loud! "He didn't do any tricks!"

Sonic nodded with a huff. "I looked cooler sliding on a piece of metal from a plane!"

Tails chuckled at him. "I don't think G.U.N. would agree with that."

"Their opinion doesn't matter."

**The other rode a little closer. "Thanks, bro!"**

**Tails perked up. "You hear that? He called me 'bro!'"**

Tails didn't know what to say to that.

Knuckles did. "You know, I figured that anyone would be embarrassed to be acknowledged by the walking neon sign. Apparently, that isn't the case."

" **Yeah, I heard," Sonic drawled blandly. "He's quite a wordsmith."**

" **It's Swifty." The stranger introduced himself, posing on his skateboard. "Swifty the Shrew!"**

"Take away the skateboard and have him give a thumb's up, that introduction would look and sound _really_ familiar, don't you think?" Knuckles jeered, giving Sonic a side glance.

Sonic puffed his cheeks. "And? I'm way cooler than him! At least I don't try to make people go blind in the process!"

"But you do try your damnedest to make everyone go deaf," Shadow retorted.

"I'm not that loud."

"The fact that you're now whispering proves my point."

**Amy wasn't as impressed as the rest.**

Amy slumped. "This seriously is about Sonic just being mad he isn't in the spotlight anymore, and not about this becoming a drama in which he goes to prove his love for Amy by fighting Swifty for her affections?"

"Nailed it on head, Ames!" Sonic smiled, his worry melting away.

Amy pouted.

" **I don't see what the fuss is about. He's just a shrew in gaudy clothes," she said with a flick of her wrist, unintentionally tossing her burger to the side.**

**However, it didn't get a chance to hit the ground. Swifty had called, "I got it!" and rushed over, catching the burger safely in his hand. He smiled as he held it up to a surprised Amy.**

**The pinkette quietly gasped, returning the smile. "You…caught my burger!"**

Sonic's worry slammed back into him, full-force. "Oh no."

Amy perked back up – not because her twin was potentially falling for not-Jet. Ew – because her drama fantasy was possible again! "Yes! Now show how jealous the other Sonic is. Go on!"

" **Radical…" Swifty began, looking deep in her eyes. "…speed."**

"I'm going to throw up," Sonic wheezed.

**Swifty winked at her before showily gesturing to the burger. He then raised it to Amy's mouth, and she took a bite. After grabbing the burger herself, she repeated with a mouth full, "Radical speed!"**

Sonic began to heave.

Knuckles wished that he was recording all of this. "Are you that sickened by someone else trying to seduce Amy?"

"No. I'm just seeing him as Jet, and my stomach's not agreeing with any of it."

Amy couldn't blame him. The only reason she's getting through this was because she was focusing more on the immediate future.

" **Give me a** _ **break**_ **." Sonic stood up, grabbing his burger. "I can feed people sandwiches, watch!"**

**He abruptly shoved it into Knuckles' mouth, and the echidna quickly spat it out, coughing. "Hey, lay off, man!"**

Amy swooned in her seat. "Ah…he's totally jealous! Young love is so amazing!"

Sonic waved his hands. "Wait, it hasn't exactly been proven yet! It could just be because he wants to show that _anyone_ could be force-fed! It's literal, no need for inferences here!"

"You are reaching, copy."

Knuckles snorted. "If an emotionless _robot_ thinks that love is in the air, Sonic, love is in the air." He shrugged. "Just accept it."

Amy tapped her chin, thoughts running through her head. "So Sonic, if I went on a date with Jet-"

"Are you hearin' what you're saying, Ames? You'd _willingly_ go on a date with Jet? Just to get with me?"

"…Yeah, I don't think my loves goes that far."

**Before Sonic could respond, the walrus lady was calling over to them. "Help! Help!" She pointed to a toddler on top of a building, dangerously close to falling off. "My baby!"**

**Tails' eyes were wide. "Somebody needs to help that baby!"**

A subtle frown marred Tails' muzzle. "You…You can fly!"

"What I've gathered from going through this torture so many times-"

"You have _no_ idea what torture is, doctor."

Eggman went on like Shadow hadn't spoken even though the rodent was technically right. "-is that if the episode is about one or two people, the rest of the characters become completely incompetent." Except for his double, whose actions were questionable all the time, barring a few instances.

**Swifty smirked. "Say no more, compadre bromigo!"**

Sonic knew that he had pretty uh… _out-there_ nicknames for people, but this was just ridiculous. "Okay, if I ever get that bad, duct tape me and remind me of this episode. I'd completely understand and change my ways."

**He jumped onto his skateboard, glancing over his shoulder. "Time for some…"**

**Sticks, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy finished his statement with smiles. "Radical speed!"**

**Sonic audibly scoffed.**

Amy sighed. "Like, I'm _all_ for the jealously plot here, but couldn't Swifty be…better? Just a little bit?"

Knuckles didn't mind as much. "It's working. That's all that matters, right Sonic?"

"The only thing that matters is me potentially sinking that rock of yours to the bottom of the ocean."

"I'd like to see you try."

"No you won't."

**Swifty darted on his board toward the walrus baby while the heroes – sans Sonic – cheered him on. Instead, Sonic walked away from the table. "Yeah? Well, I'm saving the day too!"**

**The azure hero turned back like Swifty did, trying for a catchphrase. "Time for some rescuing…" He crossed his arms. "…Baby…" Sonic scratched his chin. "…action…heroness?"**

Sonic held his hand in his hands, feeling the secondhand embarrassment. "You can't force it! Catchphrases just come naturally!"

"Well…" Tails managed a smile. "At least he's trying?"

" _He's_ the one who needs the duct tape…" Knuckles muttered.

**His friends were unimpressed.**

**Sonic sighed. "I'll figure out a catchphrase later." He ran after Swifty as the shrew pulled out lit sparklers, a pair in each hand. The villagers cheered from the sidelines, and Swifty palmed a small rocket out of nowhere. He lit the rocket with the sparklers and let it go. Sonic gasped when sparks flew near his face. "Ow! My retinas!"**

"Where did he get those things from?!" Sonic asked, now feeling sympathetic towards his double. He'd had his fair share of bright lights in this house alone.

"The same place I keep my hammer, maybe?" Amy suggested.

Tails rose a brow at her. "Where is that, Amy?"

The pinkette shrugged.

**Up head, there was a blue ox standing in front of a cart holding a bucket of glue. "Glue! Get your fresh glue here!"**

**Swifty rode by, knocking the bucket out of the ox's hand, glue splattering all over the ground. Sonic ran right into the mess, his feet getting stuck.**

Eggman needed to know where he could get _that_ kind of glue from. He could have built Eggmanland _twenty_ times over if he had it in his possession.

**The shrew kept going without looking back. He came across a crane with a net attached to a hook. He spun the crane around, and the net flew over and covered the still stuck Sonic, making the hedgehog scowl as he struggled.**

"It is really that simple to trap him?" Metal commented.

Sonic was just going to disregard how laughably easy his twin got caught because people had bad days all the time. Some… were just worse than others. "Yeah, but is no one gonna bring up the fact that he basically targeted a _hero?_ "

**The walrus baby fell from the roof, and Swifty was there to catch him mid-air. The shrew drank a can of soda, and villagers took pictures as he fell. He landed safely on his skateboard, and he handed the baby over to his mother.**

Knuckles looked over at Sonic. "Does that answer your question?"

The hedgehog tapped his foot, raising a fist. "All my twin has to do is beat that guy's butt in a race! Show him who's the top dog!"

"And to win my double's heart!"

"You just ruined the moment, Ames."

"No I didn't!" Amy gazed at Sonic, who didn't like the glint in her eyes. "Don't you ever imagine what it would be like to be together, Sonic?"

"I do, and it terrifies me."

"Let me love you!"

"You can! Just…from a distance. Your hugs hurt."

**Swifty gave her a thumbs up before facing the crowd. "Remember, when you need a hero with style, give me a call!" He spun around in place. "I'm Swifty the Shrew! Catch you around dudes…and lady dudes!"**

**He rode away while Amy and Sticks stared after him, infatuated.**

"Sticks too?" Tails was completely confused at this point. "What is happening?"

"Insanity," Shadow replied.

" **I'd love to be his lady dude! Oh!" Amy sighed and fainted into Sticks' arms.**

**The badger pleasantly sighed. "Me, too… Oh!" She fainted, and Tails ran up to her to catch both of the girls.**

**His strain was obvious. "Fainting party!" The fox only lasted a couple of seconds before collapsing to the ground.**

Tails felt bad and also thought about working out a bit in the future. His arms were _kinda_ noodle-ly.

**There was a scene change, and now the heroes were in Tails' house by his workshop.**

**Sonic was sitting on a couch, using a scraper to try to get the glue off his shoes. "Lousy Swifty and his lousy** _**in your face** _ **street-wise style…" the speedster grumbled as he worked. "Lousy hip urban lingo…"**

Sonic snorted. "He's starting to sound as old as Egghead there."

Eggman brooded, believing that duct tape would be a _perfect_ gift right now. Along with some robots. And freedom. Freedom would be nice.

**Amy and Sticks were sitting on a sofa opposite of him. The pinkette was smiling. "And did you see the way he pulled down his sunglasses and winked?" Her smile widened. "Oh, he's perfect!"**

" **I know!" Sticks gestured to herself before jumping up in excitement. "If he ever visited me, I'd disable all my booby-traps!"**

If Knuckles had been drinking something, it would've been all over the floor. "Her _what?!"_

Amy covered her mouth in shock. "Oh my gosh!"

Sonic was gaping. "Wow…she actually…wow."

Shadow rolled his eyes at the immaturity in the room. "She didn't mean it that way, and you know it."

"You don't know that." Eggman wanted out of this house even more now. "She's clearly not as civilized. She probably doesn't know any better."

"Did I miss something?" Metal glanced around. "I do not see what the issue is here. She is simply speaking about traps."

"Yeah…" Tails was lost. "I don't understand eith-"

"Then we don't have to talk about it!" Sonic cut him off with a twitchy smile. "Let's keep on rollin'!"

Tails didn't agree with that. "Wait! I've been left out of the loop a couple times! You skip over stuff, but I want to know this time!"

"I don't think-"

Shadow interrupted Sonic, not understanding the hesitation. "Just tell him already. He's old enough. What is he? Thirteen?"

"He's eight!"

"…My point still stands."

"No it doesn't!" Sonic faced an expectant Tails. "Okay, buddy, I'll uh…tell ya when we all get outta here because it might take a while and we wanna escape as soon as we can. Deal?"

"Deal!"

**Amy shook her head. "You never disable your booby-traps!"**

**Sticks did a little dance, squealing, "I know!"**

Shadow changed his mind. They knew _exactly_ what they were saying.

**Sonic's anger was palpable. "Ugh…"**

Getting over her shock, Amy managed an excited smile. "Oh man, could it be anymore obvious? I just want to see them go on a date already!"

"I'm pretty sure it's coming." Knuckles snickered as he rotated his shoulders a bit. Or at least, he hoped it was. Teasing Sonic about this was one of the few enjoyments he got from watching the show.

**Later, Sonic was approaching Tails' workshop. He opened the door and froze at the sight of Swifty watching the fox work on his plane.**

**Swifty was awed as Tails settled in the cockpit, him sitting in the seat behind. "This is one bodacious radical flying machine, dude-a-rino bro-guy!"**

"It seems to be impossible for him to utter a single sentence that doesn't make me want to tear out his tongue."

"Metal! Don't-"

"Do not remind me about the feeling of pain, copy, because I know. I am willing to make an exception."

**Sonic had his hands on his hips, disgust and confusion clear as day. "'Dude-a-rino bro-guy'?"**

"See? He agrees."

"I don't think he wants to tear out his _tongue,_ Mets."

**The fox and shrew then chorused, "Totally radical engineering!" before performing a lengthy handshake.**

"Want to be best friends with Tails?" Knuckles began, "Just call him 'bro', and you're set. Decent personality not necessary."

" **Hey!" Sonic gained their attention, arms crossed. "That's** _ **my**_ **best friend you're bonding with, punk!"**

"Yeah!" Sonic agreed. He then smiled over at the kit. "I mean, it's not like I'm against you makin' other friends, but you gotta use common sense. And you have a lot of that!"

Tails giggled. "Got that right! A simple 'bro' won't sway me that easily!"

**Swifty held his hands up innocently. "Whoa! Chill-ax, blue man! What's the big dealio?" He hopped down from the plane.**

**Sonic huffed. "The big** _**dealio** _ **is I'm sick of you! I'm sick of your gelled-back fur, and I'm sick of your hip urban lingo with words like…'Dealio'!"**

Sonic clapped. "You tell him, other me!"

Amy pursed her lips. "It makes me wonder why he's using those words so much though! Is Swifty just trying to be cool so others will like him? He is actually a lonely person looking for a friend?"

"Ames, no, stop it. You're not your twin. You're not a psychologist."

**A curious Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks entered the workshop as Swifty began to approach the blue hedgehog. "Let's not go agro, bro-zilla! Can't help if I'm more handsome, stylin', and…" He sprinted up to Sonic, grinning. "** _ **Totally**_ **faster than you."**

Sonic, Tails, and Amy all gasped simultaneously.

"Nevermind what I said before! He's trying to make enemies, not friends!"

"Yeah, those are fighting words!"

Sonic leaned forward in his seat. "No, those are racing words! They're totally gonna settle this in a sprint to the finish!" And if his twin lost, Sonic was going to be the definition of a disappointed parent.

**Sonic glared, voice lowering. "You're not faster than me."**

**Swifty's grin didn't waver. "Bro, you got speed, but not-" He blurred as he circled a frowning Sonic, stopping with a hand on his hip. "-radical speed!"**

" **Stop** _ **saying**_ **that!" Sonic yelled in frustration as he walked away. "It's not even a thing!"**

" **Radical speed is** _ **totally**_ **a thing," Swifty taunted.**

By this point, Eggman had gained a strong opinion about this shrew. "He's _way_ worse than you rodent, and that's saying a lot."

Sonic nodded, disregarding the jab. "If both heroes _and_ villains don't like you, there's a big problem."

**Sonic turned around after taking a few steps, a smirk replacing his frown. "Oh, a race around the village will prove that it isn't!"**

Sonic inwardly cheered, eager to see how his double blew the other out of the water.

**Swifty didn't hesitate. "Sounds dope! Winner gets bragging rights!"**

**Sonic nodded, completely confident. "Agreed."**

**The shrew bounded up to him, pointing a finger. "And the loser…leaves town!"**

"Wait, what?" Amy really didn't expect that. "That's a bit harsh, isn't it? He's going to try to make Sonic just up and leave?"

Knuckles hummed at that, feeling like something was off here. Well, some _one_ was missing from this episode. "Eggman hadn't shown up in this one yet, and he'd been in every single episode. Maybe he's behind this?" That was the only thing he could think of.

Tails frowned up at that. "Are you saying that he might be working for Eggman or something?"

Sonic facepalmed. "Don't tell me that he's another intern! Didn't the other Eggface learn from Dave?"

"Apparently not." Eggman muttered. "And I have to say, this is a major _downgrade._ " He might've tolerated Dave for a couple of hours, but Eggman would've tossed Swifty right back out on the street the moment he met him.

**Sonic blinked at him in surprise. "Uh, wait, what?"**

**Swifty mockingly shrugged. "If you don't think you got the skills…"**

" **Oh, I've got the skills alright!" Sonic defended himself. "I'm so full of skills that skills are leaking out of my ears!" He thought about the words he just said. "I mean, not literally, because that would be disgusting."**

Knuckles just shook his head. "I feel like he's making up for my double not talking, and I'm going to need him to cut that out. He won't remain second on my character list for long if he keeps that up."

**Sonic glanced at his observing friends before focusing on Swifty once more. "See you at the race!" he shouted, running out of the workshop.**

**The shrew strolled back over to Tails, throwing an arm over the shorter one's shoulders. "Man, can you believe that guy? What a lameoid!"**

**Tails frowned, shaking off the arm. "That** _**lameoid** _ **is my best friend!" He then looked a little guilty. "That didn't come out right…"**

"Nah, he said it perfectly."

"Knux, it's kinda ironic that the hermit who looks over a rock by himself in the middle of a deserted island is calling the speed demon who races around and saves the day on multiple occasions from a determine robo-scientist _lame_."

"You failed to mention that I'm on a _floating_ island protecting the single item that controls the Chaos emeralds which can manipulate _time_ and _space._ "

"Details, schmetails."

" **Swifty,** _ **you're**_ **the lameoid." Amy spoke up. "You're one thousand times the lameoid that Sonic is!"**

"You tell him, sister!" Amy exclaimed. "No one not in our group of friends can wrongly insult Sonic and get away with it!" She didn't care about the romance any more – okay, maybe a little bit – she just wished that a certain hammer made its appearance to knock some sense into that shrew.

**The insult went over the shrew's head. "But look at my flashy threads and fly shades!"**

**Knuckles smiled. "Yeah! Look at his flashy threads and fly shades!"**

_It's okay. It's okay,_ Knuckles thought to himself, taking deep breaths.

" **Knuckles!" Amy chastised before regarding Swifty, gesturing to the door, "Swifty, get out!"**

**The shrew wasn't affected, simply pulling out his skateboard. "So long, losers!" He stood on it and mock-saluted. "Swifty out!" He exited through the door Tails was holding open for him, the kit closing it a second after Swifty was gone.**

"About time!" Amy huffed.

"This just proves that he's working for Eggman or something similar…" Tails concluded, playing with his namesakes. "He doesn't care about making friends at all."

Sonic wasn't worried. "Well, whatever plan they have is gonna be blown to smithereens! No one has beaten a Sonic!"

Shadow scoffed.

"We've tied before, Shads, but you've never beaten me!"

"Sure, Faker."

"Never!"

**There was a scene change, and now everyone was in the center of the village. Sonic, Swifty, and Mayor Fink were standing at the starting line, most of the villagers were on the sidelines cheering Swifty on, and the small hero group were awkwardly cheering for Sonic.**

Sonic frowned. "Well, their loyalties aren't the strongest." They were cheering for a guy they hadn't known for a day, over their hero? That wasn't backwards at all.

Eggman rolled his eyes. "Don't act like this is new to you, cactus. You've had the population turn on you before." Being mistaken for a law breaking striped hedgehog wasn't exactly forgettable.

"It was for a good reason!"

Shadow glanced at the azure hedgehog. He was the one Sonic was mistaken _for_ , and he still believed that the general public was stupid. "I don't think being blind is a 'good' reason, Faker."

"Well, compared to what we're seeing in the show, it is!"

**Fink began to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the race of a lifetime! The winner will have the right to brag whenever and where he wants! The loser will, um…let's see now…" He flipped through the book he was holding. "…uh, be banished from the village forever!"**

**Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks all stared in shock.**

"Weren't…Weren't they there in the workshop when Swifty said it before?" Knuckles was more than a little confused. "Why are they all surprised?"

"They may have believed that the mayor would not agree with such terms," Metal replied. "Considering how the villagers are almost constantly in 'danger' and how dependent they are on my copy's copy and his friends."

Eggman heard the quotations in Metal's voice, and he couldn't blame him. A town with a good enough police force alone would be able to somewhat protect themselves from the other Eggman.

**The Mayor glanced between the competitors before walking over to the sidelines. "That seems a little harsh, but uh, rules are rules!"**

"What kind of rules are those, though?!" Tails was convinced that they made them up on the spot, for whatever reason.

Sonic wasn't going to get worked up. "Don't worry about it, lil bro! None of it matters because Swifty definitely isn't gonna win."

"Yeah!" Amy and Tails cheered.

Knuckles just shook his head. "Famous last words…" He didn't know how this was going to wrong, but it just was. They weren't at the end of the episode yet.

**Swifty showed off his skateboard, and the villagers cheered. He gave them a cheery thumbs up.**

**Out of the way, Fink held up a starting gun. "Racers, on your marks, get set-" He glanced at his open book again. "-go!"**

**The two racers sped off, Sonic on his feet and Swifty darting on his board. It didn't take long for Sonic to overpower the other in the village –** Sonic smirked because that was obvious – **however, Sonic blinked and suddenly Swifty was ahead of him, taunting with a peace sign.**

The blue hero gaped. "What the what?"

Tails was in the same condition. "He was _just_ behind Sonic! How in the world did he do that?"

"It's like he…" Amy gasped, looking over at Shadow. "It's like he teleported!"

Shadow's brow furrowed. That didn't make any sense. They hadn't seen a hint of a Chaos emerald _anywhere_ in the show, and he'd honestly would be pissed if some random would be the first to perform it. "It's probably not Chaos Control. It's some other trick."

"Either way, he's cheating!" Sonic crossed his arms with a huff. "What's the point of racing if it's not going to be fun and sportsmanlike?"

"If he knew that he was going to lose without doing so," Eggman uttered, the possibility of Swifty working for his double growing.

Sonic grumbled to himself, hoping that the other Sonic won anyway just to rub it in the other's face.

**Sonic gaped. "How the…?" He didn't finish his question, instead gritting his teeth and speeding past Swifty once more.**

**Back at the starting line, Sticks was worried. "What if Sonic doesn't win?"**

" **He'll win!" Tails said surely. "Nobody's faster than Sonic!"**

"Tell it like it is, Tails!" Sonic praised.

**Sonic had regained first place, boosting far ahead of his opponent. He glanced back over his shoulder as he turned a corner between buildings, but like last time, Swifty was ahead of him when he faced forward again.**

Metal tilted his head. "If it is not Chaos Control, then the shrew must have numerous siblings."

Knuckles winced. "Please _no._ One of him was bad enough."

" **Radical speed!" Swifty lifted his shades and finger-gunned at the azure speedster.**

" **Radical** _ **shut your pie hole!**_ **" Sonic gritted out as he shot ahead again, not wanting to lose this race.**

"I would've said some other choice words."

"We all know you would, Shads."

**It wasn't long before the finish line was in sight, and Sonic crossed it. He laughed, cheering. Calming down some, Sonic stated, "Okay, I won!"**

**He looked over to his friends, who all had sad expressions on their faces.**

"They can't honestly believe that Swifty won fair and square, right?!" Amy wouldn't have believed it even if she'd been the one _beating_ Sonic.

Tails wrung his fingers together. "It really doesn't matter what his friends think though…"

**Sonic's victory smile hadn't waned. "This is the part where everyone cheers!"**

**There was cheering alright, but not from his friends. The villagers were celebrating** _ **Swifty's**_ **win, tossing him up and down in the air. Sonic's chin was scraping the ground when the shrew was deposited in front of the Mayor, a smoothie in his hand.**

**Fink put a lei around Swifty's neck as he sipped his drink. "Radical smoothie!"**

"He doesn't deserve that smoothie, that cheating little…"

Knuckles disregarded Sonic's angry grumbles. "Anyone else wanting to pour that smoothie on his head?"

Multiple hands shot up.

" **He won?!" Sonic shouted in disbelief. "With time to get a smoothie?" He whirled around to ask the rest of his group, "But…how? I passed him! I saw it!" Sonic crossed his arms, eyes narrowing. "Something smells fishy about this race."**

**Down at Sonic's feet, there was a fish in a tuxedo sitting in a bowl. "I told you, I have irritable bowl syndrome!"**

Despite everything, Sonic still managed to laugh. "Whoa, wait! Isn't that the fish from uh…that episode where Sticks had that fancy party?"

"We've seen him before?" Amy asked, not placing the fish or the joke. "I haven't!"

Knuckles sharply glimpsed over at Shadow. "That's probably because we were all too busy recovering from Shadow's air horn attack."

"Oh yeah!" Amy remembered the pain and the temporary deafness. She glared at the striped hedgehog, who seemed to be pointedly ignoring what they were talking about. "We have to get you back for that!"

"If you try, then I will administer a heavy anesthetic with my fists."

**Swifty zipped over to Sonic, clearing his throat. "Ahem! I think it's time for someone to be all banished, yo!"**

**The hedgehog scowled at him while Tails, Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks looked on sadly.**

Tails was baffled. "They're seriously not going to do anything?"

"Like I said before," Eggman started. "Completely incompetent."

**The Mayor was reading from his book again. "Sonic the Hedgehog, in accordance with town bylaw 77415, subsection B, paragraph nine…" He held up his right hand. "I hearby declare you uh, banished!"**

**Suddenly, there was a gavel in his hand, and a smiling Dave sidled up to Fink, holding a sound block. Fink pounded it, and the intern slid away.**

"Of _course_ he would be here!" Amy complained. "Dave probably has something to do with Swifty winning!"

**The group of heroes on the sidelines watched silently as Sonic was led away by two police officers.**

Tails wasn't happy about any of this. "I would've gone with him!"

"I would've torn that ridiculous book in half," Knuckles said.

"I would've went after those cops!"

"Ames, you can't really attack-"

"Look at them! They wouldn't – _couldn't_ – have done anything!"

"…True, but still."

**The cops eventually guided Sonic to a red dotted line outside of the village. Sonic gloomily walked over the line as they stood guard.**

**Sonic then grinned a bit too widely at the officers before sticking his foot out over the line.**

" **No," one of them – a beaver – said unyieldingly.**

"So how much all of you want to bet that the villagers are going to need Sonic back in the village _real_ soon?"

Metal shook his head. "There is no reason to bet, guardian. It is nearly certain that the villagers are being idiots and will require help in some fashion."

**Sonic shifted his weight and attempted with his other foot.**

" **No."**

**Sonic slumped and walk off…before coming right back and sticking his foot out again.**

" **No."**

**The blue hedgehog actually gave up this time, huffing as he folded his arms across his chest.**

"I would've ran past them!" Sonic waved his hands in the air. "I respect cops and all-" Most of the time. "-but being banished over a race? Seriously?!"

**Back at the village, Swifty was signing pictures as the rest of the heroes were still dealing with Sonic's loss.**

**Amy voice was soft. "I can't accept that Sonic is gone!"**

"Then don't!" Amy loudly advised. "Go get him!"

" **But Sonic** _ **is**_ **gone!" There was boisterous laughter, and they all turned to see Eggman floating over in his hovercraft.**

Eggman sighed. "And there he is. It's about time." He almost got his hopes up.

Amy was going to comment on that fact that yeah, Swifty was _definitely_ working with Eggman, but what the doctor rode in on caught her attention. "Didn't his hovercraft just burn up in a pit of lava last episode? How many of those does he _have?_ "

"We don't know the actual time frame between each episode," Tails provided. "And plus, building stuff is kinda his thing…"

**The man released a few more malicious chuckles. "You all fell victim of the charms of my greatest robot yet!"**

Eggman didn't know how to feel about that bit of information. His double had _willingly_ created a robot so obnoxious that it put the cactus himself to shame, and- "Either he hasn't built Metal yet, or he's absolutely a toaster."

Sonic began to laugh, and Knuckles snorted. "I know we started it as a joke, but at this point, I fully expect Metal to be making toast when he finally shows up."

Metal's eyes flashed. "Honestly, I do not care how I show up in this show anymore. I simply want to _see_ myself and prove that my being here wasn't completely pointless."

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Shadow heavily sighed, stifling a yawn."

Sonic reined himself back in. "Oh c'mon, Mets! Even if you don't show up, you've grown! You're not a blood-thirsty bot anymore, and you're our friend!"

"Friendship as not been decided yet."

Tails chuckled when Sonic rolled his eyes. "Just give him time! He'll come around," the kit advised before refocusing on the show. "So, Metal was kinda right earlier! Swifty didn't have siblings, but since he's a robot, he could have multiple copies!"

Amy's expression twisted up in disgust. "Oh my gosh! That means that the other Amy almost fell for a _robot?_ Maybe she and the other Sonic aren't actually dating, because she wouldn't be as love-starved if they were!"

Sonic secretly crossed his fingers.

" **A robot?" Amy dubiously asked.**

" **Well, more like an army of robots!" Eggman pressed a button in his Eggmobile, and multiple clones of Swifty repeating 'Radical speed!' appeared next to the original.**

They all resisted the urge to cover their ears.

**Tails gasped. "Sonic** _**didn't** _ **lose the race! There were just multiple Swifties all along the track! I call shenanigans!"**

" **It's too late for shenanigans!" Eggman opposed. "Now, without your precious hedgehog hero to stop me, I can fulfill my lifelong evil dream!"**

"I still don't get why that Eggman seems to forget that Sonic isn't the only one with the abilities to curb stomp him," Knuckles pointed out.

"Because others never do." Shadow grunted.

"…Right."

**Eggman held up both of his arms, lightning flashing and thunder booming in the distance. "Building my own theme park!"**

Tails opened and closed his mouth before getting out, "In…that village though? Don't get me wrong, it uh…has its _quirks_ , but a theme park? Really?"

"At least have it in outer space or something!" Sonic suggested because that whole adventure was a hoot and a half.

Eggman couldn't even blame his double. His sights were small, so his schemes were be on the smaller scale as well. "Everyone has to start somewhere." Even doctors with supposedly high IQ who _shouldn't_ just target a village with a population of twenty.

**The heroes just blinked at him.**

**Amy cradled her chin. "That doesn't sound very evil…"**

" **It might even create some new jobs," Knuckles uttered.**

"Huh." Knuckles was pleasantly surprised. "That's probably the smartest thing I've heard him say."

" **Silence!" Eggman yelled. "In my theme park empire, your entire village will be forced to wait in long lines, buy overpriced merch, and eat week-old turkey legs covered in…" He dramatically paused. "…** _ **preservatives!**_ **"**

**The villagers screamed in horror.**

Eggman held his head in his hands. Yes, everyone needed to start somewhere, but his twin was starting off in the complete _wrong_ way.

"Does he not realize that people can just move away?" Amy asked, genuinely confused.

Sonic barely managed to speak over his chuckles. "Or, y'know, that my twin won't let a stupid red dotted line keep me from letting him sell evil turkey?" He wiped away an imaginary tear. "Eggy, I need you to pull stunts like this so I can have a good laugh!"

"Only in your dreams, pincushion."

**Eggman put up a finger. "And remember, it all started with a shrew!" He smiled as he placed a hat of himself on his head. Then, Swifty and all of his clones put up a statue of Eggman and Swifty holding hands, the human's unoccupied hand waving.**

**People started to run away screaming as Swifty clones burst into houses and tossed the furniture out of them.**

**Tails looked on in anger. "We need Sonic!"**

"No, you don't," Knuckles huffed.

**Outside the village, Sonic subtly slid his foot near the dotted line. The two officers shook their heads at him.**

"What's their plan there?" Tails questioned, curious. "Are the cops just going to stand there forever? Take shifts? Does the village even _have_ enough officers to do that?"

"It does not matter," Metal answered. "For there are two minutes left until the episode ends. I'm sure the officers will become irrelevant in approximately thirty seconds."

**With the heroes once more, they anxiously watched as the Swifties began to build the theme park.**

**Amy frowned, harshly addressing the Mayor. "Get Sonic back!"**

" **Well, it's not that simple!" Fink retorted. "Uh, he's been banished!"**

" **Then** _ **unbanish**_ **him!" Tails exclaimed.**

Amy _guessed_ this was better than just standing around. "Smashing the robots would've been best, but yelling at the mayor is good too."

**Fink shook his head. "I can't just unbanish someone! Unbanishing requires an assembly of the village council!"**

"But _bashing_ him didn't?" Sonic didn't fully understand politics, but even he could tell something was wrong. "Because _that's_ fair and just!" His sarcasm was palpable.

" **Then** _ **assemble**_ **them," Amy ordered, exasperated.**

**Fink thought for a moment. "I suppose I could do that…" He ambled over to a group of villagers, opening his book. "I hearby call to order the unbanishing proceeding. Okay, let's see, huh, 'Hedgehog', comma, 'Sonic'. Middle name, 'The'." After flipping a couple of pages, Fink asked, "Now, where oh where is his 10-87-Q1B form?"**

" **Just** _ **do it already!"**_ **Amy snapped at him.**

Amy grinned at that. Yelling did wonders.

**Rattled, the Mayor immediately rushed, "All in favor of unbanishing Sonic so that he can save our lives, say 'Aye'!"**

" **Aye!" most of the members shout.**

" **All opposed?"**

" **Nay!" Dave was the only one against the idea.**

"The person who activated a doomsday device and nearly wiped that dimension from existence is on the village council." Shadow didn't have the energy to question things anymore. "I'm surprised that the village hadn't imploded on itself yet."

**Fink nodded. "I hearby declare Sonic unbanished!"**

**Outside the village, one of the cop's walkie talkie beeped on, Fink's voice coming through. "We've unbanished Sonic!"**

**The beaver jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "Go ahead."**

Metal's approximation had been a bit off – it being closer to a minute than thirty seconds – but he still got his point across. Banishing his copy's copy was meaningless.

**Sonic perked up and instantly sped off. At the village, he zoomed by Leroy the Turtle at a DJ Station, the reptile giving the hero a thumbs up.**

No one asked questions, for they knew they wouldn't get any answers.

**Sonic didn't waste any time in destroying each Swifty in one hit, each saying, "Unradicial," before being trashed.**

"They went down in one hit? So the others were just standing around for no reason!" Knuckles wanted to punch something, but there was nothing around except for Metal and air. He didn't dare risk harming the bot and depleting the _thing's_ mercy.

Amy was disappointed. "It would've been better if each one had taken at least _two_ hits!"

Eggman believed that both sides of the 'fight' were lacking here. His double wasn't prepared – again – and the heroes…they were bad, but a little less bad than the doctor. Everything was just terrible.

**The rest of the heroes smiled as the last Swifty's sparking head landed by them. Sonic grinned when Knuckles – and some villagers – went to pull the statue down with ropes. Everyone cheered when it toppled over.**

" **My theme park!" Eggman cried out in anguish, floating down to the defaced stone. "I was gonna make a killing off that merch!"**

"Sure, Egghead, sure." Sonic snickered. "Because _everyone_ was gonna buy hats and shirts with his ugly face on it."

Eggman was going to ignore that indirect taunt because they were almost at the end of the episode, and he didn't want to prolong it any longer.

**In a ball, Sonic bounced off the statue and landed right into Eggman's hovercraft. He pulled on a couple levers and hopped out as the Eggmobile flew crazily upwards with Eggman yelling.**

**Sonic waved up at him with a smirk. "Catch you later, Eggface!"**

**The villagers cheered, and the speedster faced him. "I did it! I have a catchphrase! Ahem." He repeated the same phase slower with more snark. "Catch you** _**later** _ **, Eggface!"**

Sonic an exasperated hand down his face. "We're back to this?!"

"It's both adorable and concerning that he's trying so hard…" Amy muttered.

**The villagers laughed, but it wasn't as enthused as before.**

**Sonic blinked before finger-gunning at them. "Ha! Catch ya…** _**later…** _ **Eggface!"**

**The villager only mumbled, unamused.**

**The Mayor coughed as Sonic slumped. "Let's not kill it, son."**

Knuckles shook his head. "Nah, it's already been shot, ran over, and burnt to ashes. It's dead and gone."

"Like this episode." Shadow didn't want anymore interruptions. They just needed to _go._ "Let's hurry up and start the next one so we can leave."

Amy nodded. "Yeah! Maybe the next episode will have some kind of couple interactions in it since this one sorta set it up!"

"I wouldn't count on it, Amy…" Tails said. They've gotten this far, and nothing really had been set in stone yet.

"Let me dream, Tails!" She weakly glared at the kit as the number thirteen appeared on the TV screen. It then melted away, showing the name of the next episode.

Knuckles deadpanned as he read it. "'Mayor Knuckles'. Great."

Shadow propped his cheek in his palm. "Well, it looks like the village is actually going to implode. I look forward to seeing that."

"And I look forward to see my twin _somehow_ meddle in the insanity that will happen," Eggman grumpily muttered.

"At least you will see yourself," Metal uttered. "There is a slim chance that I will."

Sonic chuckled, interested to how this would go. "But we can all agree that it'll be fun to watch, right?"

"Uh…in a way, maybe?" Tails ventured.

Knuckles wasn't as enthusiastic. "I'd rather rewatch this one."

"No you _wouldn't._ " Shadow nearly snapped at him, eye twitching.

"No I wouldn't." Knuckles didn't feel like being attacked. "Sorry about the reminder."

"Don't do it again."

"Right."


	22. Chapter 22

Knuckles knew that he should be giving his double a chance, but he couldn't recall a moment where he had been more unenthused than right now. "Can we just ask _it_ to switch out another episode for this one?" 'Mayor' and 'Knuckles' should not be put together in a sentence, especially in that other dimension.

"What, only to be given something worse?" Eggman crisply retorted. "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't."

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "First off, there's nothing worse than my twin governing a whole _village_ - _"_

"Yep. You just jinxed us, Knux."

He ignored Sonic. "-and there's only _one_ demon here! The episodes themselves are just toys to drive us mad with!" He vaguely gestured to Shadow. "And it's working!"

Shadow didn't have it in him to argue.

"Calm down, Knuckles!" Amy advised. "I know that talking about your double is a sensitive topic for you, but don't make _it_ mad! I have a bad feeling that looping isn't the worst thing it can do…" For example, the thing could have everyone constantly tickled. She wouldn't last long at all.

Knuckles huffed but didn't reply. She was right; they were here for the _thing's_ entertainment. At any second, it could be like _oh, they don't need any heat_ and suddenly hypothermia.

However, his twin was _illiterate_ for crying out loud. He had been trying to be more tolerant of his double, but come _on_.

"I, for one, do not mind seeing the village destroy itself."

"I wouldn't either." Shadow agreed with Metal. He had to search for small victories in this hellhole.

Tails pursed his lips. "Can't we just give him a little faith?"

Everyone gave him a level look.

He sighed, wondering if he could get through to them anytime soon. "It's a reasonable question!"

"Let's just get this over with," Eggman muttered. They were creeping closer to the finish, and his patience was already in the negatives.

**The scene began at a new location, it being a mansion-esque building seemingly in the middle of the village.**

**Inside, Mayor Fink was sitting at his desk, stamping papers.**

"It just throws us right in there, huh?" Sonic smirked over at Knuckles. "Guess we have a whole eleven minutes of your twin behind that desk, Knux!"

"I _really_ hope we see a Sonic and Amy date so you could shut up."

Amy perked up at the reminder, and Sonic slumped. "You couldn't have kept that to yourself?"

"Nope."

" **Habeas corpus…" He stamped the paper and placed it aside. "Due process…" He stamped the paper and unconsciously stamped the desk. "Oops." He glanced at another bill. "Authorization to clean desk." Stamp.**

Tails' confidence in the other Knuckles doing marginally well decreased seeing this. "If the mayor himself is this flustered by the job, oh boy…"

**There was a cough, and Fink looked up from his work to see a beaver with a fishing pole walking in. "Ready for the fishing trip, old bean?"**

**The mayor shook his head. "Oh, no no no. Too much approving to do! The town bylaws won't stamp themselves!" He grabbed another paper, "Self-Stamping Prohibition Act," and stamped it. "See? If only there was someone to cover for me…" He sighed.**

"Wait…" Tails didn't understand. "But…didn't he just contradict-"

"Yep." Sonic linked his fingers behind his head, trying not to think too hard about the ins and out of government tactics…or the lack thereof. "Maybe…he doesn't want too much power or somethin'?"

"It's just getting himself a stamping machine!"

**There was a pause as the open door to the office was shown.**

"…What?" Amy blinked. "Is something supposed to be happening here?"

Knuckled frowned, regretting not keeping his damn mouth shut earlier. "Is it frozen?"

If it was, Shadow was going to raise hell.

**Fink stood up and emphasized, "I** _**say** _ **, if only there was someone to cover for me."**

The room collectively sighed in relief because that was the _last_ thing they needed.

**The was another silence as the pair stared at the open door, nothing happening for a few more seconds.**

"So if the _thing_ isn't playing a twisted and unfair trick on us…" Amy tapped her chin, befuddled. "Then what _exactly_ is happening?!"

Eggman didn't have a clue either, but he wasn't as passionate about getting an answer. He shrugged. "Don't question it, rodent. It's a few peaceful seconds filled with nothing. Be grateful."

He did have a point, but she still was confused.

" **So we can get this story started?!" Fink yelled in exasperation.**

" **This is an outrage!" Knuckles suddenly marched into the room, holding out a piece of paper. "A travesty! A plookypluck!"**

Knuckles exhaled harshly. _Remember your happy place._ "Ignoring…everything he just said, can someone tell me what happened there?"

Metal glanced at him. "Is it not obvious? Your copy had been waiting outside until the situation became dire enough for his rather obnoxious appearance."

Sonic waved the robot off. "Yeah, that's the boring – and honestly most likely – situation, but didn't you hear what the mayor said? Get this 'story' started? That's a little weird."

Gears were turning in Tails' mind. "Like he was calling this episode a story? But that doesn't make any sense, at least from his perspective…"

"Let's just call it a stupid mannerism and move on." Shadow interrupted because they were thinking way too long about this.

**Fink frowned in confusion. "A plookypluck?"**

" **I made that last one up," Knuckles said as he approached.**

"As expected," Metal uttered.

" **Rule of** _ **threes**_ **, Your Majesty! Anyway, I'd like this important law passed."**

**Knuckles handed the document over to the beaver, who cleared his throat and read, "Henceforth, peanut butter and pickles shall never be packaged in separate containers, as they inevitably wind up in the same sandwich."**

Amy's stomach twisted at the sight, the taste, the _texture._ "I'm gonna throw up." She bent over and dry heaved. "Sonic, don't look at me during my weakest moment!"

Sonic just wanted to be out of the splash zone, along with everyone else. "Hold it in, Ames! You can do it!" he cheered even though he felt a bit queasy himself. Pickles and peanut butter should never be found on the same plate, nevermind the same _container._

"Keep your fluids inside," Metal commented. "I have already taken one shower today."

Tails was torn between not hurting the pinkette's feelings and scooting his chair to put as much distance as he could between him and her. Nothing was coming up, so he was safe at the moment.

Keeping a wheezing Amy in his periphery, the kit asked, "Isn't Knuckles illiterate though? Who wrote that?"

Knuckles thought about it. "Sticks, or…Sticks."

**Fink blinked before uttering, "I can help you with this, but in exchange, I'll need something from you. Are you prepared to do your civic duty?"**

"Is he really letting someone who puts peanut butter and pickles on the same sandwich be in charge of the whole _village?_ " Knuckles was probably sure that the mayor wasn't actually going to do it, but the doubt was still _there_ because of how this dimension was.

"This entire place is insane!" Amy sputtered out, regaining control of her angry stomach.

Shadow snorted. "Like I said, the village is going to implode."

**Knuckles snickered.**

Eggman rolled his eyes. "So immature."

" **You said** _ **civic."**_

"And unpredictably idiotic."

Sonic chortled. "Yeah, I would've said childish jokes are sometimes okay, but then he just killed it."

" **Yes." Fink didn't even try to entertain the other. "Citizen Knuckles, I need you to stamp these laws with the mayoral seal between now and, say, five-thirty, when the fish stop biting."**

**Knuckles didn't hesitate. "I'm in!"**

Knuckles sighed. "I mean, he could have stepped outside and picked literally _anyone_ else to do the job."

Tails rose a brow. "Even Dave?"

"Okay, maybe not literally."

**Sometime later, the echidna was sitting behind the mayor's desk, rapidly stamping bills until a cat came in and demanded, "Who's in charge here?"**

**Knuckles glanced around for a moment before smiling. "I guess I am!"**

Amy was slightly concerned now. "But…don't the villagers know Knuckles? They shouldn't trust him to make decisions a four-year-old couldn't make."

"Yeah." Knuckles grunted. "They _shouldn't_ , but here we are _._ "

**The cat slammed a document on the desk.**

**Sticks' burrow was shown with the badger sleeping soundly inside. However, the peace didn't last for long, for a loud noise surprised her and knocked her to the ground. She angrily grumbled when she got up.**

"She _definitely_ has Shadow in her."

Shadow growled at Sonic while Knuckles scoffed. " _Everyone_ gets angry if they're sleep is interrupted."

"I don't!"

"Really? Remember that time I poured water on you-"

"I was mad because I was _choking_ , Knux, not because you woke me up from a cat nap."

**Sticks stomped outside and saw the same cat from before using a jackhammer. "Hey! Hey!" She went over and knocked on the guy's helmet with her boomerang when her voice wasn't getting his attention. The cat noticed her and turned the jackhammer off. Sticks scowled. "What are you doing?"**

" **The mayor's office just approved construction of a new mall." He pulled out the stamped paper. "See?"**

**Sticks growled, snatching and crumpling it up.**

Knuckles blinked. "Huh, maybe she didn't write that insane law for my double." And this episode got a smidge better because he didn't have to worry about Sticks and the other him _both_ being annoying.

Amy wondered of Sticks was going to attack Knuckles when she found out what was going on. She'd done it before. "A mall would actually be a good idea! Just build it _miles_ away from Sticks."

**Back in the mansion, Knuckles was going back and forth between yelling "Next!" and stamping any document handed to him.**

**There was a long line at the desk, and a beaver with a red bowtie was up next.**

"Ugh, _he's_ back?" Knuckles groaned. Things have gone from bad to worse. "I thought we were done with him!"

Sonic chuckled. "Don't get your quills in a knot, Knux! He probably won't be around for too long."

" **With whom do I speak about adding a new wing to the library?"**

**Knuckles gestured to himself. "With me'm!"**

"Reason number twenty-five to get that beaver out of here," Knuckles grumbled.

**Knuckles grabbed a bill from the stack on the desk and stamped it. "Approved!" He handed the paper over. "By the way, I believe the proper pronunciation is 'libary'."**

Tails inwardly winced. "Anyone else feel like they just got slapped?"

A couple hands rose.

Knuckles was in the mood to slap.

**The beaver left, and a wolf in a nice suit and top hat stepped up. "I'd like approval for a parade through town to celebrate my half-birthday."**

" **Half-birthday approved!" Knuckles took the document and stamped it.**

**Lady Walrus was next, handing her bill over. "I think this village should have moving sidewalks."**

**Knuckles was reluctant. "I don't know…"**

" _That_ is what he hesitates on?!" Knuckles felt his blood pressure rising. "Sure let's throw a village-wide parade for some random, but Chaos _help_ us if moving sidewalks are installed."

Eggman crossed his arms. "I don't know why you're so surprised, guardian. He's attracted to all things childish and loud."

"But he approved a knew wing at the library!"

"A broken clock is right twice a day."

Knuckles huffed. "Stop talking like a damn fortune cookie."

**She persisted. "Do** _**you** _ **want to live in a world without moving sidewalks?"**

" **Excellent argument!" Knuckles exclaimed. "Approved!"**

Sonic imagined a world with moving sidewalks – everywhere, not just in random places Eggman decided to take over – and smirked. "Y'know, I'd be down for moving sidewalks. More speed for me!"

"Maybe then you would be able to match my ability."

"Mets, you'd be a whole lot happier once you get over this denial stage."

"I do not feel emotions, and false."

**Later, when the echidna was stamping randomly, Sonic strolled in.**

Knuckles wished that it had been Tails so he could fix this situation, but Sonic would have to do.

" **Hey, Knux." He greeted with a wave. Sonic rose a brow. "Uh, why are you in the mayor's office, stamping bills into law?"**

" **I'm doing my civic duty!" Knuckles deadpanned when Sonic snickered.**

Sonic stifled a chuckle and received a 'really' look from Amy. "What? It's kinda funny!"

" **Oh, grow up, Sonic." A second later however, the echidna broke, chuckling as well. "** _ **Civic."**_

Knuckles' happy place wasn't happy enough.

**Sticks then entered the office, a glare set in place. "Who's in charge here?"**

"Uh oh," Tails whispered because this might not end well.

" **I am!" Knuckles chirped. "And I'm doing a good job!" He picked up a pencil and scribbled on a blank piece of paper. He stamped and held it up, showing an impressive drawing of himself working with the documents. "See?"**

Amy gazed in awe. "That's amazing! If being a hero doesn't work out for him, he needs to be an artist!"

Tails couldn't argue. "I'd buy his art!"

Even though Knuckles didn't like this situation as a whole, even he had to admit his twin had skills. On a good day, Knuckles could _maybe_ draw a decent circle without any help.

**Sticks wasn't enthused. "You approved building a new mall…next to my burrow…" She punched the desk. "…** _**on my land?!** _ **"**

**Knuckles raised a placating hand. "Sticks, Sticks, Sticks! I approve lots of things next to lots of burrows on lots of peoples' lands! I can't keep track of all of 'em!"**

Shadow couldn't decide between being entertained or annoyed. It was 50-50. "I doubt that's true."

Sonic shrugged. "Heck, I'd say anything too to keep Sticks from attacking me. Wouldn't you?"

"I'd say it would be an even match," Knuckles said, giving Shadow a subtle look. "Whoever would pull the other's tooth out first would win."

Shadow's glare was filled with poison. "Didn't I _tell_ you-"

"Sorry. It slipped."

" **Your recklessness** **is** _ **destroying**_ **my** _ **home**_ **!" Sticks shouted in rage.**

Sonic glanced over to Eggman. "I could've used that line against you a million times by now, Eggy!"

The doctor couldn't oppose the 'destroying homes' because yes, he did that on a weekly basis, but being _reckless?_ His mustache flared. "When have I ever been _reckless_ , cactus?"

"How about all the times the things you've tried to control turned against you?"

Eggman slumped at that low blow. He _would_ get an evil force to listen to him someday, and they all would _perish._

**Knuckles wasn't affected. "Sticks, don't worry! You know someone on the** _**inside** _ **now! Just write up a proposition, and I'll ram it through!"**

Sonic barked out a laugh. "He's getting a little too good at his job! How well do you think he'd do in G.U.N., Shads?"

"He'd be institutionalized in a heartbeat."

**Sticks screams out in frustration. "Politics has corrupted you! I'm bringing you down, Knuckles! You-" She trained her glare on a surprised Sonic. "-** _**and** _ **your goons!"**

" **Me?" Sonic asked innocently. "What did I do?"**

Amy puffed out her cheeks. Yelling at Knuckles was one thing, but blaming blue hedgehogs was another. "Yeah! He didn't do anything wrong!"

**Sticks just growled and marched out of the office.**

**Eggman's lair was shown next.**

Eggman exhaled harshly. "Let me guess, he's going to somehow find out that the echidna's the mayor and stick his nose where it really doesn't belong." Why couldn't he just take a relaxing bubble bath, _not_ interacting with the heroes in any way?

Sonic scoffed. "So you're tellin' me that you wouldn't try anything if that situation happened here?"

"I would because I don't have the same track record as he does!"

"I'm pretty sure you both always lose, Eggy."

Eggman turned red in the face while Tails thought it over. "I mean, Eggman's twin does lose a lot worse than Eggman does…"

Sonic gave a pensive nod. "Yeah, I guess I can see that, but a loss is still a loss."

The doctor couldn't believe this. "Seriously, pincushion? So losing a race by a second versus a minute would feel the exact same?"

"Couldn't tell ya!" Sonic chirped, smirking. "Because I've never lost! I think Shads is a better candidate for your question."

The looks he got from Eggman and Shadow could've wilted flowers.

**Eggman, along with Orobt and Cubot, were outside standing by an overfilled dumpster. "The trash should have been picked up by now!" The doctor huffed. "Where's that garbage man?!"**

"Just call up the Lightning Bolt Society." Knuckles snorted. "I'm sure they'd take care of all of his trash."

"It's a real role reversal in this one!" Amy pointed out. "With Knuckles being the bad guy and Eggman being the victim-"

"Don't call him a victim just yet." Eggman kept his expectations low. "He's only said two lines."

**At the mansion, said garbage man was speaking to Knuckles. "I want to take a few months off. See the trash in other countries." The worker smiled. "Maybe get some fancy foreign coveralls."**

"Is he the _only_ trashman in the village or something?"

"Have you _seen_ how small the village is, Tails?" Knuckles asked before frowning. "And seeing him brings up on the topic of how he gets to Eggman's lair in the first place. It's on a secluded _island._ "

Sonic snickered. "Barker could've sold the hovercraft he stole from Egghead to him."

Knuckles furrowed a brow. "When did Barker steal a hovercraft?"

"Remember when Eggman went missing, Orbot and Cubot searching for him the whole episode?"

"…Vaguely, and I'm honestly glad that my brain had started repressing these traumatic memories."

**Knuckles shrugged. "What's the worst that could happen?" He sat there in a very long awkward silence, waiting for something to happen. It never did. Knuckles grinned. "See? No consequences!" He stamped the document.**

While Knuckles appreciated the glorious seconds of silence, he knew that it hadn't been nearly enough time to let fate do its thing.

**With Eggman again, he was still standing outside, complaining. "I can't keep looking at this stack of failed inventions!" He focused on his helper bots. "It's bad enough looking at you two!"**

" **Must every random observation circle back to insult us?" Orbot meekly questioned.**

Metal nodded. "Yes, it is one of the few things the doctor's copy has done right."

**Eggman waved him off. "It's not** _**you.** _ **I'm just frustrated about the trash situation, you idiots."**

**That was good enough for Cubot. "Appology accepted!"**

Tails didn't blame him for accepting. "That's probably the nicest thing Eggman's ever said to them."

" **That's it! I'm going to City Hall!" Eggman angrily walked off. "You lugnuts wait here."**

**The scene switched to Tails' shack.**

**Sticks was pacing inside while Sonic, Tails, and Amy sat on a couch. "We need to stop Knuckles and get the government out of our lives!" Sticks proposed. "What has the government ever done for us?"**

"Well, they honestly made my weekend a while ago with that high-speed chase through Central City."

Tails gave Sonic an odd look. "They were trying to imprison you."

"Doesn't mean that it wasn't _fun._ "

" **Maintained the fire department." Sonic brought up. "Can't say that's a bad idea." Tails and Amy nodded.**

**Some of Sticks' fire was snuffed out. "Oh yeah, that's true…"**

Amy giggled. "Maybe they can get Sticks from hating all forms of government so much!"

Knuckles wondered where she had pulled _that_ possibility out from. "There's a better chance of Shadow publicly declaring his love to all of the pineapples in the world."

"I dunno, pineapples are pretty good…"

"They are," Shadow uttered with no hesitation.

Knuckles groaned. "I was just _trying_ to say that it would be impossible."

"Then you should have said raisins." Shadow grunted. "Raisins are the scum of the earth."

" **There's also the sewer system," Tails helpfully added. Sonic and Amy nodded.**

**Sticks couldn't help but to agree. "Yeah, I definitely don't want that responsibility."**

**Amy contributed, "And have you tried those new moving sidewalks? Pretty sweet!"**

Sonic perked up. "They actually put those in?" Ideas were growing in his head. "Do you think we could persuade-"

And they were all shut down by the simultaneous "No" around the room.

**Sticks frowned, getting back on track. "You can make all the good arguments you want, but don't come crying to me when Knuckles gets his pudgy government fingers all over your lives!"**

Tails didn't think it was that serious. "She does realize that he's only behind the desk for a few hours, right?"

"A few hours is a long time, bud! Egghead had managed to break the world apart and release the primordial incarnation of darkness, scattering shadow beasts across the globe, in like fifteen minutes."

"I see your point…but Knuckles isn't Eggman."

"You're right." Eggman cut in. "He's an idiot with a stamp, which is far more dangerous."

**With Knuckles, he had another line in front of him.**

" **Next!" A goat woman approached the desk. "What'cha got?"**

" **Well…" She showed her document. "It's kind of a lo-o-o-ong list."**

**Knuckles took it and stamped without any thought. "No time to read the list. Approved!"**

If Knuckles had facepalmed any harder, he would have bruised. "He could've just signed away his life, and he doesn't even care."

" **Next?" He returned the paper to the lady as Eggman cut the line, pushing everyone out of the way.**

" **Hey, Nerples!"**

Sonic smiled at that, and Metal missed the feeling of laughter. "It is still mildly entertaining."

**Eggman frowned. "What's with the trash collection? You've got-"**

**Knuckles held up a quieting hand. "Sorry, Egghead. There's a lot of people waiting. You'll have to take a number." The dispenser was shown to be empty.**

**Eggman deadpanned. "It's out of numbers."**

" **You'll have to fill out a complaint form."**

" **Can I** _ **get**_ **one?" The doctor gritted out.**

**Knuckles smiled. "I'd love to help you!" He busied himself with reading a bill. "Take a number."**

**Eggman growled lowly before storming out.**

"…Wow." Amy blinked. "So Eggman is definitely one of the victims here! The poor guy just wants his trash taken care of!"

"And I'll give him props because he obviously cares about the environment!" Tails added, playing with his namesakes. "Anyone else would've just thrown the trash in the ocean."

**An old monkey stepped up in the human's place. "I have a request to shout 'woo-hoo' in a public place."**

" **Approved!"**

" **Woo-hoo!" the monkey howled before pleasantly sighing. "That was the highpoint of my life."**

Sonic could empathize.

**At Meh Burger, Sonic and Tails were sitting at a table, enjoying their burgers.**

"That really should be against the law," Amy groused.

**However, a nearby conversation by a tree caught their attention.**

" **Move it, pal," A purple walrus ordered Leroy the turtle. "I've got permission to build my treehouse here!"**

" **And I got permission to build my tunnel right here!" Leroy argued.**

**A loud bell interrupted their argument. A wolf rode in on a cart carrying lemons. "Out of the way! I've got a permit to build my lemonade factory here!"**

"A lemonade _factory?_ " Knuckles rose a brow. "That's new."

"And impractical," Metal added. "He does not have nearly enough lemons."

**Sonic put down his burger. "We'd better go sort this mess out." The brother duo raced off.**

**At the library, Amy approached the beaver with the bowtie, holding out a book. "I'd like to check this one out."**

"This scene is already not looking good."

Tails glanced over at Knuckles. "I don't know…I can't think of a way for the beaver to mess up things here."

**The beaver took the book away from her. "Impossible. Thanks to the Organized Bookshelf Act, it is now illegal to check out books."**

Knuckles gave Tails a look, and the fox fully accepted that he stood corrected.

**He cradled the book. "Finally, I have protection from people who think books are for reading and not just sitting neatly in a row on the shelf."**

**Amy rolled her eyes and groaned.**

Amy was gaping. "Really? I would've smacked him and _then_ Knuckles with my trusty hammer for that nonsense. The library would be shut down in a week!"

Sonic hummed to himself. "Maybe we're not givin' the other Knux the credit he deserves…"

"Seriously, Sonic? You would let the library close down like that?!"

"Aren't most of the books online anyway?"

"It's not the _same._ "

**The next scene was Eggman leaving the mayor's mansion, visibly irritated. Hearing yelling, he walked over to the distressed ice cream vendor. His cart was on fire. "My ice cream! Why?! Why did the village reverse its ban on flammable frozen treats?!"**

Tails frowned. "That's not the issue here! Why in the heck would you stock up with flammable frozen treats?"

"I didn't even know those were a thing!" Amy exclaimed.

**Eggman strolled on past him until he was stopped by a broken moveable sidewalk.**

**Lady Walrus, the one closest to him, cried out, "Help! It's not moving! It's stuck!"**

" **Just** _ **walk!**_ **" Eggman snapped. "Use your legs!"**

"That's funny, coming from the egg who clearly doesn't use his legs that often."

Eggman wasn't going to take the bait from that rancid cactus because he didn't have to prove _anything_ to them. He had a treadmill at the lab he used on the weekends. For five minutes. It was _something._

**The walrus held her nose up. "My taxes pay for moving sidewalks! No way I'm using my legs!"**

Amy didn't know what to think. "She…has a point?"

"A dumb one," Shadow grunted, hating that time moved so slowly. "But sure."

**Eggman just scowled before walking away, witnessing an argument between Leroy, the wolf, and a walrus along the way. Eggman had enough. "That red** _**imbecile** _ **has done more damage to this village in a few hours than I've done in** _**years** _ **with my ingenious, worthwhile, and well-executed plans! Nubbles must be stopped!"**

Sonic let out a disbelieving laugh. "He can't be serious! Like, are we seein' the same fights he is? Because I'm starting to doubt it."

Metal nodded. "We are. He simply becomes blind and ignorant to whenever he loses horribly."

Eggman waited for the inevitable insult, but it never came. He grew suspicious. "What, no jeering side-comment about my own actions?"

"I do not need to say it, because you already know. You probably have dozens swirling in your head at this very moment. My job is already done."

With the next robot Eggman made, he was going to ask himself if he _really_ needed it intelligent enough for coherent speech.

**Sonic and crew – who must've heard the doctor's spiel – gathered around him. The speedster sighed. "As much as I hate to say it, Eggman, we're with you. Now, we need a plan."**

"They didn't need to team up with Eggman though." Tails felt like he was missing something. But then again, that was a constant at this point. "They can beat Knuckles four-on-one easily!"

Knuckles could agree with that because in _this_ dimension – he wouldn't dare mention it out loud – he'd have enough trouble with Sonic and Amy tag-teaming him. Throw in Tails and a wild child like Sticks, and Knuckles would know that he'd be taking a loss. No question.

The echidna responded, "Maybe they don't want to hurt him?" For some reason. "That's all I got."

**Back in the office, Dave was punching the desk. "You've got to outlaw peanut butter and pickle sandwiches! If people realize they can get cheap, barely edible food outside of Meh Burger, I'm out of a job!"**

Now this was a fight Amy could get behind. "This is probably the only time I'll have his back on something."

**Knuckles wasn't sympathetic. "Look at you! You who were once so proud. Go now and never return!"**

Amy slumped, feeling sorry for the people who have to see peanut butter floating around in pickle juice, or pickle slices sliding around in the-

"I think I'm going to throw up again."

"Just face the door, Ames."

**Dave glared. "I see what's going on here! You're in the pocket of big peanut butter and pickles!" He gave the 'I'm watching you' gesture and ended up accidentally poking himself in the eyes. "Ow! Is there any chance you could stamp some sort of universal healthcare law?" he asked before stumbling away.**

"Universal healthcare?" Eggman repeated incredulously. "They barely can maintain a functional society, so that's out of the question."

Sonic snorted. "Especially when there's a rotten egg constantly plotting and attacking people."

**Sonic had arrived at this point, voice stern. "Okay, Knuckles. I order you to stand down. Lower the stamp and move away from the desk."**

**Knuckles held the stamp closer. "No."**

**Sonic shrugged. "Well, I'm out of ideas."**

While the rest of the room deadpanned at the lack of effort, Sonic couldn't contain his mirth. "At least he tried, right? It's better than nothin'!"

" **I'm not!" Eggman ambled in, about to activate the laser on his wrist.**

**Knuckles quickly wrote a law and stamped it. "It's now illegal to use your finger to activate a weapon!"**

**Eggman glowered and tried to activate the laser with his elbow only to shoot himself in the foot. "Ow!" He hopped on one leg. "Any chance I can get in on that universal healthcare?"**

"When has he _ever_ obeyed any laws?!" Eggman yelled in frustration because _what?_ "Especially some haphazardly placed by an imbecile of an echidna!"

"And can he even make laws by himself?" Amy questioned, looking at Tails. "Isn't there a process for that kind of stuff?"

"Yeah, but that obviously isn't in place here because Sonic had actually been _banished_ for losing a race."

"Right…that did happen."

**Team Sonic – sans Knuckles – got ready to fight, but Knuckles swiftly stamped consecutive laws. "No boomerangs, no hammers, no inventions, no spin attacks, no** _**mayonnaise!"** _

**Bowtie beaver, who was making a sandwich in the corner of the room, slumped in disappointment.**

Sonic snorted at the beaver's misfortune before turning as serious as one could yelling at his alternate dimension double because believe it or not, he could do _more_ than spin dash. "Just kick him one good time, other me! He'll be out for the count!"

" **Knuckles!" Amy slammed her hand on the desk. "You've gone mad with power!"**

"You're so close!" Amy groaned. "Punch him, tickle him, do something!"

Knuckles blinked. " _Tickle_ him?"

"What? He looks like the type to be ticklish, and that is a deadly weakness."

Sonic glanced over at her. "Are you ticklish, Ames?"

She got too excited. "Wanna find out?"

"No."

" **Oh really?" The echidna held up a document. "Well, would someone mad with power approve a law giving himself ultimate authority over everything?!"**

" **That's the dictionary** _ **definition**_ **of mad with power!" Sticks yelled, hoping to pound her words into his thick skull.**

Knuckles ran his hands down his face. "What is _happening_ anymore?"

"Endless torture and suffering," Shadow muttered. "Why hasn't anyone shot him yet?"

"Because shooting people is wrong, Shads."

"Not with a tranquilizer."

"...Pretty sure it still is."

**Unfortunately, it didn't work. "I wish I could corroborate that, but it's illegal to check books out of the libary."**

Tails winced again.

**Knuckles went to stamp the 'mad with power' bill, but nothing happened. "Huh?" The paper remained unstamped, and confusion flashed across his face.**

**Sticks was smug. "Nice try, Knuckles, but I'm afraid your stamp is out of ink!"**

Knuckles knew that he should be mad because of the dumb way his twin's reign ended, but at this point, he was willing to run with any miracle. "Finally! Now get him out of there!"

"There is still ample time left." Metal _had_ to remind them. "Something absurd is going to happen."

**Knuckles stamped the paper repeatedly with no luck. He threw the item away in frustration, and Eggman picked it up.**

" **Nice work!" Sonic praised. "Now, destroy the stamp." He reined in his enthusiasm when the doctor intensely examined the tool. "Eggman?"**

Knuckles slid down in his seat, hating that they weren't done yet. "The mayor just _had_ to go fishing."

"My twin's next big scheme should to just drain all nearby bodies of water," Eggman muttered so _this_ wouldn't have another chance of happening. A damn stamp should not ever hold that much imaginary power.

**After a second, Eggman grinned. "I afraid there's been a slight change of plans. With this stamp,** _**I** _ **now rule the village! First order of business: strip waste management of** _**all** _ **vacation time!" He evilly cackled.**

Tails leaned forward in his chair. "He's…He's still just trying to get his trash taken care of. He's not even attempting a full-scale attack!"

"Priorities, I guess?" Sonic ventured.

If Eggman knew anything about his double, it was that he was the most determined man he unfortunately had to meet.

**Knuckles scoffed. "Au contraire, mi amigo. Any change to waste management requires Form 48C-13."**

**Eggman glared. "And where do I find that?"**

**Knuckles gave him a level look, smirking. "You'll have to take a** _**number.** _ **"**

Amy was questioning everything at this point. "Is…Knuckles smarter than we think he is?"

"No." Metal immediately shut that down. "This episode is all over the place, so he seems tamer in comparison."

**Eggman growled and called in his robots using the contraption on his wrist. The mechs marched in, and the doctor yelled, "Find me that form!"**

**The robots began trashing the office, wildly searching for that specific document.**

Knuckles couldn't wait to see Fink's face when he returned from his _amazing_ fishing trip.

**Knuckles went on the attack, punching and kicking the two crab bots.**

**Seeing this, Sticks and Amy jumped in to fight, arming themselves, but Knuckles held his hand up. "I believe I outlawed those weapons."**

Amy huffed. "One day they should outlaw his fists and see how _he_ likes it."

Tails saw where she was coming from, but, "Do you really want to stoop to his level, Amy?"

"Absolutely."

**Sonic approached him, exasperated. "Knuckles, you've got to let us fight! Or else, Eggman's…" He lost his steam, thinking about what he was saying. "…trash will be collected in a timely fashion?"**

**Tails was confused. "Wait, why are we fighting this?"**

Tails held the same emotions as his twin. Eggman wasn't being truly evil in this one. Piled up trash could push anyone to extremes. "Yeah, why are they?"

Sonic shrugged. "Force of habit."

**Knuckles clenched a fist. "Because he picked my stamp up off the ground and seized absolute power!"**

"That sentence shouldn't be a thing."

"This whole _dimension_ shouldn't be a thing."

Knuckles nodded at Shadow. "That too."

**The echidna then rushed Eggman and the robot Orbot was manning. He punched the floor, sending out a shock wave that made the human and robots fly backwards. The robot hit the wall while Eggman somehow landed on his feet.**

Sonic lowly whistled. "I gotta admit, he might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's got a pretty good arm."

That was one characteristic Knuckles could appreciate. At least he was competent in battle, where brains didn't matter _as_ much.

**Eggman glowered until a crab bot waved a sheet of paper in front of him. "Aha! Now to get some ink! Where's my octopus bot?"**

**Outside, Cubot was steering said bot. "Right here, boss!" He parked the mech outside of one of the windows. A tentacle knocked a pane open, and a glob of ink splattered against Eggman's stamp.**

**Eggman laughed in victory.**

Amy shook her head. "I'm trying to sympathize with him because no one wants disgusting trash, but he's making it _really_ hard."

"Do not ever sympathize with him." Metal advised. "It's a waste of time and effort."

Amy – being constantly reminded that Metal clearly wasn't on Eggman's side anymore – had to sate her curiosity and ask, "So Metal, since you hate Eggman and had changed your purpose in life, what are you going to do after this?"

Metal tilted his head at her. "After this? Be more specific."

"I'm talking about after-"

Sonic jumped in because this opportunity was too good to pass up. "Isn't it obvious, Mets? I think she's askin' you out."

Amy flinched like she'd been hit because she would never and _ew_ , but she didn't get a chance to respond, Metal questioning, "Asking me out? She wants me to leave? I am certain that I will not be allowed to obtain more groceries."

Sonic scoffed. "Not even close, bud! It means a date."

"What is _going on?_ _!_ "

Amy was ignored.

Metal was giving Sonic his full attention now. "She wants to know the date?"

Sonic might have been wrong in thinking this would be fun. As smart as Metal was, he was still a _robot._ "No, not _the_ date! She's asking _for_ a date."

Amy, and the rest of the room, were now far too perplexed to interrupt, watching aptly.

"She wants me to provide a day? For what occasion?"

Sonic threw his hands in the air. "You gotta be pullin' my leg, Mets! It means that she wants to spend a _day_ with _you._ "

"A day is not a unit of currency. It is not physically possible to spend a day. You are utilizing less IQ points than usual, copy."

Well, Sonic learned today that Metal was unfortunately immune to some genres of teasing. Which was a shame, really. "Just nevermind, I give up!"

The bot produced a scoff, his gaze returning to the television. "It is about time that you did."

Sonic blinked before the other's words registered. He pointed an accusing finger, gaping. "You knew what I was talking about all along!"

"Of course I did."

While the blue blur huffed in his seat, not expecting to be humiliated like that in his own _home_ , Eggman cracked a grin. "I suddenly don't regret creating your existence, Metal."

Knuckles was snickering in his seat. "Now that was good."

"Keep that up, and I might not tear you apart when we get out of here," Shadow said with an amused smirk.

Amy hadn't been entertained at all; it was supposed to be a _simple_ question. "That's what you get, Sonic!"

Said hedgehog grumbled incomprehensibly.

Tails smiled reassuringly at him. "Lesson learned?"

Sonic grumbled louder.

**Sticks, not liking this at all, picked up a broken robot arm and hurled it in the doctor's direction. It hit the stamp, and the tool shattered on impact.**

Sticks just inched a little higher on Knuckles' favorite character list. There was still a huge gap between her and Amy, but it had gotten a little smaller.

**Eggman groaned. "Look what you've done! You've created** _**more** _ **trash that won't get hauled away!"**

**Any answer was cut off by Mayor Fink's voice. "Ah…it's always good to get away for a few hours." He jumped in shock at the condition of his office. "What the…?"**

"Yep, this is all your fault."

"I mean, he didn't know-"

Knuckles shook his head. "Don't make excuses for him, Tails. He had to have known."

**Knuckles smiled. "Sorry about the mess! But you know how it is being mayor, stamping everything that comes across your desk, regardless of its merits."**

**Sonic was clearly relieved. "You have** _**no** _ **idea how happy we are to see you, sir."**

"Completely ecstatic." Eggman claimed without actually looking so. "That means this episode is almost over."

**Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles started to walk out of the room while Fink, fuming, pulled out a drawer filled with extra stamps and grabbed one.**

"Wow," Tails breathed. "I'm surprised, but I really shouldn't be because having more than one stamp laying around is pretty normal."

Knuckles rotated his shoulders. "I'm just glad that they were hidden. There would have been a war that dragged the episode along at least another five minutes."

**Sticks gave him the 'I'm watching you' motion before leaving as well.**

**Eggman wasn't going to give up yet. "Any chance I can get my trash collected?"**

**Fink pointed to the still empty dispenser. "Take a number."**

**Eggman sighed in frustration.**

"Do not feel sympathy." Metal reminded the room. "You will most likely regret it by the next episode."

Eggman had to agree. His double being 'decent' usually didn't continue between videos. "I wouldn't doubt it."

Knuckles grinned over at a particular speedster who was still sulking. "Can't take what you dish out, Sonic?"

Sonic's glare was more like a pout. "I was just _trying-_ "

"And it backfired."

Sonic grumbled even louder.

Tails stifled his chuckles, knowing that Sonic would bounce back soon enough, while Shadow snorted, noting that humiliation was one way to shut the Faker up whenever needed.

Amy, letting Sonic brood in his chair for a bit, regarded the robot. "Back to what I was saying _before_ that craziness. Metal, what you are going to do after-"

"After what? Be more specific."

"Are you serious."


	23. Chapter 23

First Sonic, now Metal. If the azure speedster wasn't the love of Amy's life, and if beheading Metal put them all at risk of being trapped in this cage of a house forever, she would've gone to town with her hammer.

She huffed, glaring at the rude robot. "I try to be nice and get to know you outside of your inferiority complex, but you suddenly decide to grow a mean sense of humor!" Before Metal could argue that he wasn't inferior in any shape or form, Amy rounded on Sonic, who was failing at stifling his chuckles. "And I know you're laughing at what he said! You're supposed to be mad at him!"

Sonic smiled sheepishly as he raised his hands. "Nah, I'm not mad at him! I just didn't like that-"

"You embarrassed yourself in the most entertaining way possible." Knuckles finished his sentence with a satisfied grin.

Sonic slumped in his plastic chair. "Not exactly how I would've worded it, Knux, but sure."

Tails eyed Metal, the robot rigid at the call-out of his most obvious trait. "But wait, I actually want you to answer Amy's question, Metal. What's your future with Eggman?"

Metal looked at him. "I have no future with that oversized rotten egg."

Eggman pinched the bridge of his nose. He might take a little vacation after they were let out of here to recover his sanity. "Did you _have_ to?"

"Yes."

Amy stared at the blue mech in disbelief. "So you'd rather answer Tails than me? What did I even do?"

"Nothing," Metal answered. "I had calculated that avoiding your inquiry would result in you having a humorous response. You did. I would have laughed if I was alive."

There was a pregnant pause because apparently no one knew what to do with that information.

Amy's mind had to reboot before she could ask, "Can something be so innocent yet so annoying at the same time?"

"Tails is on less than five hours of sleep."

"What?" Tails' befuddled gaze landed on Sonic. "I'm not-"

"You do get a little cranky, bud."

Knuckles nodded. "I can vouch for that." He learned not to visit if Tails was in that state of mind because one wrong move, and someone's shoes would be superglued to the floor.

Eggman hummed in affirmation as well, and the kit's jaw dropped. "You think so too, Eggman?! But how-"

"You're more of a tactical risk taker when you're sleep deprived. It's aggravating." Eggman complained, crossing his arms. You'd think that taking away sleep would hinder the fox, but no, it simply increased his incentive to get the battle over with. "There's a reason most of my attacks are done during the day."

"Huh." Sonic smirked at the frowning doctor. "You learn new things every day! Hey Tails, why don't we try-"

Shadow knew where his train of thought was going and shut it down immediately. The kit didn't deserve what he was going through. "Don't. It's hell."

"Yeah…" Tails cherished sleep too much to voluntarily give it up. Plus, the risk of emotional instability was higher than what he would like. "I'll take Shadow's word for it."

Amy nodded while she twirled the TV remote between her fingers. "He does have the experience, and I do too! Being in his body was rough-"

"On _that_ note, you should play the damn show," Shadow nearly growled. He didn't want to be reminded of the worst fifteen minutes of his life.

Amy did without argument because she knew where he was coming from. She probably shouldn't remind everyone that she nearly soiled a couch.

**The scene started out in Tails' workshop.**

"Wait." Knuckles looked around. "Did anyone catch the title?" Hopefully it had nothing to do with his twin having any sort of government power, or being put in any position of authority.

"I think this episode is called 'Just a guy'," Tails provided after a moment of thought.

The echidna sighed. "It tells us exactly nothing. Great."

Sonic snickered. "Cheer up, Knux! The _thing_ wouldn't put two episodes in a row that-"

"It absolutely would."

**The kit was tinkering with a tool until the radar beside him began to blare. Startled, Tails looked at the screen, seeing that a red arrow was approaching.**

Eggman wasn't going to pretend to be surprised. "I wonder what robot will be thrown into the nearest dump this time."

"Keep that thought in mind whenever you decide attack us, Eggy." Sonic's smug aura was palpable.

The human's mustache flared, but he took a deep breath to keep his blood pressure down. "How many times do tell you that I'm _nothing_ like my double!"

Sonic waved him off. "It doesn't matter if you're the same or not. Even if you're better, us heroes are a hundred times more experienced than our twins. Haven't you been in enough battles to realize you're always on the losing side?"

Eggman glared. "One day, hedgehog, I'm going to catch you at your lowest, when you're least suspecting, and-"

"You guys hear somethin'?" Sonic cut him off with a question, relaxing in his seat.

Most of the Mobians shook their heads.

"I might have." Shadow drawled. "It sounded suspiciously like never-ending sorrow and defeat."

Hatred flowed through Eggman's veins like wildfire, but all he could do his tightly fist the over-sized tent he had for a shirt.

" **An incoming Eggman attack!" Determination shined in his eyes. "Better get the gang together." Tails pressed buttons on his communicator. "United Village Defenders of the Village, unite!"**

Amy slowly blinked. "Now that's a mouthful if I've ever heard one."

A crease formed in Tails' brow. "He really didn't need to say village twice…or at all. What happened to just Team Sonic?"

"Maybe they talked Sonic into changing the name?" Amy guessed.

"Pfft." Sonic scoffed. He wouldn't switch out Team Sonic for fifty chili dogs. Or maybe twenty-five. With fifty, he might think about it. "They definitely didn't talk him into changing it, especially to something like _that._ "

**The screen split, showing Amy. "On my way!"**

**Sticks appeared too. "Let's move!"**

**Sonic was smirking. "I'm on it!"**

**Lastly, Knuckles was shown, but he didn't look too enthused. "Eh…it's not really a good time for me. I kinda have plans."**

Knuckles felt the exasperation creeping up on him, but he squashed it for now. "To give him an ounce of credit, they don't even need him for the fight. It'd be overkill."

Sonic understood his logic, but, "Yeah probably, but fighting as a team boosts morale! It makes the certain victory even better when everyone's there to kick Eggface's butt!"

"Sonic, your positivity is too bright. Tone that down."

**Tails frowned in confusion. "Wait, what?"**

" **Seriously, Knuckles?" Sonic asked in exasperation before sprinting to where the echidna was. He ran up to Knuckles' table at Meh Burger. "What do you mean you have other** _ **plans?**_ **"**

Amy groaned. "Am I seriously going to have to accept that Meh Burger is like the go-to place in the village?"

"Makes me wonder why no other restaurant has set up camp." Tails pondered, tapping his chin. "They'd steal all of Meh Burger's business."

"Unless it's something like Meh Pizza," Amy said and instantly regretted. She and the kit instantly shuddered at its implication, both imagining the pickles and the peanut butter and- "Forget I said anything."

"Gladly," Tails whimpered.

**Knuckles gestured across the table. "I was gonna catch a movie with Mike."**

**Mike, an ox, raised a hand in greeting. "Hi, I'm Mike!"**

"Oh, look! He's making friends!" Sonic sent a teasing look Knuckles' way. "Well, I guess he is better than you at something, huh?"

The echidna scowled at him. "I have plenty of friends!"

"Uh huh. Name some that aren't in this room."

Knuckles smirked. "The Chaotix."

"Keep going."

"Mighty."

"I lump him with the Chaotix, but alright."

"Tikal."

"Eh."

"Eh? What do you mean _eh?_ "

"Just keep going."

The smirk marginally waned. "Blaze."

Sonic's grin split his face in half. "Are you friends with her, or just acquainted?"

Knuckles didn't bother to answer. "Silver."

"Same with him."

It was then that the echidna hesitated, and Sonic smiled like he was a cat that had caught the canary. He motioned 'go on', and Knuckles squared his shoulders. "Rouge."

Sonic was having too much fun with this. "Just friends? Could've fooled me."

The guardian's eye twitched. "What are you talking about? We are!" Knuckles ground out. "Hell, we're barely friends!"

"No one should get so flustered telling the truth," Metal butted in.

Knuckles whirled on him. "Stay out of our conversation!"

"It is hard to when you are yelling."

Sonic barked out a laugh. Time to tame the bull before he broke too much china. "Calm down, Knux! I was just teasing ya. You're better at making friends than your double, happy now?"

Knuckles grumbled as he pointedly ignored the blue hero.

Tails cocked his head. "Is that a yes?"

Sonic liked his hands behind his head. "As close as we're gonna get!"

**Sonic reluctantly waved at the new face. "Uh, yeah, hi." He turned back to Knuckles, insisting, "Seriously though, we gotta get moving. Eggman's attacking."**

**The echidna groaned. "But today is the last day of** _**Jungle Fighter 3: Revenge of the Jungle Fighter!** _ **"**

"Okay, but seriously, let him skip this fight," Amy said. This was almost as bad as the other Tails missing the pie festival. "I'm sure they'll have a hundred more Eggman fights!"

" _ **Jungle Fighter**_ **can wait," Mike advised. "It** _ **is**_ **important to battle Eggman."**

"I'm assuming that this character is 'just a guy'. They wouldn't waste their time introducing him otherwise." Shadow put together. This new person seemed to have a higher IQ than his company. "This episode might not be an absolute train wreck like the last one."

**Sonic perked up and addressed Knuckles, "Great! See?" He began to walk off, motioning for the other to follow. "Let's go!"**

**Mike smiled at the speedster. "So, where are we going?"**

Why did Shadow even try? "I take it back."

"Birds of a feather flock together," Eggman uttered. Of course the echidna would only attract like-minded individuals. Any other person would flee, fearing for their safety and sanity.

**That stopped Sonic in his tracks. "Oh, uh…I mean me and Knuckles."**

**Knuckles blinked at him. "Why can't he come?"**

" **Yeah, why can't I come?" Mike echoed.**

Tails frowned. "Has he not seen any of the Eggman fights?" This new guy clearly wasn't blind; if he was, he deserved an award for perfect acting. "There's fire, missiles, and lasers that could easily get him hurt!"

" **We can't bring you to a** _ **battle.**_ **I-" Sonic floundered a bit. "I mean, you're just a guy."**

**All of the mingling villagers at Meh Burger gasped.**

"Oh…" Sonic winced. "That's not good." He understood what his twin was saying. Putting Mike in the middle of a fight wasn't the best choice because of the lack of fighting experience, that was true. The double didn't mean anything mean by it, but Sonic's been in the public eye for far too long to learn to never say things like _that._

People would get testy.

"I do not comprehend," Metal started. "What did he do wrong?"

Tails wished the other Sonic the best of luck, because it honestly looked like it was going nowhere but downhill from here. "He technically didn't do anything wrong…He probably should've used different connotation."

Metal stared at the screen for a moment before stating, "It seems to me that the villagers are overwhelmingly sensitive."

Knuckles shrugged. "It's a mixture of both." This was why he stayed on his island most of the time, so he wouldn't have to deal with these kinds of situations.

**An old monkey with a hat and cane glared. "Just a** _**guy?!** _ **"**

**Sonic shook his hands innocently. "No! I-I didn't mean – what I meant to say was – he's not…" He gestured vaguely. "…you know."**

Amy felt _so_ bad. "That poor soul. He's trying his hardest."

"I would've walked away because how _they_ felt wouldn't be my problem."

The pinkette rolled her eyes. "That's because you don't care if people like you or not! The other Sonic clearly does!"

"Problem number one."

"Is this the sleep talking, or are you really this much of an uncaring misanthrope?"

"Yes."

**Crickets chirped as Mike waited patiently with the angry villagers behind him. No one said anything.**

**Knuckles cut in, disappointed. "I think you've said enough already."**

"He is the _last_ person to give an opinion on the situation!" Knuckles waved his arms in the air. "He is a _walking_ disappointment!"

"Nah, that's Eggman." Sonic jeeringly corrected, finding joy in how said human stiffened. "The other Knux has many redeeming qualities!" He tsked. "And aren't you supposed to be trying to accept your twin?"

" _Trying_ is the key word there," the echidna grumbled.

**Sonic sharply sighed. "Ugh, we don't have time for this!" He grabbed the echidna's arm and ran off with him in tow.**

**The scene morphed into a valley of a canyon. Amy, Tails, and Sticks were fighting Badniks while Eggman and his helper robots flew around in the Eggmobile.**

"Speaking of trying, he _isn't._ " Eggman didn't know if he wanted to slap the sense into his other self and maybe teach him on how to be successful – failures led to success, the doctor had heard that somewhere – or just tell him to retire and take up knitting. Or shuffleboard.

"Was this just a way to get rid of his extra robots?" Tails kicked his legs back and forth in his chair, wondering if he would seriously needed to buy a new couch himself. "Because he couldn't possibly think that he'd win with only Badniks."

**Sonic and Knuckles ran into the fray, the former spin dashing a crab bot. Knuckles, punching a motobug to smithereens, yelled out, "I can't believe that you said that to Mike!" He smashed another Badnik.**

Amy couldn't believe he was bringing it to the battlefield. "It's funny that he's bringing it up, but it didn't seem like Mike was bothered at all by it! Just the villagers!"

"Considering how Mike is 'just a guy', basically the plot of this episode, he was probably bothered by it," Knuckles responded.

" **What did he say?" Tails asked while smacking a robot with a wrench.**

**Eggman frowned at their conversation. "Uh, battle's over here, guys?"**

"Battle is a strong word." Eggman groused. "More like target practice."

" **He called my friend Mike 'just a** _ **guy'**_ **!" Knuckles scowled while pummeling yet another mech.**

**Amy and Sticks whirled around, gasping.**

**The pinkette flattened a bot with her hammer. "Sonic! How could you?!"**

Sonic didn't expect that reaction. "Whoa! They're actin' like he committed a murder or something!"

"Well, he might've killed his own publicity…" Tails muttered.

**Sonic slid to a stop, annoyed. "I didn't** _**mean** _ **that-"**

" **Yeah, Sonic," Eggman commented from his hovercraft. "That's a really crummy thing to say to a dude."**

"Coming from the man who threatens people on a daily basis!"

"Threatening and demeaning are totally different things, pincushion."

"But he does _both._ "

Eggman couldn't believe he was somewhat sticking up for his twin. "True, but the villagers expect it from him. What would make you feel worse: me telling you to jump off a cliff, or Tails telling you to?"

"…I see your point."

**Sonic growled in frustration before swiftly smashing all of the remaining robots.**

Amy wrung her fingers together. "He's getting upset…"

Knuckles scoffed. "I don't blame him."

**Eggman took his cue to leave. "Well, gotta go." He flew off with Orbot and Cubot shouting, "You know I'm right!"**

"Metal, what are the chances of my twin showing up again later?"

"95%."

"Wonderful."

**Sonic deadpanned as the doctor disappeared. Tails stepped up to his side, smiling. "Don't worry, Sonic! This will all blow over! By tomorrow, nobody would even remember what you said."**

Tails inwardly groaned. "He loves jinxing stuff, doesn't he?"

**There was a cut, and Soar the Eagle appeared on the screen.**

Knuckles gaped. "What? He's a _reporter_ now?"

Sonic snickered. "I guess being a motivator didn't quite work out for him. Either that, or his experience with Eggman caused him to switch careers altogether."

**The bird spoke into a microphone. "It's been twenty-four hours since Sonic the Hedgehog's infamous 'just a guy' comment shook the very foundation of our fair village. I'm here now with an angry mob."**

**He glanced to the side, and there was a crowd of villagers all yelling in anger.**

"You know nothing happens in the village when _that_ is the main headline." Amy grumbled. She hated seeing blue speedy hedgehogs go through stress. "Another meteor needs to threaten the town so they could forget about what Sonic said."

Sonic warily eyed her. "I don't think people need to be put in danger, but yeah, I get the gist of what you're sayin'."

**Soar gave the old monkey the microphone. "Sonic barged in and called Mike 'just a guy'! As if to say he was** _**so** _ **much better than the rest of us! And we begged him to stop, but he just kept berating the poor fella!"**

**A walrus in a hat was up next. He clenched a fist. "That Sonic, living it up on the beach! He's lost touch with the common man!"**

**Eggman then snatched the mic. "Can you believe that guy? I mean the** _ **nerve**_ **of some people!"**

Sonic was too astonished to note the absurdity of Eggman's presence. "Is everyone else kinda getting mad, or it is just me?"

"Not just you," Knuckles answered with the ghost of a frown.

"Definitely not just you," Tails piped up.

Surprisingly, Metal replied as well. "Those villagers are becoming annoying."

"I mean like-" Amy thrusted her hands at the screen. "Sonic only said a few words, and now the whole village hates him? After all that he's done?"

Eggman remained quiet, and while Shadow didn't say anything, he did believe that those people were being absolute idiots.

**Sonic was then shown at Meh Burger, peacefully ordering food. "Yeah, can I get a chili dog?"**

**Dave scratched his head, his tone mockingly sarcastic. "Oh, jeez, that sure does sound complicated. Can you really trust me that order?" A devious smile grew. "After all, I'm** _**just a guy.** _ **"**

**Sonic woefully groaned.**

"Okay, that deserved a punch."

"Knuckles!"

"Can't blame me for telling the truth, Tails."

**In Sonic's shack, the speedster was pacing in front of Knuckles, Tails, Sticks, and Amy as they sat at a table.**

" **All I did was call him a** _ **guy.**_ **" Sonic paused in his stride, looking at his friends for help. "Is that guy not a guy?"**

" **It's not what you said, Sonic, it's** _ **how**_ **you said it." Amy admonished. "But, I think the town will forgive you if they see you're making an effort to change your condescending highhanded appallingly insensitive attitude."**

Knuckles lowly whistled before grinning over at an appalled Sonic. "Girlfriends really don't pull any punches, do they?"

"Or kicks," the speedster easily retorted, sending the echidna into a sputtering fit.

For the first time, Amy ignored the implications of dating to say, "But he's not like that all the time! It just happened this once…barely!"

"We don't follow them around every second of every day…" Tails reluctantly put out there.

Amy still didn't believe it. "He doesn't seem that bad when we see him though!" She crossed her arms with a huff. "She's obviously overreacting. Sonics are a gift to the world that bring joy and happiness, and-"

"Now who's exaggerating?" Shadow cut her off for the sake of his mental state.

"Shadow, if you were any less of a physical powerhouse, I would attack you with no mercy."

**Sonic crossed his arms with a frown.**

**Amy brightened. "Lucky for you, I happen to teach a sensitivity training seminar!"**

Tails' laugh was uneasy. "She's really determined about being a psychologist."

**Sonic looked at her, stunned, as she kept going. "Every weekday morning at eight a.m. to three p.m." Amy turned to the others. "And, there's enough open spots in the class for all of you!"**

"Or you could not go, for it is a waste of time," Metal uttered, convinced that the pinkette herself needed to be mentally evaluated.

"But that would be 'insensitive', and the other Amy would probably hunt them down." Knuckles opposed.

**There was a collective groan. Knuckles glared at the blue hero. "Not cool, Sonic."**

"But he _started_ - _"_ Knuckles had to stop himself because he felt a vein threatening to burst.

**Later, Sonic's team – along with Comedy Chimp and the bow-tied beaver – were all folding paper hats at a table.**

"Why?" was the only thing Sonic could manage to ask.

**Knuckles, sitting by Sonic, sent the speedster an ugly look. "I still don't get why we have to do all this stupid training just because of Sonic's big dumb** _**mouth.** _ **"**

Knuckles had to stand up this time, taking deep breaths as he walked around the room.

Sonic agreed that was a bit uncalled for.

Eggman was getting fed up at this point, and usually it's the highlight of his day whenever something negative happened to the annoying pincushion. "That dimwit echidna should be locked in a room with a copy of himself."

Shadow immediately threw that idea out. "Then they would become friends, and we'd have _two_ of them to deal with. No thank you."

**Amy blew a whistle, startling everyone. "Uh ah ah!" She wiggled a finger. "Insensitive remark! This training's** _**not** _ **stupid."**

" _That's_ what she calls him out on?" Amy pulled at her hanging quills. "Not that Knuckles just called her bf _dumb?!"_

Sonic wasn't going to correct her because she was so riled up. The risk was too high.

**Her expression brightened. "Now, how are everyone's sensitivity hats coming along?" The group held their hats up, Sonic extremely unenthused.**

The whole room shared his sentiment.

"Why is my twin even there?" Tails questioned, curious. "I get why Knuckles and Sticks are there, Sonic being there is because of plot, Comedy Chip and the beaver were really random, but why Tails? He hasn't done anything wrong!"

Knuckles plopped down in his seat with a grunt, his anger back down to manageable levels. "Most likely for emotional support because Sonic sure does need it right now."

**The class then moved to the couch with Amy standing in front of them. "When you find yourself frustrated, instead of lashing out at someone else, close your eyes-" She did so. "-take a deep breath, and go to your happy place."**

From Knuckles' experience, that wouldn't help much.

**Amy reopened her eyes, placing her hands on her hip. "Let's practice that right now."**

**Everyone else followed in her footsteps, visiting their happy places.**

**Sonic's happy place was the beach with him lounging in a hammock without a care in the world.**

"I'd rather be running though open spaces-" Sonic shrugged. "-but that's good too."

**Tails' happy place was in the sky. He was spinning his namesakes as he flew around like a superhero.**

Tails smiled widely, relieved to know that they were on the same wavelength.

**Sticks' happy place was in the jungle. With camouflage paint on her face, the badger took down robot after robot with ease.**

" **That'll teach you to team up with alien overlords you robo-trash!" Sticks exclaimed out loud, and her neighbor on the couch – Comedy Chimp – eyed her warily while scooting over.**

"Wise decision," Knuckles commented. He thanked his lucky stars that they had skipped over his twin's happy place.

**A short while later, they were sharing stories.**

" **Now I realize that even though on the outside I was hitting my sidekick with a mallet, on the inside, I was hitting myself with a mallet of my own insecurities," Comedy Chimp admitted before bursting out in tears.**

"Wow…" Amy's expression softened. "That's actually pretty sad."

Metal glanced at her. "You have a hammer."

"You better stop that connection right now if you know what's good for you."

Sonic threw her an amused look. "You've really been goin' after people lately, Ames."

"It's this episode!" Amy breathed harshly out of her nose. "It's got me a little heated, that's all."

**Beside him, Knuckles seemed to be holding back tears as well. "It's okay, bro." The echidna pulled the crying chimp in for a sympathy hug. "I like to hit things too."**

Sonic snickered at that, and he figured that he should make an announcement. "We can't forget that the other Knuckles is still a good friend, guys. He's a little…weird, but a good person nonetheless."

"Weird is _not_ the word I'd use," Knuckles mumbled.

**Tails and Sticks looked on sadly. Amy wiped away the dampness on her face and asked, "Sonic, would you care to share with the group?"**

**Sonic scratched his head unsurely, avoiding his paper hat. "I don't know…" He looked around. "I guess I could be more mindful of peoples' feelings, and stuff?" Curious gazes watched him, waiting for more. Sonic wracked his brain. "Aaand…maybe I'll go talk to Mike? Tell him…I'm sorry?"**

"I hope everything will be right again after he does!" Tails chirped.

Knuckles rose a dubious brow at him. "Do you really think it will?"

Tails' hesitation was all the answer he needed.

**Everybody around him cooed and held their arms out.**

**Sonic didn't fight it. "Alright, bring it in." He was suddenly crushed in a group hug.**

"Aw!" Amy cooed as well before facing Sonic with a glint in her eye. "Can we all give you a group hug too?"

"Speak for yourself," Shadow grunted.

Knuckles grinned at how Sonic tensed up. "I think she is."

"Why would I need a hug, Ames?" The blue hero forced a laugh. "I don't need a pick-me-up!"

"So you're giving me permission to hug when you're down? Yay!"

_What have I done?_

**At Meh Burger, Sonic was chatting with a particular ox. "Listen, Mike," he started. "I was wrong to say you're just a guy."**

" **And?" Mike prompted.**

**Sonic wasn't expecting that, his answer more like a question than a statement. "And…I'll never do it again?"**

" **And?"**

"That greedy jerk!" Amy swore that _everyone_ was out to get the other Sonic. "He said he was sorry! Isn't that enough?"

Tails had a thought and suddenly feared the future. "He most likely still wants to go battle with Eggman."

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, things definitely _won't_ go wrong if that happens. Sonic better say no."

Sonic could already see it coming. "Remember the sleepover episode? He's too nice…" Sonic himself would let the guy down gently, explaining the _multitude_ of reasons not to be in the middle of a fight.

**A subtle frown grew on the speedster's muzzle. "And…" He thought for a second. "If you want, you're welcome to come with us to the next battle with Eggman."**

Knuckles couldn't help but to face-palm.

**Mike smiled. "Apology accepted! Can we go now?"**

**Sonic blinked. "Well, no. We have to wait until Eggman launches an attack."**

**Mike leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his drink. Putting it back down, he asked, "How about now?"**

A few people turned to Metal and opened their mouths. The robot already knew their question. "We are only five minutes and twenty-five seconds in."

Shadow gritted his teeth, Eggman cursed the existence of everything, and Knuckles needed a time machine.

**Sonic stuttered at the insistence. "N-No, you see-"**

" **So, now?" Mike gently pounded his fists on the table, excited. "Let's go now!"**

**Sonic took a sharp breath and closed his eyes. "Just go to your happy place…" he muttered. "Just go to your happy place."**

Sonic laughed even though he felt bad. Mike was a handful, to put it lightly. "I don't think ignoring him is the best plan here."

Tails shared some of his amusement, lightly chuckling. "It's better than being angry."

"Is it?" Knuckles and Shadow grunted at the same time.

The kit nodded. "Way better."

**The hero was then relaxing in his hammock, the sea breeze gently rocking him back and forth. Sonic sighed in relief only to gaze in shock when Mike walked up to him.**

" **What?" The ox glanced around. "Is this your happy place or something?" He placed a hand on Sonic's shoulder. "And when are we going to the battle? Now?"**

Amy creased her brow in concern. "That's terrifying. Imagine having a good dream and then _boom!_ Your worst nightmare walks in like he owns the place."

Eggman didn't have to imagine it, for his nightmare ceaselessly popped up at the worst times in the shape of a spiky blue irritation.

**Sonic groaned before closing his eyes again.**

**This time, the hedgehog was standing in a peaceful room void of anything but white space. Sonic slumped with a smile, happy to be alone.**

Knuckles shook his head in disappointment. "Should've said no."

" **What's this? Your happier place?" Sonic spun around with wide eyes only to see Mike, who was examining his surroundings. "Cool! So can we go to the battle now?"**

"Is there something in the water that diminishes IQ points?" Metal asked. "There is no other logical explanation for this stupidity."

Amy hummed in thought. "Maybe, but then explain Sonic, Tails, and my twin! They don't seem affected…much."

Sonic jumped into the conversation with a shrug. "Maybe they drink a lot of juice instead? I like juice."

"Me too!" Tails chirped.

Amy nodded. "It's a possibility…"

**Sonic gritted his teeth but was distracted by a sudden beeping. "Huh?"**

**The Sonic in the hammock opened his eyes. "What?"**

**Then the Sonic at Meh Burger shot to attention.**

**Lastly, a human was shown taking out the trash in a Sonic costume. He froze and mumbled in Sonic's voice, "Oops. One too many." He dropped the bag in the trash can.**

Sonic accurately imitated a stranded goldfish. "What…What in the world was _that?!_ "

Tails' eyes were wide. "There was a human…dressed as you…but he had your voice and…how…trash…" The kit held his head in his hands, whining. "My brain hurts…"

"And did you see the background?!" Amy had never been so confused in her life. "It was nothing like I've ever seen before! It's realistic but not…but it _is_."

Sonic leaned back in his chair. "I'm glad someone else besides me saw that because I thought I was losin' it for a sec."

Knuckles ran a hand down his face. "We're all slowly going crazy." He then gestured at the screen. "And what the hell does 'one too many' mean?"

"Cannot compute," was Metal's contribution to the conversation.

Shadow's mind was too muddled to attempt to comprehend what just happened. If Tails couldn't, he wasn't going to try. "Let's just say that the other Faker lost his mind and move on."

" _Something_ snapped in that mind of his." Eggman stroked his mustache. "Since we saw it in his 'happy' place." He paused, pensive. "Or was he out of it?"

Tails whimpered again.

"We should keep going…" Amy suggested, pressing play so they could forget the last ten seconds.

**Meh Burger Sonic looked down at his beeping communicator and pressed a button. Tails' alarmed voice came through.** _**"Incoming attack from Eggman!"** _

Eggman, after mentally ousting that bizarre image, sighed. "Again with this? He must be doing some spring cleaning."

**Sonic hopped out of his seat, regarding Mike, "Okay,** _**now.** _ **"**

**The ox didn't move. "Hold on a minute-"**

**Sonic growled before grabbing Mike's wrist and sprinting away.**

"I would applaud, but this is about to be a train wreck," Knuckles commented as he propped his chin up with his hand, waiting for the inevitable.

**They ended up back at the canyon, meeting with the other members of Team Sonic. Eggman swooped down in his hovercraft once more.**

**The heroes were ready for battle; Mike laid a checkered blanked on the ground and got comfortable, gaining the others' attentions.**

Tails' brain came back online just in time to question this. "He doesn't even want to fight? He's just there to watch?"

Amy puffed out her cheeks. "He made such a big deal out of _this_? Watching the fights should be normal at this point!"

" **Behold!" Eggman raised a fist. "My latest invention-" He cut himself off when he punched his dashboard, causing Cubot to be ejected from his seat. The robot flew and crashed into Mike's leg, causing the ox to cry out in pain.**

"Yep." Knuckles grunted. "There it is."

" **Oh boy." Sonic subtly shook his head. "That's not good."**

**Later, Sonic was walking through the village, pushing Mike in a wheelchair. The ox had a broken leg, and the villagers were berating the hero for it.**

" **How could you take that fella to a battle?" the old monkey harshly questioned. "He's not like you, Sonic. He's just a guy!"**

"Question." Eggman began. "If I somehow found a way to that dimension, would you stop me from taking that village over?"

"Absolutely not," was Knuckles' instant response.

Amy pondered it for a bit. "I would after thinking long and hard about morals."

"They might be mean and unfair, but they're still people!" Sonic argued with a smile. "We'll stop you like we always had! Right, Tails?"

"…Yeah, the guilt would eat away at me."

"What was with that hesitation?"

"I thought I…had to sneeze?"

Sonic narrowed his eyes. "Uh huh, sure. What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing!" Tails averted his gaze. "Just um, _hypothetically_ , if we just…let him take over for like a day."

Sonic narrowed his eyes even more.

"Hypothetically!" Tails emphasized.

Knuckles snorted. "It would teach them about not hating the one main thing stopping their home from being made into an amusement park."

"That's still no good!" Sonic shook his head. "Because Eggman would get a win under his belt as well, and my perfect record would be swiped clean!"

Eggman arched a brow. "Seems to me that you care about your record than the victims, cactus."

"What? No!" Sonic waved his hands back and forth. "Stop twisting my words! I didn't say that!"

"That's what I heard," Shadow uttered.

Metal nodded. "I as well."

Sonic groaned.

**Sonic whirled around and put a hand on his hip, frowning. "Wait, seriously? I only took him to the battle because** _**you people-"** _

**The townspeople gasped before glaring. "You people?!"**

Tails winced. "He's just digging a deeper hole for himself."

Shadow wasn't surprised. "I told you. Walking away would have solved all his problems."

**Sonic was now sitting back on Amy's couch wearing a paper hat. He exhaled harshly, not thrilled at all to be back in the class.**

" **Alright," Amy began. "Perhaps our enthusiasm yesterday was a** _ **bit**_ **premature. As it turns out,** _ **some**_ **people still have a long way to go in their training."**

**Sonic sharply returned the gazes that landed on him.**

That caught Knuckles off guard. "He's super pissed."

Tails glanced between the blue hedgehog on the screen and the one in the room. "I don't think I've ever seen you that mad, Sonic."

The speedster raked his fingers through his quills. "Well yeah, I don't have to deal with people hating my guts for no reason – Shadow, you say you hate me, but you really don't – and his friends…really aren't makin' things easier for him."

"Especially my double!" Amy wanted to hop into the screen herself and take over. "Sonic doesn't need these meetings! He needs a good pep talk and a hug!"

"Right now though, I think he needs some space…" Sonic muttered to himself.

**Amy remained bubbly. "But I'm sure that we'll all learn to be compassionate after tomorrow's…" She threw an eager fist in the air. "…sensitivity training camping trip!"**

**Everybody – sans Sonic – cheered loudly.**

"Take out the 'sensitivity', and it might've been bearable," Knuckles said.

**That seemed to be the last straw for the blue hero. "You know what I think is compassionate?" His words were sharp and icy. "Saving the village from Eggman like** _**every week.** _ **But do I get any props for that?** _**No.** _ **" He was getting himself worked up. "Everyone just goes around** _**gasping** _ **at me when a call a guy a** _**guy** _ **, or people** _**people** _ **!"**

**The room gasped.**

**Immensely annoyed and agitated, Sonic's voice escalated to a shout. "I quit heroing, and I quit this** _**stupid group!"** _ **He snatched his hat off his head and hurled it to the floor. He got off the couch, leaving the room without another word.**

There was a beat of silence. Then, one at a time, pairs of eyes landed on Sonic.

The blue hedgehog harshly exhaled. He was a _version_ of the Sonic on the TV, and those words still shook him a bit. "Like I said, I don't blame him. I wouldn't go so far as the quit being a hero, but, man that's _rough._ "

Eggman made a mental note to emotionally prepare himself for if – _when_ – he took over the world. That cactus's anger was nothing to laugh at, apparently.

Tails almost couldn't believe what just happened. "Is…Is he serious? About retiring?"

"Considering that this isn't the last episode, I doubt it." Shadow would give _anything_ to make this the last one. "Though, I have to say that I'm impressed. I didn't know he had that outburst in him."

"Seriously." Knuckles agreed. That was true anger. Not annoyance, not exasperation, that hedgehog was _mad._ "He held it in well because I would've snapped a long time ago."

"And I would have snapped necks."

Knuckles slowly focused on the bot. "Whoa, Metal. Remember pain?"

"Yes, and again, it would be painless."

Ignoring the conversation around her, Amy's heart went out for the other Sonic. He sounded so frustrated that no one was on his side, angry that nothing he did made things better, and tired because those unnecessary meetings were at eight o'clock in the morning.

She caught on to that negativity, wanting it to go away, and she also noticed something else. She's almost ashamed of it, but-

"…Would it be out of line to say that Sonic's _really_ cute when he's angry?"

Knuckles burst out in laughter, and Sonic's voice was an octave higher than normal. "Let's keep the show going, Ames!"

"Like, maybe I should drop one or your chili dogs or something-"

"That's how you get me to cry, not be angry." Sonic admitted, cringing at the visual of his favorite food being tainted. "But anyway, keep the train chugging!" Amy opened her mouth, but he wasn't having it. "Play!"

**Outside the nearby window, a guy wearing a tree costume snickered deviously.**

"Really?" Tails gasped. "He was there the whole time?!" Not only did he see Sonic at one of his more explosive moments, now they know he wasn't going to help!

Knuckles was still chuckling. "He's seriously stuck in that tree costume? It _has_ to reek."

**Inside the Lightning Bolt society's base, their walrus leader was shocked. "Sonic the Hedgehog, retired?"**

" **Yeah!" the tree guy affirmed. "And the rest of his do-gooder friends are going on some lovey-dovey camping trip!"**

Amy wanted to hit something. "She didn't _cancel_ it?! Even after Sonic went off on her because of it! Is being a psychologist _that_ important?"

"There's nothing wrong about her thinking about her future."

"Shadow, you're talking way too much, and I don't like it."

" **The town is ours for the taking!" The cloaked weasel smirked.**

Eggman _highly_ doubted it.

" **Wait…" Dave furrowed his brow. "Didn't we try this once before already?"**

This was news to Sonic. "Wait, they have?"

**The walrus leader shook his head. "No, that was when Eggman retired. This time,** _**Sonic's** _ **retiring! Totally different thing."**

"We definitely missed something…" Sonic pointed out with a frown. "I think I'd remember old Eggy retiring."

Metal could not recall that from his memory files either. "And considering that he is still failing spectacularly, it did not last long. Which is unfortunate."

Tails didn't like that there was a missing puzzle piece here. " _When_ did it happen, though? I-" The rest of his words died out when the TV screen suddenly cut to black. Tails went rigid – along with the rest of the room – and his gut dropped. "Oh _please_ no…"

"It shut off." Amy's pulse was in her ears. "It shut _off!"_ she screeched, horrified.

Before she could continue – and before the occupants of the space succumbed to mass hysteria – letters appeared on the television.

" _Calm down. You're still getting out when the episodes are done. Call this a little intermission."_

Amy gasped, her voice the complete opposite than before. It's low and cautious. They've experienced all of the things _it_ can do, and they really shouldn't try to reveal more. "Oh my gosh, it's the _thing!_ "

" _Hey."_

Many unsure looks were shared.

An awkward and nervous atmosphere settled when those three letters didn't move from the screen.

Sonic was the first to break the silence, going for a safe route. "Uh…hey to you too! It's been a while since you last talked to us, huh?"

Eggman's gaze sharpened as he recalled all of the insanity he had been through. He knew that he could very well be digging his own grave, but he couldn't help it. "Stop talking to it like it's a long lost _friend_. It's anything but."

If being friends protected Sonic from the random impossibilities the _thing_ could pull off, he was all for it.

" _Harsh, but expected."_

"Harsh?" Shadow had been planning to keep his emotions in check, but that made his blood boil. "You don't know the first thing about _harsh,"_ he glowered.

" _I'd calm down if I were you."_

"Or _what?_ " Shadow snarled out of anger, temporarily ignoring common sense.

" _Hey, do the rest of you want to see what a shaved Shadow looks like?"_

Shadow instantly quieted.

Someone gagged, and Knuckles shook off that haunting image before raising a fist, scowling. "Why are you keeping us trapped here? Let us go, dammit! We haven't done anything to you!"

It disregarded his question altogether. _"I'm here to clear things up."_

Tails reluctantly ventured, "About your powers?"

" _No, about the other Eggman's retirement."_

"We don't care that much out it!" Knuckles gritted his teeth. "Let us out! What do you gain from keeping us here?!"

" _Stuff."_ Knuckles looked on in disbelief. " _But anyway, it's true that his retirement happened. You did miss it because it was one of the episodes I was kind enough to delete from the watch list."_

Eggman's mustache bristled. "What, do you want a thank you?"

It kept going like he hadn't spoken. _"Nothing important happened, really. Basically, Eggman tries and fails to get rid of Sonic, and Sticks convinces him that machines are untrustworthy."_

Amy blinked, caught off-guard. She was still processing that the magical being was giving them a rundown of a slice of their doubles' lives, and the Sticks thing was icing on the cake. "Wait, what?"

" _I know right? Hilarious. But yeah, he deserts his lair because of the technology, and the Lightning Bolts take over, accidentally causing havoc with robots. When Sonic tells him about it, he trusts machinery again and takes back his lair. That's pretty much it."_

Silence reigned for a couple moments.

" _Oh, and the other Eggman is very fond of butter."_

"O…kay?" Sonic had no idea how to feel right now.

" _I know you're all confused, but it's alright. It's all for comedy."_ White noise slowly filled the screen, making the words barely readable. _"Well, now you know, so I'm leaving."_

"Wait!" Knuckles shouted while standing up only for the episode to pop back up, paused on the other Sonic's walk out. He punched the floor in frustration.

Shadow was fuming in silence, wishing to tear something apart. His gaze snapped down when a yellow smiley stress ball landed in his lap.

He hurled it across the room with no hesitation.

Metal watched the ball as it bounced against the wall with a loud thump. "Now it has a personality, my despise grows significantly."

Eggman got up to search for more headache medicine that was somewhere in the kitchen.

Sonic scratched the back of his neck, his thoughts nothing but a jumbled whirlwind. "The _thing_ just came in and went like that…"

Tails was fiddling with his namesakes. "I'm more confused that it _solved_ our confusion. Kind of. Isn't it supposed to be mean?"

"It still is!" Amy was fighting through her mental whiplash. "It gains _stuff_ from us being here! What does that even mean?"

"Nothing." Knuckles breathed out as he plopped back down into his chair. He was clenching and unclenching his fists. "It just said it to make us mad."

"It's obvious that we're here just for shits and giggles," Shadow added as the anger slowly drained out of him, replaced by the everlasting exhaustion. "Now that we know about the doctor's stupid retirement, play the damn thing so we can leave here and _it_ as soon as possible."

Eggman reentered the ruined living room with a huff. " _Please_ because it feels like I'm wasting away in this blasted house." He reclaimed his seat. "My dream of Eggmanland is in jeopardy."

"Isn't it always?" Sonic reverted back to teasing because it was the only thing safe and familiar in this bizarre situation he found himself in.

" _Hush_ you."

**Outside their window was a small flying robot that was eavesdropping on the society.**

**Miles away in an evil base, Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot watched as the Lightning Bolts cheered on-screen.**

Tails was almost hesitant to talk because it was proven that they were always being listened to, but they couldn't really do anything about it. "Does Eggman have robots watching people all the time? There's no other way he can catch these key moments with luck."

"Luck balance of the universe," Knuckles grumbled, mood in the negatives.

"…I guess."

" **Sounds like an opportunity to launch an offensive," Orbot advised.**

" **Yeah!" Cubot agreed. "And you should attack too!"**

**Eggman sent them a sharp look. "No, if I do that, Sonic will come out of retirement and fight me! I'll need to bide my time, wait for juuust the right moment…"**

" **Ah," Orbot said softly. "Do nothing at all. It's** _ **that**_ **kind of evil scheme that keeps you feared around the globe."**

Metal tilted his head. "If they keep up this high level of sarcasm, they might not need to be discarded in the nearest landfill."

"So…the ocean?" Amy guessed.

"Correct."

Eggman wished the pills were faster acting. "How can he be feared around the globe if he does _nothing_ but attack a village in the middle of nowhere with a max population of twenty?"

"He probably sells evil ham and evil turkey to distant places on the side, and people are scared of getting food poisoning."

Several odd looks settled on Sonic.

"What? That's the _most_ realistic explanation to why Sunny-side Up would be feared."

"But that's not really realistic." Tails mused.

"That's the point."

**Back near the village, Sonic in his hammock and the rest of his friends on their hike were being spied on by the guy in the tree costume. He lowered his binoculars and sent a signal to the weasel bandits.**

**They gave him a thumbs up before one of them kicked a trash can into a bigger dumpster. Elsewhere, Dave was in a bathroom, switching around toilet paper so that the end hung under the roll, not over. A sinister laugh escaped him.**

Sonic gasped. "That _monster._ "

Knuckles was surprised at the intern's nerve. "That's the evilest thing he's done."

Metal didn't understand the reason for alarm. "Did he not activate a Doomsday device?"

"You don't have to use the bathroom, Metal." Sonic knew that trying to explain it would be hopeless. "So you wouldn't understand."

**The tree guy looked around before pouring juice from a juice box into a cup. Lady Walrus approached, visibly upset. "But it's already a juice container! Why dirty a glass?!"**

"If she's upset about that, don't let her find the toilet paper…" Amy felt sorry for the next person who went in there.

**The leader of the Bolts was helping an old lady across the street. However, halfway across, he abandoned her with a laugh, running away. The lady shrugged in exasperation before continuing on.**

Amy frowned at the blatant disrespect. "Now that's just mean!"

"Maybe they're stepping up their game a little?" Tails provided.

**At Meh Burger, a goat lady was ordering. "And tomatoes on the s-i-i-i-de please."**

**Dave went over to the burgers and deliberately placed tomatoes right on the patty. He chuckled darkly as he picked up the tray.**

"And it went back down."

**On the beach, a handful of villagers were standing in front of Sonic's hammock. Lady Walrus was the first to speak. "Sonic! You have to do something about the Lightning Bolt society!"**

**Sonic tersely scoffed. "Oh** _**whatever.** _ **I've eaten burritos more dangerous than the Lightning Bolts." He donned a pair of sunglasses. "Sorry, guys. I'm retired." He drawled out, going back to relaxing and ignoring their existence.**

Sonic couldn't necessarily be mad at his double acting like this, but he would've done something regardless. "I've eaten stuff more dangerous than _Eggman_ , and I still help out!"

Eggman scowled. "Now you're just making things up, you pincushion!"

"Nope! One day, I experimented with really spicy chili, and I honestly thought I was going to live out my last hours on the toilet." Eggman recoiled at that, and Sonic nodded. "Yep. It was pretty bad."

Tails remembered that day vividly. He thought Sonic would be terrified of all chili dogs because of the incident, but the hedgehog made some the next day without a care in the world. "I had the hospital on speed dial just in case, but anyway, the other Sonic is doing what I wanted!" Tails changed the subject before adding on sheepishly, "You know, hypothetically."

Amy pursed her lips. "You think he's teaching them a lesson?"

"After his outburst? I doubt it." Knuckles snorted. "He's not pretending to be out of the game. Just look at him! No one pulls out shades if they aren't serious."

**The scene cut to the Lightning Bolts approaching a pen filled with quadruped sheep. "Well, well, look what we have here!" one of the weasels chirped. "A fence! Trying to dictate where we can and cannot go!"**

**The walrus leader brandished some bolt-cutters, snapping the wiring in the fence.**

**Dave smiled a little too widely. "Oh yeah…anarchy baby,** _**woohoo!"** _

"I have a strong feeling that they don't know what anarchy means." Shadow had experienced, and had started, anarchy in the past, and releasing sheep wasn't it.

"I am perplexed to why Dave would join that mediocre society with the knowledge of what the doctor can do."

Knuckles shook his head at Metal. "Don't question it. Life will be much simpler."

**The society yelled in victory as they ran into the formerly fenced-in area. Dave slapped a random sheep, and it instantly sprinted through the hole in the fencing. The rest of the sheep followed suit.**

**The herd made it to the heart of the village, stampeding through and causing the townspeople scream and flee.**

"They're just sheep!" Amy raised her voice like the villagers could hear her. "Throw them some wheat or something!"

**Sonic, hearing the terror, lowered the drink he was sipping out of a coconut and sat up. "So much for early retirement…" he groused before speeding off.**

Tails blinked. "Wait, so he actually-"

"Told you." Knuckles smugly scoffed.

**The chaotic sheep rampaged around the village, eventually knocking down a tree. The tree crashed into a bench, catapulting a baby walrus into the air.**

**Lady Walrus screamed. "My baby!" Then she looked at the camera. "Again." She resumed screaming. "Somebody save my baby!" Back to the camera. "Again."**

"That baby does have a bad luck streak." Tails knew the mom's stress level had to be through the roof.

Sonic snickered. "I'm glad we don't have sheep around here that can somehow topple trees like it's nothing."

**The toddler was falling, but he never hit the ground. Sonic carefully caught the child and handed him over to his thankful mother.**

**Eggman watched the scene from his lair, smirking. "Now** _**this** _ **feels like the right moment! He'll never see me coming…"**

"How is _that_ the right moment?!" Knuckles realized that he went back on his own words, questioning that world of insanity, but his life was in shambles anyway, so it didn't matter. "Do it when he's completely distracted with not something sheep-related or, I don't know, when he's _sleeping!"_

"Perhaps the other doctor is focusing more on beauty sleep, for it is obvious he was not getting any before." Metal glanced over to Eggman. "I am sure you can sympathize."

"I'm going to tear you apart _so_ violently when we get out of here."

**Back at the village, the old lady from before was running away from the out-of-control sheep. Sonic swiftly guided her out of harm's way, and he did the same to a hanging monkey and a kid playing in the sand.**

"Did they not see the sheep, or…"

"They were just sheep! I wouldn't be scared either!"

"I dunno about you, Ames, but seeing superpowered sheep tear down a tree would make me a little worried."

**Sonic then bolted over to the sheep and herded them up, running circles around them to stop their stampede.**

**Eggman, along with Orbot and Cubot, swooped down in his hovercraft and pushed a button on his dashboard. The bottom of the Eggmobile opened up to reveal a large hand that was aiming from the oblivious speedster.**

**Mike, observing from his wheelchair, gasped at the sight of the doctor and yelled out, "Sonic!" He pointed. "It's Eggman!"**

"Oh, look who decides to be helpful." Knuckles observed.

"I mean, he's a good guy." Tails tried to back the ox up. "The other Knuckles just might not be the best influence."

" **Huh?" Sonic glanced over to the ox before shifting his gaze up just as the hand got too close for comfort. Sonic slipped into the group of sheep and ducked down, making Eggman pause.**

**In response to Sonic hiding, the mechanical hand scooped up a few sheep and tossed them too hard into the air. The each of the livestock landed on the three evildoers.**

Sonic would've side-stepped and spin dashed, but hey, if it worked, it worked. "That's one way to do it."

**Getting an idea, Sonic reached over and positioned a sheep on his back, piggy-back style. He trotted away, the rest of the herd following him. Eggman, now helpless with the sheep hindering his vision, yelped when the mechanical hand tried to grab more sheep, pulling the doctor along for the ride.**

Amy could see why the other Eggman abandoned all technology in the earlier episode.

"It's so pathetic that it hurts," Eggman grumbled.

Shadow sent him a not-so-subtle glance and hummed.

The doctor glared. "I don't like the tone of your hum, rodent!"

"That seems like a personal problem."

**The scene then cut to the Lightning Bolt society relaxing in the now empty sheep pen. When a deep rumble caught their attention, they sat up and one weasel asked, "What the heck is that?"**

**Sonic was swiftly approaching them with the sheep on his back. There wasn't a herd trailing after the hedgehog anymore, for the mechanical hand had deposited them all on top of Eggman and his helper robots.**

" **I can't see anything!" Eggman exclaimed. "What's going on?!"**

Tails was glad that nothing too serious had happened in the show, but, "I feel like having an entire sheep on your head would more than just blind you. How much do they look like they weigh?"

"Enough to destroy his spinal column."

"I was hoping for a numerical answer, but…thanks anyway, Metal."

**After placing his sheep in the enclosure, Sonic jumped up and spin dashed the hovercraft. The animals flew into the air and landed inside the fence. Sonic then welded the metal gate shut with the head of his spin attack.**

Sonic narrowed his eyes. Science usually went over his head; however, his twin using his quills to weld inside of shred was too out there even for him. "Tails-"

"I didn't think it was possible either."

**The Lightning Bolt society were promptly pelted with the falling sheep.**

"They're all dead," Shadow's curtly stated.

**The villagers cheered as they crowded around Sonic. "We were wrong about you, Sonic." The old monkey apologized. "You** _ **are**_ **better than us!"**

Knuckles shrugged. "He isn't wrong."

"I mean…" Sonic fumbled with his words for a moment. "Physically maybe, but not an any other way! Everyone are equals!"

The echidna rose an inquisitive brow. "So you're saying that you're not smarter than that old monkey?"

Sonic opened and closed his mouth without saying anything.

"Exactly."

**Lady Walrus clasped her hands together. "Thank you for saving the village, and my baby! Again."**

**At this point, the rest of Team Sonic including the beaver and Comedy Chimp entered the scene with broad smiles.**

Amy rolled her eyes. _Now_ they decided to show up. "That camping trip better had been the best trip of their lives."

" **I knew if we left you alone long enough, you'd step up and save the day!" Amy chirped.**

" **While I appreciate you taking partial credit for my heroics, Amy, there is someone who** _ **actually**_ **deserves my thanks."**

Knuckles smirked. "It's safe to say that he's still a little mad."

In contrast, Tails and Amy covered their mouths in shock at the obvious passive aggressiveness while Sonic hoped his double could outrun the hammer that might pop up.

" **Mike." Sonic went over to the ox, patting his shoulder. "Without his help, I never would've seen Eggman coming. You're more than just a guy, Mike. You're a hero!"**

" **Oh," Mike responded nonchalantly. "Neato."**

_He doesn't even care!_ Amy inwardly shouted. _After all of that, and he doesn't-_

No one acknowledged Amy tightly gripping the arms of her chair like they were the sole reason for her distress.

**With the Lightning Bolts, they had recovered from the sheep attack.**

Shadow signed in disappointment.

" **Oh man!" Dave complained. "We thought we were the badest in town, but then Eggman showed up with his claw doodad…"**

**One villager, a cat, addressed them, "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but you're just not good at it."**

" **Yeah…you're not good at it," the rest of the people echoed with head shakes.**

"We are going to see that gorup again," Knuckles said, resigning to the sad fate. "I doubt the villagers' disapproval will keep them from doing overwhelmingly mediocre things that annoyed everyone."

**The walrus leader rolled his eyes. "Ugh, and I suppose** _**you** _ **people can do it better?"**

**Sharp gasps filled the air.**

**Amy was back in her house, smiling. "Let's see those sensitivity hats, boys!"**

**The Lightning Bolts, including Tails and Sticks, held their hats in the air.**

"Why-" Knuckles stopped right there. It was the end of the episode, and there was no point in looking back now. "Another episode down, and we learned that the other Sonic can hold one hell of a grudge."

Amy nodded before huffing. "I like my twin, but she deserved it! She wasn't great in this one, and neither was Knuckles!" They were basically fighting over who could be the worst friend.

Sonic scratched his nose, replying, "They could've done things better, yeah, but they were doing what they thought was best."

Shadow pointedly looked at him. "You're clearly delusional, but what else is new."

"Hey!"

"Yeah! He's not delusional!" Of course, Tails had Sonic's back. "He's positive, there's a difference!"

Metal nodded. "Correct. Those two words are not synonymous. I thought you would know that, Ultimate Lifeform, for you are the only delusional one here."

"Probably."

Eggman was expecting more of a reaction than that, but Shadow had to pick his fights if he didn't want to completely burn out before they were freed. The _thing_ deserved his anger, not the mouthy disposable robot.

Before the conversation could continue, a blinding white flash filled the room, making most of them hiss in pain.

Sonic had a bad feeling when he blinked his eyes open, lowering his arms. Nothing good came after one of those.

It wasn't long until he stiffened, his mouth agape as he stared at the figure standing in front of the TV. It took him a second to process the red fur, the hanging dreads, and the built stature, but once he did, he swiftly glanced over at Knuckles.

Knuckles' panic was clear as day as he breathed out, "Why me…?"

"Huh?" The newcomer – who had his back to them – turned around and immediately sought out the one who talked. He froze also at the sight of Knuckles, eyeing the seated guardian.

"Well-" The 'stranger' pointed at Knuckles' shoes, which were near identical to his own. "Somebody has to change, and it's not gonna be me."


	24. Chapter 24

"Well, somebody has to change, and it's not gonna be me."

The room was dead silent, no one responding to the words coming from someone who _really_ shouldn't be there.

Sonic's chin was still scraping the ground, stunned, along with Tails and Amy. Eggman was baffled because he didn't think his stay here could get any worse. Apparently, he had been wrong. For Metal, it was unexpected, but he knew better to be surprised.

Another stress ball appeared in Shadow's lap. He kept it this time.

Knuckles stared at his other self for a long while before standing up and stiffly leaving the room.

The buffy echidna smiled victoriously. "I'm glad he went, because I don't have any other shoes with me!"

A door slammed somewhere in the back of the house, that snapping Sonic out of his shock. He stared the top-heavy echidna up and down, still processing that he was _here_ with them.

This was uh…gonna be an experience, alright.

"Um…" Sonic had no idea how to approach this. After a moment of thought, he stood up and genially smiled. "Hey! Just to make sure we're on the same page here, you know that you're in an alternate dimension, right?"

The other perked up, eyes sparkling. "Really?! I just thought I ended up in a different place where there are doubles of me and my friends who act differently!"

Eggman rubbed his temples, and Shadow squeezed the toy like his life depended on it.

Sonic chuckled while Tails and Amy managed to stifle theirs. "Anyway, you probably know all of our names already, but I'm Sonic!" He gestured to the kit and pinkette. "That's Tails and Amy." They waved, partially recovering from the surprise, and the echidna waved back with a bright smile. Sonic then nodded over to a human muttering to himself. "That's old Eggface."

Buff Knuckles eyed him and loudly whispered, "Your Eggman sure put on some pounds, huh?"

The room erupted in laughter, and Eggman fumed. "I have _not!"_ He scowled. "Listen here, you oversized rodent! I'm nothing like your buffoon of a doctor! I _will_ destroy you!"

Buff Knuckles scoffed, flexing his arms. "None of your machines will ever beat _these_ guns!"

Eggman's burned red with anger as Amy wiped away a tear, struggling to get her laughter under control. "This is great!"

Metal nodded. "It is going better than I had initially predicted."

The echidna stiffened at the robot's voice, whirling around to face the Sonic-replica. They locked eyes, and Buff Knuckles screamed. Then, he noticed Shadow and screamed again.

All laughter stopped when he ran and hid behind Sonic's plastic chair, still in full view of everyone.

Tails slowly rose a brow at that interesting interaction. "Are you…scared of Metal and Shadow?"

"Yes!" the echidna shouted without thinking and quickly mended his answer. "I mean no!" He peeked at the two in question, tone meek. "Maybe?"

Shadow, pausing in his violent squeezing, narrowed his eyes at the red newcomer. If the other was scared of them… "You know who we are." It was more of a statement than a question, an aura of unenthusiasm radiating from him in waves.

"'Course I do!" Buff Knuckles pouted. "You guys-"

His next words were drowned out by the booming blast of an air horn.

Everyone cried out and covered their ears in extreme discomfort.

The deafening noise stopped as soon as it started however, making the recovering anthros look around in confusion.

"What in the _world_ was that?!" Amy loudly questioned, rubbing her ringing ears.

Eggman would pull on his mustache in agitation, but there was a very real danger of yanking every single strand out. "You know what it is! We just need to know _why_ so I won't go deaf in this nightmare of a house!"

Tails groaned and tried hard to keep any negative thoughts at bay because he didn't want to get on the _thing's_ bad side. "Well…" He glanced at the wincing echidna. "I think it happened because of him…for some reason."

"Because of _me?_ " The echidna repeated, not understanding. "But I didn't do anything! I was just talking about how Metal Sonic and Shadow-"

Everyone cried out when another horn attacked their eardrums.

"Okay!" Sonic panted when the sound cut off again. "No more talking about them, got it?"

"Got it…" Buff Knuckles whimpered. He gave the two in question a wary look before asking Sonic, "What in the heck happened? Where'd the sound come from?"

Sonic plopped back down in his chair with a heavy sigh, wanting to be done with this marathon even more now. His poor ears couldn't take much more. "It's…a long story."

"Ooo!" The echidna stood up from his 'hiding place', clapping his hands together. "Those are my favorite kind!"

Shadow went back to strangling his toy.

"We should probably tell him." If Amy had been dropped off in a random dimension without any warning, she'd want an explanation. And a massage or something because of the inevitable stress. "Hopefully we won't get horned for that too…"

Sonic understood from where she was coming from. Hopefully all of it stuck in the other's mind. "Alright, so." He addressed the attentive echidna. "The noise was caused by a…uh _thing_ that is keeping us all trapped in here. It usually messes with us like that when we do something it doesn't like."

"Or when it just wants to be entertained," Eggman grumbled.

Sonic nodded. "Yeah, that too. The _thing_ brought you to our dimension for some reason." His gaze flickered over to the TV, something clicking in his mind. "Most likely has somethin' to with the next episode we're gonna watch." At Buff Knuckles' confused look, he explained, "Oh yeah! This might sound a little creepy, but the _thing_ is making us watch your guys' dimension on TV."

"Seriously? That's awesome!" Buff Knuckles sat down on the floor, paying no mind to the charred carpet or the scattered confetti. "It's going be like watching home movies! Do you have any popcorn?"

Sonic blinked at him. Well, that was easy, but it _was_ the other Knuckles… "I think so! It's-"

"We do not have any."

The speedster furrowed his brow at Metal. "But-"

"Do not make me repeat myself." Metal wasn't going to let that echidna into the kitchen. He would most likely clean them out because of his size, and Metal still had an infinitesimally slim possibility of regaining the ability to taste. The food was _his_ property. Metal cut his stare at the echidna. "Do not move towards the kitchen."

Buff Knuckles crossed his arms and huffed. "You're bossy! I liked it better when you-"

Another blast of sound overpowered the pained cries it caused.

When it ended, Shadow debated shoving the stress-reliever into that echidna's big mouth. "Just _shut up!"_ he snarled at the red anthro, enjoying the resulting wince. His curiosity had risen because of the fact that he was in the show and apparently was terrifying, but anger easily overshadowed it. His ears were _sensitive._ "Stop talking about us, #$^&%*!"

All of Shadow's rage was nearly forgotten, replaced by confusion because nothing but warped gibberish had come out of his mouth at the end there. Everyone was staring at him, just as perplexed, and his furrowed his brow. "What the #$&%?" He covered his mouth in shock.

And Sonic burst out in laughter. "Is this…Is this seriously happening? This is rich!"

Amy hid her smile so she wouldn't be a target of a potentially unstable hedgehog. "Is…he being censored?"

Sonic laughed louder.

"Shut the _#$ &%_ up, Faker!"

The blue speedster cupped an ear. "What was that, Shads? Didn't quite catch that!"

Shadow gritted his teeth, wondering if going the hero route had been worth it.

Tails cradled his chin, completely befuddled. "He is! Which is weird, because he hasn't been before!" He glanced over to the newcomer, the echidna wide-eyed and speechless. "It has be because of him!"

"Stop blaming me for stuff!" Buff Knuckles waved his arms. "I'm innocent!" He paused. "I think!"

"You are not." Metal shut him down instantly, causing him to slump. The bot regarded everyone else. "I have a plausible theory. We have not heard any individuals of the other dimension utter an expletive, even in stressful situations. It is possible that they do not exist."

Getting himself back under control, Sonic waved the ridiculous statement off. "They're _words_ , Metal! They gotta exist! I'm sure the other Shads has a foul mouth too!" Sonic couldn't _wait_ until that striped faker was on screen. The other Knuckles was apparently scared of him, but for what reason?

The top-heavy echidna was going to comment on how weird it was that everyone got along with Metal Sonic and Shadow. He really didn't want to be pummeled into another wall by the hedgehog though. So instead, he asked, "An expletive? What's that?"

Sonic enlightened him. "Just robot-speak for curse words."

The echidna tilted his head. "What're those?"

There was a beat of silence, then: "I think Metal might be onto something," Tails reluctantly admitted. "And because they don't exist in the other world, the _thing_ doesn't…want to expose them to this Knuckles?"

"That's kinda sweet!" Amy didn't expect this from the same thing that put Shadow in a mentally draining time loop, but it was a pleasant surprise. "It still has a heart!"

"A corrupted one," Eggman groused, hoping that the echidna was better in real life than on TV. He wasn't too bad so far, and yes, he probably just jinxed himself. "But sure."

Nothing came from Shadow but harsh indecipherable gibberish.

Sonic smirked at his rival before properly answering the echidna. "Nothin' you need to worry about!" If the _thing_ was going so far to protect the other Knuckles' purity, he wasn't going to interfere with that.

Buff Knuckles blinked at him before smiling. "Okay! Whatever you say!" He faced the black TV screen. "Are we gonna watch my dimension now?"

"Yeah!" Sonic hopped out of his chair once more, about to retrieve their missing member. "But we can't start without our Knuckles!"

"Oh yeah, that's right!" The echidna nodded. "Tell him he needs to be faster at choosing shoes!"

Sonic snickered. "Will do!"

Amy waited until the blue hero was out of earshot before leaning forward and gaining Buff Knuckles' attention. She had a burning question to ask, and he should be the one to know. "Hey, quick question," she whispered. "Are your Amy and Sonic girlfriend and boyfriend?"

"Yeah!" The echidna answered without a second thought, and Amy's breath caught in her throat in excitement. Buff Knuckles then tapped his chin. "Well, they never told anyone they were together, never kissed, never held hands, never used pet names, they had lunch together once I think, but that was probably payback because Sonic had hid her hammer…"

Amy groaned and leaned back in her chair. He might as well had just said no! "Then why do _you_ think they're together?!"

The echidna pursed his lips. "Good question…" Tails chuckled as the pinkette ran a hand down her face. Buff Knuckles then asked, "Why did you wanna know? Are you and your Sonic together?"

Amy perked right back up. "Not yet, but I'm gonna get there someday! Don't you think we'd make a cute couple?"

The red anthro hummed before shrugging. "Eh. You should probably go for somebody taller."

"So, you believe that your Sonic and Amy are together without any proof-"

Tails was going to say that Amy was being a bit of a hypocrite, but he chose to let it slide.

"-but you think Sonic and I would make a _bad_ couple because an identical height difference?"

Buff Knuckles bobbed his head after a few seconds. "Kinda, yeah!"

"That _doesn't make any-"_

Tails reached over and patted the pinkette on the shoulder, getting her to take a couple deep breaths. Relationships were a uh…touchy topic for her, however…

"He's like a puppy, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah…" Amy breathed out. "Can't stay mad at a puppy."

"Puppies?" The echidna lit up like a neon sign. "Where?!"

Shadow's gibberish increased in volume.

With Sonic, he was having trouble convincing Knuckles to come out of the bathroom.

"C'mon, Knux!" He put a hand on his hip, smirking. "You know we can't start watchin' without you!"

"Don't care."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "We both know you do. Listen, he's not that bad! Honest!"

"You don't know that."

"I _did_ have a conversation with him."

"For all of five minutes. Sometimes the stupidity is delayed, Sonic, and I really don't feel like dealing with the aftermath of punching him in the face."

"You won't-"

"It's inevitable."

Sonic sighed, leaning against the door. "Just try, okay? I have a feelin' that he's just gonna be here for this next episode anyway, then he'll go back home! And who knows? You two might become friends!"

The speedster stepped back when a lock clicked, the door opening to reveal an unenthusiastic echidna. "That'd be a cold day in #&*%."

Sonic snorted, and Knuckles groaned before trudging back to the living room. Forget his twin's purity, Knuckles' _sanity_ needed to be protected, second only to Shadow's.

When he returned to the large space, Knuckles avoided eye contact as he reclaimed his seat.

Unfortunately, his twin wasn't keen on social cues.

"Hey!" Buff Knuckles jabbed a finger at the guardian's shoes. "You didn't change!"

Knuckles had opened his mouth to flat out refuse, but he realized who he was talking to…and how to deal with him. He rose a brow at his twin. "You said that _you_ were going to change."

"What? No, I didn't!" he opposed, scratching his head after a moment of intense thought. "Wait, did I?" The echidna frowned. "I'm not stupid! I remember that I told you to!"

"Did you?"

"Yes!"

" _Did_ you?"

"I…" Buff Knuckles faltered, and Knuckles thought that the next eleven-ish minutes wouldn't be so bad.

Sonic kinda felt sorry for the guy. "Cut him some slack, Knux!" He grinned when both echidnas looked at him, an idea popping in his mind. "How about this: let's settle this little argument with an old-fashioned arm wrestle? Whoever loses gets rid of their shoes and has to get nicknamed!"

Knuckles glared at him because his plan had been working. Sometimes he hated that speedster's conscience.

"Ooo!" Of course his double was all for the idea. "That's perfect!" He laughed and sent Knuckles a jeering smile. "It's gonna be an easy win for me! Look at those noodle arms!"

On second thought, Knuckles was glad that Sonic brought the competition up. He hopped out of his chair and clenched a fist. "Noodle arms? We'll see about that!" Knuckles glanced up at the ceiling and barked, "Table!" A small yet sturdy table appeared in the middle of the room.

Buff Knuckles gasped in surprise. "What in the-"

"Doesn't matter." The guardian clipped as he went over and propped his elbow on the flat surface, more than ready. "Get over here!"

His twin got over the initial surprise quickly, smirking. "So eager to lose, huh?" He approached and thumped his elbow on the table, tightly gripping Knuckles' hand. "Bring it on!"

Tails' namesakes swished in excitement. "This is going to be interesting!" He was confident that Knuckles was going to win, but who really knew?

"I feel bad for the table," Amy commented, wondering if it would hold up during the match.

Eggman crossed his arms and huff. "Just _start_ already so we can get on with the blasted episode."

"I'll count down!" Sonic suggested, and the echidnas tightened their grips. Knuckles narrowed his eyes while the other's grin widened. "Three, two, one…start!"

Teeth gritted, muscles bulged, and a hand was slammed against the table within five seconds.

Knuckles smirked at the appalled face in front of him. "What were you saying about noodle arms?" He was relieved that he had won because no one would _ever_ let him live it down. It'd probably be recorded on his gravestone, courtesy of Sonic.

Metal nodded. "The outcome had been predictable."

"Yeah," Amy agreed. "But I didn't think that it would be over so quickly!"

"It's not over!" the twin shouted like last ten seconds hadn't happened. "I demand a do-over! I wasn't ready!"

"That's what they all say." Knuckles grunted, repositioning his arm. The smirk hadn't gone anywhere. "But fine."

Buff Knuckles was glaring now, ensuring a solid hold on the other's hand. "Count down again!" he told Sonic. "Go slower this time!"

That wouldn't change the outcome, but Sonic was willing to humor him anyway. "'Kay! Three…two…one…" He drawled the 'n' out before exclaiming, "Start!"

Muscles tensed again as the echidnas pushed against each other. However, unlike last time, there wasn't a quick winner. Buff Knuckles clenched his jaw as he fought while Knuckles' smirk seemed to be permanently etched into his muzzle.

There arms were stuck at a stalemate until it slowly leaned in the newcomer's favor, steadily lowering. Buff Knuckles smiled at his lead, but it promptly vanished when his arm arced and slammed against the table once more.

The red anthro gaped while Knuckles scoffed. "You thought you were winning? My bad."

"You hear that?" Sonic held an imaginary microphone. "That's the sound of someone's pride being flushed down the toilet, never to be seen again."

Tails was torn between awed and sympathetic. "That was a little harsh, Knuckles…"

"It was needed," Shadow argued, his mood rising only marginally.

Knuckles' twin stuttered as he looked over his own hands, flabbergasted. "But h-how?" He met the guardian's smug gaze. "How are you that stronger than me?!" Before the other could answer, he reached over table and shook Knuckles' shoulders. "Tell me your secrets! What's your workout routine? How many reps do you do? How much protein do you put in your shakes? Why do your muscles still look tiny and pathetic?"

Knuckles deadpanned. "Let go, Noodles."

Sonic, Tails, and Amy snickered behind their hands as the other echidna slowly blinked. "Noodles? What – oh." He dropped his arms. "That's my nickname, huh?" He rubbed his stomach with a smile. "Mmm reminds me of pasta…"

Knuckles inwardly groaned as he walked to his chair. Of _course_ the nickname that was supposed to remind his twin about his forever inferior strength instead brought him joy and reminded him of _pasta._

It was an amazing food, but still.

"Nevermind!" Knuckles plopped down in his seat, eyeing the other. He doubted that his twin would take any name as an insult, so, "Your name's Mittens." That was emasculate enough to make Knuckles feel better about his win, if nothing else. "Because for _some_ reason, you're not wearing them."

Mittens glanced down at his free fingers. "What's wrong with gloves?"

"They just look weird on you."

"Well, _you_ look weird with short legs, but I hadn't said anything about it."

"Ohhhhhhhh-"

"Sonic, you're shorter than me, so _shut it._ "

Mittens laughed at how both echidna and hedgehog pouted. However, it was cut off when the table beside him transformed into a plastic chair. "Oh!" He sat in it and grinned at the ceiling. "Thank you!"

Eggman scowled upwards. "You can get him a seat without asking, but you can't get me _proper clothing?"_ He'd love pants that he could actually wear, and a shirt that was nothing more than an oversized blanket.

After reluctantly taking off his shoes, Mittens focused on the man's attire and scrunched his nose. "Why does it hate you so much? The magic ceiling seems so nice besides trapping you all in here!"

"You don't know the half of it," Eggman grumbled, and most of the room shared his sentiments.

The buff echidna then gasped. "Ooo! I have an idea!" Everyone didn't know what to expect when he regarded the mysterious being once more, "Can I have some popcorn?" A steaming bag of buttered popcorn appeared in his hands. Mittens did a little dance in his chair before tossing some in his mouth. "Why don't you guys just ask to leave?"

Sonic knew that the _thing_ was being so nice just to get a reaction out of them. A valiant effort, but it wasn't going to win this time. "Already have! Guess it has a soft spot for ya!"

"Well, try again since I'm here!"

"That's not-" Sonic cut his argument short because he was sure that the other would keep on insisting. After glancing over at Tails – who shrugged – Sonic asked the air, "Can we leave?"

Something like a force-field dissipated in front of the open doorway of the home.

Multiple eyes swiveled toward the exit, but no one moved.

"Huh." Sonic slowly blinked. "Did _not_ expect that to work."

Knuckles narrowed his gaze. "I trust Rouge to watch the Master Emerald more than I trust _that._ I even trust a pile of dirt more."

Tails' body was itching to move, but his brain was screaming otherwise. "Is this a trick?"

"It has to be, right?" Amy wrung her fingers together. "We've-"

The rest of her words died off when there was a sudden gust of wind, and Shadow was now standing at the opening. The striped hedgehog held a hand out, meeting zero resistance as his arm crossed the threshold.

He didn't waste a second.

Shadow blasted away with a thunderous clap, breaking the sound barrier as he beelined back to the city. The world around him blurred as the wind whipped across his face, signifying the freedom that he _finally_ had.

The distance between him and Station Square was steadily decreasing, bringing him closer to his bed. He didn't dare look back because he was done with that house and all of the shit he'd gone through. He felt like he could be able to sleep for a week, responsibilities be damned.

Shadow pushed his muscles, wishing that he had an emerald to teleport instantly in his bedroom. However, with his speed, he should be resting his head on a pillow within two minutes.

He dashed through the city's limits and crashed right into an unforgiving wall.

Sharp pain spread all throughout his front, but Shadow was numb as he peeled off the wall and sprawled out on the floor. He stared up at a familiar ceiling, disturbed confetti settling back down.

On the inside, he was screaming terrible words never to reach young ears, but on the outside, Shadow muttered, "Every nerve in my body is filled with hatred and rage, vibrating, itching to tear anything apart until it stops existing."

The rest of the occupants of the room looked at Shadow and then at the open door. They quietly returned to their seats in disappointment.

Mittens paused in chewing his popcorn, eyeing the prone hedgehog on the floor. "Uh…am I the only one scared of him?"

"Nope." Sonic leaned back in his chair, managing a smirk. "You'll just get used to it." Trying not to feel too bad about the snatched freedom, he addressed Shadow, "You gonna get up, Shads?"

"If I move, I can't ensure any of your safety."

"Yeah…just stay there and cool down for a bit."

"Can we just play the episode while my shattered soul heals itself?" Amy whined.

Mittens held out his snack. "Some popcorn should help! It's good for the soul!"

"I doubt it, but thanks." Amy reached out, and he poured some into her open palm. She tossed the popcorn into her mouth and hummed. "Buttery."

The echidna smiled faced the TV once more. "So, what are we watching? What did you see before this one?"

"We don't know about this one yet," Tails supplied, replaying Shadow's crash in his mind because it looked _brutal_ and pride killing. "But the last one was about your Sonic retiring for a bit."

"Retiring?"

"Yeah, because your friend Mike got hurt when you took him to a battle with Eggman."

"…Mike?"

Sonic held up a hand before Tails could try again, silencing the kit. The speedster recalled the episode for a moment and said, "When you were tryin' to see that movie…what was it? Something about a jungle fighter?"

Mittens snapped his fingers in comprehension. "Right! _Jungle Fighter 3: Revenge of the Jungle Fighter!_ " He chuckled. "I remember know! It was a while ago, but wow. Sonic had been really mad, but I – the great friend that I am – managed to talk him out of retiring! Good times!"

Amy frowned. That wasn't how it went at all. "You didn't-"

"Just play it." Knuckles sighed. There was no point in correcting the memory.

She pouted but did so anyway, not liking how Mittens took the credit for everything when he basically did the exact opposite. Amy was soon distracted by the name of the episode however. "'Two good to be true'? Sounds like two of _something_ is going to happen."

"It explains him." Eggman frowned at the screen. "But _please_ don't tell me we have to watch two of those dumb echidnas."

Knuckles blanched.

Mittens nodded while smacking. "Yeah, that would be – wait. _Hey!_ " He threw a kernel that Eggman didn't care enough to dodge. "You're way meaner than my Eggman!"

"I'm glad you figured that out by yourself."

**The scene started off with robots being destroyed in a clearing. An intact motobug rolled onscreen only to be chased down by a wrench-wielding Tails. However, Amy smashed the bot with her hammer before he could do any damage.**

"Remember any of this, Mittens?" Tails asked even though he had a suspicion that the answer was no.

The echidna shook his head. "Nah. We fight robots so often that it all blurs together! Like milk and chocolate syrup when you shake it up!"

"Interesting analogy, but it works."

**Off to the side, Sticks shouted as she threw her boomerang, destroying one of the crab bots. It crumbled to pieces, and Eggman's octopus robot revealed itself from the bushes. Inside, Eggman aimed its cannon, firing a glob of ink in Sonic's direction.**

**The blue speedster slipped on it as he ran forward. He flailed his arms to keep from taking a tumble. "Uh, I could use some help here!"**

"Uh…help with what?" Sonic didn't think it was possible to slip on oil like that while also on sand, but here they were. "Keepin' his balance?"

Mittens smirked. "Sonic's always been like that! Just a total mess, really."

Metal glanced over at the echidna. "Have you ever looked in a mirror?"

"All the time!" He flexed his muscles again. "Gotta make sure these stay in tip-top shape to take down bad guys like you!"

"It was meant as an insult."

"It wasn't a very good one then!"

**Dave approached with a green and yellow launcher, smirking. "I'm all over it." He ignored Sonic when eventually fell to the ground with a huff. "Anyone order a butt kicking with a side of pain and extra humiliation sauce?"**

"Dave?" Tails furrowed his brow, not expecting this. "He's fighting on their side now? Since when?"

"This is already going in a direction I don't like," Knuckles groused.

**A multitude of burgers were launched out of the weapon and right at the octopus bot.**

Amy wasn't surprised that those 'food' items had been weaponized. They were dangerous enough _not_ being shot out at a high velocity.

**Eggman growled as he was bombarded, pressing a button that shot out a blue beam.**

**It exploded right at Amy's feet; she yelled as she was hurled helplessly into the air. Before she hit the ground, Knuckles sped over on two hoverboards and caught the pinkette with ease.**

**Knuckles grinned at her. "I always knew you'd fall for me."**

**Amy dreamily sighed.**

Amy choked on her spit.

Knuckles laughed. Hard.

Tails was in shock.

Mittens tapped his chin, getting butter on it. "You'd think that I remember that happening…"

Sonic couldn't control his laughter. "Guess the other me wasn't good enough for the other you, huh Ames?"

Once she got her throat to stop spasming, Amy stood up and waved her arms in the air. "No no no! What's happening?! This shouldn't be happening!"

"Why?" Mittens snorted. "Is it so surprising that she chose someone more muscular-" He flexed. "-better looking-" He flexed again. "-and charminger-" He flashed a wide smile. "-to fall for?"

Amy didn't say anything because he was a puppy and hurting a puppy's feelings was frowned upon.

"But wait!" Tails pointed at him. "You said that you think Sonic and Amy are together, so she's not um…with you, right?"

Mittens went back to eating his popcorn. "Right! She doesn't know what she's missing out on!"

_I think she knows,_ the kit thought before continuing, "What's going on now, then?"

"Great question, Tails!" Sonic eventually calmed down with a pleased sigh. "Let's watch and see." He had half the mind to ask for some popcorn too, but with his luck, it would be drugged or something.

**Inside his robot, Eggman was shaking a fist. "Knuckles the Echidna! My arch nemesis…"**

**Knuckles, having put Amy down, glared. "You never learn, do you, Egghead? You'll never defeat my team!"**

"Whoa, pump the brakes!" Sonic rose a brow. "Okay, so has to be another dimension, right?" It made sense. Mittens was here with them and the other echidna had _never_ sounded so articulate.

"It has to be!" Amy explosively sighed in relief as she sat back down, crises averted. Well, it still was weird that an Amy had a crush on a Knuckles – a buffy one, no less – but at least they weren't actively following _that_ story. "Thank goodness!"

Knuckles' laughter finally trailed off. "I sorta wish it was the main dimension because your reactions, Amy, would have been _gold._ " She puffed out her cheeks at him, but the echidna disregarded the look. He never thought he'd be thinking this; however, he was interested in his other other self. "Please tell me that this one isn't as bad as-"

"I think I know that guy!" Mittens interrupted him, and Knuckles glared. His twin didn't seem to mind. "Yeah, I remember him! He's the Knuckles that-"

A booming horn blast attacked all of their ears.

Maybe Metal could hold off on the perks of being alive a little while longer.

When Mittens lowered his hands with a pitiful groan, he felt a heated glare on him. Turning his head, he was met with molten scarlets somehow promising worst things than destruction of his home dimension.

Shadow, still on the floor, calmly uttered, "I will strangle you."

The echidna gulped.

"Alright." Sonic rejoiced when he could still hear his own voice while his ears begged for mercy. "To keep us from having permanent hearing damage and to keep Shadow from attackin' you, how about we keep the spoilers to a minimum, yeah?"

Mittens hastily nodded, thinking that the magical ceiling wasn't so nice after all.

"Can't we just tape his mouth _shut?_ " Eggman scowled, his ever-occurring headache returning.

"Seconded." Knuckles had never agreed with Eggman this strongly before. "Do we have _any_ duct tape laying around?"

"That's a little harsh, Knuckles." Amy rubbed her abused ears and focused on the other echidna. "He just has to remember to not bring it up, right Mittens?"

The newcomer tilted his head. "Bring what up?"

Drastic times called for drastic measures. Amy whispered to Knuckles, "Do you think the _thing_ would give it to us if we asked?"

"It likes seeing us suffer," Knuckles huffed. "So, no."

**Sonic quickly sidled up to him with a smile. "We're a team? We should get matching uniforms!"**

" **Oh, Sonic," Knuckles began like he was talking to a child. "Uniforms, by definition, match." The echidna patted him on the head as a good job for listening, Sonic accepting the gesture. Knuckles dropped his hand, saying, "Now if you'd excuse me, the** _ **grown ups**_ **have some work to do." He ran off as Sonic watched in awe.**

Sonic was gaping, temporarily speechless. It seemed like his double and the other other Knuckles had switch places, but the echidna was _way_ more patronizing.

He eventually found his words, saying, "Knux, if you ever talk to me like that, all of the grapes on your island may or may not go missing."

Knuckles knew that Sonic wouldn't actually do that. Not when he could easily threaten the speedster's chili dog supply. "The only way he's getting away with it is because that Sonic doesn't care at all." He snorted, entertained by the idea. "Again, I wish that dimension was the actual one we were following."

"Why?" Mittens asked him, finishing off his popcorn. "The dimensions aren't that much different! Sonic pretty much acts the same, and I'm an amazing leader, no matter the time or place!"

Knuckles wasn't going to waste the effort to explain, and Sonic just rolled with it.

"But…" Tails didn't want to burst the echidna's bubble, however, "Isn't your team called Team Sonic, though?"

Mittens held his nose high. "That's only a placeholder until I can come up with a cooler name!"

"Have you come up with one yet?"

"Plenty!"

Tails was trying really hard, but he wasn't following this. "Then why-"

"I have to get the names approved by Sonic, my number two!" Mittens jollily explained. "Nothing sounds good enough for him yet!"

Well, that cleared everything up. "Uh," Tails smiled and gave him a thumbs up. "Good luck with finding a name!"

"Thanks!" Mittens returned the smile. "Nice to know that Tails is nice and supportive in every dimension!"

Tails' expression softened at that, but before he could respond, Sonic jumped into the conversation. "He always is!" He grinned. "Like how I'm always a fun-loving hero!"

Eggman rolled his eyes. "What, can't imagine a scenario where we switch rolls, cactus? With me being the hero who always wins and you being the villain who can't have _one_ victory to his name?"

"So, you admit to your failures?" Metal had to ask.

Eggman refused to respond.

"I'm pretty sure that I would always win as the villain, but that's beside the point." Sonic waved the idea off before tapping his chin. "I just can't see myself being an actual bad guy! I'm too loveable for that!"

Tails, Mittens, and Amy agreed, Knuckles scoffed, Eggman released an exasperated sigh, and Metal and Shadow remained quiet because there was no point in arguing.

* * *

A powerful sneeze filled the air, and Scourge paused in what he was doing to wipe his nose, uncaringly smearing his muzzle with blood.

"Damn allergies," he muttered before wailing once more on the pathetic mongrel beneath him. The dog's broken whimpers were barely audible, his whole body jerking when Scourge landed another punch to the nose.

The green hedgehog grabbed the canine's chest hair and yanked until they were nose-to-nose, those unfocused eyes meeting his chilling blues. Scourge growled. "The next time you bring me hot dogs with no chili, I'm gonna test how many punches a mutt like you can take before keelin' over. Understand?"

Terror was etched into the other's expression as he nodded.

"Good. Now…" Scourge smirked, it void of mirth. "Where's my apology?"

"S-Sorry, King Scourge." The scraggy dog whined. "I w-won't do it a-again."

The hedgehog chuckled with a sneer. "Atta boy." He stood, tugging the shivering mongrel up to his feet as well. Scourge pushed him away, snorting at the resulting stumble. "Fetch me a meal I can actually _eat,_ will ya?"

"Yes s-sir…" The canine stammered with his ears plastered and tail tucked. He wobbled out of the ill-lit room, leaving a red-dotted trail behind him.

Scourge tisked when the dog left. "Can't ever find decent help 'round here." He sniffed and glanced around at all of the dust caking the throne room. He scrunched his nose. "And where the hell is that mouse who's supposed to clean-"

"Gone." He glanced over his shoulder to spot Fiona leaning against the arm of his throne, eating one of those disgustingly bland hot dogs. The red vixen flipped a hand. "Took her out last week, remember?"

"…Oh yeah, caught her pouring bleach into my milk."

A sly smile adorned Fiona's face, her tail swishing languidly. "The woes of being the king of Moebius."

Scourge's grin was filled with sharp teeth. "Nothin' compared to the perks."

The vulpine tipped her hot dog at that before uttering, "You know that dog is going to be unconscious in under five minutes."

"Yeah, probably."

"…That means _you_ have to get the food yourself."

"Ugh."

* * *

Sonic beamed when he heard no opposition. "I'm glad we're all on the same page!"

**Knuckles revved up his boards again, sending one flying into a remaining crab robot. The other crashed into the weak spot under the octopus bot. Black smoke spewed from the machine as it fell out of the sky.**

**Knuckles flipped into the air and punched the ground with enough force to produce powerful shockwaves to knock Eggman's large mech backwards.**

Mittens clapped loudly. "Heck yeah! You go, other me! Show them the power of bulging muscles!"

Knuckles couldn't say that he wasn't impressed with what was going on on-screen, but Mittens had caused him mental strain in the recent past. It was time for payback. "Apparently, bulging muscles aren't that strong."

The other echidna slumped. "You really didn't have to say that."

**It crash-landed and simultaneously shot out two beams: one red and one blue. They rebounded off a tree and combined into a thick purple ray, aiming right for a stunned Knuckles.**

" **No!" Sonic jumped to push him out of the way, but he was too late. The ray blasted Knuckles, making him disappear from sight.**

"So that's how he probably gets into the other dimension," Tails pondered. "I totally didn't expect lasers though. I thought the Chaos emeralds would be involved somehow."

Sonic was more preoccupied that his uh… _simpler_ twin had been too slow. No Sonic should be too slow _ever._ It had to be defying some kind of scientific law somewhere.

It seemed like confusion was a constant in Mitten's life, for he pursed his lips. "The Chaos emeralds? What are those?"

Amy shook her head like she couldn't believe what she had heard. "You don't…You don't know about the Chaos emeralds?!" Even citizens here that had _never_ dealt with them before at least knew their name!

"Hold up." Knuckles frowned at Mittens' clear negative. "Do you know about the Master Emerald?"

"Uh…" His twin looked completely lost. "Should I?"

Knuckles' brain was struggling to process this. He couldn't imagine not having the Master Emerald to protect. It was his sole duty, his responsibility, and his double had _no_ knowledge of it.

Well, considering his particular skillset, maybe that was a good thing.

"Wait, so you don't know about 'em," Sonic said, and Mitten's shook his head. "And none of your pals mentioned them at all?" There was another headshake, and Sonic furrowed his brow, asking the room, "But they have to exist, right?"

"Yeah!" Tails agreed, mind whirling. "Because of how the Master and Chaos emeralds contribute to life energy and well," he glanced over to Shadow, who still hadn't had the urge to get up. "Shadow wouldn't…be _Shadow_ without them."

"Not necessarily." Eggman stroked his mustache in thought. "It's a different _world_ , rodents. There could be some other powerful energy, or none at all." He hummed in thought. "If the latter's the case, then I could take over that dimension by lunchtime."

Mittens punched his fists together. "As if we'll let you do that!" He then paused, a pensive expression on his face. "Unless you share your lunch with us afterwards."

Scratch that, Eggman would be a world leader by breakfast.

"Are you sure that you haven't seen any magical gems anywhere?" Tails inquired, acting like he hadn't heard that strange proposition.

"Nope!" Mittens chirped. "But they sound cool! What do they do?"

"They enable me to cause death and destruction within a specific radius with a massive scorching blast."

Metal nodded at Shadow's statement. "They have facilitated murder in the past."

"Huh." Mittens slowly blinked at those two before facing the heroes, a note of hysteria in his voice. "And uh…why exactly are they _good_ things, again?"

Sonic chuckled to ease the atmosphere. "Don't listen to them! The emeralds do _way_ more good stuff than bad stuff! Pretty cool to look at, too." Remembering a specific bat's absence, the speedster perked up. "And you might even be able to see one!" He glanced at the others. "You guys think Rouge is close to findin' the emerald?"

There were shrugs all around.

"I wish we could somehow tell her that we don't really need it anymore…" Amy brought up.

"Rouge?" Mittens had a complete arsenal of questions. "Is that another friend?"

Amy leaned forward a bit, the echidna pulling out surprise after surprise. "You don't have a Rouge in your dimension?" Maybe it wasn't that surprising. They hadn't known a Sticks before all of this. "I bet she'd love to meet you! She's-"

"Nobody." Knuckles quickly cut her off, dreading the idea of Rouge coming back, seeing Mittens, and making his day a hundred times worse. Rouge watching him on _TV_ had been bad enough. "She's no one you should worry about because you'll be gone soon enough anyway."

Sonic smirked at him, and Knuckles preemptively braced himself for what's to come. "What's that tone, Knux? You're so against her coming back, for what reason?"

"Because she's _annoying_."

"Or…" Those emerald eyes shined mischievously. "You don't want her seeing Mittens there cuz she likes him."

"She doesn't- _"_

"Jealousy doesn't look good on ya, Knux, just so you know."

"I'm _not-"_

"Metal, you wanna pitch in?"

Metal focused on the red-faced echidna. "I detect jealousy."

Knuckles growled at him before launching himself at a cackling Sonic. The hedgehog yelped when he was tackled, them both crashing to the ground.

Mittens cheered as they wrestled around on the floor. "Woo! Pin him down, other me!" There was no response other than laughter from Sonic and angry gibberish from Knuckles. Mittens glanced over to a deadpanning Tails and Amy. "What was that all about?"

Tails rubbed the back of his neck. "It's…complicated."

"And Knuckles isn't very good at handling complicated, so he kind of just attacks." Amy explained further.

"Oh! He's just like me, then!" Mittens concluded. "Except for the attacking part. Whenever my Tails starts talking, I zone out half the time and think about kittens."

Amy giggled and whispered, "I think people do that when talking to _any_ Tails."

"Hey!" Hearing that, Tails puffed out his cheeks. "Not everyone! I'm sure Eggman can understand me just fine!"

Amy waved him off. "He doesn't count."

"Don't drag me into this." Eggman glared. "But she's right, I don't."

Tails slumped, and Amy went to assure him that she was just kidding while Mittens laughed.

"Uncle! Uncle!"

All attention – except Shadow's, who was replaying running free in his head many times – was drawn to Sonic tapping the ground. Snickers spilled out of his mouth even though Knuckles was sitting on him, twisting his arm behind his back. "I give! Got that all out of your system, now?"

Knuckles narrowed his eyes, wishing for tape for Sonic instead of his twin. He believed that everyone would appreciate the silence. "Is it all out of _your_ system?"

"Well…" Sonic subtly winced when his shoulder began to protest the manhandling. "I'll stop teasin' about Rouge if you stop about Ames, truce?"

"That's going to last all of ten minutes."

"Enjoy the peace while you can, yeah?"

Figuring that he wasn't going to get anything more out of Sonic, Knuckles sighed in exasperation before getting off the speedster and returning to his seat. Sonic's smile refused to leave as he picked up his chair and did the same.

"Are you done acting like ill-behaved _children_?" Eggman sharply grumbled.

"Absolutely not," Sonic chirped.

He should've expected that.

**Sonic slid on the sand, smiling as he caught a chili dog. "Got it! That was almost the worst disaster imaginable." He stood back up and bit the 'dog, groaning at the taste.**

**Tails and Amy were sitting at a decorated table outside of Amy's shack, and Sticks was grilling some food beside them.**

"So, this is the regular dimension now?" Amy really hoped it was. Introducing any more worlds would become real confusing real fast.

Tails nodded. "Looks like it!"

**They all snapped their focus onto the red echidna that flickered into existence.**

**Sticks gasped and shouted, "Ah! Kill it with fire!"**

" **Calm down!" Tails placated. "It's just Knuckles."**

" **Oh." Sticks blinked before shouting once more, "Kill Knuckles with fire!"**

"Yep, that's Sticks alright!" Mittens gleefully quipped.

Tails was more than a little concerned. "Would she actually try to set you on fire if given the chance?"

"Not just me! She'd probably set anyone on fire if she wasn't scared of aliens in UFOs noticing the rising fumes."

Tails processed that sentence for a moment before asking, "U…FOs?"

Mittens shrugged. "Her words, not mine."

Tails thought it would be wise to leave that topic alone.

**Still holding his chili dog, Sonic grinned at the echidna. "Cool entrance, Knux."**

**Amy wasn't as impressed. "You were supposed to get hamburger buns."**

Pushing the last fifteen seconds out of his mind, Sonic tapped his foot. "Wait, so they're not fazed at all by Mittens just popping in randomly? They're used to teleportation even though there might not be any emeralds?"

"This is so weird…" Amy muttered. It wasn't as weird as Sticks, though. Nowhere close.

**Knuckles rose an uncertain brow. "In mid battle?" He frowned. "Sweet Amy, there will be time for your delicious burgers after we've defeated that dastardly deviant Eggman."**

Knuckles snorted. "Someone's read the dictionary."

**Sonic approached the table, amazed. "Nice vocab."**

" **And impressive alliteration." Tails tilted his head. "You've been taking night classes?"**

**Then, another Knuckles walked up with a tray filled with hamburger buns.**

Mittens gasped and frantically pointed at the screen. "That's me! That's me, that's me!" He leaned forward in excitement. "Is everyone looking? I'm right there, right _there!_ It's like I'm starring in an awesome movie! I'm-"

"If you say _right there_ again, I will find a way to tell your Sonic that you lost to me." Knuckles threatened.

Mittens clammed up, and it was nice to know that Sonic was a horror in other dimensions too.

" **Hey guys." He stopped to inspect the other echidna there, smiling. "Who's the beefcake?"**

All eyes landed on Mittens, and he recovered from Knuckles' threat. "What?" He began, a tad defensive. "I knew who he was! I was just…" He trailed off, floundering for an explanation. "Testing if they knew?"

Amy rose a brow. "That was a horrible lie, and you know it."

"The pressure got to me!"

**The scene cut to inside the shack, where the two Knuckles were sitting on a couch with the rest of the team eyeing them.**

" **They really look alike…" Sticks started with a critical gaze. "We need to figure out how to tell them apart."**

"Luckily you two look so different!" Tails commented, glancing at Knuckles and Mittens. "We didn't have to do anything extra to tell you apart!"

The guardian propped his chin on his palm. "Wouldn't have been hard. He still would've been shoe-less."

Mittens pouted. "I still think that was a fluke!"

"Both times?"

"Yeah!"

"Have you ever fought against a giant amorphous water monster and won?"

"…a what?"

"Exactly."

" **I know!" Amy chirped when an idea came to her. "Our Knuckles can wear something to distinguish himself!" Some of her enthusiasm waned when she asked, "But which one is our Knuckles?"**

**One of the echidnas sat forward. "Well, that depends… What does distinguished mean?"**

Sonic snickered. "Bingo."

**Amy ran off and came back with a blue party hat.**

" **No way!" Knuckles harshly opposed. "I'm not wearing that!"**

Amy furrowed her brow, throwing her question at the newer echidna. "Why not?"

Mittens huffed. "Because those hats are just for kids! And I'm not a kid!"

"But…you made those paper hats for my twin's camp thing."

"That was a _totally_ different situation!" Mittens crossed his arms and muttered, "I worked hard on that hat."

**The other Knuckles hopped to his feet, unbothered. "I'd be honored to wear your ridiculous hat, my dear." He went over and donned the hat, snapping the rubber under his neck.**

**Amy sighed dreamily.**

Amy shot to attention, jabbing a finger at the television. "No! No! You stop that right _now,_ young lady!" The other other Knuckles might be suave and eloquent, but that gave her no right to fall for him! "Remember, steroids might be involved with those echidnas!"

Mittens gaped at her. "You think I take steroids?"

"Not anymore after that loss."

"I dunno if I should feel relieved or insulted…"

**Sonic was pleasantly surprised with what he was seeing. "He may look like Knuckles, but he sure doesn't talk like him."**

**Knuckles glared. "Hey! I talk gooder than you!"**

Mittens grinned, proud of that comeback, while everyone else resisted the urge to sigh.

**Tails cradled his chin in thought. "There's a perfectly rational explanation for this." There was a long pregnant silence while the kit thought and the others waited. Eventually, Tails shrugged. "I…just haven't figured it out yet."**

"He killed some time," Metal started. "I appreciate his efforts if only for that sole reason."

**There was a collective groan.**

**Hat-Knuckles stood by the kit's side and consoled, "Worry not, young Tails. Be diligent!" He put a firm hand on his shoulder. "In time, the answer will seek you."**

" **Whoa…" Knuckles breathed out. "I sound like a fortune cookie!"**

Mittens chuckled, remembering saying that, while Sonic smirked at Knuckles. "Didn't you say that during the last episode, Knux?"

"Shut up."

**The echidna bit his arm, slumping in disappointment. "But I don't taste like one."**

Amy was starting to worry about their new friend. "Again…why?"

"I was curious!" Mittens defended himself.

**Hat-Knuckles ignored him. "There's only one person smart enough to unravel this enigma…"**

**They were now standing in Meh Burger with Dave at the counter. "Welcome to Meh Burger. Can I take your order?"**

Sonic busted out laughing. " _Dave?_ That other dimension is really somethin' else!"

Amy was less focused on Dave, zeroing in on the existence of Meh Burger as a whole. And trying not to gag. She frowned at Mittens. "Why in the _world_ do you eat there so much? Do you even know what's _in_ those burgers?!"

"Nope!" He admitted shamelessly. "It's the goodest thing around!" Tails cringed. "Amy's the only one who knows how to cook without causing a fire, but lately she's been mad at me for fishing in her shack."

Those words were so outrageous that even Shadow's baffled stare landed on him.

"Her shack flooded one day, and I wanted to make the best out of it! Is that so wrong?"

Amy couldn't wrap her mind around this. "Where…did the fish come from?"

"Sticks-"

"That's all I need to know."

" **Dave!" Hat-Knuckles gleefully exclaimed. "I'm glad I found you, friend!" He leaned on the counter. "We** _ **need**_ **your brilliant mind."**

**Dave remained emotionless. "Sorry, we're all out of that. May I recommend the Meh-rib sandwich? They're only available for a limited time."**

"They sell _brain_ there?" Tails felt sick to his stomach. "That's horrible!"

"Heh, maybe it helps people gain some missin' IQ points."

"Eating it would cause terrible brain deteriorating diseases that can't be cured, Sonic."

"…Oh. Nevermind then."

" **What's going on here?" Hat-Knuckles was dumbfounded. "Everyone seems to be the opposite of their normal selves."**

**Tails pensively hummed before perking up. "I think I understand what's happening. They say it's available for a limited time to create a false demand!"**

Sonic stifled a snicker, and Tails couldn't help to smile. "I mean, he's not wrong."

Amy mentally filed away that info for future use.

**Sticks nodded. "** _**That's** _ **how they getcha!"**

" **Also-" Tails returned to the situation at hand, gesturing to Hat-Knuckles. "-I just figured out that this guy is from another dimension!"**

"What other explanation could there be?" Eggman asked in slight frustration. "That he's the buffoon's long-lost twin?"

"You act like that's impossible," Knuckles muttered. "I wouldn't be surprised if that's the plot of one of these episodes." He was one millisecond away from asking his double about it, but he remembered that he _liked_ his ability to hear.

" **Another dimension?" Sonic repeated dubiously. "You mean with duplicates of each of us?"**

**Sticks' eyes were wide as she held her head in her hands. "What if another one of** _**me** _ **shows up? I can't trust me. I'm a loose cannon!" She screamed in panic and ran off with everyone watching.**

"Yeah, that'd be a sight to see!" Sonic exclaimed. Either there would be constant fighting, or they would end up being friends, coming up with ever more insane conspiracy theories.

Or the village would end up burned to the ground. It was a toss-up, really.

**They relocated to Tails' workshop, and the kit began to explain what was happening. "For years it's been theorized that a mirror dimension exists parallel to our own."**

"More than one!" Amy said before her eyes widened. "Whoa…how many alternate dimensions do you guys think there are? There has to be more than just three!"

Mittens thought hard. "Probably seven."

"There's no way of knowing…" Tails tapped his chin, not really thinking about this before. He started counting on his fingers. "We're part of one, and we've seen two already on TV." He met Sonic's interested gaze. "You've been to Camelot and to the world of Arabian Nights, so that's two more."

"Don't forget about Blaze's dimension!" Amy reminded.

Tails nodded. "Right! So that's six, but I wouldn't doubt that there could be way more. There's no limit!"

The possibility of an infinite numbers of various dimensions, and Shadow strongly believed that no other Shadow was suffering more than him at the moment.

* * *

"I really don't understand why you're so upset."

"I'm not upset."

"That shredded pillow would beg to differ."

Shadow exhaled harshly as he looked at the pillow he'd ripped in half a few minutes before, its stuffing spread across his bed and the carpet.

Across the room, Knuckles settled down on his own bed, shrugging. "Look, it's not so bad here. We got all the perks the core fighters have, and-"

"I know." Shadow crossed his arms, giving him a pointed stare. "This is my _third_ tournament as an assist, echidna. Unlike for you, the glitz and glamor has worn off."

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Well, at least you've made friends here. I'm the new kid."

"I don't make friends."

The echidna rose a dubious brow. "Uh huh. That blonde kid with the giant golden hands looked eager enough to help move you in."

"It's a façade. We're both suffering internally."

Knuckles frowned. "Are you _that_ ticked off that they wanted you to be an assist again?"

"No," he said shortly, the echidna blinked at him in confusion. Shadow went on to ask, "Have you _seen_ the newest fighters?"

Realization flooded Knuckles features. "Oh, _that's_ what this is about."

A growl leaked into Shadow's voice. "I'm fine with that fire tiger or that dog secretary, but-"

He was cut off by knocks on their room door. "Hey, guys!" A familiar voice filtered through. "You in there?"

"Yeah!" Knuckles jumped up and went to open the door, revealing a smiling Sonic. "I'm guessing that you finished moving in?"

"Yep!" Sonic held up a fist, and the echidna bumped it. "And I wanted to see how you two were doin'!" The speedster stepped into the space, scanning the sizeable room and lingering on the ruined pillow. "Uh, did Chain Chomp somehow get in here?"

Knuckles snorted. "No. The Drama Queen over there can't get over how he was assigned."

Shadow glared at him.

"Oh c'mon, Shads!" Sonic faced the striped hedgehog. "I'm as disappointed as you are, but they made the choice for a reason, y'know?" Shadow's frown didn't let up. Sonic took a step back. "How about this, I got a housewarmin' gift for your first stay at the assist house, Knux, and to turn Shadow's frown upside down!"

He left with a pep in his step. Losing his glare, Shadow sent an inquisitive glance Knuckles' way. The echidna shrugged.

"Here it is!"

Shadow faced forward again only to see a brown pot, large leaves, white spots, and sharp teeth.

Rage raced through the hedgehog's veins as Knuckles raised a hand to smother his laughter.

Sonic, holding the plant, peaked around it with a knowing grin. "Like it?" The plant cocked its head, a large tongue lolling out of its mouth. Sonic snickered. "I know it's a big responsibility, but with enough sun and water-"

Shadow had to teleport out of there because if not, he would've blown up his room and then some.

He was now in the yard of the massive home, surprising some of the assists still moving in. Shadow disregarded them however, spotting a particular angel he might tear the wings off of.

He stomped over and snarled, "Did you see him go in there with that damn plant?"

Dark Pit answered with a simple, "Yep." Beside him, Lucario wordlessly nodded.

"Why didn't you _stop_ him?"

"I wanted to see you blow up." DP smirked. "Would've been hilarious."

Lucario looked back up at the multiple story house. "Sonic told me that you would enjoy the surprise."

"And you _believed him?_ "

"…Yes."

DP scoffed. "Liar."

"Both of you are dead to me."

* * *

Shadow inwardly sighed as the others talked more about dimensions. The next time the Commander wanted him to stay overnight to do some paperwork, Shadow going to walk out without a word.

**Sonic spoke up. "Theorized…" He trailed off at the appearance of the bow-tie beaver in the window. They stared each other down for a moment until Sonic continued with, "…by whom?"**

**Disappointed, the beaver slunk away.**

Amy believed that something was seriously wrong with that beaver. "What's with him and grammar? First the guilt tripping episode, and now this!"

Tails could sympathize with him now.

**Tails motioned to himself. "Theorized by me!" He turned to the echidnas. "You see, the two Knuckles are polar opposites. One is smart, sophisticated, charming, likeable, and a born leader."**

" **Thank you," the echidnas replied simultaneously.**

Knuckles just shook his head.

**Tails smirked. "And the other one thought I was talking about him."**

"That was so nice of Tails to spare the other me's feelings!" Mittens commented. "No one likes being the dumb twin!"

"It doesn't matter if they are oblivious."

Mittens looked at Knuckles. "Huh? What makes you say that?"

"Experience."

" **So how do we send him back?" Amy asked.**

" **That depends on how he got here in the first place," Tails replied, aiming his question at Hat-Knuckles. "Silly hat Knuckles, what's the last thing you remember?"**

**He recalled the events with a sure voice. "As I led my team to certain victory, Eggman's octopus bot was shooting red and blue energy beams. Two of them crossed, creating a purple beam. Sonic tried to save me…but he was too clumsy and fell."**

Sonic tisked in mock-disappointment. "A shame to all Sonic-kind."

" **Boy." Knuckles chimed in. "The two dimensions really aren't that different!"**

Amy wondered what went on in that echidna's head. "You know that your Sonic isn't that clumsy, right?"

"Yes, he is! You just haven't seen it!" Mittens adamantly argued.

" _Sure_ he is." Amy grinned. "When's the last time Sonic tripped on anything?"

"Last week!"

"And you?"

Mittens hummed. "Well, there was that time two days ago, and yesterday, and before I was-" He paused at the glint in her eyes before slumping in defeat. "I need to stop thinking out loud…"

**Tails cradled his chin. "Hm…I'll need some time to experiment so then I can replicate the beam frequencies."**

**Hat-Knuckles waved him off. "Forget that. If the Eggman of my dimension had the technology to send me here, the Eggman of yours should have what we need to send me back!"**

Eggman knew that the episode would make it around to his other self. "Is there _any_ day where my double doesn't show up?" he asked without thinking.

Mittens, also not thinking, opened his mouth to answer.

An air horn boomed, Eggman hated how anger made him just a little reckless, and Mittens feared for his life as Shadow sat up.

"I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!" the echidna pleaded when the painful noise went away. He hastily pointed over at the doctor. "It's his fault!"

"Wha-?" Eggman stiffened when molten scarlets focused on him. "You didn't have to answer me, you imbecile!"

"You didn't have to ask!"

"He's right." Sonic wished the ringing in his ears would go away a _little_ faster. "You didn't have to ask, Eggy."

Eggman glared at them before facing the striped hedgehog. "Shadow, if you want to get out of here, you have to let me live. With no broken bones preferably."

Shadow's glare never let up, but he never stood either. After a brief stare down, Shadow laid on the floor again. There was no point in wasting energy if there was nothing to show for it.

Eggman released a relieved sigh.

" **Great idea!" Amy was on board with this. "Let's go ask Eggman!"**

"Ask?" Amy didn't like the sound of that.

"Her attraction to the echidna has impacted her logical thinking."

"If you say that again, Metal, I will _personally_ melt you into a toaster the second we're out of here."

**He smirked. "Who said anything about asking?" He clenched a fist. "Let's take it! Better to ask for** _**forgiveness** _ **than permission."**

Amy perked up. "That's more like it!"

Knuckles wouldn't mind meeting that echidna. "Less talk and more action is the best way to handle situations like this."

**Knuckles was awed. "Wow! I sound like a whole** _**box** _ **of fortune cookies!"**

"Speaking of…" Mittens looked up. "Can I have a fortune cookie?" One popped into existence in his lap. "Thank you!" He unwrapped the treat, and before anyone could stop him, he plopped the whole thing in his mouth.

Tails reached a frantic hand out. "Wait! What about your fortune?"

Mittens swallowed and burped. "Guess we'll never know!"

" **Let's do this!" Hat-Knuckles prompted, strolling over to the door. "Follow me, team!"**

**Sonic stepped in his path and held out a halting hand. "Not so fast, Silly hat Knux. We're not** _**aggressors.** _ **" He lowed his arm, gesturing to the fox. "Tails will figure this out! We need to be patient."**

"Patient?" Knuckles snorted. "I'm surprised that a Sonic knows what that word means."

"I'm patient!" Sonic argued with a grin. "On the weekends and by appointments only."

"Wait, I'm confused. You're a patient?" Mittens gasped, concern etched into his features. "Are you sick?!"

"Uh, what? No, I'm-" When his brain finally processed the mess that was just said, Sonic let out a chuckle. "Nah, I'm fine, bud! Thanks for askin' though!"

Worry melted off of Mittens, and he beamed.

Knuckles blankly stared at Sonic. "You're just going to let that slide?"

"Yeah! Did you not see how worried he was?"

"I did. That's the issue."

"He's trying his best."

" **You can sit on the side-lines if you want," Hat-Knuckles argued. "But** _ **I'm**_ **taking action." He ran out of the workshop.**

**Knuckles walked up, looking lost. "I don't know what just happened, but I'm pretty sure we're mad at you guys." He ran off as well, but he picked the wrong direction and slammed into a wall.**

Knuckles glanced askance at Sonic, and the speedster uttered, "Well, his best isn't the same as your best, Knux. But it still counts."

**Later, Knuckles was sitting at a table by himself at Meh Burger. His chin was propped up with his palm as he sighed.**

**Sonic, Amy, and Sticks approached his table. "Oh, there you are, buddy." Sonic greeted once he was by his side. "I hope you're not mad about before." He motioned to a card with a sun on it that Amy revealed. "We got you a card to cheer you up."**

**Amy read the words on it out loud. "Sorry that the alternate dimension you is a jerk." She placed it on the table when she finished.**

Amy clasped her hands together. " _Aww –_ but wait, that doesn't make any sense. Knuckles likes Mittens, and the people who potentially won't like him are the rest of the team. So why are they giving him a card?"

Tails agreed with her, but, "He has to be sad for a reason, though…"

**Knuckles attempted to pick the gift up, but he grunted as he struggled to lift the paper. Amy and Sonic shared a concerned look until the echidna gave up.**

"I'm not usually that weak!" Mittens pointed out, mostly addressing Knuckles. "That's because-" Realizing what he was doing, he clamped his mouth shut.

"My ears thank you," Knuckles said, settling back in his chair. He had been ready to tackle the other to the ground.

**He slammed his fists down on the table. "Stupid card! I didn't want to lift it anyway!" Knuckles went to stand up, but his legs couldn't support his weight. He collapsed to the ground; his friends stared in shock.**

Well that came out of nowhere. "Is _he_ sick?" Sonic questioned with a subtle frown.

Mittens bit his tongue to keep from shouting something out that he would instantly regret.

**The scene then cut to Eggman's lair where Hat-Knuckles was destroying every robot that attacked him. However, after a punch to a bee bot, he flickered in and out of existence until solidifying again. The echidna didn't notice, continuing to pummel the rushing bots.**

Amy pursed her lips. "One, how do you _not_ notice that, and two, _what?!_ "

"I'm sure we're all thinking that," Knuckles muttered.

**Back at Tails' workshop, Knuckles was laying on a tabletop with a blanket covering him and a thermometer in his mouth. The rest of Team Sonic had surrounded him.**

**Knuckles glanced at Sticks. "I'm fine, guys** _**,"** _ **he murmured around the device hindering his speech. "I swear!"**

Mittens felt eyes on him and admitted, "Okay, that's like the only time I've lied."

**He flickered like his twin, and Sticks had to hit his head to get him to stop. "I hate it when he does that!"**

"Is…Is she treating him like a TV?" Eventually, Amy would learn to stop questioning Sticks' actions, but she hadn't mastered that lesson yet.

Knuckles grunted. "At least she isn't setting him on fire."

" **This must be tied to the other Knuckles…" Tails suggested.**

**Knuckles blinked at him. "You mean the guy with the hat?"**

"Who _else_ would he be-" Knuckles clenched his jaw. "Nevermind."

**Tails resumed like he hadn't spoken. "Having two of you in the same dimension is causing a catastrophic anomaly!"**

" **Aw, that's my least favorite kind!" the echidna commented before rethinking. "Well, that and mint chocolate chip." He made a sound of disgust.**

"Whoa!" Pushing the catastrophic anomaly to the side for the moment, Tails had to recover from the feeling of being punched in the gut. "How can you hate mint chocolate chip? It's two amazing flavors combined into one!"

Sonic was iffy about it. "I dunno, Tails." The kit gaped at him. "Think about it like this: you wouldn't mix soda and milk together, would you?" Tails stuck his tongue out in disgust. "See! Two great things don't always come together to make a better thing."

"But mint and chocolate are _different._ "

"It's disgusting, Tails."

"I've been betrayed."

**Sonic frowned. "Tails, English please?"**

" **Because both Knuckles are here-" the kit began again with simpler terms. "-the boundary between the two dimensions is eroding! Eventually, both will** _ **implode.**_ **We need them together so we can send the smart one back!"**

Amy glanced between the two echidnas in the room and then out of the closest window. The sky wasn't falling, so, "Is that really a thing? Because it isn't happening here!"

And Knuckles would appreciate it if his world stayed glued together. "Don't jinx us."

" _Please_ jinx us to end this." Shadow opposed.

"Hang in there a little while longer, Shads!" Sonic advised before addressing Tails, "But yeah, what gives? I'm not mad about our dimension being perfectly fine, but still."

Tails studied the echidna on-screen. "I don't know… I mean, nothing happened when we met our younger selves, but that situation dealt with time rather than space. Maybe…the _thing_ is protecting us and, in turn, our universe against the calamity?" He focused on the echidnas. "Do either of you feel funny?"

Knuckles shook his head. "I don't feel any different."

Mittens blinked when Tails looked expectantly at him. "Uh…sorry, can you repeat the question? I was imagining kitties playing with a yarn ball."

Tails couldn't get mad because he had been warned. "Do you feel any different?"

The echidna examined his arms. "Nope! As strong as ever!"

"Great. Now let's stop talking about it before my chances of world domination drops to zero."

"It is already at zero, so you have nothing to lose."

If Amy didn't melt Metal down after they were freed, Eggman would happily take the job.

**Sonic nodded. "Okay, Tails, keep working on your…red-blue-purple bream thing. Amy, Sticks, and I are going to Eggman's lair to bring back…" He paused to think. "That other guy."**

**Cutting back to the evil base, Hat-Knuckles was now inside destroying robots with ease. He ran toward an observing Eggman, smashing the two machines at his side.**

**The echidna began to flicker again, more violently this time. He noticed and was too distracted to dodge the electrified net that dropped from the ceiling. He cried out in shock once he was trapped, trying in vain to set himself free.**

Sonic was a mixture of sympathetic and amused. "Guess that plan of his didn't work out so well, huh?"

"He would've been fine if he hadn't start flickering like an old light bulb," Amy pointed out.

**Outside of the lair were Sonic, Amy, and Sticks.**

" **Okay." The blue speedster glanced at the girls, grinning. "Everyone ready to put the plan into action?"**

" **Yeah!" they chorused.**

**Sonic didn't waste any time in walking up to the entrance, determination set in his expression. When he got to the door, he knocked on it.**

Mittens was disappointed. "Wow, Sonic is lamer than I thought! You're supposed to force your way in!"

"He's _really_ emphasizing that he's a 'non-aggressor'," Knuckles said. "That's like telling a tree it's not a plant."

" **I'm busy!" Eggman bellowed from inside. "Come back tomorrow!" Sonic clenched his fist as the human shouted at someone else. "Hey, you're my prisoner! You can't just disappear like that! Stop flickering!"**

"Eggman's not curious at all by it?"

"It's my double, rodent. Nothing rational goes on in his head."

"I'm a fox."

"You all blur together."

" **Alright, Plan B." Sonic backed up from the door until he was far enough away. Then he crouched and spin dashed right through the metal barrier like a hot knife through butter.**

"Should've done that in the first place!" Sonic lightly admonished.

**In the main room, Hat-Knuckles was locked inside of a cage with laser bars. Eggman was smug beside him. "Imagine the look on Sonic's face when he sees I have** _**Knuckles** _ **trapped."**

Amy rolled her eyes. "I don't think Sonic'll be too concerned because how long do we have left, Metal?"

"Less than four minutes."

"Yeah, he won't be concerned."

"So…" Mittens eyed Metal for a moment before regarding the heroes, "All of you guys are seriously friends with him?"

"Acquaintances at best," the robot mended.

Sonic snickered. "Metal here doesn't like us enough to be friends yet-"

"There is no _yet_ , copy."

The speedster kept going. "-but we've been on friendlier terms lately! Especially since being trapped in here."

When Metal didn't argue that, Tails said, "Just like the saying goes: the enemy of my enemy is my friend!"

"Who's your enemy?" Mittens asked. "The magic ceiling?"

"And Eggman to a lesser degree." Knuckles added, and his twin nodded in understanding.

"I can say the same about you annoyances," Eggman grumbled.

"Do you think you could ever be friends with your Metal?" Sonic rose a brow at the echidna, curious. And he realized his mistake when his friends looked at him in horror.

"No!" Mittens adamantly yelled. "Because he…" He stopped himself once more, glancing up at the ceiling and finishing with. "…is very mean."

Sonic wiped imaginary sweat off his brow. "I'm glad you're learning."

" **You don't have to imagine, Egghead!" Eggman spun around at the sound of Sonic's voice. The hedgehog and his friends ran through a hole in the wall. "Cuz here I am!"**

" **Well, that was a bit of a letdown." Eggman complained. "I was expecting a bigger reaction. Maybe shock,** _ **outrage**_ **, perhaps even a little ennui!" He quickly recovered from the disappointment. "Anyhoo. Motobugs, attack!"**

"Motobugs again?" Eggman couldn't fathom why his double didn't learn from his mistakes. He had someone held _hostage_ , and yet he was going to sit back and let Sonic trash his cheap robots. "He's basically just giving up on winning at this point."

**More robots rolled out to target the heroes. Sonic was the first to move, spin attacking the closest motobug.**

**Hat-Knuckles watched its parts fly in different directions. "Look who broke down the wall." He side-eyed Sonic. "The** _**non-aggressors."** _

Amy frowned. "Does he not _want_ them to save him?

**Sonic punched another bot, dusting dirt off his shoulder. "Dude, this is more of a** _**rescue** _ **than an attack."**

**The echidna deadpanned at him. "Excuses are easy to manufacture, but hard to sell."**

"Neither of them are wrong…" Tails mused. "But Sonic is more right."

**Eggman looked at him, surprised. "Why is Knuckles talking like a fortune cookie?"**

Mittens laughed, and Eggman ran an exasperated hand down his face.

" **That's not Knuckles." Amy enlightened him. "It's his double from another dimension."**

**Comprehension flooded Eggman's expression. "Oh! That explains the hat. So you can tell them apart, great idea!"**

"He's not fazed at _all_ by this!" Knuckles exclaimed. "For something that hasn't happened before and _shouldn't_ be able to happen from their perspective, they're acting like it's just another Tuesday."

"Maybe it is?" Amy suggested. "Like, they've dealt with many meteor showers, luck balance of the universe shenanigans, and being in each other's bodies."

Mittens gasped in excitement. "You guys watched all of those? Cool!" He then sobered up. "I'm _way_ better than Sonic at gopher golf! He just cheats, a lot!"

Knuckles' sarcasm was palpable. "Sure." Even without luck getting in the way, he doubted his double had the skill for it.

Making meat hand puppets, yes. Holes-in-one, no.

" **Thank-" Amy smashed a motobug with her hammer. "-you."**

" **Wait a minute." Eggman frowned. "There are multiple Knuckles in** _ **this**_ **dimension? That could cause some kind of catastrophic anomaly! I do** _ **not**_ **want a dimensional explosion in my lab! I just had the floors waxed."**

Amy giggled. "Nice to know that he has his priorities straight."

**The doctor pressed a button on the cage, and the bars vanished. The heroes just looked at Eggman. He glared. "So, what are you waiting for? Get him out of here!"**

**Sonic responded, "Well, actually the reason alternate dimension Knuckles is here is that alternate dimension Eggman shot him with lasers from alternate dimension octopus bot."**

**Eggman was amused. "That's so alternate dimension me!"**

"He's so happy. _Why_ is he so happy?" Eggman glared at the screen. "He just lost! He should be wallowing in his failures and learning from his mistakes."

"Because _you_ do that so well."

The doctor contemplated whether going deaf was such a bad thing.

Mittens snickered at Metal, somewhat warming up to him. Just a tiny bit. "So you hate Eggman too?"

"Immensely."

"What does that mean?"

"Yes."

" **Any chance we could borrow your lasers so Tails can send this guy back and prevent the destruction of…pretty much everything?" Sonic asked.**

" **Sure!" Eggman chuckled. "You should've just asked me in the first place!"**

Maybe Amy shouldn't have doubted her pacifist twin. "Peacefully asking actually worked, who would've thought?"

**Eggman thought for a second. "But I need them back by Thursday."**

" **What's happening Thursday?" Sticks inquired.**

" **I'm gonna attack your, uh…" Eggman's smile was fake. "I mean, I'm having a party."**

"His pants should have burst into flames with how bad that lie was," Tails said.

**Sticks made an 'I'm watching you' gesture with her fingers.**

**Everyone was gathered in Tails' workshop once more. The echidnas were standing on a metal platform with two machines aimed at him. The rest of the heroes were on the sidelines.**

**Tails was examining the control in his hands. "For this to work, you need to be touching." He glanced at the red anthros. "So, when I tell you to, bump fists."**

**Hat-Knuckles briefly waved. "Farewell, my new friends. I've learned** _**much** _ **from this wonderful journey."**

The sound of crying grabbed everyone's attention.

Mittens was rubbing his damp eyes with a trembling lip. "Goodbyes are so sad!"

"But you already-"

Sonic patted Tails' shoulder and shook his head.

" **Okay!" Tails raised a finger, and the echidnas got ready to fist bump. "Here goes!" The kit pressed a button on the remote. Nothing happened. He stared in disbelief before uttering, "Oops. Uh…forgot to change batteries." He zipped away.**

**An awkward atmosphere settled now, and elevator music started to play out of nowhere.**

"I feel weird here, and we're not the one's in the room!"

Tails wholeheartedly agreed with Amy. "Batteries always fail when you need them the most."

**After a couple seconds, Sticks glanced over to Amy. The pinkette simply shrugged.**

" **Awkward," Sonic ultimately drawled.**

" **Yeah, it's like when you say goodbye to someone, and then you both walk away in the same direction," Hat-Knuckles put out there.**

"That _is_ the worst."

"It's like you don't know whether to restart the conversation."

"I hope it never happens to me."

" **Yeah."**

" **So awkward."**

" **I hate that."**

Sonic, Tails, and Amy looked at each other and laughed.

**Sticks frowned. "People always follow me."**

Knuckles couldn't come up with _one_ instance when someone actually followed her.

**Tails quickly returned. "All set!" Everyone sighed in relief as he pressed the buttons again. The machines started up, one glowing blue and the other red. "Bump!"**

**The echidnas got into position again, but before the lasers could go off, Hat-Knuckles had to say one more thing. "By the way, Sonic, you're much more capable in this dimension."**

Mittens snorted, and the others just let him believe what he wanted.

**He shifted his focus onto his double. "It was nice meeting you."**

**Knuckles smiled. "You're the handsomest fellow I've ever met!"**

" **Thank you, dimwitted version of me!"**

Mittens crossed his arms and glared. "I didn't catch that the first time!" He pouted. "I take back my amazing compliment, you meanie!"

Amy stifled a giggle. "You know that he can't hear you, right?"

Sonic smirked at her. "Ames, you're the pot, and he's the kettle."

"Oh, shut it."

**They fist bumped, and the beams hit them at the same time. When the rays shut off, the alternate dimension Knuckles was gone. Nothing remained of him but the party hat he had worn.**

" **Cool!" Knuckles gushed. "Could I do that again if I rub my feet on the carpet and touch things?"**

Mittens glanced back at everyone, interested in the answer.

Tails shook his head. "No. No, you can't."

"Aw man."

Sonic cringed at memory of what happened after he produced static in the same way. He was _not_ a fan of below-the-belt hits.

**In the other dimension, Sonic was seen falling face-first into the sand.**

**Knuckles appeared beside him on the beach.**

"Great. Now he can get back to his girlfriend."

Amy's eye twitched. "You're a monster, Knuckles."

"I try."

**He was shocked at the condition of his friend, but a fond smile formed soon enough. "Here, buddy. Let me help you." With one tug, Sonic was back on his feet.**

**Sonic dusted himself off, grinning. "Aw, thanks Knux!"**

**Then they braced themselves for the horde of robots coming their way.**

When the screen faded to black, Eggman inwardly celebrated because it felt like the episode went on for an _eternity._ He faced the extra echidna in the room, more than ready to decrease the number of annoying rodents. "It's time for you to go back to where you came from."

Mittens paid no mind to his harsh tone. "I'm going back now? Awesome! I can't wait to tell my friends about you guys!"

Sonic gave him a thumbs up. "I can already say that they're gonna love us!"

Tails looked up at the ceiling, unsure. "Actually, we don't actually know if you're going back right now…it's up to the _thing._ "

"Oh yeah…" Mittens wasn't too bothered. "It's fine too if I stay here a little longer!" He smiled at the heroes. "All of you are great to be around, even my grumpy double!"

Knuckles sighed because he couldn't outright ignore the compliment. "And you…weren't as bad as I thought you would be."

He instantly regretted saying it when Sonic and Amy cooed.

Mittens laughed before continuing, "I could say the same about Eggman and Metal! But uh…" He gave Shadow a side-glance. "I'm still kinda scared of him."

Shadow dispassionately grunted.

Sonic grinned at that and waited a few seconds. Nothing happened. "Since it seems like you're stickin' around for a bit more, we can move on to the next-"

A bright white light suddenly blinded all of them, and Sonic expected Mittens to be gone once he blinked his eyes open.

But nope, Mittens was still sitting in his chair.

And Rouge was standing in the middle of the room with a Chaos emerald.


	25. Chapter 25

When Rouge gleefully placed her hand on the found Chaos emerald, she didn't expect to be instantaneously warped back into a familiar living room.

She wasn't complaining by any means – a relaxing spa treatment was _long_ overdue – but she should at least have gotten a warning.

Rouge didn't care that much, though. She was out of the dark cave, and that was all that mattered.

That…and the extra echidna staring up at her with wide eyes.

Rouge absorbed the longer legs and bigger stature before smirking. This would be fun. "Hi, I don't believe we've met before." She sauntered over to him and held out a hand. "I'm Rouge."

The echidna shook her hand after a moment's hesitation, squeaking out a, "H-Hi." When he let her go, he leaned around her and whispered loudly to everyone, "You guys didn't tell me that she was this pretty!"

"I am literally going to vomit."

With a chuckle, Rouge glanced over to Knuckles, who was glaring with the heat of a thousand suns. Luckily, she was immune to all glares at this point. "Before you do that, anyone want to explain why this adorable beefcake is here?"

The echidna in question giggled, a light blush dusting his cheeks, and Knuckles let out a tortured groan.

Sonic wore an identical smirk as hers because he knew that this was going to be an entertaining show. "The _thing_ popped Mittens in to watch the last episode with us! Crazy, right?"

"Very interesting." Rouge hummed before processing what she just heard. "And Mittens? Do I have to ask?"

Sonic nodded his head over at Knuckles. "Knux beat Mittens in an arm-wrestling contest, so he got to nickname him."

Rouge could believe it. Knuckles' strength was nothing to laugh at, and with what she'd seen on the screen, Mittens hadn't shown that time of power yet. However, the almost smug look on Knuckles' face made her turn to Mittens and say, "He beat you? He obviously must've cheated."

The echidna nodded enthusiastically. "That's what I've been saying!"

Knuckles wondered _exactly_ what he had done wrong in his life to be put through this.

"Ooo! Is that a Chaos emerald?" Mittens had the attention span of a squirrel, it seemed, and Rouge honestly couldn't be surprised. "It is, right? Can I hold it?"

What _did_ surprise her though was him questioning the beautiful gem in her hand. Her confusion must've shown on her face, for Amy explained, "We questioned it too, and it turns out they probably don't exist in that dimension!" Rouge's brow creased, and the pinkette shrugged. "Have no idea why though."

Rouge couldn't _imagine_ what her life would be like without her shining babies. A never-ending and bland nightmare, that's what.

She decided to put that topic on hold when Mittens reached out for the gem. Rouge moved it out of his reach. "Wait a minute, sugar-" The echidna's blush returned. He had it bad. "-we have to see if everyone here could escape with it first." She raised a curious brow at Shadow splayed out on the floor. "Want to have a crack at it, Shadow?"

Shadow barely glanced at her, his eyes on the ceiling. "I'm blocked off to its energy, so there's no point. Like there's no point in mending my shattered soul. No amount of glue could put it back together until I sleep a total of thirty-six hours. No less."

Okay, one, Rouge was a little peeved that she went through that patience-testing cave for practically no reason, and two, Shadow was in a worse condition that when she last saw him.

"Alright." Rouge put a hand on her hip, motioning to the downed hedgehog. "Who broke him?"

"Is it really a matter of _who_ at this point?" Eggman muttered.

Point taken. "What happened while I was gone?"

"Well…" Tails recounted the major things that targeted Shadow specifically. "During the last episode, Shadow managed to leave but was teleported back here kinda like you. And, this is gonna sound weird, but earlier, Shadow was put in a time loop that really messed him up."

Rouge knew that Tails wasn't lying because she'd experienced how sadistic the _thing_ was, but she looked over at Shadow for confirmation anyway. "Things have been that rough?"

"Rough doesn't cover it. I'd take rough any day." Rouge opened her mouth. " _Don't_ take that out of context." She closed her mouth.

Tails tilted his head in confusion. "What-"

"Nothing!" Sonic cut him off before saying, "So, the emerald plan is a dud, huh? That's a bummer, but we don't really need it anyway."

"Right!" Amy leaned forward in her seat, grinning. "The _thing_ reduced the number of episodes we have to watch! We have just a few hours left, if even that!"

Rouge stared at her for a moment, letting this information sink in. "You're telling me that I walked through that maze of a cave getting covered in dust, spider webs, and bat guano for _nothing?!_ "

Amy eeped, not expected that bout of anger. "At least…you have an emerald for yourself now?"

Metal scanned the irritated bat. "There are no hints of dirt, webs, nor feces on you."

Some of Rouge's annoyance melted away at that. "Really?" She checked her clothes and fur, relieved that the robot had been telling the truth. Maybe this mysterious being wasn't that bad.

"And I _still_ don't have fitting pants," Eggman gritted, hating this blatant favoritism.

"And I still do not have working taste buds," Metal countered. "You are not the only victim here."

"Oh, for the love of – would you just _drop it?_ "

"Never."

Sonic snickered. "Guess you lost that argument, Eggy," He ignored the glare, regarding Rouge once more. "Speaking of the cave, didn't you take Omega with you? Where is he?"

Rouge waved him off, feeling better that she didn't need to be power washed. "He probably got teleported back to headquarters."

* * *

Omega, now alone, looked around the dark cavern.

"THIS IS UNEXPECTED." He glanced up at the ceiling, addressing the fluttering bats above. "IS THERE ANY CHANCE THAT YOU COULD GUIDE ME TO THE EXIT?"

Something wet and chunky splattered on his face.

"I WILL TAKE THAT AS A NO."

* * *

Knuckles crossed his arms. "Well, since you don't have any other reason to stay here, you can leave."

"I know that I _could_ , but…" Rouge smirked at him, loving how the other tensed. "I have the sudden urge to stick around for a bit. Get to know this new friend of yours."

Mittens perked up at that.

Knuckles wanted to strangle something. "What happened to you not wanting to spend another _second_ in this cursed place?!"

"What, is it illegal for me to change my mind?"

"Yes!"

"Why are you being so mean to her?" Mittens asked, cocking his head. "You two are friends, right?"

"Hm, I think it might be somethin' more than that…"

Sonic. Knuckles wanted to strangle Sonic.

Mittens blinked at the speedster before a large and knowing grin grew on his face. "Ohhhh…I know what's going on! It makes sense!"

Knuckles had no idea what was going to come out of his twin's mouth, but he had to stop it anyway. "No, no, _no._ It doesn't make any-"

"You two are super best friends! The kind who can insult each other all the time without hurting feelings!"

Knuckles slowly blinked, not knowing what to say to that. He was flabbergasted, but also slightly relieved that his twin hadn't spouted something even more ridiculous.

Rouge grinned at both of the echidnas. "You're pretty close, hon. Our relationship is…interesting, to say the least."

It turned out that it wasn't _Mittens_ Knuckles should've been worried about. The guardian froze in his chair, a strangled noise coming from his throat. " _Relationship?_ We don't have a – what are you – stop spouting _nonsense-"_

"Don't forget to breathe," Sonic advised because Knuckles hadn't taken a breath for a while. He smirked at the glare sent his way, enjoying every second of this.

"I mean, it's kinda obvious."

Knuckles made a noise similar to a dying cat when he snapped his attention over to Amy. " _Nothing_ is obvious!"

"That blush on your cheeks is!" Amy chirped, giggling as Knuckles covered his face as if they all hadn't seen it already. Hopefully if Knuckles managed to confess something, then maybe Sonic would follow suit. Like a domino effect kind of thing.

Extremely amused, Rouge went to comment, but the angry gibberish coming from the echidna made her rethink that.

Sonic filled her in with a smirk. "Oh, don't worry about him. Because Mittens is here, the _thing_ censored out curse words to keep him pure or somethin'."

Rouge wasn't going to ask any questions. She was sure no one had any answers to them. "Aw, isn't that sweet." Her eyes crinkled when she looked at Knuckles. "And it's nice to know that you get mouthy when you're flustered, Red."

The gibberish was replaced with a loud groan.

Mittens slightly narrowed his eyes, confused about what was going on. "Am I missing something here?"

"You're _always_ missing something!" Knuckles yelled with a heated look. The _only_ reason why his face was flushed because he was angry. That bat just danced on his nerves, and it didn't help that his double was making it easier for her.

Mittens huffed and pouted. "Rude!"

"But it's true!"

"It still doesn't make it not rude!" Mittens furrowed his brow and rethought his words. "Er, wait…it doesn't not make it not rude? Or it does make it not rude? Or-"

"You had it right the first time." Tails decided to help him out so his brain wouldn't overload. Mittens looked proud of himself.

Rouge held the Chaos emerald out to the buffy echidna. "Here, sugar. Take this as an award and as an apology for Knuckles' dreadful attitude."

Mittens gasped like he had won the lottery, carefully taking it out of the bat's hold. He examined every inch, rubbing his fingers along the smooth and shining surface before hugging it tightly. "His name is Albert and he is forever mine."

"Until you leave," Rouge corrected.

"Until I leave."

Eggman watched as Mittens cradled and cooed at the gem like it was an actual child. "Why? Why is this happening?"

"Ditto," Knuckles grunted in disdain, crossing his arms.

Rouge tisked at him. "You should be taking notes, Red. _This_ is how you properly take care of a beautiful gem. Maybe Mittens here could give you some pointers."

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in – it wasn't working.

Mittens smiled at the inwardly seething Knuckles. "Yeah! Since Rouge is pointing it out, you must suck at it, so-"

"I. Do. Not. _Suck._ At. It." Knuckles somehow spoke without separating his teeth. "And if we do not start the #%$ episode in the next thirty seconds, I will explode."

Sonic eyed the echidna. "Uh, I don't think you can-"

"Oh, I will find a way."

"Anger is an amazing motivator," Shadow commented from the floor. "It lets you achieve the impossible."

Knuckles tersely nodded at him. "He gets it."

Rouge grinned, believing that it was a good idea to put her teasing on hold for now. It was good to let things simmer, not boil over. "No need to get so testy." She waved off Knuckles' glare, settling on the floor beside Shadow. "But it is a good idea to get this show on the road."

Mittens stiffened, glancing between her and the striped hedgehog. "Are you sure that you want to sit there? Shadow might be dangerous, and…and you can have my seat!"

He was about to get up, but Rouge raised a halting hand. "No need to do that, hon! I don't know what he's done that rubbed you the wrong way, but he won't hurt a fly."

Shadow scoffed. "That's a lie even he won't believe."

Rouge resisted the urge to roll her eyes and addressed the echidna's worry. "I'll let you be my knight in shining armor if he tries something, okay?"

Mittens nodded in confidence. "I'll be the best knight you ever had!"

"His armor is nothing but tin foil," Knuckles derisively muttered.

Rouge glimpsed over at him, lips twitching. "What was that?"

Knuckles pointedly looked away. "Nothing. Let's just start the stupid show."

"It's not good to keep everything bottled up, Knuckles." Amy lightly admonished, wanting him to open up so Sonic would find the courage to do so also.

The echidna's heated gaze trained on her. "I _don't_ have anything bottled up."

The pinkette gave him a look. "Knuckles."

He returned it. "Amy."

" _Knuckles._ "

" _Amy._ "

"Now that it has been established that you two know each other's names-" Metal chimed in, sarcasm somehow leaking into his monotonous voice. "-press play."

Knuckles' tolerance for the robot rose a little higher, and Amy pouted as she did what she was told.

**The scene began with Team Sonic in the middle of the village. Amy was on top of a ladder hanging streamers while Knuckles made sure she didn't fall. Sonic, Sticks, and Tails were watching a distance away.**

Mittens danced in his seat, pointing at the screen. It was obvious that he knew what was going to happen in this episode. "Ooo! Ooo! That's-"

"Hush," Shadow snapped, and the echidna instantly quieted, hugging the gem for comfort.

Maybe now Rouge could see why Mittens was wary of the striped hedgehog. "Well, that was a little harsh."

"What's _harsh_ is the deafening air horn that blows every time he goes to spoil what comes next."

Rouge slowly blinked before telling Mittens, "Knights usually protect their damsel in distress-"

"Oh, so you're a _damsel_ now?"

She pointedly ignored Knuckles' question. "-so please protect me from going deaf."

Mittens saluted her. "Yes, ma'am!"

" **Come on, everybody!" Amy glanced down at the three observers. "These decorations aren't gonna hang themselves!"**

"I wonder what they're celebrating?" Tails asked and watched Shadow send Mittens the meanest look he could muster when the echidna opened his mouth. The kit felt guilty when Mittens flinched. "Sorry! I'm going to keep questions like that to a minimum so Shadow won't threaten you anymore."

Mittens meekly nodded. "That would be appreciated!"

"Five syllables," Knuckles grunted. "A new record."

Mittens gasped and covered the gem's nonexistent ears. "Don't insult my brain smartness in front of Albert! I don't want him to think less of me!"

"The poor child…" Rouge leaned back on her hands, features twisted in disappointment as she stared Knuckles down. "Some uncle you are."

Knuckles knew he shouldn't ask, but, "Uncle?!"

Sonic hopped into the conversation with a subtle smirk. "Duh, Knux! You're Mittens' twin, and Albert is his and Rouge's kid. So that makes you the uncle!"

"The emerald is _not_ their-" Knuckles cut his yell short at the smug looks Sonic and Rouge shared. He fumed instead, biting, "What about you two? You both are on the same annoying wavelength all the time; you'd be _perfect_ for each other."

"Don't give him any ideas," Amy all but hissed.

Rouge waved them off. "It's just that we have similar ways of torturing you, Knuckie."

Sonic snickered. "And plus, one of my good friends probably has an eye on her, and I don't want to get in the way of anything."

Knuckles was going to have a stroke.

"Wait, what?" Mittens faced Rouge, eyes wide. "Who? I bet that I have bigger muscles than he does!"

"It's nothing to worry about," she reassured over stifled laughter. "Let's get back to the episode, shall we?"

**Tails grinned up at her. "Oh, aren't they?" In his hands was a gun of some sort, and he aimed it at the sky, firing a few times. Lines of decorations neatly landed on rooftops and between trees. Tails turned back around, proud.**

Tails was proud as well, smiling broadly. "That was perfect aim!"

"I want to say that they hung themselves a little _too_ well, but it's a Tails!" Amy matched the kit's expression. "You guys can make anything for everything!"

Sonic could come up with an exception. "Well…"

Tails deadpanned at him. "Sonic, I _could_ make that ultrasonic chili dog blaster, but I'm not going to."

"Party pooper."

**Amy was on the ground now, not as impressed. "They still didn't hang** _**themselves.** _ **Your machine did it."**

**Knuckles, beside her, crossed his arms. "Not cool, Tails."**

Tails frowned at Mittens. "What's with you guys not being impressed with my twin's inventions? First the translator, now this!"

"The gun thing was cool!" Mittens defended himself with a pout. "It's just that Amy can be a little scary when someone doesn't agree with her…"

In that case. "Oh…well okay, I understand."

Sonic nodded. "Yeah, totally."

"Wait…" Amy narrowed her eyes at them. They were swayed a little too easily. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing!" the duo chorused.

"That's what I thought," she huffed.

Mittens chuckled. "Our dimensions aren't that different after all!"

When Amy snapped her attention to him, Rouge said, "If you don't want to get on another pinkette's bad side, I advise you to hush, hon."

The echidna hugged Albert again. "Right."

**Sticks approached the kit, motioning to the decorations. "Tails, take those things down. You're gonna attract bugs, and aliens, and kumquats, and list jokes!"**

Sonic snorted. "I expected aliens, but kumquats? That's a new one."

"Makes you wonder what bad experiences she's had with kumquats…" Tails pondered.

"They're oval oranges!" Mittens loudly answered him. "How can you ever trust them?!"

The phrase _why_ repeated in Knuckles' head many, many times. "What an amazing argument."

"I know! So, you agree with me?"

"No."

" **Come on, guys. Lay off him." Sonic interjected as every single decoration Tails put up fell down. With a change of opinion, a disappointed Sonic put a hand on the fox's shoulder. "Way to ruin New Year's, dude."**

"The only thing that's gonna ruin it is your attitude," Sonic lightly groused, coming to the fox's defense. "What a drama queen, that guy."

"Says the one who cried for a solid five minutes when you stubbed your toe."

"That doesn't count, Knux, and you _know_ it. It's a different kind of pain."

Amy nodded. "Yeah, I'll give Sonic a pass for that one, but pushing that aside-" She gestured at the screen. "They're celebrating New Year's! That's going to be fun to watch!"

Eggman crossed his arms. "Not if there is a chance that my double will show up."

Rouge grinned over at him. "Still haven't warmed up to your twin, doctor?"

"Never have, never will."

" **Is that the holiday where a giant rabbit breaks into your house and hides painted eggs?" Knuckles asked.**

Tails' brow creased. "Uh…why does that sound mildly terrifying? What holiday is that, Mittens?"

The echidna shrugged. "I forgot the name, but it's not scary at all! You just gotta fight to find the eggs to get the surprise inside as the smiling giant rabbit watches from a place you can't see!"

"I'm imagining Ms. Vanilla doing this, and it's a concerning mix of funny and horrifying," Amy lowly commented.

Mittens gasped. "You _know_ the rabbit?! Tell her I said hi for me!"

"I don't…" Amy trailed off, seeing how excited the other was. She couldn't let down that face. "I will, don't worry!"

"Awesome!"

**Amy was walking over, rolling a large colorful ball. "Knuckles, forget about your crazy holidays and help me get this ball on top of that pole."**

**Obeying, Knuckles went over and lifted the wooden pole she was talking about. Amy placed the ball on a stand, and the echidna slotted the pole into the hollowed holes in the ball. After attacking a hook to the decoration, Knuckles cranked a lever, slowly rising the ball to the top of the pole.**

" **When it drops to the bottom-" Amy began. "-then it's exactly midnight and the start of the new year!"**

Tails didn't get how the mechanism worked. "Does anyone see a timer on that?"

"I don't," Rouge said. "It looks like they're just hoping for the best."

" **Don't trust her, Knuckles." Sticks quickly sidled up to the echidna, startling him and making him let go of the lever. "I told you about the kumquats!"**

Mittens shook his head in disappointment. "She did tell me about the kumquats…Why didn't I listen?!"

No one had a rational answer for him.

**Without any support, the colorful ball fell back down the pole. Amy tried to save it, but it was too heavy for her to hold. They both crashed to the ground, the decoration shattering.**

**Tails snickered. "You really…dropped the ball!"**

Knuckles couldn't help but to cringe. "Okay, it's official. All Tailses need to separate themselves from their Sonics immediately. The bad joke plague is spreading."

"Nah, he did that all his own." Sonic might've thought of that joke in his head, but he would've _never_ said it out loud. Not enough bang for the buck. "No Sonic was involved with that one."

**Tails' tone turned meek when irritated eyes landed on him. "Not cool?" Everyone gave him a look that clearly implied a 'yes'.**

Tails felt bad for his twin. "You know it's horrible when _Sonic_ doesn't approve of it…"

"What? My jokes aren't _that_ low quality-"

"But weren't you laughing at 'duty' jokes a couple episodes ago?"

"Don't make me ground you."

**Then, the ground started to shake.**

Eggman hoped that this wasn't what he thought it was.

**They all turned to see Eggman fly over, laughing while large robotic balls bounced around him. The doctor grinned. "Okay ball bots, let's roll!"**

Eggman's exasperated sigh lasted at least ten seconds.

"An Eggman appearance this early paired with _another_ terrible joke?" If the episode started like this, Knuckles really wasn't looking forward to what happened later. "Talk about kicking a horse when he's down."

"Proof that the doctor spends too much time around my copy's copy."

Mittens looked over at Metal, cocking his head. "Your…copy? Sonic's your copy?" He looked between the two and gasped. "Wait, are you two identical twins?!"

The room went silent for a while.

Metal was the first to recover. "I would like you to take a moment to think about what you just said."

"I did! That's why I said it!"

Amy was next. "Mittens, you know Metal is a _robot_ in this world too, right? He and Sonic can't be brothers."

The echidna wasn't swayed. "Are you sure? Things could work differently in this dimension!"

Sonic held up two fingers. "One, considering that we _live_ here, bud, we should know. And two, even if Mets was miraculously somehow my brother, he wouldn't admit to it."

Metal wholeheartedly agreed. "I would claim that food is disgustingly mediocre before I accept being one of my copy's kin."

"I feel like that should hurt more than it does…" Sonic muttered to himself.

Mittens narrowed his eyes, petting the gem in his lap. "So are you or are you not twins…?"

Eggman threw his arms up in the air, wanting to put an end to this idiotic conversation. He was losing IQ points by just listening to it. "What don't you _get_ , rodent? They aren't related! I _made_ Metal in a lab using that annoying pincushion's DNA!"

Mittens pointed at him. "They share DNA? Then they have to be related!"

Rouge turned her attention to Shadow when the room erupted with loud explanations, rebuttals, and exasperated groans. Tuning all of that out, she said, "Sounds like Mittens has a Metal in his dimension. Did he mention another you?"

Shadow barely heard her over the noise and the steady stream of curses echoing around his mind. "Yes, and he's terrified of him. The only good thing that's come out of the echidna's appearance."

"Oh really?" Rouge rose a brow at that, though she wasn't completely surprised. Shadow's intimidation spanned dimensions, it seemed. "I wonder what caused that?"

"Hopefully something traumatizing that haunts him every night when he sleeps."

Rouge slowly blinked at him.

"I'm suffering, Rouge."

"Yeah, I figured out that much by now."

Before Shadow could say anything else, a voice yelled, "If you don't admit that you're wrong _right now,_ I will kidnap Albert and hold him for ransom."

Mittens gaped and held the emerald tight. "You wouldn't."

Amy's hammer popped into existence. "Try me."

After a brief pause, the echidna sighed. "Fine, they aren't brothers." When everyone relaxed, he continued, "But what about cousins?"

Amy raised her hammer to throw.

"Okay, okay! Not related at all! Got it!"

**The robots rolled around the ground, aiming for the heroes. Sonic hopped on one and ran before slamming it into a nearby tree. Knuckles punched two of the robots, making two makeshift weights and showing off by doing reps with them.**

**Then, he hurled the bots at Eggman, knocking him upside-down in his hovercraft. He growled. "Oh, what's the use?" He flew away, leaving behind a black cloud of smoke.**

Knuckles would like his twin much more if he was all muscle and no talk. That way, the question of whether _a robot could be born_ would never be asked again.

Eggman appreciated that his double had been driven off so early, but he had a sneaking suspicion that the headache wasn't over yet.

_Just please leave the bad jokes behind. I beg you._

**With Eggman gone, Tails faced the last activated bot and aimed his gun at it. He shot more decorations at the floating ball, causing it to quickly spin and fling the streamers back onto the rooftops.**

That ball wasn't spinning fast enough for that to be possible, but Tails wasn't going to question it. If someone could survive being hit by a plummeting meteor in that dimension, anything could happen.

**After looking around, Amy smiled. "The decorations look great, Tails." She gestured over to the round robot. "And this will make a great New Year's Eve ball!"**

**She pushed the floating ball over to the wooden stand, and Knuckles impaled it with the same pole as before. The echidna turned the crank, the bot rising to the top for all the see.**

Knuckles rose a brow. "Wood could just go through metal like that?"

"It can when you're strong enough," Rouge replied, and Mittens proudly puffed out his chest.

Knuckles couldn't wait until they were both _gone._

**The scene changed to Eggman's evil lair.**

Eggman hated that he barely had time to enjoy the absence of his other self. Maybe this was an episode where his twin wasn't that much of an annoyance and…

Oh, who was he kidding. It was inevitable.

**He entered a room through sliding doors, grumbling to himself. "Great. Here it is, New Year's Eve, and I** _**still** _ **haven't fulfilled my resolution from last year!"**

"Let me guess: to rule the world?" Sonic spoke up with a smirk. "Or to cut down on sugary treats?"

"Probably both." Knuckles snorted. "Am I right, Eggman?"

The human gritted his teeth. "I wouldn't know."

"Are you sure?" Rouge hopped into the conversation, to Eggman's misfortune. "Since you have the same success rate and body shape?"

Mittens chuckled. "You weren't here when I said this, but I think your Eggman is pudgier than mine-"

"I am _not!_ " Eggman interrupted him, mustache bristled. "And I don't have the same resolutions as my irritating twin!"

Sonic's voice oozed smugness. "Really? Then what are they, Eggy? Care to share?"

"I don't have to share them with the likes of you!"

"So…they're the same."

"No, they're not!"

"We don't have any proof."

"You _don't-"_ Eggman took a deep breath. He needed to calm down because having a heart attack surrounded by these irritants would be the worst way to go. "Why couldn't I have an arch enemy who _wasn't_ more infuriating than a pebble constantly stuck in my shoe?"

Sonic beamed. "Because your life would be boring!"

"I'll take boring over being _stuck_ in here!"

"I have to admit, that is a good counterargument…"

**Cubot and Orbot stared at him. "Was that the one to become a more benevolent master?" the latter asked.**

**Eggman glared. "I'll show you** _**benevolent** _ **, you bag of bolts!" He pulled out a magazine from nowhere and hit Orbot in the head with it.**

Eggman would love to do that with every other person in this room. Barring Shadow, of course. He liked living.

**Orbot rubbed where he'd been hit. "Clearly, one of us doesn't know what benevolent means…"**

" **Two of us!" Cubot chimed in.**

" **All I wanted was to have** _ **one**_ **decisive victory over Sonic," Eggman explained with a frown. "Just one! I'm so miserable, I barely enjoyed smacking you with that magazine."**

"That's…kinda sad?" Amy didn't know how to feel about this. On one hand, they couldn't let Eggman win ever because it's against their moral code – and there was a good chance that people would be imprisoned/killed – but on the other, she felt for him…a little bit. A whole year without any accomplishments had to be depressing. "I'm sure that Eggman could beat Sonic at _something_ though!"

Mittens tapped his chin. "Eggman beats him at being taller."

"I don't think that counts…" Tails hummed as he thought. "I mean, he has a high IQ, right?"

"He _should,_ " Eggman grumbled.

"Doesn't seem like it." Knuckles derisively snorted.

Tails kept going. "So, he should win at something more mentally taxing…like chess."

Sonic shuddered at the thought of sitting through that long game. "He'd win by default! I'd get bored and walk away before the game's halfway over."

Rouge nodded at that. "Well doctor, whenever you feel a little down, play chess with Blue here! That should cheer you right back up."

Eggman was starting to agree with Knuckles. One less bat meant one less rodent he had to deal with. " _Don't_ patronize me!"

"Or maybe you'd be happier with a game of Sudoku? Or Scrabble?"

"Or Monopoly!" Amy suggested. "Any long game would guarantee a win for you."

Sonic nodded, not offended at all. "Very true. Let me know when you need a pick-me-up, Eggy! I'll even let you pick the game."

Eggman rubbed his temples. "Metal, _please_ end all of them."

"No."

At least he tried.

**Cubot's spirits were down also. "It's sad when we no longer enjoy our hobbies."**

" **Don't you worry, sir!" Orbot reassured Eggman. "I've dreamed up a New Year's Eve party that's going to really put the spring back in your step!" He floated beside a device, digging around behind it.**

**Eggman narrowed his eyes. "If you pull out a checkerboard, I'm going to sell you for scrap metal!"**

**Orbot froze, checkerboard in hand, before putting it back.**

Amy laughed. "He had the same idea that we had!"

Eggman growled. "If any of you show up at my doorstep with any silly boardgames, I will unleash my wrath without any remorse."

Knuckles couldn't find it in himself to be intimidated. "Just like any other attack that you do? That we always win against?"

Mittens was enjoying this. "Making fun of Eggman is so fun! Glad to know it's like this in every dimension!"

"I hate all of you from the depths of my soul."

**Back at the village, the sun had set, and the party was in full swing. Knuckles, in a hot dog suit, was dancing in a conga line formed by the villagers.**

Everyone looked at Mittens.

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "I might've gotten my holidays mixed up again."

"What other crazy holiday did you make up where you dress like-" Knuckles paused, deadpanning. "You thought it was Halloween, didn't you?"

"Yeah…"

"An honest mistake, really." Rouge reassured him more for Knuckles' reaction than anything else. She reached over and patted Mittens' leg. "The suit looked pretty good on you, if I say so myself."

The echidna perked up, a smile nearly splitting his face in half. "Really? I _knew_ taking that risk in wearing it would pay off!"

Knuckles was going to let this pass, but he just couldn't. "She's _lying_ to you, you know! No one looks good in a hotdog suit!"

Rouge rolled her eyes. "Don't listen to him, hon. He's just caught a case of the green-eyed monster."

"I'm not _jealous!"_

Mittens looked a little concerned. "He should really get that checked out…"

"It's not a _disease_ , and I-"

Sonic's snickers cut the irate Knuckles off. "Yeah pal, just keep diggin' that hole. Going pretty deep there."

The guardian crossed his arms and grumbled to himself.

**Leroy the turtle was providing the music that mostly everyone was dancing to.**

**Sonic and Amy were standing off to the side together, leaning against a wooden counter.**

Amy lit up like a neon sign. "Look how close they're standing together!" She did a little dance when she made a connection between the closeness and the current occasion. "They're definitely going to go in for a New Year's kiss when the time is right!"

Knuckles believed that it was a _great_ time for revenge. "They _are_ standing pretty close. Can't really deny their relationship now, Sonic."

The blue speedster ran a hand down his face. "I know what you're doing, Knux, and…" He sighed before gesturing with a defeated look on his face. "You're right. Can't argue all of the hints leading up to now, and yeah, they're less than an arm's length apart." Sonic softly smiled. "But, you know what? It's fine. If what they're doing makes them happy, then more power to them."

Wait, no. Knuckles expected to get a laugh out of this, not _acceptance_. This wasn't fair!

He was going to say something, but Amy beat him to the punch. "So, you're saying that as long as we're happy, we can be a couple too?"

Sonic's smile fell, and Knuckles relaxed in his seat.

The hero floundered for a moment, not knowing how to answer the question, until he called for help. "Tails?"

Tails didn't want to be caught in the crossfire here. "Um…it's not up to me to say!"

Sonic threw him a look that screamed betrayal before asking, "Anyone else?"

Amy leaned forward in her seat. "I can make you really happy, Sonic! Promise!"

"Anyone else other than Amy?"

Silence.

The pinkette stood up. "Sonic-"

The hero pointed to her seat. "Sit back down, Amy, or I'll take back everything I just said!"

Amy gasped. "You can't do that! It doesn't work that way!"

"I'll do it!" Sonic retorted, still pointing. "Everything I said about accepting their relationship would be gone in two seconds!"

"But I wasn't the only one who heard it!" Amy glanced at the others. "Everyone else did too! Let me see a show of hands!"

The only person who raised theirs was Knuckles.

Sonic grinned. "Majority rules!"

" _What?!_ " Amy saw that Tails was focusing on his feet, Eggman was looking blankly at the nearest wall, Metal was looking straight at her along with a smirking Rouge, Shadow was seemingly lost in his own mind, and Mittens was muttering something about cute kittens.

The pinkette puffed out her cheeks before plopping back down in her seat, mumbling something that Sonic probably didn't want to hear.

**They watched as Knuckles danced by, and Sonic had to ask, "Why are you dressed like that?"**

**The echidna turned around. "Isn't New Year's the holiday where you put on a costume and threaten to prank strangers if they don't give you candy?"**

Relieved that he hadn't spoken up and put himself in potential jeopardy, Tails frowned up at what was said. "You know, I don't really see people doing the 'trick' part of trick-or-treat."

Rouge scoffed. "Because people know they have to give candy if they know what's best for them." She paused in thought. "And, I can say that I've seen some tricks here or there."

"That's because you caused them," Shadow uttered.

She couldn't exactly refute that, but, "That's because _some_ people like to give out apples and carrots as treats. I know that it's healthy, but save those for a day that's _not_ Halloween."

"Hold up. You guys go trick-or-treating?" Sonic perked up at this knowledge. Rouge wasn't really a surprise, but Shadow? "How come you never come with us?"

"So you couldn't talk us out of doing any tricks."

Amy didn't know what to make of Rouge's smile. She hesitantly asked, "What kind of tricks?"

Rouge guessed that it wouldn't hurt telling them one thing. "Well, there was this one person who refused to give us candy, and…" She turned toward Shadow. "Did we use shaving cream or pudding? I can never remember."

"Pudding because it was thicker."

"That's right, that's right." She continued her story. "And we filled up that person's car with vanilla pudding to retaliate."

Tails' jaw was on the floor. "Where did you even get that much pudding?"

She waved him off. "A store that wouldn't have missed it. It was all expired anyway."

Amy couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew that Rouge could be petty at times; Shadow was another story though. "Shadow? You helped too?"

The striped hedgehog was glaring up at the ceiling. "The man _had_ candy. He had been holding the bowl behind his back, so of course I helped."

Sonic cackled. "Y'know, I probably wouldn't have stopped you from doing that!"

"I know," Rouge replied. "That's why I only told you that one."

Sonic's laughter died off once those words sank in. Rouge had a twinkle in her eyes know, and the ghost of a smirk on Shadow's face wasn't too reassuring.

The heroes glanced at each other, all hesitant to ask, while Mittens smiled at Rouge. "Spending Halloween with you would be so much fun!" He looked at her neighbor, putting more caution into his words. "And you can't be too bad if you have fun with her, Shadow!"

"I broke into someone's house once, put laxatives in every drink in their refrigerator, and got rid of their entire stock of toilet paper."

Mittens blinked at him, rethinking the possibility of friendship, before turning to the others. "Is…Is he joking?"

Sonic honestly couldn't give a definitive answer. One part of him was saying that Shadow wouldn't stoop that low, but the other part was screaming that Shadow would _absolutely_ stoop that low. "I have no idea."

Rouge was humming a soft tune to herself.

Amy felt horrible for those people. "Let's…just keep watching the show."

" **That's not a holiday." Amy crossed her arms. "It's extortion."**

_She better be lucky that she can't run into our Rouge and Shadow on Halloween,_ Tails thought with a shudder.

**Knuckles blinked. "I'm hearin' a lot of words, but I'm not seeing any candy, lady." He held up a bag with the picture of a ghost on it.**

Metal was curious. "What is better: candy or cookies?"

Knuckles grunted. "It depends on your preference. Some people like cookies while _some-_ " He glanced over at the unperturbed agents. "-people like candy a little too much."

"I don't like it that much, echidna," Shadow began to explain. "It was about going out of one's way to blatantly hide something."

Knuckles wondered if the owner of the car had moved out of the city yet. "Anyway, Metal, they're both deliciously sweet. It comes down to the person."

"Interesting." Metal looked up at the Halloween bag on the screen. "I will never know my preference."

Eggman was sick of hearing this sob story. "No, you _won't_ , so stop-" He didn't get to finish, for a large bag of assorted candies popped into existence in Metal's lap.

The robot stared down silently before picking out a lollipop and examining it. "This is quite insulting."

Sonic wanted to feel bad, but, "Yeah, the _thing's_ just taunting you at this point. It's more for us, though!" He hopped out of his seat, ready to pluck the treats out of Metal's grasp, but then a bright light blinded him along with everyone else in the room.

Mittens' panicked shout filled the air. "What's going on? Was Sticks right about the aliens? Are they here?!"

"Calm down, Mittens!" Amy placated as the light faded. She rubbed her eyes, them recovering from the sudden pain. "There's no aliens, it's just…" She trailed off, her train of thought derailing off a cliff and bursting into a ball of flames.

Amy couldn't blame her brain for malfunctioning though. She was looking at Metal…but she wasn't looking at a robot anymore. Sitting in that chair was a blue hedgehog. He looked exactly like Sonic except his quills were short and slightly curled upwards. His eyes were a gleaming red, wide as they stared at the candy.

After a quick glance around the room, it was safe to say that everyone was seeing the same thing she was. Good. This wasn't some spontaneous fever dream.

The first one to speak was surprisingly Mittens, who gaped for a moment before asking, "Is he Sonic's brother now…?"

"No, he…" Sonic was flabbergasted, near speechless. "This is – _wow._ "

"Ditto," Tails and Knuckles breathily echoed.

Amy couldn't believe it. "This is crazy!"

"What's crazy is that while my once prized robot got rewarded an actual _body_ , I'm still sitting here when a tent for a shirt and _toddler pants._ "

"Not everything revolves around you, doctor," Rouge jeered. This was definitely worth staying for. "Him gaining the ability to taste is more important than your simple needs."

While Eggman sulked, Shadow couldn't be impressed about this new development. "Great. Another faker to worry about." Though, they had no idea if this was permanent, and he had to admit that it was basically impossible for Metal to be as annoying as Sonic.

Sonic snickered at him. "Well, he's more of my faker, but I guess a faker of a faker is still a faker-" He shook his head because his mind was too scattered for those kinds of thoughts. Instead, he asked the silent hedgehog in the room, "Hey, Mets…you okay?"

Metal glanced at him, a horde of emotions swirling in those red eyes of his, before he dropped his attention back on the lollipop. "I…" He paused at his voice, which was a smidge deeper than Sonic's. "I guess I am."

A small mirror appeared in front of him, and Metal examined his face. After a few seconds, he nodded. "It makes sense that I am still the superior copy even after the change."

Sonic frowned. "Hey, what's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what you think it means," Metal answered as the mirror disappeared and static filled the air.

They all looked at the TV which read, _"You're welcome,"_ before changing back to the paused episode.

Mittens gasped. "Was that the magic ceiling?!"

"Sure was…" Tails couldn't comprehend why this was happening. Did it suddenly grow a conscience? "This is the nicest it's ever been!"

Metal could agree with that, placing a warm hand over his own beating heart. He already knew that he would never get used of the feeling of being alive.

Amy was a little concerned. "But, we don't know how long it'll last. It could be permanent, or it could last like five minutes!"

Eggman hoped that it didn't last forever, then he'd have _no_ chance of somehow reprogramming his robot – former robot? – to be completely homicidal once more.

"I should not waste any time, then." Believe it or not, Metal would rather have this change last for an extended period of time; however, the _thing_ was unpredictable. So, he hurried to unwrap the lollipop, sticking it in his mouth. He pleasantly hummed at the sweet cherry flavor and said, "It is good, but it does not belong on the same tier as cookies. The other selections in the bag could change my mind, though."

Knuckles had believed that no more surprises could be thrown at him after meeting his own _dimensional twin_ , but he guessed that he had been wrong. "It's possible because it looks like you have a ton of stuff to choose fr – where are you going?" Metal was out of his seat at this point, strolling towards the kitchen. "Are you seriously getting more food? You have a whole _bag_ of candy!"

"Mind your business, guardian."

Rouge stifled a chuckle at how offended Knuckles looked. "Let the man have his food, Red. Especially since he's been without it his whole life."

"Forgive me for making the mistake of _caring_ ," Knuckles groused as Metal disappeared. He – along with Sonic and Tails – then eyed the lone bag of candy on the floor. They all nodded at each other and made a move to snag a few pieces.

They didn't get very far, for red-hot lasers came out of nowhere and zapped near each outreaching hand.

Sonic pulled his fingers back, snapping his gaze in the direction of the kitchen. Metal was peeking out of the doorway, his eyes glowing an eerie scarlet. He glared before disappearing once more.

"Heat vision." Sonic put together. "Yeah, that makes sense."

Tails pouted back over to his chair. "That is a very robotic power…" Some of his sadness morphed into curiosity. "Makes me wonder what other abilities he has. Like, is he still fast?"

"Hopefully not." Knuckles almost went for the candy again, but there was a possibility that Metal would aim for his head. "It would be easier to punch him for what just happened."

Sonic smirked. "Wouldn't that be something? Trading his speed for having a real body."

"I honestly wouldn't think he'd mind!" Amy exclaimed. "I think he cares more about food at this point anyway. Which I totally understand."

It was then that Metal returned with a bag of chips, a bag of popcorn, and a soda. He plopped back down in his seat, crunching on the lollipop.

Mittens pointed an accusatory finger at him. "I thought you said that you guys didn't have popcorn!"

"We do not," Metal said around the stick in his mouth.

The echidna huffed.

Sonic was itching to know if the other still had his speed or not. "Do you wanna test out if you still can keep up with me, Mets?"

"Not at this moment." Metal took the cleaned stick out of his mouth and randomly tossed it.

Tails didn't care about the state of his house anymore.

The former robot opened his soda, giving Sonic a look. "I have more important priorities right now, copy." He took a couple gulps and immediately burped. Metal hadn't been ready for it, covering his mouth in shock. Then he frowned up. "Is there a way to stop that from happening?"

Amy giggled. "Keeping your mouth closed should work."

Metal hummed and nodded. "Living bodies are very interesting."

"And so is my precious time." Eggman all but growled. "I'm _so_ happy to find out that all my effort put into you has been wasted, but could we _please_ continue this televised train wreck?"

"Wait." Shadow met Metal's gaze. "Throw me some chocolate."

The hedgehog blinked at him before digging around his in bag. "Any preference in mind?"

"Any kind. I don't care." He needed some kind of stimulation to get through this. All in moderation, though. He refused to be tortured with another sugar high.

Sonic gaped. "You can share with Shadow, but not with the rest of us?"

"I dislike him the least," Metal retorted, tossing the striped hedgehog a chocolate bar with almonds.

"That's…fair, I guess."

**In the middle of the party, a particular bird was talking into a camera.**

Trying to not be so jealous of the former bot's treats, Knuckles said, "I'm guessing that Soar isn't going back into the support business anytime soon."

Tails nodded. "Eggman really had been the last straw."

" **Soar the Eagle here, reporting live from the village center, where the New Year's festivities are in full swing! People have come from far and wide! Men, women, children, celebrities, politicians, some nut in a hot dog suit-"**

**Knuckles perked up, whispering to his friends. "I think he's talking about me!"**

Mittens was giddy as he addressed Rouge. "Do you see that? I was mentioned on TV!" His expression turned smug. "When's the last time that other guy had been pointed out by a celebrity?"

Rouge pretended to think. "Oh, I don't know really. He's a hermit who barely leaves his home, so I doubt any celebrity even _knows_ him."

Knuckles tried so hard to stay out of it, but his body betrayed him. He butted in, stating, "He's good _friends_ with a celebrity, bat-girl, and you know that!"

Sonic smiled. "Aw, thanks, Knux! I'm flattered."

"Shut it."

"What? Seriously?" Mittens asked in surprise before hiding it. "I'm…I'm friends with one too! His…His name is…um…"

Amy jumped in because why not. "Isn't Sonic a celebrity?"

Mittens waved her off with a scoff. "Pfft! I'm more well-known than he is!" No one called him out on it. "But uh, I'm good friends with a famous person too! I just forgot his name!"

Rouge pursed her lips. "Are you sure?"

"Totally!"

Before she could attempt to take the joke further, a pained yelp gained their attentions.

Metal was sticking his tongue out, looking at the bag of popcorn like it had somehow insulted his nonexistent ancestors. Once he realized he was being stared at, he began almost sheepishly, "It…was incredibly hot."

Eggman shouldn't be disappointed, but he was. "Did the transformation give you the IQ of a grape? That is a _steaming_ bag of popcorn, for crying out loud."

Metal's speech was warped because his tongue was still hanging out of his mouth. "If I have the IQ of a grape, then you have one of a used napkin."

"Wow." Knuckles snorted. "He called you used, Eggman. Are you going to take that?"

"I have nothing to prove to anyone," Eggman crisply said, and Metal gave him a jeering look. He didn't take the bait. "That look would be more effective if you put your tongue back where it _belongs._ "

Metal glimpsed down, and his next words were almost a whine. "It still hurts."

"Good."

**Soar continued. "-it would be hard to find anyone who's not having a great time tonight!"**

**In the lair, Eggman was uninterested as Orbot droned on about checkers.**

Sonic snickered. "The desperation won out, huh?"

**The robot pointed to multiple spots on the board. "I could jump you there, or there, but then you could jump me there, or even there, but** _**ooo** _ **, I could double jump you there, and-"**

**Frustrated, Eggman slapped the board off the table, its circular pieces flying everywhere. "This is the** _**worst** _ **New Year's party ever!"**

**Cubot wasn't too happy either. "Well, it is now!"**

Tails furrowed his brow. "I'm more surprised that Orbot was actually beating him in checkers."

Eggman grunted. "That says a lot, doesn't it."

**Orbot left and flew back over with a crockpot. "Let's not forget dear old Orbot's famous mouth-watering slow cooked New Year's roast!" He took the top off the pot to reveal a steaming roast.**

Metal nearly dropped everything at the sight of the delectable meal. "Is there a method where I could obtain that in less than ten seconds?"

"Nope!" Sonic smiled at him. "But once we get out of here, and if you still have a living body, we could take you to a restaurant to get something similar!"

"Elaborate on 'we'."

"Well, me and-"

"Nevermind."

**Eggman wasn't impressed. "It too is just a sad, succulent reminder about how quickly everything else in life moves."**

" **A slow cooker is truly one of life's most poetic small kitchen appliances," Cubot commented.**

"Aren't poems usually short and sweet?" Amy questioned. "I thought microwaves would be the most poetic."

Rouge thought on that. "I would say a blender because no matter what you put in there, someone, somewhere would find it useful and appreciate it."

"I think a toaster would be the most poetic!" Mittens chimed in. "Because I always get confused by it."

Amy and Rouge looked at each other for a second.

"Yeah, that's definitely it."

"You nailed it right on the head, hon."

**Orbot wafted his meal. "If only everything moved at the same pace as the marinating juices of my roast."**

**Eggman scratched his chin in thought. "Then, I'd have another chance to fulfill my New Year's resolution! That's it!" He picked up the crockpot. "If only I would harness the technology of this slow-cooker, I could create a slow-motion machine!"**

Tails repeated those words in his mind to make sure he heard that correctly. "You can't…Does he not know how a slow-cooker works? You can't make a slow-motion machine out of it!"

"He can't hear you." Eggman sighed. "And if he could, he wouldn't listen."

" **And what would that do?" Cubot asked.**

" **Slow everything down!" Orbot answered.**

" **Giving me more time before the end of the year to defeat Sonic!" Eggman tossed the roast out of the cooker, to Orbot and Cubot's surprise, before turning the appliance upside-down. The doctor grabbed a screwdriver and popped off a covering on the bottom. Inside was a red glowing ball. "There it is, the power source that makes a slow cooker cook slowly!"**

Tails resembled a fish out of water. "I…stand corrected?"

"I mean, it's a good idea." Knuckles admitted. "But since it's coming from Eggman, it probably won't work."

Mittens laughed. "Yeah! He's such a pushover! Unlike me!" He flexed for show, making sure that Rouge was looking. "It takes a lot to push me out of the way!"

Knuckles rolled his eyes.

**Orbot was wiping off some of the roast that splashed on him. "And here I thought it was the mixture of patience, low heat, and collected condensation."**

" **Nope," Eggman said as he held the power source in his hand. "Glowing energy ball."**

"The more you know!" Sonic chirped.

**At the party once more, Comedy Chimp was holding the microphone now. "Welcome back to Comedy Chimp's New Year's adequate eve, sponsored by Meh Burger!" He lifted a bowl of chili. "Home of the new Ten Alarm Super Atomic chili!" He dipped a chip and ate it, frowning up. "Ten Alarm? This thing's barely ketchup."**

"Oh. _Ohhh._ "

Several startled eyes swiveled over to Metal.

He stopped mid-chew and subtly waved his half-eaten candy bar. "Was that out loud? My apologies."

"Okay, first off, _never_ make that sound again," Knuckles ordered. "And second, why _?"_

"I did not expect chocolate and caramel to taste amazing together."

Shadow, finishing his own chocolate bar, asked, "Do you have another one of those?"

Metal nibbled some chocolate and nodded. He found one, tossing it right over.

Rouge eyed the treat as Shadow unwrapped it and opened her mouth.

"No, I'm not sharing."

"Well, that's rude."

"Probably."

**Remembering that he was live, Comedy Chimp mended his words. "I mean, uh, I'm sure it'll kick in eventually. Now let's see who's out celebrating!" The chimp held out the microphone to Knuckles, who was wearing a nightcap and holding a pillow. "How about you, sir? Excited?"**

Mittens squirmed excitedly in his seat, remembering this conversation.

" **You bet!" Knuckles agreed. "I just hope the obese man who watches me sleep doesn't think I've been naughty. Otherwise, he might not sneak into my house and leave presents!"**

"Why do you explain holidays so weirdly?" Amy lightly admonished. "That's just Christmas!"

" _That's_ the name of it! Thanks for the reminder!" Mittens smiled in appreciation. "I explained it like that because it's how I remember it!"

"Did you want to scar the children watching too?"

"Only if they had been naughty!"

Amy couldn't respond, really. She knew she wouldn't win this argument.

" **Right…" Comedy Chimp drawled out, confused, before focusing elsewhere. "Oh, there's the Mayor!" He slid over to Fink. "Mr. Mayor, a word?"**

**The Mayor looked at the camera pointed at him, scratching his cheek in worry. "Uh uh…look, the allegations that I use the town's money to buy myself a vacation island are totally untrue!" He laughed nervously.**

Sonic snorted. "He started telling on himself _instantly._ "

Tails did the same. "Guilt does that to people sometimes. They say or do things that don't plan to."

"So…you feel guilty about not building me that blaster yet?"

"Nope."

**Comedy Chimp deadpanned. "I was gonna ask you to say a few words before the start of the countdown."**

" **Oh!" Fink regathered himself. "Well in that case, I just wanna wish everyone a very happy New Year, and you're all welcome to come visit me on my private vacation island! Um, I mean, if I ever get one, of course! No more questions," he said before walking away.**

Amy watched as Metal finished off the chocolate, grabbing a handful of popcorn now that it had cooled off. "Your stomach is going to really hate you later."

"Internal organs do not have feelings," Metal said before shoving snack into his mouth, contently chewing.

"His body isn't used to any of the stuff being piled into it." Rouge was thinking along the same lines of the pinkette. "I'll give him an hour."

Metal's glare was ineffective since he looked like a chubby-faced chipmunk.

**Another conga line formed with Knuckles dancing at the end of it. They went along until they crashed into a pole, releasing star-shaped confetti.**

**While everyone celebrated, Eggman swooped down at the edge of the party, holding his power source. "We're going to slow this next one down, for the ladies!"**

_Please don't_ , Eggman inwardly pleaded. _Just go home and wallow in your miseries by yourself. Pick up a tub of ice cream while you're at it._

**Noticing him, Sonic sprinted over. Meanwhile, Eggman had thrown the red ball into the air and pressed a few buttons, causing it to glow brightly.**

**There was a sudden flash, and Sonic looked around confusedly when his speed slowed along with everything else. He ran from his nearly frozen friends at a normal pace. Knuckles was very slowly dancing in line, and Amy was barely moving while jumping in the air.**

**Sonic tried to run faster, but he couldn't.**

Tails knew that this wasn't going to work. "Even if Eggman is somehow not affected by this, he's still going to lose."

Eggman started to count on his fingers. "Slow robots, no fighting experience, a kick from Sonic would still probably shatter kneecaps…am I missing anything?"

The kit shook his head. "You got them all!"

**Eggman grinned. "Sonic, my little friend! And by friend, I mean enemy. Happy New Year! And by happy, I mean awful. And by New Year, not yet New Year."**

"Was any of that necessary?"

Mittens nodded at Knuckles. "He does that all the time!"

**Sonic slowed to a stop in front of him. "What's going on here, Egghead?"**

**Eggman haughtily crossed his arms. "Isn't it obvious? My slow-motion machine has slowed everything down! Slow, of course, for you is just normal speed."**

**Sonic blinked. "What about you?"**

Amy furrowed her brow. "But Sonic doesn't talk fast though! Wouldn't he sound like everyone else around him?"

"He should, but the physics there is flawed," Tails reminded her.

" **Well," the doctor started. "If you paid attention in evil scientist school in a desperate attempt to get your father's approval, you'd not that-" He cut himself off. "Oh, can't we just skip ahead to the part when I destroy you?"**

Sonic was a tad disappointed. "No, no! Keep going!"

"Yeah, I'm curious." Rouge focused on the man. "More about the father part. Got any family history you'd like to share?"

Eggman huffed. "More than the things you all unfortunately know? No."

The sound akin to a dying chicken filled the room.

Unsurprisingly, it was coming from Metal.

"I'm starting to get tired of your noises," Knuckles bit.

"A kernel-" Metal hacked. "-is stuck in my throat, and I cannot…"

"Just _drink_ something!"

Metal blinked down at his soda. "You are correct."

"I sometimes forget too!" Mittens said to console him. "I think everybody does!"

The former-robot took a swig of his soda. "I will accept your lies for now."

"Lies? Wha-"

Mittens quieted when Rouge tapped him. "He didn't mean any harm by it, sugar."

"Yes, I did."

"Don't listen to him."

Mittens frowned up. "I was just trying to help…"

"And you were doing a great job."

The echidna brightened. "Really?" When Rouge nodded, he hopped out of his chair and went over to the bat, giving her a hug. It was awkward because of the positioning – with him bending over and her on the floor – but Rouge accepted it nonetheless, patting him on the back. He giggled. "Thank you!"

While Amy cooed, Rouge smiled. "Aren't you sweet?"

Sonic detected movement out of the corner of his eye. "Hey Knux, why are you looking away-"

"Sonic, if you don't _shut up._ "

" **Let's go with a classic! Laser beeaaaam!" He raised the wrist device on his arm and fired a laser.**

**That was moving at a snail's pace.**

"That's kinda cool!" Mittens was back in his seat now, cradling the Chaos emerald. "It's like slow moving jello!"

"Jello that could fry your insides…" Tails corrected. "But sure!"

**Sonic wasn't impressed. He yawned and sidestepped the beam when it got close enough, pretending to examine his nails. When it passed, Sonic smirked. "Nice try, Egghead. Your father would be proud."**

Sonic applauded his twin for that.

**Eggman growled. "Robots,** _**attack!** _ **"**

**A horde of robot bees were a distance away, very slowly flying forward.**

Eggman sighed. "As expected."

**Sonic's smirk grew as Eggman floundered. "Uh, well um…they'll be here in a minute." He held up his hands. "Just hang on."**

" **I can't wait around all day for your slow bots," Sonic argued.**

**Eggman frowned. "Alright, I need a new plan."**

" **Here's an idea." Sonic put a hand on his hip. "How about I destroy your slow-motion machine, and we call it a day?"**

"The show can't be almost over yet, right?" Amy asked. "Metal, how much time do we have left?"

Metal stared at her blankly with a mouth filled with chips.

"Oops! Forgot."

"I doubt we're at the end," Knuckles answered instead. They hadn't suffered for long enough this episode yet. "I have a feeling that Sonic won't be able to destroy it."

" _ **Brilliant**_ **plan, Sonic!" The doctor mockingly praised. "Oh wait, totally forgot to mention, if you do that, everyone and everything would be stuck in slow-motion** _ **forever.**_ **"**

"Except for him, for some reason."

Rouge shrugged. "We didn't go to evil scientist school, Blue."

**Sonic groaned.**

" **Tell you what, let's settle this with one final test of our abilities." Eggman suggested, approaching him. "Just you and me, one on one, mano a mano, peaches and cream!"**

That got Metal to stop eating. "Peaches and cream?"

Shadow couldn't be surprised anymore. "We can all agree that he's slowly losing it."

"You would know."

"I'm not going to take that as an insult. Toss me those gummy worms."

" **If you win, maybe just** _ **maybe**_ **I'll be convinced to switch my machine off and return the world to its normal speed."**

**Sonic rose a brow. "Did you just say 'peaches and cream'?"**

Metal severely disliked that they were on the same wavelength.

" **Quit stalling!" Eggman barked.**

**A short while later, everyone was still barely moving while Eggman and Sonic played dominoes at a table in the middle of the party.**

" **Bam!" Sonic slammed down a piece, raising his hands up. "Game over!"**

Eggman felt numb. "Out of all the games…? That one is more based on luck than strategy!"

Tails played with his namesakes. "I'm more interested to why there was a random domino set in the middle of a New Year's party."

**Scowling, Eggman slapped the dominoes off the table. They froze mid-air. "That would've been far more dramatic in normal speed."**

" **Well Eggman, I won fair and square," Sonic said. "Turn off your machine."**

" **Give me one more shot!"**

"Yes, pick something more challenging!"

**The next scene was the duo playing hopscotch.**

Eggman wanted to bang his head against something, wondering why he was cheering for his double in the first place.

**Sonic made it to the end without any problems. He picked up the rock and tossed it in the air, it slowly floating.**

**Eggman tried to do the same, but he ended up falling on his back.**

No one was surprised.

"I'm impressed with how far he had gotten," Rouge said.

**The next event was pole vaulting.**

Amy was so confused. "Why won't he try something that _doesn't_ involve physical exertion?"

Knuckles rose a brow at her. "What, do you _want_ him to win?"

"No! It's just really sad and pathetic."

Metal stifled the incoming burp this time. "You should be used to that by now.

"I know, but – wait." Amy glared at him. "Are you talking about me or Eggman?"

Metal was about to answer, but a hammer popped into existence. He knew all about pain now, so he changed his answer at the last moment. "The doctor, of course."

Amy smiled and nodded.

**Sonic ran forward with the long pole and vaulted over the raised bar with ease, landing on the cushioned padding with a victorious laugh.**

**When Eggman went to try, the pole ended up breaking, and he landed on his back again.**

Mittens furrowed his brow. "Why don't I remember any of this? I was right there the whole time!"

"It's probably because it all happened too fast for you to perceive!" Tails explained. "You blinked and you missed it!"

"Wait…" The echidna stiffened. "Does that mean that someone could be going slow-mo right now? And we just don't know it?"

"Well, it is possible-"

"And could there be someone in this room right now planning on stealing my dear Albert away from me?"

"…There's a very slim chance, but-"

Mittens let out a panicked shriek and wrapped the emerald tightly in his arms.

Rouge tisked. "Look what you did, sugar. You scared him."

Tails slowly turned to Sonic. "I don't know what to say to fix that."

"Don't worry about it, bud. He'll forget all about it in a bit."

**Next, Sonic flipped a coin into the air, but its momentum dropped to a near zero. The hedgehog crossed his arms and yawned.**

**Since that didn't work, the pair moved on to ping pong.**

Knuckles just shook his head. "Might as well try actual tennis while he's at it."

"Soccer too," Rouge added.

"Don't forget about track and field!" Sonic suggested. "Surely Eggman would _kill_ in that."

**Sonic served the ball, and it floated through the air. Thinking that he had the win, Eggman laughed before taking a swing and missing the ball entirely, smashing his paddle through the table.**

Eggman facepalmed.

**Sonic wasn't amused.**

**The next clipped showed Sonic winning bingo. "Bingo!"**

Again.

**Then gin rummy. "Gin!"**

And again.

**And lastly chess. "Checkmate!"**

Sonic perked up at that. "Whoa, seriously? Either Eggy's really blowing it, or my double's just awesome."

Tails smiled. "Either way, I'm really impressed!"

**Eggman frowned, frustrated. "I can't believe that it's come down to this.**

**Sonic's hand moved across a checkerboard, jumping over the doctor's remaining pieces.**

"I hope my twin holds this over Eggy's head for the rest of his life."

" **Man, I** _ **hate**_ **checkers," Eggman glowered, flipping the board. Unsurprisingly, it froze mid-air.**

**Sonic deadpanned at him while Eggman gathered the scattered pieces, threw them on the ground, and stomped on them.**

Knuckles smirked. "It's rare to see a Sonic being the mature one."

Sonic was going to argue that until he realized that he couldn't.

" **Ten!" the villagers began to count down in extreme slow-mo, the ball-bot dropping in sync.**

"Uh oh, he's running out of time!" Amy pointed out.

"There was no logical reason for you to say that. We are all literally watching the same thing."

"Go back to stuffing your face, Metal."

**Eggman slumped. "All I wanted was a chance to beat you in** _**one** _ **thing. Just once before the end of the year! Is that too much for a villain to ask?**

**Sonic's brow creased. "You did all this just to notch some kind of victory over me?"**

"Oh no." Sonic slumped in his seat. "Don't tell me that he's gonna let Eggman win in something."

"He better not," Eggman grumbled. "He does not deserve it. Also, pity wins don't count."

" **Maybe," the man grumbled.**

" **Yeah," Sonic admitted. "I guess I've been pretty dominant this year."**

Amy giggled.

"Ames, no."

**Eggman glared. "You guess? You** _ **guess?**_ **I made a New Year's resolution to beat you** _ **one**_ **time this year! And here I am, ten seconds before midnight, and I can't even win a simple game of checkers!"**

"That seems like a personal problem," Rouge said before quickly snagging a gummy worm from Shadow.

"You owe me."

"I'll pay you back."

"With interest."

" **Nine!" the crowed slowly called out.**

**Sonic snorted. "Tell ya what, Egghead, we still got a couple seconds left. In the spirit of the new year, I challenge you to a dance off."**

"Oh, he's definitely throwing." Knuckles wasn't happy about this turn of events either.

"I mean…it's nice?" Tails admitted. "Everyone needs to start the year on some kind of good note."

"It's Eggman's fault. He would've won something if he just had taken Sonic to a _pool_."

" **A dance off?" Eggman repeated. "What, are you making fun of me? Not cool,** _ **Sonic.**_ **"**

" **Eight!" The ball lowered even more.**

" **I'm serious!" Sonic placated, hands on his hips. "The end of the year is the time for letting loose and having crazy fun. What's more fun than a dance off?"**

Sonic could list many things – defeating Eggman's robots with a chili dog blaster for one – but he had to admit that dancing was pretty fun too.

" **Seven!"**

" **So, are we gonna dance, or what?" Sonic asked.**

**Eggman grinned. "Check this!" He pressed a button on his arm, and music started blasting. He moonwalked before doing some questionable dance moves, ending with a short breakdance and a peace sign. He smirked at Sonic. "Whaaat!"**

Shadow sighed. "I really need to find that bleach."

Tails didn't know what to feel. "It wasn't _that_ bad…"

"What are you guys talking about?" Mittens chuckled, over his scared spell. "That was amazing! I wanna dance against him now!"

Rouge bobbed her head over to the doctor. "You can."

Ecstatic, Mittens faced Eggman. "Can we-"

"Never."

"Aw man…"

" **Six!"**

**Sonic wasn't intimidated. "Aight, aight, my turn!"**

Knuckles cringed. "Sonic, don't _ever-"_

"I _promise_ you that I won't."

**The music played again, and he grooved to the beat before doing a split. From there, he breakdanced, spinning rapidly and finished with a peace sign like Eggman.**

Sonic gave his double a seven out of ten. He could do _way_ better, of course.

" **Five!"**

**Eggman crossed his arms and kicked as the music blasted before spinning around like a crazed top.**

**Sonic sighed. "Here goes nothing." He balanced on his head and spun rapidly, yelling out in surprise when he lost control. Sonic careened into several decoration boxes, landing in one. "Ow…"**

Amy wished the twin had pulled off some crazy moves that left Eggman in the dust, but, "At least it looks somewhat believable!"

" **Four!"**

**Sonic sat up with a slight smile on his face. "Looks like you won, Egghead."**

**Eggman gasped. "I won! I beat Sonic!"**

"I can't believe he actually fell for it."

"He lost to the other Sonic in a game of _chess_ , Rouge," Shadow opposed. "This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone."

**He loudly cackled, looking over to the crowd. "Hey, everybody!" He paused when he saw that the villagers were still stuck in slow-motion. "Oh, right." Eggman pressed a button on his wrist, and everything sped up again.**

**The crowd continued to chant. "Three, two, one!" They all cheered when the ball crashed into the ground. "Happy New Year!"**

Sonic, Tails, and Amy cheered along with everyone else at the party.

**Sticks laughed in excitement, and Tails, grabbing his gun again, shot confetti into the air. Fireworks lit up the night sky.**

" **Hey, everybody!" Eggman held up a hand, gaining their attention. "I beat Sonic! Kneel before me!"**

"That's exactly how world domination works." Eggman thought that meeting his younger self during the Time Eater debacle was bad, but _this._ "Beat your nemesis in a dance-off and poof, you're feared by all."

**Sticks frowned up at him. "What are you talking about?"**

" **It was a dance off, and I won!" Eggman quickly explained. "Didn't you see? It was right here!"**

**Sonic walked up to him. "Technically, it happened in a blink of an eye. Nobody saw anything."**

Rouge grinned. "That was smart, purposely losing a game that no one else could possibly witness."

**Eggman deflated at that. "B-But…I…ugh…"**

" **Well," Sonic's smile was subtle. "Nobody but me." The doctor perked up, and the smile grew. "Happy New Year, Eggman."**

Sonic wasn't so mad about the loss anymore. "Y'know, Eggy, let's all come together at the end of the year and-"

"I appreciate the offer, but no."

"You don't sound like you appreciate it."

"Did you expect me to?"

"Uh…"

"It's your fault that your feelings are hurt, cactus."

" **Happy New Year, you blue son of a gun," Eggman replied amiably, caught off-guard.**

Amy had the urge to clap.

" **Hey, guys!" Knuckles greeted. "I just saw my shadow! Six more weeks of winter!"**

"And I'm sure you weren't wrong," Rouge told Mittens. Since it was the start of the year, winter _had_ to have lasted another two months at least.

"I was totally right!" Mittens said proudly.

Tails wasn't going to ruin the mood by mentioning the lack of groundhogs and sunlight.

**Eggman and Sonic looked at each other and began to chuckle. They looked overhead as more fireworks went off, celebrating the beginning of a new year.**

"Finally," Eggman muttered when the screen faded to black.

"That was a kinda fun episode! Especially with what happened during it." Amy glanced over to Metal, who was relaxing in his chair with crumbs all over him. There weren't any bright lights yet. "Guess you get to be alive for another episode, Metal!"

"I would be very appreciative if I did."

"Just don't make it angry, and you should be fine," Knuckles advised before the static filled the air again. "Speak of the devil…"

Words appeared on the screen. _"Say goodbye to your new friends, Mittens."_

"Aw really?" Mittens stood up as the text faded out, facing the others with a sad smile on his face. "It was fun hanging out with you guys! I'm glad I got to meet you!"

"Right back at you!" Sonic hopped out of his seat as well, Tails and Amy copying his actions. The speedster stepped up to the echidna, expression warm. "And you're welcome back anytime!" If that was even possible.

Amy nodded. "Yeah, we'd love to see you again!"

"And maybe when you come back, we won't be trapped here!" Tails hovered around him. "We could show you our world since we've seen so much of yours!"

Mittens sniffled, placing the Chaos emerald in his chair before wrapping all three of them up in a group hug. It lasted a couple seconds until he released them, allowing the heroes to breathe again.

Knuckles tensed when Mittens focused on him. "I don't do hugs."

"I figured!" Mittens bounded over to him and held out a fist. "I liked meeting you too, but next time, I'm definitely going to beat you in an arm-wrestling match! You just better not cheat again!"

"I never-" Knuckles sighed, giving up the fight for now. Instead, he held up a fist with a subtle grin. "I look forward to it."

Mittens beamed as he bumped their knuckles together.

He then turned on his heel and addressed the ones he wasn't as familiar with. "Eggman, keep being the grump you always are-"

"Wasn't planning on changing."

Mittens regarded the former robot. "-good luck with your new body, Metal-"

Metal simply nodded at him.

"-and um…" He eyed Shadow. "Enjoy the rest of your gummies!"

"I will," Shadow replied after biting the head off of one.

Mitten's laugh was uneasy until he went over to Rouge, who had stood up after the bear hug. There was a faint blush on his cheeks. "Rouge, I-"

Rouge silenced him by putting a hand on his shoulder. "It was fun having you around, sugar." Rouge fluttered up and pecked him on the cheek, causing the blush to deepen. She back off with a smile. "Make sure to say hello to your friends for us."

Mittens didn't get a chance to recover before a white light took him away.

When his vision cleared, Knuckles scowled. "Was that really necessary?"

Rouge looked too innocent. "What do you mean, Red? It was nothing but a friendly goodbye."

"Friendly my ass," he mumbled.

She gave a knowing grin before picking up the forgotten Chaos emerald. "Well, I'm glad that I stopped by for a while-" Even though her work had been for nothing. "-but I'm about to go treat myself to a spa day."

Amy wished she could join her. "So _lucky…_ "

Rouge glanced over at Shadow. "I'll keep an eye on the jewel until you all are set free. Hopefully the _thing_ won't go back on its word."

Tails' gut dropped. "Why would you even say that? Don't encourage it!"

Rouge attempted eased his worries, heading for the door. "I'm sure it won't." She waved over her shoulder. "I'll see all of you sooner or later. Have fun with the rest of your marathon!"

" _Fun_ , she says," Eggman grumbled as she walked out of the front door, disappearing from sight.

"Welp." Sonic returned to his seat. "Time to keep things rolling. We gotta power through the rest of these so-"

There was a hiss, and everyone instinctively faced Metal. The blue hedgehog's mouth was covered, and his eyes were wide as he stared at the green piece of candy on the floor he must've spat out. It was shaped like a ball.

Metal almost looked horrified. "I do not like sour candy."

"Yeah…" Sonic understood completely. "Must've been a Warhead."

* * *

"That's what happened! Do you believe me?"

Knuckles, sitting at a table at Meh Burger, was giving Sonic an expectant look.

The blue hedgehog narrowed his eyes as he processed everything. "The so-called Chaos emerald, the magic ceiling, the mini-version of you, a living Metal, and a Shadow who didn't outright attack you…"

Knuckles nodded enthusiastically. "All true!"

Sonic cocked his head. "And the kiss?"

"Definitely." The echidna tapped his cheek with a grin.

The speedster matched his expression, holding up a hand. "Way to go, Knux! This goes down in the history books!"

Knuckles high-fived him, and they both laughed.

The duo calmed down after a moment, Knuckles pursing his lips in thought.

"Don't strain yourself too much," Sonic said out of genuine worry.

"It's just…" He gave the hedgehog a once-over. "Speaking of kisses, are you and Amy like _together_ together?"

Sonic was as still as a statue. "Uh…well _that_ came out of the blue, didn't it?"

"I know! But I thought you guys were until the other Amy asked me, so I kinda started to doubt it because I didn't have any real proof. So…" Knuckles leaned forward. "Are you?"

He didn't expect Sonic to spring out of his seat so fast. "I have to go um…chop down…some trees, because that's something I gotta do right now! See ya!"

There was a blue streak as he ran away.

"But you didn't answer my question!" Knuckles called after him.

Dave half-heartedly swept his way over to the echidna's table. "That's all the proof you need right there."

Knuckles slumped. "He didn't tell me anything! He just ran off!"

"Exactly."

Knuckles studied him intensely. "…Is this a riddle? I'm not very good with those."

Dave sighed. "I don't get paid enough for this."


	26. Chapter 26

Shadow stared at the piece of sour candy on the floor, it being too close for comfort. He looked at Metal. "If you spit anything on me, I'm breaking everything in you."

The former robot couldn't blame him. "I understand. You are perfectly within reason." Metal dug into his candy bag and searched for a treat that didn't feel like he just shoved a taser into his mouth.

While he did that, Sonic looked at the bag mournfully. It was such a giant stash, and it's unfair that he couldn't have _any._ "Are you sure that you don't want to share, Metal?"

"Yes." Metal was too busy searching through his treats to notice Sonic's mischievous smirk. "Wallow in your sorrows while I-" he interrupted himself with a loud yelp when Sonic tackled him, both hedgehogs crashing to the ground. The bag went flying, and candy was flung all over the floor.

"Free candy!" Sonic grinned victoriously as he pinned a squirming Metal to the ground, straddling his back. "Get your free candy!" Tails, Amy, and Knuckles wasted no time in scavenging the sugary snacks. Eggman scooped up some that landed by him, Shadow doing the same.

Metal was appalled as his supply dwindled. Those _savages._ He attempted to zap Sonic with his heat vision, but he couldn't at this angle. This was utterly barbaric for candy, and the fox just took the last caramel chocolate bar. A heavy weight settled in his gut; he believed this was what sadness felt like.

A growl leaked into his voice as he flutily wiggled under his copy. "If you don't get off me _now_ , I will consider rejoining the doctor's pathetic side."

Eggman decided to let that comment slide as he unwrapped some taffy.

Sonic snickered. "We all know that you won't do that anyway, but 'kay!" He hopped off Metal and snagged some treats for himself. There was still plenty left for downed hedgehog to enjoy; he wasn't _that_ heartless. He just believed that sharing was an important life lesson.

Metal sat up once he was freed, thinking about melting all of the treats the others had stolen from them. He scrapped that idea, however. The candy did not deserve that.

Instead, he retrieved the bag and started to place the remaining candies into it, hoping that his body wasn't showing his disappointment. He had to be wary of emotions now, unfortunately.

Metal then paused when he picked up a mint chocolate bar, remembering that the fox had a preference for this flavor. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Tails getting ready to unwrap the caramel chocolate candy. That would not do.

Metal marched over to him and held out his offering. "Trade with me."

Tails blinked, startled, before perking up. "Oh! Is that a mint chocolate bar? I must've missed it! Yeah, sure! Which one do you-"

"Nah uh! Hold up, Tails," Sonic butted in with a smirk. Metal hated where this was going already. "I think that sounded a bit rude. Ames, Knux, don't you agree?"

Knuckles nodded, pulling a lollipop out of his mouth. "Oh definitely."

"You'd think that someone would be nicer when asking for something," Amy quipped before biting into a peanut butter cup.

Tails was going to trade with Metal anyway because he _really_ wanted that mint chocolate bar, but considering what Metal's done to them in the past…

Tails grinned. "If you want it, you're going to have to say the magic word!"

Sonic was so proud. He had raised him well.

When Metal stared blankly down at him, not answering, Tails reminded himself that the former bot might not understand the common phrases they used. He gave a hint. "It rhymes with sneeze!"

"Do not patronize me, kit. I know what you want me to say," Metal crisply retorted. "I am determining whether or not the chocolate bar is worth humiliating myself for."

Sonic smirked. "It is, and you know it, Mets. Go ahead and spit it out."

Metal hated that he was right.

Ignoring all of the jeering eyes on him, Metal forced himself to ask, "Trade with me…please?" He felt dirty, almost. It was just so unnatural that he, a being so magnificent and intimidating, had been reduced to asking instead of taking-

"Sure!"

Metal decided it was extremely worth it.

Sonic chuckled as they traded candies, Metal returning to his seat. "See, that wasn't so hard!" The other blue hedgehog ignored him as he enjoyed his well-earned chocolate. "How does it feel to be nice?"

"Disgusting."

"It'll grow on you!"

"Like a rash."

"Alright. Keep up with that negativity, and I'm gonna start calling you Shadow."

Both Metal and Shadow glared at him. "Don't."

"Just a little warning."

Disregarding how everyone was chatting it up with his robot that he was supposed to conquer the world with (who was neither on his side _nor_ a robot anymore, funny how his life was a constant downward spiral), Eggman felt physically sick when the name of the next episode popped up on the TV.

" _Battle of the Boy Bands"_ it read.

"Why?" he asked, all of his future torture and turmoil captured in that one word.

"Huh?" Tails took a break from devouring his mint candy and followed the doctor's line of sight. "Oh."

Knuckles let out an explosive sigh. "There's going to be singing and dancing in this, isn't there? Didn't we have enough of that last episode?" He'd rather _not_ see Eggman breakdance again.

Sonic stopped chewing his gummy bears, having a sinking feeling in his gut. "Singing and dancin' I'm fine with, but I have a good guess to who's doing it…"

Knuckles ran a hand down his face. "I swear, if _any_ of the team gets involved, they aren't allowed in this dimension _ever._ "

"Not even Mittens?" Tails asked.

" _Especially_ him."

"Where is your bleach, Tails? I want to be prepared."

"I…don't think I should answer that, Shadow."

Amy giggled at the negativity permeating the room. "Come on, guys! We don't know if its even _about_ that yet!" It totally was, and she was kinda looking forward to it, but she could stand for a _little_ more optimism. "It can be something completely different!"

"Yeah." Knuckles grunted. "Your twin's singing and juggling act might make a reappearance."

Amy's giggles died off. She played the episode, hoping that they were spared of that train wreck.

**The scene began with Soar holding a microphone and staring into a camera. "Breaking news! An epidemic is spreading across the globe: Beaver Fever!"**

Tails slowly blinked. "Well, that took a turn…"

"We all saw the name of the episode. Don't get happy yet." Knuckles wanted to be relieved, but unless the plot of this was about a virus making people singing and dancing zombies, he was keeping his hopes low.

**A crowd watching him on TV warily backed away from the beaver with the bow tie.**

Knuckles snorted. "People should do _that_ twenty-four seven."

**On the screen, Soar explained, "I'm not talking about an actual disease, of course. I'm colorfully describing the mania surrounding teen singing sensation, Justin Beaver!"**

Sonic perked up a bit at that. "Wait, you might be right, Ames. It might be all about this singin' beaver."

"Bands as in _plural_ , Faker. More than one." Shadow corrected. "Being optimistic brings nothing but suffering."

The blue hedgehog rolled his eyes. "So does being pessimistic!"

"Being pessimistic leaves you either right or pleasantly surprised by the outcome."

"But you're never happy!"

"A fair trade."

**A picture of a young blue beaver popped up. Then, footage of his concerts played as Soar talked. "Girls everywhere are going gaga for this teen heartthrob! They just can't get enough of him!"**

"Ugh." Amy groaned, gesturing at the screen. "What in the word do they see in him? He's scrawny, and he really should think about dyeing his fur because that shade of blue does _not_ work for him."

Knuckles rose a brow at her. "Funny you say that when you chase after Sonic every other day."

Tails stifled his laughter while Metal didn't even try to hide it.

Eggman gave a brief applause.

Shadow tossed the echidna a tootsie roll. "Here. You've earned this."

Knuckles mentally patted himself on the back. "Thanks."

Amy loudly sputtered. "I didn't – that doesn't-!"

Ignoring the cackling from Metal and the betrayal from his little bro, Sonic hastily defended his _excellent_ body condition. "I am _not_ scrawny, Knux! I'm aerodynamic! There's a _difference._ "

"Is there?"

"Yes!"

"Metal doesn't think so."

Sonic huffed, glancing at the hedgehog who was enjoying the _false_ comment a little too much. "Why are you even laughin', Mets? You look exactly like me!"

Metal decided that he loved the feeling of laughter, especially at the expense of his copy. "This was not a choice. Your scrawny arms on the other hand…"

Sonic gaped.

Feeling bad, Amy smiled reassuringly at him. "Don't listen to them, Sonic! You're the most toned guy I know!"

Knuckles scoffed, proud of his own build. "Now you're just lying to him."

"I…" Amy faced Sonic, an idea forming in her head. "Let me feel your muscles! Then I know for sure-"

"Y'know what? Let's just drop the subject cuz I know I'm right," Sonic hastily said. His voice may or may have gone a pitch higher.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll just kick Knuckles with my _scrawny_ legs when we get outta here."

The echidna smirked at the challenge. "Bring it on, string bean."

Sonic believed that he was at _least_ a tough piece of celery, but he wasn't going to continue this wrong argument.

**Soar was back on screen, subtly frowning. "And suddenly, dad the anchor bird isn't** _**cool** _ **anymore. Well, maybe Justin Beaver will foot the bill for private school instead of buying those golf clubs he** _**really wanted!** _ **"**

Swallowing his laughter before Sonic could get any revenge on him, Tails frowned as he finished off his chocolate. "Aw, I kinda feel bad for him."

Amy nodded. She looked at the kit and blinked at the melted mess all around his mouth. "Uh, Tails?" When he gazed curiously at her, she continued, "You got a little something…everywhere."

Glancing down at his messy gloves, Tails made the connection. He let out a few embarrassed chuckles. "Oops…" He wiped one corner of his mouth, only smearing the chocolate there farther across his cheek. "Did I get it all?"

Amy deadpanned. "Tails, you ate that thing like it was your last meal _._ Do you really think you got it all?"

"…I'll take that as a no." Tails resisted the urge to gasp in surprise when a box of wet napkins landed in his lap. "Oh, uh…thank you?" he said unsurely because he wasn't used to the _thing_ being so helpful.

Knuckles narrowed his eyes. "First giving Metal an actual body, and now free wet naps? It has to be buttering us up for something."

"Or it _isn't_ and you're makin' it want to," Sonic retorted. Things have been moderately peaceful lately, and he wanted to keep it that way. "It's like you _want_ to be stuck in a time loop or somethin'."

The flashbacks made Shadow shudder.

"Wha-? I don't!" Knuckles stared up at the ceiling and emphasized, "I _don't._ "

Sonic smirked. "I know that being paranoid is like your second job, but cool it, 'kay? Maybe since this is the home stretch, it's cutting us some slack."

"Hopefully," Knuckles muttered under his breath. If it wanted to be nice, it could set them free right now. He wasn't going to say that though. He didn't want to push their fragile luck.

**Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, and Sticks were part of the crowd, watching. The badger wasn't impressed. "Just what this world needs, another cookie cutter pop star forced to us by the man!"**

Amy wanted to be impressed, but, "I'm glad that Sticks wasn't fangirling about this Justin guy, but all pop stars aren't that bad…"

"Everything is _that bad_ for Sticks," Knuckles replied.

**Sonic agreed as the team walked away. "You're right. This Beaver Fever thing is clearly just a marketing ploy to sell substandard music to gullible teenage girls." He scoffed. "Who could** _ **possibly**_ **fall for it?"**

Clean now, Tails noticed the lack of a pink hedgehog and muttered, "The only team member who isn't there…"

Amy refused to believe that her twin would stoop that low.

**Amy suddenly ran up to them, wearing a Justin shirt and holding similar merchandise. "Isn't Justin great?"**

Amy held her head in her hands, wondering why every single beaver in that dimension loved to make things worse. The beaver with a bow tie, Dave, and now Justin! Did those buck-teeth make them so insecure that they took their anger out on other people?!

"I'm surprised she's all gaga for him considering she basically has another skinny blue-furred rodent as a boyfriend."

"Watch it, Knux. I still need to get payback from that below-the-belt kick."

"That wasn't my fault. It was _all_ you."

Sonic inwardly winced at the remembrance of the pain, chewing on red licorice and pouting, "It was _your_ leg…"

**Amy's smile was a little too wide. "When I listened to his first song 'Girl, I like you', I wasn't sure if Justin was actually talking about me, but then, his next song was titled 'Yes, I'm actually talking about you', and I like** _**totally** _ **freaked out!"**

_Please don't let the entire episode be like this,_ Eggman thought before frowning. "She's crazier than normal."

Tails nodded. "She's worse than Sticks right now, and that's saying a lot…"

**Sticks was concerned. "How can you allow yourself to become a pawn of the corporate fat cats?"**

**Amy wasn't bothered at all. "Before you judge, just listen to one track! I don't want to overhype it-" She threw her things into the air, hysterically giggling. "-but he's the greatest entertainer who ever** _**lived!** _ **"**

Metal's ears folded downwards to avoid damage from her screeching. "Someone needs to turn her off immediately. She can't produce those sounds if she's unconscious."

Amy understood why he was saying it – she had never been _that_ bad, right? – but he should have learned his lesson about pain by now. "Metal, doing so would hurt-"

"Use chloroform. She may struggle, but the process is painless."

Shadow nodded. "He's right."

Amy glanced between the two hedgehogs, slightly worried about the general health of…everyone. "Okay, you two aren't allowed to team up like ever."

Neither boys responded to her, and her concern marginally grew.

**Now in Amy's shack, music filled the air.**

" _ **Girl, it's time that I told you about my serious condition."**_

**Amy was giddy while the rest looked like they would rather be anywhere else.**

" _ **I can't stop thinking about you, had to call a physician."**_

**While Amy danced, Sonic groaned and turned off the boombox. "That was** _**terrible.** _ **"**

Tails' whole body was cringing, wishing that the last ten seconds never happened. "You can say that again! Was that seriously him singing?"

Knuckles crunched down on his lollipop. "You could've told me that someone was raking their nails on a chalkboard to background music, and I would've believed you."

Amy shook her head in disbelief. "Everyone is addicted to _that?_ Those poor, poor girls…"

"I take pity on their families." Eggman didn't have sympathy for people often, but he was sure this song – among others – was played on repeat in many households.

"I'm just…" Sonic didn't understand at _all._ "People actually pay money for that?"

Tails reluctantly nodded. "Apparently…"

**Knuckles shuddered. "I finally have a soundtrack for my nightmares."**

Knuckles agreed wholeheartedly.

" **I…" Sticks thought for a second before bouncing in her seat. "Love it!"**

"What?!" echoed around the room.

Shadow had made a conscious effort to pay no attention to the noisy badger, but he knew enough to say, "The music has to be unnaturally affecting them. There is no other reason to why she would listen to something equivalent to a blazing pile of shit."

Sonic slowly blinked. "I don't want to say you're right, but you're not wrong…?"

**Amy smiled. "I knew that I could rely on Sticks to be the voice of reason!"**

"I'm surprised that their whole world didn't collapse upon itself at that statement," Knuckles uttered.

"That would technically be impossible." Metal nodded. "But I agree."

**Tails wasn't on the same wavelength. "We're through the looking glass here, people. White is black, and black is white…"**

"Took the words right out of my mouth…" Tails tapped his chin, pondering. "Something is seriously wrong here."

All Eggman wanted was his twin to _not_ be the cause of it.

**The pinkette couldn't keep still. "Wait until you hear the rest of the album!" She laughed, and Sticks joined in with her. It was loud and high-pitched.**

Everyone hastily covered their ears, and Sonic groaned. "I'd rather have the air horn than this!"

"If I've ever sounded like that, I'm so _so_ sorry…" Amy whined.

" **Hey Sticks, you're still on for rock climbing tomorrow?" Sonic asked.**

" **Uh, sure, whatever."**

**Then the girls went back to squealing.**

Knuckles felt a headache coming on. No one should be tortured like this. "I will bet _anything_ that she's not going rock climbing." Sticks was too busy blowing out peoples' eardrums.

**Later on, the boys were walking into the badger's burrow. "Hello, Sticks?" Sonic called out, Knuckles and Tails trailing him. "You ready to go?"**

**They stopped in their tracks at the abundance of Justin cups, banners, flags, pictures, and other merch scattered around the place.**

"Yeah, if she didn't need a therapist before, she definitely needs one now." Sonic gazed at all of the stuff, slightly terrified. "Obsessing about one person that much has gotta be unhealthy."

Amy chose not to comment.

**Knuckles frowned. "What happened in here?"**

**Sticks suddenly ran up to them, startling the trio. "I turned my burrow into a totes adorbs tribute to Justin!"**

"Totes…" Amy began incredulously, "Somebody _please_ help her."

" **Oh…" Sonic put a hand on his hip, eyes wide. "Is that what's going on here?"**

" **Sticks! Sticks!" Amy, still wearing a Justin shirt, sprinted into the home with energetic waves. She stopped in front of the badger. "You're not gonna believe it! Justin Beaver is in town, and he's doing a signing at the music shop right now!" They screeched.**

Tails sunk in his seat, whimpering. "The music has to be doing something to them! Those sounds they are making are so unnatural!"

Sonic protected his ears as much as he could, but the shrill voices still hit like a truck. "I blame Knuckles for this! He called out the _thing_ being nice, and look what happened!"

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "This just proved that I was right! The candy is a poor excuse of a distraction from this nonsense!"

"Do not insult the candy," Metal chastised, narrowing his eyes. "They have done nothing to you."

Knuckles didn't have a response to that.

**Amy continued, "And, he'll be performing a concert at village center this weekend!" They screeched again, causing the boys to cover their ears.**

" **You** _ **really**_ **need to stop doing that," Sonic groused.**

Shadow honestly would have slapped them at this point to shut them up.

**Overly giddy, Sticks asked, "What should we wear?"**

" **I was thinking about wearing the one outfit that I own!"**

" **Me too!"**

**They squealed before running off.**

Disregarding the mind-numbing shrieks, Amy mused about what was just said. "Huh…I've never thought about it before, but she and Sticks really do only wear one outfit…" It was unsurprising for Sticks because she was…Sticks, but her twin?

Tails massaged his ears. "Well, technically the other Amy has two now because of that Justin shirt."

"She better burn that by the end of this." Amy huffed. "Everything about this beaver needs to be erased, and black does _not_ flatter her at all."

**Sonic rolled his eyes, addressing Knuckles and Tails, "I can understand Amy fangirling out, but Sticks? There's something fishy about this Beaver Fever…" He tapped his chin. "We need to investigate."**

"Please do…" Knuckles sighed out, chewing on some chocolate-covered peanuts. "And don't talk to Amy or Sticks again until you're done."

**The scene changed to the village center where there was a long line of girls waiting at a booth. Team Sonic was watching from afar.**

**A ferret with a red checkered hat and glasses was speaking over soft music. "I hope you ladies are ready because here he is! The boy who'd sweep you off your feet if he didn't have such tiny little arms, your favorite global pop phenomenon: Justin Beaver!"**

**The teenage beaver walked out of a building, waving to everyone. The women went crazy as he sat at the booth with a wink.**

Sonic winced, wanting to curl into himself to escape this horror. "How is no one deaf because of that?!"

"Apparently those females had gained the power to scream like banshees without growing hoarse or damaging their ear drums." Metal found comfort in Fun Dip. "They are dangerous."

**Justin signed a piece of paper and held it out to a female fox. "You're the only fan I care about." He did the same for a purple bandicoot with a red bandana. "You're the only fan I care about." And for Lady Walrus as well. "You're the only fan I care about."**

Tails frowned. "There's definitely something up with his music because they shouldn't fall for that!"

" _Shouldn't_ is the key word there," Knuckles grumbled. "Think it's some kind of mind control?"

"It has to be! Otherwise, the whole village really needs professional help."

Sonic glanced over to the doctor. "Do you think that its your double workin' behind the scenes, Eggy?"

Eggman was rubbing his temples, the dull pain there not caused by the rodents in the room for once. "I hope not because this plan is completely atrocious. I wouldn't stoop so low to use substandard musicians to control people. I would do it myself _without_ the screeching!"

The heroes released a relieved sigh.

Sonic gave him a thumbs up. "Thanks for having standards, Egghead."

Of course. What was the point of ruling the world if he went deaf in the process?

**She put a hand on her forehead. "Be my baby!" And collapsed to the ground.**

Shadow deadpanned as he finished the rest of his gummy worms. "Doesn't she have a child?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Amy answered with a disappointed frown.

**The hat-wearing ferret sighed. "Just step over her." Then he muttered to himself, "We're not selling enough merch." He yelled at a cat dj-ing off to the side, "Turn up the track!"**

**He did. The females screamed and hastily bought more CDs, shouting all the while.**

"That proves it!" Tails miraculously yelled over the noise. "The music's making them all bonkers!"

"Well, the heroes need to hurry the hell up and fix the problem because I can only take so much." Knuckles would willingly – somehow – cross dimensions and deal with it himself if need be. There would be smashed CDs and broken stereos if he got involved.

**Sonic narrowed his eyes. "Whatever's going on,** _**that** _ **guy's behind it."**

**The boys went to approach the booth, but a large hippo slid in their way. He held out a halting hand. "Music industry professionals only."**

Knuckles heavily exhaled. "And…there it is."

"I mean…" Tails didn't understand why girls could get stuff signed while the boys had to be actual _musicians_ to approach the booth, but he digressed. "I know that I don't have any rhythm or know how to carry a tune, but maybe my twin can?"

Sonic understood where the kit was coming from. "Yeah, maybe them starting a group won't be _so_ bad. My double can dance – not as good as me, but still – the other Tails might have some talent, and the other Knuckles…"

Knuckles gave him a level stare. " _Don't_ tell me that you think he can sing or dance to save his life."

As long as Amy's twin didn't start singing, she was down for this. "He might surprise you, Knuckles!"

"He can't read _._ "

"Yeah, well…"

**Knuckles scoffed. "Don't worry, I got this!" He pulled a trumpet out of nowhere and began to play it…badly. The hippo didn't look impressed.**

Knuckles' expression screamed _I told you so._ "This is going to be a disaster."

**Tails glanced at Sonic and whispered, "How are we gonna convince this guy we're in the music biz?"**

**Sonic smirked. "I know** _**just** _ **what to do."**

Sonic felt a little better at how sure his twin was. "This'll work out, guys! Did you hear how confident he sounded? They have to know something we don't!"

Amy giggled. "Yeah, maybe they have some kind of musical background!"

"Considering the sounds that came out of that trumpet, I doubt it." Knuckles braced himself for what's to come. "And confidence doesn't mean anything! You can be confident all you want that you'll learn how to make ice cream out of thin air, but you can't!"

"Not with that attitude," Sonic and Amy muttered.

"Whatever performance they do cannot be worse than the demonic screeches those females make," Metal said. "I would gladly listen to the echidna's terrible trumpet than them."

Knuckles sighed again. "I _guess_ you're right."

"I know I am."

**The trio were now in Sonic's shack. He exclaimed, "We'll form our very own boy band!"**

**Tails rose a brow. "Did you really have to bring us all the way down here to finish that sentence?"**

"Reaching new levels of annoyance, I'm not surprised," Shadow murmured.

Sonic heard him. "I think it's kinda funny! Keeps people on their toes, you know? Like this one time…" he trailed off when everyone was looking at him, listening.

A few seconds passed of awkward silence.

Shadow glared. "I hate you."

"Seconded," Metal said while Eggman took a calming breath.

Tails was more astonished than anything. "I…can't believe we all just fell for that."

Knuckles shook his head when Sonic started to laugh. "I'm angrier at myself than him."

Amy pouted because it actually seemed like an interesting story Sonic was about to start. She gave the blue hero a pointed stare. "That's never going to work again, you know!"

Sonic snickered. "I just wanted to see if I could pull it off!" He gave himself props for that one.

" **A boy band?" Knuckles questioned. "We'll lose our street cred! What about our machismo?" Then he hummed, smiling. "Hm…cheese-mo."**

Knuckles resisted the urge to facepalm. "Just _why_ is he…" He changed course because the 'why' would never be answered. "He wasn't that stupid when he was here, right? He was dumb, but not _that_ dumb."

Tails twiddled his thumbs. "Well…he did think that someone was trying to take the Chaos emerald from him using slow-motion."

"Yeah." Knuckles didn't know why he thought differently. "Yeah, he did."

**Sonic didn't look happy about it either. "I know, but if we wanna find out what's going on with the girls, we're going to have to man up."**

"By doing the complete opposite?" Amy asked.

**Tails wasn't completely on board just yet. "And by 'man up', you mean rehearse a choreographed dance routine in matching sequined outfits?"**

She felt extremely validated.

Knuckles wasn't as positive. "They have to wear matching outfits _too?_ "

Metal nodded. "In order to catch the attention of those brainless consumer zombies, yes. At least they are not singing."

"Yet."

" **Exactly!" Sonic affirmed. "It's gonna take a lot of hard work, so we better get started."**

**The very next scene was them dancing perfectly in sync wearing matching white outfits and microphones. Sonic ended up sliding on his knees when the song ended.**

"Huh." Sonic hadn't thought that it would be a disaster, but it was better than expected. "They aren't half bad! Even your twin, Knux!"

Knuckles reluctantly agreed, but, "Half bad still doesn't mean that I want to _watch_ it."

"I do!" Amy was completely invested at this point. The other Tails was adorable, the other Knuckles was…Knuckles, and the other Sonic knew exactly what he was doing. "And it looked easy enough to do, too! Maybe you guys could-"

"No." Knuckles shut that down immediately.

Tails wasn't for it either. "Did you not hear me when I said that can't sing or dance…?"

"You can learn!"

Sonic waved the giddy pinkette off. "Even if we all had the talent, I don't think it'd be a good idea to start a band. It's too much responsibility, I've got too many fangirls as is-" He was careful to avert his gaze. "-and it would cut into my beat-the-crap-out-of-Eggman time!"

The doctor rolled his eyes and muttered, "Oh, if you want to be trapped in the cursed world of show business, don't let _me_ stop you."

Amy subtly slumped, but she wasn't too disappointed. She could always daydream.

**Sonic was impressed with himself. "That was way easier than I thought."**

**Behind him, Tails brought up, "Now, we just have to pick a name!"**

Tails furrowed his brow. "Is Team Sonic not a good enough name?"

On second thought, maybe it was a good idea that they weren't taking the musical route. Amy tisked. "Of course not! The name has to be showier and more eye-catching so you'll get noticed!"

"I'm sure that anything with Sonic in the name would grab attention."

"No, that's…" Amy trailed off. "Nevermind, you're right."

**The speedster checked his communicator/watch. "Well, we still got a little montage time left."**

Metal rose a brow. "Montage time?" Usually only the watchers call time lapses montages, not the ones experiencing the time lapse.

He sucked on a ring pop. _Interesting._

**Music started playing as Sonic crumpled up a sheet of paper and tossed it in the trash. A hanging clock showed time whizzing by. Knuckles perked up like he had an idea, but then he slumped because he actually didn't.**

**Another piece of paper was thrown in the trash. Tails was writing an equation on a chalk board, but he shook his head and erased part of it.**

Sonic snickered. "Is it really that hard?"

"It's an art!" Amy retorted. "It has to be perfect because the name follows you for life! It'll be engraved on your gravestone, written in history books!"

"Aren't you bein' a little dramatic?"

"Nope!"

**More paper went in the trash, it filling up. Calendar pages were constantly floating down now.**

Tails was confused. "Are months really going by?"

**The music cut when Sonic yelled, "Knuckles, stop tearing pages off that calendar!"**

**Knuckles whirled around, pages in hand. "Okay, fine!"**

"I guess that answers that."

**The blue hedgehog gestured to the papers on the table. "We're supposed to be thinking of band names!"**

**Knuckles frowned in thought. "I was saving this name for if I ever formed a band, but how about…" He grinned. "Dude-itude?"**

Knuckles was marginally impressed, a rarity when it came to this show. "It's not a terrible name."

"Not terrible? It's awesome!" Sonic argued with a grin. "Though I wouldn't give it to a boy band. It has more of a rock vibe to it. Like if Shadow ever started a band, that would be their name." He chuckled at the image. "Shads, you should-"

"I would rather eat my left glove."

"You don't even know what I was gonna say!"

"I can make an educated guess."

" **That's too awesome sounding," Sonic opposed. "It needs to be something soft and inoffensive. Something like…"**

**Tails chimed in. "Dreamboat Express?"**

" _ **Ew…**_ **" they all groaned before Sonic smiled. "It's perfect!"**

Tails had to agree that it was a perfect name, but, "How did he even come up with that?"

"Seems like he just put random words together," Knuckles grunted.

**Wearing the outfits again, the boys walked back to the village center.**

**The hippo was still there. "Music industry professionals only."**

" **We** _ **are**_ **music industry professionals," Sonic argued. "We're Justin's opening act!"**

**They did the dance again, this time adding little vocals that went to the beat of the music.**

Sonic wasn't as enthusiastic anymore. "Uh, they should've just stuck with the dancing." They were off-key, sorta out of synch, and it wasn't working.

"They should have bypassed the route completely and just threatened the ferret in charge."

"That's not very heroic, Mets!"

"It is the definition of being heroic. Heroes defeat villains."

"But-"

"Being nice is an unnecessary trait."

"Say it louder for the people in the back," Shadow uttered around a lollipop.

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Don't listen to Shadow! You're new to the game, Mets. You want people to like you!"

Metal pursed his lips. "Do I?"

"Yes!"

"I care more about food than public opinion."

Sonic wisely gave up the argument there because food always won no matter what.

**The hippo wasn't swayed, shaking his head.**

**Knuckles sighed. "I guess that this is the end of Dreamboat Express."**

" **Dreamboat Express?" The hippo lit up. "With a name like that, you gotta be professionals." He unhooked a red rope blocking off most of the stage set and props.**

"So a group can be complete garbage, but still make it big time because of their name?" Knuckles nodded, his sarcasm palpable. "No arguments there."

**The team crept behind a large cardboard cutout, peeking around it at the ferret from before.**

" **There he is," Sonic whispered. "Now to find out his evil scheme…"**

**The cat the ferret was talking to read off a piece of paper. "Your three o'clock got moved to six o'clock, your six o'clock got moved to four o'clock-"**

Eggman shook his head at the complexity. "All of that seems extremely unnecessary."

"Like all of your plans?" Metal retorted.

Different body, same sassy personality. Eggman didn't know why he thought Metal would be too distracted by the novelties to target him.

" **I guess it makes sense that he wouldn't conveniently reveal his evil scheme the exact moment we happen to be listening," Tails mused logically.**

**The ferret then said, "Shifting gears completely, how's our evil scheme coming along?"**

Amy laughed at their luck. "It's like he _wanted_ the team to find him out!"

Tails smiled. "The luck balance of the universe works in mysterious ways!"

" **Looking good!" The cat grinned. "Tonight, Justin will debut his new single which has fifty percent more mind control."**

" **Perfect!" The ferret chirped. "Any female within a five mile radius will be turned into a mindless consumer zombie, and I'll be reaping the profits!" He let out an evil laugh.**

"Wait…" Amy just now realized the absence of a particular egg-shaped human. "So Eggman isn't behind this plan, then? Will he show up at all this episode?"

"He will _now_ since you brought him up," Eggman grumbled with a glare. "Though I would appreciate taking a break from his failures."

Knuckles snorted. "He's busy getting better at chess so he wouldn't lose to Sonic next time."

**Team Sonic ducked down behind the cardboard. They were oblivious of the workers carrying it away.**

If the rodents had been _that_ bad at stealth, Eggman would have taken over the world ages ago.

" **Mind control…" Sonic began. "That explains it."**

**The ferret instantly noticed them and pointed. "Intruders! Get them!"**

**Next was a chase scene with the heroes running away from, chasing, and slowly backing into the stage crew. They scared each other off.**

Tails gaped like a fish before eventually getting out, "I guess they did get away…"

_The hard way_ , Sonic mused before saying, "Did they forget that my twin is the fastest thing _alive_ and that Tails could fly?"

The kit assumed so. "They were panicking, so I give them a pass."

**At Amy's shack, the pinkette wasn't enthused at all.**

Knuckles groaned. _Them_ again. "Prepare your ears."

" **Mind control? That's preposterous! Justin would never do that!" She clasped her hands together. "He and I have a special bond."**

" **Us too!" Sticks declared. "He even wrote a song only about me! It's called, 'Every single girl I've ever met'."**

"It's like arguing with a brick wall!" Amy knew that they were being mind controlled, but this still was ridiculous. Who knew that radio hits would be so dangerous?

" **But it's true!" Knuckles tried to argue. "Justin's producer conveniently revealed the whole scheme** _ **right**_ **in front of us!" He chuckled. "Talk about lazy writing."**

"Lazy writing?" Sonic repeated, confused. "What in the world is he talking about?

Knuckles gave him a pointed look. "It came out of my twin's mouth. Are you _really_ questioning it at this point?"

"But it seems different this time! Look how smug he is about it!"

"It's obviously a weird joke about how easy it was to find out the truth, Faker." Shadow cut in, tired of this conversation. "Let it go."

"Sor- _ry_ for asking!" Sonic huffed. You'd think that candy would mellow people out, but nooooo.

**Amy wasn't persuaded. "Trust us, guys. We're** _**not** _ **under mind control!" She looked at Sticks. "Let's get to that concert so we can spend our life savings on Justin Beaver merchandise!"**

**They screamed as they left the room.**

" **Don't worry." Tails crossed his arms, confident in his idea. "I know just what to do!"**

Tails quietly cheered as the ringing in his ears slowly but surely went away.

"He always has a plan, guaranteed," Knuckles said, cursing the strength of feminine vocal cords.

**The scene switched to Tails' workshop. The kit was working on something on a table. "Since the mind control is embedded in Justin's music track, there must be an opposite sound frequency that could counter it. We just need to find it." He held up his invention. "Thus, the Measure-o-meter!"**

"He could work on the name a little, but cool invention!" Tails gushed. "And he finished it so fast too! I know he probably was working on it beforehand and tweaked it for this purpose, but still!"

Sonic snickered. "Every group needs a Tails! How could they have fixed this problem without him?"

"Threats."

"Chloroform."

Sonic pointedly ignored the two edgy hedgehogs in the room.

**Sonic smirked. "It's fun to bring people a long way to finish a sentence, isn't it?"**

**Tails nodded. "It really is!"**

"Sonic had been fine with waiting all that time?"

"Of course, Knux! He knows how great it feels!"

**It was now nighttime, and the Justin Beaver stage was set up. A large crowd of girls filled up the floor space.**

The whole room filled with dread.

**An announcer boomed overhead. "And now, here he is, the nocturnal semi-aquatic rodent of your dreams: Justin Beaver!"**

**The crowd cheered as the lights flashed on, revealing the popstar.**

Sonic's shoulders relaxed. The screaming was bad but not nails-on-a-chalkboard bad. He would take loud over high-pitched any day.

**Team Sonic watched before sneaking off to the side.**

**Tails examined his invention. "In order for me to calibrate the Measure-o-meter, we need to get on that stage without being seen."**

Amy was skeptical. "With those outfits? There's no way."

Knuckles crunched on a candy bar. "And with how loud this concert's going to be, they _have_ to be right there on stage?"

" **Hey, you there!" The same hippo from earlier called out to them. They whirled around only for the bodyguard to gesture backstage. "The show's starting! The opening act needs to be on that stage!" The trio whistled innocently as they passed him. The hippo smiled. "** _ **Man,**_ **I'm good at my job. What would they do without me?"**

"He's going to get fired immediately after this is over."

Everyone agreed with Sonic's statement.

**Standing on the side of the stage now, Sonic asked Tails, "Has your Measure-o-meter discovered the counter-frequency?"**

**Tails frowned. "Not yet. We have to stall Justin!"**

**The boys ran up to the pop star, causing Justin to eye them warily. "Who are you?"**

**The team posed, and Sonic answered, "Dreamboat Express!" He groaned. "Ugh, I hate that name." Louder now, he pointed at the beaver. "And we challenge you to a sing-off!"**

Tails already felt the secondhand embarrassment coming on. "How about just a dance-off? That should be a good enough distraction, right?"

"Or simply tackle him to the ground," Metal supplied.

"That too!"

Amy imagined that not going too well. There might be a couple broken bones involved. "If they did that, they'd be dealing with a horde of mind-controlled rapid fangirls."

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles winced at the visual. There was no getting out of that unscathed.

Knuckles accepted their fate. "Let's just hope that the song isn't too cringe-worthy."

"It will be."

" _Hope,_ Shadow. There has to be traces of that somewhere in you."

"Pessimism is key."

**Behind the curtains, the ferret director glared. "What are** _**they** _ **doing here?"**

**Music blared, and Dreamboat Express began to perform.**

Amy danced a little in her seat, anxious and excited.

" **You should expect the expected, and nothing more! Because you've all heard this song and dance before!" They grooved to the beat. "Our moves are stale, our harmony's bland, and we're just another –** _ **woohoo!**_ **" They spun in place. "Generic boy band!"**

Sonic found himself tapping his foot to the beat. "Okay, okay, they're not bad! It's not perfect, but the lyrics honestly make up for it!"

"Yeah!" Tails was slightly swaying back and forth. "And they look like they're having fun with it too! Even the other Knuckles!"

Knuckles couldn't keep the amusement out of his tone. "It works because they're not taking it seriously. It would be a _whole_ different story if they actually sang a love song."

Amy fought the urge to squeal. She pictured the boys singing to a soft melody with Sonic looking at her, holding out a hand for her to take and _ohmygosh._ "This is so amazing! Are you guys _sure_ that-"

"Yes, Amy. We're sure," the trio answered.

**Down on the floor, Amy was awed. "Wow! They're pretty good!"**

**Sticks nodded in agreeance. "I'd love to meet those guys someday!"**

Sonic blinked in confusion. "They got amnesia too?" He gasped, glancing at Shadow. "Is that what happened when you fell to earth, Shads? Did you get hypnotized by the voice of a prepubescent teenager?"

He hastily ducked a gumball hurled right at his eye.

**Justin took this time to jump into the spotlight, shooing the heroes away. His high voice filled the air. "I've got a bold confession, and I think it's time you knew…" He pointed to the crowd. "I'm into you, specifically girl, and no other girl will do."**

Justin's voice violently shattered Amy's daydream, and she gave a thumbs down. "Boo! Get off the stage!"

While Eggman was secretly hoping that this weird torture would end, he almost didn't want it to. With how long they've been watching this episode, he doubted his twin would show up. That would be a first, and _hopefully_ not the last.

He knew the chances were slim. Let him dream.

" **He's talking about me!" Amy and Sticks chorused before shouting at each other, "In your face!"**

**Justin winked, but his performance was interrupted by Team Sonic again.**

Metal was relieved. That better had been the last time he opened his buck-toothed mouth. "Does he _have_ to sound like a woman giving birth?"

Sonic held up a couple fingers. "Two things. One, it's showbiz, and two, how do you even know what that sounds like?"

"I have the approximate knowledge of many things."

"But…alright." Sonic was going to leave the subject alone.

**They marched back onstage, singing, "Yo, yo, yo! We're bringing it weak, and we're bringing it lame! Whatever we can do to keep it all the same! We're focus-tested and radio friendly!"**

**Tails stepped up, going solo. "The only thing that matters is that we stay trendy!"**

"He's not wrong," Knuckles scoffed, but his words were eaten up by a giggling Amy.

"Awww!" she cooed. "Tails, Tails, Tails! You could totally do that! Your voice is cute enough to sound good even if it's not perfect!"

Tails scratched his arm, appreciative of the praise and bashful at the same time. "Amy…why don't you get into the musical scene since you love it so much?"

Amy waved him off. "Ew, me? I can't sing!"

Hypocrisy at its finest.

**Justin reclaimed the attention, gazing to the audience. "You're unique, you're complex and interesting, girl! And I'm not being hyperbolic!" He gestured to himself. "Let's carve our name into a tree! It's vandalism…but symbolic!"**

Amy wanted to gag. There was a such thing as _too_ romantic. This guy was trying way too hard.

**And Dreamboat Express was back.**

" **You should expect the expected, and nothing more-**

Sonic and Tails were mouthing the words at this point. Knuckles was fighting hard not to.

**-because you've all heard this song and dance before! Our phony-baloney image is bland because we're just another** _**– hah! –** _ **generic boy band!"**

**Justin wasn't going to quit. "Those feelings for my special girl… We'll do things you want to do. And take a trip to the place you like. But be home before** _**curfeeeeewww!"** _

Everyone cringed at the high note, groans echoing in the space.

"Of _course_ he would be the one thing worse than the girls!" Knuckles gritted out.

**He held that high note long enough for Tails' invention to start beeping.**

" **The counter frequency!" Tails scanned the readings. "Of course! I should've known all along!"**

" _Please_ stop this madness!" Eggman pleaded. He was at his limit.

If the boy hit another note like that again, Shadow was going to lose it.

Knuckles noticed his expression. "Yeah, for all of our sakes."

**There was a cut to Sonic shredding an electric guitar. Tails was also holding one, and Knuckles was in the back on the drums.**

Sonic loudly laughed. "Yes! This is gonna be good!"

Amy wriggled in her seat. "You look so amazing together!"

"My twin knows how to play the guitar?!" Tails perked up, his grin splitting his face in half. "Awesome!"

"Doesn't know how to read or count, but he can play the drums…" Knuckles wasn't as upset as he should have been. "Makes sense."

" **Drop that generic phat beat!" Sonic shouted, and the audience cheered.**

"They still shouldn't sing…or talk," Metal commented.

"If the music's good, who cares?" Sonic retorted, pumped for what's coming up.

"You should."

"Shhh!"

**The ferret gasped. "Not rock and roll!" He ran off.**

**Knuckles held his drumsticks in the air. "Ladies and uh…ladies! Prepare for the bad boy musical stylings of…** _**Dude-itude!** _ **"**

**Sonic took the lead, strumming and singing as the others backed him up. "You thought we'd never beat the beaver, but now we're here to make you believers! Sonic and crew, rockin' with the chemistry! Crummy boy band music is the enemy!"**

"Heck yeah!" Amy was out of her seat now, dancing. "Down with the boy bands! Down with the boy bands!" Sonic chanted along with her, followed by Tails and eventually Knuckles.

**The speedster turned, his guitar firing a sound wave that knocked Justin over and snapped the crowed out of their mind control trance.**

There was boisterous cheering now. Sonic and Tails were out of their seats too. "Down with the boy bands! Down with the boy bands!"

**Amy blinked, looking around. "What happened? Where are we?"**

**Sticks shrugged. "I don't know, but listen to that** _**sweet** _ **guitar solo!"**

Sonic and Tails were back-to-back, air guitaring like crazy. Knuckles did subtle drumming motions, and even Metal was tapping his fingers to the beat.

He would deny everything if asked.

**Dude-itude continued playing as the audience threw away their Justin Beaver merch.**

**Justin groaned before standing up. "Your power rock ballad has freed me from the evil spell of mind control!"**

"He was under too?!" Amy asked, still swaying back and forth. "Now I kinda feel bad about insulting him…"

" **Now I can move into an industry where I won't be exploited by unscrupulous producers!" He smiled. "Hello humiliating reality TV series!"**

Amy sighed and enjoyed the music once more.

**The ferret director slumped in despair. "I'm ruined…I'm** _**ruined!** _ **"**

**The boys were still having fun on stage. "We're here-" Sonic started.**

**Tails jumped in. "We're Dude-itude!"**

**The speedster smirked. "I know you may find us crude and rude! We have to conclude, you'll come unglued, now that you've heard us-"**

**They all –** including Sonic and Tails – **sung out, "Dude-itude!"**

The episode ended, and the ones standing plopped back down in their seats with unabashed chuckles.

"That ending almost made up for everything that happened earlier!" Sonic picked up his discarded candy and bit into another twist of licorice. "I'm thinkin' about learning how to play the guitar now!"

Amy eagerly leaned forward in her chair. "Oh. My. Gosh. _Please._ "

Sonic didn't like that glint in her eyes. _Or maybe not…_

Knuckles eyed his last piece of candy, a Warhead – the same brand Metal spat out earlier – before shrugging and trying it. "If the rest of the episodes are like the end of this one, I'd be completely fine with it."

Tails nodded. "No Eggman shenanigans, cool tunes, it was great! I wish Mittens could come back so I can ask how he learned to play the drums so well!"

"He can stay where he is," Shadow countered, though he had to admit that the ending _could_ have been worse.

"The same could be said about my twin." Eggman stroked his mustache. "He should stay out of sight in that base of his until we get out of here."

Metal got as comfortable in his chair as he could, feeling a bit full now. "You know that will not happen, doctor."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Metal. I appreciate it."

"Anytime."

Knuckles glanced over at the former robot as he sucked on the sour candy. "Metal, why did you spit out the Warhead again? It's not even that sour."

"What?" Metal met his gaze, frowning. "It had not been a conscious decision. My body ejected it immediately because of the intensity."

Sonic barked out a laugh. "Your tolerance must be terrible, Mets! I can handle those things just fine!" 'Just fine' was pushing it. His tongue might be on the verge of shriveling up and dying, but he'd never spat anything out that was too sour.

"I have _your_ body, so my tolerance is equal to yours." Metal glared before correcting, "No, I am the superior being, so it is actually better."

Sonic smirked. "Are you sure about that?"

Metal didn't back down. "Absolutely."

"Then let's test that out, shall we?" The blue hero searched around for more sour candies lying around. "The hedgehog with the best tolerance is the one who…" Sonic trailed off when a small table appeared in the middle of the room. He saw the bag of tortilla chips and the row of different kinds of hot sauces. His breath caught in his throat. "Wait no."

Knuckles grinned wickedly at the set-up. "This is what you wanted, right?"

"No! I was talking about _sour_ stuff, not-"

"Feeling scared now, copy?" Metal didn't hesitate to approach the table, obviously not realizing what he was about to get into. "If you are undoubtfully inferior to me in every shape and form, just say so, and we can continue with the episodes with no problem."

Sonic couldn't do that. He had a reputation to keep. After taking a deep breath, he scoffed. "You _wish_ it was that easy, Metal! Wanna try some sauces? You're on!" He went up to the table as well, looking at the five bottles. Seeing Knuckles' grin out of the corner of his eye, he beckoned, "You get over here too, Knux! Since you're so excited and all!"

Knuckles nonchalantly shrugged as he stood. "Sure. Don't be mad when I beat you two by a landslide."

Sonic's and Metal's scoffs were near identical.

Sonic then called over to Shadow, who had been ready to enjoy the pain and suffering that was sure to follow. "You're playin' too, Shads! Come on!"

Shadow wasn't going to be swayed that easily. "I'll pass."

"So, you're admitting that me, Knuckles, _and_ Metal are better than you?"

"No. I know better than to stoop to your levels."

"Oh _sure._ "

Silence reigned for a pregnant moment.

"Dammit." Shadow scowled as he stood, glaring hard at the smug looks he received. "I will be laughing in your faces while you all writhe in agony on the floor."

Metal raised his chin. "You will be the one on the floor, Ultimate Lifeform."

"Say that again, but slowly."

Sonic snickered. "Titles mean nothing here! We gotta compete to see who's the winner!"

Even though he was a participant, Knuckles' grin hadn't waned.

Tails hovered to the table with Amy at his side. They were staying well away from the competition, but their curiosities were strong.

The kit picked up the hot sauce at one end of the line-up. He gasped when he read the label. "This is a million on the Scoville scale! That's insane!"

Amy bit her lip, a little worried. "Are you sure that you guys want to do this?"

Sonic nodded. "Definitely!"

"I have to prove that I am the best," Metal declared.

Shadow grunted, and Knuckles couldn't wait to start.

Eggman, still sitting, believed that this was the most idiotic waste of time until a video recorder appeared in his lap.

A devious smile grew.

_On second thought…_


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally managed to update! The spice challenge takes up about six thousand words, so I hope you enjoy the suffering!

Sonic saw Eggman pick up a video recorder out of the corner of his eye, and he had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, he would have proof of winning the competition by a landslide if things went well. One the _other_ hand, he might have to violently destroy the evidence if things went south.

Coincidentally, Shadow and Metal were thinking the exact same thing.

However, Knuckles just couldn't wait to get his hands on the video when they were done. He had a high spice tolerance due to the many peppers he had experimented with on his island. He _seriously_ doubted Sonic would be able to keep up despite his love for chili, and Metal…he almost felt sorry for him.

Shadow was a wildcard, but Knuckles still felt confident that he'd be the winner of this little ego contest.

Amy and Tails glanced at each other, both knowing that this was a _terrible_ idea and that tears could possibly be shed. The pinkette sighed and went with it. There was no convincing them all out of it; she had a better chance of beating Sonic in a race.

"If you all are so sure about this…" Amy looked at all the types of hot sauce and winced. She had _zero_ tolerance for spice. Her tongue would probably burn off with this stuff, if that was possible. "How are we going to decide who wins? The one who lasts the longest?"

As if to answer her question, a carton of milk and four pints of ice cream appeared on the table.

Sonic was caught off-guard because while he'd _never_ say no to ice cream, this gift was kinda random. "Uh…what?"

Tails scanned the assortment of vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and mint chocolate chip. He refrained from grabbing the latter for himself. "Dairy products help with the burn of the hot sauce! It calms down the burn much faster than water can." Tails eyed the milk and already saw it spilled all over the floor. "I guess we could say that the last one to resort to it wins?"

Understanding now, Sonic nodded. "Sounds like a plan!" He smirked at his opponents. "Last chance to drop out! You don't want me to embarrass you on camera!"

"You want us to drop out?" Knuckles opened the bag of chips, grabbing one. Then he flipped the top of the first hot sauce, it labeled '1,000 Scoville units'. He knowingly grinned as a tiny pool of spice formed on the chip. "Are you that desperate to end the competition before it even starts?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, Knux! I'm not-"

Shadow interrupted him with a scoff as he grabbed the sauce and prepared his own chip the same way. "Of course he is. You saw him when the sauces first popped in. He's going to be on the floor, regretting his existence soon enough." He bobbed his head at Metal, ignoring Sonic's incredulous gaze. "Right after the bot."

Metal narrowed his eyes as he snatched the bottle away from the striped one. How _dare_ he imply that he was lesser than his frail copy. "Excuse me?"

"You're excused."

Metal regretted ever sharing his candy with him. "I am better than my copy in _every_ way, Ultimate Lifeform. There has been no doubt."

Sonic jumped into the conversation, not appreciating all of these false accusations. "Except, I dunno, all the times I've _beaten_ you? Eggy, you got a count?"

"I've been disappointed in him too many times to keep track," Eggman murmured as he messed with the video camera. He had to get the _crispest_ quality for this inevitable train wreck.

"It goes both ways," Metal bit back before addressing Sonic, "At least I am _not_ the one stalling."

Sonic's brow furrowed. "Stalling? I'm not stalling!"

"Says the one who has _yet_ to prepare for the first level of this challenge."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "I was just letting you guys do it before I did! It's called being _nice,_ Mets. You should try it sometime."

Metal's right arm twitched. "Would anyone oppose if I poured this directly down my copy's throat?"

Shadow didn't care as long as he made it snappy. He didn't need this shitshow to go on for too long. "Do what you want."

"Eh." Knuckles shrugged. "It's the first round. Shouldn't be that spicy."

Sonic hastily grabbed the bottle before Metal acted on any urges. Dying by choking on hot sauce was arguably the lamest way to go. "Glad that I have such _caring_ friends!"

"It's tough love."

"We aren't friends."

Sonic pointedly ignored a smirking Knuckles and an apathetic Shadow as he prepared his chip. "I can't _wait_ until all of this is over so I can rub my win in all your faces." He grinned as he imagined it, placing down the bottle. Eyeing the redness on the chip, he asked, "So, how are we doin' this? Are we counting down?"

"Yeah! We can count down from five." Tails nodded, and the participants got ready. "And between each round…is a minute enough before moving on to the next level?"

"A minute? That's no time!" Eggman opposed. A minute was not _nearly_ enough time for his enemies to suffer. "Make it two! I'll keep track with the timer on here," he offered, patting video recorder.

"Two minutes isn't too bad…" Amy mused. _For now, at least,_ she added in her mind before asking, "Is that cool with everyone?"

"Totally!" Sonic chirped, and she only received affirmative grunts from everyone else.

Amy held up her hand, starting to count down. "Alright, then! Five…four…three…" The boys lifted the chips closer to their mouths. "Two…one…go!"

Eggman had begun recording when the countdown started, grinning as the competitors consumed the first level of sauce. He knew that he wasn't going to get any noticeable reactions this round, but oh _boy_ was it coming.

Sonic chuckled as he chewed and swallowed with no problem. "That wasn't bad! Had a bit of a kick to it, but I've definitely eaten chili as spicy as this!"

Knuckles was tempted to eat another because it was pretty good. "Yeah, but keep in mind this is the _first_ sauce, and it's already on par with your chili."

"I know you're tryin' to scare me, Knux, but it ain't working!" Sonic waved him off, confidently smirking. "I've been inside _volcanoes._ I can handle a little hea-" The rest of his words died out when there were a couple coughs beside him. He turned to see Metal quietly clearing his throat and deliberately not meeting anyone's gaze. Sonic teased, "You okay over there, Mets? Startin' to feel something?"

The heat was a surprise, but it was easily manageable. Metal had never eaten anything spicy in his life. He was only caught off-guard. "No. A section of unchewed chip went down my throat. It had been the sole irritant that caused the coughing."

A blind man could see that he was bluffing. "Riiiiight," Sonic mockingly drawled out.

Tails never thought that he would be concerned about the robot that he endangered their lives so many times before, but here he was. "Are you sure that you want to do this, Metal? You're still getting used to your body, and it's only going to get worse from here…"

"He already said that he was fine." Shadow picked up the next hot sauce labeled '10,000', feeling the subtle heat linger on his tongue. "Do we have to wait two minutes for this? We don't need to drag this out longer than it has to."

Amy figured that he had a point. It would be just a waste of time with them simply waiting around. "We could move on to speed it up a little. Is everyone ready for round two now?"

All eyes fell on Metal, and he scowled. "I am _fine._ Do not make me repeat myself."

Shadow didn't need to be told twice. He poured the sauce on another chip, and the rest of the boys followed his lead.

"So, this one is ten times as strong as the first, huh?" Sonic grinned, still feeling sure about his future triumphant victory. "No sweat!"

Amy counted down once more, and the chips entered awaiting mouths.

"Oh." Knuckles felt the kick this time, but it still was tame to him. "Really upped the ante with this one." His purposefully lighthearted tone earned him a snort from Sonic. "Everyone doing alright?"

Metal immediately answered with a round of dry coughs, covering his mouth.

Sonic rose a haughty brow even though his tongue was starting to protest. He was nowhere near his limit, though. "Choking on the chip again?"

Metal leaned on the table as his fit subsided. "Yes." His voice was tight, and the heat was spreading. He sniffed and managed to smother any more coughs that threatened to escape. He'd shown too much weakness already. "It seems like I am not completely used to the process of chewing in this new form."

Eggman zoomed in on Metal's face, seeing moistness in the former bot's eyes that hadn't been there before.

He was going to cherish this video until the day he died.

"Sounds like a half-assed excuse to me," Shadow said as the spice made itself known in his mouth. "You ate candy and popcorn with no problem earlier."

"No one asked for your-" Metal coughed into his hand, hating his irritated throat and lungs and everything associated. "-opinion."

Knuckles picked up the pint of chocolate ice cream and held it out to Metal. "You don't want to go farther. Trust me."

The blue hedgehog took it and tossed it back onto the table. "Underestimate me again, echidna, and I will make sure to-" He was interrupted yet _again_ by a coughing fit.

Knuckles was going to milk this for it was worth. "Want to repeat that? Didn't quite catch what you said."

All he received was a red-hot glare.

Amy was a bit worried. "Don't forget that he has heat vision, Knuckles. You don't wanna leave here with burnt quills." That was the definition of a bad hair _month._

Knuckles didn't forget. However, he was sure that Metal was too busy with the burning in his mouth to scorch anything else.

While the clock ticked and the heat simmered, Tails read the label of the next sauce. "It's 100,000 on the Scoville scale… That's a hundred times hotter than the first one!"

"Easy peasy!" Sonic scoffed at that, absently wondering if taste buds could be burned off doing these kinds of things. They couldn't, right? He had _no_ idea what he would do if the perfection of chili dogs were taken away from him.

Metal was subtly taking deeper breaths as Knuckles asked Eggman, "How much more time we got?"

The doctor had stood up at this point to get better angles. "About thirty seconds."

"I guess you guys can get ready for the next round," Tails suggested, holding the next bottle out.

Metal took it first, sneakily observing his opponents' conditions. He was trying with some difficultly to hide his discomfort while they didn't seem to be going through it at all. Was there some kind of tactic he was missing out on?

He didn't dare ask, instead taking the steady burn like the _superior_ being he was. It surely couldn't get much worse than this. The labels were nothing but placebo.

It wasn't long before Metal was holding his prepared chip along with the others. Tails counted down this time, and on 'go', Metal plopped the snack in his mouth and chewed with no hesitation.

This sauce didn't seem that much hotter than the one before it. He had been right. This was just a – oh.

Oh no.

It was worse.

Sonic had just swallowed the sauce, his foot tapping like crazy because _wow._ He tried to smother the coughs, but they erupted from him without his consent.

There was a hand patting his back, and he glanced over to see Knuckles grinning and completely unbothered. "Couldn't handle that one with a smile, string bean? It does pack a punch."

"You don't-" Sonic resisted the urge to fan his mouth because it was somehow getting _hotter._ "-feel anything?" Maybe Knuckles' taste buds had already burned off doing something on that strange island of his.

"Oh, I feel it. Guess I have a high tolerance," Knuckles taunted before focusing on the other blue hedgehog. Metal had his hands planted on the table, panting like he had run a marathon. He was staring forward like he'd witnessed a murder. "Unlike him."

"I have an _exceptional_ tolerance _._ " Metal argued, wondering if his tongue was actually burning. "Mortal mouths cannot spontaneously catch fire, correct?"

Knuckles stared at him. "You do realize we have two more of these, right?"

"I am fully aware. You did not answer my question."

"…No. No they can't."

Sonic smirked as his rapidly tapped his fingers on the table, enduring the heat. It wasn't _that_ bad, just uh…irritating. He cleared his throat and said, "The ice cream's right there, y'know! You seem to love chocolate-"

"If you move that pint towards me, I will melt your fingers."

Sonic wisely left the dairy alone. Instead, he turned his head and asked, "How you holdin' up over there, Shads?"

Shadow, watching Metal suffer, raised an aloof brow at him. His mouth – and every single taste bud within – was being attacked with no mercy, but he made sure his expression remained unreadable.

Shadow opened his mouth to make a snarky reply, but the only thing that came out was a loud hiccup.

His eyes widened at the noise, his hand rushing to muffle the next one. Shadow glowered as they kept coming, hating how his own body was betraying him and the jeering looks from Sonic and Knuckles.

"What the-" Hiccup. "- _hell?"_

Tails was twiddling his fingers, trying hard to keep any amusement at bay because Shadow could easily jump over the table to get to him. "I think it's the capsaicin in the sauce! It's an irritant, so it seems like your diaphragm doesn't like it in your system that much."

Sonic took this welcome distraction and ran with it. "What?" he drawled, teasing. "You're telling me that the _Ultimate Lifeform_ can't handle the spice? Learn somethin' new every day."

Shadow gritted his teeth, narrowing his eyes at Tails and gesturing to the rest of them. "Then why didn't _they-_ " Another hiccup. "-get them too?!"

Tails meekly shrugged. "Everyone's body is different, so…"

Shadow cursed Gerald for not somehow predicting this issue.

Metal felt lucky that he dodged that bullet.

Eggman laughed, focusing his lens on the striped hedgehog. "Looks like you have to win this, Shadow, or these hiccups of yours would add to your embarrassing loss."

Shadow debated going over and smashing that camera, but given that the _thing_ had provided it, he had a feeling that it would be a waste of time and energy.

The doctor was right, though. He _had_ to win this to cancel out these annoying-

He hiccupped again.

"Can. We. Move. On?" Shadow ground out, ready to make the others suffer, especially that echidna. It was clear that Metal was suffering, and Sonic was failing to hide his discomfort as well. Knuckles was the one to beat.

"Yep!" Eggman jollily answered, enjoying this too much.

"500,000 on the scale…" Amy murmured as she scooted that bottle forward. She was almost afraid to touch the thing. Amy lifted her gaze, seeing Sonic's strained grin, Metal's thousand-yard stare, and Shadow's fight to control his own body.

She couldn't be paid to do this.

Knuckles was the first to pour it on a chip. He sniffed the sauce and automatically knew that this was one was going to be bad. "Prepare yourselves," was all he said to the others.

"That scare tactic isn't gonna work, Knux. Good try, though!" Sonic retorted and grabbed the bottle, inwardly wishing that the warning hadn't been sincere. Wait, no. He shouldn't feel so hesitant about this. He was Sonic the Hedgehog! This was just another battle he had to win!

"…one…go!"

He threw it in his mouth and _instantly_ regretted doing so. He needed to check Knuckles' citations about the mouth combustion thing because he was _pretty_ sure it was happening.

Sonic miraculously managed to swallow it, feeling the fire coat his tongue and throat. He knew that keeping his cool was important, but screw it. He fanned his muzzle, the wind being nowhere near enough to sooth the burn.

There was frantic movement to his right. Metal was hastily reaching for the chocolate ice cream. Just when Sonic thought he was about to drop out of the competition, Metal ignored the top altogether and rested his forehead on the pint with a tortured groan.

"How are you now, Mets?" Sonic's voice cracked a bit. Apparently, talking made it a lot worse. Great.

"I am…" Metal had closed his eyes at this point, pressing more against the ice cream like it was lifeline.

When he trailed off, Sonic finished for him. "In pain?"

All he got was a weak nod.

"Join the club."

Shadow was currently losing a two-front war. The hiccups _refused_ to go away, and now keeping his mouth closed was no longer a viable option if he wanted to ever taste again after this stupid competition.

He cut his eyes over to Knuckles, who was _finally_ showing signs of been affected. Unfortunately, it wasn't much. His brow was creased, and his muzzle was somewhat flushed from the heat. Dammit.

"What exactly-" Hiccup. "-do you eat-" Another one. Shadow wondered if he _really_ needed his diaphragm. "-on that island?"

"Natural stuff." Knuckles would've expanded on that, but his tongue wasn't having it. Despite only being five times as strong as the one before, it seemed like a _massive_ jump. He raked his hand through his hanging quills, taking deep breaths.

Sonic didn't have it in him to taunt. His foot tapped even faster against the floor until he realized that he needed to move. Staying still wasn't making things any better.

He rested his hands on the top of his head, stepped away from the table, and started walking in circles.

"It's not that hot, it's not that hot," he kept telling himself. "It's not that hot, it's not – oh _Chaos, I can't take it._ " He whirled around to face Tails, itching for _some_ kind of relief. "Is there any rules about drinking water?"

The kit shook his head. "No, but you don't want to because…and he's gone."

Shadow glared at the entrance of the kitchen, having half the mind to follow just to get rid of these damn hiccups. "Is that not – _hic_ – cheating?"

Eggman's grin was splitting his face in half. "Not really! Water does nothing to help with the burn. In fact, it only spreads it around, making the pain-"

"It's worse! _"_ There was a screech from the kitchen, and Sonic ran out with betrayal written all over his face. His words were breathy and strained. "It's _so much worse._ Tails, I thought we were bros? Amigos? We help each other! A bro doesn't metaphorically give his bro a match to light the gasoline in his mouth!"

"You didn't let me finish what I was trying to say!" Tails defended himself.

"Plus…" Knuckles cleared his irritated throat. "He only gave you the match. You lit it."

Sonic was leaning over at this point with his hands on his knees. He was taking the deepest breaths he could manage. "But everyone knows I'm irresponsible! I'm a risk taker, impulsive, and if you told me not to light gasoline with a match, I'd probably do it just to see what happens!"

"Fire happens, Sonic."

"Yes, fire! Like the fire in my mouth! My poor, poor mouth…"

Amy furrowed her brow. "What even is this conversation…?"

Shadow couldn't be surprised. "Looks like his brain is – _hic_ – melting as well."

Tails was growing more and more concerned for the health of his big bro. "You're sounding like you need some ice cream, Sonic…"

Sonic shook his head, waving him off. "No, no I'm fine."

"Metal said that too, and look at him."

Sonic pointedly ignored Knuckles. "I'm not at my limit yet, I can take some more!" He zipped over to the kit and ruffled his bangs. "And sorry about what I said before. My mouth is currently my worst enemy at the moment, and-"

Tails chuckled. "It's okay! Your situation is pretty bad-"

"And it's about to get worse!" Eggman nearly sing-songed, gesturing to the last bottle. "Get to it, rodents!"

Sonic looked at the million hot sauce, and his body screamed at him not to do it. But he _had_ to. He might – would – fully regret this in a few minutes; however, he never backed down from a challenge.

Sonic took a chip and reached for the bottle, mentally preparing himself. "I just can't believe…" He swallowed thickly, wincing at the burn. "…that people eat this stuff _willingly._ "

"They're maso – _hic –_ chists."

Knuckles wholeheartedly agreed. He understood that people like food that bite back sometimes, but this was basically assault. "Hurry and do it so we can finish this thing up."

Sonic smirked at that, and somehow his _lips_ were on fire too. Awesome. "What happened to that cool and calm Knucklehead from earlier?"

"The same thing that happened to your cocky attitude."

Sonic thought for a moment. "Engulfed in flames?"

"Exactly."

Sonic then coated his chip in the edible lava, Shadow and Knuckles doing the same. Metal hadn't lifted his head up yet.

"Uh, Mets?" Sonic looked around at everyone else's varying degrees of concern before nudging the former robot. "You still with us?"

It took moment, but Metal eventually peeled his face off of the pint of ice cream. His eyes were extremely glossy, tears stained his cheeks, and his whole face was flushed.

He didn't answer Sonic, instead reaching for the bottle. Knuckles moved it away because despite what he'd done in the past, Metal didn't deserve to death by hot sauce. "I think you should call it quits, Metal."

"Give me the bottle, guardian." Metal's voice was hoarse and barely audible.

When Sonic and Knuckles shared an uncertain look, Shadow shrugged. "If he – _hic_ – wants to do it to himself, then let – _hic_ – him."

Amy bit her lip in worry when Metal poured the sauce. "You don't feel physically sick, do you? Because if you do, you _really_ shouldn't eat that."

"I am perfectly healthy." Metal's lie was a broken whisper. He wiped the tears off his face and ordered, "Count down."

She reluctantly did so. "Five…four…three…two…one…go!"

The four boys simultaneously ate the sauced chip, chewed, and froze all at the same time. Tails frantically looked at all of them, for even Knuckles was completely still with his wide eyes trained on the table.

"Hey…" He waved his hand in front of their faces and didn't get a response. He disregarded Eggman giddily jogging over to get perfect shots of their expressions, asking, "Are you guys alright?"

Sonic was the first to focus on him. "This was a mistake." His voice had been no louder than Metal's.

Shadow's was the complete opposite. " _Shit!_ " he hissed as he stood up, his hiccups interrupting his harsh breathing. Shadow quickly glanced around before zooming over to a plastic chair and throwing it against a wall.

Tails and Amy stared speechless as Shadow stomped that one into pieces before moving on to a next.

Knuckles had drifted over to the nearest window. He began punching at it like it had insulted his entire family tree. He was yelling as if maybe the exertion would help with the intense heat.

It wouldn't, but Tails wasn't going to risk telling him that now.

"I swallowed it. Why did I swallow it? I should've spat it back out because now I can feel the burn all the way down to my _stomach_ , and I'm sure that's not healthy. I've ran through blizzards, fought battles in space, danced on top of lava, but _this_ – oh. Oh _Chaos_. Am I on fire? I'm pretty sure I'm on fire."

Sonic was now on the floor.

He had collapsed on his back, spread eagle, and began muttering to himself. His words were strained and breathy, but he kept going, questioning his existence, the profitability of hot sauce, and the boiling point of blood.

"This…is painful to watch," Amy muttered to Tails as another chair soared through the air.

He nodded and said just as lowly, "You can say that again."

When Eggman managed to take over the world, he would play this video on repeat until the end of time. "I'm having the time of my life!"

Amy didn't bother responding to him, for Metal was still at the table. His was holding his head in his hands; his mouth was agape, his eyes were stormy, and tears were dripping off his chin.

"Whoa!" Amy went to stand beside him because this was supposed to be a competition, not _torture._ She lowered her voice so the others couldn't hear. "Metal, _please_ eat or drink something! I know that you want to win, but this isn't worth it!"

Metal tried to speak, but it was a low whine instead that was barely heard over Knuckles' punches.

Tails pushed the ice cream closer to him. "No one's going to hold it against you if you eat it! I know you think Sonic might, but honestly, there aren't any winners in this competition…" This wasn't worth bragging rights, in his opinion.

Metal stared at the two of them, fingers tensely digging into his quills, until he snapped his attention to Eggman. Tails and Amy looked as well to see the man recording them. However, after a brief stare down, a miniscule frown appeared on the doctor's face, and he walked away to film Shadow breaking a leg off a chair.

Amy smiled in relief. She met Metal's gaze once more and reassured, "We won't think less of you."

"…I wonder if fire extinguishers work. Tails, do fire extinguishers work?!"

Tails couldn't stifle his snicker at Sonic's yell. "No, they don't!" When the speedster went back to muttering, the kit opened the pint of chocolate ice cream. A spoon magically appeared in his hand. He didn't question it as he held the utensil out. "You're obviously really hurting, and you have to listen to your body now that you have a living one, okay?"

Metal stared at the spoon, an obvious war going on in his head, until one side won out. He grabbed it with trembling fingers and dug out a large spoonful ice cream, shoving it into his mouth.

Amy released a relieved sigh. She honestly didn't think Metal would listen and end up passed out on the floor.

The blue hedgehog closed his eyes and shakily exhaled at the coolness, and Tails tentatively asked, "Feeling better? At least a little?"

Metal's nod was curt. He was enjoying another scoop when his eyes flew open, body stiff.

"What's wrong?" Amy asked, searching for anything off. Metal didn't verbally answer, his unoccupied hand going to rest on his stomach. She saw this and how green he suddenly looked in the face; she put the pieces together instantly. Amy gasped and nearly shrieked, "Bathroom! Toilet! _Go!_ "

Metal seemed to understand her frantic shouts, abandoning his ice cream and stumbling over his feet as he ran.

Tails felt a little sick himself. "Better in there than out here…"

He and Amy then looked at each other, for Metal was definitely going to need some kind of help in there. However, they both knew that there could possibly be a mess, and neither of them were eager to volunteer.

There was only one solution to this problem.

"Noes goes."

Tails put a finger on his nose a second before Amy, and she gaped at him. "That's not fair! I didn't know that you were going to do that!"

He gave an apologetic smile. "Have to abide by the rules, Amy."

Amy slumped in defeat before jogging to the bathroom, hoping with _all_ of her might that Metal had at least made it to the sink.

"Huh?" Sonic croaked, still on the floor. "What's going-" He groaned when the heat seemed to spike, wondering if someone could learn to breath fire by doing this. "Just _why_."

Knuckles was breathing heavy when he took a break from wailing on the window. He had seen Metal hightail it out of the room in his periphery. "Looks like…" He stressfully rubbed his forehead, the burn never ending. "…all that Metal's put in his body finally caught up with him."

Tails nodded at that. "Yeah, he ate some ice cream to cool the heat, but it apparently wasn't enough…"

Shadow, wiping sweat off his brow, rasped, "He lasted – _hic –_ longer than I thought – _hic_ – he would."

Sonic felt bad about initiating this whole thing, but Metal should be fine after getting everything out of his system, right? Hopefully it wasn't anything serious. Well, more serious than basically ingesting plasma from the sun.

"One down, three to go!" Eggman announced, sweeping the room with his video recorder. "Who will be the next one to lose? You don't have to answer immediately, though. Stretch this out as long as you can, rodents!" Seeing them unravel was possibly the best things that has happened to him today.

Sonic sat up, panting. "Shads, Knux, could both of you just drop out so we all can end this? I'd appreciate it."

Knuckles knew what he was doing and wasn't falling for it. "Yeah, when _you_ and Shadow do it first."

Shadow narrowed his eyes. "Absolutely _not._ " He did not endure this unusual torture just to throw in the towel.

Knuckles flexed his sore fingers. "Then, this is just going to end in a tie."

Shadow was going to respond to him, but something popped into existence on the table, catching his attention. He glanced over there, and everyone followed his line of sight.

There were three peppers sitting on a plate, and the notecard behind them read: _"Have this nice tie-breaker. One of the hottest peppers to exist. 2.2 million Scoville units."_

Sonic saw his life flash before his eyes.

"Two point two…" Knuckles trailed off as common sense and the primal instinct to _survive_ slapped him in the face. "You know what? No." He went back over to the table, opened the carton of milk, and chugged a few gulps. He wiped his mouth after lowering it, already feeling the relief. "It's not worth it. You two can battle it out."

He sat in one of the few remaining chairs with the carton, ready to watch the show.

Eggman was somewhat disappointed, but it didn't last for long. Shadow and Sonic hadn't waved the white flag yet, gazing at the peppers before staring each other down.

Tails' gut sank. "Guys, I know you want to win this, but this _really_ isn't a good idea! It's basically half the power of _pepper spray!_ "

His warning fell on deaf ears. Shadow and Sonic stepped back up to the table. There was no taunting and teasing going on; they were straight-faced, looking like they were about to go to war.

The room was silent – Eggman was snickering under his breath as he zoomed in – as the duo picked up the peppers, noses scrunching up at the intense smell.

Then they looked at Tails, and he sighed. "Five…four…three…two…one…" He bit his lip and muttered, "Go."

They threw the peppers into their mouths, chewed, and swallowed.

Shadow gagged, and Sonic whimpered.

Barely five seconds passed before they both frantically stuffed their faces with ice cream.

"Uh…" Tails glanced back and forth between them, watching them eat the ice cream like that was a competition in itself. "I think it was a tie."

Shadow said something incomprehensible as Sonic dropped his head in his hand. Tails barely heard him when he said, "It's not going away."

"Well, yeah," the kit answered, glad that he wasn't in their shoes. "Dairy helps, but it won't instantly get rid of the burn. It works over time."

"Science _sucks,_ " was all Sonic murmured before shoveling the coldness into his mouth again.

Shadow hiccupped, and he had a coughing fit when the dessert went down the wrong pipe.

"You might want to slow down a little, Shadow," Tails advised.

"Shut the – _hic_ – hell up."

"But you might get a brain freeze!"

"What did I just – _argh!"_ Shadow slammed his elbows on the table and cradled his head, loudly hissing in pain.

Tails wisely kept the ' _I told you so'_ to himself.

Seeing this, Sonic marginally slowed down not wanting to put his body through even _more_ stress.

Despite the throbbing in his head, Shadow kept eating. Saving his mouth was higher on the priority list than dealing with a headache.

"Are you…" Sonic forced himself to talk, his unfocused eyes trained on Tails. "…sure that it was a tie?"

Tails opened his mouth to answer, but Eggman beat him to the punch. "Let me check the tape!" He rewound the video, humming happily to himself, before pressing the pause button. "Hm…looks like Shadow was the one who resorted to the ice cream first!"

Even though it _wasn't_ worth the win, Sonic's lips twitched anyways.

Shadow simply launched himself at the recorder, already forgetting about its potentially magical properties.

Before he could grab it, the device faded out of Eggman's hands. They looked at the empty space in confusion before an overhead voice said, _"I've give it back after we're done here. Until then, I'll hold onto it for safe keeping."_

"Damn – _hic_ – you," Shadow snarled as he reunited with his ice cream, the burn becoming too much without it. Whoever had discovered those peppers should be arrested.

"Yeah," Knuckles started after taking a sip of his milk. The heat was slowly but surely simmering down. "Glad I dropped out."

Shadow sent him a withering yet glossy glare before taking the other seat he hadn't destroyed, cold pint in hand.

Sonic shuffled over to a spot on the floor not littered with shards of plastic, but all of the broken pieces then blipped out of existence and were replaced by chairs that _hadn't_ been torn apart.

Sonic appreciated it, because he needed all the comfort he could get. He sat down with his ice cream, and Tails and Eggman followed suit.

The doctor grinned. "That was a fun little experience, wasn't it?"

Shadow's and Sonic's mouths were too full to answer, so Knuckles deadpanned. "Don't make me force-feed you that last pepper over there, Eggman."

He instantly changed the topic. He wasn't tolerant of spice himself, and he had a strange inkling that those rodents would keep that ice cream out of his reach. "Why don't we get on with the show now that the contest is out of the way?"

"We have to wait until Metal and Amy get back out here." Tails peered over his shoulder in the direction those two disappeared in. "And who knows now long that'll take…"

"Tails?" Sonic quietly called.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sweating."

"I know, Sonic."

"Make it stop."

"I can't, Sonic."

The blue speedster slumped in his chair.

Tails focused on the other hedgehog in the room. "Shadow? Is it getting better for-" He paused, seeing Shadow stick his muzzle into the pint, abandoning the spoon altogether. Those sharp scarlet eyes were glaring back at him. "-I guess not."

Eggman debated making a comment on the striped one's appearance, but again, he enjoyed not being tortured.

Fortunately, they group didn't have to wait long for Metal and Amy to make a reappearance.

Metal was a pitiful sight. He was blanched in the face, and his eyes were bloodshot. The hedgehog remained silent as he trudged over to the table, grabbing the ice cream and spoon.

Amy plopped down in the chair closest to the young fox. She casted Shadow and Sonic worried glances before telling the kit, "You don't have to worry about bleaching your bathroom, Tails. He made it."

At least _something_ good came out of this. "That's a relief."

"Got it all out of your system, Metal?" Knuckles asked the one standing up.

Metal ignored him, seemingly reading the notecard on the table. He then glanced down at the pepper it was referring to. Eventually, those tired eyes drifted to Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles.

After a moment, he leveled his gaze on the striped hedgehog. He hoarsely uttered, "Do not tell me you let my copy win."

Shadow's only response was a guttural growl.

Metal shook his head in disappointment before eating a spoonful of chocolate, his features relaxing at the relief it brought.

"What's so wrong with me winning?" Sonic croaked.

"Everything." Metal collapsed down in a chair and finally responded to Knuckles, "I am completely hollow inside, echidna."

"Physically or emotionally?"

"Both."

Now that the ones suffering all had been paired with some kind of relief, Tails jumped out of his chair and hovered over to the last pint of ice cream. He couldn't resist the mint chocolate chip. "I just gonna take this…"

"Can we share?" Amy asked when he returned, and he nodded. Two spoons appeared in their laps, and they both enjoyed the delicious dessert.

A second after, static filled the air, and their other torture decided to resume. The title for the next episode was called: _'Tails' crush'._

Tails almost choked on his ice cream. "My _what?_ "

Knuckles took another sip of his milk, chuckling. "I can't wait for this one. It's a nice distraction after what we just went through."

Amy giggled. "Yeah! And it brings up a good question…do _you_ have a crush on anyone, Tails?"

"Huh?" The kit blushed, adamantly shaking his head. "N-No! Nothing like that! Girls are icky!" Amy narrowed her eyes. "E-Except you!" She nodded at that, pleased.

"You _completely_ sure?" Sonic teased, his voice gaining the tiniest bit of strength. The heat was still unbearable, though. His mouth felt like it had been put into a microwave. "You are growin' up on us…"

"I don't!"

"Well, apparently your twin doesn't think girls are icky." Sonic stated around the mush on his recovering tongue. "Let's see who he has his eyes on."

**The scene started off in a desert area. Dry sand was scattered about with prickly cacti reaching for the sky. Behind a white starting line, Sonic was holding Knuckles in a wheelbarrow position, gripping the echidna's legs while his hands were planted on the ground.**

"There's no possible way this will end well," Amy said. It would be impossible for Mittens to keep up with whatever the other Sonic was doing. However, those thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind when another popped up. "If Mittens had still been here, how far do you think he would've gone with the hot sauces?"

Sonic, with the spoon hanging out of his mouth, held up one finger.

Knuckles scoffed at that. "He probably would've _smelt_ the first sauce and would've passed out."

"I dunno…he might have a high tolerance for it."

"Does he look like he has a high tolerance for _anything_ , Tails?"

Silence.

"Exactly."

" **World record wheelbarrow race test run." Sonic looked at Tails holding a standing off to the side before focusing on Knuckles. He grinned. "You ready, Knux?"**

" **Oh yeah!" Knuckles replied confidently. "I don't foresee any problem trying to do with my hands the world's fastest runner does with his feet."**

Amy frowned because the other Knuckles was _definitely_ going to be choking on sand soon enough. "Whose idea was this?" When everyone gave her a pointed look, she changed her question. "Okay, it was Mittens', but why did the other Sonic and Tails agree?"

Tails swallowed some ice cream, shrugging. "Maybe they were bored?"

She wasn't happy with that answer. "So, they're willing to hurt Mittens for fun?"

"He has been hit with meteors and had a refrigerator smashed on his head." Knuckles cut into the conversation, stifling a cough. "He'll be fine."

Amy's argument died then and there. "Yeah…you make a good point."

**Tails focused on his stopwatch, thumb ready to press. "Aaaannnd…go!" He started the timer.**

**Sonic shot off, pushing Knuckles. The echidna's arms immediately failed him, and he face-planted into the sand. He was mumbling unintelligibly as he gargled the dry grains.**

" **Faster?" Sonic smirked. "You got it!"**

"Wow." Sonic furrowed his brow at the screen. Sure, he'd pulled some wicked pranks on his friends before, but force-feeding someone sand hadn't made it on the list.

Knuckles was somewhat entertained. "I wonder if he did something to tick your twin off. Wouldn't be a surprise."

**He bumped up his speed, and Knuckles hissed in pain as his hands scrapped against heated ground. "Hot sand! Hot hot hot hot!"**

"He does not know the first thing about _hot,_ " Metal muttered indignantly.

**He then yelled in shock when he saw the upcoming cactus field, Sonic plowing him into it headfirst. "Ow ow ow ow!"**

**When they cleared the field – Knuckles' head was fill with thorns at this point – Sonic tried to encourage him by saying, "We're in the home stretch. Just gotta get through the valley of broken glass!"**

"First cactus, and now broken glass?!" Amy was really concerned now. Not for the echidna's health, but for the brothers' mental processes. "I know Mittens is pretty hardy, but the other Sonic is _seriously_ trying to kill him."

Tails was worried too. "And he seems so nonchalant about it! Doesn't he care at all?" He pursed his lips, thinking that Knuckles was maybe right. "What did he do to receive that kind of revenge? Sneak one of those peppers into Sonic's food?"

If he had, Sonic absolutely understood why his twin was doing it.

"Speaking of those, how were they?" Amy asked Shadow and Sonic. Considering how fast that round ended – and their conditions afterwards – she had a good idea.

Shadow was still recovering from hiccups, so Sonic answered, "You know lava, right?"

"Uh…yeah?"

"It was that."

"Oh."

" **Huh?" Knuckles was obviously caught off-guard by that. However, he didn't get a say in the matter before he indeed was led through broken glass shards. "Ow ow** _ **ow!**_ **"**

Tails winced. "With friends like those, who needs enemies…"

**Then the pair, one in better condition than the other, crossed the checkered finish line with Tails waiting for them.**

**Knuckles tore through a red ribbon before collapsing to the ground, groaning. "Ow…paper cut…"**

"See? He's fine. Apparently, it hurts no worse than a paper cut."

Amy was doubtful. "I wouldn't call that _fine_ , but if you say so, Knuckles."

" **What's our time, Tails?" Sonic asked the kit. Tails didn't answer him, distracted by something off in the distance. After a second, Sonic tried again. "Tails?"**

Sonic perked up at this. "Ooo! Are we gonna see the other Tails' crush already?"

Tails hoped that wasn't the case. Maybe the episode wasn't about a _crush_ at all. Maybe it was just about his twin being crushed by a meteorite or a fridge or something.

Please.

**Shocked out of his daze, Tails whirled around to face him. "What? Oh." He glanced down at the stopwatch and pressed the button. "I forgot to hit stop. Can you do it again?"**

**Knuckles groaned louder.**

Amy grinned. "Even if she isn't there, he's _definitely_ thinking about her." She leaned over and nudged the kit. "It's too cute! Don't you agree?"

Tails sunk lower in his seat because he _already_ felt the secondhand embarrassment and she wasn't even on the screen yet.

**When a dinging sound filled the air, Sonic help up his wrist communicator and answered it. Amy's voice filtered through.** _**"Guys, Eggman's finally lost it! You've gotta see this!"** _

Eggman knew that he shouldn't be disappointed, but after last episode, he thought maybe just _maybe_ his twin would be out of the picture for a bit. The _thing_ hadn't given him such luck.

Amy tapped her chin. "I wonder what the other Eggman's plan is this time?"

Knuckles shrugged, swirling his milk a bit. "Probably nothing too important. Hopefully he'll just introduce the plot, get destroyed, and then disappear."

"That would be the dream," Eggman murmured.

**Sonic instantly sprinted away, arriving at a shop in the village. There was a crowd standing around with Eggman at the counter. He was talking to a Leroy the turtle. "I was in my evil lair** _**all** _ **day, waiting for that package. I had to take a two minute shower.** _**Two** _ **minutes!"**

Pushing everything else that was going on aside, Eggman wasn't going to lie; he was impressed. A two minute shower was a feat. The quickest he had taken was a five-minute one, and it was because a particular blue-quilled rodent decided that he absolutely _had_ to infiltrate his secret lair that very moment.

He barely had the time to shampoo his mustache.

" **And when I get out, there's a note on my front door saying I missed the delivery and I need to pick it up here!" He steadily grew angrier. "Why couldn't you just leave the thing instead of leaving the note?!"**

"Oh no." Sonic leaned back in his chair, waving his spoon. "Is this gonna be like Mayor Knuckles? Where we kinda oddly relate to him?" He ate a spoonful of ice cream. "Cuz I really don't wanna do that."

Eggman didn't either for a whole slew of reasons.

Knuckles subtly frowned. "First his trash, and now his mail? What's next? His cable stops working?"

Sonic snickered. "You'd think by now he'd realize that living on an isolated island isn't such a good idea."

**Leroy wasn't bothered. "Because we require a signature."**

**Eggman set down a piece of paper and signed his name at the bottom. He held it in front of the worker's face, asking, "So, can I have it?"**

**The turtle hummed, nodding. "I just need the note left at your residence."**

Amy slowly blinked. "You know, if Eggman decides to attack after this, I don't blame him."

Eggman was rooting for it.

**Eggman gritted his teeth and pointed at his name. "But I** _**just** _ **signed for it!"**

" **You only have to sign for it at home. To pick it up here, you need the note that we left." Leroy rose a brow. "Why are you complicating this, sir? It's a very simple policy."**

"I would have stolen the package by now."

Sonic glanced at Metal. "Just like how you stole food from the grocery store?"

"Yes, but with less bloodshed."

" _ **I**_ **have a simple policy, too!" Eggman narrowed his eyes before yelling out, "Decimator Bot, engage!"**

"And there it is…" Tails said before pondering, "Wait, did he have that robot on stand-by just in case he faced a minor inconvenience in the village?"

Knuckles scoffed. "Or he already knew that the turtle was a hassle to deal with and was prepared."

**A large blue robot appeared out of nowhere and picked up the turtle with ease. Again, he didn't seem bothered. "Thuggery will not get you your package any sooner, sir."**

Amy had never wanted to side with Eggman, but, "It actually would! All he has to do is run in there and grab it."

Sonic snorted. "You should know that Eggy doesn't _run_ , Ames."

She smiled at that. "Oh, right! How could I forget?"

They ignored the piercing glare trying to burn them to ashes.

**Tails flew over the scene in his plane, and Sonic was quick to act. He contacted the kit on his communicator. "Tails, initiate speeding swing surprise!"**

"It's been a while since we've heard that!" Tails interest peaked once again, needing the schematics of that energy beam. "Since the first episode!"

Knuckles wished that he could go back and warn his past self of all the stress he would go through.

**Confident that Tails had agreed with the plan, Sonic jumped on top of the nearest building. Tails got into position, and Sonic jumped once more, reaching for where a hanging enerbeam was** _**supposed** _ **to be. Instead, he grabbed thin air and plummeted into a box of watermelons.**

Sonic, Tails, and Amy flinched while the rest of the room enjoyed the pain.

"What happened there?" Tails asked, totally confused.

Amy was too until a thought came to her. She grinned. "Looks like he was distracted again! I wonder by what…?"

Tails would do anything to have the fight drag on for the next ten minutes.

**Seeing the failure, Amy took the initiative to charge forward. She swung her hammer and ripped one of the robot's arms off it shoulder.**

Amy cheered, wanting to move this fight along so they could get to the good stuff.

**Leroy went flying, but Sticks caught him before he hit the ground.**

**Sonic had climbed out of the watermelon box at this point. "Knux! Time for a little teamwork!" Knuckles ran behind the robot and kneeled by its feet. Sonic spindashed Decimator bot, and it stumbled over Knuckles, landing hard on the ground.**

"Or he could've just punched the robot's head clean off its shoulders," Knuckles shrugged. "But I guess that works too."

At this point, Shadow had finished off his ice cream and his mouth was _still_ aflame. In hindsight, he should've eaten it more slowly like Sonic, but he didn't care enough to reflect on his mistake.

He glanced between the mint ice cream and the carton of milk available to him. The dessert was colder, but the milk had the lesser chance of giving him another brain freeze.

Placing his empty pint on the floor, Shadow called, "Knuckles." When the echidna looked at him, he pointed to the carton and asked, "How much is left in there?"

"Over half-"

"Give it to – _hic_ – me."

He scowled at the grin Knuckles shot him while Sonic eyed his empty ice cream container incredulously. "You're already done with yours? I just got halfway! Guess spice is one of your weaknesses-"

"Shut up." Shadow snapped before holding his hand out. "Don't make me come over there, echidna."

Knuckles thought about teasing the other some more, but he kept the taunts to himself. The burn in his mouth was nothing but a sizzle now, and honestly, he didn't want to deal with a deranged hedgehog today.

"I put my mouth on it," he said as he twisted the cap on and tossed the carton.

Shadow caught it. "My body kills – _hic_ – foreign bacteria. Don't care," he uttered before drinking.

Metal felt a pang of jealousy, hating that his body wasn't immune to sickness. His stomach _apparently_ couldn't handle a constant intake of food. It was disappointing, really.

**Sonic smirked and asked, "How about another wheelbarrow race?"**

**Knuckles barked out a laugh as he held the robot's legs, sprinting away while the bot's head dragged in the dirt.**

Amy couldn't help but to laugh. "He has to get revenge on someone, right?"

**Eggman growled, now floating in his hovercraft. "You haven't seen the last of me! I'll be back…with that note!" He then flew off without another word.**

Eggman couldn't decide whether he wanted his twin to come back to terrorize the turtle some more or to disappear off the face of the earth. That postman did have it coming…

**When he disappeared, Sonic approached Tails, who was leaning on his plane and sparing off into space. "Dude, what happened up there?" He stopped beside the kit, frowning. "You never miss a cue!"**

**Tails didn't answer, softly smiling at something off to the side. Sonic waved a hand in front of his face, but that didn't work either.**

Amy sat up in her chair, wriggling a bit, eager to see the one Tails' twin was crushing on.

Tails wanted to delay the moment, but he also was a bit curious to see who was making his double act all _weird._

**He was looking at another yellow fox putting the watermelons back into the box. She turned around and waved, smiling back. "Hey, Tails!"**

"Aw!" Amy gushed with a wide smile. "She's so _cute!_ Oh my gosh! Those two would make an adorable couple!" She faced the kit. "Wouldn't you think so, Tails?"

"Um…" He eyed the fox on screen, not really knowing how to answer that question. "She looks nice enough…?"

The pinkette giggled. "We need to find you a girlfriend! Having someone to love is the best thing ever! Don't you agree, Sonic?"

Sonic _really_ didn't want to be pulled into this conversation. "Sure! But only when he's ready, y'know?"

"Totally!" She then asked Tails, "But you're ready now, aren't you?"

Tails' eyes were wide as saucers. "I'll…be ready when Sonic's ready!"

Amy turned back to Sonic, but there was a glint in her eyes this time. "You heard that, _Sonikku?_ Time to be a good role model!"

Sonic slowly blinked. "Tails, be prepared to die old and alone."

"I'm okay with that."

Amy huffed; however, she wasn't down for long. "You'll both see in due time how beautiful love is!"

**That shook Tails out of his reverie, and he stammered, "Huh? Oh, yeah! I was gonna say hi, but then…" He trailed off when his tails began to spin on their own, lifting him off the ground. "Uh…see you later!"**

Amy softly squealed while Tails was completely baffled. She was just another person! Why couldn't he just say hi without trying to fly into the clouds?

"Oh boy," Knuckles muttered. "He's got it bad."

Metal looked at him. "Are you speaking from experience, guardian?"

"What."

"It is clear that you and that agent-"

"Say one more word, and I'm flushing that ice cream down the toilet."

Metal hugged the container close to himself.

**Sonic knowingly laughed, pulling Tails' leg to ground him again. "I see what's going on here!"**

" **Tails has been hypnotized by man-eating tomato people?" Sticks guessed by Amy.**

"Is she on any medication?" Metal questioned. "Because she is either not taking enough, or is taking too much."

Eggman rested his chin in his palm. "Knowing her, she'd somehow manage to do both."

**Sonic ran over to them, cradling his chin. "Yeah…that-" He grinned. "-or our pal Tails has a crush on that girl."**

**Tails floundered like a fish out of water. "What? Who? Zooey?" He hastily shook his hands. "No, Sticks was right! Definitely the tomato thing."**

Sonic wondered if they knew that they were kinda yelling. "Pretty sure Zooey's hearin' every single word of this."

" **Oh my gosh, Tails is in love!" Amy gasped, covering her mouth. "That is** _ **so**_ **adorable! You are** _ **so**_ **adorable!"**

Amy pointedly nodded. "It's nice to know that I'm not the _only_ one who thinks so!"

" **I am** _ **not**_ **adorable!" Tails tried to defend himself. "I-I'm serious and formidable!"**

"Not really helping your case here…" Tails murmured. "And there's nothing wrong with being both, right?"

"Right!" Amy chirped. "Everyone here in this room – except Eggman – is both!"

Both Sonic and Eggman wisely stayed out of this one.

Knuckles, Shadow, and Metal looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"What? It's true!" Amy defended herself. "Shadow and Knuckles, you two lose those sharp edges when you stop being so rough and tough all the time. And Metal…" She eyed him and grinned. "You're hugging that ice cream like a kid would hug their favorite stuffed toy, so yeah."

Shadow refused to believe that. He had a reputation to maintain. "You're – _hic_ – delusional." Her grin widened, and he cursed. _"Dammit."_

"I am the _farthest_ thing from adorable," Metal huffed. There was a small pout on his face.

Knuckles looked at them and sighed. "I'm just not going to say anything."

"Good! Because I'm sure Rouge would back me up."

Knuckles held his head in his hands.

**Sticks joined in with Amy at this point, cooing, "Awww!"**

" **I just…" Tails grew meek, scratching his head. "…don't know how to talk to her, is all." He glanced over at Zooey once more. She was filling a basket with smaller melons.**

**Sonic went over and patted Tails on the back. "Don't worry, pal. You're about to be enrolled in the Sonic school of impressin' the ladies!"**

Sonic inhaled his ice cream on accident, coughing harshly as a result. "Excuse me, what?"

"I'm actually going to throw up."

Eggman agreed with Shadow. This was one train wreck that he did _not_ want to watch.

While Amy squealed even louder, Knuckles sent the blue hero a teasing look. "You heard what he said, Sonic. Apparently, your twin knows _everything_ about impressing women. Isn't that something?"

Sonic's brain had chosen to shut down. "I don't…why… _huh?_ "

"He is a…what do you mortals call it?" Metal wracked his mind before continuing, "He is a flirt."

Tails startled a bit when Amy jumped out of her seat. "I have to meet him! Wait, no…" She faced Sonic, her expression too bright. " _You_ need to meet him, Sonic, so you can learn from him!" She began explaining. "You have plenty of charisma, but you never reciprocate when you draw people-" Amy gestured to herself. "-close to you! Of course _I_ know better, but you might be sending the wrong signals to those who might be interested!"

Knuckles smirked when Sonic gaped, completely speechless. "Shouldn't you be getting a pad and pen ready so you can take some notes?"

"This is…" Sonic's brain gradually rebooted. "…not how I thought this episode would go." He had been ready for Tails shenanigans, not _this._ Sonic glanced up at the ceiling. "Do I have to watch the next couple of minutes?"

The response was immediate. _"Yes."_

He groaned.

" **That's a good school." Knuckles vouched for him. "It's where I studied air conditioning and refrigerator repair."**

Knuckles didn't let that bother him because the show was about to get good.

**The next scene showed Sonic and Tails in the former's shack. Tails was sitting at a table with a notebook while Sonic paced in front of him.**

" **All right, first things first." Sonic began his lesson, leaning against the table. "When talking to women, you gotta play it cool. Don't let her know you're interested."**

"Really?" Knuckles faked interest, addressing Sonic, "So _that's_ what you've been doing with Amy all this time, huh?"

Sonic made a strangled noise in his throat. "Knux, you are the _worst._ "

"I try."

To Knuckles' misfortune, Amy waved them off. "I know that's not the case. Didn't you hear what I said before? Sonic's basically an infant when it comes to romance." Sonic didn't know whether to take offense to that or not. "And plus, that's _horrible_ advice. Don't listen to it," she said to Sonic and Tails.

"G-Got it!" the kit replied, hoping that she would stop being so intense. Amy was almost scary when she was passionate about something.

**Tails nodded, scribbling down notes. "Play it cool…got it!"**

**Sonic continued, "Now, if you do strike up a conversation, be sarcastic and always have a one-liner ready."**

Knuckles was no expert in this field, but even he knew that this advice was awful. "This explains why there've been _so_ many girls throwing themselves at him," he uttered sarcastically.

Amy tisked. "This is a list of what _not_ to do!"

**Allow me to demonstrate." He gestured to the entrance. "I've hired a local actor to play the part of 'girl'."**

**Comedy Chimp walked in wearing a black dress and lipstick.**

Amy actually screamed.

Sonic was frozen. "Guys…I think we've found something worse than Eggman in a onesie."

Everybody wholeheartedly agreed.

" **I gotta fire my agent."**

"Fire them and everyone associated," Metal ordered.

**He approached Sonic, who was leaning against the beam of his house. "Hi, Sonic!"**

**Sonic bobbed his head, remaining aloof. "Sup?"**

Amy felt conflicted. Two-thirds of her was disgusted of _everything_ that was Comedy Chimp and of Sonic's twin's horrid advice, but the other third, well…the complete one-eighty in personality was _really_ interesting to her. For some reason.

"Sonic-"

"Amy, _no."_

She should've seen that coming.

**Comedy Chimp didn't break character. "Would you like to accompany me to a movie and/or show?"**

**Crossing his arms, Sonic curtly responded, "Not sure I have the time."**

Sonic groaned again. Hearing his voice say these things was plain _wrong._

**The chimp put a hand on the speedster's arm. "Is it something I said…or did? Because I can change!"**

"If nothing else, he's a hell of a good actor," Knuckles pointed out. "I would've bailed out a long time ago."

" **Nah, it's cool." Sonic side-eyed him. "I'm just…super swamped. Can't be tamed, born to run, you know how it is."**

Sonic resisted the _extremely_ strong urge to curl into himself.

**Comedy Chimp was persistent. "Well, maybe we can get a lime ricky at the local malt shop sometime?"**

**Sonic sighed, clearly disinterested. "Yeah…maybe." He took a step away. "Look, I gotta bounce. Catch you on the flipside, babe."**

Even though all of this was cringe-worthy, Amy couldn't help but to gasp at the pet name. She imagined Sonic saying that to her, and she could hardly contain her glee.

The rest of the room was in pain.

**The chimp smiled and waved. "Call me! We could be happy together!" He then turned to leave, frowning. "Oh, I have no dignity…"**

"Less than the doctor, and that is saying a lot."

"Metal, you are dead to me."

"I will take that as a compliment."

**Tails was writing away in his journal while Sonic smirked. "Works every time!"**

Tails felt bad for his double.

**The scene changed to that same store in the village again. Eggman slapped the note down on the counter. "I found the note." His clothes were covered with dirt. "It was in the dumpster behind my lair. I hope you're happy!" He held out an expectant hand. "Now, give me my package!"**

"I wonder what it is?" Sonic mused. "I mean, he really wants it."

"Hopefully a device that would allow him to _win_ for once."

"Do you actually thing that they would allow something like that to be delivered to you by _mail,_ Eggy? There's gotta be some kind of regulation there."

Eggman deadpanned. "They let that red imbecile become mayor."

"Right…they did do that."

**Leroy took the note and disappeared into the back of the store. Tails then attracted the doctor's attention when he ran by, looking around. When he spotted Zooey, Tails ran over and leaned against a pole.**

Amy shook her head in disappointment. "Sonic set him up for failure! The poor thing."

**She walked by him without noticing.**

Tails felt the embarrassment creeping up. He fumbled with his namesakes, biting his lip. "He should just forget everything that Sonic told him! It's already going bad!"

"He's highly impressionable," Knuckles commented. "If he would've gone to someone with genuine _experience_ , he might've had a chance."

Tails filtered through his twin's friends and had to ask, "Like who?"

Knuckles thought for a moment before uttering, "Yeah, he's better off just winging it."

**Tails was surprised for a second before he decided to run to the nearest tree, leaning against it again. Zooey still didn't notice him.**

"Not to defend what he is doing or anything, but shouldn't she hear him?" Sonic hoped for the sake of the other Tails' feelings that she wasn't ignoring him on purpose. "He's running right by her!"

Knuckles had been thinking the same thing. "There must be something _incredibly_ interesting in the other direction."

**The kit jogged over to lean against a building, but he missed the wall and fell to the ground.**

Tails groaned from the second-hand embarrassment, covering his face with his hands and peering through his fingers. This hurt to watch.

**Tails quickly sprung back up when Zooey approached, acting like nothing happened.**

**She waved. "Oh, hi, Tails! Didn't see you."**

Metal licked his spoon. "Somehow."

**Tails attempted to be uninterested, but it wasn't working out. "Yeah, I'm all like…whatever. I don't care. I'm busy anyway." He turned away from her, crossing his arms. "Catch you on the flip-flop."**

"Make it _stop,_ " Tails borderline whined.

Amy reached over and patted him on the back. "Just remember to never do this, okay? Sounding like a blubbering jerk is the last thing you want to do when talking to someone."

**Zooey took it all in stride. "Okay." She walked away with another wave.**

Amy smiled. "At least she's not too put-off by it!"

**Seeing this, Tails sighed and slumped.**

**Unknown to Tails, Eggman had seen the whole thing. The doctor shook his head, unimpressed.**

Sonic barked out a laugh. "Who is _he_ to be unimpressed? The closest friends he has are robots! He wouldn't know what romance was if it slapped him in the face!"

Amy was tempted to point out the hypocrisy of that statement.

Eggman spoke up before the conversation _somehow_ spun around to poke at his own pride. " _Anyone_ could tell that he has no idea what he's doing, rodent. Experience or no experience. _I_ would rather watch one of my bases blow up than watch this disaster!"

Feeling Metal's jeering stare on him, Eggman turned and narrowed his eyes. "Not a _word._ "

The former bot smirked.

" **It appears that package is back out for delivery," Leroy said when he reappeared.**

**Eggman faced him, perplexed. "Out for delivery? What?** _**Why?** _ **"**

**The turtle shrugged. "Nobody came to pick it up."**

**Eggman was outraged, slamming his hands on the counter. "** _**I** _ **came to pick it up!"**

**Leroy didn't flinch. He picked up the note. "That's not what it says here."**

**He growled.**

Eggman inwardly sighed. This was almost as bad as watching the kid.

Knuckles felt the need to punch something. "If this episode ends with the turtle being decked in the face, it'll make this all worth it."

**Outside of Sonic's shack, Tails was standing beside Knuckles who was lifting weights laying on a bench.**

Knuckles' gut sunk. "Oh no."

Sonic would normally tease him about this, but after what _he_ just went through… "It can't be possibly worse than my twin's advice, right?"

"That's the worst lie I've heard in years," Shadow grunted, thankful that his hiccups were finally fading away. "What did I tell you about being optimistic?"

Sonic huffed, and Knuckles mentally braced himself.

**The echidna grunted as his pumped. "See, your first mistake was going to Sonic for advice on women." He smirked. "Or as I call them, the 'lay-dayssss'."**

Knuckles' ears were bleeding. "Who _calls_ them that?!"

"Is this why we do not see any of the team with significant others?" Metal asked. "Because they are all inept?"

"My twin and the other Sonic are dating!"

He glanced at Amy. "That is an assumption."

"A pretty good one!"

**He set the weights down as Tails copied him. "The 'lay-dayssss'!"**

"Nooooo…" Tails whimpered.

" **Now you're gettin' it!" Knuckles encouraged as he stood. He picked up a couple barbells and flexed. "What women want is someone who's** _ **manly.**_ **"**

"As in someone who looks like they've eaten nothing but protein their whole life?" Knuckles muttered to himself.

**Tails whipped out his notebook. "Let me write that in my** _**Hello Doggie** _ **journal." He didn't get to, for Knuckles slapped it out of his hands.**

"Rude!" Tails and Amy shouted at the same time.

" **No, dude!" Knuckles chastised. "Manly! You gotta lift weights!" He grabbed the barbells again, pumping them. "Eat red meat! Take up woodworking! Ha, that's what they want!"**

Everyone looked at Amy, and she shook her head. "No, that's not what we want."

**Tails scratched his head, doubtful. "Uh, I don't know… It seems a little archaic. Do women really respond to that?"**

Tails perked up. "Yes! Keep questioning it! Mittens is a good friend at all, but why go to him for advice _ever?_ "

"And didn't he say that he learned what he knows from the other Sonic?" Amy asked. "That's a lot of red flags right there!"

"He went there for refrigerator repair," Metal reminded her.

"Still!"

**As Knuckles worked out, he noticed Lady Walrus and a lady goat watching him from afar. Knux smirked at them, and they giggled to themselves.**

**The echidna winked. "Oh, yeah."**

Knuckles put a hand on his forehead, slowly blinking. "Am I having a stroke? Or did that actually happen?"

"That entire dimension needs to be purged," Shadow muttered. "There are no benefits of having it around."

**The attention was back on Eggman, who was sitting at a table in Meh Burger. He was talking on a phone, chewing his burger. "Rerouted? My package has been rerouted? To where?" He tensed. "Guatamanana?"**

"Just rob the shop already! Those rodents are too busy with the fox's love life to care!"

"I hate to say this, but Egghead's right," Sonic admitted. "And I'm pretty sure they'd understand if he explained the situation to them."

**Behind him, Zooey sat at a table by herself, sipping a drink. Tails then walked up to her, forcing his voice to be deep. "Hey, Zooey. I was at the gym, throwing some weights." He flexed, and she simply sipped from her straw some more.**

Tails wanted to jump through the screen and drag his twin away from Zooey. He needed to save her from this.

"She does not look impressed."

"Who would be?" Amy responded to Metal. "Everyone and their mother can tell that he's trying way too hard! Just be yourself!"

**Switching tactics, Tails placed a hand on the table and inspected it. "This table's got some excellent craftsmanship. What's that, birch? Cedar?"**

**Zooey tapped a finger on the wood. "I think it's particle board."**

Knuckles rolled his eyes at how _bad_ this was. "At least she's not running away." Yet.

**Tails nodded. "Oh, yeah. I had a particle board tree once. Chopped it down, built me a cabin out of it."**

Metal frowned. "Now, she is going to think he is idiotic."

"I would too!" Tails sighed, shaking his head and muttering, "A particle board tree? Really?"

**Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by Dave, who set a meal on the table. "One Meh steak, extra rare." Tails smiled at the redness of it while Zooey looked marginally disgusted.**

"I don't blame her!" Amy's nose scrunched up. "The thing's practically still mooing!"

Tails pulled at his ears. "Does he not see her face?! You need to bail out of there!"

Sonic sent the kit a placating smile. "It's okay, Tails! It'll all work out in the end like it always does!"

He figured that Sonic did have a point, but the journey to the end was so _agonizing._ He'd never felt so embarrassed about something he didn't even _do._

**Tails pulled out a fork and a knife. "The redder, the better!" He winked at her, and she returned nothing but a look of confusion.**

"I feel you, girl," Amy said, empathizing with her.

**Dave wasn't done, for he revealed a** _**Hello Doggie** _ **pencil. "And your Meh meal toy."**

**Tails perked up in excitement, grabbing the gift. "Oh! A** _**Hello Doggie** _ **pencil to go with my notebook!" Then, he realized what he was doing, grinning nervously at Zooey. He deepened his voice again. "Uh, I think I left my bandsaw running!"**

Knuckles snorted. "I'm sure _that_ left a great impression. He went from being clumsily aloof to being a carnivorous jock. What's next?"

Sonic hoped that the other Tails would go back to being himself after this, but there was a pattern here. "Well, the other Ames and Sticks are left, so…"

"I want him to go to my twin first so he can stop making a fool of himself!" Amy exclaimed. "He should've went to her in the first place!"

Knuckles was doubtful. "You seriously think that your double's advice will be the best?"

"Definitely!" She eyed him. "Why don't you sound sure, Knuckles?"

"Have you not seen her? She's overdramatic." Knuckles shuddered at the screeching that went on last episode. "Yeah, hers might be better than Sonic's and Mittens', but that wouldn't be saying much."

Amy crossed her arms. "Well, I have faith!"

**He sprinted away, and Eggman – who had been listening one more – shook his head in disdain.**

Why did Eggman get the feeling that his twin was going to stick his nose where it didn't belong?

**The next scene showed Amy and Tails in the hedgehog's shack, sitting on the sofa. The pinkette poured him some tea. "You're doing this all wrong." She set the tea pot down, going into teacher mode. "If you want to know what women want, talk to a woman!"**

Amy completely agreed.

**Tails gasped. "That's brilliant! Where can I find one?"**

Sonic, Knuckles, and Metal erupted with laughter.

Amy felt a little bad as she stifled her chuckles.

Tails wanted to join in, but he believed that his other self was in a danger zone. Metal had questioned Amy's femininity before, and that hadn't gone well. "He needs to start running now…"

**Amy glared hard at him, hissing, "** _**I'm** _ **a woman! I'm refined and elegant like a delicate flower, you jerk!"**

Metal eventually calmed down, enjoying that very much. "She is doing nothing but proving his point."

Knuckles wiped away a tear. "I _knew_ there was a reason Tails is my favorite."

**She regathered herself, calming back down with a smile. "As I was saying, girls like romance and chivalry. You know, like the movies." Amy turned on the TV in front of them. "Watch and learn."**

Amy's confidence began to wane at that, and Knuckles threw her an _'I told you so'_ look.

**A masculine voice began to play.** _**"How thy voice is like a songbird, let my eyes feast upon your beauty and my soul be nourished by your love!"** _ **Tears of joy filled Amy's eyes while Tails glanced between her and the TV, extremely confused.** _**"A thousand roses would dare not smell as sweet as you!"** _

**Amy released a heavy sigh as the woman on screen responded,** _**"Oh, even if thy face is hidden beneath the mask, your heart is visible to me now and forever!"** _

**More tears stained Amy's cheeks as she gestured to the movie. "See?"**

Knuckles grinned at the pinkette, who was visibly irked. "The best advice, huh?"

"Shut it, mister."

**Tails stood up confidently. "I'll do it!"**

Tails heavily exhaled. "He really _really_ shouldn't."

**Next was Tails walking up to a house in the village. He was wearing a tuxedo, and a white mask covered half of his face.**

_Someone please help this child,_ Amy thought before saying, "He'd look kinda adorable if he lost that ugly mask."

**He projected his voice. "Zooey! Come forth from your chamber window!"**

Tails honestly didn't think that it could have gotten any worse. It did.

"Okay, forgetting about everything else, I appreciate how persistent he is!" Sonic chuckled. "He's got a lotta drive!"

Tails saw where he was coming from, but, "He needs to drive home."

**Zooey appeared in a second-floor window, gazing down at him. Not knowing what was going on, she gently greeted, "Uh, hello?"**

**Tails kept going. "How now, brown cow! Your voice is like a songbird, singing uh…songs! And you smell!"**

**She was taken aback by that. "What?!"**

Amy and Tails winced at the reaction.

"He's digging his own grave," Knuckles uttered, needing some kind of reprieve from this.

**He tried to mend his words. "Um…like a flower of some kind! Not a stinkweed, uh, something better!"**

"Nice save?" Sonic wasn't sure if he believed his own words or not.

**Unbeknownst to them, Leroy the turtle was riding by on his mail wagon, and Eggman was angrily following him slightly out of breath. "I** _**know** _ **you have my package in your wagon! Just give it to me!"**

"So this is the _one_ time you don't have your hovercraft mysteriously near you?" Eggman ran his hand down his face. "Convenient."

**Leroy glanced back. "Once it's on the wagon, I have to deliver it to your residence."**

Amy pursed her lips. "We seriously need answers to how Eggman has any of his stuff taken care of. Because _that_ wagon isn't making it across an ocean."

" **Oh,** _ **for the love of-"**_ **Eggman's incoming tirade was cut short when he noticed Tails all dressed up. He frowned. "Not this train wreck again."**

Eggman rubbed his temples because it seemed like his fears were coming true. While he wouldn't touch his enemies' personal problems with a ten-foot pole, his twin apparently couldn't _help_ but to meddle.

Metal was catching onto this as well. "Do not tell me he is going to offer his own advice."

Sonic snickered, placing his empty container on the floor. "He's probably going to say to give up and eat your feelings away. Do you think so, Eggy?"

"I wouldn't know," he answered through gritted teeth.

"He does," Metal immediately opposed.

Sonic nodded. "Oh yeah, definitely."

Eggman thought about taking a vacation after they were released form here so he wouldn't see _any_ of these annoyances for as long as he desired.

**Tails** _**still** _ **wasn't done trying to woo Zooey. "Looking into your eyes is like looking into a pair of…" He paused in thought. "...eyes! Nice ones, even!"**

Tails was starting to feel numb. "Doesn't he hear the words coming out of his own mouth? I would never say that!"

"Because you're not as desperate as he is," Knuckles supplied. "This is the definition of desperation."

"I don't think he's desperate!" Amy argued. "He has his heart set on wooing her, but he doesn't know what to do. I blame the terrible advice, not Tails."

"Oh, I do too, don't get me wrong. But only a desperate person would compare eyes to eyes and keep going like nothing was wrong."

"…He's trying his best, okay?"

**Zooey blinked at him before closing her window.**

**Tails slumped with a depressed sigh.**

**And yet again, Eggman was unimpressed.**

**Sticks' burrow was next.**

Knuckles leaned back in his seat. "Here we go."

"She's going to tell him to mark his territory or something."

Several disgusted gazes landed on Shadow.

He shrugged. "You can't tell me that she wouldn't resort to that."

He was right; they couldn't.

**The badger was inside her burrow, explaining her opinion on the matter to Tails.**

" **When a male wishes to woo a female, he must perform a traditional dating dance." She hopped on a wooden table, flapping her arms. "Where he displays his radiant, colorful plumage. This must be done in a public form to assert his dominance over the other males."**

"Yeah. Great. Let Tails do that with the _many_ feathers he has all over him." Knuckles deadpanned. "At this point, I almost want to believe that she's pulling his leg just to see if he would do it."

"You heard her people-eating tomato comment from earlier." Metal reminded him. "She is a hundred percent serious."

**Tails shrugged, unperturbed. "Well, it's worth a shot!"**

Amy tried to see the bright side in all this. "When this is over with, at least he'll learn to never go to his friends for relationship advice again."

**Back in the village, Tails was showing off the peacock feathers in his hands to Zooey and the group of people who had gathered around.**

" **Caw-caw!" he crowed, spinning around and posing. "Caw-caw! Caw-caw!"**

"Where did he even get those from?" Tails asked, confused. He was beginning to get used to the embarrassment at this point.

Knuckles scoffed. "Pretty sure Sticks had something to do with it."

**Zooey, understandably concerned, took a step forward. "Tails, are you feeling okay?"**

**He widely smiled. "Wha? I'm feeling great! Check out my majestic plumage!"**

**Tails waved the feathers around in Zooey's face, causing her to sneeze. "Well…as long as you're all right!" She ran off after waving goodbye.**

"I applaud her for still being so nice, y'know?" Sonic scratched his nose as if he had been the one to get a face-full of feathers. "If someone did all of that stuff to me, I seriously don't know how I'd feel afterwards."

"Flabbergasted?" Tails provided.

"Yeah, mostly that with a little bit of concerned mixed in."

**Tails walked off, dejected, and Eggman – standing off to the side at the store – grumbled to himself. "I can't watch this anymore." He rose his voice when Tails trudged by him. "You've got** _**no** _ **game, kid! Let me help you."**

It was a shame that Metal hadn't retained his internal timer, because Knuckles was itching to know if the train wreck was almost over. It had been going on long enough. "Honestly? Whatever he has to say literally _can't_ be any worse than what's already happened."

**The kit looked up with a furrowed brow. "You? But you're out sworn enemy!"**

"Finally, some common sense," Metal drawled. "I had been wondering if he had forgotten it."

"He hadn't forgotten it!" Tails came to his twin's defense. "It just…had been overshadowed by the more impulsive side of him."

Metal gave him a look.

Tails relented, "Okay, maybe he didn't think things all the way through, but-"

"Peacock feathers, a butchered theatrical act, blatantly false masculinity, and _'catch you on the flip-flop'."_

Tails couldn't deny that evidence.

**Eggman crossed his arms. "Nonetheless, in situations this dire, the bro code trumps the enemy thing."**

"The _bro code!?"_ Sonic repeated, thrown for a loop. Since _when?_ "Sworn enemies don't have a bro code!"

Simply accepting it at this point, Eggman grumbled, "I guess he didn't get the memo."

" **Take my advice, you'll never land a girl by acting like someone else. Just be confident in your own pelt." His tone grew more commanding. "And for pete's sake,** _ **ditch**_ **the feathers!"**

"Well." Amy was pleasantly surprised. "It came from an odd source, but that's perfect advice! Especially the feather part." She hummed in thought. "I wonder how he knows that despite having minimal social interactions?"

"The better question is why _he_ is the only one who has accurate advice. _Romantic_ advice at that." Eggman corrected. Something was very wrong if his double was the only one in the right.

"A broken clock is right two times a day," Tails chimed in, slightly frowning. "At the most _random_ times…"

**Tails lowered his gaze to the feathers, dropping them after a moment's hesitation. He then put his hands on his hips, questioning Eggman. "How do I know I can trust you?"**

" **Believe me or don't, it's not hair off my mustache." He stroked his hairy upper lip. "** _ **You're**_ **the one doing the funky chicken in the middle of town square."**

Tails nodded after a moment. "That's fair."

**It was then that Leroy walked out from the back with a box in his hands. He placed it on the counter. "Your package."**

Knuckles was slightly let down that there had been no punching involved.

" **Finally!" Eggman cried out in exasperation before opening it, his anger dissipating as dark chuckles escaped him. He held up a grey device. "My background music generator! This'll really make my attacks more exciting!"**

Eggman slowly breathed in and out to control his anger.

"So…it's basically a small stereo." Sonic leisurely clapped. "Glad to know that he has his priorities in order!"

**He pressed a button on the remote, grinning as energetic music played.**

Tails subtly tapped his foot to the beat. "He wasn't wrong about it being exciting!"

**Tails had no time to focus on that, for a giant robot with a single eye and tank treads rolled into the village. The villagers screamed in fright, running away from the approaching bot.**

**Motobugs joined the invasion as well. They shot lasers at those fleeing as Eggman evilly laughed. "Sweet! Listen to those drums!"**

Sonic grinned. "I don't blame him for bein' so into it! It's pretty catchy!"

"But is it _necessary?"_

"Catchy-ness is _always_ necessary, Knux."

"That's not what I – nevermind."

**Not one to stand on the sidelines, Tails palmed a hefty wrench and took down the motobugs one-by-one. Their parts began to litter the ground.**

"Yeah!" Tails pumped his fist. "Do what you do best, other me!"

**Eggman jammed to the music until scrap metal fell down beside him. "Huh?"**

**The hulking mech had zeroed in on Zooey, and she was running for her life. She screamed with it picked her off the ground. Tails whipped his head around at the sound, narrowing his eyes at the attacker.**

Amy giggled. "You get your girl, Tails! You got this!"

Knuckles allowed himself to relax. "These next scenes are about to be better than the whole episode." All action and no awkward situations.

**At this point, the rest of Team Sonic had run onto the scene. Sonic quickly assessed the situation before starting, "Amy, you and Knuckles head-"**

**Tails, in his plane now, held up a hand. "No need, Sonic!" Confidence flooded his features. "I got this!"**

Metal narrowed his eyes. "How did he get in the plane so quickly? He had just been on the ground."

Sonic waved him off. "Let's just say the it was hidden behind and building close-by and move on."

**He swooped down and flew circles around the bot, it spinning to keep up with him. Zooey was still freaking out in the mech's hold, yelling, "Help! Help!"**

" **Hang on, Zooey!" Tails reassured before aiming at the arm that held her hostage. He fired a laser, and the limb exploded, breaking from the body.**

**Zooey flutily reached for the sky as she fell. But she never touched the ground; Tails activated his speeding swing surprise, dangling an enerbeam for Zooey to grab. Once she did, Tails swung her safely into the seat behind him. They smiled at each other.**

" _There's_ the Tails we know! Well, kinda know!" Sonic cheered. "Nothing like a good old Eggman battle to brighten your day!"

_Or make it worse,_ Eggman inwardly groused.

**On the ground, Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy all smugly said, "I taught him everything he knows."**

Amy rolled her eyes. "Oh _please._ They didn't do anything!"

**Tails looped around in the air and fired another laser right at the robot's midsection. The whole thing blew up, its parts raining down all around.**

**Team Sonic cheered at his success while Eggman huffed, walking up to his destroyed weapon. "Well, that wasn't as exciting as I hoped." He held up the device, pressing the same button as before. The background music was cut off.**

"Did he think that the music would somehow power up his inadequate machine?"

"He probably wasn't thinking at all," Shadow answered Metal.

**When Tails landed his plane, Zooey leaned forward in her seat, beaming. "Tails, you were** _**amazing!** _ **" She hugged him from the back and kissed the side of his head.**

Tails cheeks were on _fire_ as he incomprehensibly sputtered.

Amy released something akin to an animalistic screech, jumping to her feet. "Oh. My. _Gosh!_ She kissed him! She _kissed him!_ "

"Yes." Metal rubbed his ears. "We all saw."

Knuckles couldn't believe it, really. "Funny how Tails is the first we've seen find a partner in the group." The other Sonic and Amy might be a thing, but they technically hadn't _seen_ anything concrete yet despite Knuckles' teasing.

Shadow cut his eyes over at him. "And hopefully he's the last." He wouldn't make it if they had to watch the rest of the team go through this.

Sonic unknowingly shared Shadow's thoughts. "I'm proud of the little guy! All he had to do was be himself!" He then glanced over at Tails, who was still in shock. "You okay, bud?"

He eventually recovered. "Y-Yeah! It was just really unexpected, is all. I'm glad everything worked out for him too!"

Amy beamed at him. "So, have you changed your mind about getting a girlfriend, Tails?"

"Still on the old and alone route, Amy."

"You'll break eventually."

That sounded too much like a threat for Tails' to feel safe.

**Eggman laughed, his sarcasm nearly palpable. "Look who got the girl by being himself! I didn't see that coming!"**

Eggman pinched the bridge of his nose. Did his twin _always_ need to get the last word in? Eggman was guilty of it too, but at least he knew when it was out of place and unnecessary.

**Tails gave him a level stare. "Do you mind?'**

" **You're** _ **welcome,**_ **" the doctor bit before providing more music. It was more romantic this time.**

"And it's getting weird again…" Tails muttered.

**After a moment, Tails and Zooey locked gazes, expressions soft. They then held hands, and a heart shaped iris-out appeared over them, growing smaller and smaller.**

**Out of frame, Eggman exclaimed, "I'm glad I sprang for the heart iris upgrade!"**

Disregarding the other Eggman, Amy _loved_ the ending of that. "Those two are so precious!" she loudly cooed, and Tails subtly lowered his ears to protect them. "If only the other Sonic and my double showed that kind of affection!"

Sonic dodged that subject altogether. "That episode was interesting, to say the least! I learned that my twin is basically hopeless, and that those peppers linger for _way_ too long." He didn't start to cool down until they got halfway through the show.

Knuckles snorted. "No one told you to eat it. You knew what you were getting into."

"No, not really." Sonic would _never_ do that again. Probably. "But at least I won!" He smirked over at Shadow. "You put up a pretty good fight though, Shads!"

"If you mention it again, Faker, I will end you."

He most likely wasn't bluffing. Due to the limited space in here – and the probability of collateral damage to others – Sonic addressed Metal, "And you did good for someone who hadn't tried spice before, Mets!"

"I came in last place, copy. Do not patronize me."

"But you were the first to enjoy the ice cream, and that's a win in itself!"

"That does not count."

"Of course it does! It's ice cream!"

Metal wanted to argue back some more, but Eggman didn't let him. "I'm _ending_ this needless conversation, for you're only prolonging our escape." And his vacation plans. "The only winner is _me_ because of that video I will be playing on repeat in my lab."

"I'm going to need a copy of that," Knuckles said, and Sonic gawked at him. The echidna shrugged with a grin. "What? You two should've seen your faces when you ate that pepper. It was priceless."

No matter how long it took, Shadow was going to hunt down and erase every evidence of his degrading loss. "You take one, and I'll make sure you'd regret doing so."

Knuckles wasn't deterred. "Nah, I don't think anything would make me regret it. You had _hiccups_. Nothing gets better than that."

Shadow glared.

"You're tying to be intimidating, but it doesn't really work when I've seen you stuff your face with ice cream."

Shadow despised his own pride sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bro-down showdown is next, so get ready for that!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome back! Are all of you ready for a good Bro-Down Showdown?

Tails had a bad feeling when the sauces and lone pepper remained on the table, not disappearing like he thought they would. "Uh…is anyone else a little worried that they haven't gone away yet?"

More than a little, but Sonic didn't let that show. "I'm pretty sure that they'll go in a bit! If not-" He casted Shadow a teasing look. "-then I think they're here as incentives to not accidentally doze off."

Luckily for Shadow, his body's adventures with edible lava, hiccups, and brain freezes had jolted it awake. At least temporarily. But even so, "Faker, if you come _near_ me with any of those, I will make sure you never run again."

Sonic waved him off. "Pfft! As if you'll catch me!"

"You'll have to sleep eventually."

Those words rung true, and Sonic thought _maybe_ that he should skip out on that prank for now.

Knuckles saw the subtle dread on his face. "Good choice." He eyed the spicy condiments as well. "As long as _no_ one messes with them, I'm sure the _thing_ will take them away."

Tails bit his lip. "Or it could use its powers to attack us with them…"

Everyone stiffened. Amy gave him a wild look. "Why would you even _give_ it that idea! I will literally _die,_ Tails, if I eat any of that!"

Tails felt nauseous at the _thought_ of it. "I was just saying-"

" _Refrain_ from doing so next time," Metal nearly hissed. He refused to go through that again, and they were all out of dairy products. He doubted the being would be kind enough to hand them more.

Eggman would rather lose another battle than be brutally tortured with the heat of that pepper. "How about we _stop_ talking about it and get to the next-" The words died in his throat when one of the bottles rattled on the table. "I call the bathroom." Hopefully locks worked against the _thing._

Sonic watched wide-eyed as the bottle settled back down. Nothing happened afterwards. His voice was an octave higher than usual. "How about we just start the show? Speed this along, you know?"

Amy agreed with him wholeheartedly. Keeping her imminent death in her periphery, she read the title of the next episode. "'Bro-Down Showdown'? What does that even mean?"

"Sounds like a competition between bros!" Sonic sat forward in interest, ready to dodge if one of those condiments suddenly was hurled toward him. "It's gotta be a Sonic and Tails episode!"

Normally, Knuckles would be all for that, but considering what happened _last_ episode… "As long as the topic of romance is avoided at _all_ costs, then this shouldn't be too bad."

Amy agreed, sorta. "I want to see Tails with Zooey, though! They're so cute together!"

"I'd rather they keep that off-screen…" Tails muttered. He didn't have anything against seeing them together – his twin deserved it after what he and Zooey was put through – but he _really_ wanted the second-hand embarrassment to be minimal here.

Amy tisked at him. Sonic was a terrible influence, and she hoped that the kit would embrace love soon enough. Or at least crush on someone so hard that he would become friends with them, tearing down their walls one _miniscule_ brick at a time.

She would get Sonic eventually.

**The scene started off at Amy's house. The hedgehog was inside sitting on her couch, cleaning her hammer. When there was a knock on her door, she placed down her weapon to open it, only to reveal Leroy the turtle.**

Eggman already hated this episode. "Can someone get rid of that nuisance?" That turtle made him sympathize with his twin last episode; he would rather not ever do it again.

"Amy should slam the door in his face," Knuckles grumbled. He knew that there was a slim chance of that happening, but still.

" **Telegram for Amy Rose," he said, glancing down at the paper in his hands. "You've won the 'Most Selfless' award."**

Nevermind how the turtle had miraculously delivered mail, Knuckles rose a curious brow. "The 'Most Selfless' award? I feel like that shouldn't go to her."

Amy had to agree. "Yeah, my twin has had some…hiccups in the past. It should go to someone like Zooey! She gave the other Tails a chance even after all of those _questionable_ things he did. I know that I would have to at least think about it first."

Knuckles scoffed. "So if Sonic asked you out poorly reciting an opera with peacock feathers in his flailing hands, you wouldn't say yes on the spot?"

"Sonic's different, and you know it."

" **Mine!" Amy snatched the certificate away with enough force to send Leroy to the ground on his back.**

Metal didn't mind her blatant selfish behavior. "That is what the doctor should've done in the first place last episode."

" **Amy?" Sonic and Knuckles then walked up, ignoring Leroy completely. The speedster went on to ask, "What is it?"**

Normally, Eggman wouldn't agree with the actions of the heroes – especially not the ones on-screen – but this resonated within him deeply. "Hopefully they don't ever acknowledge his existence."

Tails understood that Leroy hadn't been the most… _cooperative_ character, but he personally wouldn't leave him there. "I wonder why they're ignoring him, though? Did they have bad experiences with him too?"

"Probably!" Amy has had few issues with her mail in the past, and a simple delay would ruin her whole day. She couldn't imagine going through what the other Eggman had on a _constant_ basis. She would've ensured a change in staff one way or another. "But I would help him up anyway just so the next people wouldn't have to deal with late deliveries."

**She smiled at them. "A few weeks ago, I submitted myself for this year's most selfless award." Amy waved the paper. "And I just found out that I won!"**

**Knuckles furrowed his brow. "Uh, you submitted yourself? Can you do that?"**

"Now, when _my_ twin is questioning what you did, you know you messed up."

Sonic agreed with Knuckles. "Yeah! Submitting yourself is kinda cheating, isn't it? And wouldn't that make you selfish in the first place by not submitting someone else?"

The echidna thought of something, and he grinned. "I guess she had to considering none of her friends probably did it."

Sonic snickered. "Makes me wonder how in the world she won it, then?"

"She specializes in physical persuasion."

"Yeah, that's definitely how she did it."

**Amy's smile faded, voice growing harsh. "In this life, you gotta look out for number one!" She turned around and walked deeper into her home.**

Silence, then-

"I'm having trouble categorizing her as crazy or not."

"She's not crazy!" Amy glared at Shadow, and he wasn't affected whatsoever. "She's just…really passionate sometimes!" Amy knew that she was sugar-coating it, but she had to protect her twin somehow, right?

"There is a thin line between passionate and insane," Metal defended him. "And she is suspiciously very acquainted with it."

**Leroy accepted his fate. "I deserve this."**

"I'm glad that he realized," Eggman said, Metal and Knuckles sharing the same thought.

**Amy started to pack when Sonic and Knuckles stepped inside. "So, um, while you're gone, you're gonna need a house-sitter, huh?" Sonic suggested.**

Tails frowned in confusion. "They want to house-sit? How long is she going to be gone?"

"Better question is _where_ is she going," Knuckles uttered. "She already got the award."

**The pinkette deadpanned at him. "The last time I left you two here, I came back to find a family of skunks living in the crawlspace."**

Amy cringed at that. She could just _imagine_ the stench if one of them had sprayed. She'd be hesitant to let them back in too.

" **You should be flattered!" Knuckles retorted. "Skunks are** _ **very**_ **picky."**

**Amy gave an unimpressed hum.**

**Sonic took a shot next. "Come on, Amy. Let us stay here! I need a change in scenery-" He slouched. "-and it gets boring watching a majestic sunset of an endless tranquil sea of blue outside my beachfront paradise every day."**

Sonic chuckled even though he could kinda understand where his twin was coming from. The same setting could get boring after a while, but when Sonic got away, he got _away._ Moving from a beachfront shack to another one a _little_ bit more inland wasn't going to cut it. "Picky, isn't he?"

"I know!" Amy couldn't fathom why he would complain. "Anyone would love to have that beautiful view every time they woke up!" She pursed her lips in thought. "And he's acting like he can't take a mini vacation somewhere."

Shadow crossed his arms, grunting. "He can't because _apparently_ without him, the doctor would take over despite having three other questionably capable friends to rely on."

Amy listed the friends on her fingers, noticing one missing. She had a good feeling about who it was. "You're forgetting St-"

"I didn't miscount."

Knuckles shrugged. "At least he called Mittens questionably capable. More than what I would say."

" **And I want to watch cable!" Knuckles desperately added.**

Sonic smirked. "He's got his priorities straight." He sent Knuckles a taunting look. "Do you miss cable on that isolated island of yours, Knux?"

"Nope," Knuckles easily replied. "No one gets as bored as quickly as you do, Sonic."

"Ain't that the truth…" Tails muttered under his breath.

**Amy gave them a level look, not swayed at all.**

**The boys clasped their hands together, pleading, "Please please please please!"**

" **Can we stay?" Sonic asked.**

**Knuckles encouragingly grinned. "Be a guy!"**

"Where does Knuckles live, anyway?" Amy asked, thinking about how desperate he was for a TV. "We've never seen his house, have we?"

"We have not seen my double either, but I _supposedly_ do have one," Metal answered, reminding himself that he had yet seen the reason he'd been stuck here. However, obtaining a living body made the wait somewhat bearable for him – disregarding having a combustible mouth and a mutinous stomach. "He most likely lives in a cave elsewhere, similar to the badger."

"Like Sticks?"

"Yes, but cleaner."

Knuckles snorted. "Again, you're giving him a lot of credit here. He allowed _skunks_ to live in Amy's house."

"So did my copy's copy," Metal retorted. "And look where he lives. Granted, his house is lacking doors, but it is habitable nonetheless."

Sonic gasped. "Is that…a _compliment_ , Mets? Did I hear that right?"

The former robot narrowed his eyes. "No, it was a blatant fact. Also, I had not been complimenting _you._ "

"Well, _I_ have doors to my place, so if you're complimenting him, you're complimenting me."

"No."

"Just admit it!"

"No."

"Come onnnnn-"

"Copy, if you do not shut up, I will get the pepper," Metal said, and he _instantly_ regretted doing so when said torture device began floating menacingly in the air. Then, it turned until the pointed end aimed at _him_ instead of Sonic. Metal froze and hastily rushed out, "I was not serious. It had been an empty threat."

Amy's gaze snapped between the spice and Metal, whispering, "I've never been this terrified of a food before."

"Even Meh Burger's?" Tails asked just as quietly, refusing to take his eyes off the pepper.

Amy had to think about it. "…No, this is worse. Definitely worse."

Metal's mind was whirling, unable to figure out a way to halt his incoming doom, but Sonic seemingly found a solution. "Hey, Metal…you sure that you weren't technically complimenting me?"

"I was _not-_ " Metal paused in his automatic reaction when it clicked. Painfully swallowing his pride, he forced, "I was not _not_ complimenting you. Yes, you having doors does make your living spaces more…habitable."

With that, the pepper plopped back down on its plate.

The room collectively sighed.

Amy held a hand up to her chest. "My heart's pounding!"

Knuckles never thought of how oppressive peppers could be until now. "Why did it target Metal anyway? Does just mentioning its _name_ cause it to move?"

"Dunno…" Tails wasn't going to be the one to test that theory out. "Maybe it did it in response to Metal's blatant lie?"

Metal resisted the urge to argue that so he wouldn't have a pepper shoved down his throat.

"It doesn't matter." Shadow snapped. He did _not_ feel like going through that ordeal again. He'd rather babysit Froggy for a month. "Don't mention it in any shape or form, and we should be fine."

Eggman thought that his stay here was looking up because of the video he managed to record. Turned out that he was wrong. "When did my life turn into a B-grade horror movie?"

"The first time you looked in the mirror with that 'stache."

Eggman counted the minutes until he got his vacation _away_ from that smiling blue menace.

**Relenting, Amy groaned. "Ugh, fine! But only because I am** _**extremely** _ **selfless." Her green eyes glared. "But if you two do anything foolish, I promise you will face** _**my wrath!** _ **"**

"Selflessness and wrath, huh?" Sonic nodded. "Makes sense."

**The smile came back when she genially waved. "Ta-ta!" Amy grabbed her suitcase and rolled it out of the door, leaving Sonic and Knuckles alone.**

"She is insane."

"No, Metal!" Amy opposed. "Didn't you say that she was on the line?"

"Yes. Now, she had obliterated it completely."

**The boys high-fived when she left. "Yeah!"**

**Sonic smirked. "Wanna do somethin' foolish?"**

**Knuckles matched his expression. "Do you even hafta ask?"**

Knuckles was starting to have a bad feeling about this. Normally, the other Sonic's appearance didn't bother him, but currently, the hedgehog and Mittens seemed to be sharing the same wavelength. They needed a character to balance this out. "Weird how Tails hasn't shown up yet. This one has to be about him and Sonic, right?"

Both eager to see what his double would do and feeling sorry about the future condition of Amy's shack, Sonic grinned over at Knuckles. "We thought that beforehand, but it could be about those two! They got that bro synergy goin' on!"

"Don't ever say that again."

Sonic chuckled. "It's true! And we got it, too!" Knuckles was going to refute it. Sonic didn't let him. "Tails and I are bros, but me and you are _bros._ Got each other's back, you know? Through the thick and thin! You and I might disagree a bit sometimes, but we always help each other in the end! We're totally bros!"

Knuckles grumbled and looked away.

Sonic cheekily smiled. "Admit it, Knux. You can do it. Come on."

Knuckles remained silent.

Sonic continued, "Speed and strength. Red and blue. Grapes and chili dogs."

Knuckles winced at that combination. "You're barely making sense."

"And I'll make even less if you don't say we're bros."

Knuckles sighed, trying to ignore Sonic's expectant expression. He recalled all of their adventures and admitted, " _Fine_ , yeah, we are."

Sonic leaned forward. "We're what…?"

The echidna shook his head because this was so stupid, but that didn't keep the small smile off his face. "We're _bros._ Happy now?"

Laughing, Sonic sped over to him and gave him a noogie. "Aw, I'm touched, Knux!"

"Soak it in all you want…" Knuckles struggled a bit before smirking, easily breaking Sonic's grasp and putting him in a headlock, messing up his quills. "Because that's the last time I'm saying it!"

Amy shook her head good-naturedly. "Boys will be boys."

Tails watched in amusement as Sonic attempted to escape the trap, only succeeding when Knuckles eventually let him go. As Sonic returned to his seat, straightening mussed quills, Tails said to Knuckles, "You know that he's never going to let you forget this, right?"

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

"And he's probably going to carve it on the Master Emerald alter at some point."

"Don't let him do that."

**The next shot showed Sonic standing on top of a stone slab that Knuckles was holding over his head. Knuckles hurled it with a grunt, and Sonic rode the slab around the home like a surfboard, twisting and turning and nearly breaking fragile décor.**

Amy couldn't believe what she was seeing. "While that looks fun in all, why do they have to do that _inside?_ There's gotta be fun hills and cliffs they could do that on without destroying their selfness yet wrathful friend's house!"

Tails could only imagine what the other Amy would do if she found out. "I'm a little scared for them."

"They should know the risk involved." Metal pointed out. "Either they do not care, or they already have their wills written out."

**Eventually flipping off the stone, Sonic landed on the couch while Knuckles caught the slab before it crashed into anything. The hedgehog picked up a vase that had been knocked down and proudly exclaimed, "Stuck it!"**

**Knuckles ran over to him with a grin. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"**

**They both leaned forward in excitement. "Nacho break!"**

Knuckles knew that this wasn't going to end well, somehow.

Metal tilted his head at the screen. He _shouldn't_ be thinking about food right now, but he couldn't help it. He pictured the cheese and the chips and asked, "Are nachos as good as cookies?"

Sonic shrugged. "Depending on what you're in the mood for: sweet or savory! They are pretty delicious, though, especially if you add some salsa-"

" _Shhh!_ " Amy briskly cut him off, and when his astonished gaze landed on her, she motioned to the pepper.

Sonic's breath caught in his throat. Hopefully the word salsa hadn't triggered it. There _had_ to be salsa somewhere in the world that didn't have peppers, right? Right.

After a few seconds, the pepper still hadn't moved. The hot sauces were stationary also.

Wiping his forehead, Sonic faced Metal, who had blanched at the mention of spice. The speedster gave an apologetic smile. "The perfect combination is tortilla chips and cheese. Nothing else. No other ingredients."

Metal curtly nodded, wisely leaving it at that.

**The duo was then eating cheesy nachos on Amy's couch, watching TV. Enjoying his snack, Knuckles didn't notice some cheese dripping onto the purple cushion until it was too late.**

Amy sighed. "And it begins…"

**They both look at each other in panic before Sonic wobbly smiled. "It's okay! It's just…a small stain!" He held up a cloth. "We can fix this!" Sonic leaned over Knuckles to wipe the cheese, but he only smeared it more.**

Tails and Amy simultaneously shook their heads in disappointment.

" **Uh…" Knuckles hurried to think of a solution. "I heard seltzer can get out stains!"**

Knuckles was marginally impressed. It was better than nothing.

**Sonic sped off and quickly returned with a bottle of soda. "No seltzer, but there's grape soda!" Taking the top off, he said, "It has bubbles, so it should work!" He poured the drink onto the yellow stain, creating a worse and bigger one.**

"Why did he…" Horribly confused, Sonic ran a hand down his face. "Even I know that grape soda is the number one _cause_ of stains! It's the worst flavor to spill!" He'd had plenty of experience with that.

"Did they find another body-switching meteorite?" That was the only conclusion Metal could come up with. "He could not have possibly believed that the purple would magically disappear."

Knuckles snorted. "I bet the couch is going to be completely unrecognizable by the end of this."

**Knuckles glared. "Aw, you soaked it! Better take it outside to dry in the sun."**

Amy winced. Watching this was painful. "Right, because _that's_ how stains work. Cheese doesn't even evaporate!"

**With effort, they picked up the sofa and tried to take it outside, Knuckles in the lead. They were grunting with strain when the couch refused to fit through the door. Eventually, it began to rip.**

"The thought of angling it never crossed their minds?" Knuckles deadpanned.

"Of course not," Metal said. "They are sharing one brain cell at the moment."

" **Whoa!" Sonic stared at the tear with wide eyes. "You're ripping it!"**

" _ **You're**_ **ripping it!" Knuckles heatedly countered.**

**After trying with all their might for another moment, they look at each other in defeat before sliding the couch back to its proper place.**

Tails sighed in relief. "At least they won't have to deal with a destroyed door frame."

**Knuckles sat down on it and sighed. "Amy's gonna kill us! What do we do?!"**

" _ **Do you think you and your bro have what it takes to throw down on 'Bro-Down Showdown'?"**_ **Comedy Chimp's voice filtered through the television, catching their attention.**

Amy had never been happier to see that chimp in his regular clothes. That black dress had not been flattering at _all._

" _ **The show where bros compete to show how well they know their bro? 'Bro-Down Showdown' will be taping at the village center this weekend!"**_

"That's the plot of this one? Winning a game show to probably replace Amy's couch?" Sonic would've preferred something with more action, but this could be fun to watch. "Sounds easy!"

"Too easy," Knuckles muttered. "Eggman is definitely getting involved in this somehow."

Eggman wished that wasn't the case, but it was inevitable at this point. "All I ask is that he just shows up at the very end to quickly be defeated."

"You know that's not gonna happen, Eggy."

"Can I not have a chance to _hope_ , pincushion?"

**Knuckles frowned. "How's that gonna help us? Stupid TV."**

" _ **Don't miss your chance to win a brand new couch!"**_

" **Still don't get it."**

" _ **Yes, you heard right! A brand new couch!"**_

**Knuckles stared for a few seconds. "Nope. Nothing."**

Shadow should've gotten a good punch in when Mittens had been here, for insurance.

**Then, it was revealed that one of Eggman's fly-bots was hovering over the duo.**

Eggman inwardly groaned. "Speak of the devil."

"That's _so_ creepy!" Amy glared over at the doctor. "Don't tell me that you spy on us all day every day!"

He glared back, appalled. "Of course I don't! I'm not as desperate for a win as he is!"

Dubious eyes landed on him.

Eggman's mustache bristled. "I'm _not!_ "

Knuckles rose a brow. "So, controlling a monster that can basically eat time for breakfast wasn't an act of desperation?"

"No!"

Metal hummed. "I guess that the definition of desperation has changed from the last time I checked."

Eggman took a deep breath because this wasn't worth the aneurysm.

**Off in the evil lair, the doctor was in his office, watching them on a large screen. "Do I need to express how that spying on Sonic has given me an idea for a plan to destroy him?" he asked Cubot standing to the side. "Or is that obvious?"**

**Cubot tilted his head. "Is what obvious?"**

Tails tried to figure out what he was planning, but he was drawing blanks. "What can he do, exactly? Attack while Sonic and Knuckles are doing the gameshow? What's the difference of doing that and doing it normally?"

"It's flashier," Sonic quipped. "And we all know that all Eggmen _love_ showing off."

**Later, a long line was standing in front of the set for 'Bro-Down Showdown'.**

**Sonic gazed around, surprised. "Can't believe how many people showed up to this audition!"**

" **Out of the way! Move it or lose it!" Hearing a commotion from behind, the heroes turned to find Eggman pushing through the line. "Total bros coming through!"**

Tails was completely lost now. "Wait, _he's_ going to play too?"

"And is that Orbot?" Amy frowned. "That'll be cheating! He knows everything about that robot, and vice versa!"

**Incredulous, Sonic asked, "Eggman? What are you doing here?"**

**The doctor put his hands on his hips. "Oh nothing," he said too innocently. "Just auditioning with my bro-bot!" He looked at the red robot beside him. "Isn't that right, Orbie?"**

Eggman wanted to disappear. Would it _kill_ him to speak like a normal person? "Why is he _there?_ Unless this unfolds into some elaborate and ingenious scheme to get rid of that rodent and his posse for good, then this will be completely idiotic."

Shadow grunted. "You say that like it already hasn't been."

**Orbot wasn't too enthused. "Yes, sir. It would seem I'm your…bro."**

" **Alright!" An off-screen voice called. "Who's next?" A ferret with a red checkered hat walked up, eyeing the ones in line.**

"Hold on!" Sonic recognized that guy. "Didn't he work with that Justin Beaver dude a couple episodes ago?"

Amy couldn't believe that he was here. "Why isn't he in _jail_ or something? He hypnotized all the girls in the village for money and fame!"

"My only guess is that he never got caught…" Tails mused, wary of the ferret. "He did run off once Justin had been freed from the mind control."

Amy remembered that, but, "Sonic, Tails, and Mittens saw him, though! They had to have reported him!"

"They probably did," Knuckles replied. "But the police force here is practically nonexistent, remember?"

"Okay, I understand him not being caught on the run." The pinkette gestured violently at the screen. "But he's directing a _TV_ _show!"_

"…Maybe he's using mind control here too somehow?" Tails guessed.

Knuckles' gut dropped. "If he is, I hope he leaves the singing out of it. One episode was enough."

**After looking at the first couple, he stated, "Too old." The next one, which included Barker, caused him to say, "Too ugly."**

Sonic snickered. "He's probably been conned by Barker too."

**The next, "Too out of touch with the common man."**

**A suited up beaver and his friend walked away sadly.**

Knuckles was glad that they were gone. The beaver was the same one who inadvertently helped Mittens become the mayor of the city. He'd rather _not_ have constant reminders of that disaster.

**The ferret frowned at Sonic and Knuckles. "Eh, next!"**

**Sonic didn't like that. "Hey! You barely looked at us!"**

" **Sorry, kid." The director wasn't apologetic at all. "Just not getting enough of a bro vibe."**

Amy was even more confused now. "They don't…know each other? But they – _huh?_ " She looked around at the others in the room. "Anyone else thinks that's totally weird? It can't be just me."

"I would not be surprised if they had blocked their memory of the whole experience altogether," Metal responded. "It had been mostly horrendous."

Amy couldn't argue with him there. However, she hated that the ferret's presence didn't scream: _something is wrong here._

**Eggman laughed. "Sucks to be you!"**

**Sonic gritted his teeth. "Can it, Egghead! You think he's gonna prefer your unruly mustache and your dainty lame-bot?"**

**Orbot sighed.**

Sonic didn't know whether to laugh or to feel bad for the guy. "He must've been through a lot to not be offended by that. He just looks…depressed."

"Of course he has." Like Sonic, Knuckles was somewhat conflicted. "Half of the words Eggman says to him are insults."

Eggman scoffed. "Half is generous."

" **I'll show you** _ **unruly,**_ **you spiny haired rodent!" Eggman threatened.**

**The ferret interrupted their argument. "I'll have none of that bickering at my audition!" A smile grew on his face. "Save it for the show! You two are bros now!"**

"Talk about your unwanted plot twist…" Tails muttered. "This guy _has_ to be working with Eggman, right?"

Sonic had been looking forward to see how his twin and Mittens would do. His disappointment was immeasurable, and his day was ruined. "Has to be! Why else would he put two polar opposites together?"

" **What?" Sonic adamantly shook his head. "No no! We're not bros, we're** _ **enemies!**_ **"**

" **That hedgehog is no bro of mine!" Eggman denied before gaining a pensive expression. "Then again, I'm not gonna complain if it gets us on the show. Come on, Sonic! Play ball!"**

Amy hoped that things didn't get too bad. "They're definitely working together."

Eggman oh-so- _wanted_ to completely agree, but there was this annoying little whisper in the back of his mind saying that no, they weren't working together. That his double was going to surprise his in the worst way possible.

He could do nothing but brace himself.

**Sonic sighed and muttered, "I guess you're right." He faced Knuckles. "Sorry Knux, but if we wanna win that couch for Amy, I gotta do this."**

"Just buy her another one!" Amy futilely suggested. They were heroes! They _couldn't_ be broke!

"But it's free, Amy." Tails sighed, understanding why the other Sonic was doing this. "Nothing beats the power of free."

**Knuckles slumped in disappointment. "But…I thought this was gonna be a Sonic and Knuckles episode…"**

"A Sonic and Knuckles _episode?_ " Sonic repeated incredulously. "Forget everything else! _That_ doesn't make any sense! He shouldn't know about the 'episodes' yet." He furrowed his brow. "Right?"

Tails was flabbergasted as well, Mittens' statement coming out of left field. "Right! He can't know that we've been watching them at this point!" The kit frowned in thought. "Yeah…Mittens mentioned Shadow and Metal, but we haven't seen them yet."

"That technically doesn't mean anything," Eggman refuted. This was so unexpected that it caught _his_ attention. He normally refused to question whatever that idiotic echidna said or did. "We don't see every second of those rodents' lives." Thank _Chaos_ for that. "So, there could've been interactions that we missed."

Eggman had a point, but, "The episodes are in order, though!" Tails remembered Mittens' reactions to everything when he had been forced to watch. "And it seemed like the double Knuckles incident and the New Year's day party was a while ago!"

"Maybe it was just a coincidence…?" Amy provided.

Metal instantly shut that idea down. "The probability of that is very slim."

Knuckles jumped in. "What's the probability that he said it just to be stupidly empathetic?"

"Slightly higher."

"See?" Knuckles understood why the others were questioning it, but this was _Mittens_ they were talking about. If the other Tails said it, then it would be a bigger issue. As it was, "There are _very_ few times we can take whatever Mittens says seriously. This is not one of them."

"But it's not only him!" Tails prodded his memory, recalling when they had been confused by something like this before. "Remember the Mayor before Mittens took over his job?" Knuckles didn't _want_ to. "Didn't he say something about getting this 'story' started?"

That did happen, but Knuckles refused to believe that this was anything but a random coincidence. "Yeah, but again, it had been the _Mayor._ The same person who _gave_ Mittens that damn job."

"I _know…_ " Tails scratched his head. "It's just so weird!"

"If you _were_ right," Knuckles began hypothetically. "How in the world did Mittens know about it back _then_ to spread the info around? Did he somehow find the Chaos emeralds-"

"That don't exist," Shadow curtly reminded him.

Knuckles had nearly forgotten about that. "-that are _nonexistent_ there to travel back in time just to blab about us watching them?"

"That does sound convoluted, and basically impossible…" Tails admitted. His curiosity still refused to go away, however. "But that still doesn't explain why Mittens-"

"Mittens can't be explained, Tails. We've been over this."

Tails opened his mouth again before closing it, letting this occurrence go this time. It was almost too weird. But he was keenly looking out if it happened again in the future.

**Eggman scoffed. "Yeah, well life's full of disappointments, Nurples."**

Metal stifled a chuckle, clearly still enjoying that running gag, and Knuckles rolled his eyes.

" **I always wanted to be a traffic cop." He motioned the echidna to the side like a trained officer. "Now move along! You're blocking the fire lane."**

Sonic snickered. "A traffic cop? Egghead, if you ever tried to do that-"

"-he would be run over instantly," Shadow interrupted. "By me."

Eggman was glad that he had always dreamed of world domination.

Sonic slowly blinked. "Not exactly where I was going with that joke, Shads, but okay."

**The next scene showed all of the contestants on set, sitting in small sofas on a stage. Along with Eggman and Sonic, there were Knuckles and Mike, two stunt bears, and Dave and Lady Walrus.**

"Oh, hey! Mittens got on anyway!" Amy pointed out. It made sense that he and Mike would still be friends after the 'Just a Guy' incident, but the other contestants were…questionable. "Aren't those bears part of Barker's circus crew?"

"Yep. And Dave's back too," Knuckles mumbled. "Wonderful."

The pinkette counted the people on screen and frowned. "Literally _half_ of the contestants here are villains. Five including that ferret guy. Eggman's definitelybehind this."

Amy crossed her fingers and _hoped_ that karaoke wasn't on the to-do list.

**Knuckles glared at Sonic, who was close to him. "Look,** _**Sonic.** _ **" He jabbed a thumb at a waving Mike. "I've got a new partner! Jealous, much?"**

"I would be bummed out too, honestly," Tails admitted. Getting replaced by _Eggman_ of all people would be a hard hit. He'd be less insulted if he got replaced by a chili dog. "But at least he's still playing!"

**Sonic smiled. "Great idea, Knux! Now we have double the chances of winning that couch for Amy!"**

**The echidna crossed his arms, grumbling, "Way to take the wind out of my sails…"**

"Aw! He's kinda adorable when he pouts like that."

"Careful, Amy. You might get the blue hedgehog of _this_ dimension jealous."

Sonic shrunk away from Amy's suddenly intense gaze, grousing, "I was enjoying myself, Knuckles, and you had to take that away from me."

"It's what bros do."

**A voice coming from the speakers cut their interaction short. "Live, from village center! It's 'Bro-Down Showdown'! Today's bros, Sonic the hedgehog and Dr. Eggman!" Sonic waved while Eggman combed his 'stache. "Knuckles the echidna and Mike the ox!" Knux gave a thumbs up and Mike waved. "A pair of stunt bears!" They growled at each other. "And Dave the intern and Lady Walrus!"**

**Sonic rose a brow. "Seriously, Dave?** _**She's** _ **your bro?"**

**Dave held his hands up. "We don't like to put labels on our bro-lationship."**

Amy cringed at the wording. "What relationship?" She refused to use the same word he did. "The one where he poisons Lady Walrus with Meh Burger's food?"

**Comedy Chimp walked on set, holding a mic. "Thank you! Welcome to 'Bro-Down Showdown'! The show where bros go toe-to-toe in hopes of winning a narratively convenient prize!" He motioned over to a couch that looked similar to Amy's.**

Tails wildly gestured at the screen. "A narratively convenient prize! That _can't_ just be another coincidence! Something strange is going on!"

Knuckles was still hesitant, but what CC said _was_ out of place. He wasn't jumping on the cross-dimensional/time travel train yet, though. "Well, if Eggman _did_ plan this whole thing out and told Comedy Chimp about the couch, then it makes sense why he said it."

Sonic didn't know what to believe. "How about we just let things play out? See if the rest of the heroes say anythin' about it?" Because that would answer the question for sure.

Tails and Knuckles nodded.

" **So, let's get started!" Comedy Chimp focused on the first pair. "Dr. Eggman, what is Sonic's favorite movie?"**

"Something jam-packed with action, explosions, and occasional near-death experiences that get your blood pumping!"

**Knuckles whispered to Mike, "No** _**way** _ **he'll know this. It's** _**Crocto-Pottomus.** _ **"**

Sonic had never heard of that movie, but from that title alone, he doubted there would be enough explosions to suit his taste. And he had a good guess that water was involved. A definite no-go.

**Eggman hummed, scratching his chin. "I believe one time while he was pummeling me with a severed arm of one of my robot drones, he mumbled something about space pigeons. So…I'm gonna go with** _**Space Pigeons 2.** _ **Everyone knows it's the best of the trilogy."**

**The buzzer light above Sonic and Eggman shined green.**

_Space_ _Pigeons 2_ sounded a little better. Never could go wrong with a fast-paced space adventure, but nevermind that. Sonic scratched his cheek. "Pummeling Egghead with a robotic arm, huh? That's…interesting."

Knuckles pictured it happening. "I'm not surprised. Your double seems to be a _little_ bit more impulsive. Imagine him having a really bad day, his chilidog had been burnt or something-" Sonic shuddered at that. "-and then Eggman comes along with some ridiculous plan. I can see him snapping."

Shadow and Metal wished that they had seen it. Would've made this experience much more entertaining.

Eggman made sure to stay away from burnt chilidogs.

" **Correct!" Comedy Chimp confirmed. "** _ **Space Pigeons 2**_ **. Sonic and Eggman off to an early lead." He walked off. "Now, Dave and Lady Walrus."**

**Sonic shot Eggman an amused look. "I can't believe you knew that."**

**The doctor smiled. "Hey, you gotta know your enemy! Especially when he's your bro!"**

Amy scrunched her nose in disgust. " _Why_ is he so hung up on them being friends? Especially when he's trying to defeat them at every chance he gets?"

"He is lonely, surrounded by less-than-optimal robotic henchmen." Metal blatantly pointed out. "The isolation is deteriorating his mental state. Did he not also role-play, being my copy's copy at some point?"

"I'd _rather_ not be reminded of that." Knuckles groaned. "But thank you."

**He pulled Sonic close and gave him a noogie, to the hedgehog's discomfort. However, Eggman quickly pulled back when a quill cut his finger. "Ow!"**

Sonic nodded. "Completely deserved."

**A buzzer went off, and the camera cut to Comedy Chimp standing in front of Dave and Lady Walrus. "That's right for ten points!" He looked at the bears. "Now, Stunt Bear No. 2, how did Stunt Bear No. 1 say you first met?"**

**No. 2 growled an answer, and it was wrong, for the sign buzzed red. No. 1 snarled before they both were snarling at each other, fighting in anger.**

"Well…they didn't last long," Tails said. "But I don't understand why they were on the show in the first place if we don't know what they're saying."

"Right? Makes no sense!" Amy would've been a much better director for the show. Apparently, that ferret was too busy trying to be evil to listen to common sense. "I would've put another pair there! Like…" She giggled at her idea. "Like Tails and Sticks! Now _that_ would be a game show I'd watch."

Knuckles wouldn't wish that upon his worst enemy. "Tails would be tortured by Sticks screaming about aliens using mind control or something the whole time."

"Which…wouldn't be necessarily wrong if this was another Justin Beaver situation," Tails mused. Her crazy predictions _had_ occasionally been right in the past. "But it would help if she and my double were around for this just in case things go sour."

"Oh, they definitely will with Eggman involved." Sonic waved him off. "My twin and Mittens are more than enough to take him on!" At least, he hoped.

" **Ooo, that's a disqualification," CC stated, going closer to the squabbling bears. "The Bro code clearly dictates there must be no fighting between bros."**

Sonic and Knuckles rolled their eyes because that rule did _not_ exist.

**The bears walked off dejectedly. "Now Knuckles, we asked Mike the following question: A bro would never do** _**what** _ **, to another bro?"**

" **Hm…I'm gonna have to go with…" Knuckles aimed his next words at Sonic. "Totally** _ **ditch**_ **him to appear on a game show with his arch-nemesis!"**

Amy felt for him somewhat. "That's true…but at the same time, I'm pretty sure the wrath of my twin outweighs the small betrayal." If she came home to a ruined apartment after leaving her friends to take care of it, someone was going to be _real_ acquainted with her hammer.

**Sonic guiltily sighed, and the sign buzzed red.**

" **I said a bro would never eat the last cheese ball without asking, but your answer was good too," Mike softly said.**

"That's a pretty good answer! Do you hear that, Sonic?"

"That was _one_ time, Tails! You were takin' forever to eat them and it was _right_ there-"

"I was savoring them! Not everyone inhales their food like you do!"

"I had gotten you more afterwards!"

"But that one could've been the _best one._ "

"…It had been pretty good."

**There was a quick commercial break with the show's advertising poster, then Comedy Chimp was by the hero/villain duo again.**

" **Sonic, if your bro were a food, what kind of food would he be?" CC asked.**

Knuckles felt that this answer was _too_ obvious. "He probably answered something completely ridiculous."

**Sonic thought for a moment. "Uh…I don't know, an egg?"**

**Eggman frowned. "Ohh, I said herb-crusted tilapia."**

Despite all of the _Why_ that echoed in everyone's thoughts, Metal pressed past the foolishness to ask, "I wonder what that tastes like?"

Amy gave him a pointed look. "Even after what you've been through, you're _still_ thinking about stuffing your face with food?"

"It is a weakness I cannot control as of yet."

**He then perked up. "But then I changed by answer to** _**egg!** _ **" The sign buzzed green.**

"At least he used his brain for once…" Eggman muttered, still unsure where this game was leading them.

**Comedy Chimp moved on. "Knuckles, we asked Mike what color you are."**

**Knuckles smiled and looked at his partner. "That's easy! I'm red!"**

Again, Knuckles shouldn't be impressed that his twin knew what _color_ his fur was, but he had set the bar so low that anything was an improvement.

" **Aww…" Mike put a hand on his forehead, disappointed in himself. "I said green. I'm colorblind." Their buzzer went red. Mike pointed to it. "Was that the green light?"**

Tails furrowed his brow. "But…after all these years, wouldn't he be used to it by now? And know what the colors really are?"

"Remember that this is the same person who broke his leg after begging to sit in during an Eggman fight," Knuckles reminded him. "So, no. He wouldn't know."

" **No," CC said unrepentantly before going to the third pair. "Now, Lady Walrus, what is Dave the intern's occupation?"**

**She was quick to answer. "He works in the fast food industry!"**

**Dave was even quicker to object. "I said evil villain bent on destroying the world."**

" **Judges?" Comedy Chimp listened to the earpiece he was wearing. After a second, he smiled. "We can accept that answer!" Their buzzer was green. The pair fist bumped.**

Amy couldn't refute that call.

"Dropping from doomsday device to fast food is a major downgrade, though..."

The pinkette looked at Tails. "Did you forget that he turned the toilet paper in the bathroom the wrong way?"

"…Forget what I just said."

**It was Sonic's and Eggman's turn once again. "Sonic, if you went out of town, what's the first thing your bro said he would do while you were gone?"**

" **Oh, I know this one!" Sonic exclaimed confidently. "It's gotta be 'destroy the village'."**

" _More_ than a tiny village," Eggman muttered, imagining what it would be like if Sonic and all of his irritating friends just disappeared for a week. The world would be his and his _alone._

Sonic saw the wistful look on his face. "Keep dreamin', Eggy. Never gonna happen."

"There are no absolutes in the world of _science_ , pincushion."

"But you're already an exception, though. How many wins do you have under your belt?"

Eggman ignored his infuriating grin, refusing to answer.

**Eggman laughed. "He's right! I said I'd destroy the village." He suddenly became serious, glaring. "I'd reduce you all to a smoldering pile of ash."**

_Doubtful,_ the doctor thought. There was no profit to be made off of ash.

**The sign buzzed green, and the audience cheered.**

"I honestly would not take him seriously either," Metal commented. "He is barely a villain. I am sure any of us here could easily take over that village if given incentive to." He almost excluded Eggman, but even _he_ with his incompetence would be able to dominate in that dimension.

Knuckles thought about it. Sonic, Shadow, Metal, and himself could do it without a problem. Well, Metal pre-transformation; they didn't know his full abilities now. Tails was a master strategist, so he wouldn't have an issue either. Amy…he's seen her anger on the worst days, and she'd have people running in terror in a heartbeat.

The echidna hummed. "That dimension would be _doomed_ , honestly. Not a lot of stuff going for it."

"Especially if the rest of the team is actually useless if the other Sonic's gone like the other Eggman always alludes to," Tails provided. "There wouldn't be much defense, unless the other Metal and Shadow got involved for some reason."

Shadow had a gut feeling that they wouldn't. "That echidna is terrified of them. Chances are that they would be on our side."

"Yeah…those villagers wouldn't know what hit 'em." Sonic tapped his chin. "But what about the other Eggman? Would he help too, or get jealous and try to stop us?"

Amy glanced incredulously between all of them. "And _why_ exactly are we thinking so deeply about this hypothetical situation?!"

Metal crossed his arms. "It's better than watching the nonsense happening on-screen."

"Don't take it so seriously, Ames!" Sonic placated with a smile. "It's all for fun! S'not like we'd do it for real!"

"Speak for yourself," Shadow and Metal chorused.

Amy warily eyed them. "We _really_ need to keep those two apart after this."

Sonic agreed.

**Eggman and Sonic happily hugged each other before realizing what they were doing, awkwardly putting space between them.**

"That's _gross_."

"Couldn't have said it better myself, cactus."

" **Well, that ends round one! Knuckles and Mike, you have the lowest score." CC faced the front of the stage. "Audience! What happens to them now?"**

**He held his microphone out as voices shouted, "You're bro-liminated!"**

**Knuckles and Mike sadly leave.**

Amy shook her head, tisking. "Should've found Tails. Would've been a much better pick."

"I'm glad he managed to stay away from this insane plot," Knuckles countered.

**Comedy Chimp went on with the show. "We're down to the final two teams. Which one will go home with that snazzy new couch?"**

Sonic just had a hunch, but, "Probably not my twin, if I had to guess. It's a little too convenient and Eggman is _right there._ "

**The camera swiveled to the couch again before thudding stomps were heard in the distance. Everyone turned to see Eggman's Obliterator Bot, it ready to attack. The robot shot lasers at the villagers, causing them to run in panic.**

No one was surprised at the mech's appearance, and Sonic felt validated.

**Sonic hopped out of his seat in surprise. "An Eggman robot? Let's turn this bag of bolts into a scrap heap!"**

" **Hang on!" CC stopped his approach. "Did you say that's an Eggman robot? Judges?" He listened to his ear piece once more. "Yep, if you fight that robot, you're technically fighting with your bro."**

"And?" Sonic was ready for some action. "Who cares about a couch when there's people in danger? He can knock its head off in like two seconds!"

" **You** _ **gotta**_ **be kidding me!"**

**Eggman cackled. "I knew my plan would work! If you fight my robot, we'll be disqualified, and you'll never win that couch for that whiny little girlfriend of yours!"**

Amy kept her demonic squeal contained _this_ time in favor of questioning, "Wait wait _wait._ There's no mind control at all? Are Eggman and that ferret even working together? Eggman did all this just so Sonic couldn't win a _couch?!_ "

"Thatis the definition of being _unnecessary_." Eggman would have simply bided his time, coming up with a better plan than being an annoyance for _no_ reason. "What does _he_ benefit from this?"

"He is a desperate _desperate_ man who just reached the bottom of the barrel." Knuckles never thought that the other doctor would resort to this. "He literally gets nothing from this besides a shallow victory. Yeah, Sonic won't get the couch, so what?"

"He needed some kind of victory to help him sleep at night." Metal propped his chin in his palm. "And refusing my copy's copy that couch, getting his potential mate mad, somehow will do that."

In the corner of his eye, Sonic noticed all of Amy's frustration drain away at the former robot's words. There was a yearning look in her eyes now. He sighed. "You _had_ to draw attention to that part, Mets."

"What?" There was a subtle smirk there that Sonic didn't appreciate. "I just said-"

"I know what you said."

" **She's** _ **not my girlfriend!"**_ **Sonic hissed through clenched teeth.**

Sonic perked up at that, gesturing to the screen and raising a brow at Amy. Maybe all of the hints she thought was there _wasn't_ , and those two were just two great platonic friends who have done nothing romantic.

Amy waved him off, the smile permanent on her face. "Yeah, he said it, but did you hear _how_ he said it? There was panic like he didn't want the information getting out! They're _totally_ together, but too shy to admit it!"

**The buzzer flashed red.**

Amy couldn't hold in her squeal this time while Sonic marginally slumped. "That proves it!" She pleasantly sighed. "I need them to hurry up and go for a date so you can see how great it is."

"Ames, I know what a date is-"

"Just _wait._ "

**Relaxing in his chair, the doctor smirked. "On the other hand, you could just stand back and watch the town get blown to smithereens. Either way, you lose! On live TV!"**

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Because losing a couch is such a _massive_ blow." He almost wished that the ferret mind-control thing was the main issue here instead of this.

" **Don't worry, bro. I got this." Knuckles strolled back on the stage, putting a hand on his chest. "Maybe combat will fill the Sonic-shaped void you've left in my heart."**

"Awwww!" Amy cooed.

" _Ugh._ " Knuckles groaned. "If you hear me saying that ever, I've officially gone insane."

"Don't act like that! It's sweet!"

"Yeah, and I'm getting cavities."

**All of the hiding villagers gave an empathetic 'aww' before ducking back under cover.**

**Knuckles then ran up to confront Obliterator Bot, dodging a swinging arm.**

**Comedy Chimp was distracted by his ear piece. "The producers are telling me that I don't get paid if we don't finish the show. So, let's move on to round two."**

Tails was slightly concerned about the chimp's priorities at this point. "He's in such a bind for money that he doesn't care that he's in danger? His comedy show can't be paying him enough…"

"Are you surprised?" Metal asked. "One, his comedy is terrible, and two, did you _not_ watch the last episode?"

Comedy Chimp in a dress was a sight to see, alright. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Tails hoped that he got a raise so he could prioritize self-preservation a bit. Couldn't get paid if he was in a coma from blunt-force trauma.

**He addressed the stressed blue hero, "Sonic! What does Dr. Eggman have in his pockets right now?"**

**Knuckles ran in between the robot's legs to avoid an attack, accidentally tripping and rolling into a table.**

Knuckles would've punched a hole in the robot by now. "If Sonic is needed to take care of this thing, I _swear…_ "

**He picked up one of the wooden legs and used it as a bat to hit the missile coming straight for him. The missile was sent soaring through the sky.**

That missile was going to come back down eventually, and Shadow wondered what – or who – it was going to hit.

He hoped it was the other Eggman for wasting all of their time with this.

**Sonic sighed in relief, just now realizing that CC had asked a question. "Oh…his pockets! Right! I don't know, a uh…hippopotamus riding on a skateboard?"**

**Eggman pulled said item out of his back pocket and placed it on the floor.**

Tails stared in awe. "There's _no_ way he could've known that!"

Eggman wasn't as impressed. "My only question is _why_ he has that in the first place." It looked like a cheap toy a child would receive from a fast food restaurant.

"He probably cuddles with it at night to help deal with every loss." Sonic grinned over at the doctor. "Do you have a toy like that, Eggy? You have to, right? With how many wins you give to us?"

Eggman was going to learn to stop talking someday.

**After pulling the toy back, he let it go. The hippo rolled off the stage only to get stepped on by Obliterator Bot.**

**The sign buzzed green.**

**Sonic went back to his seat while Comedy Chimp regarded the other contestants, "Lady Walrus!"**

Amy wanted to hop through the screen and knock common sense into that hedgehog with her hammer. "He's seriously not helping Mittens! The couch is _not_ that important! I'm sure my twin would understand if they explained that they _tried_ to get her another!"

Knuckles wasn't sure. "Would you? After trusting them to _not_ destroy your house?"

"Honestly, I would. Especially because I'd partially blame myself for leaving them in charge again after what happened last time."

The echidna hadn't expected that. "Really?"

"Skunk stench is unforgettable, Knuckles."

**Knuckles was still fighting the bot. He dodged yet another attack before jumping up and slamming his fists on top of the enemy's head.**

**When a correct ding was heard, it was Eggman's turn. "Now, Dr. Eggman," CC started. "Fill in the blanks! Whenever Sonic does 'blank', I 'blank' myself."**

Sonic barked out a laugh. "There's only a few ways that answer can go!"

"And I _don't_ want to hear any of them," Eggman grumbled.

**The doctor grew pensive. "Hm…"**

**Knuckles punched the robot in the eye to no effect. He paused, shocked, when massive speakers rose from its back. Sound waves blasted, and Knuckles was launched away, crashing into props. He didn't get out of the way before Obliterator Bot stepped on him.**

" **Knuckles?!" Sonic shouted in worry.**

Amy pushed her hands forward, pretending to shove him into the fight. "Just _go!_ He obviously can't handle it himself!"

If Mittens ever came back to this dimension, Knuckles was going to offer a free lesson in self-defense because this was _pitiful._

" **Dr. Eggman, we need your answer," Comedy Chimp encouraged.**

**The doctor was deliberately dragging out the time. "Gotta think about this one for a minute, CC…"**

**Sonic gazed indecisively at the spotless couch and then sent the pinned Knuckles a concerned glance. Obliterator Bot began charging a laser.**

" **So, those cushions are poly-foam, right?" Sonic asked before shaking his head. "Aw, the heck with it!" He stood and yelled, "I'm comin', bro!"**

"Finally!" Amy explosively sighed, forcefully ignoring how the speedster questioned the quality of the couch before doing so.

**Sonic sped over and yanked Knuckles from underneath the robot's foot, narrowly avoiding the laser. Moving the echidna out of harm's way, Sonic zipped over and grabbed a sheet of metal.**

**He leaned against it, smirking at Knuckles. "You ready to do somethin' stupid, bro?"**

**The echidna instantly caught on. "Do you even have to ask?"**

"Do you think he noticed how much Sonic hesitated in helping him?" Tails questioned.

"Nah." Sonic shook his head. "He was too busy getting crushed to notice."

**Like with the stone slab earlier in Amy's house, Knuckles hurled Sonic into the air. The speedster rode the metal sheet until he got close enough to the robot. He spin dashed in place, hurling the metal right into Obliterator Bot's face, causing it to short circuit and fall backwards.**

**Eggman yelled in frustration.**

Metal rolled his eyes. "I cannot believe that he thought his plan was going to work flawlessly."

Sonic smirked. "I've said that _many_ times in the past."

They both sent Eggman jeering glances. "And I am sure you will be saying it more in the future," Metal replied.

"Sure am! Won't I, Egghead?"

Eggman couldn't _wait_ until he could visit some secluded beach, rest under a shaded umbrella, enjoy a refreshing fruity drink, and forget the existence of every rodent he knew.

At least until he figured out a plan to crush them all, of course. Then, he'd imagine himself dancing on their graves, still sipping that same drink while his robots took over the world with fire and bloodshed.

_Ah, the perfect life._

**Comedy Chimp approached the last remaining contestants. "Well, that's a disqualification! Today's winners are Dave the intern and Lady Walrus!"**

**Elated, the pair jumped up and ran over to their new couch with Lady Walrus holding a bowl of nachos. When they plopped down on the sofa, she dropped the snack, and a cheese-covered chip stained the cushion underneath.**

Sonic gaped. "Welp, there goes that."

"Where…" Tails must've blinked, thinking that he had missed something. "Where in the heck did she get those nachos?"

"From her back pocket, apparently." Knuckles grunted, seeing the couch get ruined not affecting him at all. "Doesn't it feel great to see that absolutely _nothing_ was accomplished this episode?"

Shadow wouldn't necessarily say that. "That turtle being shoved was the highlight of this whole damn thing."

Eggman, Metal, and Knuckles shared his opinion.

**Knuckles and Sonic looked on sadly.**

" **So…" the echidna began, "What are we gonna do about Amy's couch?"**

**Sonic shrugged.**

"Glad to know that money _never_ crosses their minds."

"Well, one barely has a mind to begin with, and the other's mind is not nearly as fast as his legs."

Amy stared at the former bot for a moment before saying, "Do you realize how rude you are sometimes?"

"I am fully aware."

**Later on, Amy was walking back up to her home with a golden trophy in hand. She passed Leroy, who finally managed to get off his back.**

"He's been there for _days?!_ " Tails explained, shocked.

Shadow snorted. "Good."

"And it's even better that Amy still doesn't pay any attention to him," Knuckles said with a chuckle. "It's perfect."

" **Amy! Nooo!" Sonic yelled as he and Knuckles rushed to catch her before she noticed anything.**

**Amy looked back in time to see Eggman's wayward missile from before speed into her house, blowing up upon impact. The explosion landed Leroy on his back again.**

Shadow smirked. This was _much_ better than the other Eggman.

Knuckles couldn't help but to laugh. "No, _now_ it's perfect."

**The pinkette gazed in shock at the mess when Sonic and Knuckles entered behind her. Her stained couch was nothing but ashes now.**

Amy gaped like a fish before uttering, "The luck balance of the universe, huh?"

Tails slowly nodded, still in disbelief. "Yep…seems like it."

**The boys' panic was gone now, replaced with giddy relief. Sonic tried and failed to hide his joy. "Oh man, Amy! Eggman totally destroyed your couch!"**

Sonic should be disappointed that they didn't own up to their mistake, but at the same time, he would've said anything to avoid that deadly hammer also.

" **And after we didn't spill nachos on it!" Knuckles slowly shook his head. "Oh, that's a shame."**

" **Yeah, real shame." Sonic nudged his bro, both wearing questionable smiles. "Come on, Knuckles. Let's get out of here."**

**Knuckles nodded, and they closed the door behind them when they left.**

**Amy groaned, grieving over the mess.**

Amy puffed out her cheeks, crossing her arms. "They could've at least helped her clean up!"

"And drown in that guilt?" Knuckles didn't blame them for leaving. "Taking off was the best option there. Less chance of them slipping up and telling on themselves." Which was inevitable with his twin around.

**The boys walked past Leroy as he miserably muttered, "I hope someone's been feeding my cat."**

"Oh no!" Amy gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. "That poor kitty…!"

Sonic tried to calm her down. "I'm sure his pet is alright, Ames! Cats are escape artists! It probably got out and found its way to Meh Burger to eat or something."

"Is that supposed to make me feel _better?"_

"Did I say Meh Burger? I really meant…anywhere else other than there."

Amy imagined the kitty being fed gourmet cat food at a respectable market, and some of her worry waned. It should be fine.

Knuckles ran a hand down his face. "You know, I'm relieved we found out that this _wasn't_ our actual future. I don't know if I would've been able to handle it if it was."

Tails couldn't disagree. "It's an…interesting dimension."

"You can say absolutely crazy, it's okay."

Sonic leaned forward in his seat, smiling in excitement. "That's got me thinking…what _is_ our future like?"

"I'm sure we'll be married and-"

"He is talking about reality." Metal cut Amy off. "Not your dreams." While she glared at him, he continued, "I am sure the doctor will be attempting to take over the world only to become more of a disappointment."

Eggman fought hard not to comment, taking steadying breaths.

Sonic snickered. "Yeah, I see that too! With all of us stopping him, as per usual!" He then eyed Metal, curiosity in his gaze. "Can you see yourself helpin' us out too, Mets? Or…"

Metal hummed, mulling the question over. He was done working for Eggman, that was for sure. But working along side his copy? He didn't know. He would have to experience the world from his new opened eyes, if he _kept_ them, that is…

However, he didn't get the chance to respond, for there was a blinding light that caused everyone to hiss in pain. Those sounds were then swallowed up by a loud nearby crash and the pained groan that came after it.

Everyone was on high-alert when the white light faded, all of their eyes snapping to the figure laying on the floor by the wall, cradling their head.

Sonic was the first to regain his voice, stunned at the condition the other was in. Dirt spotted stained fur, splotchy purple bruises were visible on pale skin, and the Mobian was a bit on the skinnier side.

He gave the newcomer another once-over before tentatively calling out, "Silver?"

The white-quilled psychic instantly froze before whipping his head around, eyes widened to their fullest. Silver was apparently as surprised as they were, carefully sitting up, gaze snapping to everyone in the room. Those yellow eyes lingered longer on Eggman, Shadow, and Metal – a bit of confusion mixing in with the latter – before refocusing on Sonic.

"Uh…" Silver swallowed thickly, body rigid as he curtly waved. "Hi."

"Hi," Sonic, Tails, and Amy breathily repeated, unsure about _what_ was going on.

Knuckles, seeing that everyone else had gone brain dead, decided to make some progress here. "What happened to you?" He would've asked 'How did you get in here?' first, but after seeing that bright light, he had a good clue.

"It's…kinda a long story." Silver's attention flickered back to Eggman for a moment, then the ruined room around him – burnt confetti and all – before glancing at his hands. "I'm in the past…" he said to himself mostly, puzzling the others who heard. "I didn't have a Chaos emerald, so how did I get here?"

Tails' stomach twisted as he looked Silver over. It would be an understatement to say that he wasn't in the best condition. "That's a long story too…" Explaining the _thing_ was going to take a while.

"Wait." Silver's brow furrowed as he regarded the heroes. " _You_ guys did it? How did you transport me here?"

Sonic shared a look with Tails, starting, "Well…"

"Hold on." Silver held up a hand, the other positioned on his grumbling stomach. "Before you explain, do you have any actual food? Been living off of limited rations lately, and if I have to so much as _look_ at another dry protein bar, I will lose it." There were blank stares, and he nodded. "Seriously."

Before Sonic could tell him to help himself with the plentiful food they had in the kitchen, his mind still trying to process what he was looking at, a plate of food suddenly appeared in Silver's lap.

The white hedgehog startled, but the plate stayed balanced, the gooey nachos on it making Silver's mouth water. He saw the chips, the inviting cheese, and the salsa decorated on top for a little extra kick.

Under normal circumstances, he would question the source of these magical nachos, but to heck with it. Questions could wait.

As Silver lifted a chip into his mouth, Amy had a feeling that something wasn't right. It wasn't Silver even though his dirtied condition was a major concern. Alarms were blaring in her head, and she didn't know why.

She looked between Silver and the nachos, back to Silver, back to the nachos, and then it clicked.

The _salsa._

Amy zeroed in on the table with the sauces and gasped when she realized that the pepper was _gone._ There was only one place it could be.

Oh…Oh no.

"Silver! Don't eat the-"

"Huh?" Silver peered over at her, mouth stuffed with multiple chips.

Well, at least Amy could say that she tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, a special guest from the future! Wonder how the others will react to the stories he'll tell about war, 'not' weak jackals, and the omnipresent Green Hill Zone. Probably not well.
> 
> Fire in a Crowded Workshop is next!


End file.
